(Nigel's POV)

'I am L.'

The nine of us look in surprise at the man standing before us. With green eyes and black hair, he looks much younger than I, or probably anyone else, had expected. He looks very confident in meeting us, though, and from the tone of his voice I can tell that he's in a really serious mood. One by one, we all show our police IDs to him.

'I'm detective superintendent Blackheart of ANPA.'

'I'm Okada.'

'I'm Aivenawa.'

'I'm Mungalo.'

'I'm Moorga.'

'I'm-'

'BANG!' L suddenly shouts with his hand in a gunlike position, cutting off Marco.

'Huh?!'

'W-What the hell was that?!'

'If I were Kira, you'd be dead now, Director Blackheart of ANPA. All Kira needs to kill someone is knowledge of their name and face. You ought to know that by now. Common sense says you can't kill anybody just by knowing their name and face. But the fact is, criminals are dropping dead one after the other on the basis of that information alone. That is how he kills people, we have no choice but to believe it. We're the only ones left who are willing to risk our lives for this. So let's be careful about telling people our names. If you don't want to die, think.'

'… He needs to know their names? I knew about faces, but did anyone ever mention-'

'Shut up Okada, we're listening to L!'

'Rather than standing around talking, how about we move over there? Please turn off your phones, laptops and any other electronic equipment you have, and place them on that table first.'

'What? You think we got games on our phones before coming here because we were expecting a boring meeting? How could you accuse us of that?!'

'We all knew he was cautious, but this makes me wonder if he really trusts us or not.'

'It's not that. I just can't stand it when someone's phone goes off while I'm talking. Two more things. Don't write down anything I say here. Just keep it in your heads. And for the purpose of being awesome, please refer to me as "Luci" from now on.'

'Why?'

'BECAUSE! … Exactly. Now that we're all gathered here we can begin.'

As we all gather around a small table and sit at the armchairs and sofa surrounding it, I take closer note of the suite itself. The room is painted a polished white with gold trappings trailing along the edges. There are several doors and miniature hallways leading into other rooms, and the hard-wood flooring is covered with a soft, rose-covered carpet. There's an alcove set to the side with various kitchen appliances and a stainless steel sink. On the far side is an enormous window reaching all the way from the floor to the ceiling with a wide view of the business district.

As we all settle down and Q brings us coffee and additional doughnuts, Marco loudly clears his throat to divert attention.

'What do you want?'

'I believe there was promised an animal of a certain eqian variety-'

'You honestly believed I would give you a pony?! Now, all of you, please sit down… Gentlemen, you may be wondering why I gathered you all here today.'

'But we came to see you!' Replies Moorga.

'It's so that we may catch Kira! To start, do we know anything about Kira?'

'He killed ISIL!'

'We also suspect that he killed Lewis Larsson.'

'Each victim died from a heart attack.'

'There's no proof that he was ever at the scene of these murders.'

'All criminals whose name or face is unknown or has been misspelled has been spared so far.'

'He has a really badass costume.'

'4 out of 5 dentists prefer Colgate over their leading competitor!'

'…You're all completely wrong, but I like your style. What you're all missing is what each victim had in common.'

'FUCKIN' HEART ATTACKS I JUST SAID!'

'They all had… elbows.'

...

...

I had my doubts at first, but I am now sure this man is L.

'I outlined my plan to catch Kira on these documents,' He states while passing papers around the table.

'… Uhh, this is just the letter "L" over and over.'

'I don't see your point.'

'Excuse me, L?' Asks Okada.

'Hm, from now on I'll have to ask that you stop calling me L. It's "Luci" now, just to be safe.'

'Umm, okay, Luci-'

'I am L.'

'Excuse me, L?'

'Hm, from now on I'll have to ask that you stop calling me L. It's "Luci" now, just to be safe.'

'Umm, okay, Luci-'

'I am L.'

'Excuse me, L?'

'Hm, from now on I'll have to ask that you stop calling me L. It's "Luci" now, just to be safe.'

'Umm, okay, Luci-'

'SHUT UP OKADA!'

Marco is next to speak up. 'I have an idea! Wait, no, never mind, false alarm.'

'Hey, if we know that Kira needs to know people's names and faces, then can't we tell the media to omit those from their crime coverage? That could limit the number of victims.' Clovis suggests in his strong French accent.

'If we do that, ordinary people will be killed.'

'Ordinary people? Why's that?'

'Kira is childish, and he hates losing. You guessed it, I'm also childish and hate losing. That's how I know.'

'Could you explain that a little more clearly?' I request.

'That time I used the TV broadcast to challenge him, Kira, who as far as we know had only killed criminals until then, didn't hesitate to kill me… that is, the death row inmate he thought was me. Then, when I said he was in Sydney, all of his killings the next day were of criminals within Sydney, rather than around the world as usual. Every time you challenge him, instead of backing off, he cockily responds with a challenge of his own. He always has to win. He can't stand losing… what do you think would happen if we used media restrictions to shield criminals from someone like that? He'd be like, "withhold criminals from me, and I'll kill those responsible for less serious crimes! I'll even kill innocent people! I'm taking the whole world hostage!", and then he'd be like, "It'll be your fault, not mine. Those who shield evil-doers from my judgement are evil themselves!". That is Kira's mental process. If we're going to worry about the media, what we really need to shield is how few of us are hunting Kira right now. And while we're at it, let's figure out how to use the media to our benefit. Fortunately, we still have commitments from police in most countries, including Ameri-kun, to provide us with information and forensic expertise. How about something like this, for example… "World outraged at the threatened deaths of Kira investigators, G7 nations agree to send total of 9000 more into Australia for Kira manhunt." That's a whole different dimension from finding and killing less than 200 agents. Kira will start seeing enemies everywhere he goes. As he starts feeling cornered, he'll make some kind of move.'

'… I like it!'

'That's great! That way, Kira will think there are over 9000 of us, when there are really only three.'

'I think I got it… but just in case, tell me the whole thing again. I wasn't listening.'

'SHUT UP OKADA!'

'Luci, I'll send this up to the director-general's office right away.' I reply.

'But if Kira feels cornered, who knows what kind of move he'll make?' Red objects.

'Yeah, she's got a point. And you really should watch your sugar intake! It shrinks ya teeth! And it shrinks ya head! Ohh, and it shrinks ya balls-'

'Mungalo, who gave you permission to speak? And I will eat all of the damn sugar I want! It's happiness in cube form.'

'So it's… like crack?'

'Do you mind if I share my other thoughts on this case with you? Kira needs knowledge of his victim's name and face to kill them, and he can control the time of death, as well as the victim's actions before death, to a certain extent. Now, please keep those points in mind as I share the rest of my thoughts with you by drawing on this hotel's table.'

Luci then takes out a marker and writes down various dates and events as he talks.

'November 8, 124 agents enter Australia. November 14, Kira uses imprisoned criminals to carry out what are clearly tests of his ability to control victim's actions before they die. In other words, within just six days, Kira became aware of the investigator's presence. He felt threatened, and in order to uncover the identities of all the agents in Australia, whose names and faces he couldn't have known, he used criminals to test how far he could control his victims' actions. November 27, he succeeds in pulling the FBI and CIA out of Australia after correctly identifying all the agents' names and later their nationalities. The 13-day gap between the tests and the broadcast was to give the agents time to probe others, so as to draw suspicion away from himself. However, we can be sure that during those first six days, he was among those being probed here in Australia.'

'That's great. If we know this much we can catch him, even with just the eleven of us.' Okada enthusiastically replies.

'First, we should look closely at the movements of each of the 124 investigators. So, any questions...? No? Now with that over, I will assign you all cool secret agent names. Mungalo, you will now be known as Drop Bear. Okada, you will be Wonder Waffle-'

'-I have a question for you, Luci. Earlier you said that you hate losing. But by showing your face to us, aren't you admitting that Kira defeated you?' I ask.

'Yes. Showing myself means I lost. But I'll win in the end. Like yourselves, this is the first time I've staked my life on a contest. Let's show him, those of us who are risking our lives… that the status quo always wins.'

'That's right!'

'Let's show him!'

'Yeah, let's get him, L! … I mean Luci!'

'With our powers combined… we'll probably still fuck up and fail horribly.'

'Great! So before you all go home and get some sleep, I need to question all of you off-screen to make sure none of you are Kira.'

(Chris' POV)

Closing the door behind me, I place an icing-covered cupcake on my desk and bloatedly flop onto the bed.

'That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did". It sucks you couldn't join in, Rugo. Here, I saved a cupcake for you.'

'Thanks.'

'If you think about it, the process of singing the birthday song and cutting the cake is kinda satanic. Look at it this way: A small gathering of people huddle around an object on fire, ritualistically chanting a repetitive song in unison until the fire is blown out and a knife is stabbed into the object.'

'… Okay. So we agreed that I'd tell you today, right?'

'Huh?'

'Remember when we agreed that I'd wait until your birthday before telling you one of the most important things to know about using the Death Note?'

'Oh, right, I remember you saying that.'

'Well, here it is: When a human who has killed at least one person with a Death Note at some point during their lifetime dies… they become a Shinigami.'

'… Huh?'

'Yup. Your soul, your memories, all of it is taken from your body on Earth, and it enters a newly-born god of death.'

'… This explains a lot. You were human once, weren't you?'

'Wow that was quick. Yup, long ago I was exactly where you are now, learning about Death Notes and Shinigami for the first time. Of course, back then the Death Note series didn't exist, so I was totally in the dark about it all, until she showed up…'

'"She"? What-'

'Oh, and there's another thing I should mention. Many Shinigami were born as such, and have no human origins. When they are created, they are automatically granted the Shinigami eyes. But when a human dies and becomes a Shinigami, they will only gain the eyes if they made "the eye deal" at some point in their life. Those who never made the deal at any point in their lifetime, on the other hand, don't get the eyes when they become a Shinigami and have to use special "Shinigami goggles".'

'So if I never get the eyes as a human, I won't get them by default as a Shinigami?'

'Ja. I feel sorry for those people.'

'Well, to be honest I'd suspected something along the lines of all that from the beginning, and not just because of how human-like you act. You remember how the anime has 37 episodes, and the manga has 109 chapters?'

'Ja?'

Starting up my computer, I continue. 'Well, there were also 2 movie-like story compressions titled parts 1 and 2 of "Death Note ReLight". Most of it is non-canon, with the exception of a few scenes taking place in the Shinigami world, showing an individual who is almost certainly Light Yagami.'

After going through a few folders I find an image of the aforementioned Shinigami to show to Rugo.

'Okay, I-'

…

…

'Umm, Rugo?'

'Oh, I'm just, umm, surprised how much the creators of Death Note knew about all this… So, enough about that, I've been meaning to ask you something.'

'Yeah?'

'A while back you contemplated forming an official alliance with the Russian Federation. When and how are you planning to do that?'

'Actually, I've almost finished writing out the terms of such an alliance with Russia, as well as with Argentina, Belarus, Bolivia, Canada, Colombia, Cuba, Croatia, Cyprus, The Democratic Republic of the Congo, East Timor, Ecuador, El Salvador, Ethiopia, Germany, Greece, Guyana, Haiti, India, Ireland, Japan, Malaysia, Mauritania, Mexico, Panama, The Philippines, South Korea, Sweden and Vietnam, as well as separatist factions in Alaska, The Canary Islands, French Guiana, Greenland, Hawaii, Kurdistan, New, Caledonia, New England, Novorossiya, Palestine, Puerto Rico, Romano, Texas, Tibet and The Western Sahara.'

'Wow, seriously? When have you had the time for that?'

'You'll be surprised how much I can get done when you're not paying attention.'

'So, why those countries?'

'Various strategic reasons, although most of the smaller ones were chosen randomly. Remember, I need to test the reactions of various different kinds of governments and regimes to my alliance offer. I think this should give me a wide enough spread for my first trial run.'

'And what do your "offers" look like?'

'Well, as an example, my one aimed at Russia is 14 pages long, but to summarize: Bring about complete government transparency, swap out some of your high-ranking officials for less criminal-ey ones and admit to/undo all previous acts of corruption and injustice, and in return I'll use my power strategically to support your nation economically and militarily… It then goes into more detail about things relating to internet and media censorship, mass surveillance, democracy, elitists, foreign policy, nuclear weapons and enforcing the above on their Eurasian Union and CSTO allies. I'll translate it all into Russian before sending it over, the latter of which is much easier said than done.'

'… You know, sometimes I envy you. When I'm not praying for your soul, that is.'

'Well, faced with overwhelming odds, I'm only left with one option. I'm gonna have to geopolitics the shit out of this. I don't really have a choice, you know. He who moves first always wins, and I know for a fact L and his superiors are going to move soon, if they haven't already done so in the shadows that is. Personally I think Light had it easy on this front.'

'Hey Chris, speaking of politics, you wanna know something I thought up earlier today? We need a "none of the above" option in elections. If that option wins, the election is held again with all new candidates. Well, maybe we don't need it here in Australia, but I'd say America definitely does.'

'That… is the dumbest smart thing I have ever heard.'