(Chris' POV)

'Rugo, how do I look?'

'With your eyes, Chris.'

As I put on my helmet and Santa hat, I remark, 'You know, I suppose being Kira is a bit like being Santa. I mean, I'm making a list, I'm checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice…'

'Oh, that reminds me. Do you remember your lines?'

'Of course I do, we've been practicing and rehearsing since the airfield!'

'Yeah, that was a fun sleepover.'

'I'd hardly call it a "sleepover" Rugo. For one thing, we were the only ones there.'

'No we weren't! Remember the family of wallabies we found behind the control tower?'

'…my point exactly. Alright, now we just need to record our video, deliver it to Tomorrow's Today Tonight, and if nothing bad happens we should be back before Indy or mum wake up.'

'Wait, do I have to carry you there again? I mean, you're really heavy and it's such a long way to-'

'Don't complain unless you've got a better idea.'

(Indy's POV)

'You know, I'm really glad you could come over, Katashi.'

'Well, I don't really have much of a family to celebrate it with, so I figured I'd come here. I mean, your mum is fine with it and your brother doesn't have a say in the matter.' He replies with that charming voice of his, his shiny brown eyes staring into mine.

'Heh, well, mum's still making pancakes and Chris probably isn't even awake yet, so what should we do in the meantime?'

'Hmm…'

(Twenty minutes later)

'Twas the nizzle before Christmizzle, and all through the hizzle, not a creature was stirring, not even a mizzle, fo shizzle. All were awaiting Sizzle Clause and his bag, to bring the good homies and bitches their swag.'

Suddenly the two of us are interrupted from watching Snoop Dog's Christmas video by the sound of an impending Skype call.

'Umm, let me just get that.'

-Beep-

'Hello?'

'Hey, Indy, I just wanted to… wait, who's that?'

'This is my boyfriend Katashi. Katashi, this is Tom, my-'

'Yeah, yeah, I know. Look, kid, she's already told me about the whole Kira thing you two are working on, and I just want to make it clear now that I couldn't care less about any of that, so long as nothing bad happens to my girl here.'

Visually speaking, the two of them strongly contrast one another. While the Albino that is Thomas Blackheart prefers to wear white or lightly-colored clothing, and is rather small due to his age, Katashi here is tall, has brown hair and a dark grey-blue jacket covering a black shirt.

'So… How'd you two meet?'

'Well, it's a bit of a funny story. I first met him about half a year ago at target when he asked if I could hold his hand because his ex just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, and U must say that was the best damn pick up line I've ever heard. So, enough about that, any updates?'

'Nope. For three weeks, no details whatsoever of the investigation have been entered into my dad's computer, or any of ANPA's for that matter. This indicates there've been some major changes. Personally I'm quite surprised that absolutely nothing new is coming in from anywhere I can hack into.'

'My brother has a notebook that kills people! Hell, nothing surprises me anymore.'

'So, I just called to wish you all a merry Christmas, and also to ask you something.'

'What?'

'Look, this is just something I want your opinion on. You don't have to give an answer if you don't want to, but-'

'JUST SAY IT!'

'… Why aren't IPhone chargers called apple juice?'

'…'

'…'

'…'

(From downstairs) '…'

'…'

(In German) '…'

'…'

'…You know, that's actually a good question. Indy's smart, she might know.'

'Please, you don't have to say that.'

'Well according to that story you told me the other day, you were the first in your entire year group to read and write.'

'Wait, what story?'

'Should I tell him?'

'Sure, tell him.'

'Once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write "super girl" on her arm since I was the only literate kid so I wrote "shit" and I hid under the table for like half an hour while she was showing it to everyone.'

After a few seconds Tom bursts into laughter, something I don't think I've seen him do before. It takes nearly half a minute for him to calm down.

'Oh, you… I wish I could've done that. Dammit, I wish I were more like you Indy!'

'Oh, you think I'm a good role model? About three months ago I took a poison ivy plant and rubbed it all over Kallet's car, but what I didn't expect was that she was carpooling three of her bitch friends with her to the mall. The next day the four of them came in covered in rashes and had to give the PE teacher a note because it had spread to unsavory places. And so did at least twelve of the football players.'

'You are the BEST role model what are you talking about?!'

'If you find that funny, you should hear about the time I planted a miniature garden inside my rival's keyboard. Or the time Viper and I filled Oreos with toothpaste and gave them to everyone at school. Or the time a loaded a community fountain with dish soap. Or the time-'

At that moment the door violently swings open, and mum enters.

'Or, from my childhood, the time I swapped out all the firefighter's water tanks for tanks of rocket fuel!'

'What the hell mum?! You don't just barge in here without knocking!'

'Mrs. Atarashimono-'

'Please, just call me Haumea. Same with you, Tom. "Mrs. Atarashimono" makes me sound old.' Wait, how does she know who Tom is?

'Haumea, I didn't think you were into this stuff as a kid as well?'

'Who do you think my kids got it from? Also, you two, the pancakes are ready. I'll go wake up your brother.'

'No need, I'm awake.' My half-asleep brother responds as he leaves his room and flops down the stairs.

(Lauren's POV)

'Tom, come down here! Kira's doing a Christmas thing!'

As a girl with such a minimalist social life, I like to spend Christmas with my family rather than any friends. This year it'll just be my brother and I, though, although dad said he'll be home later in the day.

As Tom makes himself comfortable on the couch next to me, the video begins, showing Kira in all his familiar- wait, he's wearing a Santa hat? And there's tinsel on his flag in the background?

'Greetings, all-'

'KIRA-SENPAI!'

…

… Shit, I just said that out loud.

'Senpai? You don't have an actual crush on him, do you?'

'W-what? How could you possibly even think that?!'

'Heh, if your face was any redder the animators could just use the template for a bloodstain! Don't worry, I won't tell dad.'

'Yeah, sure, just be quiet, you've already distracted us from the start of his speech.'

'Now, I can already guess that a lot of you out there will jump to the conclusion that, just because I celebrate Christmas, that must mean I'm a follower of Christianity, or another religion that does this. I'd like to debunk that immediately, as the version of Christmas I do takes a completely non-religious form. Now, I'm not an atheist because I'm ignorant of the reality of scripture. I'm an atheist because religious scripture is ignorant of reality. And even if the god described in the original Christian bible was real, I'd rather live in the burning pits of hell for thousands of years than worship that genocidal, homophobic, rape advocating, slavery and murder endorsing, psychopathic evil sadist. But I really don't want to discuss that any further, instead I want to talk about what this year has been like as a whole, from my perspective at least.

Now, I'll be honest, 2016 was a bit of a dark year. From the escalating war in Syria, to the American presidential election, to the continuing genocide of the Palestinian people by the Israelis, it's felt like one hard blow after another. And yeah, I get it, maybe the future is bad. But there's a future beyond that, right?'

'Hey, Lauren, if you're really this into Kira, then…'

'…Yes?'

'Never mind. It's not important… It's just, the way you feel about Kira even though you never met him-'

'Well I've watched all his broadcasts, I've done all the math, I've taken the side of Kira even when he was just a fictional animanga character, and in case you've forgotten, it was criminals like the ones Kira's killing who murdered our mother! Yes, I may not know exactly what he looks like or any of that, but love, love never changes.'

'You don't need to be so dramatic about it.' Tom comments as I focus back on the screen, having been distracted a second time.

'As Kira I have existed in this world for just 61 days, yet already the global crime rate has dropped by nearly two percent, saving hundreds of innocent lives. Granted, that isn't much, but it's a good start. Now I know there are a lot of haters out there who continue to complain about the collateral damage inflicted by my strategy, and many believe that the loss of life outweighs the benefits of a more crime-free world. But, you see, one of my favorite things about the math and logic behind all this is that it's true whether you believe in it or not. You know, people don't give a shit about reasons, but nobody can resist miracles. And my predecessor knew that.

Of course, I can only make so much progress by following in said predecessor's footsteps, as the biggest criminals in the world are the ones who write the rules that make their crimes legal, and so to take them on I'll need new tactics, and new strategies. And most of all, I'll need the support of hundreds of millions of ordinary men, women and children around the globe. And you can all choose to be among those people. The best part is, there are many easy ways you can support my goal of a more peaceful world, without even putting much effort into it. For example, here's just one example of something you can do: When you go shopping, be sure not to buy anything with a barcode starting with "729" or "871". That simple act will slightly reduce the ability of one of the Middle East's most brutal nations to fund terrorism around the world or continue to slaughter the locals of the lands they've conquered.

Of course, even they pale in comparison to the strength of the most powerful warmonger on Earth, the United States. They alone spends over two-thirds of a trillion dollars on warmongering annually, and for comparison, they only spend about 60 billion dollars a year on scientific and medical research. Of course, war against a foreign country only happens when the moneyed classes think they are going to profit from it, so another approach could be to remove to possibility of net profits. While this strategy could work for any aggressor, the US would be particularly vulnerable. For example, 90% of the two trillion dollars spent on the invasion and occupation of Iraq went to the richest 1% of Americans. Also, here's another fun fact about that war: The initial 2003 invasion was originally named "Operation Iraqi Liberation", but was quickly changed to "Operation Iraqi Freedom" so the acronym wouldn't give anything away.

And perhaps the saddest part is, while the world's nations always seem to find more than enough funds for their endless wars, police militarization, mass surveillance and god-knows-what-else, you still claim you don't have enough money to house the homeless, feed the poor or do anything else productive. And it wouldn't even cost that much, either. Out of the two trillion dollars spent on war every year, less than 5% of that would be needed to eradicate poverty and hunger around the world.

…Well, it looks like I have to start wrapping things up now, so I'll end off with this: If there's one thing I want you to take from this, it's that life isn't just doing things for yourself. It's possible to live in such a way that other people's happiness makes you happy too, and in the end… I just want to see people happy, that's all. That's why I became Kira, and that's why I will fight to the bitter end for what I believe in. And so, I wish you all a merry Christmas, a happy new year, and the best of luck in whatever lies beyond.'

At that, the screen goes black for a few seconds before going back to the hosts of Tomorrow's Today Tonight, none of whom seem sure how to react. Tom turns the TV off and turns to me.

'Well, I can certainly see where you're coming from. After all, as you already know that I myself feel the same way you do, I'm just not as emotional about it.'

'It's almost funny, you know, how our father is leading the Kira investigation despite the fact that both his kids are against it. Let's just hope he never finds out. Oh, before I forget, here's my present for you.' I quickly grab a small box from under the tree and enthusiastically give it to him.

'What's this? …"Attack on Titan Junior High"? OMG LAUREN THANK YOU SO MUCH I'VE BEEN WANTING THIS SINCE FOREVER!'

(Luci's POV)

As we all take our seats around the round glass table in the new hotel, Q rushes through the door carrying a large envelope.

'Luci, we've got another suicide note, similar to the last ones.'

'Huh, I thought he was done with that. Well, go ahead, show us all what it says.'

Q places the envelope on the table for the twelve of us to see, and slides out a photograph of the message.

Merry my ass, I'll be lucky to even reach the end of

Christmas, what with Kira running around despite

L! Seriously, what the hell is taking him so long?

'So, if we read it the same way as the notes I got before all of you showed up, it reads…'

Merry Christmas L!

'…Seriously? That's it?!'

'So, you're sure this is from Kira?'

'Without a shadow of a doubt Pearl. Well, I suppose this doesn't tell us anything new, especially since he's already made his views on Christmas clear in his broadcast this morning, his broadcast which kept running all the way to the end because SOMEONE couldn't get to TTT and stop it in time!'

Agent Marco objects, 'Look, it wasn't my idea to-'

'I don't want any of your half-assed excuses! You four fail one more time and you're off the case, got it?!'

'Well at least he isn't-'

'SHUT UP OKADA! NOONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION!'