CHAPTER 15: Friends
A.N.: Thanks to all my awesome reviewers! Dariuchka, unfortunately my earlier fics were on a different website that has since been taken down. I will try to find them and repost on here if I can. Kashi1797, thanks so much for posting the info on how to get around FF Error 2 - I was stuck for a couple of days, not being able to upload this chapter, until I happened to read your profile!
Disclaimer: Not my characters.
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The sun was warm. The stones were warm. The cool water had been refreshing. He didn't have to be training right this minute. He had even gotten the bristly Hyuuga to play a little. Shikamaru was feeling good.
He should have known it couldn't last.
It was Kiba who started it all. One minute he was lying on the rock with everyone else, his head on his dog. The next minute he was staring at Neji, a glint in his eye.
"So, you're pretending he's your Pet, to fool Orochimaru?"
Ino gave a little startled squeak from a nearby rock where she and Sakura were sitting. For his part, Shikamaru could only say, "Huh?" He had no idea where Kiba had gotten the information. He had actually forgotten about Neji being his Pet for a few hours. During training, sparring, and the water war, he had just thought of Neji as one of the guys.
True, he had heard them saying Neji was like a Pet, but since no one had reacted much (except of course Neji) he had assumed they were just needling Neji because of his long hair and exotic looks. He hadn't thought they had guessed the truth.
"He's not pretending," Sai said. "The Hyuuga is his Pet."
"No way!" Chouji said, sounding agitated. "Our clans don't keep Pets. He only paid the price." Ino threw him a dismayed look. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but then kept quiet.
Sakura was staring at Shikamaru's hand in its black glove. Sai, too, looked from Shikamaru's hand to Neji's headband and back. There was a curious, charged silence as everyone realized what they were staring at.
What the hell, Shikamaru thought. The wet glove on his hand was uncomfortable anyway. Slowly, he peeled it off and held his hand up for all to see.
"Wow," Kiba said, sounding stunned. Everyone was gawking at it with expressions of mingled fascination and horror. Even Chouji.
"So…you actually had the Ceremony and everything?" Sakura asked.
"I told you –" Ino started, and then turned pink.
"You did?" Shikamaru said.
"I told you," Sai said. "The Hyuuga is his Pet."
"But," Naruto spluttered, turning to Chouji, "you said it wasn't real!"
"I thought…" Chouji's voice trailed off. "I didn't think…I thought you just …paid the price…" He shot a miserable look at Shikamaru and quickly looked away. Shikamaru looked down, not wanting to show how much that hurt. Beside him Neji, who a moment ago had been lying on the rocks, fairly relaxed, was now sitting up glaring at everyone.
"So that Mark is real?" Naruto questioned.
"It's real," Ino said softly.
"What, um… what was the Ceremony like?" Sakura asked diffidently.
"Nothing much," Shikamaru lied. There was no way he could tell them about it, how formal and wedding-like it had been. He didn't even want to think about that day and everything it had led to, Neji lying in a pool of blood in his bathroom.
"So," Kiba said, pointing to Neji, "you own him now?"
"No!" Shikamaru said sharply.
"But you do," Sai said.
"I don't believe in that."
"But you did it."
Shikamaru's chest felt tight. Neji's face was a mask. Chouji stared at the ground.
"So," Naruto said, scratching his head, "do you guys, y'know…do it?"
"Excuse me?" Neji said in a tone of icy fury.
"Hell, no!" Shikamaru snapped.
"What business is it of yours, Dickless?" Sai said, turning to Naruto.
Shikamaru had had enough. He slid off the rock and walked away, ignoring Sai and Naruto's squabbling and the others' questions. Someone called his name but he didn't look back. He walked far enough down the path so that he could no longer see or hear any of the others.
In the shade of a large rock, he stared up at the sky. Of course they were bound to find out sooner or later; Ino was a blabbermouth, and Sai had no sense of social decorum. But still, he felt blindsided.
He stared at the Mark on the back of his hand, hating it. Experimentally, he scraped it against the rough surface of the rocks. If he scraped hard enough, could he erase it?
Of course, that would hurt, probably a lot.
But the pain wouldn't last for a whole year, he thought.
He heard footsteps and turned, expecting Chouji or Ino, or maybe Asuma. But it was Neji who came around the bend to stand, looking at him.
He braced himself for Neji's rant about what losers his friends were. But Neji said instead, "I am sorry, Shikamaru."
Shikamaru blinked in astonishment. "For what?"
"What you did for me, it's driven you apart from your friends."
"Oh…well… it's just a tough subject. Chouji's great-grandmother was a slave, and she was treated pretty badly by her -" He could not bring himself to say Master. That was what he was now, a Master. He hated it. "- by the guy who bought her." He shrugged, trying not to let his feelings show. "Anyway, it's not your fault. It's not like you chose to get kidnapped by Orochimaru."
Neji flushed and looked down. In a low voice he said, "I will pay you back the money, Shikamaru."
Shikamaru waved it away. "The money's not import –"
"No," Neji said unexpectedly. "It's your family's honor. But I can't give that back to you."
Shikamaru stared at him. Was the Hyuuga actually being understanding and sympathetic? For a moment, he didn't even know how to respond.
"Neji..." he liked saying Neji's name, the sound and feel of it. "I want you to know, I don't regret anything."
Neji gave him a probing look. Looking into those eyes, Shikamaru was struck by a realization. I said I didn't have regrets, but I didn't entirely mean that, until just this moment.
They were standing very close, close enough to touch. He wanted to reach out and touch Neji. But the words of his friends still stung.
You own him now….Do you guys…do it?
He would not touch Neji. That's what a Master would do with a Pet. Neji was his honored guest. He would no more touch him than he would any other honored guest.
He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Guess we should head back…it's about time to start training some more."
As they rounded the bend they could hear the yelling clearly from the rocks. Everyone was talking loudly and arguing all at once, nobody listening to anyone else. Both Ino and Chouji looked like they were on the verge of tears.
Shikamaru stared at the melee in dismay. It was his actions that had caused this. Was this how it would be from now on, everyone turning against each other and against him?
"Stop it," a commanding voice sounded from behind him. Shikamaru and everyone else turned in shock to stare at Neji, who stood there imperiously with his arms crossed.
"You are supposed to be Shikamaru's friends," Neji said, directing a piercing glare at each of them in turn. "You have known him much longer than I have. Yet you're willing to believe so easily that he would betray his principles, and do something so barbaric as actually taking a Pet?"
"Why barbaric?" Sai questioned.
"Shut up, Sai," Sakura hissed.
"Yes, we had the Ceremony. We were forced to by Kabuto. This was not easy for Shikamaru. He gave up a lot, more than you'll ever know. I owe him my life and more, and I intend to repay him. And you at least owe him the respect of believing in him."
There was a stunned silence. Ino's mouth hung open. Chouji stared at the ground in shame. Then Naruto broke into a grin.
"Heh heh, Neji, you're alright! You're a good friend to Shikamaru."
"What are you talking about?" Sai said. "He is doing what a Pet is supposed to do – defending his Master."
Something snapped inside Shikamaru. "Would you just shut the hell up, you clueless robot! Our relationship is not Master and Pet!"
There was another shocked hush, everyone looking at him with wide eyes. Although Shikamaru groused and complained about things all the time, it was very rare for him to actually lose his temper. Even Neji looked startled.
In the quiet, they could hear the senseis calling from the training grounds.
"Where did you slackers disappear to?"
"Hey! I said two hours, not all day!"
As the two teams headed back to the training area, Shikamaru hung back, taking deep breaths. He felt shaken and raw. The memory of Chouji, unable to look at him, cut him to the bone.
"It's not his fault," Neji said quietly. "He doesn't know any better. He doesn't even know his own name." It took Shikamaru a second to realize he was talking about Sai. "All he knows is what's been drilled into him."
Shikamaru shook his head. "Are you actually telling me to have compassion for Sai?"
Neji raised an eyebrow. "Why is that so difficult to believe?"
"You just keep surprising me," Shikamaru said. He took another deep breath, readying himself to face the others again. "That was impressive, before. You'll be a good head of your clan someday."
A flash of pain crossed Neji's face and he looked away. Shikamaru thought he knew why.
"You will get back to your clan. I promise you that, Neji." As Neji turned to head down to the training area, he added, "Oh, and…thanks."
"Your friends –"
"My friends are loud idiots, but they're good guys." Shikamaru shrugged. "You probably have a friend or two like that as well."
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You probably have a friend or two like that as well.
The image of Lee's face popped into Neji's mind. Loud idiot definitely described Lee a lot of the time. But nobody was a harder worker, or a more courageous fighter. And nobody had a bigger heart.
Was Lee a friend? Neji had always classified him simply as a teammate. But now he felt a deep pang of sadness at realizing he would probably never see Lee again, Lee with his cheerful grin, his indefatigable spirit, his futile but unwavering resolve to beat Neji in a battle…
And Tenten. Bright-eyed, determined Tenten, who didn't giggle, gossip, or get into snits, who was always up for hours of training. Her stamina could match or outlast his, and she was a welcome voice of sanity when Lee and Guy got too over-the-top.
He even missed Guy-sensei.
Yes, he thought, yes, I had friends, though I didn't think of it that way at the time.
And maybe I didn't let them be my friends.
He had been so singlemindedly focused on his futile, fruitless goal that he had never taken the time to just enjoy the company of others. He would not even know how to do that.
Shikamaru knew how. Shikamaru played board games, had water wars with his friends, lazed about. Yet he had beaten Neji in their spar. Neji could feel his worldview crumbling, shifting like the loose and sandy ground.
The senseis, evidently sensing the tension in the group, announced that instead of sparring the afternoon would be spent doing climbing drills. Scaling the rocks in a single-file made any interaction difficult, if not impossible. Neji couldn't help but contrast this with Guy-sensei, who would have punched everybody, made a long tearful speech, and then had them hug it out. In this case, Neji decided, he actually preferred the South Country ways.
Even with the arduous drill and the senseis' repeated warnings to focus on the task and not talk, nobody was completely ignoring the others. Neji noticed Ino and Sakura whispering to one another, and he overheard Sai and Naruto muttering at each other as they traversed a relatively flat stretch.
"I still don't understand why he got so angry," Sai was saying. "They are Master and Pet."
"He means," Naruto said, "he doesn't think of Neji in that way. Shikamaru never wanted a Pet. He just wanted to do the right thing."
"So what is their relationship then?"
"They're just friends, I guess."
"But technically, he owns –"
"Techni-whatever," Naruto said, "Iruka-sensei owns me, since I was a slave when he bought me. But he set me free and became my guardian instead. Just like Shikamaru is going to with – oh, hey, Neji!" Naruto broke off, looking abashed, as he caught sight of Neji.
"We were just talking about you," Sai said, not looking embarrassed in the least.
"Don't say that!" Naruto chided him.
"What?"
Neji skirted them both and continued scaling the cliffs to their right. He didn't want to answer any questions about things that were none of their business anyway. His relationship with Shikamaru... it was more complicated than that. He was indebted to Shikamaru and his family, and he was a guest in their house. And now he supposed they would temporarily be teammates. Beyond that...
No. He would not let himself go beyond that. He would never allow himself to give in to those feelings again.
Naruto and Sai had almost caught up to him. "So, are you and I friends then?" he heard Sai ask Naruto.
Naruto pondered this a moment, then broke into a grin. "Sure! Why not?"
"Hey! Losers!" The girls were yelling at them from a nearby ledge.
"What's taking you so long? We're almost at the top!"
Kiba came charging past them, a gleam in his eye. "Oh, you're on!"
"Yeah!" Naruto and Sai joined in the chase, scrambling after him.
Neji decided that he would not be shown up by any South Country shinobi, boy or girl. He was fast, but he was hampered by his unfamiliarity with the terrain, and the triumphant girls arrived a half second before him and the rest of the boys. Trundling behind them was Chouji, followed by the senseis, and, bringing up the rear, Shikamaru. Chouji still seemed to be assiduously avoiding Shikamaru. Neji could tell this hurt Shikamaru. It surprised him that he should feel so troubled by this. He had always been protective of his teammates in battle, and he would defend them to the death. But he had always believed that feelings were a weakness that had no place in a shinobi life.
And, despite what he had said to Shikamaru about Sai not knowing what he was talking about, the other's words still nagged at him. By being sympathetic to Shikamaru, caring about him, wanting to help – was he just doing what a Pet was supposed to do?
He was as glad as Shikamaru when the sun sinking low in the sky announced the end of their day of training. They trudged back to the Nara compound in silence, feeling physically and emotionally weary. They had just gotten up to Shikamaru's room, however, when the voice of Shikamaru's mother sounded, calling his name from below.
Shikamaru caught Neji's eye and held a finger to his lips.
"Shikamaru I KNOW you're UP THERE."
Shikamaru gave a long-suffering sigh. "I literally just walked in the door, Ma."
"I've been thinking –"
Shikamaru rolled his eyes.
"—Neji shouldn't be sleeping on a futon on your floor."
"Great," Shikamaru muttered. "Where should he sleep, on the ceiling?"
"WHAT?"
"I said, okay, we'll put him in the guest room!"
"No, we need the guest room for your grandparents when they come to visit next month. I cleaned up the spare room at the end of the hall. You just need to move all the junk out of it. You can put it in your extra room."
"Now?" Shikamaru practically whined.
"YES NOW."
Looking extremely put-upon, Shikamaru plodded down the hall to a room at the very end. A futon was neatly made up and there were several assorted boxes waiting to be moved.
"What is all this crap?" Shikamaru grumbled as he hoisted a couple of boxes. "Can't I even have a minute to relax?"
Neji, too, couldn't help wondering why Yoshino had waited until they started training, rather than asking them to do it during the rainy season when they were just hanging around most of the time. But it was not his place to say anything. He lifted an armload of boxes and followed Shikamaru back down the hall.
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Shikamaru knew why his mother had waited until now; during the rains that room leaked, and it was musty and dreary. Not that it mattered; Neji would be gone before the next rainy season, and they never got that much rainfall during the rest of the year. He had to admit his mother had done a good job airing it out and cleaning it up. There was even a small vase of flowers, not that Neji would care about that. But he didn't know why it had to be done this second. Neji had been sleeping in his room for weeks now. His mother must've been champing at the bit to move him out of there. No doubt she was worried he would develop some unnatural attachment to Neji, or whatever it was she had been going on about that time. He felt his irritation rise again, as it had when he shouted at Sai that their relationship was not Master and Pet.
Just what is our relationship, he wondered. He didn't know if they were friends exactly, although he had had fun playing in the water war with Neji, and Neji had certainly stood up for him the way a friend might. Strangely enough, he had seemed to become friendlier after Shikamaru had beaten him in their spar.
Thinking of friends made Shikamaru's mind go where it didn't want to, to Chouji. His oldest, most loyal friend hadn't even been able to look at him or speak to him. That hurt more than he would ever let on.
After what seemed like ages of hauling his mom's thousand boxes of useless crap out of the room, they were allowed to take a break for dinner, before moving Neji's stuff in there. That didn't take long, as he had few possessions.
"The bathroom is down the hall," he told Neji. "But you only have to share it when we have other guests."
Neji said all the polite things; that the room was too good, and they did him too much honor by letting him stay there, while Yoshino, who had come up to oversee the move, responded with her own speech about how paltry and unfit the room was for such an honored guest as Neji.
"Yeah, yeah," Shikamaru said. He just hoped Neji liked the room.
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Neji hated the room.
He would never have said so, of course, and he didn't even really know why. It was certainly serviceable, and he had never really cared about luxury or opulence. But for some reason it gave him an uneasy feeling.
He tried to look on the bright side. At least he would be spared the sight of Shikamaru walking around half naked every night. And he would have some privacy, at least most of the time. Deciding he was being foolish, he brushed his teeth, changed into sleeping clothes, and lay down on the futon.
Loud men's voices drifted up through the open window. He realized this must be right above the men's barracks. Shutting the window muffled the sounds somewhat, but they still carried. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but his mind was restless, going over all the events of the day. The water war had been – not bad. But the rest of it – Shikamaru beating him so decisively, the humiliating bout of heat exhaustion, the gossip and assumptions of the others – ate at him.
He wondered if he would ever get used to this country. Or if he would ever be able to fall asleep. Finally, after what seemed like hours, he felt himself dozing off.
Shouting from below jolted him into half-consciousness, and then he thought he heard one voice say, "Orochimaru."
Wide awake now, his heart hammering, he moved quickly to the window and slid it open a crack to listen. Loud laughter carried up, then the same voice saying, "We'll see, we'll see tomorrow!"
Was that what he had heard – his mind playing tricks on him? He listened a bit longer. They were talking about some contest being held the next day, good-naturedly taunting each other. No one sounded serious. No one was talking about Otogakure or any threat.
He lay down again. Pressing the pillow over his head, he willed himself to go to sleep. Maybe if he emptied his mind, as he did in meditation...
Loud, sure footsteps woke him, hurrying up the back stairs. He sat up in confusion – why would one of the men be coming in the Nara house, in the middle of the night –? Then a hand gripped his door and pushed it open, not bothering to knock. He looked up into the face of the very last person he expected to see.
Brown skin, spiky dark hair, predatory gleam in his eyes…
Kidoumaru.
Neji felt a blast of adrenaline, shock, horror and hatred electrifying every nerve of his body. For a second he couldn't move or breathe; he felt pinned to the wall. "You're dead," he whispered hoarsely.
Kidoumaru gave his familiar smirk. "Not so dead."
"I killed you."
"Not so well."
I will kill you again, Neji wanted to say. He tried to push up from the futon, but it was crumbling, slipping from under his feet like the sand earlier. His arms and legs felt slow, heavy, weak. They had drugged him again…how?...who?...he could not save himself…
A voice was yelling…it was his own…
Neji opened his eyes. He was shaking all over and his heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in the tips of his fingers. He flexed his muscles and found them working fine. A dream, that was all, just a dream. But it had seemed so real.
He sat up, his back against the wall, lit the lamp, and rested his head on his arms. He would never sleep tonight. He didn't think he would ever sleep again.
Not so dead.
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Shikamaru awakened with a start, his heart racing, the back of his hand tingling like mad. For a confused moment, he had the horrible sensation that someone was coming in his room to kill him. He reached for his weapons pouch and lit the lamp. But looking around him, he saw only his familiar messy room. Just a nightmare, he guessed.
He became aware of the tingling in his hand. Was it his nightmare he was experiencing, or Neji's? Rubbing his eyes, and grumbling just a little, he padded down the hall in the direction of Neji's room. A light was on.
Shikamaru hesitated a moment before knocking gingerly at the door. "Ahh…Neji? It's me." Silence. "Can I come in?"
He heard a small sound that might have been a yes, so he cautiously slid the door open. Neji had pushed the futon against the back wall and was sitting up, practically wedged into the corner, his head resting on his clenched fists.
"Are you okay?"
Neji lifted his head, regarding Shikamaru. The expression in his eyes looked…haunted, was the way Shikamaru would describe it. "What do you want?" he said in a voice barely above a whisper.
Shikamaru took a step backwards, rubbing his head. "Uh…I couldn't sleep either, and I saw your light on…do you want to play a game of shogi or something?"
Neji continued to stare bleakly at him. Shikamaru couldn't tell if he was thinking, Shogi, what a great idea! or Get out of here before I kill you.
"Well, just a thought…sorry I bothered you." Shikamaru backed the rest of the way out of the room, and turned to go.
"No, wait." Surprisingly, Neji rose and followed him back to his room, where Shikamaru's clothes were strewn across the floor, and the shogi board sat on the bed, a half-played game on it.
"On the bed?" Neji said, lifting an eyebrow.
"Oh…that was just where I left it…I like to play a game or two before I sleep. We can sit at the table if you'd rather. It's just more comfortable…I mean, I'm not going to try anything. I like girl–"
Neji held up a hand. "Yeah," he said flatly. "I know." He took a seat on the bed, staring fixedly down at the board as if he wanted to vaporize it with his eyes. Shikamaru started to sweep the pieces off the board to set up a new game, but then had a better idea.
"Wait, I want to show you something…see how the white side is set up here? This is the Mino castle…it's a good defense for a beginner. Defense is the most important thing…you establish your defense first, before you go on the offense."
"You certainly did that when we sparred," Neji said coolly.
"That's right…I knew I couldn't defeat you in a straight-up battle, so while I was looking through the swords, I was plotting how I'd confuse you long enough to get away. Once I did that, I figured out my attack."
"It worked," Neji said, still staring at the board. "I wouldn't have done it, but it worked."
"You wouldn't have to do that. You're a swordsman. I'm a strategist. You play to your strengths." Shikamaru waited a beat before adding, "But it wouldn't hurt you to learn some defensive strategies, either."
"And it wouldn't hurt you to learn some sword skills. If you have time to think up all these strategies, you have time to train."
Shikamaru shrugged.
"Maybe then you would be good enough to get that sword."
Shikamaru looked up, and was unsettled to find Neji gazing directly into his eyes. For a moment he felt strangely breathless, and forgot whatever strategy he was trying to demonstrate.
"Um, yeah…maybe…well…" Flustered, he looked back at the board, staring at it until a strategy became clear. "So, ah, yeah…the Mino castle….ahhh….oh, yeah…see how the three generals are all protecting the king? Our three-person shinobi squads are based on that idea…it's an old saying, three generals protect the king…so, you would put the rook here, and the king in the rook's place. You start out by moving the rook here, and then I'll usually open like this—" Shikamaru slowly moved a few pieces around, "—or if I go here you can start off by moving over here…or here…oh, and push up the edge pawn, that's a part of it…"
Neji was blinking blearily at the action on the board. Shikamaru continued for several more minutes, rambling on in this fashion, with many pauses to study the board before moving more pieces…at a snail's crawl…into yet more formations. When Neji leaned his cheek on one hand and stifled a yawn, Shikamaru decided it was time to amble downstairs for a drink of water, which he took his sweet time getting. Neji was sprawled on the bed when he returned, sound asleep, so Shikamaru threw a blanket over him, got out the futon for himself, and called it a night.
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A.N.: Thanks for reading! Whether you loved it, hated it, or anything in between – please leave a review and tell me!