Mentally, I found myself going onto yet another path of self-destruction, the which was triggered when Nonon said that Ryuuko was a "pretty baby", not one that someone would hide, rather, one that someone would proudly show off. It sounded almost mocking, as our baby sister wasn't proudly shown off, instead, she was locked away, like something that one wasn't supposed to see.

I thought I would have not wanted to search for more secrets but I found myself wanting justice in some way.

It was wishful thinking, as the Mistress had passed away, taking whatever she knew to the grave. Some part of me remained bitter over that, even though, on her deathbed, she redeemed herself. She couldn't atone and no amount of time will wash away what was done. However, I wished she had left some clues as to what she had known for the longest and that she hadn't treated her like in the first place.

As said before, no amount of time will wash that away. At least, Ryuuko has people that love her more so than what our mother never did.

In photographs, we had seen a side of the Mistress we never even thought possible. She seemed so kind and loving then, in way that she reverted back to as she died. I mostly remember her as a cold and distant woman, who would kill with so much as split-second glare in one's direction.

There was a hardly anything maternal about her that I could recall and I don't recall her giving us any hugs, pettings, or kisses, anything in which to show that she loved us.

Sweetly, I should note, Ryuuko seemed to have directed those in which I mentioned towards us, her sisters and Aikurou, however, her kisses are a little wet. In thinking of that, I can never grasp what could have turned the Mistress into something cruel.

I couldn't help but to wonder what on earth the Mistress wanted to forget that our baby sister reminded her of. Obviously, we shared the same two set of parents, as Ryuuko looks too much like us for us to only have shared one parent, after all, we have the same face, eyes, and just about everything else, so, there is no way for the Mistress to have conceived her during an adulturous tryst, however, there is no ruling out that she may have had such a fling around the time of her conception.

Perhaps, our baby sister being the secret was what caused my parents' marriage to collapse. Secrets never did good between a bonded couple and giving birth to and keeping a third child locked away in secret is no exception, of course, I suppose their marriage was already failing and Ryuuko being the Mistress' secret was what had sealed it.

Ryuuko, in what recollections she had, remembered and stated that he wasn't abusive to her, so he interacted with her. I could probably assume that he died trying to find a way to rescue us but I'll never know.

Frankly, I wanted to scream and the comment made me catatonic, rendering me to stare through something, not at it. It was like the world had turned into just a white void. I had some things I'd like to forget and a faliure that tore away at my very being. I won't deny, Ryuuko is beautiful and, if she wasn't so shy, along with being most terrified of many things, she would have been quite rather proudly shown off. I would like to imagine how that would have been if she was proudly shown off and treated like she should have been versus being treated like a dirty secret.

I was shocked out of my catatonia by Nui shaking me. She asked me if I was alright to which I said that I was, lying. However, I needn't lie and, apparently, when it comes to Nui, I am a terrible liar. She knew I wasn't alright, however, she didn't know what was the matter and simply thought I was sick, saying, "I'll ask Aikurou to get you some medicine." I don't know what she thought but she probably figured I wasn't feeling well. I didn't argue with her or protest even as she placed a hand on my forehead. Ryuuko doesn't know very much, however, she was just as concerned, asking, "Mam?" She climbed into my lap, near frantic until I stroked her wispy hair.

The motion was comforting, yet, it was also one she mimicked, hoping it would have the same effect. For her sake, I feigned comfort but I won't deny that it was soothing. It calmed her and she went about her business, however, she would return moments later, repeating what she had done before. She knew I wasn't being myself and wasn't responding well. I tried feigning comfort but she wouldn't be sated. Her petting my hair turned into gripping my clothes like a scared infant, saying, "Be okay, be okay!"

Her behaviour attracted the attention of Houka, Gamagoori, and Uzu, the last of whom said, "Uh, Nonon, maybe you might want to be more mindful of...what you say." Justifiably, Nonon was confused, stating that she wasn't intending it to be insulting, rather, it was supposed to be a compliment, which wasn't hard to see. However, the others began to chime in.

"People give each other compliments all the time, look at her, Ryuuko was very pretty as a baby. Who would want to hide her?"

"Yes, yes, we know that's a compliment, as intended, but, um, in relation to Ryuuko, a compliment can open up a door to a bitter memory."

"Huh?"

"Well, yes, Ryuuko is pretty, downright precious, however, she didn't lead a life that a normal child should have. Remember, Shiro knows something about her but he was afraid of their mother, afraid that she would come after him."

Gamagoori had a more philisophical approach to the matter, saying, "Sometimes, there just aren't enough rocks." His metaphor was confusing and it was a long silence before he would elaborate, saying, "Well, you can find all the rocks in the world and use them to destroy the windows and this house and you'd still find yourself running out of them, which is to say, you'd be wanting more answers to the questions that never end and you would probably run out of answers to them."

By this point, Ryuuko was gripping onto my clothes tighter than before, so tight that she had nicked me few times with her nails. I took that she also wanted to be protected from unseen dangers as, the moment Nui reached for her, she let go and climbed into her arms, gesturing to me along the way.

"She's worried about you. She can't articulate that pretty well but it's very clear that she is worried. Yeah, she's had a lot snatched away from her and, while she doesn't quite know it, she does understand that's what happened but she wasn't the only have had a normal life snatched away from her, as the same's happened to you and Nui but mostly you. Sure, I understand that the ache of all that has happened must be particularly painful for you, doubly so, since you are the oldest sister but you can't dwell on that too much. Yes, your father died and, yes, it seems, Ryuuko wasn't born in happy times, then again, if that was the case, do you really want to start digging around in that area? If anything, I don't recommend that you do, as that will bring more heartache and, if anything else, might drive you to mental illness. Likewise, in the case of your father and his demise, frankly, I think some secrets are better left buried. I mean Ryuuko's happy and healthy now, sure, she's stunted in some areas but she's happy, healthy, learning, and thriving under the case her sisters and Aikurou are giving her in the place of her mother who damn well should have. Fact of this being is that you're alive, you're still here, and you cannot keep beating yourself up. You have to do what your mom and Rei couldn't and that's to move on and find peace." he said, leaving behind a long silence behind.

His words were powerful and cut deeper than any sort of blade. I suppose there weren't enough rocks and, as much as I wanted to, I knew burning this house to the ground wouldn't solve anything. I was taken by it and forced myself to ponder the information, however, while I was pondering, Uzu spoke up, "Abusers need no explanation." It was simple, however, he seemed to have made a point but he opted to make a much larger point.

He made this point by saying, "Abusers need no explanation. She abused her children and she gave no reasons, whatever those were. If you're going to give your mother any credit for anything, it would be that she died admitting that she was wrong and admitted that she couldn't atone. Frankly, ya' could admire her for that as she died knowing she was wrong and made peace with the fact. Fact is, she doesn't need an explanation. She did what she did and there is no changing that. In that vein, like Gama, I'd hate to imagine how your father died and I can hope the truth isn't much worse than I would probably think it to be. Likewise, I'd hate to picture what Iori saw in that basement but, after thinking about it, I can't unsee it. I like how she is now, versus then. If Ryuuko reminded her of something that she wanted to forget, well, then leave that buried, as, if she wanted to forget something, then leave that where it is, as, if you found out what she wanted to forget, then, well, odds are, you're going to wish you had never found it out and try to forget it as well."

They had told me they were very concerned and Nui would inform Aikurou of what went on. Later that night, Ryuuko couldn't sleep and spent a good time bawling and whimpering, before opting to come into my room. It seemed she wanted to be comforted, at first, but it was actually the opposite. She climbed into bed, before petting my hair and clinging to me tightly. She would do this until sleep overtook her in the morning.

Authoress Note: Sorry about the late update, ya'll.~Amoridere