Forgive me the X-Files tributes, which a lot of people won't even notice. But many actors in the series were at The Mentalist for my complete delight.
This here was written just for fun and none of these characters belong to me. Love Patrick Jane !
This fic was written in Portuguese and translated with google. I hope you understand.
Synopsis: Patrick Jane is questioned for being a son about his mother. A panorama of how many walks Lisbon and Jane's life about five years after the wedding.
FLAMBOYANT RED CAP.1 -Lisbon, come on. You don't want to miss your flight, do you? . Was the third time I spoke and although it was an option, I don't believe my wife wanted to miss the family event.. -I m just going. Teresa screamed from the room while we waited for her.
Us, me and our son. Charles Lisbon Jane, the Charlie. Five years and a world of discoveries Teresa's pregnancy wasn't a total surprise at the time, since we started to bond, we didn't talk about prevention. She wasn't a woman in her 20s which made conception less likely, but I think the intensity and frequency of our encounters didn't give nature much choice. She told me on our wedding day and it was a wonderful one. I was already thrilled to be able to remarry, but being a father completely clouded my life from then on.. Another little miracle, another, after I allowed myself to have another chance.. I lived through a cloudy period after the loss of my first wife and daughter, my first family. I had a nervous breakdown and only recovered from the idea of revenge. A year after this occurred, I went to the police to read the files of the assassin until the time Teresa gave me the opportunity to do something different from my life, convincing me that finding criminals could be a good idea.
It was really weird looking for criminals for me who lived for years on end deceiving people. I never considered myself a criminal, I didn't kill, I didn't steal. On the contrary, I gave people hope. It was in the rascality, but their hope was genuine. In addition to a success, I was very well paid for allowing people to resolve their issues with had already left. It was usually all a lie, but it didn't hurt anyone. Most of the time it even helped the person to have a better life from this event.
At this stage of my life I was completely confident. I had a house in a privileged place, a beautiful woman and a daughter I loved. I had stability and was so sure of me that i didn't even endorse the dangers of talking about a serial killer on tv, mocking him.
I paid a very high price for doing that. If Red John had blown my brains out it would have been simple, but no, he did worse, he left me alive to feel the pain of loss. And this pain, even now, even having fulfilled my promise to kill him, did not abandon me completely. I ll always have with me this big IF, if they hadn't paid for my arrogance, if I hadn't talked about a murderer. After Angela and Charlotte left I gave up everything, money and clothes and status, I was almost a beggar and went crazy, spent time in a sanatorium and only my desire for revenge prevented me from succumbing.
At first I thought not even my desire for revenge would make me move on, but I was rescued by the tough cop who stole my heart. It wasn t easy, nor fast, but working with Lisbon at the CBI made my days busy and fun. And I found myself making friendship calls and it was these calls that didn't allow me to shoot myself in the head a few times and also when I finished the job with Red John. It was for my friends that I stayed alive..
Working in the police was, first of all, a school and a kind of purgatory. I came from the circus, police were never welcome in this environment. And I lived of scams, always a reason to run away from police. In this sense Teresa functioned as a judge and a north. She was me and became my friend, even before I was her friend. The day I realized I trusted her, I was surprised, I had sworn and didn't have any more and you had some kind of connection with anyone. After a great personal tragedy, the you open up to the world, or close in for him. I had chosen to shut myself down, not let anyone in and get to know me again. I wasn't worth it.
I've been saying for years that Teresa was outside my life, although anyone who saw me knew it wasn t true. And I used everything to keep her away- my revenge, our differences in creation and vision of life, her honesty and my lies, all of which served to make her never seem like the ideal woman. It took me a long time to love her, or to admit that I loved her. It took me so long to really admit that I wanted to have a relationship again and that it would be with her. But seeing Charlie here next to me, I think we did the right thing at the right time. Nothing was in vain.
- Dad, was your mother like that too? Bossy. My son spoke the adjective softly, afraid his mother would hear him. That was Charlie, crafty, but questioning. And I encouraged this side of him with games and readings.
Charlie was a beautiful little boy with curly blond hair like mine and emerald green eyes, like Teresa's. A perfect mix of the two of us, although in temperament I won. Charlie's calmer, like me, unless they him off a lot. But he rarely loses his temper, unlike the woman who lives with us and has very little tendency to patience. yes, she's tough on him, too. As it is with everyone you love, you get used to it. And you love her even more for it. Bossy, like my son said. But sweet, so sweet that questioned me when I suggested the male variation of my daughter's name to our son. On the contrary, she smiled and said it would be perfect. Ever since Charlie was born, in a cold autumn morning, I've never been the same. I could still feel the panic and love in that cramped room at Austin Hospital. He screamed exercising his lungs and I cried with emotion seeing a tired Teresa, but with happy eyes. I had already experienced that wonderful feeling of a life coming into the world, a life that was part of you and the woman you love. It's indescribable, so at least in those first few months, where Teresa and I could protect Charlie from all over the world, I hid the panic at the bottom of the drawer and enjoyed again all the pleasures and duties of parenthood. And then I became an almost full-time father. I was still consulting with the FBl, but only in cases Cho demanded. Overall, I liked being with Charlie, taking care of and learning from him. Teresa didn't, she loved us, but she was still the soldier she fought so hard to become. I would never take that away from her, even with all the worry. It was part of her happiness to feel that she took the bad guys out of circulation. I've lived happily well for years, Charlie and Teresa, and almost year ago my wife asked me to enroll Charlie in a little school for kids. Against taste I did her will, which said that our son needed to socialize and create independence.
On the first day of school I had an absolute panic when I left him away from me in that colorful and hostile environment, in my eyes. Mas I played hard because Charlie seemed excited to say goodbye to us. Teresa took me to the FBI that day and made me help her on a case, just to distract me, but I didn t accept this method for long and the last few months I had been to all the meetings and i was never late to pick up Charlie at the end of the shift, until, on a day when one of the teachers missed, the school principal realized my ability to deal with children. She thanked me a lot at the end of the day and now, twice a week, I was the instructor of playful arts at the Low School of Austin.
I never imagined working with children in this way, my aptitude with them has always been natural. It got better when I was a father the first time. But now it was moving into a profession and soon the FBI would lose me for good, I think they already knew. I was dedicating myself to studying child behavior and would soon have a class of special students.. On occasion I wondered if I deserved this happiness again, but Teresa reminded me that we all deserved another chance. So I believed and thanked.. Coming out of my day dream I remember Charlie asked me about my mother. I think the question came because the other day there was a Grandparents Day celebration at the school. Teresa said her parents had already left, trying to give him an understanding of what death would be. That day he did not ask me unto anything, perhaps feeling my sadness. But now, while Teresa was bracing about winter clothes for us, he'd like to know if my mother was like his mother. What's to say? I barely know who my mother was. My father talked little about her, so did her friends. Barlow hasn't even mentioned her at all. Ever since I got to know each other, it's been me and my dad. When I grew up and learned to read people better, one day, in a questioning with my father, I asked about my mother.
Anne - he said. She hated her first name, which was Samantha, the name that appeared on my birth certificate.
She left too soon - I completed. And he didn't say anything else.
But I understood that it wasn't death, my mother was gone, maybe tired of that nomadic, poor, perspective less life we lived in. How to blame her? My father wasn't an easy and honest man, I ran away from him myself the first opportunity I had. And l passed away shortly after I decided to go to work in another circus. I went back to her funeral, I met Angela again, I went back to work at the circus of my childhood and the story went the way it was. She didn't want that life, I also saw another different way of living and moved on. First run away, then in a comfortable house, in a fixed place, available money and a world made of both of us.. I can't run away from the question, looking at Charlie. What strangely and came. A smell or color. Anne, I'm sorry.
I never realized that my daughter's middle name was my mother's middle name. Charlotte Anne. Samantha Anne.
No one called her Samantha because she remembered the stifle the sorceress and she was the magician s helper, my father. My father told me that one day, he was drunk and he didn't even realize what he said.
Curly hair like Charlotte s, I think that's what she had. I remember feeling the hair between my fingers. How old would I be? Two of them? Three of them? - Do you think I just put on some clothes and leave? Deception, my dears. I need to go through your bag so you don't forget anything. And there she was, my wife, taking me out of daydreaming. Strange still to talk about her, we were friends and professional partners for so long. Tough, bossy, angry, but definitely the most honest person I've ever met in my life.
-Dad was going to tell me about his mother. Charlie answered and Teresa looked at me in a wet. It was as new a matter to her as it was for me. Teresa stopped and stared at me, waiting.
-There's not much to say, Charlie. I don't remember much about her. Maybe she was smaller than you when she left.
-Is she dead? He asked and I saw Teresa start interfering, but stopped in front of my expression of "all right".
-I really don't know. I felt Teresa hold my hand, supporting me. I just remember that her hair was curly, like ours, that she smelled some tree.. I played on my son's hair, blond and curly, soft and lavender-smelling shampoo that Teresa loves to put on it.
-Then she must have been pretty. He smiled. What's her name?
-Samantha. But she'd rather be called Anne.
- If you don't know if she's dead, can't Mom find her? Doesn't she work in that place she knows about everyone s life? Ah, the magic of being a child. I said that once to the FBl, to explain what we were doing. I didn't think he'd remember, but from Teresa's angry face, I think we were in trouble. - The FBI doesn't know about everyone's life, my love. It's a place where we investigate people who want to hurt others or the country. She replied didactics. Taking Charlie by the hand and indicating me the three suitcases she probably overcrowded with unnecessary things. We were going to spend a weekend in Chicago for the wedding of Teresa s younger brother, James - Uncle Jimmy. They didn't give up the Janes' presence. This was always a tense subject for Teresa, and her and her brothers loved each other, but she still thought she was their mother, wanting to straighten them out. I liked her family, they were kids and I had fun, but Teresa kept trying to make them different. As if that were possible.. She was distressed, wondering if she could do something to help a brother s financial difficulty, the professional referral of a niece. It was no use me talking to her that none of this made a difference, important was the presence, my wife always wanted to do more.
We rushed out to the airport with Charlie seeming pleased with my explanations about my mother. I was the one who wondered if it was enough.. The flight was a long time late and Charlie got tired. And his first flight and even with so much excitement now he slept in the window seat of the American Airlines plane. I had my eyes closed, but I didn't sleep. I can never sleep on airplanes. In fact, of everything in my life, insomnia is still the one that haunts me. I sleep every day, but a few hours.
-Jane, do you want me to ask Wylie to look it up? Teresa whispered after a while.
-Who's that? I pretended innocence, but Teresa didn't answer me and looked at me with those green, insightful eyes that I don't quite know how, always knew when I was going to lie. Which was weird, because Teresa was the easiest woman I've ever read in my life. She was predictable, which they didn't understand as something bad, it was something that made me comfortable. She was honest, transparent. In the years we worked together, I've never had a problem with that. Teresa even denied it when she was mad at me, or telling me that I was being ironic, or wrong, or irresponsible. It's been a long time, I haven't even had a decent memory. Maybe it's not even her correct name right now. Teresa kept staring at me. -You've never mentioned her before. It wasn't a charge, it was a finding. Lisbon, Teresa, you were right. I never talked about my mother, I didn't even think about the lack she's done to me in my life. -There's nothing to talk about. My father never said anything and I learned not to ask. It looked like it hurt him, whatever happened. And I couldn't miss something I didn't know. Most of them in our world didn't have a father or a mother. We were all very lonely. You know Pete, for example, he left the original family, joined Sam, and you don't even know what's up with the four kids he had with his first wife. It's a nomadic world, Lisbon. My past was that, past. A distant place kept in my memory palace. Something lived, but it wasn't more important. He stayed behind when I ran away with Angela for a new life. -What do you remember? Teresa held my mother, genuinely interested.
-Very little. Me pulling curly hair. A song being sung to me, something I don't know. A smell of dandy cotton. Possibly baby powder, mixed with some wood perfume, a tree I don't know what it is.. -Was she your father's assistant? - I imagine so, it's the most logical. My father never wanted to be a magician again after something that happened. I spent a while thinking before continuing. Teresa, I don't know what we're going to find. Maybe she's already dead, I don't know if it makes any difference, you know? - Are you afraid? What can we find? ? - There is nothing to fear, it would be interesting to know some history. You know, even though my dad has a lot of problems, I have some good stories about him to tell Charlie. The other day I talked about how he taught me how to make eggs. It was his demand that perfected me in this art. I made delicious eggs, Charlie loved it and it was our favorite breakfast.
- Whatever we find, I'm going to be there with you. Always, always. And she kissed me, because Teresa was like that, saying she loved me was harder for her than showing. Every demonstration of her affection was worth a thousand words. When I threatened to delve into the sad past, she pulled me back. I deepened the kiss with my wife there on that flight. I've never had sex on a flight, nor would it be now. Teresa was not given adventures that would disrespect the laws, whatever they were. And even I didn't have that fantasy. Having sex with Teresa was more of an emotional demand. The physical part was hot, I liked to get lost in it, not to think of anything but our bodies together. But it was the emotional part that ecstatic me, the connection we built. The delivery. I spent many years not giving myself to anyone. There was fear of loss, of course, but there was my reservation before revealing myself as I truly am. Being seductive and charming has always been part of my job, and of course, I won't deny it, I've won over a lot of women like this. But only two managed to go beyond the fun and confident guy I showed on the surface. For two women I felt comfortable revealing myself. Being myself next to them brought me comfort and I could be romantic and tacky and silly without worrying about judgments.
-It's all right. But I don t want to be part of that search, I want to focus on something else at the moment. Can you just tell me at the end? I asked after we finished the kiss and she still held my hand next to hers and held her head on my shoulders. I felt her nodded. My mother, whatever happened, the FBI would find out and I'd only have one report at the end. Something to keep in Charlie's souvenir chest. CAP 2 Teresa's brother's wedding proved a very pleasant moment. The place they chose was beautiful and Lisbon told me that was where she and her family spent the holidays when they were children, a park at the entrance to the city. There was a tent set up and tables with white flowers adorned the place. There weren't many of us, the family of the bride and groom. James and Lucy had been together since Teresa and I got married and they seemed happy, even though they had little notion of responsibility. But they followed life and now they were parents, so they made the union official.
I already knew Teresa's brothers and we got along well, for them I was a kind of savior of sister, they did not realize that it was just the opposite. For them no one could stand the tough way of the older sister, so she would never have children and family, but I appeared as a good option. The truth couldn't be more different, but neither I nor Teresa called for it. Stan and Jimmy lived nearby and cared for each other, Tommy was still a bounty hunter, but he was closer to the family than his eldest daughter, Any, was at the police academy. She didn't joke when she said she wanted to be like Aunt Teresa. And my heart was filled with pride when Any sent us an email saying of her approval to the Police Academy and saying that in addition to Lisbon, I was also important at that point in her life.
Charlie got along very well with his cousins, several times Teresa s brothers wanted to bring my son to spend a few days here with them, but I could never leave. However, today I followed my wife's instructions and let my son be independent with his cousins. Teresa's older brother had hired a party animator. One of these guys who proposes stupid and dirty jokes for the kids, but apparently they love it. I didn't participate in any.
I saw Charles running, smiling and participating in the joke and couldn't help but get emotional. My son growing up safe and independent.
They screamed as they threw jelly balls at each other and Charlie seemed to find it all very amusing. I felt Teresa hugging me and pulling me to a place away from the party, we always liked it, watching people from afar. It was our son. We went to a bench across the park where we saw the tent, the kids playing, the families celebrating. I let the emotion flow. Part of my delivery to Teresa came in these moments. And I cried shamelessly when some emotions hit me. And she rarely asked me what was going on and when I wanted to, I would. Today was one of those days when I wanted to share with her what moved me. - He's the age of Charlotte when... when she... -I know. I looked confused at her who kept talking to me. You're naturally more emotional this year with Charlie. It wasn't just by dropping you off at school, I noticed that many nights you're getting his sleep and I also noticed the tape measure. I measured Charlie as a joke, but he hit 6'20 feet this week Charlotte s last time, things they don't forget.
- Soon I'm going to be completely predictable for you. I joked, but my wife didn't fall for the joke that her off. She never really liked this story of being transparent to me, she never understood. Tell me about her. Teresa asked and I took a deep breath. -I still can't get much.. I paused long, searching for the memories. She was a beautiful, lovely little girl, sweet and a little arrogant, like me. I was learning to play the piano, it was Angela's dream. It's one of the last memories I have of them, I arrived a day early and watched them. Charlotte didn't look good for the piano, I think she liked to make sounds on that object that barely matched the d cor of the house, but it was important to Angela.. Charlotte loved the dolls, had millions of them, but one in particular, smelling and face of strawberry,, was the favorite. It was a very ugly doll by the way, but shelved and so I bought the o shampoo that resembled the smell of the doll. Strawberry with whipped cream. I paused wondering if i continued or not, but Lisbon held my hand again knowing that this smell was important to me, even though Red John destroyed it. But now I wanted to move on.. Last week would be her birthday, Teresa. She would be an adult agora, practically the age of Any. I took another break watching my son get up after falling a tumble. He didn't cry, which filled me with pride. Watching Charlie live from now on is going to be a new experience for me. I don't know if you understand, but I'm so t o glad por he moving on. And I let my tears fall as I listened to the children's laughter in the distance and was embraced by my wife. -He's going to. I heard Teresa tell me. And I think I understand. And I know that's why you take the job at the school, even though I realize you've been enjoying it more and more than the FBl.. She still didn't swallow this job very well, she believed that i wouldn't actually let Charlie grow up and live his own experiences.
- I've been thinking about it. And this week I received an interesting proposal from Director Jones. My wife looked at me surprised. The school is welcoming five autistic students, a new and experimental program. They want me working with them after I managed to interact with one of them satisfactorily. The kid didn't look at anyone at the interview, but he seemed to be pretty upset with me.. And I smiled genuinely, because I had that effect on people.
-Jane, that's wonderful. Wonderful. I think it's going to be a big step for you.. Then I saw my wife's eyes get wet and that was one of the things That pleased me most about our relationship. We were really happy for the other, even if we didn't agree with the choices.. Cho will be surprised, he keeps betting that one day you'll go back to the FBl, the day Charles send you away to go out with his friends..
Never, I told her. I didn't miss dealing with death, more and more I thought about working alive. -
All the kids were in the same hotel room and I made Teresa's brother assure me that an adult would be responsible for them. Even if we opened up to keep Charles with us in the same room, was something serious for me, everyone understood. And when her sister-in-law went to sleep with the kids, I relaxed a little. I booked a nice restaurant in Chicago so Teresa and I could have a good time alone. I was feeling like talking to her about things that there was never room in our lives. - Wine, pasta, cloth napkin, live ambient music. What are we celebrating? Teresa smiled openly at me, impressed by the place. It was beautiful, romantic and discreet, as the moment demanded. Our table was in the background and allowed us a beautiful view of the city of Chicago, my wife's homeland. A place she tries to erase from existence, but that shapes her more than she is able to distinguish. Life, Lisbon. Your brother's happiness. Our happiness. You confess you doubted I'd make it, will you? I smiled seductively at her. When we started our relationship, despite the bubble of happiness, there was always fear if I could move on.
- Never, I always knew you'd be able to make me happy if you wanted to.. But sometimes I doubted myself if I could make you happy.
-Is that right? Why didn't you ever tell me? -I thought you knew. You always know how I feel.. -Not always. I answered her. - Oh, you don't have to please me. You knew all the times I was mad at you, to the point of hitting you, when I thought you were being crazy, or taking it hard. Even when I fell in love. She smiled shy. - Well, not exactly the moment, Teresa, but when you were jealous of Lorelei, I couldn't help but notice. You didn't have to be psychic.. - It wasn't jealousy, it was concern about what you could do. She spoke angry and I smiled. Lorelei has always been a tense point between us, or it was, I think, because I have no problem talking about her now. Nor does Teresa seem to care. Subject overcome, amen!
- I was startled when I realized that you were interested in me, Lisbon, in a different way as a boss and employee. - Did you get scared?. - Of course ! Don't get me wrong, but you are honest to anyone who looks at you. This is one of the things that I like most about you and that gives me comfort. And although you think it makes it less interesting, it actually makes you adorable. But I, at that time, had my revenge to get it and when I noticed the interest of a woman I would run away, show the ring and move on. Or else the moment lived. I couldn't create a link. Lorelei, she connected with me, perhaps because we were broken in the same way, but I did not exercise the control she needed to live. It was not a big bond. So in the middle of it all, I realized your interest. You would be a distraction that I couldn't allow, so I threw the discovery in a corner of my memory palace, but it was too late to protect myself. - Will it be protected ? - yes, part of focusing on revenge required no one to come near me. But I came to like being with you.. Lorelei, Barlow, anyone with good reading was able to perceive our "care".. But I needed to work things out with Red John. I don't think I ever told you that, but my idea when I broke up with him was to break up with me, too. But I couldn't, and I didn't make a plan. We didn't talk about Red John anymore, I didn't have to, it was a closed matter in my life. - What do you mean, break up with you? What do you mean, plan?
-yes, I killed the sheriff, and i soon pointed the gun at me, but I couldn't pull the trigger. Graces to you and all the portion of life you had returned to me. So the solution was to run away to understand, it's my pattern, you know well. When I came back from that island, Teresa, I was missing you so much, but I knew you deserved someone better than a fugitive. So my plan was to stand by you as a friend, take care of you until I found someone good enough to make you happy. She really smiled, laughed at actually. What a wonderful thing time is, if I had told Teresa that when I actually got back from the island, she possibly would have shot me. - Then Pike messed up your plan.. She made the conclusion I expected, predictable and lovely.
- On the contrary, he was perfect. I wouldn't have thought of anyone better. Although it got too fast, fit perfectly well and I would deliver it to him.. Jane, you really can't think you controlled me that much, can you? Give me to him, like I'm an offering. - As if you were my offering for life. I would give you to a good man, as honest as you, who would make you happy and who you seemed to like. There would be no guilt and I could complete my personal plan, I would depart from this life.
- Oh my God, you wouldn t have the guts. Would it?
- I didn't think I deserved to live, Lisbon. You know more than anyone about this and the countless times I blame myself. But I didn't have the guts, I couldn't turn you in to someone nice like Pike. And you didn't help either, it always seemed like you were waiting for me to say something.. - And then you made that stupid plan, the letter, the inn.
- It wasn't one of my most brilliant ideas, but you would declare yourself to me and I'd tell myself I couldn't make you suffer. That you loved me for many years, you were by my side and that so there was no way to say no to you, it would be justified for life the idea of being by your side..
- How absurd, Jane, even for you. Teresa stared at me with firm, angry eyes.
- It seemed like a great plan, but you broke your pattern of behavior and would have left if I hadn't acted in time.. You left me with an absurd fear of losing you, so I broke into the plane and told you how I felt. A broken ankle, 15 days suspension that Abbott curiously made coincide with Teresa's vacation and a blossomed romance. It really wasn't the smartest idea I had, but the result was wonderful. When I was released and arrived in Austin, I spent days discovering the delights of being Teresa, in bedroom Lisbon s partner, in bed and in life. Although we've been friends for so long, and maybe that's why we spend time still getting to know each other as a man and a woman. But they were discovered wonderful to know that the all tough Teresa Lisbon was a tremendous little woman in a relationship, liked to sleep hugging me, loved to be completely kissed before making love and did not hide when something pleased her. And I let myself be completely seduced by this strong woman who breathed uncommittedly when I spoke nonsense in his ear asking me to perform every one of them.. - It was beautiful. And you thought you couldn't make me happy.
- But you also had doubts. It was scary, wasn't it? - Totally! But it was so good not to live with lies anymore, even with all the fear of not being the best choice, of just being a mess on our part. Not to mention that I was never your type, right? Cristina, Erica, Lorelei, all beautiful and feminine. Angela?. Teresa asked nicely, she knew I never spoke about Angela.
I smiled, because the night was supposed to be light and romantic and here, we were digging up the past. I didn't speak about Red John, because the accounts were settled. At least in my head. I paid the price for it, the life I lost before and after I suffocated it. But Angela and Charlotte were different, it was an untouched memory in my head. I was unable to talk about them, it always seemed offensive, I felt ashamed of being happy while they lost their lives. However, I stood before the woman I chose to love again. That I reveal myself. At some point this conversation would come, maybe it was now. We were in neutral territory, away from home, Charlie safe with his cousins, we comfortable with ourselves. It was time.
- You and Angela loved me, despite who I am, what I am. That's my kind of woman, the one who doesn't want to take advantage of what I know how to do. She was tough on me, too, in a different way. As we came from the same world, she didn't care about my scams, that was natural to her. Although when I went on tv and involving the police she asked me tostop. But for the rest, she didn't demand any less. Just like you, there was no manipulation, no gambling. I had to be in one piece.
- Still... Still... yet...
- Miss her? yes, maybe i'll feel it forever. I wish she was breathing, next to me or not. So sometimes it still doesn't seem right to have a chance, but I've forgiven myself enough. I didn't take their lives, it was him. I was the instrument and I will always feel for it, but it was his action. And he paid. I'm not the same Patrick, Teresa. I don t know if you're jealous of Angela or anything, but what I need to tell you is that Patrick Jane who was Angela Riskin s husband died with her and Charlotte. Phew, that was it. It was like taking tons off my shoulders again. This Patrick Jane who's here with you is another man, one Angela wouldn t recognize. - If she was still here, we never would have met. She spoke crest. That was one of the reasons for avoiding this conversation, the comparison.
- I don't know, you possibly would have arrested me, I wasn't a very virtuous man. I m sure you wouldn t like that Patrick Jane thing. I smiled and so did she, knowing that the exercise we did was useless. I don't know if Angela was alive, she would have stayed with Teresa, I don't know if we'd still be happy, Angela and I. I don't control fate, that's not how life works. But I had a second chance and I have a lot to thank for live it.
That's why I toasted the night. - To you, that's my second chance, Teresa. I offered her toast and she put her glass in mine.
- To us, we've won a lot to be here and now, together.. That night making love to Teresa was a different celebration. We finished our dinner, the dessert ice cream and followed the quiet ones to our comfortable hotel room. Big bed, soft sheets, bullets on the pillow. Everything as Teresa likes and as I also appreciated again. Our house was comfortable for both of us, despite being the rustic hut I had once imagined. It was rustic and comfortable, I did an extraordinary job there. But there were Teresa's touches, sheets of millions of threads, lots of pillows, flowers on the table, ornaments from her childhood. It was worth it. I resisted the temptation to see if everything was okay with Charles, allowing me to let life go its way, not worry, unless it was for the woman who was with me. She nestled me as we opened the bedroom door and when we came in there wasn't much worry where we'd throw our clothes. I lay Teresa on that mattress and stood on top of her, kissing her neck and lap as she so much liked, enjoying the new perfume she had bought and that she would swear that had not noticed. It was woody, though soft. And as she unbuttoned the buttons on my vest I allowed her access to my entire chest I got lost in her personal fragrance, which was almost hidden in that good perfume she chose. It was nice to feel Teresa s nails strolling through my flesh, it was a firm affection, but never sore and excited me in moments.
- It's great to be with you, Teresa. I love you! I was able to tell you before penetrating it became my only goal. - I love you too. I heard her saying as she led me to where I liked her most, her hands walking on my back, her breathing fast. There were days when Teresa commanded this activity, but not today, today I wanted to be the lord of all this time. Today I wanted to make her satisfied and exhausted, even if for this I also had to lose all notion of privacy. Delivery, delivery. It's never a one-way street.
And nothing mattered but the two of us.. We won't talk until a while later. - You think Jimmy's going to be happy with Lucy? They seem inconsequential to me and now with a child on the way.. It was the phrase I heard after the nap I took, it was dawn, the city was quiet and we were naked and snuggled up in the big bedroom bed.
- How do you know? Only time will tell, we ourselves weren't sure it could work. It is the search, Lisbon, that makes life very pleasant. I was going to start kiss her again and tell her to forget about Jimmy and Lucy when she knocked on the door cut our mood.. - Mam? I heard Charlie's voice on the other side of the door, my heart racing, I was petrified for a moment and then Teresa was quicker and put on a robe while I was looking for a short sand and she opened the door.
- Oh, baby, what happened? I saw her looking at our son as her sister-in-law smiled behind him.
- I missed you and Dad. Is it okay if I sleep here with you? I heard Charlie and Karen say that he thought we were gone, so he decided to bring him in.
- Of course not, come here. I said as I pulled him in and Teresa was talking to Karen outside the room. But strangely my son didn't say anything else, he just hugged me and said he liked to sleep next to us. Teresa came in soon after and looked at me quietly while Charles was practically asleep. - Karen said he was fine, but as she knows he never got away from us, decided to bring him in so he would feel safe and protected by her.. - Nothing like being a mother of four, huh? She's good, she knows how to build trust with a child. I wanted another round with you, or two.
- You re going to get another chance.
- I'm counting on it.. And wellie down with Charlie among us, happy and satisfied. CAP 3 It's amazing how fast time goes by when working with a child. I was feeling very challenged with the autism project and stimulated as never before. Charlie also felt my change, which I considered positive. I think him winning charlotte s age did me good, I managed to get him free at school with his friends. On the days when I didn't have classes with my little group, Charlie would be hitchhiking with David's father, whose house was on our way and they were the same age. The other day Charlie even spent the night there. I progressed in the eye, according to my wife.
In almost two months he would be six years old and forth first time we would celebrate the birthday of our son full of children of the same age. He was still deciding what theme he wanted for his little party, so we could prepare everything and he'd call Teresa's school girls, our friends and relatives.
Actually my wife was right, putting him in school was the best decision we made. I saw Charlie happily jumping with his teammates at recess, falling and getting up, even fighting and felt that life was moving on as it had to be. I was at peace as I hadn't lived in a long time, something so extraordinary that when Cho called me to help me with a case, I didn't even get bored. It wasn't something very elaborate and I think he just wanted to see me, he did something like that every now and then, my closed, loving Oriental friend. I can admit it's gratifying to be well received by that team, but it really was nice to see Wylie's change from shy nerd to respected FBI and mysteriously a great shooter. Many, many times Lisbon told me that we would form a foolproof duo if we used our powers for evil. Wylie was an expert computer analyst and I was a people analyst, if we could get together, we could take money from whoever crossed our path. But luckily we understand the responsibility of our choices. Well, it took me a while, but Wylie didn't, he's always been a good guy.
- It's a pleasure to see you again, Jane. The little guy told me he was smiling, scolding me that I'm much more dark now.
- I've been getting a lot in the sun, my students like the clarity and I need to capture their full attention. And then I started talking excitedly about my new job and asking for help in computer programs aimed at my new audience. It wasn't easy to capture the attention of special children and that was the fun of it, it wasn't just crimes that needed to be difficult. Wylie was very excited about me, he said he even doubted that I could stay away from the FBl or away from trying to control Agent Lisbon's security. Mas I was doing very well. Teresa's safety would always worry me, but it was her job, there wasn't much I could do since she loved the profession.
-Lisbon didn't lie when she said you were very excited, so I'm not going to take up too much of your time. That was Cho, straight and straight. He was still head of the FBl, including Lisbon, and it was only for them that I was still helping solve some cases. I had done a training, taught him, Lisbon and Wylie some personal tricks and readings. They were getting better and better, but when the doubt falls on some colleague I was usually called.. - Oh, Jane, when I m done with Cho I'd like to talk to you about something. I froze, I had completely forgotten my da mother's story, but the solemn tone only indicated to me that it was the answers. Lisbon hadn t said anything, but I threw the doubts over there and followed Cho to evaluate the profiles of a possible traitor on Pike s team in Washington.
Lisbon had told me that Pike was in trouble and searched for them, several works of art were being stolen from inside the FBI at headquarters in Washington and as much as they tried to find out who it might be, they were unsuccessful. When I sketched out the beginning of a jealousy for Teresa to review Marcus, she laughed at my step pure idea, saying that he had also married and was very happy with Amanda, security agent in Washington. And that they were having a child.
And I wanted to believe my wife, but I changed my mind the minute I observed Pike in Cho s office.. He looked much older, tired, gray hair and badly cut giving him an air of slouch that he never had before.. It seemed to someone that really needed help, ring on the finger, but nothing indicated a happy marriage, companionship, care and partnership. At first reading I intuited that he made the same mistake he tried with Teresa, Marcus Pike was hurried in affection, which is a full plate for misconceptions. Pike usually goes very fast and very intense without clearly realizing how the relationship develops. In the case with Teresa, who also involved me, he asked her to marry him in record time and wanted to take her far away from me. Without realizing it he forced me to make a decision about Lisbon, which did me a tremendous good. Trying to break us up, it ended up uniting us.
Pike spoke to me in a light tone, but even his voice seemed to be tired. He seemed defeated, yet congratulated me on Charles and said I looked well, rested. I explained to him that not working with death daily did me a lot of good.
So when we finished the meeting, before he left, we watched Lisbon give orders to the interns and look at Cho as they would the operation I had suggested. Marcus Pike told me something I really didn't expect.
- I never had the slightest chance, did I? . He looked at me from the side. With her. And he pointed at Teresa. No, I turned face him and stared him in the eye. I was reborn to be by Teresa s side. We said goodbye there, a while later i would have heard that my plan had worked and the traitor had been caught. Agent Junior had not only passed on information to the art thieves but also had an affair with Marcus' new wife, which didn't surprise me. But it was a subject that I commented on with Teresa briefly, not wanting to delve into this past. Lisbon had liked Pike. When she told me about the phone call where she told him she wasn't getting married anymore, or moving to Washington, she was visibly upset that she hurt him. I didn't like doing that much either. Mas Pike wasn't the right guy.
The right guy was me. -
And then I went to Wylie so he'd tell me if about my mom.. I had so much work forgotten about this subject, really. However, my son didn't seem to have convinced himself because, on a few nights before he went to sleep, he asked me about my mother. Maybe it was the stage where he was with Teresa. He wanted independence and lap at the same time and I should be a mirror. But and I was a father, our relationship was of camaraderie and a certain agreement to follow the orders of the boss of our house.
Teresa was a mother, he needed to decide between love and obedience and forehand. He wanted the comparison with me. And since I didn't, he got a little confused. Wylie began to speak quickly, nervously, dilated pupils. Which, of course, made me conclude that nothing good would come out of that conversation, so I was preparing myself, there in those seconds since in the time I had to think about it I just ignored it.
My mother was a big hole in here, which curiously made me have several positive memories with my father. Although severe, my father took care of me and made me be what I am. It made me proud to be a Jane, of our circus lineage, of the training he gave me and how much I've overcome him. Between mistakes and defects, he did a good job. Even with my faults, I'm not a bad person.
- Well, I started from the beginning, Jane. I didn't find much, our certificate system took a while to be unified and its home staff always lived the margins of official statistics. And you haven't found any record that suggested marriage between your parents, Samantha Anne Fox's birth certificate has never been updated.. I searched for this name in various government systems and found nothing satisfactory, but Agent Lisbon had told me that her mother ate the first name, that's when and i searched for Anne Fox or Anne Jane. I didn't find anything with the last name Jane, but Anne Fox lived near Sacramento her whole life. She got a job as a nanny, then worked at a casino in Las Vegas.. I felt Lisbon stop by my side and make a little hope, that sweating cold.
-Jane, if you re not comfortable, we're going to go on another time. Teresa told me, fondly. -No, Wylie, you did a very good job. I feel like there's more to it.
-Well, yes. I find a very little name to do a search, so I thought i'd cross-reference some variables, so we can determine the existence of a person. You taught me that, we're all a set of things.. I was amazed, Wylie, of all people, that's what you learned most from me. If it wasn't for shyness, he'd be a great reader of people. I think in the future I'm going to ask Cho to work on this kid's resourcefulness, he's got a lot of future. -Wylie, I'm really impressed with you. We need to spend more time together. I praised him.
- Thank you, Jane, but I need to keep my line of honesty intact. I smiled at the joke and he kept talking. Well, I cross-named her mother first with her father's name, Aldo Jane, and that's when I found out that they did little numbers of magic and she was an assistant in independent circuses in the '60s and '70s. There is little about it and I only found reports because there was a fire in a circus that they worked for, which was not what you and your father lived in afterwards.. There was a big fire at the end of a show in 1979, the public had already left almost all, but a girl went to the hospital with canvas burns. And she had gotten lost in the confusion and her grandpa was looking for her when she had a cardiac syncope. The girl said she was save by a blonde woman with curly hair, who pulled her out of the smoke. By all accounts you would have almost 4 years, in the records of the fire there is the name of your father with minor burns on his hands and the official refusal to go to the hospital.
- Oh yes, I have a vague memory of a smoke, my father with me on my lap. And then the little scars on his wrists that made him always walk in fulfilled sleeve shirts.. - Well, other archives of the 70s are very bad, but the memory of the police officers of the time are a burst , the fact that there can be no photos at the time made them descriptive in the extreme when narrating what happened. I read the report of the officer who hand Id the case and he was categorical in claiming that it was a criminal act, done by someone with a lot of anger and a desire to incriminate someone else. Few people in the circus wanted to talk to the police, only one man, Aldo, said that his wife was to blame for all that, she was cheating on him, luckily he had managed to save his son. Still he had to explain why his number that day involved gasoline and while Aldo was detained you stayed for a few days...
- In Carson Springs, a children's shelter. I remember that, me and a few other kids in that house. I don't know how long I stayed, but my father picked me up, I can remember him coming in a very bright plaid shirt to take me away. That's when we got back to the circus that Pete's coming today. - Yes, the fire report was inconclusive and the only one killed already had heart problems.. But none of that would lead me to Anne Fox. I cross-checked your mother's name with yours, found nothing, crossed her name with some other people in the police report, nothing either. So I looked up something in your CBI records and saw that when you joined the police you provided a list of your former clients, people you regularly attended to make predictions.. - And ... This time it was Teresa who rushed him.
- Anne Fox was a diarist or nanny in several houses where you attended, Jane. Usually the ones you stayed with the most, it's possible that you've met her a few times, without even noting it.. I got dizzy. Would it be possible? - I would have noticed, I would have noticed. One of the secrets of my success was talking to servants, knowing the habits of home and people. I would have noticed the same person. - Por this I called some people you answered. And I have no difficulty finding people who keep good memories of the work you did. Wylie seemed surprised. If he knew about my stories.
- Why Wylie, I was a fraud, but a very good fraud. I smiled at him.
- I don't know who was weirder, you or people. But I asked some about a maid, Anne Fox,, and some remembered her. They said she showed up looking for a job, stayed a while and then left without further explanation. People remembered her because she always smelled of Flamboyant and liked to play with the kids in hypnosis..
She wanted to get closer. Lisbon's the one who said it. - No, she would have done it on the first client, I never changed addresses. Even after I got married, I stayed in the same house. That's right. People didn't confirm that she asked for your address, some remembered that she talked about you, no big deal.. Well, Jane, I think she... she... Wylie was too serious. - I was afraid of my father, especially after the fire.. -Yes, I m sorry.
I didn't know what to say. My father was a severe man, liked a drink, but I have no memory that he was violent. Did my mom erase it from my head? Jane, I also asked Wylie to tell Pete about his mother. Lisbon spoke to me serenely. He said your father went to work with them when you were a kid, just the two of you came and he never said anything specific, just that he needed security. As he knew Barlow, they accepted him back. - And I kept looking but found nothing relevant, under jobs, always fast, until the Casino, which was her last place of work about 1 years before the ... well, before the fact that changed your whole life. She left her job because she was admitted to Sacramento General Hospital for cancer treatment. Andu got a piece of the labor record, there s not much digitized from that early 2000s. But I got the picture from the hospital records.. Wylie ended up saying that my mother had a lung cancer treatment, there she said she smoked a lot.
I took the paper without looking right at it, half airborne with everything I heard. A picture of my mother. Then I went down my eyes and saw a woman's face in their relatively 50s, at most 50pounds, curly blonde hair like Charlotte s and mine, and something that impressed me. Your eyes. My eyes. We had the same pulled in the eyes that gave us an air of sadness and also a certain charm. It's my mom. -Where is it? -What's going on? Lisbon asked, not understanding the conclusion of all this. -Where is it?
-How do you know? Wylie asked.
- It's of course from your sad face and Lisbon's surprise that you didn t know what to do with the information and didn't tell her. The relatively my mother watched me for a long time without wanting to approach out of fear or guilt, I have no idea. But before she made up her mind, life took heraway.
- She was hospitalized 22 days, doctors described it as a sudden pulmonary disease unresponsive to any therapy.
-Where, Wylie?
- Sacramento Cemetery. I kept waiting because it didn't seem like everything. What about Jane?
-Yes, I m sorry.
- The grave she is two rows behind the... ... He didn't finish, nor was he accurate.. It's under are flamboyant f. The only one in the whole cemetery. The other trees are hibiscus.
I had a strange fool at that moment, I remembered the most sad day of my life.
My family s funeral. And I were a finished man, but I made sure to take care of everything. I'm not even sure how I was able to warn people, pick flowers, the color of the clothes, the burial place.
I was in the cemetery of Sacramento in the morning, wanted the best place to leave them and chose the location of the tombs under the only tree with reddish leaves, gave a contradictory beauty to the place. The tree that gave me a good feeling, I remember that when it was all over remained sitting in the cemetery, below the tree, its smell giving me a kind of well-being, something close to comfort. My God, it was a memory of my mother.. The smell of the wooded tree of large, velvety leaves. Several times I found myself looking at these trees without ever giving due value, only admiring their beauty, but never thought there was any special feeling..
- Who paid for her burial? I came out of memory and came back to reality. - Jane, too bad the FBI lost you, few people make connections that fast. Who paid for her mother's burial was Melissa Sky, the little girl saved by her in the fire in the 1970s. Wylie responded proudly by giving me a role, an address of Melissa Sky Carter in Austin.. And Jane, he concluded, I didn t talk to her.
I thanked Wylie and left with Lisbon from FBI headquarters. Millions of things in my head and not knowing how to deal with any of them. Teresa didn't say anything, let the silence go into our car while we were going to pick up Charlie from school. I'd look out the window and see the cars coming by, thinking about my mother, who I barely knew and i'll never know it was, except that apparently she set fire to a circus to get away from my father and helped a little girl in this work. I'm sure guilty of the girl's grandma's death.
I saw Charlie say goodbye to the inspector and come running towards his mother, hugging her strong as she told the news. He liked to talk about everything he learned at school and how much they said he was smart for his age. He got in the car and kissed me on the cheek charging me for the stop at Joy's ice cream I promised last week.
- Daddy's not in a lot of mood today, my love. Teresa started telling him and although I really hate to disappoint Charlie, today I needed silence and quiet.
- I've already chosen the theme of my party.. Charlie spoke awaiting my reaction, maybe trying to cheer me up.
- Well, we can buy ice cream at the drive thru then. I answer on my son. That was the grace of children, our world could be falling apart that for children life was always still light. - And when we get home we sit on the porch for you to do your revelation. Teresa responded by changing the direction of the car. Joy s ice cream was our favorite since before Charlie, there was a franchise near the former CBI's office and several times Lisbon and I took a Sunday before the solution of a case.
Now we kept the ice cream tradition in our house, mine and Teresa's, the Jane family. The was the cabin I gave a hell of a lot to renovate. Teresa s pregnancy made me rush some rooms, in my plant there was not a baby room, but it was with great pleasure that I divided the suite into two comfortable rooms, one to house our son.
After Charlie was born, I managed to finish everything more calmly, Lisbon went back to part-time work for a while and then I was able to build a giant father-son relationship with Charlie. We were together all day and I made the quietest makeover we've ever heard. The result of the reform pleased me deeply, especially when I saw approval in Teresa's eyes. My wife was always more urban, she had to learn to connect with nature. But when Charlie started having fun with the dog, the duck and the cats she gave in and asked me to put one of those rocking chairs on the porch that accommodated two or three people. The night, when Charlie was asleep, the balcony was the place we had to talk about my insecure about the future, about her fears about motherhood. It was also the place for us to date. There on the porch we looked at the lake and talked about our life.
Today Teresa held out a colorful towel and spread pillows on the floor to eat the ice cream. I was still quiet, but Charlie spoke for all of us. He told of his colleagues, his games, his homework and what he wanted for his birthday party. Six years.
- I want circus. He spoke solemnly. I thought I heard wrong. I never told Charlie about the circus, even though I did coin tricks to amuse him, but I didn't even remember taking him to the circus. I mean, once Pete's circus was in town and I went to see my friend to show Charles.. But we're not staying for the show.
-Why is that? It was Teresa who asked. -Because it's colorful. And it has lights. He spoke and everything was clear. No hidden mystery, just a child wanting to have good times with friends. - Then we ll have the best circus party we've ever heard. Invite whoever you want. I said surprised, but at the same time, happy.
Charlie even played with me as a puzzle before we asked him to take a shower. So I took him to his room and then he fell asleep. This was one of the nights I thought about staying on the porch watching time go by, thinking about my mother and what I would find when I talked to Melissa Carter, but I didn't feel like it. As in recent times, with every event in my life I felt like running to Teresa, lying next to her and talking a little about our different and complementary points of view. Then I saw myself going back to my room and lying in bed, hugging my wife. -How are you doing? She said soft.
-With what exactly? Today was a busy day. I smiled as she turned to me and put her head on my chest, in a position i know she loved to stay in. - Circus, Jane, who could bet on that? She spoke carefully, even though I knew she didn't want to talk about it. The lights and colors explained everything, she knew that the fact of coming from the circus was never a cause for shame for me. I was happy there. I still saw myself explaining.
- The circus is not a bad place for early childhood, Teresa. When I was Charlie's age I loved watching people on the Ferris wheel, the whole drive pleased me. Colors and lights.. Living on the road, having no rules, learning tricks. It was wonderful, actually.
-And when did you change? - When I became part of the show. At first, I was only 7 years old when my father showed me the first time, I could barely speak the name of the objects right. It was still fun. Then it became an obligation and then money. Then it became a must and then a means of life. I was part of the show for so long, I thought to myself. Until I found Angela the same will that I had and could not externalize, which was to run away from there and live another life. No city changes, no rush. - Does it bother you the theme Charles chose? - no, I'm happy to live that playful side of the circus through his eyes. Besides, I want to ask Pete to program the best children's entertainment that one has news. -Jane, you're not going to teach the kids anything illegal, are you? -Of course I m not. I lied. Part of the fun was learning to fool each other, but they'd just be innocent pranks. -What about your mother? What do you want to do? -Talk to Melissa, but I want you to be there with me. Nearby tombs, Lisbon. Life is really interested.
- Or just make sense, Jane. Although you do not believe in the afterlife, sometimes they are also together on the spiritual plane. I thought I d make a little joke about the location of our deposit indicate with whom we will be in the afterlife, but it was not the time.
CAP 4 The house was on top of a hilling a common neighborhood of Austin. The house wasn't big, but it was nice. We'd open the gate and go up about 1,000 feet. Lisbon was in front, guiding me, like he's been doing since we met. And she had scheduled this visit and told me ,Melissa was excited to receive us.
I had no idea what would come out of this visit, but my heart seemed to come out of my chest. Tears were crying out of my face even before we reached the door. Teresa squeezed my mother when a redhead woman, slightly older than me emerged in our field of vision. She had a broad and beautiful smile and said she was waiting for us.. - Patrick Jane, I've been waiting for this moment for years. I have so much to tell you. Melissa hugged me tightly as she sat on a couch that seemed to have had better days. There were also colorful cushions in every corner of the room and on the wall a large photo of a red flamboyant, like that of the cemetery.
Melissa served me a tea of red hue, like the flamboyant flowers, which she said was her mother's favorite drink, Anne. From our mother, she corrected.. And then Melissa opened her heart:
"I was going to turn 9 and I insisted that my grandfather take me to the circus. They always passed through Sacramento but we never went, my grandfather had heart problems and leaving home always required special care. He got tired for good. But that night I was very excited because he wanted to give me this birthday present. My parents died and I didn't even remember them and my grandfather was the one who stayed with me, we didn't have any more family around. When the show was over, I ran out to review the elephant, my grandfather walked slowly so I screamed that I would meet him at the door, next to the popcorn cart. So, when almost everyone had left there was an explosion and fire on the canvas. A crazy rush started and I saw my grandfather coming towards me panting, so he passed out. I started screaming when a woman saw me, she swerved the direction, grabbed me and took me away from the smoke as we watched the police and the fire department approach. She asked me my name and if I was okay, who could I warn. That s when you noticed my burns. I explained to her that there was no one and when I saw my grandfather being rescued by ambulance, I ran towards her and the woman stood there looking at me, thoughtful.
My grandfather arrived dead at the hospital, I was treated and was waiting for what would happen to me when Anne appeared squeal thing at the hospital door. She said she was a distant aunt of mine, presented a wallet with the name Anne Fox and invented a whole story that my grandfather was her uncle, that I was the daughter of a very dear cousin, even had been raised together. It was so convincing that the officer released me under the care of her and I, in the face of all that situation, did not even deny..
We, me and my grandfather, lived in a little house far from Sacramento, a village almost lost in the middle of nowhere. And only years later Did Anne tell me it was the perfect hiding place for her. She started living there with me, taking care of me like a mother and without telling me much of why she did it..
I had to grow up so she had the guts to tell me that actually, that night, she was running away from a husband who sucked her to exhaustion for a fitness she possessed, but it worked like a curse. She said she no longer wanted to be used by her husband, he knew her skills for hypnosis, reading people, but she really liked making teas. He was a good magician, but he didn't have The Touch, according to Anne. He lacked the kilo that was necessary for a number to look something of another dimension. Anne said that ever since Aldo met her in a circus lost on a Canadian border, he seduced her with promises of a normal life, but always used her to make money. And she was tired of never getting anywhere. Not having a fixed house, nothing. She longed to stop and just live. Anne made tea out of whatever leaf she could find. She had an obsession with trees, mostly for a red flamboyant. She until she found a nice mixture that gave the same shade of those leaves. And found with hibiscus and cherry. This guaranteed us a small monthly income for us to live on. My mother, Anne, took care of me and taught me a few tricks. Sometimes we worked on signs, but she was afraid of being discovered by the circus so we didn t get much. Only when the money was squeezing.
And so, I grew up, met Mr. Carter, he's a truck driver and we got married. We continued to live in Sacramento, at that time Anne worked as a diarist and nanny, but never stayed at home. Then she worked in a casino, but she got caught trying to use a card-counting trick. I needed money for the wedding.
Only when I got pregnant did she have the guts to tell you about you. She said she had a son, who had stayed with his father because she couldn't take him the day of the fire. And that she had discovered her son on a TV show recently, that her son was a star.
She was so proud. She wishes she had been like you, using the gift to bring people hope. But she never succeeded, she was always afraid of what she saw in others.
And she was so afraid to look for you. So, you told me about the houses you worked on to know what you were doing, if people were happy with your gift. She called it a gift, although she suspected it was only her father's good training, in the face of a natural aptitude that her father's family possessed. She said it was a shame that her father didn't inherit that aptitude in my intensity, so she always had to lean on others to succeed. But it looked like you beat him.
I asked her why we didn't approach you, but she said if you pulled on your father, you'd never forgive her. So, she was happy to know that you were okay and happy.
She went back to work in a casino, but unfortunately, one day she had a very strong cough, like never before. He got a very cold flu, but he didn't want to be treated. When we got to her at the hospital, there wasn't much to do. The doctor said his lungs were compromised. Anne smoked her whole life, made numbers swallowing fire on the signal, always slept on the porch in the hammock. You always liked a drink. She fed very badly too, except for the tea, she barely ate.
She died in just over 20 days. We talked a lot about her time in the hospital, that s when she told me about her life in the circus with her father, about you and the happiness of being a mother. But he wouldn't let me look for him so he could see her.
And asked me to look for you when she was there. And say she loved him very much, even from a distance. That she was very proud of you. I couldn't look for you at the time because I fell into deep grief when she left, had children, heterogenized, take care of the house, it was difficult.
In the meantime, my husband got a job in Austin and we moved here. I had given up looking for you, but I had to go back to Sacramento to sell our house. It had been a year since Anne had left and the local newspaper that day was passing on what had happened to her first family, Mr Jane.
So, I went to the burial of his wife and daughter and watched you from a far. You seemed to me like a man so devastated that I didn't have the guts to approach and tell you about Anne. I thought we'd never get that chance. That Anne would never have her message delivered. I'm happy with your visit. Your mother wanted me to tell you these things, that you never doubt how much she loved you. And that if she left you, it was because she believed you'd have a better life than she could give you. We really lived with a lot of difficulty. Before leaving she made me one last request, to be buried under a shadow of a flamboyant, her favorite tree. I wanted to know why. She said that long ago, on a beautiful night and a sky full of stars, in a lost city in the interior of the country, she was under a red flamboyant with her first boyfriend. That night she gave herself to a love that scared her as much as attracted her. That s when your son was raised. Being under that tree would always connect her to him."
And that was it. More than forty years of absence summarized in an exciting and very dedicated testimony. It's my mom. - Do you know they're under the same que elas tree? Two rows apart? Melissa ended up asking me, a little scared to see my tears run down.
I couldn t answer, I just nodded my head when Melissa said they must have had some connection. It was Teresa who answered yes and said we were happy to hear all this.
My "sister" ended up giving me some pictures of our mother, from the album she kept.. Random situations of a person I barely knew. My mother in a green park, at Melissa's school graduation, then much thinner, my mother characterized to go to the traffic sign to earn some money, under the same tree that adorned the photo of Melissa's room.. I'd like to say it touched me somehow, but I still didn't know what it all caused me. Melissa still mand invited to meet her teenage children, Walther and Alex, and said she was glad I found happiness again alongside Teresa. And he said he'd like to keep in touch and meet my son.. And I thanked for everything monosyllabically and left her house with the intention of never coming back.
That day I asked Teresa to drop me off at the central Austin park, I needed to walk a little.
I don't even know how long I've been wandering the streets, crying sometimes, thinking about life. My mother had also made a decision that cost the life of an innocent person. And he redeemed himself, too. You didn't have to add two plus two to know she set the fire, maybe she'd come back for me when she saw Melissa disoriented in the smoke. And in the face of what he had done, he made the right decision at the time. What an interesting cycle of life we have, I thought.
I don't know how long I walked, but stay home late at night, Charlie was already asleep so I just kissed him and went into the kitchen to prepare a tea in the shade of my mother's favorite tree, with a flavor that would possibly please her too. Tea was what connected us. And the skills I always thought I inherited from my father also came sharpened because of her. I put the kettle to a boil, I was calmer after all. That was my story. She was beautiful, ordinary and so dramatic, but she was honest. I liked that. After a while I heard the noises of the door opening. My wife came and stared at me, worried. -Is everything all right? - I don't know, I guess so. It's a hell of a story, isn't it? My father should demand from my mother as much as he demanded of me afterwards. Maybe he also trained her thoroughly. And Melissa doesn't know, but my mother killed her grandfather in that fire.. I served a mug of tea to Teresa, not that she appreciated it, she always preferred coffee, but I needed to share with her this flavor that was part of my mother's life. She accepted without arguing, sitting on the bench while her sweater rose by the legs.
-Yes, I m sorry. And your mother felt responsible for the girl. It's a family trait, I presume..
-What do you mean, you don't know? I approached her, standing in front of her and passing my hands across the exposed expanse of my wife's legs.
- Jane, your psychiatrist, your brother-in-law, your circus friends, the CBl, me. You pay your debts to the last penny. It was true, I had a sense of justice and to help those who helped me that was almost as obsessive as my desire for revenge.
- I wish I could hide some things from you, Teresa. You scare me like that.. I kept watching her. Teresa has the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen in my life, plus dark brown hair that suit her very well, especially when cut into bangs. She's a great woman.. You're not a debt, you know. I answered trying to make fun of you. And a little charm too. It seems to have worked because she passed her legs around my waist, trapping me right next to her.
- I really hope it's not, because I'm expensive, Mr. Jane. She smiled at me, giving lightness to the mood, seducing me. Blinking those eyes that appealed to me and made me wish I was with her alone and isolated from the world.
- I know and I pay. I kissed her slowly in our kitchen. The day could have been a lot harder if she wasn't there for me. And I d pay a lot more to have you in my life, Lisbon. And then I carried her into our room, to be with her in this sentimental connection that was very good to my body, but especially my soul.
15 DAYS LATER SACRAMENT CEMETERY It was Teresa's idea and I couldn't say no. She told me we wouldn't talk to Melissa if I didn't want to, but we'd pay a visit to Sacramento. Although I avoid it, sometimes I read my wife. I knew she wanted us to go to my mother's tomb, so the flowers. Three branches of wildflowers and a leaves of flamboyant red on the bouquet. Not the target.
Charles was the back of the rental car, marveling at the ride. Sacramento was a beautiful city and although I lost my first wife and daughter here, I had also found a new meaning for me. A fresh start. It was a mixture of memories.
We arrived at the cemetery and one weekday, in the afternoon, it was practically empty. Few people do this type of event, only when it is necessary to think or ask forgiveness. It wasn't our case there, apparently my wife would like me to pay tribute to my mother. And we found the deposit and I felt ridiculous, I don t even believe in the afterlife. But it was strange to be here, next to Angela and Charlotte and to think I never even looked around. Always lost in my own suffering I never thought about how many other families also have loved ones.. I didn't get to my old family's tomb, stop me at my mother's. There it was, Anne Fox, beloved mother. Right in front of the flamboyant , the only one in the whole park. I recognized the smell I now knew to be hers. I can't say what's missing she's done in my life, in a world of travel and circus performances there's not much room left for sentimentality. But I'm glad she did something good in her life, even though it wasn't for me. Melissa is a good person thanks to her.
-Is that Grandma? I heard Charlie ask, still next to me with a bunch of flowers in his hands. -Yes, it's Grandma. I'm sorry I have little to say about her, baby. I just found out grandma's gone. She didn't live near me, but she was a good person. She was very fond of tea, she had a certain aptitude for hypnosis, she liked children and loved this tree here.. So I explained to my son about the flamboyant while we were depositing the flowers for my mother.
- Aren't we going to put the other flowers on her? I saw him ask. I let Teresa answer him by not trusting myself for this task.
- These aren't for your grandmother, Charles. They're for two other people who are here and daddy loves each other very much. My son looked at me with prying eyes, but I couldn't say anything. I just saw them, him and Teresa, take the branches to their vaults. And I saw them depositing the flowers. A beautiful gesture, at the right time maybe I could tell the story to my son. No, not today.
-Dad, are you okay? I heard Charlie next to me hold my hand. - With you around me I'm always fine. I squeezed my son's hand and thanked my mother for ever taking me to life. And I asked her to take care of Angela and Charlotte for me. And said that and you would always be sorry. To forgive me.
- 30 DAYS LATER Our house was colorful and bright, as Charlie had asked.
Circus. Colors and Lights. Pete was out there distracting the kids with his size and his well-done tricks, with the help of his companion Sam. All Charlie's little school friends were here. All. There were 25 happy and noisy children filling our hut with joy and relaxed.
And I was just looking at our guests: Some of my autistic students also came. They did not socialize, but were stimulated by coins and puzzles. They were further away from the sound, but their parents were thrilled by the cards Barlow played that I let them be fooled while their children had fun. They were happy. Rigsby, Van Pelt and the kids were also here. They always made news and I'd always be happy to bond with them. It took Van Pelt to allow himself to be loved by Rigsby, who though silly was the best man a woman could have by his side. Abbott and Lena came from Washington because they rarely had a chance to see their friends again. She did well as undersecretary and he was glad he didn't have to be my boss. Cho, Kim Fischer and Wylie. My oriental friend was still single, which leads me to the theory that besides everything he had a crush on my Lisbon. She almost hit me when I came up with this and threw my interest in Kim in my face. Which I solemnly ruled out, saying that Kim brought me back from an island to her. Maybe I could even join Cho and Kim, but no, I don't know that my friend would hand I Agent Fischer s pits. And Wylie was with them, we had agreed that he would come to take classes with me on human readings once a week.
Lisbon's brothers with wives and nephews. My brothers-in-law, my new family. People she loves and who I love to love too. They have wonderful, messy and noisy children, but beautiful. My sister fakes with her husband and two children. After the visit to my mother's tomb I thought about it and thought it would be nice to live with Melissa. It would do me good this connection with the past. My wife also agreed with me, so here we were, starting an affection that could heal both of us. My first wife's brother-in-law, the surprise of the night.. When Daniel found out I'd been married and be a father he came to me ,that's years ago. I figured he'd make a scene, but curiously he hugged me and wished all the happiness in the world to Teresa and me. Then there was a conversation with Teresa that she never told me, but I think the crux of the matter was him saying I was a good man, though.
Barlow, who came to check if his granddaughter Caitlin s niece was well looked at. Past and present properly mixed. Life moving on. Six years of Charlie. It was a significant date in so many ways that I don't even know where to start explaining. But I don't think I needed it, the smile stuck to my face said it all. Every vote of my friends saying that they were happy for me, that I seemed fine, explained everything.
I was as or happier than my son.
From afar I saw my wife with my son in my lap and for the first time since the loss of my first family, I felt deserving of everything I had conquered.
Maybe we even embarked on this adventure of being parents again, I found myself dreaming of a little brother for my beloved son.. I'd have to convince Teresa, which we'll like, it's my specialty. And she'd be very angry at first, I'd panic again, but then we'd find out it was the best thing we ever did.
A future with children being happy with us around. It's a plan. But now I need to finish here, Charles and Teresa are asking me to sing congratulations and Charlie makes a point of cutting the cake.
And I hope to receive the first piece !
End
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