Book I: Serial Dilution

Chapter XVII: The Great Escape

The Guards, Stan and Pete, stood outside of the Princess' chambers, pole-axes in their hands, staring straight ahead. All was quiet in the Castle as night fell over Corona. Many in the village beyond the castle walls were preparing to settle in for the night, or concluding their evening business. In the castle itself, most of the servants had retired to bed, and the King and Queen had just headed for their own chambers.

Stan and Pete had been put on duty to guard Rapunzel's "cell" till further notice. They took the night and morning shift, while two other guards – Diedrich and Sean – would take the shift for the "midsection" of the day, allowing the two friends to rest.

Stan yawned; Pete raised an eyebrow at him.

"Tired?"

"Should've gotten some more shut-eye before reporting," grumbled Stan in response.

Pete nodded sympathetically…then winced as his stomach rumbled under his armor plating.

"Hmph…should have eaten a bigger meal before coming, myself," he muttered.

"You 'n' me, both," snorted Stan.

There was a pause.

"Chicken?"

"Ugh."

"Well, I'm not having bagels at Attila's again."

"What's wrong with bagels at Attila's?"

"Nothing, just gets tiring after four days straight."

"Speak for yourself, they're-"

"Shh!" hissed Pete, and gripped his axe more tightly, as a struggling figure approached them. The yellow-booted being clumsily trundled down the hall, bearing a large stack of about a dozen colorfully wrapped boxes in his arms.

When the figure was close enough, Pete lifted a hand.

"Whoa, whoa, halt!" he exclaimed.

The figure stopped, and Pete carefully pried away one of the packages, allowing a "window" to be made in the stack of parcels. Through the gap, the pair saw a familiar face.

"Hi!" smiled Sora.

"Shouldn't you and your friends be getting ready to leave?" Stan cut to the chase, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"Well, yeah, but we wanted to make Rapunzel feel better before going," Sora explained, and nodded to the packages he carried. "Her birthday is coming up, so we pitched in and bought some things for her."

"Sorry, kid," Pete said, shaking his head, "Nobody but the King and Queen are allowed in or out."

"Look, we know what you're trying to do, Sora," Stan sighed, "And we frankly don't blame you. We don't wanna see the Princess locked up either! It's just our job."

Sora blinked…then laughed.

"Are you saying I'm trying to smuggle something in to help the Princess escape?" the teenager exclaimed. "Well, I'm just embarrassed for both of you!"

"Well," Pete shrugged, muttering to himself, "It was STAN who said it, but…whatever…"

"I promise," Sora smiled, "There's nothing but gifts in these packages. You can take a look, if you need to!"

The guards looked at each other…then shrugged.

"Alright," Stan said reasonably. "What have we got to lose?"

Pete nodded in agreement, and the pair began to unwrap and check the boxes. As they opened them they inspected the contents carefully. They found an inkwell, a snowglobe, a set of paintbrushes…even a pewter teapot. Nothing, however, seemed like it could help Rapunzel break free, no matter how elaborate the scheme. Sora smirked as he leaned back against the wall, and glanced towards the door.

The door opened a tiny sliver, and he saw Rapunzel's crimson lips quirk in a hopeful smile through the crack.

Sora grinned, winked, and gave her an "OK" signal with one hand.

Rapunzel nodded back, and the door quietly closed once more.

"Oh, wow!" Pete exclaimed, as he pulled an accordion out of one of the boxes. "I've always wanted to play one of these!"

"What's stopping you?" Sora practically purred.

Pete looked to the teenaged boy a bit doubtfully.

"I mean…I don't know if I should," he chuckled nervously.

"He's got a point," Stan nodded. "These are for the Princess, aren't they?"

"Well, yeah," shrugged Sora, "But trust me, she won't mind even a little bit if you give it a whirl."

Pete looked to Stan, as if for additional approval, his friend grinned and nodded.

"Try it!" he insisted, and then looked to Sora. "Seriously, we were just saying this morning, we were thinking of starting a band-"

"O SOLE MIO! STA 'NFRONTE A TE!"

Sora yelped, jumping about a foot in the air, before covering his ears quickly. Stan whooped and cheered (just how tone deaf WAS the guard?) as Pete began to play the accordion…or rather, mangled the concept of music as it was known to the human race, all while singing in the most off-key, whining tenor mortal eardrums could fathom.

"O SOLE MIO, O SOLE MIO!" Pete belted and warbled. "STA 'NFRONTE A TE! STA 'NFRONTE A TE!"

Sora winced, smiling even as his poor ears felt like they might just fall off.

Everything was going according to plan.

Unknown to the teenager or the bungling guards, another figure watched from around the corner, not so far away. He started to step out, intending to chastise his men…but then, a new thought struck him, and he changed his mind. The burly man with the moustache thus turned, and began making his way towards the King and Queen's chambers…

Meanwhile, outside the castle, at the base of the great tower…

"Uh…Quackers?"

"Yeah, Eugene?"

"What part of the escape plan says WE have to be the ones launched from the catapult?"

Donald smirked as Goofy and Flynn Rider sat in the launching mechanism of the very device Flynn mentioned. Maximus used his mouth to tighten the apparatus, turning the crank to allow it maximum power when it was set off.

"Keep looking," he quacked. "It's there!"

"A-Hyuck! Don't worry about it, Eugene!" chortled Goofy, with a bright, exuberant smile, feet dangling out of the "cup" and kicking like a small, eager child. "This oughta be fun!"

"Well, that makes one of us there," grumbled Flynn, and inspected the paper Donald had given him.

"All set, Max?" the duck checked with the horse. The white stallion nodded.

Donald nodded back, then lifted the telescope he held, looking up towards the tower. Five seconds later (Donald counted), Pascal scrambled up onto the balcony ledge. The tiny chameleon then began to change color repeatedly from black to green, almost like a blinking lightbulb.

"There's the go-ahead!" Donald squawked with a grin, and moved closer to Max.

"Aha!" Flynn exclaimed at that moment, slapping the paper, while Goofy peered over to look at it carefully. "I knew it! There definitely isn't anything here saying we, specifically-"

"Oops! My mistake!" Donald giggled, as he lifted his staff, which suddenly caught fire like a torch.

"Wait! NO!" Flynn yelped.

It was too late, of course; Donald swung his staff like a bat, and the fire seared through the rope that held the catapult ready.

SPROING!

"I DON'T LIKE THIS PLAAAAAAAAN!"

"YAH-HOO-HOO-HOOEY!"

The catapult launched, and Flynn Rider and Goofy went sailing into the air.

Donald extinguished his magician's staff. He and Maximus looked at each other; Donald lifted a wing, and Max a hoof, as they snickered and gave each other a high-five.

The pair went rocketing into the air, arcing their way towards the balcony beyond Rapunzel's barred window. They lighted on the balcony easily.

"Lighted" here meaning "slammed into the wall next to the window face first before flopping back to the ground."

Flynn moaned and after a moment managed to sit up, shaking his head to clear it. Goofy laughed excitedly, clapping his hands with glee.

"What a ride!" the big dog giggled.

"How are we even alive right now?" Flynn groaned. "And how many concussions do you think I just gave myself?"

"Aww, don't overthink it; happens to me ALL the time," Goofy shrugged it off, as he got to his feet and looked to Pascal, who waved cheerily.

"Hi ya!" he greeted.

"Goofy! Eugene!"

Flynn hopped to his feet and dusted himself off briefly, before moving to the barred window. Rapunzel stood just beyond.

"Blondie!" the former thief grinned. "I'm here to rescue you from a tower…again!"

"Stand back, both of you!" Goofy called, and readied his shield, stepping back a bit and reeling back like a discus thrower. Flynn backed to the edge of the balcony, Pascal bouncing up onto his shoulder and tilting his head curiously. Rapunzel stepped a pace or two away on the inside.

Goofy paused, intensely focused, then threw his shield like a frisbee. The sharp-edged circle sliced through the bottom part of the iron bars as it spun past…then boomeranged back, and sliced through the upper portion.

As the shield returned to Goofy's hands, the bars clanged onto the balcony. Rapunzel sprinted out of her room and hugged Flynn…then, with a smile, moved over and gave Goofy a chaste kiss on the nose.

The canine blinked…then blushed bright red and covered his snout.

"Gawrsh…no need fer that," he mumbled.

Pascal let out a squeaking laugh.

The Princess of Corona undid her long hair, and lashed part of it around the balcony railing. Eugene and Goofy each clung to her, and all three took a deep breath…before leaping off and swinging till their feet touched the outside wall. Then, the trio ran down the side of the tower itself. In seconds, they reached the bottom, and Rapunzel undid the knot high above, her hair dropping in luxurious coils to the ground around her.

"Welcome back!" Donald cheered, waving to them, while Max whinnied his own greeting.

"Well," the Princess sighed, smoothing out her dress as Goofy stumbled a bit, clearly dizzy, and Flynn panted from the speed and exertion, "That worked better than even I thought it would."

"Did it? Did it really?" chuckled Flynn, somewhat hysterically.

"Everybody okay?"

All eyes turned to see Sora hurrying out of the castle towards them.

"We're fine," Donald nodded.

"Good," sighed Sora and smiled to Rapunzel. "Great plan, by the way! Gotta say, listening to the guards murder music for so long wasn't easy, but…ehhh, I took one for the team."

"Oh, hey, that sounds really rough," Flynn remarked, sympathetically. "I feel kinda bad for you…oh, um, by the way, I WAS CATAPULTED INTO A TOWER, HANDSOME-FACE-FIRST!"

Sora winced and smiled bashfully at Flynn's yell, while Donald, Max, and Goofy all snorted with laughter.

"Heh heh…ah…s-sorry…"

"Okay, guys," Rapunzel broke in, trying to rein in the group before anything else could go wrong, "It won't be long till we're discovered. We should really-"

"THERE THEY ARE! SURROUND THEM!"

Sora whirled about and summoned the keyblade in a flash…and the group gathered together, Maximus crouching low and whipping his tail threateningly as he tried to block the path to Rapunzel, while the rest adopted battle-ready poses.

These reactions were in response to a whole squadron of guards – led by the burly, moustachioed Captain himself – seemingly leaping out of nowhere, all of them holding their own swords ready as they formed a semi-circle, backing the group against the wall.

The Captain glared at the group as they were surrounded, then glanced over his shoulder and nodded to someone behind him…before stepping aside as they entered the circle. Rapunzel gulped nervously, and the rest glared hotly…

…As King Frederic eyed them all with a bored sort of look.

"You know," the King commented, "You all REALLY need to be less predictable."