Chapter One
Every page he turned, a string in his heart wrung out loud. Each page, a new picture, a familiarly new picture. He himself did not know what looked so familiar to him. He did not know why his heart arched terribly like clay being knead by untrained hands every time he turned over a page to reveal a new one.
He turned a page and stopped.
Why does a place he had never before seen with his own eyes... Why?
There he sat in the chair idly, his eyes glued to the photograph. The photograph that filled him with all too familiar emotions and feelings. Emotions and feelings which he had been compelled to grow accustomed to.
He sighed heavily, defeat in the air. The book closed with a soft thump and found itself back in its rightful place on the shelves to sit out the remainder of its days. He ran his finger along the binding slowly before stepping back and making his way out of the library through the maze of shelves filled with books that couldn't interest him any less.
Mere moments later, he found himself bearing the cold night once again outside the library. Stuffing his palms into the pockets of his blazer, he joined the evening bustle of Tokyo going to and fro to every nook and corner of the metropolis.
His eyes gazed out into the night, his mind meandered and wandered. Images of long forgotten pieces of scenery flashed in his eyes as the lights of Tokyo sped past him. A crater lake, a lake that shimmered in the evening light.
Itomori.
He dragged himself back into reality and fixed his gaze to the floor of the train. His eyes shut and a deep sigh escaped his lungs.
He couldn't remember when these feelings had come to haunt him, in fact he couldn't even remember much at all about those days. Five years had passed since then, yet these feelings had prevented him from a solid five hours of sleep in the night. He could recall nights he had spent staying up late. Was it fear? He recalled mornings he woke up from dreams with tears tracking down the sides of his face. He would immediately try to remember why he was crying in the first place and desperately try to bring his latest dream back to memory only to no avail. Was it sadness? He did not know. All he knew was that ever since that day, it felt like a chunk of his heart, of himself, had vanished into thin air. No. 'Vanished' was not the right term to describe what had happened. It instead felt like a piece of him had gone missing into this wide world, and it had left him with a sense of longing for something, or someone.
He had graduated high school and college, the whole world had changed around him. Yet for him, it felt like nothing had changed at all. Five years it had been, five painfully long years, yet the feelings that had haunted him as a teenage boy still haunted him to this day as a twenty two year old man.
For five long years, he had been lead by these feelings. These feelings he trusted had put him on the endless search for something, something or someone. There had been times he felt like he had found a glimpse of something, but just like that it was a glimpse. It was in his vision for one moment, the next moment it had completely disappeared back into the net of this world.
It was confusing him and, he didn't know how much longer he could take of it.
The door of the train opened and he stepped out onto the concrete of the platform. His clattering footsteps echoed with the sound of hundreds of others throughout the underground chamber. He navigated through the subway towards the escalators which would take him back to the surface and back into the nighttime buzz and bustle.
Keys clanged as he fumbled with the ring looking for his door key. He still didn't understand why. He pushed the key into the lock and turned it, the door unlocked with a click. He stepped inside his apartment and closed the door behind him. He slipped off his shoes and blazer throwing the fabric onto a nearby chair.
He turned the knob of the faucet. Cold water poured out as he shakily splashed some on his already cold stung face. He didn't understand why he had to suffer like this. This feeling of longing, nostalgia, had become more painful and stressful with every passing day. He didn't even understand why he felt so, why scenery from a town that was now only a part of history, why they made him feel this way.
His eyes met another pair of eyes, his own. He stared at his own reflection in the mirror as the sound of running water echoed throughout the tiled bathroom. He ruffled his hair and closed the knob of the chrome faucet. His eyes fell to the drain of the sink as he stared bleakly at it.
"Just a little more." He barely whispered...
Her eyes sprung open as she woke with a jolt.
Her eyes glued to the ceiling, light pouring through her bedside window to the outer world.
Blinking a couple of times, she registered the ringing of the alarm on her phone. Reaching over, she swiped the screen dismissing the annoying alarm of its duty of waking her up. She groaned slightly as she sat up on her bed, the balls of her feet lightly pressed on the cold floor.
A drop fell on the floor next to her feet.
Bringing her right hand to her eye and pressed a finger at the corner. A drop of liquid slowly trickled its way down her finger vanishing behind the back of her palm. Eyes still glued to the lines on her palm, a tiny painful smile seeped out onto her face.
"Of course I won't remember..." she muttered dolefully to herself.
She wiped the tears from her eyes and then brought her right palm in front of her. Staring down at it, she reminisced. She could still clearly see the characters on her hand even after eight years. She would never have been able to forget those three words even after death. Back then, she had desperately wanted the name of someone, the name of the person who meant more to her than she could put in words. Desperately wanting their name, she had opened her palm back then...
She steadily pulled herself onto her small feet. She felt the sensation of her weight flow down her legs for a moment before sighing heavily. Allowing her legs to guide her through her confined apartment, her mind roamed off in its own string of thoughts.
But the world didn't want her to remember that name.
The metal of the door knob turned with her hand. The door opened and closed behind her and she was greeted by her own painfully worn out reflection. Her fingers squeezed the tube, a small tube of toothpaste materialized on the bristles of her brush.
The world was too cruel for that to let her remember that name.
However, the world had given her something else to remember in place. A feeling she would never forget. A feeling she could never forget.
She didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse, but she was certain of one thing.
Somebody in this world loved her.
That was all she had needed. They saved her back then and she would keep following her feelings and instincts to find them. She'd recognize them, and they'd recognize her. Right?
Spitting out the toothpaste from her mouth and into the basin, her gaze met her own as she stared at her messy morning self.
It had been eight years. Eight painfully long years since that day. So much had changed, yet at the same time so little. The same feelings from that night still taunted her as a grown twenty five year old woman. Her friends had told her to get a move on, to forget Itomori.
That was not something she could accept.
She would not accept moving on from Itomori. That would be moving on from these feelings.
That would be forgetting the person who saved her.
Splashing water from her face and exiting the bathroom, the sound of her soft footsteps resounded as she made her way to her fridge. The door to the refrigerator pulled open as she searched for something quick to eat to fill her stomach. She wasn't willing to make any suiting breakfast this morning. Her mind and stomach just were completely against it today. Either that or she was trying to deceive herself of her own laziness. She shook her head in dissatisfaction as she settled for a store bought bun.
It was not like she had the power either to move on from her hometown. The feeling which had imprinted itself on her heart all those years back was after all, truly unforgettable. But she didn't know how much longer she could wait for something to happen. She didn't have much of a choice rather.
She had tried to fill up the hole these feelings had left in her, that something vital was missing from her life. She had tried all sorts of things, numerous things. She had spent years trying to fill up the void, but of course it had all gone in vain.
Eight years had passed slower than she could imagine, but when she looked back at it it certainly didn't feel like eight years. Everything had her immensely confused as to what was going on with her life, as to what was going to happen with her life.
She grimaced in pain slightly as an ache rippled through her entire skull. Pressing her fingers to her temples, she dragged them to the crook of her nose.
A deep breath escaped her being.
A single feeling.
A single feeling that had burdened her for eight eternal years. A single feeling had turned her life around, crushing any power she had of mustering a small real smile.
But she was living the life she had wanted to live, right? The dream life of Tokyo she had dreamed of so much back in her school days...
Her head slammed into the table as she gave up admitting defeat. She didn't have the time for this again. She needed to head for work, she couldn't afford to be late again.
A small tear escaped, falling a short distance and splattering on the surface of the polished wooden table.
She sighed shakily as another crystal drop of water forced itself out of her eyes.
"Just a little longer..."
She gazed out the window of the train. Getting used to trains had not been easy when she first moved to Tokyo. The numerous routes and lines had meddled with her poor brain but now after seven years in Tokyo she could gladly say she had learned how to deal with hustle and bustle of the crowded metropolis.
She sighed as she pressed her fingers to the glass of the window. Her eyes wandered off aimlessly from the faces of other passengers on other passing trains to speeding signs.
Her eyes stopped.
Her eyes widened.
Everything around her had muffled around her, the sound of the wheels on the tracks, now barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
Everything had gone out of focus as well.
Everything except him.
"Umm..." she felt a small blush spread across her cheeks. The boy in front of her looked at her blankly, his face hinted with the smallest amount of confusion. She nervously pointed a finger at herself as she smiled awkwardly at him.
"It's me!" she chuckled embarrassingly.
He continued to stare at her, his eyebrow raised slightly.
Her heart started to fall as realization dawned on her.
She smiled sadly as she uttered her next words.
"Don't you remember me?" she asked.
A crease formed between the boy's eyebrows as confusion spread itself to every corner of his face.
"Who are you?"
At that moment, she audibly heard her heart crack right...
He had been gazing blankly, his mind wandering in its own world. But he had caught a pair of eyes staring at him from the other train on his left. He had told himself not to mind, but his eyes had veered off in curiosity.
He was grateful that he did.
His eyes went wide as he lurched forward at the window. He gazed at the brown pair of eyeballs staring right back at him with perhaps the same exact expression he wore at that moment. Everything had tunneled for him; the sound of the wheels on the track muffled, the people around him and his surroundings had blurred...
"Who are you?" he asked to the unfamiliar awkward girl standing right in front of him.
The girl's face fell in an instant, a look of hurt and heartbreak shattering her previously awkward smiling expression. The blush on her face deepened, she gazed down to the side bringing her hand to her chest clenching it softly.
"Sorry..." she murmured.
"Eh?" he sounded out confusingly.
The train lurched and the girl stumbled into him with a small gasp. The blush reddened every further as her face scrounged up in what seemed to be embarrassment to him.
Weird girl... He thought to himself.
The train started to slow down as the station for Yotsuya edged closer.
The doors opened as the sound of the announcement echoed throughout the carriage.
"Yotsuya. Yotsuya."
The girl in front of him looked up and started to make way for the exit despairingly with the rest of the crowd. He watched in slow motion as she started to disappear among the rest.
Something in him pushed him to call out to her.
"Excuse me!" he called out.
She turned around abruptly in surprise, her brown eyes meeting his.
"What's your name?!"
She quickly pulled out the braided cord in her hair as she threw it to him as she was pushed out by the crowd of people...
He didn't know if it was shock or recognition that had took him over at that moment. He just knew at that moment that at that moment he knew.
For what had seemed forever, he had been aimlessly searching...
She looked at him as his face started to grow smaller as their trains started to diverge on different paths. She couldn't understand the expression on his face, whether it was of shock or recognition. She really couldn't care less, because at that moment she felt alive. The feelings that had haunted for what had seemed forever, gone. Replaced instead with a fleeting happiness and warmth foreign to her being.
That's right, she couldn't remember from when these feelings had seized a hold of her. Maybe it had been from that night, the night the stars came falling down from the sky.
From that night she had been searching.
Searching for something.
No.
She had been searching for someone.
He didn't know what had seized him, he was going to miss his interview. But who cared about his interview? It was not like he would be able to get the job anyway.
He jumped off the escalators stumbling on his feet for a moment before picking up his pace again.
He shouldn't even be thinking about the interview. He'd be able to get more shots at interviews later on. This was something he'd never get another shot at. He needed to find her.
He burst out the station into the crowded street. Craning his head, he glanced in every possible direction. He needed to use his head and brains to find her. No, there were too many places she could've gone. Shaking his head vigorously, he began to run again. He just needed to run and find her. Leaving everything to fate, he let his feet take him wherever he needed to be...
Where was she?
She was panting, she was running. It had been a long time since she had run this hard. When was the last time she had run with this much desperation?
That night.
The palm of her right hand tingled as she screwed her eyes shut. No, she just needed to keep running. She needed to find him. But where could he be?
She had jumped off the moment her train had stopped at a station and found herself frantically looking in every direction.
Please... she thought to herself.
Coming to an abrupt stop at a corner standing right in the bright morning rays of the sun at the bottom of the stairway. He looked up slowly. His heart came to a stop.
It was her.
She was looking right back at him with her soft brown eyes, her expression a mixture of relief and exhaustion. Her black hair lazily abiding with the soft breeze of the wind.
Taking his gaze off of her, he hardened his expression and closed his mouth as he started to ascend the stairway. Through his peripheral vision he saw her slowly start to accept the descent of the stairway.
His heart was beating, he wanted to say something, needed to say something. This was the only shot he'd be given. Another opportunity was never going to present itself to him. She was right there coming towards him. Why was his composure failing him right now of all times? This was not a job interview, he couldn't let his composure falter this time.
They passed each other.
She kept descending, he kept ascending. Eventually he reached the top of the staircase, his mind slowly breaking into pieces.
He wouldn't let this go to waste.
He tensed his shoulders stuffing his hands further into the pockets of his blazer...
She had gasped to herself slightly in hurt the moment they had passed each other like regular strangers.
He didn't feel like a stranger to her.
She had wanted to say something to him, wanted to call out. But she felt as if it wasn't her turn to do so. Had she been wrong? Was this person just a regular stranger after all? Maybe that's why he passed her like he would any other person.
Her heart started to tense, her head starting to ache.
Was it all nothi-
"Excuse me!"
She stopped with a startled soft gasp. The wind blew softly as her heart contracted violently in her chest, a strand of black hair fell into her peripheral vision.
"Haven't we met?!"
She turned her head sharply, glancing at him through the corner of her eyes. He was standing there with an expression she couldn't describe. It seemed miserably sad, yet his face reverberated this soft humble glow. She certainly wouldn't have been able to describe it, but it was an expression that seemed all too familiar.
Turning towards him slowly, her hand on her chest. She connected her eyes with his. A wave of agony rippled through her chest disturbing her to the core. An ache ripped through her head as tears started to fall from her eyes.
That expression to her indeed was very familiar, and it pained her to seem him have the same expression.
"I thought so too!" she replied back. Her eyes shut and she smiled at him. A strong breeze blew between them, her hair flowing with the cool wind as tears poured out her eyes.
After all, the feelings behind his expression were the same ones that had possessed her since that night.
The night the stars came falling down.
She opened her eyes and gazed at him. Tears were trickling down his miserable smiling face as his entire figure relaxed. He opened his mouth. She opened hers.
"What's your name?" they asked together.
A/N: Depending on the response this first chapter gets, the story will be thought out likewise. It may be anything from this never being updated again to this becoming a full fledged fan work of novel length. So the fate of this story truly does depend on you readers.
It is incredibly difficult for me to write for my own self satisfaction. Therefore if you readers would like this story to continue, it will continue until it is completed.