CHAPTER 19: Lights On The Water

A.N.: Thanks to all my awesome readers and reviewers! You are one thing I am thankful for (and happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers)! And yes, mochi cakes for everyone…I love hearing from people in other countries!

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"Go wash your face, your grandparents are here," Yoshino said, taking the box of mochi cakes from Shikamaru as they came in. Shikamaru obediently turned and trotted down the short flight of steps to the kitchen, where he splashed water on his face at the kitchen sink. Neji followed suit, smoothing his hair down. At home, he would have had a bath and changed his clothes before meeting with the clan elders. But here, as in many things, it seemed they were more informal. Still, as he followed Shikamaru to the living room, Neji could feel the same tension and vague resentment that always overtook him at these meetings.

Shikamaru's grandparents – a short, stern-looking man and a round little woman with small black eyes like watermelon seeds – eyed him with keen interest as Shikamaru introduced them. Neji made a deep formal bow, which seemed to meet with their approval. Shikamaru presented the box of mochi cakes, which also pleased them.

"I was in the North Country a couple of times as a soldier," Shikamaru's grandfather said. "Knew many members of the Wahuga clan."

"Hyuuga," Shikamaru said quickly, with a glance at Neji.

"They're quite noble, not like that other clan, the…red-eyed ones, killing each other and running off to join the Akatsuki."

Neji bowed his head, feeling shame wash over him. He had almost done both those things. Even this ignorant South Country soldier, who could not remember his clan's correct name, knew that they did not do those things. From the corner of his eye he noticed Shikamaru looking at him with concern, probably worried that Neji was taking offense at the remarks about his clan.

"So, Shikamaru," Yoshino said loudly, with a stern look at her son, "you need to be up bright and early tomorrow, so we can go to the cemetery."

"I know, Mom."

"I brought a black pine tree to plant on Papa's grave," Shikamaru's grandmother said with a small sigh. "Like that one outside his house that he loved. I still miss him so much."

"My great-grandfather," Shikamaru said to Neji. "He died in February."

"That's his sword hanging up in there," Shikamaru's grandfather said, pointing out through the window towards the training building. It took Neji a second to realize what he was talking about; the magnificent sword, the one like his father's, that hung on the wall in there. "Quite a weapon. Could take a man's head clear off his body, before you could even blink. Like slicing through air. I saw –" He broke off at admonishing clucks from his wife and daughter. "No one has ever seen another one like it."

I have seen another one like it, Neji thought. A sudden realization hit him, like an electric shock. "The sword!" The Naras stared at him, their expressions questioning and, in the case of the grandparents, somewhat bemused, as if the cat had suddenly started talking. "Maybe that's what the Akatsuki were after, that day."

"Good luck to them then," Shikamaru's grandfather said, with a chuckle like a rusty hinge opening. "Old Kojiro was no fool. He put a seal on it so no one but the Nara clan would be able to release it from the case."

"Someday it will pass to you, Shikamaru," his grandmother said with an indulgent smile.

"Maybe," Shikamaru mumbled noncommittally. His mother and grandfather looked dubious as well. Neji felt himself bristle a bit in his friend's defense.

"Of course you can, Shikamaru," he said. "All you have to do is train more." The high thin whistle of a teakettle sounded from the kitchen. Yoshino rose and hurried from the room.

"When I was your age," the grandfather said, "we trained every day, twelve hours a day. Every day, my sensei would make us run two miles to the edge of the village, and then climb that big rock wall there."

"Neji would approve," Shikamaru said, with a sidelong glance at him, as the old man continued his tales of training.

Neji did. It was exactly the kind of thing Gai-sensei would have done. He was a little surprised to feel a pang at the thought. As much as he had rolled his eyes at Gai in the past, he now found himself missing his sensei and his strict work ethic.

"Maybe I could take you boys out there this afternoon," the old man said. "We could -"

"Oh sorry, Grandpa," Shikamaru said, without a trace of regret in his voice. "I have to go to Chikaku village this afternoon to turn in the paperwork for the tournament there."

Yoshino came bustling back into the room with the tray of tea things. "So," she remarked as she laid them out, "Chouji's mother told me that he's doing much better. That's wonderful news."

"The Akimichi boy?" Shikamaru's grandmother said. "Oh, he was a chubby little dumpling!"

"Heard you led your first mission," the grandfather said to Shikamaru. "Didn't go too well, eh?"

Shikamaru stared down at the table in silence. Neji wanted to speak up in his defense, wanted to reach out and touch his shoulder for comfort, but knew it wasn't his place. He too kept quiet and burned inwardly.

"My goodness, what delicious looking mochi cakes!" Shikamaru's grandmother exclaimed. "What thoughtful young men you are. Yoshino, will you pour the tea?"

Neji sipped his tea, thinking he'd rather be climbing up the rock wall.

###

Shikamaru sipped his tea, still feeling slightly uncomfortable. He liked his grandparents, but the memory of the failed mission was still too raw and painful to talk about it, especially with his grandfather, who had been a top-ranked shinobi in his day. Plus he could never predict how Neji would react. Generally, as he had so far today, he behaved respectfully and had beautiful manners – but he also had a quick temper and a ginormous chip on his shoulder, especially on the topic of the North Country and his clan. Shikamaru knew his grandfather meant no harm, and indeed had a high regard for the warriors he had faced in the North, but he didn't think Neji would see it that way.

Still, it could be worse. He could be climbing up the rock wall.

After tea was finished, he excused both of them, promising to return for dinner. Of course Neji would not be legally allowed to travel out to Chikaku until the day of the tournament itself, when he would be granted a special exception. Neji planned to spend the afternoon training, and Shikamaru could have taken his grandfather up on his offer of an old-school training session. But leaving the two of them alone together seemed like a recipe for disaster. So he let them think Neji was going with him. They were pretty much in the dark about the whole situation, including the fact that Neji was a Pet.

"Don't tell your grandparents," his mother had warned him for the thousandth time as she prepared for their visit. "It would kill them."

Shikamaru doubted it would literally kill them, but he didn't have a problem agreeing to this. He wasn't in the habit of introducing Neji as his Pet, and it was hardly something to brag about.

He saddled up Shadow, and he and Asuma set out. Chikaku, where they were headed, was a small town about an hour's ride to the south. They had no shinobi force, so Suna was sometimes called upon to defend them. Their one major attribute was a large open flat area, upon which they had built an arena where they hosted tournaments and other public events.

At the arena, Shikamaru was weighed and measured and photographed. This was for identification purposes only; in the actual tournament, he was just as likely to be paired with someone much bigger or smaller. He might even have to fight a girl, which would be troublesome. While he was being registered, Asuma-sensei headed to a separate area to register Neji and give them his description, and to turn in all the paperwork as their sponsor.

As he lounged on a bench and waited for Asuma, Shikamaru found himself idly scanning the crowd, wondering if Sabaku Temari was among them. But he saw no sign of her; doubtless she had registered earlier in the day. He was conscious of a mild disappointment. He also wished Neji could have come with them. It would have made the trip a little more interesting. He would have liked to hear Neji's opinion of the arena, and what he would have made of the local delicacy – a whole roasted lizard on a stick. Shikamaru smiled to himself at that thought.

"Naaara-san."

Shikamaru turned. Orochimaru's red-haired, foulmouthed daughter Tayuya was walking toward him. "You're fighting in the tournament?" she asked, managing to give the words a derisive spin.

"Yeah…my sensei insisted. You?"

"Yep. Maybe we'll fight each other," she said with a sly smile. "So, got your board?"

"Sure," Shikamaru said, moving over on the bench. While he loathed Orochimaru's clan on principle, and certainly wouldn't call Tayuya a friend, she did happen to be a first-class shogi player, and every now and then when they encountered each other, they would have a game. He opened up the board and laid out the pieces, letting her go first.

As usual in their games, Shikamaru took a slow, strategic approach, while Tayuya went on the attack, both in the game and verbally. "So," she said, as Shikamaru readied his knight for a double-flanked threat, "you really took that thing as a Pet?"

Shikamaru's hand tightened on the knight. "He's not a thing."

"Have you lost your fuckin' mind or what?"

Shikamaru just shrugged, surveying the formation of her attack.

"You do know he fucking killed my brother, right?" Tayuya said. "You think he wouldn't do the same to you?"

"I wouldn't do to him what your brother did," Shikamaru snapped, feeling his hackles rise.

"Oh, you think because he likes you, he'll spare your shitty life?" Tayuya slid her queen across the board. "He liked my brother too, you know."

Shikamaru set his bishop in place without responding.

"I'm fucking serious. From the moment Kidoumaru walked in, he did nothing but stare at him. Whatever Kidoumaru did to that bastard, he sure as hell wanted it."

Shikamaru raised his head from the board, meeting her eyes. "If he wanted it, why did he kill your brother?"

"Who the hell knows? White-Eyes don't give a crap about human life. They're cold-hearted, devious sons of bitches."

"That sounds more like Orochimaru than Neji."

"Lord Orochimaru to you. Oh, and checkmate."

Shikamaru stared at the white pieces flanking his king. He didn't usually lose to Tayuya.

"Guess I really rattled your cage, huh?" Tayuya smirked. "Well, see ya. And watch your back around that White-Eyes. Don't want you to end up like fucking Kidoumaru."

Shikamaru gathered up his shogi pieces, feeling like a horse with too many burrs under the saddle. Although he had tried not to show it, Tayuya's words had gotten to him. He didn't put too much credence in what she had said about Neji being interested in Kidoumaru. He had met Kidoumaru a couple of times, and disliked him instantly. Hotheaded, malicious jerk. He couldn't imagine anyone wanting to be touched by Kidoumaru. But that took his mind where it didn't want to go – Neji sitting on the rock, his hands shaking, saying in that low, ragged voice, He grabbed my hair...

He felt a red rage rising in him and he took a few deep breaths, willing himself to let it go. It had happened, yes, but it was over, and Neji had taken his revenge on Kidoumaru. Asuma-sensei was walking toward him, and he had an enjoyable evening to look forward to; to impress his in-laws, Shikaku was taking them all out to the nicest restaurant in Suna. Still, he found it hard to shake his bad mood.

His parents and grandparents didn't notice, but of course, Neji did immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Was there some problem with the registration?"

"Nope, we're good to go." Shikamaru turned, pulling a clean shirt over his head.

"Shikamaru," Neji said in a quiet tone that made Shikamaru look up. "You didn't really want to fight in this tournament, did you?"

"What? No…I mean, it's troublesome, but it's not a big deal. Asuma-sensei's been bugging me to go to one, so this will get him off my back for awhile."

He tried to forget it all and enjoy the food, which was excellent. Even Neji was digging in with relish, not shunning the spicier-looking dishes as he had in the past, but valiantly helping himself to curry and fiery roast pork. Shikamaru decided to needle him a little. Finding a small hot pepper - Neji's nemesis - he slipped it casually onto the edge of Neji's plate. Neji appeared to take no notice, but when Shikamaru glanced down at his own dish a moment later, a much larger and more formidable-looking pepper had been placed there. He couldn't suppress a snort of laughter, which earned him a stern look from his mother.

He was very glad Neji had come out to dinner with them. At first Neji had demurred, saying that this was a family outing, and he would just get something from the kitchen. But Shikamaru had insisted. He hated anything that made Neji seem more like a Pet or a slave, rather than an honored guest.

"You have to come," he told Neji. "Otherwise, you make my parents look bad in front of the grandparents." That had done the trick, as Neji was hypersensitive about how much he owed the Naras, and above all didn't want to be a further burden to them.

###

"You don't have to come," Shikamaru said the next morning, as the Naras prepared to depart for the cemetery. "It's only troublesome chores, like cleaning off the graves and stuff."

"Those are your ancestors," Neji said reprovingly, "and you are paying your respects."

"Yeah, yeah," Shikamaru said. "Anyway, you can go train or whatever you like until we're done."

But Neji insisted. Helping the Naras honor their ancestors was little enough to repay all that they had done for him, and it would alleviate some of his guilt at not doing the same for his own ancestors.

He was a little surprised when they headed toward the stables. The Hyuuga family vaults housing the ashes of all the ancestors - an imposing, ornately carved one for the Main House, and the smaller, plainer one of the Branch House - were situated right on Hyuuga lands. He couldn't think why it would be otherwise.

He was even more confused when they reached their destination. Instead of the family resting place he was expecting, there was a walled area with a pair of stone gates, and beyond the gate, a large flat expanse studded with small upright white stones.

"What is this?" He whispered to Shikamaru as they followed the older Naras down the path.

Shikamaru shot him a puzzled look. "Um... this is where all the Naras are buried..." he said, waving his hand to indicate the general area. And now Neji could see, upon closer inspection, that each stone bore a name and a pair of dates.

"But - why are their ashes all spread out separately like this?"

"Ashes?" Shikamaru repeated, looking even more puzzled. "This is where they are buried."

It took Neji a moment to process what Shikamaru was saying - that they did not cremate their dead, that under here were actually - "So we are walking on the bones of the dead?"

"I don't think they'll mind," Shikamaru said, with his usual lazy smirk.

Neji did not share his amusement. Indeed, he was having a hard time hiding his horror and revulsion. It seemed to him unlucky in the extreme to just put dead bodies in the ground like this, and he could not suppress a shudder as he followed the Naras along the rows to where Shikamaru's great-grandfather was buried. As the family said their prayers, Neji imagined the angry spirit of the old warrior reaching up a bony hand to seize him, the Northern interloper. He did not belong here; he had no place here.

He thought of his seppuku attempt. If he had succeeded... what would have happened then? Would his body be lying here with the rest, in the earth? Would his spirit have been able to find its way to the afterlife and the spirits of his ancestors, or would he have been trapped here forever? He tried to keep his head down, to appear respectful, but he could feel himself breaking into a cold sweat.

"Okay, Shikamaru," Yoshino said, breaking into Neji's increasingly morbid thoughts. "You take that row there. Neji can help you."

Neji dutifully followed Shikamaru in the direction she had indicated. "What do we do?" he whispered through dry lips.

"You know... clean off the graves, rake the sand, put down some stones and incense... Are you all right?"

"Of course. I am fine."

Shikamaru said his bag down on the ground and began rummaging through it. "Aahh, darn it... I forgot the incense. Neji, do you know the way back? Would you mind going and getting it so that my mom doesn't kill me?"

Neji saddled up the plodding Bo, and nudged him along, trying to make the horse step up the pace. He felt relieved to be leaving the graveyard, but the whole day still weighed heavily on his soul. He had disrespected his own ancestors, and now he had probably disrespected the Nara ancestors as well.

###

Despite being in the graveyard with a long and tedious line of graves to clean, Shikamaru felt quite light, as if he had dodged a heavy sword – two heavy swords, in fact. If Neji had succeeded in committing seppuku…if Chouji had not survived the mission…this would have been a very different day, a day of almost unimaginable grief and guilt.

As it was, he felt only the expected sense of duty and regard for these Nara ancestors, most of whom he had never known. Even the memory of his recently passed great-grandfather inspired more respect than sadness; he had been quite old, and no one could say he had not led a full life.

He pulled the package of incense from the bottom of his bag. He had not really forgotten it, but Neji had looked so spooked at being in the cemetery that Shikamaru had made up a reason to get him out of there. With any luck, Neji would be looking for it for a good long time, maybe even until they returned, since of course it was not there to find.

Strange, he mused, brushing dirt from the headstone of a very ancient Nara ancestor. He would've never figured Neji to be superstitious or afraid of ghosts. It seemed to be the burial part that had freaked the Hyuuga out; he had mentioned that in his country the dead were usually cremated. Shikamaru couldn't see that it made any difference, really. Dead was dead. Burned to ashes or eaten by worms, in the end you were only bones and a spirit.

It took Neji the better part of an hour to return, somehow miraculously having procured a box of incense. By then Shikamaru was almost finished with his task.

"Hey, thanks…I, uh…borrowed some incense from my grandmother. We can give this to her." Neji followed him over to where his grandmother was planting a black pine bonsai tree on her father's grave. He presented the incense with a deep bow, which Shikamaru thought was a nice touch, as he himself would have probably just handed it to her. In turn, his grandmother gushed over it as if he had brought her a box of gold.

"So thoughtful! So lovely! But why do you wear your hair so long, dear?"

"It's the Wahuga way," his grandfather chimed in helpfully. "They –"

Shikamaru didn't wait to hear what possibly offensive explanation his grandfather had for the Hyuugas' long hair. Grabbing Neji's arm, he bowed to his grandparents and backed away quickly. "Sorry to run, but Neji and I have something we need to do." Conscious of his mother's skeptical gimlet gaze boring in on him, he collected his bag and made for the gate.

"What do we need to do?" Neji asked quizzically. "I thought you had to help your family." Shikamaru had no idea. But something would come to him.

"I'm sorry it took me so long," Neji said. "This horse is very slow."

Of course! The light went on in Shikamaru's mind; this was something he had been meaning to do anyway. "You need to learn to ride Shadow." At Neji's dubious look, he elaborated. "Say it's an emergency, if something happened…you might need to ride fast, to get help, or to chase an enemy. You need to know your horse is with you, that he trusts you and you can trust him to do as you say. I taught my teammates and Asuma-sensei to ride him."

Neji rolled his eyes. "A horse is not a person. They're there to be ridden. All you have to do is get on and ride them."

"Some horses, yeah, like Bo and some of the other horses who are used to being ridden by a lot of different people. But Shadow's a little more difficult."

"It's just a matter of showing it who's boss."

Shikamaru shrugged. "You're welcome to try," he said, gesturing at Shadow who stood watching them.

###

Neji was willing to try, even though the whole idea sounded like something Shikamaru had just pulled out of his butt to avoid doing his work. He waited with his arms crossed while Shikamaru went to the horse and untied it.

"Okay, make believe it's an emergency, and you've gotta ride back to to the house for help."

Neji was confident he could do this. By now he had a fair amount of experience riding horses. He approached Shadow at a fast pace and vaulted up into the saddle. "Let's go!" he said, digging his heels into the horse's sides and slapping the reins.

In the next instant, he found himself flung violently off as the horse reared up with an angry snort. Shikamaru lunged toward them, catching him so that he landed half in Shikamaru's arms rather than on the hard ground.

"Well, that went well," Shikamaru said, lowering him to the ground and grasping the bridle with his other hand. Neji glared at him.

"Why do you even have a horse that is so –"

"…troublesome?" Shikamaru finished. "Because he's a really good horse. He's fast, and he's strong, and he's smart."

"Smart?"

"Yeah…he can think for himself…he doesn't always just do what I tell him to." Shikamaru turned from calming his horse down to give Neji a little grin. "He's a pain in the ass sometimes, but he's worth it. We make a good team."

Neji felt his face grow hot, and hid it by turning to straighten his clothes. He had a feeling Shikamaru was not only talking about his horse. "So what do I have to do to make this stupid animal trust me?" he asked roughly, not looking at Shikamaru.

"First off, act trustworthy. Don't try to grab him or jump on him. Move slowly, speak calmly. Here, give him an apple." As he had with Bo, Shikamaru produced an apple from his bag and gave it to Neji.

Not this again, Neji groaned inwardly, remembering the horse's giant teeth. But he obediently placed the apple on his flat palm and held it out. Shadow actually sniffed suspiciously at it, as if he thought Neji was trying to poison or trick him. It took several pats and soothing words from Shikamaru before he would deign to eat it.

"Good, good,' Shikamaru said, as Shadow crunched up the apple. "Now talk to him a little."

Talk to him? "Uh…good job eating that apple, uh…horse," Neji muttered, feeling supremely foolish.

"His name is Shadow. And calm down. Animals know when you're angry or afraid of them."

"I'm not afraid."

"You're tense. And probably angry, too."

Neji swore several times in his mind, but he was determined now to prove he could do it. Willing himself to be calm, he took some deep breaths and tried to clear his mind, as he did while meditating.

"Take the bridle," Shikamaru instructed. "Don't tug on it. Just try to get him to walk with you a little."

Neji grasped the bridle, but he stayed still. Relax your mind…breathe…clear your thoughts…breathe…

He could feel his consciousness shift, as what Shikamaru had been telling him sunk in. The horse was a living being; it had a mind, and it was as wary and uneasy about him as he was of it. He laid a hand on Shadow's side, feeling the muscles ripple, trying to impart a sense of calm.

And then they were walking, slowly and steadily. Neji could not have said who was leading who. When they reached the end of the stone wall Shadow stopped and turned his head, looking at Neji. And it seemed the most natural thing in the world to climb up onto his back, and ride him back to where Shikamaru was standing, looking suitably impressed.

"Wow. What did you do? I've never seen him take to anyone so fast."

Neji couldn't resist a smirk as he dismounted. "I just showed him who's boss," he said, even though that wasn't the way it had happened at all, and Shikamaru's raised eyebrow said that he knew it.

They spent the afternoon back at the Nara compound going over how to make the horse do various things. Unlike with Bo, you didn't have to prod Shadow or yank on the reins to make him move. He responded to even the gentlest pressure on the reins or subtle shifts in posture. Neji was beginning to see why Shikamaru valued him so highly as a mission horse.

After dinner, they all headed out to the Bon festival. It seemed similar to the festivals in Konoha, although it was more rowdy and raucous. Many people were drinking and there were games and other forms of gambling. The night had turned a little chilly as the sun went down, and Neji pulled Shikamaru's cloak around his shoulders. He had never given the cloak back after that first night. Shikamaru had offered to buy him a new one, when he was getting Neji's clothes made.

"I can just keep this one," Neji had told him. "Unless you want it back."

Shikamaru had frowned. "No, no…I don't, I just thought..." Neji knew it bothered him to have a newer one while Neji wore his old one. He didn't think it was the right way to treat a guest. But Neji, who had never really cared about clothes before, had grown attached to this particular cloak. That first night, he had sat up all night, afraid to close his eyes, the cloak wrapped around him like a shield. It had been his one source of comfort in this hideous new world – although he didn't like to admit it. It was too much like having a weakness.

Now, he followed Shikamaru to the center of the town square, where the traditional Bon dancing was going on. Several of Shikamaru's friends were taking part; he spotted Ino, Sakura, Kiba and Naruto among the dancers. One of the dancers, a slim young girl in pink, was particularly quick and graceful. As they got nearer they saw it was no girl, but Haku, the little Pet Neji had met at the business meeting.

"I don't usually dance," Shikamaru said, "but feel free to join in."

Neji generally didn't dance either, though his teammates did. He recalled Hinata's teammates urging her to join in, and how he had stopped her with a glare. Really he wasn't even sure why he had done that. There was nothing indecent about participating in the dances on a holiday. Had he just hated to see her having fun? He wondered if she had joined in this year, without his disapproving presence to inhibit her.

He noticed Shikamaru scanning the crowd in a seemingly casual way. Was he looking for that girl, the snotty one with the blonde puffs of hair? Neji felt a sharp prickle of dislike and hoped that she would stay out of sight. He hated the way she looked at him; but more than that, he hated the way Shikamaru looked at her.

Shikamaru's face lit up in a smile, and Neji braced himself to be polite as he looked in that direction too. A glad relief spread through him at the sight of Chouji, sitting in a wheelchair and munching some dango.

As the dancing ended, people dispersed into little groups making their way to the river's edge, where they would light lanterns to guide the spirits back to their home. Naruto bounded over, mopping his brow. Haku approached and greeted Naruto warmly; they were apparently great friends.

"I'm gonna say prayers for my parents – whoever they are and wherever they came from," Naruto said. "I never knew them."

"I knew my parents," Haku said in his soft voice, "but they're dead now. Our village is very, very far from here. I'm going to say extra prayers to make sure their spirits make it all the way back safely."

Naruto threw an arm around his friend's shoulders. "If you ever die, I'll say those extra prayers for you, so your spirit makes it back to your land."

"No," Haku said, definitively. "My spirit will not leave here. I will stay with my most precious person, Zabuza. I live to protect and help him, and if I die, my spirit will stay, watching over him."

"That's a good and loyal Pet," a person walking near them said approvingly. From the corner of his eye, Neji saw Shikamaru scowl at that. But did he know Haku's history; did he understand everything that went into Haku's decision?

They caught up to Shikamaru's parents and grandparents, who were walking with the Akimichi and Yamanaka clans. Ino had plopped herself onto Chouji's lap and was squealing with every bump as Chouji's father pushed them along. The three clans staked out a spot on the riverbank, where the small flickering lights of other lanterns were already beginning to float past.

Neji gathered a packet of matches and a couple of lanterns and slipped away to a more secluded spot downstream. Kneeling down there, he lit the candles for his mother and father.

"Father…mother…please forgive me for not being there to honor you at O-Bon. Please forgive me for dishonoring the clan by leaving the village and…everything else. I know I owe you so much…you have given me my life and all I am…and I will strive to be a better son. Father…"

For a moment he stopped and could not speak. The memory of his father, the one person in his life he was absolutely sure had loved him, was overwhelming. He did not often give in to grief. It was easier to bury it under anger and resentment. Even on days like this, when they visited his father's grave or honored him, his uncle and other clan elders were there, a bitter reminder of how they had sacrificed his father's life to save their own. But now, here, on this strange riverbank, with the rest of his life in tatters, he felt the sorrow overcome him, and he simply and achingly missed his father.

He drew in a deep breath, trying to get himself under control. His parents surely deserved something better than a weak, voiceless son who could not even say the proper prayers. Taking another breath, he spoke in a clear deep voice. "Father, mother, I honor you today and every day. Please travel back safely to your land." He leaned down and placed the two small lanterns on the water, where they bobbed gently for a moment before being caught by the current. The cool water lapped his fingers, a reminder of how close he had come to crossing over to that world himself. "Father, mother," he called after them. "Please be at peace."

"Hey!" an excited voice sounded behind him, startling Neji so much he almost tumbled into the river. Naruto was standing there, his face alight. He reached down a hand to help Neji up.

"Thanks," Neji said ungraciously. In his country it would be considered terribly rude to intrude upon another person's prayers. But this loudmouth obviously had no concept of manners.

"You're an orphan too? You are just like me!" He threw an arm around Neji's shoulders, hugging him. Neji stiffened automatically, but Naruto didn't seem to notice.

Neji brushed the sand from his clothes. "Is that something to celebrate," he asked coldly. "The fact that we are both enslaved orphans?"

"But just because we were slaves doesn't mean we can't be great," Naruto declared. "I want to become Kazekage someday!"

The idiot was delusional. "You can't," Neji said flatly.

Naruto's blue eyes flashed. "Who are you to say I can't?"

"You can't change the circumstances of your birth, the family you're born into. If you're not born into the right family, then some things are not possible. It's destiny."

"And who are you to decide that? You can't just say that no one can change their destiny," Naruto retorted. "Do you control the world? I don't think so!"

"I may not control the world, but I know enough about it."

"Have you always just followed your destiny?"

"Of course, what else could I –" Neji stopped short, remembering. Secretly learning the Main House moves; attacking the person he was supposed to protect; running away from Konoha – hadn't he rebelled against his fate all along?

"No," he said quietly, "no, I haven't."

Naruto broke into a broad grin. "You see? We can be anything we want to be! We control our destiny, not anyone or anything else!"

"Am I interrupting something?"

They turned to see Shikamaru walking toward them. Neji stepped back, away from Naruto's touch; he wasn't quite sure why.

Naruto turned to him excitedly. "You didn't tell me Neji was an orphan like me!"

"That's because he's not," Shikamaru said in his best you're-an-idiot tone.

Naruto frowned. "Then why…?" he asked, gesturing at the river, with its line of lanterns traveling downstream. Shikamaru followed the direction with his eyes. His expression changed, something in his face sharpening into alertness, as it had when he found out Neji was a killer rather than a simple refugee. Neji could feel his heart thumping. Shikamaru's gaze swung back to him. They stared at each other for a long, charged moment. Naruto looked uneasily from one to the other.

"Your parents are dead?" Shikamaru said. "Both of them?"

Neji swallowed. "Yes. I live with my uncle."

Shikamaru regarded him in silence with a little frown. It made Neji uneasy.

"I am not a helpless orphan! My uncle is head of the Hyuuga clan, and he –"

"Neji." Something in Shikamaru's quiet voice stopped him, made him feel ashamed. He looked down, watching the small lanterns come down the stream.

"I didn't – do what I did," Shikamaru said, "because I was afraid of your clan, or of you."

"He did it because he likes you!" Naruto said.

Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "Don't be troublesome. I don't believe anyone deserves to be a slave, not even helpless orphans. But for the record," Shikamaru said dryly, "I've never thought of you as helpless in any way."

Naruto chuckled at that, sounding relieved that some of the tension had ebbed. "So your father was head of your clan before he died?" he asked.

Neji could have lied and said, Yes, I am the next heir, but he was suddenly weary of pretending. What did it matter now? "No," he said, not bothering to keep the bitterness from his voice. "Because my father was second-born, just a few minutes after my uncle, he could never be the heir, and neither could I as his son."

"So I guess you won't be head of your clan when you go back," Shikamaru said, thinking it out. "What will you do?"

It was a good question, a monumental question, and one Neji had no real answer for. Would he even be able to go back at all? Or would he become like Haku, a man without a country? "I don't know," he said in a low voice.

"Well, you're smart, you'll think of something," Shikamaru said.

"Yeah, aren't you supposed to be some kind of genius?" Naruto added.

A muffled Boom! sounded and the sky lit up with a shower of bright red sparks. "The fireworks are starting," Shikamaru said, "come on." They followed Shikamaru along the riverbank to where there was a higher area that would be good for watching the show.

Neji gazed down at the river, where the two candles for his mother and father traveled, joining and mingling with the other spirit-lights, carried along by the current. He thought again of his failed seppuku attempt. He might have been one of those candles on the water, the only remaining trace of him that poem on Shikamaru's desk. Maybe he should have been, in the eyes of his clan; maybe the dishonor he had brought could never be lived down. Or maybe, just maybe, Naruto was right, that destiny could be overcome. But here he was, in this world, the ground solid and real beneath his feet and the fireworks overhead filling the sky with brilliant color as he, Shikamaru and Naruto climbed up the rocks, reaching out a hand to steady each other when the path became hard.

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A.N.: Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you thought!