First, a quick message from me: Hi! If you're wondering why I'm not putting too much effort into character descriptions etc, it's because actual fanart pics and various other bits of useful information relating to the world of I, Kira can be found on the I, Kira section of the Death Note fanon wikia. I encourage you all to check it out, and even to add to it if you see anything important in here that isn't on the wikia. Also, I didn't think I'd need to say this at first but please leave a comment on what you think about this so far. This is my first ever FanFic so I really want/need feedback. Also it would confirm to me that the 500 or so views I've gotten over the last month-and-a-bit are views from real people.

(Chris' POV)

Good, he's still following me. He's not even hiding it very well. It's convenient that I see out the back of my head for no explicable reason.

'Chris!'

'What?'

'I can fly.'

'Yes, Rugo, you can fly.'

'I can fly.'

'Anyway, do you remember your role in-'

'I BELIEVE I CAN FLY, I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKYYY-'

'SHUT THE FUCK UP RUGO!'

'Hey Chris!' I hear from a familiar acquaintance, her purple eyes shining into my own. I mean, wow, we both know this isn't a real date (although we both have vastly different ideas of the real purpose for our meeting), but she actually has made herself look much more beautiful than normal today. Perhaps she actually likes me? If that's the case then, shit, we could've become partners in crime or something. She could've been the other side of the coin that is Kira. Wait, who am I kidding? She's an assassin and hence a murderer, and she'd never forgive me for what I'm doing to the mafia that has kept food on her plate and ammo in her gun for as long as I can remember. And I can't second-guess myself now, now that I've already set up everything that's going to happen. There's no turning back now, and in any case I'm sure I'll find a better girl someday. Preferably one with connections to the police.

'Holy shit. You better get at least a two-digit number of bases you lucky bastard!'

At this point I'm too close to talk at normal volume, and our phone method may backfire, so I simply whisper my response.

'Rugo, I have to avoid doing anything on this date that could get me emotionally connected to her. I'm feeling bad enough as is.'

Of course, I can fluently disguise my true thoughts, and I sit next to her with the vibe of a typical enthusiastic high-schooler. No matter how you look at it, it's just an ordinary date. And that's what the guy tailing me is going to see.

'Sorry I was late Viper, I was just helping the… elderly across the street!'

'If you're ever late again, I'm gonna rip off your head and [CENSORED] down your [CENSORED]!'

Dammit, should've come up with something more believable.

'Gosh, I haven't been to Sealand-land since junior high! This is gonna be fun! Plus, I get you all to myself today, Chris…'

'Viper, my stalker's at least thirty meters away. You see him.'

After briefly moving her eyes but keeping her head still, she replies. 'Yes.'

'At this distance he probably won't even notice your pretending. Still, to be safe we shouldn't talk about-'

'Huh? P… pre… pretending?'

Wait, did she genuinely mean that? Does she genuinely like me? Fuck, let's just hope my imminent cloud of regret has a silver lining.

(Ryan's POV)

Ryan Parson, stalkin' down the road, Ryan Parson, after Atarashimono, Ryan Parson… I should write this down. But first, I'll finish my report. Opening up a notepad I write at the bottom of the page:

Christian Atarashimono, son of Haumea Atarashimono and an unidentified father. Suspect no. 37, no grounds for suspicion.

I'll just follow him this one last day, and next I need to shadow his sister. Wait, what's Chris doing getting on a bus with a girl? His relationship status said he was single! Looks like it's time for…

SECRET

AGENT

RYAN

(Chris' POV)

A tap of the back suddenly jolts me out of my daydream, and I see the criminal I had written into the notebook yesterday walk onto the bus, his hands in his pockets. I quickly focus my attention to Viper to make sure she's all normal and everything.

'… In other words, if you don't have self-confidence, make someone around you a more miserable person than you are. Of course, I personally…'

Yup. Just her usual self, although she can't seem to decide if she should sit with or without her legs crossed, or how long she's going to be blabbering on for. In any case, my other puppet has arrived for the show. I don't even remember what his name was, but based on his appearance I'd guess he's at least sixty years old and probably weighs the same as the average American. And apart from him there's thirty passengers, as many as I could organize. Of course, none of them know I manipulated things so that they'd all be on the bus at this time, which was insanely difficult since I couldn't really use the Death Note to help with that. My main reason for having so many people on the bus is so that, even if L finds out that this agent had to reveal his ID here, I'd still have some chance of deflecting suspicion since more than twenty of the passengers were present at one of the two isolated killings before my main "Kira" began. In other words, even in a worst-case scenario I'd still be just one among two dozen or so suspects. This is going to work out perfectly.

At that moment the man pulls out and cocks a gun, holding it to the bus driver's head. Just say the magic words, fat Gandalf.

'I'M A CRACK ADDICT AND I'M HIJACKING THIS BUS!'

Okay, that's not exactly what I imagined he'd say, but it'll do. Everyone of the bus gasps, with the exceptions of Viper, Rugo, the agent and I.

'Cut the squawking! Anybody makes a sound or move of any kind, I blow their damn head off!'

'Dude, eat a snickers.'

'…Why?'

'Because you become Kira's next victim when you're hungry… better?'

'Better. LOL NO! Betcha didn't see that one coming, bus driver! You know the Sealand-land phone number, don't you? Call it.'

The bus driver dials the number as everyone there is left wondering what the fuck just happened. Including me. I mean, I never even wrote… Rugo changed it at the last minute without telling me, didn't he? I'll have to ask later. For now I'm focusing on what's happening at the front of the bus.

'This is Smith, driver of bus no. 7. The… The bus has just been hijacked by a man with a gun!'

'Gimme that… You hear that? Now listen to this. Take all the money you made yesterday and bring it to the Chatswood bus stop, that's two stops before Sealand-land, before this bus gets there. I want a woman delivering the money by car, and nobody else! You try to be smart with me or call the cops, and I kill every passenger on this bus! You got that? Good.' He then rips the phone from it's cord, before throwing it to the ground where in cracks in half.

'Chris, I know I liked you and all, but if he tries to kill us I'm throwing you in the way.'

'And I'll do the same.'

Just moments later I feel a soft tap on my leg, and turn to see Viper handing me a note on a torn-off piece of paper. I quickly read it in my head, already knowing exactly what it says.

Don't worry, I have a plan. I'm going to run straight up to him, even though he has a loaded gun, and pin his arm down so he can't use it. He's pretty small and weak-looking. I'm sure I can restrain him. Unfortunately due to budget cuts, this message will not self-destruct.

As I notice a few passengers trying to see what she's written, I quietly respond, 'It's good to see that someone has the balls to go, but don't forget to do your best to stay alive.'

My stalker leans forward as I subtly swap out Viper's not for one I made out of Death Note paper earlier.

'Don't. It's too dangerous. Let me take care of that. Its okay, we can talk if we keep our voices down. He won't hear us over the noise of the bus.' Crumpling up the new note I respond.

'I don't mean to be rude, but you have a slight accent. You aren't Australian, are you?'

'No, I'm American.' Exactly as I'd planned, Viper speaks next.

'Do you have anything that will prove to me you aren't the hijacker's accomplice?' One of the other passengers quietly whispers, 'A… accomplice?'

'It's a pretty common practice. They make you think there's only one guy, but actually he has an accomplice in the back to keep watch and come to the rescue if something happens.'

'Oh shit, you don't mean…'

'Well, do you?' I'm really liking the way I planned this out. Having Viper do all the talking brings me even further from suspicion if L were to find out about this incident. Either way, by this point my shadow has no choice. He probably highly doubts that I'm Kira, since if that were the case he'd expect me to give the hijacker a heart attack. That being said, he's probably been specifically ordered to do everything he can to prevent anyone from seeing his ID. And then there's the possibility his ID is fake. But that doesn't make a difference, since even looking for his alias in the database of whoever he works for will still lead me to his true identity.

'Do you have any identification?' Viper asks again, her patience wearing thin.

'Hey, fuck you dude I didn't do anything-'

'ID PLEASE!'

'You're a little pain in the ass, you know that?' He replies, giving in and showing Viper and I (and about half a dozen other teenagers who were watching from the seat in front of Viper and I's) his ID.

FBI. Facebook Investigator. So L's using the FBI to probe the suspects, at the very least… name, Rylie Parrie. Probably an Alias, though.

'FBI. Forceful Butt Insertion.'

… close enough, Rugo.

'Okay, I trust you. And right now I won't ask why an FBI agent is onboard this bus.' I do wonder why she thinks he's here, though. Does she suspect him of investigating the mafia? Or does she correctly assume it's something Kira-related? In any case, now it's my time to talk.

'Got a gun?'

'Yes, I do.'

'So you'll take care of it if something happens?'

'Yes.'

But he'll only take out the gun as a last resort. He probably doesn't want the cops asking him what he's doing here in Australia, since I doubt the entirety of ANPA knows what L's doing. But I've killed more people in America than anywhere else, so he could say the FBI's conducting its own investigation… no, he'll try to avoid the police. I can be sure of that.

Now I drop my crumpled-up piece of Death Note paper and give a sufficiently loud "Oops" to attract the criminal's attention.

'Hey! What's that there? A note?'

'Yes. Please, pick it up.' At this point Viper and the FBI agent aren't even paying attention anymore, so I can probably get away with saying that.

'Oh, I might just do that… stupid teenager… Tch! What's this, where you were meeting your date? Drop something again, I'll shoot ya!'

Perfect… not the shooting thing, but the fact he touched the Death Note.

'And that goes for all of y'all. Anybody makes a move, I'm gonna- WH- WHAT THE HELL?! YOU… IN THE BACK THERE, YOU… MONSTER, YOU… HOW LONG YOU BEEN THERE?!'

'That's a bit racist, don't you think?' Rugo replies.

'Don't move, just stay… right there… or I'll shoot!'

The Facebook Investigator immediately responds, 'He's on PCP or something, he's hallucinating! Everybody get down!'

'Well, I never thought our plan to copy Light's plan would go this well, Chris…' Luckily Rugo isn't looking at me when he says that, which was something I forgot to mention when we were planning this.

'Back… stay back…'

*BANG*

'You're wasting your bullets. I'm a Shinigami, so they won't do anything!'

'Shut up! I have a loaded gun!'

*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*

'See how loaded it is?'

*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*

'It's very loaded!'

*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*

'It's not un-loaded at all!'

*BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*

*click* *click*

'… Oh shit!'

'Dude seriously with that many bullets you could've robbed a freakin' mall!' Comments the bus driver.

'You are out of bullets! I'll stop you!' States my stalker as he runs down the aisle, passing through Rugo toward the criminal.

The hijacker runs to the driver, grabbing him and shouting, 'Stop the bus! Open the damn door!' The brakes slam on and the bus lurches to a stop before the door opens and the criminal jumps out, landing on the road on his hands and knees. Within three seconds a car races along, trying to stop but quickly failing, and the man is hit at high speed, killing him instantly. For a moment, everyone on the bus just freezes in place, looking at the scene.

'Oh my god he's dead!' I hear from one of the kids in the seat in front of me.

'Fuckin' better be.'

'What?'

'… I mean, what a tragedy…'

I check my watch. Exactly 6:45. The Death Note's right on time.

'Hey.' I look up to see my FBI shadow.

'Yes?'

'I'm actually in Australia on a top-secret mission and if the public finds out, well…'

'I understand. I won't tell anybody about meeting you.'

'Same here' Viper agrees.

'… I'm out of here, then… don't want to be around when the police arrive, so…' without further explanation the man flees the scene, and is out of sight within seconds.

That's right, run swiftly. If you live through this battle, you will be a true warrior. And you will carry on. Now I don't want the cops to find out I've had contact with an FBI agent, either. L would definitely hear about it. Ryan Parson obviously doesn't suspect me. The police are going to process what happened here today as a simple accident. You know, as long as it doesn't kill me, being Kira is a lot of fun.

'Listen, Viper, I know we were set to go to Sealand-land, but after something as fucked up as this-'

'What're you talking about? We're almost there! We're going. Plus, who wants to be questioned by the cops?'

As we leave the scene hand in hand, I can hear one of the bystanders commenting,

'Well, someone should clean that up. It's starting to smell.'

(Ryan's POV)

Well, this has been one shit day. But at least I can move on to tailing the other Atarashimono suspect tomorrow, I think as I open the hotel door.

'Ryan, you're back.'

'Yeah.' I quickly reach into the closet to find some normal clothing. This suit is really goddamn uncomfortable.

'You seem drained. Did something happen?'

'I got mixed up in a bus-jacking.'

'A bus-jacking?'

'Yeah. This guy who failed to rob a bank a few days ago tried to hijack a bus. Didn't think this kind of stuff happened in Australia. I thought it was just kangaroo riders and coal miners.'

'And you were on the bus when this happened?'

'Yeah.'

'What'd I tell you about going on buses? Buses are for normal people, we are not normal. We are better than those vermin. Now drink your tea for god's sake.'

Sipping the aforementioned tea, I continue. 'But the guy jumped out and ended up getting run over by a car.'

'Did he die?'

'What do you mean?'

'Did. He. Die.'

'He was hit by a car going at least 50 miles an hour.'

'But did he die?'

'There was blood everywhere…'

'So did he die?'

'… You're being serious right now.'

'Very! So did the criminal die?'

'Look, my target's not Kira, okay? Too young, too stupid.'

'A criminal dies in front of you while you're investigating a Kira suspect and you're not the slightest bit suspicious?'

'Don't tell me how to do my job. Look, I know you're an excellent FBI agent, but this ain't your case, okay? You promised me you wouldn't get involved, or do anything that would put you in danger. Those were the conditions. The only reason you're here with me is so we could visit your parents.'

'All right, Ryan. Force of habit, I guess. I'm sorry.'

'Hey, I'm sorry too. Look, if worse comes to worst, we can always revert to our Division Emergency Response Plan, or DERP for short. So how about using that brain of yours to figure out how I can make a good impression on your folks next week?'