I had a good bulk of this chapter planned WAAAAY back when I decided Anora and Brain would be together for winter break. We're talking almost exactly 1,000 words. However, what happens between Ephemer and Anora was different then. Basically the opposite of what happens here. But that's only because I find a certain date would be better for just such an occasion, so I'm going to hold off until then.

Thank you for reading!

The empty homeroom was far too quiet for it to be natural. Or maybe there was just so much tension between the two of them that there were other noises, but their minds had tuned it out. Ephemer himself could barely breathe as he looked Anora over. Something about her was different. It felt like… confidence, but at the same time, it also felt like fear.

"Ephemer," Anora finally spoke- her voice low and almost pleading, "I want -need- to talk. And I need you to listen for all of five minutes. Can you do that for me?"

Anora took careful note of Ephemer's reaction. He looked like he was ready to pass out. In the back of her mind, she made a mental note to keep her phone close to her- just in case Ephemer stopped breathing or suddenly passed out.

Stuttering in a rasp, Ephemer agreed with a small, "S-sure."

That, alone, was already more than what Anora had been expecting. She let out a soft sigh in relief. When she looked up at him again, she was ready to tell Ephemer more about herself than she had anyone else. It already hurt just considering how she was going to start.

"My dad and my uncle are twins." she told him- her voice firm for now. "They did a lot of things together when they were growing up. They even got married on the same day. You should have seen the photos from my parents' wedding, Ephemer, they were beautiful. I've never seen my mom or Aunt Dawn look so lovely before. But there was one thing my uncle wanted that my dad did not; kids."

She took a moment to let it sink in. Admittedly, it took Ephemer a bit longer to process it than she thought. When he did, his face paled as he looked back at her.

"Kieran, my cousin, is 15 years older than I am. My mom didn't even think she could have kids when the doctor told her the news. I ruined their lives. I didn't even exist yet and I had ruined their lives. My dad and uncle got into a big fight, even years after they still didn't talk to each other like they used to. I was born too early, I almost died, and my parents knew how heartless it was to actually wish for it."

"They hated me when I came home. I cried and screamed all night. My dad and uncle were sent out to sea for their job, leaving my mom all alone. I kept her up so late and so often that she usually forgot to eat. If she hadn't called my aunt, we both would have died a week after Dad left."

"Aunt Dawn is the reason why I'm a well rounded learner, I think. She taught me so many different ways to express myself that I really didn't need to talk until I was seven. When I went to school for the first time, I faded into the shadows. I didn't make friends, I didn't try to stand out, I just did my work and went on with each day as if nothing was wrong about that. I don't think I was ever really happy then. If I wasn't at home with Mom, I was with Kieran and Aunt Dawn."

"But then something happened, Mom and Dad, they went missing in December last year. They just… went out to talk to a friend, or their lawyer, or something, and didn't come back. At first, I had hope that they would. So I waited a good day and a half. It wasn't abnormal for them to leave for a whole day. Sometimes they just did and trusted me to stay at home in the meantime. When I realized something was wrong, I called Aunt Dawn. But by then, the trail -if there ever was one- had gone cold. I had no choice but to move in with Aunt Dawn and Kieran."

Anora paused, looking off to the side a bit as she let her voice rest for a moment. She looked back at Ephemer, who had been crying for a solid minute now, before taking a deep breath in to finish her story.

"Do you want to know when I learned all of this? How my parents didn't expect to have me, and it ruined the relationship between my dad and uncle?" she asked him. A rhetoric, of course, but still a question. "It was three days before I got the acceptance letter in Daybreak. A week to the day after they went missing. Kieran told me. I never would have known that I wasn't expected, or that my parents had a hard time being parents at first. I thought I was loved. I thought I had a good life. But I was wrong. Before I was even born, I ruined lives. Even now, here at Daybreak Academy, I've ruined yours, and Skuld's, and Brain's, and Strelitzia's lives so much. You would all be so much happier without me. I don't… I don't get how you guys continue to be so… so nice when all I've done is make you suffer."

"Anora, you-"

The girl threw up her hand. "I'm not done." she insisted. "Just one more thing. While I screwed up your lives, I want to believe that it wasn't for the worse. Skuld may have died if you didn't send me to her dorm last year. Brain is ridiculously okay with being my other Kieran, and I love him for it. I need that assurance some times. Someone level headed who doesn't take sides- it's why I chose Brain after we split up. And while I may never love Strelitzia the way she loves me, I know that she will still have my back if I need it. I do love her, but in a much different way."

"And then there's you. You, who didn't even know me, decided to take me in the moment I gave you my name. You started to love me, and include me in everything you did, and like an idiot I followed you. I fell in love with you. Ephemer, please, I don't know how long our relationship will work. I don't know if it even can. But I know this- I want to try. And trying, especially when the pure idea of doing something new paralyzes you, is incredibly terrifying. But I'm willing to do it if you are. I can't… I can't keep going back and forth either. I made up my mind, but what about you?"

For a long time, Ephemer refused to respond. Then again, he wasn't even sure if he could. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, the first sounds that came out were almost strangled.

"Anora..." he croaked, "I… I do love you. I really, really love you. But I… I don't think I can be in a relationship right now." He paused. This hurt. His chest really hurt as he said it. He didn't want to, but at the same time, he couldn't pretend that he was ready. Not yet. "I'm sorry. I… I want us to be together. But I don't think I can..."

"I'm not going to wait for you."

Ephemer flinched, looking away from her in shame. "I wouldn't expect you to."

Anora also looked down at their feet, unsure of what else to do. It's not like she expected him to agree right away. But it was still an empty feeling in her chest she couldn't shake. She wouldn't wait for him- but that didn't mean that he didn't still hold a place in her heart. From here on out, Anora was going to take care of herself first.

She hesitated to do it for a moment, but Anora brought Ephemer in for a hug. It was a small one- almost like a promise. Ephemer quickly returned it with an even tighter squeeze.

"I love you, you moron." she mumbled into his shoulder.

"I love you too, you mute weirdo." he returned with a grin.

When they pulled away, that was when the sense of relief came over Anora. She left Ephemer to walk over to the door. After a precise rhythmic knocking (it sounded a lot like 'Shave and a Haircut.' How come he didn't think of that earlier?), the sound of the door unlocking came from the other side, and Anora walked out of the homeroom with a near sense of broken pride. Ephemer considered going after her for a moment, but then Skuld decided to casually lean on the door frame- effectively blocking him inside the room for a bit longer.

"Well?" she asked him with a raise of her eyebrow.

It took him a moment to realize what she was talking about. When it hit him, the weight of everything came crashing back down on Ephemer.

"I..." he tried to say, but faltered for awhile before finally saying, "I think I made a mistake."

His long time friend only raised an eyebrow as she folded her arms. "No fooling." she noted; her voice dripping with a dark sarcasm. "I told you she wasn't going to take you back that ea-"

"I denied her, Skuld."

Skuld froze. The look of surprise on her face was matched only her jaw nearly hitting the ground.

"Now," Ephemer then told him friend, "If you'll excuse me, I'm going back to my dorm to take a stress nap."

Skuld didn't object; instead numbly moving out of the way to let him pass.

Meanwhile, Anora made her way to the school's fountain. It was almost a relief to see that Brain, Lauriam and Strelitzia were waiting for her there. Brain was almost pacing as he waited. Lauriam and Strelitzia were having a conversation about nothing in particular as they also waited it out.

"How'd it go?" Brain asked as Anora came over to them. Strelitzia was up on her feet the moment he said it. Lauriam remained where he was, instead opting to look Anora over for signs of stress. It was their concern for her that suddenly brought her adrenaline down to nothing, and her fear for this moment exemplified with a vengance. Anora refused to look at them- her eyes trained to the ground, her lips pursed against each other, and her arms absently wrapped around her body in a tight hug.

The three waited, completely impatient, before Anora finally said, "Can we… go get some ice cream? I… I don't want to be on campus right now."

"I know a nice place in the town over." Lauriam offered as he got to his feet.

"You mean that place in Radiant Garden, right?" Brain spoke up. "You mind if we take a detour before then? There's this place that I think Razz would like."

"It's all up to her." Lauriam agreed with a nod. He looked to Anora with a kind smile. "Do you mind taking the trip? We might get back a little late, so it's all up to you Anora."

Anora looked between the three of them. It all sounded wonderful. The only thing missing was Kieran, Skuld, and…

"It sounds perfect." Anora agreed. "More than perfect. Thank you."

Peace but emptiness- that was how Anora felt. Did she still want Ephemer to be by her side? Sure. But they both still needed to grow. And, as Brain had said, this year would be the year of growth. She could feel it. It was a funny thing; the future scared her, but in her own way, she wasn't afraid at all. Peace but emptiness. It was a start, and it was one that Anora was going to take on no matter what.

Well, as the school motto proudly reminded her; may her heart be her guiding key.