I framed those photos and placed them alongside the photos of Nui and I. Not too long after we had dug around the attic, I pulled up a chair by the window and found myself sitting there in what spare time. I never knew why I was sitting there, just the fact that I was and, as I should note, I was melancholic. What memories I had of my parents were bitter ones and they often eluded me.

In regards of what happened to Ryuuko and Rei, I felt guilt. I blamed myself as to why either of those things happened to them but more for Ryuuko. Older sister are supposed to act as second mothers and protect their younger sisters and, for the Mistress to have abused her like that and kept her locked away, I felt as though I didn't do an adequate job of protecting her. It would be insane to have wished to have traded places with her, so she could have had what would constitute a normal life.

Of course, I find it odd that one wouldn't wish they could trade their lives, no matter how normal, for someone who was made to live in the dark, in a cage, hidden from the world, and subjected to merciless abuse and neglect. If trading places meant saving her from the abuse and neglect she suffered, then I would have gladly traded places.

In the note of Rei, I wished I could have prevented her suicide. I oft wondered if I had missed any signs that pointed to that being her end. I recall her being depressed and anxious but she never mentioned anything about wanting to go out the way she did. If I had noticed, then I could reassured her and talked her out of it. Thinking back to when she died, I wondered if she changed her mind and wanted to turn back but the ambulance came too late. I remembered how her diary said she used to watch the sunset and how it gave her some comfort, yet she never knew why.

The image of her watching the sunset is wistful and melancholic one and I remembered how much she suffered, especially since she took a beating just for extending a kind hand. Quietly, I felt her there, watching over my shoulder, and, frankly, I wanted her back.

In thinking about Rei, Ryuuko, and my memories, I was brought back to my memories as a child. The memory that came up was how I was five years old and chasing dandelion seeds that were blowing in the wind. I was trying to catch them, yet I don't know why. I suppose my memories were like the dandelion seeds I was trying to catch and how desperately I fought to reclaim them.

That memory with the dandelion seeds was also a memory with my father in it. I just remember that he was smiling right alongside me as I chased those dandelion seeds. It was wistful to recall something I had thought I'd forgotten long ago. Said memory, while remembered, was fragmented in that, prior to finding those photographs in the attic, I didn't recall very much of what my father looked like, let alone what his voice sounded like.

I was brought out of my recollections and thoughts by Aikuro greeting me with an, "I know what you're thinking." I was intrigued as to how he could have known, then again, eyes are gateways to the soul or, rather, someone's thought processes. "You're remembering the past and some of the not so happy aspects." he said, pulling up a chair.

"I suppose."

"Does that explain why you've been melancholic as of late, for the last few days?"

"Yes, it does. I'm melancholic because of many things but I suppose what makes me melancholic is the fact that some things are lost."

"Lost?"

"Do you remember anything about my father and mother? I mostly remember that my father left and didn't come back and I just remember our mother's cruelty."

"Hmm, interesting question. Well, being that we're cousins, you'd think we would have kept in touch more often after he got married but we hadn't, however, he did tell me about Nui and you and our correspondence was spent about him talking about you two. As for your mother, I haven't quite met her, so I can't describe who she was before she became cruel but your father did say she was beautiful, though, I couldn't tell if he was talking about her looks or her personality."

"I see, so, my memories remain lost."

"How so?"

"I realized I don't have much recollection of my parents. Earlier, I was remembering when I was chasing dandelion seeds."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I was five years old and I was chasing dandelion seeds. My father was also in that memory and, as I remembered, I realized that, up until now, I realized I never quiet knew him or my mother."

"I suppose so. I take it you were quite young when your dad left and you've hardly interacted with your mother enough but, then again, her treatment of you, left you afraid of her. Anywho, how old were you when your Dad left?"

"I don't recall. He left and never came back and, prior to that, we hardly ever saw him."

"I see. Do you remember your mother before that?"

"Not quite, I just remember that she was distant and that, after our father left, she became this even more so."

"Hmm, I see."

"I wish I could have traded places with her."

"Huh?"

"Ryuuko. I wish I could have traded places with her."

"Mmm, I see. The past and your circumstances, as I can tell, has not been kind to you and, obviously, there is some psychological hold on you especially. If you let that hold keep its grip, you're going to be stuck chasing dandelion seeds for the rest of your life."

"..."

"Yes, as the older sister who wants very much to protect her younger sister, I can see why you'd with very much wish you had switched places with Ryuuko, as, in an obvious way, she got the worst end of the stick, then again, neither you or Nui were treated any better as your mother was not only distant, she was psychologically abusive and controlled your lives to such an extent that you were practically conditioned to accept her or her secretary's explanations. Along that line, your father's sudden absence has affected you all so profoundly that you can't recall too much else about him or how old you were or what year it was when he left. No, it's not wrong to know more about your parents and wish you could have saved Ryuuko from the abuse, at the same time, you have to think about now, not then, now, as she's happy, healthy, and clearly thriving now, receiving the kind of love and care your mother didn't give her. My point is that you can't do this to yourself."

As we talked, I had to take time to register that Ryuuko had climbed into my lap and threw her arms around my neck. Aikurou looked at her and said, "She's missed you." He then went on to state that I was in a self-imposed prison and that being in said self-imposed prison would cause me to lose sight of what is important and that what was important are my sisters, as they are all I really have.