CHAPTER 28: Scorpion
A.N.: Sorry for the long wait after such a cliffhanging chapter, but this is a nice long one – hopefully worth the wait!
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Neji awoke feeling exhausted and disoriented, his mind filled with troubling dreams that he could not quite recall. He had a momentary confused impulse to reach out and touch Shikamaru's sleeping form for comfort. But in the next instant he realized that Shikamaru was not there. He was alone, on the futon in his own little room, and the previous night's events came rushing back.
In the dim morning light things seemed much less clear than they had the previous night. Was he really going to go through with this? Leave Shikamaru – steal the sword – throw his lot in with an Akatsuki criminal? And then what? Would they expect him to join Akatsuki? Or were they really going to return to Konoha?
Could he return to Konoha?
It was not too late to change his mind. He could just replace the sword on the wall, tell Shikamaru about the encounter with Itachi, and then…
…what would happen? Would Itachi be in danger? Would they try to warn Otogakure? Or had Itachi's plan been successful, and Orochimaru and his clan were already dead? At that thought, Neji felt a keen stab of regret – not that they were dead, but that he hadn't been the one to do it.
And if he didn't return the sword to Madara, what would happen to Suna? Especially if Otogakure was now weakened? Itachi had promised that Madara would not attack Suna if the sword was returned. Was that true? Could he trust that? He did not want Suna to be attacked. He did not feel more loyalty to Suna than to Konoha, but he did feel some loyalty. There were many people here he cared about. If he could keep the village from being attacked by Akatsuki…
But that sword belongs to Shikamaru now. It's his birthright, his destiny; you told him that. The Naras took such pride in that sword.
But wouldn't they give it up to save their village? Neji couldn't even look at the sword where it lay, concealed carefully behind his backpack and weapons pouch. Of course they would, he told himself. They're not sentimental.
His thoughts were racing, overwhelmingly. He needed to meditate and clear his mind, he told himself. He sat for a long time, much longer than usual, but it was no use; he could not seem to focus. He could hear Shikamaru up and moving around, but he did not open the door. He was not ready to face Shikamaru just yet. It was only when he heard Shikamaru going downstairs that he got up and got washed. He pulled on his clothes and tied his hair back with a savage yank. It hurt, and the pain steeled him for what he had to do.
Shikamaru came walking back into the room just as Neji finished tying on his headband. He was already fully dressed, with his uniform on and his hair tied up. At another time Neji might have made a joking remark about Shikamaru surprising him by not being lazy, but today he said nothing.
"Good, you're up," Shikamaru said.
Neji nodded silently.
"Neji…I really am sorry. I meant what I said…that I would never have used it."
Neji had meant to stay cool and speak as little as possible, but now his emotions broke through. "All this time, Shikamaru – I told you – I told you everything." Everything…what had happened with Kidoumaru…his family situation…how he had almost killed Hinata…even that he had willingly gone with Orochimaru.
"I know, I know, you did." Shikamaru rubbed his neck. "In time."
"In time? Yes. It takes time to trust a person. I trusted you, Shikamaru."
"Neji…" Shikamaru's voice cracked, and he reached out a hand in a helpless gesture. "It's not that I didn't trust you. I just…I wanted us to be equals."
"We were never equals."
Shikamaru stepped back as if he had been hit. Neji had a sense that the ground had cracked open between them, revealing an impassable divide. He understood he could not take the words back, could not repair what had been broken.
It was the truth – the truth we didn't want to look at.
They stood in heavy silence for a few minutes. Then Shikamaru cleared his throat. "Well…we should…get ready for the mission," he said in a low voice. "I got us breakfast."
They walked downstairs to the table, which was already set. Neji saw with a small pang that it was all his favorite foods – eggs, fish, rice, seaweed – prepared exactly as he liked them. There was even a plate of the apricot dumplings he loved. For a moment, guilt and doubt clouded his mind.
Then he pushed them away. Did Shikamaru think he could be bribed with sweets, like a child? Or like an animal, kept happy with apples and treats while it did his bidding?
The truth was, he thought, while he lived under Shikamaru's roof, he would never be a free man.
Shikamaru pushed the serving dishes toward him as he took a seat at the table. Neji inclined his head in a small bow. He could feel Shikamaru's eyes on him as he poured himself a cup of tea. He willed himself to stay cool and businesslike, and not betray the turmoil he was feeling inside.
His hands trembled slightly on the chopsticks, and he gripped them tightly so Shikamaru would not notice.
"Itadakimasu," he said. Willing his voice to stay steady, he asked a question about the mission. Shikamaru answered readily. He seemed eager to forget their argument and smooth things over.
Neji ate slowly. He was thinking it might be the last time he tasted the food of Suna. Perversely, he wished for some hot sauce or Spice of Life so that it would taste more like the South. He reminded himself that to travel back to the North, they would undoubtedly have to pass through many South Country villages, where he would have his fill of South Country food.
The thought of food made him shiver. He could feel the poison in his pocket, like a small, ticking bomb. Maybe Shikamaru would take charge of the food himself, and then it would be out of Neji's hands.
They finished breakfast and carried the dishes to the kitchen. One of Shikamaru's chopsticks rolled off his plate and landed in the tatami mat, sticking straight up.
"That's bad luck," Neji said, unable to control his feeling of dread.
Shikamaru retrieved the chopstick. "Nah, that's just in rice. Anyway, this isn't a hazardous mission." He set his dishes in the sink and wiped down the countertop. Over his shoulder he said, "Why don't you go pick up the food and meet me by the stables? I'll get the horses ready."
Walking through the corridor to the big communal kitchen, Neji felt like he had swallowed stones. Why did he feel this way – like everything was ending? He had not felt like this when he decided to commit seppuku. Then, it had been almost a relief.
The old woman in the kitchen handed him the bundle of food with a spiteful smile that Neji understood perfectly. There was indeed scorpion in there. He took it without a word and walked down the corridor a bit, to an empty training room.
Will I do this?
Can I do this?
He pulled the little vial of poison from his pocket, uncapped it, and gave a wary sniff. It had no scent that he could detect.
I don't need to do this…Shikamaru would let me go.
But what if he wouldn't? What if Itachi was right, and this was all an elaborate trap, as it had been with Orochimaru? What if Shikamaru did actually activate the seal, and Neji had lost his only chance of freedom?
And what about Kankuro? Even if Shikamaru was willing to let him go, he doubted Kankuro would be so generous.
He unwrapped the scorpion, which was even more disgusting than he remembered. Unlike the poison, it did have a strong, almost rancid smell. Neji nearly gagged.
Shikamaru would be waiting for him; if he was going to act, it had to be now. But it felt like there was no strength in his arm. He could not bring himself to pour the contents of the little vial onto the scorpion.
No, I can't do this.
He felt a sense of shame, but also a vast relief. So it was decided; it was right.
A sudden loud clatter of feet and voices sounded outside, coming toward the room. Neji started violently, his hand holding the poison jerked involuntarily, and a few drops spilled onto the scorpion. He stared at it in shock.
Then reason took over. Hastily he recapped the vial and stuffed the scorpion back into the food bundle, as a couple of genin teams came jogging past the doorway, laughing and talking loudly.
Maybe it was fate, he thought; maybe it was meant to be. But his heart was pounding and he felt a cold sweat breaking out over his body as he crossed the sunlit courtyard. He had never felt like this, not even on dangerous missions. He was generally used as a scout and in stealth attacks, or straight-up hand-to-hand combat. He had never been undercover, never had any practice at pretending or hiding his emotions. He thought of Sai, trained to be emotionless, to have no attachments. Now he saw the value of that.
"Hey," Shikamaru said as he walked up, "I gave you Keiro. He's strong and fast, and I've trained him to follow Shadow's lead." He took the food bundle from Neji and stashed it in his saddlebag.
Like you trained me to follow your lead? Neji thought, but he said nothing as he swung himself up into the saddle. Keiro was a large chestnut stallion; he seemed calmer than Shadow, but not as sluggish as Bo.
They rode out to the large North gate. Again Neji was hit with the strange, almost surreal thought that this would be the last time he would see the streets of Suna. It was not as wrenchingly sad as leaving Konoha, because he had only lived here six months, but it reawakened those feelings. He had left Konoha in such a hurry, and in so much anger, that he had not had time to reflect on how he felt. Here he knew he was leaving, and would probably never be able to return.
He reminded himself that he would be returning to Konoha. What was there for him? Would they welcome him back, or would he live in disgrace for what he had done? He didn't know.
But he would be a free man there. And his family, his heritage, his people were in Konoha.
But Shikamaru is not.
He pushed that thought out of his mind.
"Him?" Kankuro said as they rode up. "I thought it was two people from your team." He was wearing his stupid cat-ear getup again, Neji noticed.
"Neji is part of my team," Shikamaru said.
"I thought you said he would look like a normal person," Neji said to Shikamaru. "What's with the clown makeup?"
"This is what a puppeteer normally wears," Kankuro said, glowering at Neji. "But I guess there's not much culture in the North, huh punk?"
"Would you two cut it out?" Shikamaru said, sounding annoyed. "Let's focus on the mission."
Kankuro took the lead as they rode along, and Shikamaru dropped back to ride beside Neji. They did not talk much. Neji was preoccupied, trying to visualize the map in his mind, and the route he would have to take later that day.
"This is the Whispering Canyon," Shikamaru said, breaking into his thoughts, as they descended between tall cliffs vividly striated with crimson, gold and violet. Shikamaru had told him about this place, thought to be a romantic setting because the sighing sound of the wind sounded like lovers whispering back and forth. Here and there on the walls Neji could see love poems or proposals of marriage inscribed by eager lovers. He turned his face away. What could make a person feel that way?
A little further the landscape flattened out and opened up. Shikamaru pointed out a jagged line of mountains in the distance.
"There they are, the Dragon's Back mountains. See – don't they kind of look like it?"
Neji wished Shikamaru would stop pointing out all these places he had described in the past. It was a painful reminder of how much he had looked forward to this trip, before he found out the truth.
One aspect of the mountains did interest him, though – the spiky stones that formed the "dragon's tail." "That's where the Spike Pass Bridge is, up there, isn't it?"
"Yes," Shikamaru said, giving him an odd look, "but we're not going that way."
Neji remained silent with his eyes fixed on the road. Did Shikamaru suspect something? What would he do if he did?
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Shikamaru suspected Neji was still angry about the Pet Mark. He had looked forward to showing Neji the famous sights of his country, but Neji seemed distracted and distant. He didn't know what to do about it, other than to be patient and focus on the mission.
Now Neji was looking very intently in the direction of the Spike Pass Bridge. What was his interest in it? He recalled Neji's question during their fight.
"What if I just left the village?"
Was Neji considering leaving them?
He wished Kankuro weren't with them. His presence was making the strained situation between Shikamaru and Neji ten times worse. If only it could have been Chouji or Ino, or Asuma, Kakashi, Naruto…. Even Gaara would have been preferable. The future Kazekage didn't like the North much either, but he would have been mostly silent, and focused on the business of the mission.
They arrived at their first stop around mid-morning; a small village about an hour's ride from Suna. There was no shinobi force; only a small ragtag bunch of officers who policed the streets and guarded the gate. Shikamaru wasn't sure what training would be worthwhile or even possible. The best they could do, he thought, was ensure that they were allies, and have a strategy in place to get the children and old people out of harm's way in case of an attack.
Realistically, he thought they might be vulnerable to roving bandits, but they probably weren't in much danger from Akatsuki – unless they were used as a pawn to draw shinobi from the powerful nearby villages of Suna and Otogakure. Even then, he doubted it would make a big dent in those villages' defense. As much as he disliked Otogakure, the fact that the two villages could band together made them – and most of the small villages near them – fairly well defended against Akatsuki attacks.
Remembering the devastation in Ishigakure, he felt an uncharacteristic burning hate for the Akatsuki. What the hell did they want? Money? Power? What kind of sub-human monsters were so focused on their own gain that they didn't care how much suffering they caused, how many lives they destroyed?
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Neji wondered if Itachi had been able to rescue his brother – and hopefully, take out Orochimaru or some of his clan. He still felt a burning hate for them all, even after having killed Kidoumaru. He knew Shikamaru was afraid Suna would be weakened if Otogakure was attacked. But hopefully returning the sword to Madara would take care of that.
The mayor of the town met them at the gate with several of his officers, bowing and looking impressed.
"The son of the old Kazekage himself! We are so honored!"
Really? Neji thought. He could understand it it had been Gaara, but Kankuro seemed pretty useless.
"My office is too small for a meeting, I'm afraid," the mayor said apologetically. "But I have reserved a table at our finest teahouse."
They were shown to a large round corner table in the teahouse, which looked quite nice, if smallish. The lights were not bright and Neji removed his sunglasses, hoping no one would stare at his eyes. At a table nearby was a young woman with her children – a baby and a rambunctious young boy of three or four who was running about and climbing on the chairs.
"Can we get rid of the brats, please?" Kankuro groused. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow but said nothing. An officer spoke quietly to the woman, who rose, taking her son by the arm. The little boy turned to stare at their group, then pointed a chubby finger at Neji.
"I don't like him!"
Me? Neji thought. What about the cat-eared, face-painted freak next to him? He was further shocked when the woman did not apologize, merely shushed her son and hurried him away.
He recalled Itachi's words: These people are not our people, Neji-kun. This land is not our land.
In the meeting, too, he noticed that they pretty much ignored him, directing their questions and remarks to Kankuro and occasionally, Shikamaru. From their body language, he could tell they were uncomfortable having him there.
"What would Akatsuki want with a tiny village like us?" one village elder asked worriedly. "What could they possibly gain from it?"
"It's a distraction," Shikamaru said. "They want to divert forces from the larger villages so they can attack."
"But they're diverting some of their own people as well," Kankuro said. "And they have less manpower to start with. It's like the scorpion and the frog. The scorpion needed to get across the river, so he asked the frog to carry him. The frog refused, saying no, you'll sting me. The scorpion promised he wouldn't. So the frog lets him get on his back, they start across the river, and halfway across, the scorpion stings the frog. As they're sinking, the frog says, Why did you do that? Now we're both gonna die! The scorpion says, I can't help it, it's my nature." He took a drink of tea. "Attacking people is Akatsuki's nature. They're never just going to come in the village, have some ramen, and see the sights. They'll come to terrorize, in whatever way they can."
"On the bright side, though," Shikamaru said briskly, "the fact that this village is small and relatively unimportant in their eyes means they won't waste a lot of time and energy attacking it. If you defend yourself well, they may back off. Post guards all around to watch the borders. If you spot anyone suspicious – Neji, what do you think, launch an attack or just lockdown the village?"
"Both," Neji said. Eyes turned to him, curiously. "Don't engage them one on one; they're too dangerous. Lockdown the village and bombard them from a distance."
It went on like this all morning – the three of them offering advice, teaching strategy, reassuring the frightened villagers that Suna would assist them if needed. Shikamaru continued to include Neji in the conversation, turning to ask his opinion, and gradually the village people did as well, speaking to the two of them rather than just Kankuro. Neji begrudgingly had to admit, however, that Kankuro proved surprisingly smart and knowledgeable.
He wondered how it would go in Wakaremichi. There were rumors that Akatsuki had already been seen in that village, so the plan was to go in incognito for a couple of days, to see what they could find out. They would hammer out the scheme further after they left here and work out their disguises. Neji had never done undercover work before and he found himself anticipating it.
Then he remembered he would not be going on to Wakaremichi. When they stopped at the river, he would slip away, to meet the Uchiha brothers at the Spike Pass Bridge – assuming Itachi had been successful in Otogakure.
For a moment he wavered. He did not have to go, after all…. What if he simply continued on in the mission, continued on in his life as it had been.
But if Itachi had been successful, then he needed to give them the Masamune sword, because Suna would be more vulnerable now, and he needed to ensure that Madara did not attack them.
And he could not stay a slave. Now that he knew the truth, it would be unbearable to live in that cage.
Shikamaru smiled at him across the table. Looking at the small gold glint of the earring Shikamaru wore, Shikamaru's eyes upon him as he sat drinking tea, Neji suddenly remembered the deadly package in Shikamaru's food bundle.
He could not let that happen. He could not stay here, but he would not kill Shikamaru. He would find a way to sneak it out of the pack, or pretend to drop it in the sand so it was inedible. His mouth felt dry and he took a sip of tea.
The sun was rising high in the sky when they left the village. They had had to take a detour to get there, so they rode through the mountains to get back to the main road. They had been traveling almost an hour when Shikamaru called up to Kankuro.
"Hey, the river's up ahead. Why don't we stop a bit to give the horses some water and go over the plan."
They stopped at the banks of the slow-moving river and tethered the horses. Neji could see the Spike Pass Bridge, far in the distance, but it seemed a long way away. There was a quicker route than simply following the river, he knew, but he would have to figure out exactly where they were in relation to it.
"I'm gonna go give that cactus some water," Kankuro said, disappearing behind a rock. Shikamaru stretched and headed uphill, to where there was a large flat area. Neji stalled a bit, pretending to wash his hands. In reality he wanted to fill a couple of extra canteens for his journey, and also take a look at the map. Pulling it surreptitiously from his bag, he studied it for several minutes, until he thought he had it memorized. He would have to make some excuse and slip away while Shikamaru and Kankuro were talking strategy.
Trying to be quick, he stashed the map and canteens in his bag and headed up the hill. At the top, Shikamaru and Kankuro were seated on the ground and had unpacked some of the food. Neji felt an icy chill go through him as he recognized the distinctive revolting sight and smell of scorpion, unwrapped and spread out before them.
"No, don't eat that!" The words burst out of him. They both stared at him like he had lost his mind.
"You really are a girl," Kankuro said with a sneer.
"You mean a fearless warrior," Shikamaru said, "like your sister?"
Ordinarily Neji would have been annoyed, both at Kankuro's comment and at the mention of Temari, but right now he had more pressing concerns. "No, I really think it's gone bad – it doesn't smell right."
Shikamaru laughed. "No, that is how it's supposed to smell – gross, I know." He leaned forward to take a piece, but Neji was quicker. Lunging in front of Shikamaru, he grabbed the scorpion up and hurled it away down the side of the hill, where it splattered on the rocks below.
"You goddamn white-eyed – that was my lunch!" Kankuro leaped up from the ground, ready to tear Neji apart.
Instantly Shikamaru was on his feet as well, stepping between them with his hands out. "Neji – what – ?"
"Pets are supposed to taste their Masters' food, aren't they?" Neji said, desperately hitting on the first explanation that came to mind. "I can't let you eat spoiled food."
"Knock it off," Shikamaru said, and now there was real anger in his voice.
"What the fuck is the matter with you?" Kankuro demanded.
"Kankuro," Shikamaru said over his shoulder, "there's some in my pack as well. We can eat that."
Oh no. No…
Neji watched in numb horror as Kankuro pulled Shikamaru's pack toward him and pulled out what was unmistakably the scorpion he had picked up from the kitchen that morning.
I threw the wrong one away…
"You come near this one, White-Eyes," Kankuro growled, "and I'll chop your fucking hands off."
Neji had no doubt that he meant it. He was cornered, out of ideas. He had a momentary wild urge to just throw himself on the ground and confess everything to Shikamaru. But then Kankuro would definitely want to take his life for treason. And if he fought back – if he harmed or killed Kankuro – what would happen to the Naras then? Either way, it was as he had thought that morning. There was no going back.
Maybe it was fate; maybe this had been his fate all along.
Shikamaru had been staring at him in angry confusion, but his expression suddenly changed, as if realizing something.
Does he know?
He could not seem to look away from Shikamaru. Shikamaru didn't look happy, but beyond that Neji couldn't read his expression. He stood frozen, waiting, but Shikamaru did not move or speak.
"Damn," Kankuro said, looking from one of them to the other as he noisily chomped scorpion. "If you guys are going to – do something, go behind those rocks over there. I don't want to puke up my lunch."
Shikamaru did not even seem to hear him. He just stayed there gazing at Neji in that strange way.
He knows.
He knows.
And another thought surfaced in his mind, like a river snake rising from the water. I have to leave.
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Shikamaru thought he knew what was going on, why Neji was acting so bizarrely jumpy and irrational. It was just as he had suspected; just as he had feared earlier in the trip.
He's leaving me.
He thought he should say something, but he could not speak. Neji's eyes were wide, his lips slightly parted.
I want to touch you one more time…
But he could not. He tried to memorize this – the vision of Neji as he stood silhouetted against the sun, backlit by the late-afternoon rays. The strong, square shape of Neji's hands…the graceful way he stood…the wisps of black hair around his face that had escaped his ponytail…the muscular curve of his shoulders…
He had never seen anyone like Neji; he had never known anyone like him. Neji stood there looking at him, and Shikamaru thought he could see all his own ambivalence and yearning and grief reflected back, as if they were two sides of the same coin, yin and yang, connected forever.
Then Neji was gone.
Shikamaru sat down slowly on the ground. He had to act normal; he had to go on with this mission, even though everything in him wanted to run down that path after Neji.
I always meant to set you free, Neji, but not – not so soon. I thought we had six more months.
"Maybe the crazy White-Eyes was right," Kankuro said, around a mouthful of scorpion. "This does taste a little funky."
Shikamaru did not even hear him. He reached for the scorpion without thinking and chewed it without tasting it.
###
The horses raised their heads as Neji approached, then resumed eating the wild grasses on the riverbank when they saw it was him. For a moment he considered taking Shadow, who was undoubtedly a faster and stronger horse than Keiro. But he could not bring himself to do that. He had taken Shikamaru's sword; he could not take his horse as well.
He thought about Uchiha Itachi, and about Shikamaru. Like Neji, Itachi was from an old, prestigious clan of the North. Like Neji, he was at odds with his family and had broken from them. Itachi was a powerful all-around fighter, far greater than Shikamaru would ever be. And there was no denying that Itachi was a beautiful man. Looking at him, Neji could easily understand why he had been the heartthrob of Konoha while he was there.
Itachi had been his hero since childhood. There was no telling if anything would happen between them if he joined Itachi, but certainly the opportunity would be there.
But his mind kept going to Shikamaru; Shikamaru's slow smile, his quick mind, the thoughtful way he gazed at people. The way Shikamaru had included him in the conversation… kept Neji's secrets…lied to his family and friends to protect Neji…
And kept his own secret, and lied to Neji.
A fresh burst of anger fueling his determination, he put one foot into the stirrup and swung himself up onto Keiro's back. Shadow tossed his head and whinnied as if he knew what was going on.
No, he's only a horse, how could he know anything?
His heart was racing. At any moment he expected Shikamaru and Kankuro to come chasing after him, but they did not. Trying to calm down, he took a few deep breaths. He had to head west, that much he knew. There was a road up ahead, more direct than following the river.
It hit him suddenly, an intense stinging, tingling feeling in his forehead, right where the Pet Mark was. Then he felt a wave of pain and dizziness. He gripped the reins, feeling sick. He could not believe it, and yet, in the back of his mind, it was what he had feared. The sense of betrayal was worse than the physical pain.
Was Shikamaru activating the Mark?
But after a few seconds, the pain ebbed, and the stinging in his forehead subsided. Neji closed his eyes for a second. He knew what it meant, even if he didn't want to admit it.
Shikamaru had not activated the Mark. He had eaten the poisoned scorpion and it was making him sick.
Neji's hands were shaking. He tried to remind himself of his secret mission. He would not live in a cage. And he would return the sword to Madara so that Akatsuki would not attack Suna. Maybe that would in some small, misshapen way repay some of his debt to the Naras.
He pushed away the horrible dread creeping through his mind.
No, it was only a few drops…surely not enough to kill a man…
But his mind kept returning to Shikamaru…Shikamaru standing up to Kabuto in the Kazekage's office, Shikamaru outwitting him when they sparred, Shikamaru holding him while he was sick…
Okay, Neji, you just relax…I'm going to take care of you…
Shikamaru's gift to him, the beautiful kimono he had designed. The way he had brought Neji tea and stayed with him while he slept after the tournament …Shikamaru lying on the bed, his hair loose, his lazy grin…
I knew I'd get you to laugh eventually, Neji.
Another spasm of pain gripped him, this time worse than before, and a wave of dizziness so strong he almost fell off the horse. A paralyzing weakness, and a sense of helplessness and hopelessness swept over him. Then it was gone, leaving a cold certainty that was much worse.
Shikamaru was dying.
And suddenly, his mind flashed back to the first time he had ever seen Shikamaru, how Shikamaru had looked at him, not with disgust or hostility, but with interest and concern. And how Shikamaru had, without a moment's hesitation, pulled off his cloak and tossed it to Neji.
Neji yanked the reins around, turning Keiro back the way they had come, and dug in his heels. "Keiro, go, go!"
Itachi was wrong, wrong about so many things. He might be a brilliant fighter, but he was still an Uchiha, a clan that only knew darkness. And Neji, in his stupidity, had allowed himself to be drawn into that darkness as well.
He urged Keiro on, trying to make him go faster. As they neared the site he could see Shikamaru lying on his side on the ground, one arm wrapped around his midsection. Neji leaped down from Keiro's back and ran to him. Shikamaru was conscious, but just barely. He gazed at Neji through half-closed eyes and reached out a hand weakly.
"Neji…are you…okay…?"
Neji fell to his knees beside Shikamaru. "You're alive," he breathed in overpowering relief. "Come on." He took Shikamaru's arm, ready to lift him up.
"…Kankuro…"
Now Neji saw Kankuro lying a short distance away, face down. "He might be – I don't know if we can help him." Reluctantly, he hurried over to Kankuro. Pulling off the ridiculous cat-ear mask, he felt for a pulse on Kankuro's neck. Surprisingly, there was one.
"All right, I'll get him in a minute. You first." He scooped Shikamaru up into his arms and sprinted down the path to where Shadow was tied.
"I think…I've been poisoned…" Shikamaru whispered. He grimaced, as if trying to smile. "What a way to go, eh?"
Neji felt as if his heart was breaking. "No. You're not going to die. I'm going to get you help," he vowed. As quickly as he could, he strapped Shikamaru onto Shadow's back and raced back to where Kankuro lay. Not bothering to be gentle, he slung Kankuro's unconscious body over his shoulder and hurried back to the horses. Kankuro's horse looked skittish, so he tied Kankuro over Keiro's saddle, hoping the horse really would follow Shadow. As an afterthought, he grabbed the bundle of poisoned scorpion and stuffed it into his bag.
Shikamaru was slumped forward, clutching Shadow's neck. Neji vaulted up into the saddle behind him, wrapping one arm firmly around his waist, and dug his heels into Shadow's sides.
"Keiro, come. Shadow, go, quickly!"
It would be a more direct route back to Suna than they had traveled earlier, but it would still be an hour or more, even at top speed. He was grateful for the flat, open terrain of the lands around Suna; if he had had to ride through the woods of the North Country it would have been much slower going. He prayed to all the gods, making desperate bargains. He would gladly live in a cage for the rest of his life, if only Shikamaru lived.
Keiro stumbled and slowed, whinnying loudly. Looking back, Neji saw the problem – the unconscious Kankuro was sliding down, half out of the saddle. Neji had a momentary mad impulse to just let him fall by the wayside. But he did not. Cursing Kankuro under his breath, he dismounted and wrestled Kankuro back up on Keiro's back, tying him more securely this time. Then he urged the horses on again, at a gallop.
It seemed to take forever to Neji's impatient eyes, but eventually the gates of Suna came into view. The guards allowed him to pass without question when they saw the state of Shikamaru and Kankuro. They raced through the streets of Suna to the hospital.
"Help, I need help!" he yelled as they rode up to the hospital. "They've been poisoned!"
Orderlies and medics rushed out of the hospital, including Naruto's teammate, Sakura.
"Poisoned?" she repeated in shock.
"It's Lord Kankuro!" another person said. Shikamaru and Kankuro were lifted from the horses and brought inside on stretchers.
"Gaara…" Kankuro mumbled. "…Is Gaara…okay?"
So Kankuro, too, had a precious person – his younger brother. With his cat-eared hood removed and his makeup mostly gone, he did indeed look like a normal person, as Shikamaru had said.
Shizune came hurrying out. "They were poisoned? By what?"
"It is Akatsuki poison," Neji told her. He handed her the wrapped bundle of scorpion. "It was in this."
"Get Sasori-san!" Shizune told the orderlies. "And Lady Tsunade. Tell them it's urgent!"
Shikamaru and Kankuro were wheeled into a room. Neji tried to follow but was stopped by a guard. "You wait outside."
Neji paced the hallway, watching the medics inside working on Shikamaru and Kankuro. Shikamaru had not moved or spoken since he was brought in, but he was still breathing, as far as Neji knew. He clung to that tiny shred of hope.
He realized that this was his chance to slip away. In all the commotion and panic, no one was paying any attention to him. He could still make a getaway, leave the village, and become a free man. He might even be able to catch up to the Uchiha brothers if he went quickly. If he stayed there would surely be questions, and he would probably be in a lot of trouble.
But he could not leave. To leave Shikamaru now would be like cutting out his own heart. He realized he did not care about what happened to him. He just wanted Shikamaru to recover.
Sasori came down the hall, followed by Deidara. Shizune hurried up to them. Neji caught the words, "Akatsuki poison," and "heart rate dropping."
Deidara stared at Neji. "I thought you were just having a piece on the side, yeah. I didn't think you meant to kill anyone."
Neji looked around. People were staring at him with hostility and suspicion, as usual, but this time he knew he deserved it.
"Please," he said, "just save his life."
Deidara raised an eyebrow. He started to say something else, but was cut off by Sasori sharply beckoning him over.
"Deidara, go get me these items I've written down here. And be quick about it."
"Yes, Sasori-danna!" Deidara sped off. Sasori's eyes fell on Neji. He said something in a low voice to the guards.
"Come with us," one of the guards told Neji.
"No – please – I don't want to leave him!"
"Should've thought of that before you poisoned him."
Neji did not want to start a brawl there in the hallway; he did not want to do anything that would distract the medics from saving Shikamaru's life. But he would not let them drag him away from Shikamaru. He pulled his arm free and put out his hands, warding them off.
"Just let me stay! I won't cause any trouble."
But they surrounded him, they kept coming even as he spun to evade and block them. Then he felt a sharp jab in his left shoulder. He turned his head swiftly to see a medic backing away with a hypodermic needle in her hand. Then it all went black.
He awoke feeling as if his head was encased in sand. There was a pain in his left shoulder, and his legs felt wobbly. He was barefoot, his sword and weapon pouch gone. Groggily, he looked around. He was in a small room with padded walls and no windows. Maybe this was where mental patients were kept, or injured criminals. Or was he even still in the hospital? He had no idea. How long had he been out? Shikamaru – was Shikamaru all right?
Pulling himself to his feet, he staggered to the door. It was locked. He banged on it and called for several minutes. Finally a bored-looking guard showed up, looking through the small barred opening in the door. "Feeding time isn't for another hour. Knock off the yelling and settle down."
"I don't want food," Neji said impatiently, although he realized he had not eaten since breakfast. "Nara Shikamaru – how is he doing? What is his condition?"
"Never heard of him."
"How about Kankuro?" Neji demanded. He didn't really care about Kankuro, but the guards might. "They came in together – they were poisoned. Are they all right?"
"Lord Kankuro? Poisoned?" The guard looked taken aback. He took a harder look at Neji. "Are you a White-Eyes? What's your interest?"
"I was the one that brought them in. Please, open the door. I need to see him."
The guard shot him a dubious look and backed away. "I don't know anything."
"Wait!" Neji said desperately. "What time is it? You know that, don't you?"
"It's a little after five a.m." With that, the guard disappeared from view.
A little after five…it had been after five p.m. when he brought them in. So he had been out for…over twelve hours.
What had happened to Shikamaru in that time? Was he still alive?
Surely – surely if anything had happened, he would have felt it, wouldn't he? Like he had felt it before, and at other times?
But he had been drugged…not knowing or feeling anything. Maybe he would have felt it if –
No. No.
The thought of Shikamaru dying while he was out of it and not even able to notice was unbearable. He felt like he might lose his mind.
He could not see the guard through the small window, but he could hear voices from the hall.
"Hey, do you know what's going on?"
"Otogakure was attacked," another voice said. "Akatsuki. I heard Orochimaru himself is dead."
So Itachi's plan had succeeded. Orochimaru was dead. He should have felt glad, but his overwhelming fear for Shikamaru wiped out everything else.
"That White-Eyes said Lord Kankuro was poisoned…"
"Yeah. They got all the big guns up there…the Kazekage…Lord Gaara….He was telling them heads would roll if they didn't save his brother."
Leaning against the door with his ear pressed to the crack, Neji thought how fortunate it was that he had not after all left Kankuro by the side of the road. Time passed – how much, he didn't know. It felt like hours, but it might have been less. He paced the cell, hating himself.
I did this. I did this to Shikamaru.
He was like the scorpion of the story, striking blindly and taking them both down. And the Masamune sword, he wondered, where had it ended up?
Suddenly, he heard the door being opened. To his surprise, it was not the guard that entered, but Sakura.
"Neji-kun…Shikamaru is awake and asking for you."
Neji felt a rush of relief so strong he almost fell to his knees. "Please – take me to him!"
"It was touch and go for awhile," Sakura said, as they walked through the corridors with the guard accompanying them. "Lady Tsunade was amazing. That was a very powerful poison they used, but she managed to make an antidote."
Shikamaru had been moved to a private room. There was a crowd of people in the hall outside; Neji recognized Ibiki and Lord Jiraiya among them. Sakura opened the door to the room. Shikamaru was lying on the bed there, looking very weak and pale. Neji's heart twisted painfully to see him that way.
"Neji! I was…so worried…They told me…you were locked up…forgive me. I would have never…if I had known. Are you…all right?"
Neji could not speak for a moment. Shikamaru, who had almost died because of him, was begging his forgiveness? "Shikamaru…" His voice cracked on the word.
"What? What's the matter?" Shikamaru raised his head, looking concerned. "Are they threatening you? Don't…worry…it's just ignorance… Maybe you haven't heard what happened."
"No, Shikamaru, I…"
"Orochimaru's new Pet, the one you recognized…his brother is Akatsuki….They murdered everyone…not just Orochimaru and his sons but…Anko…Tayuya…all the people who worked there…" Neji could hear the undertone of sorrow in Shikamaru's voice. "He put…poison in the well water…They must have found out about our mission somehow…and wanted…to keep us off their trail. But…" Shikamaru looked up and gave him a weak grin, "…luckily they didn't know…you don't eat scorpion, so…they didn't get you…" Shikamaru looked so happy at this that Neji felt his heart clench painfully.
"Shikamaru…" Emotion overcame him and he could not go on. He slid to his knees beside the bed, bowing his head.
"Neji…are you crying?"
Neji realized that he was. He could not recall the last time he had cried. "I…there is something I have to tell you."
Shikamaru sat up a little, putting his hands on Neji's shoulders. "It's all right…I think I know…what you were planning to do."
"You know?" Neji looked at him in shock.
"Yes, I know…you were planning to leave me. Because of…this Pet Mark thing, right? But it's okay. You…came back. And you saved my life and…Kankuro's…"
"There is more to it than that." Neji drew a deep breath. "Uchiha Itachi was in Suna. I saw him in the market. He told me what they were planning to do in Otogakure."
Shikamaru frowned at him in a confused way. Neji knew he was probably wondering why Neji had not said anything to him about this.
"He is also the one who told me about the Pet Mark. He asked me to come back to Konoha with him and his brother."
"But he…tried to poison you…because you knew his plan…?" Shikamaru's frown deepened.
"No." Neji swallowed hard. "He gave me the poison. But he did not put it in. I –"
Shikamaru dropped his hands. He stared at Neji, looking as if he had been punched in the stomach. "You…? You tried to…kill me, Neji?"
"I spilled it – a few drops – I –"
"Because you thought…I would activate the Pet Mark," Shikamaru said dully. He pushed the covers off and struggled to his feet. Slowly and painfully, he made his way to the window and leaned against it, looking out.
"Many people…warned me…this would happen," Shikamaru said. He sounded utterly defeated. "They told me…you couldn't be trusted…that you would turn on me…even kill me if you could…" He was silent a moment. "I didn't believe them. I was sure I knew better…because I knew you. I knew you would never do a thing like that." Still leaning heavily against the window, he turned to look at Neji. "Evidently…I was wrong in that, Neji. I don't know you at all."
Neji could hardly stand to look at the sadness in Shikamaru's eyes, the way he gripped the window frame for support. He forced himself to, because he deserved it.
"And you…don't know me at all," Shikamaru said. The pain in his voice tore at Neji's heart. "To you…I was no different than Orochimaru and his clan."
"No! That's not true, Shikamaru!" The words burst out of Neji. "I was too much in the darkness to see the truth – you are the best person I have ever – "
But Shikamaru did not seem to hear him. His eyes were shut and his face had gone dead white. He took one shaky step toward the bed before crumpling to the floor. Neji leaped to catch him. He heard his own voice, yelling desperately for help.
Guards and medics burst into the room. Ibiki grabbed Neji's hair, hauling him up off Shikamaru, and hurled him roughly against the far wall.
"Get off him, you devious little lowlife! You were probably plotting all this with those Uchiha assholes."
"There's no love lost between Hyuuga and Uchiha," Jiraiya observed, as the medics surrounded Shikamaru.
"There's no love lost between North and South, either," Ibiki shot back bitterly.
Except that I love Shikamaru, Neji thought in wonder, lying dazedly against the wall. How had he never realized this, until it was too late? He loved Shikamaru.
Maybe because he had never imagined he would love anyone, especially after what had happened with Kidoumaru. The word love had been a wholly foreign concept to him, something he had regarded as he would a myth or superstition. But now he knew what it meant; now he knew with absolute certainty that this was what he felt. He would gladly give up his life for Shikamaru to become healed and well again; he would give up any chance he had of salvation in the next world if he could hold Shikamaru in his arms again, just for one minute, just to tell him how sorry he was.
But, he knew, he might never get that chance now.
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A.N.: Thanks for reading! Please leave a review and let me know what you thought (even if you curse me, haha!)