Edward felt sort of like a glob of jam. It was an odd representation of what he felt but somewhat accurate.
His body felt completely disconnected. It was like floating. It was kind of nice not to feel anything for awhile. Then he shifted, and that was not nice. It was painful. It was like he fell down from the height he was floating on in a very painful, ungraceful fashion.
Edward sucked in a long breath through clenched teeth, shuddering. The pain subsided ever-so-slightly. He settled down, not even realising that he'd been writhing because of the pain. That had only made the whole thing worse in the long run, though.
A hand reached out and gently touched Edward's shoulder. No matter how gentle the touch was it still made him jump. He was not prepared for a surprising touch from someone behind him. He felt chills crawl up his spine and saw memories fade in and out of focus under the black fog in his mind. Edward's eyes stayed closed in an attempt at maintaining his sleepiness and dullness of mind. It also may have been to tell the owner of the hand to back off.
It very clearly wasn't Alphonse so it was either Mustang's hand or Hughes's. The fifty percent chance that that could be Mustang was enough to make Edward uncomfortable.
Roy had his hand hovering over Edward. He didn't touch him, but he was ready to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. The voice in his head kept telling himself that the next time Edward groaned he'd lay his hand on him just to calm him down, but his body decided "no".
Edward groaned, but Roy told himself, next time, I'll do it next time. It went like that too many times. Roy sighed exhaustedly at his cowardice. He just ever-so gently placed his hand on Edward's shoulder.
The kid jumped a little. He shivered and froze. No, please don't have a flashback! I am so stupid! Please, don't trigger anything!
"Mis- m- mister Hu- Hughes..." Edward's voice was so quiet, Roy wasn't sure he actually heard him. It certainly didn't sound like him. His face was pointing into the back of the couch so even if he opened his eyes, which he hadn't done yet, he wouldn't be able to see for himself. He probably thought Roy was Hughes because of Maes's natural fatherly instincts.
Roy picked up his own hand. He had to answer Edward. On the kid's shoulder, he wrote "N-O".
Edward's reaction surprised him. The boy pulled away at lightning speed and curled up on himself, whimpering. He was most likely completely unaware of noise escaping him.
Edward lifted his hand shakily and started writing something on the back of the sofa. Roy watched as the words "G-O A-W-A-Y" were spelled out.
"N-O", Roy wrote on Edward's shoulder again.
Edward pulled away. He started spelling out another word. All he got to was "L-E" before Roy knew what Edward was trying to say. He was so confused. Should he listen and go, or was he supposed to stay? He had no idea what was appropriate in this situation. Was he being incredibly rude for no reason? Edward wanted to be alone, and he wasn't letting him be alone.
Roy left Edward on the couch and went to an arm chair right by the sofa. Tension that Roy hadn't noticed before melted off of Edward. His shoulders sagged tiredly.
It was about ten minutes later that Edward was rolling over to face the open living-room and not just the back of the couch. He, by this time, had opened his eyes and was scanning the room with curiosity. When his eyes fell on Roy, he scowled and grunted in annoyance.
Edward sat up. He held in winces of pain at the movement. He mumbled something under his breath and looked up at Roy.
Roy just shrugged. He had no idea what Edward had just said. He didn't even know if it was meant for him. It probably wasn't very clean if it was for him.
Edward looked thoroughly annoyed at Roy. "The bathroom! Where is it?!" He glared at Roy as he pointed down the hall to a room. Well, it wasn't explicit.
Edward was on his unstable feet in seconds. He slowly made his way towards the restroom. He was coming dangerously close to tipping over.
Roy stood up and took Edward under the elbow. He couldn't exactly let his charge rip open stitches by falling about. Edward ripped his arm away putting several steps between them before he fell face first towards the ground. He yelped in surprise.
Roy arms moved on their own. He grabbed Edward around his waist and held him.
Edward squirmed and fought against the arms. "Let me go!" He shouted angrily, trying to bite Roy's hand in an effort to give himself freedom.
"Stop that, Fullmetal!" Roy wasn't about to drop Edward, and trying to avoid being bitten was tricky. He may have been the most uncertain about this whole situation, but he knew enough not to drop Edward.
"Don't touch me!! You're such a creep!!leave me alone!!" Edward went limp in Roy's arms, nearly giving him a heart attack. He laid Edward on the ground only to find Edward glaring up at him. Pain was in his eyes and covering his face. His ribs must be in agony. Why won't he just listen? Why does be have to act tough?
"Fullmetal! I thought you had fainted!" Roy was annoyed at the kid for that. He had seriously thought that they might have had to rush to the hospital right after getting Edward out of there. He was not interested in all the doctors knowing that he couldn't even watch out for a kid for one single day
"I said not to touch me," Edward hissed. He slowly got to his feet, pushing away any help that was offered.
Watching Edward limp away with a scowl on his face, Roy sighed. This was going to be impossible if Edward kept acting like he was. Roy knew Edward was proud, but he needed to accept some help. Roy knew that he was being a hypocrite thinking that because in Edward's place, he knew he would be the same.
Edward slammed the bathroom door. He immediately reached out and hooked onto the ceramic sink as he nearly fell over. He was so stiff and sore everywhere, and everything hurt. It wasn't as bad as when he first woke up, but it was still painful.
He held his breath to listen for any breaths outside or any slight shuffles that would give someone away if they were standing on the other side of the door.
There was nothing. Of course there was nothing! You're deaf, idiot!
Edward listened to nothing. It was complete, terrifying lonely silence. It was too much. Never again! Never again would he hear anything!
A choked sob that could no longer be held in escaped his throat. It had been a whole week. That was too long! He wanted it to stop, but he couldn't fix this. It was almost painful to come to that realisation. Why? Why did this have to happen? He had lost so much! Where was equivalent exchange?
Roy sat at his kitchen table where he was close to a phone and where he was still close enough to be there for Edward if something were to happen -something else. He had tried to stay near to the kid but seriously didn't think it was possible after hearing the kid sob. It had been fast and didn't last long but it happened. Roy couldn't stand hearing it and to think it was only going to get worse. He had so many obstacles. One of them was the conversation about Edward's honourable discharge which he swore to himself had to happen tonight. It would probably be hard on Edward for awhile, but he couldn't be left in the dark about this any longer. It was bad enough that Roy was waiting until a after dinner so that he could be sure Edward ate.
"Where is Alphonse?" That question alerted Roy of Edward's entrance. He had heard the boy coming because he was not very quiet. You couldn't blame him, though. He couldn't hear every -or any- loud thud and clank of his feet. He couldn't hear the obvious heavy favouring of his left foot.
Roy looked up to see Edward there in the door frame. "He isn't here," Edward noted.
"Fullmetal, there is no way you looked everywhere around the house, but to answer your question, your brother went on a walk."
Edward's face showed something similar to embarrassment and confusion. He looked away and started to stumble out of the room. Roy quickly stood and gripped Edward's arm before leading him to the kitchen table, which Edward was far from pleased about. He was glaring daggers at Roy.
"I said not to touch me."
Roy rolled his eyes. "Edward, how are either of us supposed to survive the week living together if you hate everything I do to help?"
"I don't want your help." Edward crossed his arms with a wince and huffed.
"So Alphonse is the only one who you will trust?" Roy questioned the boy. Edward gave Roy a confused look yet again.
"It makes more sense than trusting you. I'll find him myself and you won't help me." Roy wasn't aware that that could possibly sting so bad until he heard the words. It wasn't that they weren't truthful. In a way, they were some of the most obviously truthful words Roy had heard in a while.
Edward turned his head downcast to look at the wood grain and rings that swirled around under his fingers. He had lost his hearing, but at least he had his sight. He wouldn't trade the two out.
The Doctors had done an extensive search of his eyes. They were looking for heat damage, possible scars on the cornea, or damage to the other innermost workings of the eye. No one wanted to deal with a deaf kid with melting eyes so they were definitely relieved to have found nothing that showed any damage from the explosion.
Edward sighed. He had no idea where Alphonse was. He hadn't understood Mustang when he had said it. There were too many words so he had no idea what he was supposed to focus on. If they had all been focused on the exact same thing it would have been a lot easier.
A piece of paper was slipped between Edward's gaze and the table. On it was Mustang's handwriting. I'm making dinner. Any requests? Edward shook his head. Mustang stood beside him and started searching through cabinets and the fridge for ingredients. He piled them on the counter by the stove and pulled out a few pans.
"Fullmetal, why are you eyeing the food so weirdly?" Mustang asked the kid as Edward looked up at him with a funny look.
"I don't know... I just expected something different," Edward answered, stabbing a few mouthfuls worth of roasted potatoes and garlic and bringing it to his mouth.
"Like what?" Roy put down his fork and sighed. He honestly dreaded the answer.
Edward swallowed and thought for a second. "Something more... blackened? Charred? Burned beyond recognition?"
"I'm not that bad at cooking!" Roy was shocked by everyone's disbelief in his culinary skills. He had made a decent meal of sausages and roasted potatoes and carrots in garlic. "Hughes was exaggerating!"
Edward went back to his food, looking very confusing and a little upset. He poked at his sausage before stabbing it with the fork and eating it off of the fork. "Umm, I didn't understand you earlier... When you said where Al went..."
Roy was surprised that Edward had waited so long to tell him that. After thinking about how proud Edward was, it wasn't all that surprising. It was actually more surprising that he had said anything about it. He probably fought every instinct in him to say what he just said.
Roy nodded and slowly repeated what he said earlier about Alphonse going out for a walk.
Edward bowed his head and muttered, "'kay..." He returned to eating his food to drown out the tenseness of the surrounding air.
Roy sighed and ate a few more bites of his dinner. He looked up at the sound of a gasp the clattering of Edward's fork.
Edward was clutching his left ear, his face twisted in pain. The pain on his face eased away slowly.
Roy was reaching over the table when Edward said, "Can I go to bed now?"
Mustang froze. He sighed and nodded as Edward looked up. "Let me take you up. Alphonse already took up your stuff." He was exhausted himself. It hadn't even been very physically challenging. It was more of a mental hassle because it was almost like dealing with another person. Edward was acting so wrong. It gave him the creeping feeling of fear. What if Edward didn't start acting like himself again? What if he was stuck afraid and confused?
Roy wanted desperately for this to go quickly. He wanted to escape the guilt weighing down on his back. That was the plan all along.
Edward looked at him, waiting for Roy to take the lead. He looked tired, but there was something Roy had to do. It couldn't keep being pushed back. "Fullmetal?"
Edward held in a wince, he felt a stabbing pain in his ears. After the grafting in his ears he was surprised to find it painful to chew things. The apple pie from earlier had been fine because it was perfect and fell apart in your mouth. Sweet, gooey apple spread around your mouth and melted. You didn't have to even work that hard to chew.
He just wanted to go up and sleep in a real bed even after sleeping on the couch for awhile. It was just very unnatural to be sleeping here at the Colonel's house. Why was it even necessary? One week in the dorm with Alphonse wasn't going to kill him. He had stayed there on countless medical leaves. It was just that this time Edward was apparently a kid freak that couldn't be handled by just his younger brother.
"Yes," he said, signaling the Colonel to go on. It took a lot of effort not to be just a little bit snippy at him.
Roy's mouth started to move, but Edward stopped trying to figure it out when a single word that was nothing compared to the others unraveled from the Colonel's mouth.
Discharged.
Edward knew immediately that he was going to be discharged from the military. It was obvious. Why hadn't he thought of that? Of course he would be discharged. The military wasn't interested in faulty weapons.
He felt numb. He could only think of one thing now. Al. How would he help Al? All that work for nothing and now he couldn't do anything! He was so useless to Alphonse. He had failed him so horribly on multiple occasions, and he knew it couldn't be fixed this time.