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Weep not poor children
For life is this way

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Staring at the sundial as he had for the past several days, Inuyasha couldn't bring himself to do much more than just sit there. The thought of running for weeks was suffocatingly overwhelming and trying to calculate how much time had passed in the living world was making his head hurt. It would be easier to accept that he'd just gone insane - whether from the spell or a constant state of being since his mother left was still unclear. It didn't help that the chief of staff kept sending the fake Kagome to check on him and more than ever he regretted suggesting she be put into the selection. God, what if she won? He'd be stuck with this awful woman forever. Or until she died. Not that he'd murder her or anything but the life expectancy of this day and age wasn't the best. Sometimes even cuts were lethal.

That's part of why he worried himself sick over the real Kagome during battle. Humans were so fragile and he could lose her without ever even trying. Which ultimately ended up being true and technically he had tried to push her away in an active attempt to lose her but that was a choice. He had control over how and why she slipped through his fingers. Kagome...Kagome was more than he could ever hope to be in every possible way and she made him feel like...like maybe he could be something more. That he could be...but that was the problem. If they were together like he desperately wanted to be, he'd only drag her down. Maybe even kill her one day without meaning to. He didn't have control over his life or even his mind. One day he could turn into a full demon, which he did terrifyingly often, and just straight up murder her. And she'd stay like she always did and probably be smiling when he skinned her alive.

He liked having a choice...

But now he wished he'd made a different one. Kagome always managed to snap him out of his transformations. Always knew just what to do or say. But that could have just be a hallucination. In a world where almost everyone was afraid of him or thought he was a monster, creating a woman who loved...

Inuyasha let out a low groan as he ran one hand across his mouth. Well that was just the cherry on top wasn't it? To realize just how true that statement had been. He was man enough to admit mistakes were made. Whether Kagome actually existed or not was immaterial. He loved someone who had loved him back and that was worth everything including sanity

Sighing shakily, Inuyasha heard one of the elders approaching but couldn't find the energy to address him.

"They tell me you've been running a fever," the old man accused gently before glancing at the sundial Inuyasha was vacantly observing, "That you've been acting strangely."

The half-demon didn't comment.

"You have also refused to have the healer examine you. To provide you with care."

Again no response other than a wheezy sounding sigh.

"The candidates arrive tomorrow. Perhaps we should postpone the tasks," the old man pressed before shaking his head and moving to stand between the hanyou and the object he was currently obsessed with, "If need be I will have the priest place a sutra on your back and drag you to the healer myself. As lord of this land you have an obligation to stay well and you're refusing to do so."

"I'm fine," Inuyasha finally sighed evasively as he averted his eyes.

"There are illnesses of the mind as well," the elder added hesitantly, "Perhaps it would be wise to go on a visit to the countryside for a few days. Enjoy the scenery."

Growling low in his throat, Inuyasha was this close to just punching this man in the face. Sure, he had been a little under the weather but it wasn't anything concerning. Uncomfortable maybe but not worrisome. Except, you know, that he hadn't been ill since last time he'd been here. Or thought he'd been here anyway. Since he'd been forced back, it seemed like he got sick every couple of months. A cold here. A stomach bug there. Mother used to make him medicine so often he knew the recipe like the back of his hand. Even after all this time.

But he wasn't motivated to get better. There didn't seem to be a point. He was miserable whether he was sick or not. Might as well have an excuse.

"I would much prefer if you recover before the next new moon," the old man sighed heavily as he sat down beside his lord on the small wooden bench, "These types of things may not be concerning for a demon but for a human they can be very troublesome."

Setting his jaw, Inuyasha gave the old man a side-eyed glare. This elder had always been weirdly concerned about him - even when he was small and Mother was alive. Gone out of his way to arrange for tutors. Would bring him toys. Of everyone here, he was the only one who didn't treat him like dirt - well before all this nonsense anyway. When Mother...when Mother had died and he was being hunted, it was this old man who'd helped him escape. Who saw a frightened grieving child instead of an irredeemable monster and comforted him. It confused him then and it confused him now. It wasn't like Inuyasha was deaf. People still feared him but at least now they acknowledged he was an asset instead of a liability. Some even treated him with kindness but that was only because he was their security blanket. No one had been stupid enough to challenge him after he'd allegedly beat them into submission when he first 'ascended' and everyone here slept better at night due to his presence.

The council, though, saw him as a way to permanently secure the future of these lands. Which could truly only be done if a heir was produced. If they knew who to contact, Inuyasha had no doubt that it'd be demon women coming tomorrow instead of humans. The elders had made it blatantly obvious in the last few days that he needed to make sure his future children had as much demonic power as himself. Like he had any way of controlling that.

Besides he wasn't even sure whether he was alive or not. Would this world allow him to have children? Now that he was thinking about the prospect, his heart ached a little at the realization that having children was actually something he wanted and now regretted not having. It was too late for that now anyway, wasn't it? The only person he'd want to have kids with probably wasn't even real. Kagome and her smiles and her love never existed. Where that left him Inuyasha had no clue. The thought of trying to have kids with literally anyone else made him nauseous but that was what they expected him to do.

"If it'll get you to stop bitching, I'll see the healer in the morning," Inuyasha mumbled in a clear dismissal, "Just leave me for the time being."

"Language," the elder chided good-naturedly as he got to his feet with a pain laced groan, "Very well. In the meantime, I will arrange to have the tasks delayed by a few days. Give you some time to recover."

Shrugging indifferently, Inuyasha's eyes once again landed on the sundial. There was still the possibility he wasn't insane, that he wasn't dead, which is what he'd been trying to convince himself over the course of the past week. Maybe it was all just a timing issue. He could only try to escape at certain times. Dawn or midnight or whatever.

They'd talked for five minutes. So if a year was an hour that would mean...

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Over the past week, Kagome had learned many things. It didn't take all that much effort to get Inuyasha's background. Or rather, a very distorted borderline cruel interpretation of his background that had her wondering how much this father of hers actually loved his daughter. About ten years ago, Inuyasha's mother had been assassinated by her brother - the then Lord - and in this timeline, Inuyasha had then killed his uncle and took over the throne. That was one version of events. The other was that both Inuyasha's mother and his uncle had been assassinated and Inuyasha held off a coup by himself. Then, of course, there was the obviously untrue version where Inuyasha ate his mother and the former Lord to increase his strength then used said strength to claim his rightful place as lord.

All of it seemed rather odd regardless of which story was true, if any. Inuyasha never talked about where he was from or how his mother died. The only other thing she knew was that his mother died when he was very, very young. While some kids hit their growth spurts later than others, Kagome seriously doubted Inuyasha had been more than five or six judging by the amount of adorable baby fat he'd been sporting. Maybe this entire world was just one big round of revisionist history or a warped attempt to make amends.

It seemed Inuyasha-centric. Everything tailored to make him happy. To do right by him. Which got her thinking. Maybe, just maybe, this curse or spell or what have you was brought about because of what had been done to him and his mother. Punish the perpetrators by banishing them to some alternate universe.

But that made no sense. Who would be angry enough to curse an entire land? Inuyasha didn't have the ability and if he did, he'd never told her. Sesshomaru was obviously out - although he theoretically had motive. He didn't have the ability to send people to alternate universes. Totosai and Myoga were out. As far she could tell Myoga's primary skill was knowledge and Totosai made weapons. Who would be pissed enough to punish an entire land? Who was powerful enough? Certainly it had to be someone she never met. Probably because they lived in some cloud city and floated around changing universes whenever it suited them like a god or something. Maybe it was just a a coincidence that these people had been banished here. But then why all the pageantry? Why act like being banished never happened? Whomever had done this had a bone to pick or else just saw an opportunity to shape a world to their liking. Saw some humans doing a fellow demon wrong and 'fixed' it.

Which was stupid. All of this was stupid.

Letting out a calming breath, Kagome leaned out of her palanquin window to look up at the palace sitting pretty atop the hill. What was going to do if Inuyasha didn't remember her? Go through this entire selection process on the off chance she get selected. She had seen some of the other women as they were getting off their horses into their own fancy boxes and if it was a looks contest, she had already lost.

What if Inuyasha remembered everything and didn't want to leave? That was a terrible albeit horrifyingly likely possibility. To say that this building was a fortress would be an understatement. At least three times bigger than when they'd found in back in the normal world, that castle was the most ornate thing she'd ever seen. I mean come on! Why were there gold turrets? Who thought that was a good idea, huh? Might as well put a target on your back and a note saying rob me. Well, except that Inuyasha was definitely strong enough to quash any potential uprisings or attempts at a coup or even an elaborate heist.

In any case, the borderline offensive display of wealth had her wondering whether this this Inuyasha's style. Just gaudy and over the top and...

Kagome winced slightly at the thought that maybe this was what Inuyasha liked and he just never could afford it. Didn't think he deserved it. She'd always taken him as a minimalist but that might've just been out of necessity. Score one for fake illusion world. It had her there. Even though she'd tried to give him the moon if he asked for it, she'd never in a million years be able to afford golden embellishments. Even Bill Gates might have a hard time justifying them. How rich was Inuyasha's family anyway? This was just obscene.

Swallowing thickly, Kagome slowly retracted her head and settled back into her cushy ride. The only silver lining so far was that it was kinda fun being carried around in a norimono. Not many people from her time could say they'd done that. Not many in this time either. So...so that was something good that came out of this mess. A fun memory if Inuyasha did want to stay here forever.

"Lady Hana of Clan Uda?" she heard a new voice ask authoritatively, "There is a change of plan. The Lord is feeling unwell. Commencement tasks will be delayed for three days time."

Kagome's eyes bugged and before she could stop the sudden uncontrollable urge, she leaned her head out the window.

"Question. When is the next new moon?"

The middle aged man gave her a curious look as he took a few steps closer and gave her an appraising look that quickly turned into full on suspicion. Kagome blanched. Mistakes had been made. Why had she even asked that? It was just popped out of her mouth like word vomit. No prompting. No context. Just straight up asked like that was a normal thing to say.

And it struck her as strange that such a sentence decided to leave her mouth in the first place. She couldn't control it. Was this how the spell got her or was she really just that dumb?

"Get out," the man hissed as he thrust open the carriage door and nearly drug her onto the ground, "And come with me."

"My lady..."

"Lady Hana no longer your concern," the man snarled, "She's a property of the lord now."

Completely confused and borderline terrified, Kagome barely managed to keep up as the angry looking official continued forcing her towards the castle. In hindsight, asking that question (which where did that even come from?!) was a mistake. Of course Inuyasha would still be keeping his human night under wraps. While this guy obviously knew what was up, maybe it was his job to make sure the secret stayed that way. There would be no way for Inuyasha to know she was in danger. No magical last minute appearance. Her scent was probably as different as her face.

Trying to stay calm, Kagome distracted herself from her impending death by identifying the various buildings Inuyasha and she had passed through on their way to this godforsaken place. Oh look, there was the great hall in all its glory and gee the courtyard and wow that had been a moat near the...

Stumbling and falling to her knees as the man thrust her onto the ground, Kagome trembled and awaited whatever fresh hell was about to unfold. It barely occurred to her that they were a stones throw away from the stupid garden that'd trapped them here.

"The bitch knows," the official snarled and she heard a confused sound by a heartbreakingly familiar voice. Kagome inhaled sharply and hesitantly raised her eyes. Even when faced with the irony of Inuyasha sentencing her to death or imprisonment, she couldn't help but admire how handsome he was in his new get up. Hair pulled back, dark navy robes and a shockingly confident pose really did wonders. Although he did look a little green around the gills and his cheeks were slightly flushed. Was he really sick? That was unusual. Inuyasha never got sick.

"Knows what?" the half-demon sighed hoarsely as he gave the official an extremely exasperated look, "If she knows something of value, take her to the council. I'm in no...no..."

Trailing off, Inuyasha's agitated gaze had finally landed on her face.

And Kagome smiled despite herself. Stupid man made it so hard to not smile at him. With his stupid cute face. He was going to be the death of her. Probably sooner rather than later but what a way to go.

"What does she know?" Inuyasha asked barely louder than a whisper as he whipped his eyes back up towards the general.

"When I informed her the selection would be postponed on account of your health, she asked whether it was due to the impending new moon," the guard snarled angrily, "It is suspicious at best and..."

"That wasn't what I asked. I just asked when the next one was" Kagome hissed sarcastically as she desperately tried to dig herself out of this hole. Feigning ignorance seemed a good way to save her skin, "What? I'm not allowed to ask questions?"

"Just shut up woman," Inuyasha muttered under his breath before turning his attention back to his guard, "Leave. I'll deal with the girl."

"But...but my Lord..."

"I said leave. Why don't you people ever listen?" Inuyasha snarled angrily as he pointed in a seemingly vague direction, "I'll handle this"

"This is out of the question. The selection has already needed to be postponed on account of your health and leaving you alone with a would be assassin..."

"I am more than capable of defending myself if she is an assassin. I'm not on my death bed," Inuyasha scoffed as he let out a shuddering breath, "Now go."

While a tense standoff followed that demand, Kagome couldn't help but notice the ways Inuyasha's hands trembled as he waited. His breathing was visibly irregular and he was noticeably paler than he had been when she first saw him. Ah hell Inuyasha was actually sick, wasn't he? Poor baby but trying to fuss over him, as she desperately wanted to do, would be a bad decision right now. First off, he didn't know who the hell she was and might not even remember the person she used to be. Second...

Realizing that she was openly staring, Kagome quickly averted her eyes - his fingers digging into the dirt as she tried to prepare herself for the a worst case scenario. All of this would never have happened if she'd just kept her mouth shut. Why had she even asked that? It just slipped out before she could stop it. The one secret Inuyasha had always been hell bent on keeping to himself. The one thing that was probably still a secret here in this world. Surely the reason he seemed so frazzled and the guard so perturbed was because by all outward apperances, this random girl knew about the significance of the new moon. Plus he was already sick, which was alarming on so many levels...

She might as well kiss her head goodbye.

Letting out a controlled exhale, Inuyasha knelt down until he was eye level with her.

"You shouldn't be afraid," he chided gently before letting out a soft shuddering breath, "Will...will you look at me again?"

Sighing heavily, the miko sat back and tried to meet his disbelieving gaze. For a moment he searched her face, a strangled smile playing on his lips - his eyes swimming with some unidentifiable emotion.

"K-Kagome?"