Born in Chaos - Part 1
I figured I'd make one of these biography things since they are all the rage these days. Get my story out there or whatever. My name is Kaiden Kellas. I'm a Human male. Also a Hunter. Pretty unremarkable, I guess. I was resurrected at some point, don't remember the date. It's irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
Life was never easy for me.
Waking up for the first time as a Guardian was… an experience. My Ghost resurrected me behind a rock in the middle of a gunfight. Figures, he was never very subtle. I gasped to life in a state of utter confusion. It's one thing to wake up in a war zone, it's another thing entirely to have no memory of who you are or why you're even there in the first place. I looked at the Ghost who was just staring back at me. He paused and then simply said "get up." I only had a second to process what was happening before bullets started flying over my head. I was already in armor, luckily, but the helmet had a giant hole which had shattered the visor. At least I have the benefit of knowing how I died in my first life.
There was a gun next to me so I picked it up and started shooting at everyone who was shooting at me. I had no idea what side I was on but they sure seemed to know. It was Eliksni and there was this Vandal who looked at me like he was witnessing a pig fly. Maybe he was the one who killed me? Well, if so, he got to do the honors twice. I tried to fight him hand to hand after I ran out of bullets and he killed me again. Damn Eliksni and their four arms. I was brought back by my Ghost right in front of this Vandal. He just rolled his eyes and mumbled something before I paid him back in kind. Sad way to go, really. By all accounts he rightfully won that battle, poor bastard.
Eventually things settled and I had a chance to talk to this Ghost of mine. He told me his name was Baldur and that I was what they call a Guardian. He suggested I head to this place called the Tower because there were others like me there. Given my mental state at the time, being in a place with a ton of other people I don't even know was the last thing I wanted to do. So I ignored him. Baldur followed me, though. I told him to leave me alone and of course he didn't. Looking back, I know I should have been nicer to him. I'm a hard person to get along with but he didn't seem to care about my shortcomings. He protected me before I even knew what he was.
He was a good friend.
After a few weeks I finally made my way to the Tower. I hated it at first. Too many people for my liking. I kept to myself, avoided groups, and spent most of the time alone. It worked for awhile. People kept trying to get me to join their fireteams or whatever but I was honestly just overwhelmed by it all. I'd realize later that this was all based on some kind of anxiety disorder I didn't know I had at the time. Anyway, Lord Shaxx eventually convinced me to go into the Crucible and I begrudgingly obliged. That one match changed my life.
Somewhere between being killed over and over I hid in a vent in the back of the arena. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, I was shaking. I actually thought I was dying. Out of nowhere there was a hand holding mine. The hand was connected to an Awoken woman with pink hair and bright, white eyes. She didn't say anything at first, just held my hand and sat with me in the vent as the Guardians outside continued murdering each other. I calmed down after a few minutes and this woman invited me back to the Tower for a drink. I never forget that stupid heroic expression on her face. I loved it.
She was some big shot in the Tower but she was down to Earth; she made me feel comfortable. Everyone knows Elika Valerys but not like I know her. She was like a sister to me. We teamed up a lot and through her I met other Guardians and eventually we became quite the fireteam. Hell, we took down Crota and Oryx together. We ventured into the Black Garden together and killed Ghaul together too. We were legends.
Things were going well but then I fucked it all up. Everything changed when we went to the Keep of Voices to defeat Riven. I was weak and Riven preyed on that. She put ideas in my head and I thought they were my own. Hell it wasn't until recently that I realized how bad it was. After a year of being angry and pushing everyone away I came to terms with the fact that everything I said back then was a lie. I was never mad at Elika. Ever. I just… I can't explain it. I won't blame it all on the Ahamkara, though. I know it was still me making these choices. I was the one who shot Elika in the back. I was the one who betrayed her trust. I was the one who killed our relationship.
In losing her I lost everyone else. My girlfriend left me, I lost most of my Guardian privileges at the Tower, and earned a black mark on my name. No one would ever trust me again. I was alone and honestly it was entirely my fault. The only friend I had was Baldur and it was clear by then that even he was disappointed in me. From there everything kind of spiraled downhill for a while.
I spent most of my time running with degenerates in the Tangled Shore. Resorted to doing raw Ether to numb the pain of living. I ended up making quite the reputation for myself there as a renegade Guardian who was willing to dip his feet in the pool of all that was dark and dirty. Life outside of the Tower, away from other Lightbearers, always suited me better anyway. People there respected me and I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel damn good for a time. Baldur was angry with me, he made it apparent every chance he got. Somewhere down the line he stopped nagging me and started helping. I guess he resigned himself to this life, like I had. It just took him longer. I wish I could have offered him a more dignified life like most other Guardians. He really did pick the sorriest son of a bitch to resurrect.
It was a hard time. I antagonized Elika every chance I got. I thought I was angry with her for being a Hero, for stealing my spotlight, which of course wasn't true. Just Riven talking. I think what really bothered me was that I had lost everything and couldn't seem to reconcile with the fact that it was my fault. So I blamed her and tried to make her life hell just so she'd know how I felt. It was horrible and I regret every second of it. She kicked my ass in a Trials one on one because I wouldn't back down. She wanted answers after the match but I shut down. I lied just to get her away from me. I don't know why I did it but I didn't know what to say at that point. I had the chance to reconnect with her I think but I fucked up again. Story of my life.
After that I did something even more idiotic than turning my back on Elika. I caught wind that some big shot Shadow of Yor wanted me on his crew. Now, I'm not that stupid so I never planned to actually join him. But I thought maybe I could glean some information from the man and maybe report it back to the Vanguard. Seemed like a decent plan at the time and would have given me an excuse to talk to Elika again. Sadly, it didn't pan out. Shin Malphur, curse him, only sees in black and white. As soon as he heard I was running with the Shadows there was a target on my back and that jackass moves fast.
He found me in a matter of days and he didn't give a shit about my plan or any explanation I could muster. He just… He killed Baldur. Grabbed him out of the air and stabbed him. I felt it. The knife pierced Baldur's eye and I felt it in my own chest. I don't really remember what happened next. I remember falling to the ground, I thought I was having a heart attack or something, and then I think I ran. Next thing I remember was waking up in some secluded cave out in the middle of nowhere. I felt empty. It was such an odd feeling because I have been down before, but not like this. Baldur's absence killed me. Everything hurt and I didn't know why. I was truly alone.
I ended up finding a way to contact Elika. I initially wanted it to be Lucinia, my ex, but I was afraid to have her see me like this. I still love her and I know she probably thinks I'm an asshole. She's not wrong. I just… It needed to be Elika. The message had to be bounced around some satellites or some shit. The Eliksni who helped me was trying to explain it but I'm not exactly fluent in their language and all that technical talk is lost on me even in common tongue. It took a couple of days but of course she showed. Elika found me in that cave and pulled me back to the Light. Once again she saved my life. She even got Malphur off my back somehow. I'll never be able to make it up to her but that won't stop me from trying to do so for the rest of my life.
I'm now a Guardian without a Ghost.
I miss him. Sometimes my chest will start hurting again like it did when he died. I kept his shell. It's cleaned up and displayed in my apartment now. I got a job at a swanky restaurant in the Last City. I guess I'm just trying to work on myself right now. I know that probably sounds cheesy but it's the best I can do.
*there is an audible knock coming from the background of the recording.*
Shit, someone's at the door. Who is it?
*Recording paused*