Their minds immediately whirled in an overwhelming onslaught of memories. They each saw and felt everything from the perspective of the other, and they clung to each other tightly to anchor themselves, as if they might be blown away by the force of it all. Natasha felt how difficult it had been for Steve to leave her to hunt Darya on her own, and the sickening realization that she had been taken and tricked into opening the door of the panic room. She felt his heart harden, his determination not to let another woman he loved die. She watched in awe as he lost his temper over and over, getting violent with both Clint and Tony, frightening Wanda. The heartrending, soul sucking grief he felt when he thought she had been killed. He was a different man now, she realized. Harder, more ruthless, less black and white.

Steve's face crumpled in pain as he forced himself to see what Natasha had been through. Not only did he see her true memories, but also her false ones planted by Darya and Anka. His chest tightened as he watched himself stab Natasha and force her to watch as he killed Clint and his family. It was all he could do not to draw away from her, but he forced himself to watch on. He experienced all her confusion and rage, felt her hatred for him, he didn't blame her. The black anguish of waking to find she had stabbed and killed him, and her desperate desire for Bucky to finish the job as she stared down the barrel of his gun and saw only relief in it. He made a quick note to himself to thank his friend for ignoring her pleading.

Steve saw and bore it all, clinging to her to remind himself that she was fine, that they were safe. His heart stuttered when he realized that Natasha HAD died, her heart stopping there on the table. He buried his face in her hair. As the memories faded, Steve and Natasha found that they were sitting on the floor, arms and legs tangled together in a crushing embrace. Natasha slowly loosened her hold on him, taking a deep purposeful breath and resting her forehead on his. Steve took her face in his hands and they sat there for a moment in silence.

"I love you," Natasha whispered, placing one hand over his heart and his scar. The hair on Steve's arms stood up and he shivered, slowly pulling Natasha in for a slow, purposeful kiss. She responded eagerly, pressing herself closer as if they could merge into one person. An electric current seemed to run between them, giving them both goosebumps and speeding their pace. Steve stood abruptly, lifting her without breaking the kiss and dropping her onto the bed. He kissed her again, his weight settled heavily onto her, and tears pricked her eyes. She could hardly believe they were both alive, together, and so incredibly in love. But something nagged at the back of her mind, clearing her thoughts as she realized what she needed to do. Steve kissed down the side of her neck making her waver in her resolve, "Steve," she attempted, but it came out in a whisper and he didn't respond, only kissed down her shoulder, and then to her tattoo. "Steve," her voice cracked slightly but was louder this time. "Mmmf," he responded noncommittally, beginning to kiss lower…

In an instant she had flipped him to his back, and she straddled him, looking at him firmly. He stared up at her in surprise. She smiled despite herself, pressing her lips to his palm to soften the sting. "Steve," she said softly, "There's something I need to tell you before we… Well I just have one more memory to share with you." Steve sat up cautiously, running his hand over his face to regain his composure, "Sure Nat, what is it?" She looked into his eyes, her expression serious.

"When I died…" Steve grunted and turned away from her, but Natasha took his face into her hands, redirecting him back to her, "Steve, when I died there on the table, I saw something. I know you believe in God, and I never really have, what reason did I have to believe? I still don't know if I do now but… I want to show you what I saw." She had his attention, and he nodded, "Ok Nat, show me." Natasha opened her mind to him, and Steve stilled instantly. It was hard to put to words, but he saw a light brighter than any other he had seen. It pierced into his soul and lit every corner, no matter how dark. He felt how Natasha had shrunk away, afraid to be seen for who she was. The light seemed to sort through her life, rearranging her until all was in it's proper place. It seemed to regard her a moment more, not with judgement but with the deepest love. It held up a memory, a moment in her life, and Natasha had leaned in to see it clearly. It was the moment she had decided to do good. She looked at the memory, and then peered, squinty eyed into the light. It enveloped her, as if in an embrace, and she was overwhelmed with a feeling of love and a sense of being suddenly, and incomprehensibly sacred. And then it faded.

Natasha watched Steves face as he saw everything. He looked at her in awe. "Natasha…"

She played with the hem of his shirt, avoiding his gaze. "That sacred feeling… it comes back when I'm with you. Not as powerful as back then but still, I feel it. I think we were supposed to be together Steve. As if," she struggled around the word, "God… or whatever that was... wanted it this way." Steve gazed at her solemnly, raising her chin to meet her eyes. She took a deep breath, "Steve, I feel like being with me has made you harder, it's taken a toll on you." Steve made to object but Natasha put her hand on his mouth, "No it's true, I saw it for myself. I want to be a good influence on you, and encourage you to be the best man you can be. Steve the peace I felt… I want to give that to you, I want to give myself to you, and I want it to be sacred, dramatically different from the men I've been with in the past." Her face flushed red, and Steve's eyes widened. He gently touched her face, "Nat. What is it you want?"

She looked at him and gave him a timid smile, "Will you marry me? Can we do this the old fashioned way?" Steve's face was radiant, and he pulled her into a crushing hug. HE drew away, "Are you sure? I don't want you to do this because you think I'm old fashioned."

Natasha laughed, "You ARE old fashioned, though you were doing a pretty good job umm compromising just a minute ago." She grinned at him impishly, giving him a wink.

He laughed, "I'm old fashioned, I'm not a saint."

"Fair enough."

"But seriously Nat. this is what you want? And you want to.. Uhhh.. wait? For everything?"

Natasha smiled but nodded seriously, "The only way I can give you something I've never given another man and never will, is to marry you first. It will be the start of a new era, for both of us."

Steve was at a loss for words, he just smiled and squeezed her hands.

"Which means…" she leaned in slowly and pecked him on the lips, "You should probably go back to your room for the night."

Steve blinked, "Really?" She nodded, "I'm new to being old fashioned. I refuse to mess this up."

Steve smiled and stood up, and Natasha walked him to the door. "Will you be ok? No nightmares?"

She shook her head, "I doubt it, not tonight." He kissed her once more in the doorway, making her head swim. He smiled at her and turned to go, she watched as he walked down the hallway to his room.

"Steve?"

He turned.

"Leave your connection open?"

He smiled, "Always."