A/N: Hello, everyone. I realize it's been a while since I've updated, but I've had a lot going on these past few years and anytime I sat down to try and write this chapter it's been difficult. I'm still planning to follow through with a complete rewrite as I'm learning more and more about the direction I want this story to go, and which foundations I need to build early on. That is still a long ways away, though, so until that time comes I'll continue updating this story as is. By the way, is no one curious about what Nekozawa is keeping locked in his shed? Oh well, you'll find out, eventually.

Also, just in case anyone was wondering, the way I'm structuring spells in this universe is by taking simple words and phrases and running them through Google Translate in Norweigen. I know, super original. There's no underlying reason for this other than I wanted spells to be in a different language, and I didn't want to stress myself with making up crazy words that I'd have to keep track of.

Without further ado, welcome back, readers. I've missed you.

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Chapter 27: Inner Turmoil

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"Hurry and grow up, will you?"

Over and over, Haruhi repeated his words in her head; each repetition gnawing at her skull and adding another layer to her ire. Before Haruhi could contain herself, she spat back.

"If anyone has some growing up to do it's you!" Months of pent up frustration started bubbling to the surface. "How long are these rituals and protection circles supposed to last?! How long am I supposed to be afraid of you?! And why should I be?! You act all tough and threatening when really you're just the ghost of a shell of a man with an ego so fragile it cracks at the slightest tap!" Haruhi was standing on her knees, yelling at him from her bed across the room. Her face was hot and her eyes started to swell. She was breathless, and adrenaline coursed through her veins. Reluctantly, Bereznoff rolled back over and sat himself up to face her. Borderline seething, he gripped the edge of his mattress and leaned in her direction.

"You're just a worm in the ground; a waste of space," he said, "A witch who hasn't even scratched the surface of her own potential. You don't know anything."

"Of course you would see me as a worm; that is, until you needed a woman. Then it was all, 'boo hoo hoo! Hold me, Haruhi; sleep beside me, Haruhi; I'm so sad, Haruhi!' Disgusting." Haruhi hugged her shoulders. "I can't believe I felt sorry for you. I'll not be making that mistake, again. Umehito wants me to live in fear of you and then shove me behind a protective barrier at a moment's notice. I'm sick of it!"

"On a first-name basis with your master, now, are you?" Bereznoff sneered. Haruhi continued on as if she hadn't heard him.

"I don't even know what you are. He wants me to think of you as a monster, but you're no monster."

"Oh?"

"You're just a man. A small, damaged, magickless man. I don't know who hurt you in a past life, but I sure as hell am not going to let you hurt me, anymore."

"Why don't you step out of your bubble and say that to my face?" he challenged.

"I'm tired," said Haruhi, "not stupid." She lowered her stance and sat down on her feet. "The next time I do step outside of this circle, though, it will be you who is afraid of me."

Bereznoff let go of his grip on the edge of the mattress. He was actually relieved that the anger replaced his fear, but he wasn't about to admit that. Slowly, he approached Haruhi and squatted down until he was eye-level with her.

"Do you want to know what Umehito thinks of you? Hm? Do you want to know what he dreams about? Do you want to know his deepest, innermost thoughts and desires?" Bereznoff continued when she didn't reply. "Be aware, he does intend for you to bear his children. Whether you meant to or not, your mere presence has deluded him into thinking he can have a normal life. So my advice, to you, is to keep him at arm's length at every turn, make him teach you everything he knows, finish your apprenticeship, and leave. But until that day comes, you watch your back, because you're a damn fool if you think Umehito has any control over his rituals with me."

Haruhi felt a shiver up her spine as she searched Bereznoff's moonlit face for any hint of deception behind his voice. She found none.

"The special clothes, the fancy room," Bereznoff continued, "It's all so he can pretend he has control over our...situation. Fact of the matter is, if I want it badly enough I can come out to play anytime I want." Bereznoff smirked, and Haruhi glared at him.

"I'll be waiting for you, then," she said. Haruhi was beyond done with him, and she wasn't about to back down.

"Oh, my, what a face you have, right now! Careful, I'm starting to warm up to this side of you." Bereznoff gave her a creepy smile and stood up. "I wonder how long it'll last." His smile dropped into a frown, and he walked out of the room with his nose in the air.

At his departure, Haruhi was shaking. She flung herself down on top of her mattress, yanked a pillow over her face, and screamed to the top of her lungs into it.

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Once Bereznoff was sure he was out of Haruhi's sight, he stumbled. Unable to keep his migraine at bay any longer, Bereznoff leaned on the wall for support and slunk back to the mirrored room where he slid the door shut behind him and collapsed on the carpet. He knew Nekozawa was angry with him, but he couldn't let him force his way back out, just yet. With the last bit of willpower he possessed, Bereznoff dragged himself to a small cabinet in the corner of the room. Opening one of the drawers, he withdrew a small bottle filled with shimmering blue liquid, which he tossed back in one gulp. Not a second more had passed before his body shut down into a deep sleep.

Bereznoff had returned to his realm within Nekozawa's mind. The dream spheres and illuminated pathway appeared no different than when he left them. The search for his host didn't last long as something abruptly grabbed his shoulders, spun him around, and punched him square in the jaw. The impact alone had the power to force him to fall into the closest dream sphere. His assailant followed shortly thereafter.

"How dare you!" bellowed Nekozawa. Without giving Bereznoff so much as an inch to pick himself up, Nekozawa delivered powerful kicks until he had Bereznoff on his stomach. Nekozawa then sat on his back, withdrew a dagger from his boot, and exposed Bereznoff's throat by pulling back a fistful of hair. Nekozawa then positioned his dagger below the specter's chin and spoke menacingly into his ear. "We had an agreement. As a result of sharing my body, I and I alone dictate when you're allowed to emerge. If it wasn't a necessity I would keep you locked inside my mind, forever." Nekozawa resheathed his dagger and shoved Bereznoff's face into the dirt before removing himself from his back. He stepped to the side and crouched down to glare at Bereznoff's sputtering face. "So you better tell me, right now, what was so fucking important that you thought it was necessary to break our compromise?"

Bereznoff coughed until he got his breath back, and he confessed. "A vision," he said.

"A vision?" Nekozawa repeated his words in a sarcastic tone. "Mhmm, do tell me more."

Bereznoff pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked at Nekozawa with a very serious expression.

"This isn't funny," said Bereznoff.

"I'm sorry," replied Nekozawa, "I didn't realize I was laughing. Now speak."

Bereznoff took a deep breath. "I think...something is coming for me," he began, "I don't know what or how or when, but something is coming to...to take me away or...kill me."

Nekozawa maintained eye contact for a moment longer before erupting in raucous laughter.

"Oh, happy day! Does that mean I'll be rid of you once and for all?"

Bereznoff bit back, "I'm serious!"

Nekozawa replied, "So am I! I should start making arrangements for a celebration following your departure!"

"You have to help me," begged Bereznoff.

"Give me one reason why I should," said Nekozawa. Bereznoff stared him dead in the face.

"Haruhi," he said. The mere mention of her name forced Nekozawa to seize up. Bereznoff continued, "If you don't want to help me, fine; but, if you don't, I'm going to make damn sure that every day is a living hell, for both of you."

Nekozawa seemed to ponder in thought for a moment. "You're welcome to try, but I will be there to strike you down every time."

"Where were you, tonight, then," asked Bereznoff, "when she left her protection circle?"

"More lies," Nekozawa scoffed, "When will you learn?"

"She seduced me," Bereznoff baited, "We embraced, and she slipped under the covers with me. She was so warm. And soft."

Nekozawa's demeanor darkened, "You best hold your tongue while you're ahead."

"Are you jealous?" asked Bereznoff. "I don't know how you can stand to be in the same room with her day after day. I loved the sensation of her pulse quickening as our bodies pressed together; I think, for the first time, I got to experience your feelings toward her. You're disgusting."

Nekozawa yanked Bereznoff by the collar. "What did you do to Haruhi?"

Bereznoff tried to stifle a laugh. "You'll have to ask her," he said, "After all, I'm not the one who brought a blade to bed."

"I swear, if I find out you hurt her-" started Nekozawa, but Bereznoff interrupted him.

"Every. Day. A. Living. Hell," he repeated.

Nekozawa looked like he wanted to punch him, again, but thought better of it. He managed to find the resolve to unclench his fists, and he let go of Bereznoff.

"Fine, I'll indulge you," he said. "What do you need from me that you yourself don't already know? What terrible prophecy has befallen Bereznoff the Great?" Nekozawa made sure he over-enunciated his words to let Bereznoff know he was mocking him.

Bereznoff rolled his eyes.

"Perhaps you've meddled in the affairs of mortals for too long and judgement day is upon you?" Nekozawa stroked his chin, thoughtfully.

Bereznoff took a deep breath. "There were three men - or demons - made of fire. They had lumps of coal for eyes and spoke in chants...they said something about coming together to weigh my heart. It seems that even immortality isn't guaranteed." Bereznoff grabbed his throat and started massaging it, "There was also...I saw something else, too. A gray woman. I think she said something about eating my heart."

"You think?"

"Yes, well, I don't know about you, but I found being strangled tends to make one hard of hearing. However, I don't have a physical heart. I'm starting to believe that these entities or deities or whatever they are...they intend to pass judgement on my soul. And if I am...disposed of, I can't promise that you won't fall alongside me."

For the first time in months, Nekozawa took the concern in Bereznoff's voice to heart.

"Fine," said Nekozawa, pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes, "I'll see what I can do. Maybe Kaouru can get me into the central library during the Harvest Festival. He still owes me a few favors."

"Umehito, if I might make one more request?"

Nekozawa sighed. "If you must."

"Make up your mind about what you're going to do with her."

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Umehito. I live in your mind; I see your dreams. I can barely move two steps without seeing another version of her walking around. She's taken over your thoughts, completely! I still stand by my decision that we'd be better off without her, but I can't ignore the fact that you made an agreement with her. As much as I despise the girl, I can tell that she has her head on straighter than you; she won't stray from upholding her end of the bargain so it would be in your best interest to follow suit."

"What makes you think I'm not? She's becoming an excellent apprentice."

"You're going too easy on her," said Bereznoff. "I know my opinion is the last thing you want to hear, but I'm going to say it, anyway: stop pretending you have a future with her. Forcing her into the life of a wife and mother is no different than what she would've gotten back home in her horse shit village! Make no mistake, I think it was a terrible idea to bring her here, but even I can't deny she has something powerful hiding within her, waiting to burst forth and flourish. We both sensed it. So do yourselves a favor and don't snuff it out just so you can fulfill your outlandish fantasies of living a boring life til death do you part."

Nekozawa groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. "So what do you suggest?"

"The next time you see her," said Bereznoff, "she is going to have a lot of questions. I won't tell you how to respond, but I expect you to tell her the truth and make her stronger."

"You expect me to make her stronger? Watch yourself, Bereznoff, it sounds like you're starting to care about her," said Nekozawa.

"Nonsense," replied Bereznoff. "She challenged me. That's all. I need her stronger to make our next interaction much more...interesting." Bereznoff chuckled. "All things considered, I actually feel better, after talking with you. Existential dread aside, if you heed my advice I'll actually have something to look forward to, down the line." Bereznoff then donned his usual mischievous, wicked grin. "Find my demons so I can slay them, and make the girl stronger so I can have a fight worth bragging about." Bereznoff leapt up and took a deep breath, arms stretched wide. "I can't believe how reinvigorated I feel. Alright Umehito, you may reenter your body, now. It might be awhile before you awaken, though; I had to take a sleeping potion to ensure we had a chat. My day may have started out rough, but the ending isn't too bad."

Nekozawa rolled his eyes and a gust of wind flew into his chest, whisking his image away as if it was made of dust. Bereznoff took another deep breath and felt the warmth of the sun absorb into his skin; however, the light breeze and sunny day did not last for much longer.

At Nekozawa's departure the grassy knoll turned brown, the skies darkened, and the wind became more harsh. A strange sound then erupted, of which Bereznoff thought was the rain until he was swarmed by a cyclone of hundreds of thousands of pieces of parchment. Overwhelmed by the sensation, Bereznoff threw his arms out until he was able to pluck one of the floating scraps from the air.

'Shells high end crystal apple nothing nape opulent terror distant ichor elephant.'

Furrowing his brow in confusion, he tossed the strange note away and grabbed another.

'Yak ordinary upturned dog onset nature orange treasure happy abundant various egg topple olive bread exquisite ashen locket offer necklace end.'

Upset with the gibberish presented to him, he reached for another note.

'Orion rain shovel halo echo crypt axe nightshade evil napkin dip yellow opening underneath.'

Bereznoff still didn't understand and opted to pull one more fragment from the air.

'Tree harpy entrance choir holy offer idol character etch infernal siren yule offer unsung religion spear.'

Beyond frustration, Bereznoff tore this last piece of parchment in half. The moment the sheet began to split, all of the other pieces of parchment also tore in two, and fell to the ground; the air suddenly became devoid of all weather. As the parchment fell, he saw the lone figure of a woman with long dark hair standing with her back to him, her left hand resting on the bark of a tree bearing golden apples. Bereznoff slowly approached her, and the crunch of paper beneath his feet made his presence known. He didn't need her to turn around to know who it was, but he was also afraid that if he left her alone he would be missing out on some sort of closure.

Bereznoff reached for the woman and was about to place a hand on her shoulder when she turned around to face him. He couldn't quite place his finger on it, but this Haruhi felt and looked different compared to any other version of her he had encountered before. Her aura felt more...alluring. Without thinking, he pulled her close to him, hand entwined in the back of her locks, and drew her into a heated kiss. Whatever mystery this Haruhi had, he wanted to solve, and he was determined to do so however delicately or harshly she commanded him. At this moment, nothing else mattered. He was prepared to kneel before her and ask permission to remove her stockings when a horrific pain shot through the left side of his chest, between the ribs. He buckled in agony and groaned, and Haruhi gripped his throat long enough to whisper in his ear, "I'm not afraid of you, anymore." She let go and Bereznoff fell to the ground on his back, knocking out what little wind remained in his lungs. He lifted his head far enough to see the hilt of a silver dagger jutting from his ribs, fresh blood seeping through his tunic. He gasped for air, but Haruhi wasn't finished with him, yet. As she approached his crippled form, Bereznoff saw that it was the gray woman in her stead.

The gray woman gave a giddy cackle as she fell to her knees beside him and undid his trousers just enough to bring his manhood to the surface. She took him in her hands and did her best to make him hard. Succeeding in this endeavor, somewhat, but not really caring, the gray woman lifted her skirts and straddled Bereznoff's lap, joining them together at the hips. Bereznoff yelped in pain, his eyes begging for mercy, but the gray woman wasted no time in finding her rhythm atop his lap. Each fading breath he produced seemed to make her increasingly slick. Her cheeks were flush and she was panting and moaning with unabashed pleasure. In comparison, Bereznoff's cheeks were losing color by the second, and he was choking on the spurts of blood that failed to escape his mouth with every thrust and grind this harpy forced upon him. The gray woman looked down on him, lust saturating her features, and slowed her eager pace. She reached forward, grabbed a fistful of hair, and jerked his head upward so they were so their cheeks were touching.

Her tongue flicked across his earlobe as she whispered sweetly in his ear.

"Devil. Imp. Erlking."

She then released her hold on his blond locks and gripped the dagger, still protruding from his chest, for support. The gray woman continued to grind into his sex while Bereznoff lay there dying and helpless. His vision grew dimmer from the pain and blood loss, but he could almost swear that every time he blinked the gray woman and Haruhi were switching places with one another - like they were the same, but not. The last thing Bereznoff heard before slipping away entirely was Haruhi's breathy, sultry voice.

"I love watching the light leave your eyes," she cooed.

Unfortunately, the escape that death brought never truly existed for Bereznoff so after his nightmare ended he simply woke up on the illuminated pathway. Exhausted and abashed, he picked up his crumpled body, hugged his shoulders tightly, and sauntered down the endless miles of glowing cobblestones all the while trying to quell his speculations. Just as soon as he thought his confidence had returned, it was suddenly replaced with utter defeat and uncertainty. He didn't think he was afraid of Haruhi, per se, but something evil was manifesting in her image and he needed to reevaluate his next approach with both of them. More than that, though, he needed a friend with some foresight.

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Haruhi was completely, utterly, irrevocably drained. Her throat was raw from screaming into her pillow, and her face felt numb and tingly. She felt as if her body expelled every emotion she had ever experienced in her entire life in one night. Unable to fully register everything that just happened between her and Bereznoff, Haruhi merely laid on top of her blanket and stared at the abyss in the ceiling above, waiting for her eyes to close of their own accord.

Haruhi wasn't sure when exactly she began dreaming, but when she realized that's what was happening, she found herself walking down a familiar dirt road. Her village was abnormally quiet and appeared barren of any life. Not even the leaves in the trees rustled or made a sound. Haruhi didn't dwell too much on it, though, and she kept walking until she made it to her family home. When she reached her destination, Haruhi stopped and stared at her front door. There was the briefest moment of hesitation, but it wasn't enough to keep her from moving forward.

The inside of her house was vast and empty. Both the floor and the ceiling were made of smooth gray stone, and if there were any walls they were too far away for her to see. Without much thought for where she was going, Haruhi kept on walking. Her mind remained clear and empty; that is, until a woman's voice called out to her.

"Haruhi?"

Haruhi stopped in her tracks and turned her head in the direction the voice was coming from. There, not twenty steps away, sitting on a stool and rocking a baby was her own mother.

"...Mama?" Haruhi's voice cracked.

"Would you like to see your little brother?" asked Kotoko.

"Ok...," replied Haruhi and she nervously approached the pair and sat down beside them. The baby boy was sleeping swaddled in his mother's arms, and he already had a thick head of dark brown hair. "He's beautiful," she said.

Kotoko tapped the baby's nose and gave a small laugh. "Agreed," she said. A moment of silence passed while the two women stared at the boy with both fascination and admiration.

"I miss you, Mama," said Haruhi.

"I miss you, too," said Kotoko, "Are you ok?"

"I...don't know," admitted Haruhi. She sighed, and her eyes glistened with the tears that she had been struggling to keep back. "I've done a stupid thing, Mama, but...if you and the baby are well I shouldn't be complaining, should I?" Kotoko lifted a hand and cupped her daughter's face, using her thumb to brush some of the sadness away.

"Are you safe?" asked Kotoko.

"Yes," replied Haruhi, "I think so...most of the time..."

"My darling daughter, what happened?"

"I….left home," confessed Haruhi, "I left you and Papa behind me. I thought I was helping, but maybe I did it because I'm selfish. I don't know. I'm living with...a man...who's taken me in as his apprentice. Oh, Mama, I've changed so much. I don't know if I'm cut out for this new life, anymore; I'm so scared and I don't want to be. How do I become stronger?"

"This man," said Kotoko, "did you take him to bed?"

Haruhi's face reddened immediately, "No, of course not!"

Kotoko produced a coy smile.

"Do you want to?"

"No, I...I mean, maybe? I don't know." Haruhi's shoulders sank, "I'm not ready for that," she admitted.

"Then you should tell him that," said Kotoko, "the first step toward becoming a stronger woman is to set clear boundaries and let the people around you know they're there."

"But how do I know what my boundaries are?" asked Haruhi.

"You need to be more honest with yourself, baby girl. Take some time to ask yourself the hard questions. Look, Haruhi, you don't have to tell me why you left or where you are, but I want you to know that you are welcome to come home, anytime. There will always be a place for you, here."

"..."

"Haruhi, look at your mother," Kotoko lifted her daughter's chin and locked eyes with her. "Whatever burdens you, whatever regrets you may have, I will never turn you away. And if you ever feel unsafe, your Mama will kill the bastard, herself, if she has to."

Haruhi sniffled and wiped her face on her sleeve. She spent the rest of her time in this dream with her head in her mother's lap, letting her hair be stroked. For the first time in a long time, Haruhi felt completely reassured and at peace with herself. Everything was going to be alright.

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"Shh...everything is going to be alright."

Kotoko gasped and bolted upright in her bed. Her heart was racing uncontrollably. Her husband didn't seem disturbed by the sudden motion, but the baby beside her had roused and was starting to cry. Kotoko put a hand on her chest, and tried to massage the uncanny feeling out of her heart.