Alright, it seems that once again I only have one review, again from AV, so let's look at what he said this time.

You might be the only fanfiction author in the history of the universe (assuming that aliens don't exist and they didn't write any fanfiction stories...)

That's raci- wait, no, that's not the right word… (One Internetting later) It appears the three closest matches for the word I'm looking for are Xenophobic, Anthropocentricand Anterraphobic.

Okay, erase what I said. In the history of the earth to admit that their OC is actually dumb sometimes.

After reading this claim I actually tried pretty hard to disprove it and so far I haven't successful.

Well, this chapter hasn't got much content, so I guess there isn't much I can say about it.

Yeah, same problem with this one. Sorry about that, I just [INSERT WORST EXCUSE EVER HERE].

"Strong enough to cut through even Steel or Titanium with ease."

"Strong enough to cut through even Steel or Titanium with ease."

"Strong enough to cut through even Steel or Titanium with ease."

Fun fact: Nothing happens when you chant a line about it three times. I think.

Next, there are many types of steel, and I would be damned if I ever made the mistake of saying that Hadfield steel, which is used in rock crushers, could be cut through by a "lightweight but strong alloy".

Next, I would rather jump into a pit than say that titanium, the pure form of which is the metal with the highest strength to weight ratio, could be cut with that stupid sword.

It's about now that I should mention that I kind of bended the rules a bit when I wrote out that sentence in that way with those words under that context, but more on that later.

Finally, shoutout to Shiranai Atsune for following and miezi10 for favouriting 私は、キラ/ I, Kira.

(Rugo's POV)

Once I'm sure Chris is fully awake I ask, 'So, tell me again, what's the big deal about April fool's day? And more importantly, why is your school moving it to today?'

'Well, you see, at school everyone takes the ay very seriously. It basically gives us all an opportunity to let off some steam and have fun while also competing to see who can pull of the best pranks. Now since the first of April was a Saturday, we've moved it up to today this year so the school tradition can continue on. Of course, it'll probably be relatively uneventful this year.'

'How so?'

'Well,' he begins as he gets out of bed and approaches the door, 'let's see… Viper's dead, Connor, Kallet and I have our hands full with the L case, Indy and Katashi seem to be pretty busy with something these days as well, and I don't even know what Alex or Harry are doing. So all our main pranksters are either unavailable or unconfirmed to be available. That being said, I-'

*BWREEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

'AAAAAH!'

…

For a moment I jump back as he just stands there, before looking on the other side of his bedroom door.

'…An airhorn door stopper. How uncreative.' And just like that he leaves the room and I follow him down the stairs, where I see two half-full upside-down glasses of what looks like water on the kitchen bench, with some kind of note in front of them which says:

Happy AF day and have fun cleaning this up! – I.A.

Chris blankly looks down at the note, holds both glasses in his hands and flips them over without a drop spilling out.

'How amateurish of her. I was expecting something more.'

'You gonna try to get back at her?'

'No, I wouldn't want to get her angry by mistake. I've seen her punch through over thirty centimeters of solid air. In any case, we should hurry up so we're outta here before mum starts pulling her pranks.'

(Chris' POV)

Just before we enter the school, I find a hidden place behind a large tree where no-one will see us and I show Rugo what's in my bag.

'You see these? These are febreeze grenades. Just pull the zip tie, toss it and RUN. Here, you hold onto them.'

'Where the hell do you kids even come up with these ideas?'

'Well, let me put it to you this way: The most realistic part of Age of Ultron was Ultron deciding the human race must be destroyed after spending a few minutes on the internet. Anyway, I'll put you in charge of that, I'm late enough as is.'

I hurriedly rush to class and arrive just on time, and as we all take our seats Mr Iesnes begins.

'So, as you all know, your WWII children's story crossover speeches are today. We'll do this alphabetically, starting with Atarashimono whose story is titled "the very hungry Hitler". Atarashimono, would you like to read us your story please?'

As ordered I get up to the front of the class and do as he says. I remember back when I always got really nervous about public speaking, but now it just kinda comes naturally to me. Whether it's reading a shitty story out to a class of less than twenty other people, all of whom I know, or recording a message to be broadcast to the entire world through TTT behind the safety of my Kira mask, I simply say what I need to say, and with confidence at that. In fact, by now I'm so fluent with it that I can even have secondary trains of thought at the same time as I'm speaking, like this internal monologue I'm having right now. Anyway, back to my speech…

'…So Hitler took Poland, but he was still hungry…'

*CLICK*

Wait, what was-

*PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!*

'Ah fuck!'

Without looking I jump under one of the tables where half the class has already made it to safety, and a quick look around reassures me that everyone else managed to escape the febreeze grenade, with the exception of Mr Iesnes, who is now covered in the stuff, and from the look on his face I think it's safe to say I won't be letting Rugo in charge of these things from now on.

'Alright, who the fuck did that?! …No-one's gonna confess, huh? Well then I guess I'll just have to keep you all in here at lunchtime until one of you owns up to it!'

'Actually, teacher, it's illegal to keep the class in after the bell as punishment. It violates the Geneva Convention's laws on collective punishment.'

Wait, was that… is Luci, L, my greatest adversary helping me here? Damn, I thought I'd be able to at least predict when he'd do something like that. Well, there's only one thing I can still say for sure about him based on countless hours of observations: He's as straight as a rainbow.

Later, at the start of lunchtime I head down to the bathrooms to set up my next prank. It's a harmless and unexciting one, but it's better than nothing. Once I make sure the room is almost empty I take a large round sticker and attach it to the front of the hand blow-dryer.

'Oh, hey Chris. Whatcha doin'?'

'See for yourself, Connor.' Once I make sure the sticker is on I step back for him to observe.

VOICE ACTIVATED

JUST SAY "PAPER TOWEL, PLEASE!"

'Heh, that's a good one. Hey, once you're done can you proofread my physics essay for me?'

'Umm, sure.'

Once we're back at our lunchtables, Connor flips open his Mac and opens up the aforementioned essay, and I quickly skim over the introduction paragraph.

It's a well-known fact that you must spin a USB three times before it will fit. From this we can gather that a USB has three states: An Up position, a Down position and a superposition. Until the USB is observed it will stay in the superposition. Therefore, it will not fit until observed, except for certain cases of USB tunnelling.

'Fucking genius… Umm, Connor, I think Luci's heading this way. Let's move.' With that we resume our routine of aimlessly walking around.

(Connor's POV)

'So a cruise ship full of British, French, German and Italian tourists is sinking and the captain radios for help, and is told that the passengers can be more easily rescued if they're in the water away from the ship. So he sends his first officer to tell all the passengers to jump into the water, but five minutes later the officer returns saying they won't listen to him. "Fine, I'll do it myself!" The captain responds, and he returns five minutes later with a satisfactory look on his face.

"How'd you get them to jump?" The first officer asks.

"Well," The captain responds, "I told the British it was traditional, I told the French it was fashionable, I told the Germans it was an order and I told the Italians it was forbidden!"'

'Ha! Hey, here's one I came up with the other day: What rock group has four men that don't sing?'

'Umm… the- wait, no… ah fuck it, I give up. What is it?' Chris asks.

'Mount Rushmore.'

'Heh, that's a good one.'

'Yours was better.'

'Yeah, but I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things these days.'

'Oh, hush! You're perfectly fine the way you are!'

'That's easy for you to say. So, are you planning any more pranks today?'

'Well, later I'm going to freeze Mentos in ice cubes to make serve time bomb sodas. What about you?'

'So far here's my plan. I've managed to collect a few recordings of the principal saying stuff over the PA system, so if we just rearrange the words we can really… "Ease the boredom".'

'Are you absolutely sure about that?'

'Hey, I'm not closing myself off to the possibility of making a bad life choice. Why are you so judgmental of me today?'

'I'm not judging you, I'm judging our friendship. In any case, do you even have time to "rearrange" the words as you've said? I mean, math class starts in less than ten minutes.'

'Don't worry, I'm actually pretty skilled at this. Remember that old YTP channel I had on YouTube? And, you know, I was actually really good at math before it had its love-child with the alphabet. But luckily my class is one of those where everyone shares their answers without the teacher knowing. They may call it cheating, but we call it teamwork.'

'Lucky bastard.' I finish as we split off and go to our classrooms. I must say, there's a lot about that kid that I still don't understand. How can he be so calm and cheerful despite everything that's happening? Between the L case, the formation of the US SSBN nuclear deterrent in the sea of Japan and the growing strength of the global mafia… well, there's no time to dwell on that now. As I take my set I take my math book, pencil case and Mac out of my bag and get ready for another fourty minutes of-

'Attention all students! This is your principal speaking. Due to sudden unexpected budget cuts we have decided to limit the school's internet connection to certain parts of the school, such as the teacher's lounge and staff offices, and-'

I can't hear the rest of the message over the uproar resonating across the classroom, and from the sounds of it the rest of the school as well. This may be April Fool's day, but no-one seems to be taking chances, especially since it would be perfectly plausible for the staff to have completely forgotten about it due to the rescheduling. As the chaos intensifies and more students escape the classroom to protest, I notice that the teacher isn't here. He's usually late to class, so it isn't surprising. With that in mind I slip out of the room and find Chris in the growing crowds.

'So, I thought you'd say something more, y'know… extreme.'

'Connor, I may seem like an asshole, but deep down I'm a good person.'

'I know, but even deeper down you're an even bigger asshole.'

'Look, I didn't have time to come up with something better, okay?'

'Yeah, sure. I suppose it's sorta good that you didn't go too far with it, since we're already under suspicion of being involved with Kira and last time I checked none of us want to be on even worse terms with the Morons In Black. So, what'ya wanna do after school?'

'Not sure… Hey, how about we hack some of the electronic road signs!'

'You can do that?'

'Well it can't be much harder than getting into an ATM or a vending machine.'

'What if we get caught?'

'Don't worry, I always carry some kind of weapon on me in case I need to escalate the situation.'

'Well it certainly doesn't look like you can fit a katana or an assault rifle in there, so what is it?'

'Just a small Tanto. Speaking of which, what happened to the good old days, when swords were a normal part of social situations?'

'…'

After school we meet up again and locate an electronic roadworks sign near the abandoned warehouse where we have our L case meetings. It seems unguarded, but we hide in the bushes next to it for now, just in case.

'Hey Connor, how about I teach you how to do it yourself? You never know when it can come in handy.'

'Sure, sounds fun.' I'm not sure if he was just cautious about getting caught, but either way it makes little difference. I crawl my way out of the bushes.

'Alright, so according to the wonderful world of the internet, here's what you do. First you find the access panel at the back of the sign.' Standing up I quickly locate it.

'…I think I found it, but it has a big warning label on it saying "DO NOT TOUCH".'

'Oh, when it says "DO NOT TOUCH", what it really means is "Touch when no one is looking". Now it should be protected by a small lock, right?'

'Yup. Don't worry, I know how to break it open.'

*CLUNK*

'Good. Now once you've opened the access panel you should see the display electronics. The bit you're looking for is the black control pad, the one with a small keyboard on it that's attached by a curly cord.'

'…Got it, but it's asking for a password.'

'Try "DOTS". That's the default password.'

'…That didn't work.'

'Are you sure? Let me see.' He then leaves the bushes, snatches the pad off me and re-types the exact same thing I just did. 'Well then they must've changed the password, in which case, and I'll do it this time to speed things along, you just hold "control" and "shift" and, while holding, enter "DIPY". There, now if I'm not mistaken that should reset the sign and the password too.' Re-typing DOTS he hands the pad back and concludes, 'Okay, we're in. Here, I'll let you do the rest. Programming it should be as simple as scrolling down to the menu section and selecting "instant text". Type whatever you want it to display and hit enter to submit.'

'…Okay, done. Now what?'

'What'd you say?'

'Not tellin'.'

'Alright then… so you can either throw it up on the sign by electing "run w/out save" or you can add more pages to it by selecting "add page".'

'Well I can't come up with any more good ideas so I'll just throw- Wait, Chris, why are you teaching me all this?'

'What do you mean?'

'Well, it's just… what do you get out of telling me how to do these things?'

'Broadly speaking, there are two reasons a person feels the desire to teach something: Either they want to pass on their successes or they want to pass on their failures. Good luck figuring out which applies here.' Well that didn't answer much.

'Heh, well here goes nothing…'

*BEEP*

'Hey Connor, I've also got one more prank I set up last night that I want you to see.'

'Alright, lead the way.'

A minute later we arrive at the local open-air marketplace, and I immediately see what my friend has done here.

'So what I did after midnight was add one of these big "ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT" signs to every single store's sign.'

Looking around, I can almost admire his handiwork.

ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT

DISCOUNT TIRES

ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT

HAIR SALON

ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT

LUMBER AND FLOORING DEPOT

ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT

PET STORE

'…You really shouldn't have gone this far.'

'Well maybe if the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit. So, I'm playing volleyball with Harry and the others later, you wanna join?'

'Yeah, sure. You know, technically volleyball is just a more intense version of "don't let the balloon touch the floor".'

'What? No, of course not. Connor, nothing's more intense than "don't let the balloon touch the floor". Except maybe bungee jumping.'

'Yeah, but I've never really wanted to do that. I came into this world because of a broken piece of rubber, but I don't want to leave it because of one.'

(Duncan's POV)

'What the hell's with this lame-brained idea?! How could you use up all that time and achieve nothing?! You guys think all we have to do is run a Kira special and people will tune in, is that it?! Do you have any idea how high expectations of us have been since Kira's three broadcasts last year?! The point is, we need a story. We need something new, exciting and deadly! Find me a new angle on this thing!'

'But there aren't any new angles. The cops aren't saying a word and none of us are smart enough to conduct an actual investigation on our own!'

'Well did you ask our Intel?'

'We've tried, but it's not really helping at all!'

'IDIOT! What do you take me for?! Some kinda fat guy with a moustache? If you can't find any good stories out there, then bloody well make something up, dammit! I never hired any of you morons to just sit around all day and give up!'

'But we've already gotten a bunch of warnings from the communication ministry. It's becoming a serious problem.'

'Well where people like you see problems, I see opportunities to create even worse problems! Besides, they're already making us run all kinds of stories, and nobody can tell if they're true or not. So I'm not letting anyone "restrict" us without giving anything in return! Listen to me, in our next Kira special, we're saying we surveyed twenty thousand people, and over 50 percent of them said they support Kira. So you guys make some convincing graphs and catchy quotes from the public. I mean, sheesh, we gotta grab people's attention here, all right?'

*knock knock*

'Who the hell is it?'

'You've got mail!' One of my subordinates enters the room, slides an envelope over to my side of the conference table and I hold it up to see… and it appears my wish has been granted.

'The sender didn't write their name or address, almost like… holy shit. Guys, this looks like another message from Kira!'

'Finally! What does it say?'

I excitedly open the envelope and, sure enough, there's a handwritten message alongside a USB inside, just like the last three times. But something else catches my eye.

'…This handwriting is different from the last three broadcasts…'

To director Duncan Bills of Tomorrow's Today Tonight

You may refer to me however you want. I am not Kira, but I possess his ability and I am just as powerful as him, possibly even more. The proof of this is on the USB in the video titled "video 1". When you've watched and are satisfied that I have this power, please broadcast videos 2 through 4 on your network, in accordance with the dates and times given below. By performing killings that were announced in advance on national TV, I will prove to the public that I am a new Kira, at the same time, a message from me will be sent out to the entire world. If you do not broadcast these videos as instructed, I will wipe out your company's board of directors, one by one, starting with you.

'…What is it, sir?'

'This is most… unexpected. If these are real, this is going to be insane… Woah, man, I'm so excited I think I'm having a heart attack!'