CHAPTER 29 - The trial

"He's dead."

Neji scrambled up from where he was sitting on the cold stone floor of his cell, his heart pounding. From the small opening in the iron door, Ibiki Morino's face stared from the shadows. "Who?" he rasped, feeling a terror unlike any he had ever experienced in his life.

"Who do you think?"

Neji gripped the iron hinge of the door, willing his legs not to give way. He could feel the blood pounding in his ears. "How?"

"How do you think?"

It should have been me. I should be dead, not Shikamaru. "When?" he whispered.

"Last night." Ibiki stared into his eyes contemptuously. "Now you know how it feels." The metal partition slammed shut with a rusty screech.

Neji sat on the floor by the door, unable to move. If only he could trade his life for Shikamaru's, or just hold Shikamaru one more time. Why had he hesitated; why hadn't he thrown the second scorpion away as well? Why hadn't he insisted that Uchiha Itachi let Shikamaru in on the plan? Of course, it might mean Orochimaru would still be alive.

But so would Shikamaru.

I have killed the person I loved.

Would he even be able to go to the funeral – to see Shikamaru one last time?

He didn't know how long he sat on the floor like a hollowed out gourd. Eventually he heard voices. As they drew nearer, he recognized them as Izumo and Kotetsu. Jumping to his feet, he pounded on the door and called to them. They approached, unsmiling, their expressions guarded.

"Excuse me, please – when is the funeral? Can I just go to pay my respects?"

They exchanged a decidedly uneasy look. "Funeral for who?" Kotetsu asked. "Orochimaru?"

Neji almost choked. Shikamaru had been their friend! "Shikamaru!'

Again they exchanged that look. "Shikamaru's not dead," Izumo said, frowning cautiously.

Did they not know, Neji wondered. "Ibiki told me he died last night."

Kotetsu snorted. "Ibiki's just messing with you…he likes to have fun with prisoners."

"Fun?"

Izumo sighed, his expression softening. "What you don't know is Ibiki was in love with Orochimaru's wife, Anko. They were childhood sweethearts. It broke his heart when she ran off with Orochimaru."

Neji remembered Ibiki's words. Now you know how it feels.

Ibiki returned a few hours later, flanked by two other guards who were strangers to Neji. Both of them were large and carried a set of iron cuffs. "All right, come on, punk, we're going to –"

Neji stared at him in fury. "I know Shikamaru is alive."

Ibiki regarded him malevolently. "You know that, do you? You saw him with your own little bleached out eyes?"

"No… Izumo and Kotetsu told me."

"They probably just wanted you to sit down and shut up. You think they like you any better than I do?" Ibiki signaled to the other two guards. They moved swiftly, one pulling Neji's arms back behind him to snap the cuffs on, the other fastening a pair of shackles around his ankles. Neji could have fought back; he had the skills. But he did not have the will. Whatever they dished out, he would take it. It was no more than he deserved.

"Don't think you're going to weasel out of a murder charge by pretending he's alive," Ibiki growled. "Man up and take your punishment."

"I don't care about the punishment! I only care about –"

Ibiki was on him in a flash, grabbing Neji's cuffed arms and twisting them up behind his back. Neji was driven face first into the rough stone wall. He gritted his teeth against the pain.

"You care, huh?" Ibiki snarled. "Punk, you don't know what it is to care about someone. It means wanting them to always be happy, wanting to protect them always …even if they leave you to run off with a monster. Not trying to off them because you get your panties in a twist, and then crying crocodile tears when you get caught."

Ibiki gave Neji's arms a final savage yank, so hard Neji thought the bones might snap. Then he nodded to the guards. They took hold of him, one on either side, and marched him up several flights of stairs. It was not easy negotiating the stairs with the cuffs on, but his shinobi training enabled him to keep his balance. He knew they were hoping he would fall on his face. He didn't care; he only had one objective – to find out the truth. Was Shikamaru alive or dead?

They headed down a corridor, stopping before a large door. Ibiki pushed it open and Neji found himself in the presence of none other than Lord Jiraiya. The room was like nothing Neji had ever seen before. Every available surface was covered with scrolls, books, hangings, artifacts and curiosities, including numerous frog statues. Through the open door to the balcony outside, he could see a pair of huge toads sunning themselves. Jiraiya himself was seated behind a massive desk covered with papers, scrolls, maps and books. Nearby at a smaller desk sat Iruka-sensei, writing something down. He motioned for Neji to have a seat. Ibiki undid the cuffs just long enough to bring Neji's arms around the front and re-cuff them.

Jiraiya was silent for a few minutes, reading over something on his desk. Finally, he looked up, his dark eyes fixing Neji with a piercing stare. "Okay, kid, tell me your story."

"My story -?"

"Not your life story," Jiraiya said impatiently. "Unless it involves plenty of curvy young women," he added with the hint of a leer.

Neji shook his head.

"Yeah, no surprise there. All right. I want the story of your involvement with Akatsuki, and everything you know about them."

"I have no involvement with the Akatsuki. Uchiha Itachi just approached me because he knew me from my home village."

Jiraiya leaned forward, regarding Neji. "You know you have some serious charges against you, kid. Possibly the death penalty. If you want to have a prayer of getting out of this alive, you better tell me everything you know, every detail of what he said and what they were plotting."

"I will – but first, can you tell me – did Nara Shikamaru die?"

"Shikaku's son?" Jiraiya frowned. "I hadn't heard that. But then, I've been pretty busy. You'd have to check with the hospital."

Neji felt a tiny flicker of hope. No one – except Ibiki – had said definitely that Shikamaru was dead.

Iruka cleared his throat. "Your trial is the day after tomorrow. You'll be telling your full story that. For today, we just want to get whatever you know about Akatsuki."

Neji told them everything he could remember about his conversation with Uchiha Itachi. When he got to the part about Uchiha Madara being the head of Akatsuki, Jiraiya nodded in satisfaction.

"Thought so."

"Itachi said that if the sword was returned, Madara wouldn't attack Suna."

Jiraiya snorted. "That's bull. I've got a bingo book on Madara so thick I could use it as a desk. I've long suspected he had a hand in bringing about the war between North and South."

"Why would he – ?"

"Why do you think they wanted to take down Otokagure?"

"Uchiha Itachi's brother –"

"I'm sure that's why the Uchiha kid wanted to do it. But Madara doesn't give a crap about anybody's brother. He's got bigger things in mind."

The realization hit Neji. "Suna."

"You've heard the saying, United we stand, divided we fall? North and South, divided, means it was easier for Akatsuki to infiltrate. Suna is the hub of the South, surrounded by all the smaller desert villages. Without Otogakure, if we fall, they all go down too."

Neji did not know what to say. I'm sorry seemed so inadequate. It was also only half true. He was not sorry that Orochimaru was dead, even if it meant that Otogakure was now gravely weakened. But he desperately regretted what he had done to Shikamaru and the people of Suna.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't think…"

Jiraiya sat back in his chair. "I'm guessing you're not a big picture kind of thinker, huh, kid?"

No, Neji thought. Shikamaru was a big picture kind of thinker. IS a big picture thinker. Shikamaru is not dead.

The guards took Neji back to his cell, and removed the cuffs. As Ibiki locked the heavy door from the outside, Neji stared at him with hatred through the small, barred window.

"I know Shikamaru is alive. Lord Jiraiya said so."

"That's not what he said," Ibiki said, sounding almost bored. "The truth is, he has no idea, and doesn't care. His agenda is stopping the Akatsuki."

"If Shikamaru was dead, I would know it."

"How?" Ibiki said derisively. "From this?" Thrusting his hand through the bars, he rapped his fingertips hard against the Pet Seal on Neji's forehead. Involuntarily, Neji flinched. "This thing is for punishment, right? For disobedient Pets? Well, they don't get much more disobedient than you. So answer me this…if he isn't dead, why didn't he use it?"

Neji stood in the center of the cell, staring at the door after Ibiki had gone. The question hung in his mind. He could think of only three possibilities, all terrible to contemplate.

Shikamaru was still unconscious or too weak to activate the Seal.

Or…Shikamaru had been honest when he said he would not use the Seal no matter what, and he had kept his word, despite what Neji had done to him.

Or…

Shikamaru, are you all right? Are you in pain? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…

Shikamaru, are you alive or dead?

###

Am I alive or dead? Shikamaru thought, staring out the window of his hospital room. Technically he was alive, because he was awake and thinking. But he felt weak and utterly dispirited and had no desire to get out of bed ever.

The physical side was bad enough, of course. The antidote that Tsunade had expertly crafted was effective, but extremely painful and debilitating. He felt as if all his insides had been scraped away and replaced by hot coals. Just walking to the window was a monumental excursion that left him completely drained.

Far worse, however, was the knowledge that the person he thought he loved had done this to him.

Yes, Orochimaru was terrible – but Akatsuki is even worse. Were you so in love with this Uchiha person that you couldn't see that?

Even Tayuya had been more trustworthy than Neji. She had tried to warn him…

He heard the loud cheerful sound of Ino's voice and then she came through the door, her smile changing to a look of concern. Was there pity there as well?

"You look terrible!"

"Thanks."

She had brought flowers, some kind of bluish-purple ones that looked like stars. She filled a glass with water and started arranging them. "Is it true about Neji? I heard he was arrested for treason – he was actually part of the Akatsuki?"

"He wasn't part of them. He just knew what they were going to do and didn't warn anyone."

Ino sat down on the end of his bed. "I guess he hated Otokagure."

"Yes." And Suna, apparently.

And me.

"Are you going to the trial tomorrow?"

The reality of her words hit him like a dark wind. There was going to be a trial. Neji was most likely going to prison.

So much for your freedom, Neji. So much for all our plans.

Aloud, he said, "Yes, of course I am."

"No, of course you are not," a stern voice said from the doorway. Shikamaru looked up into the face of the Kazekage in her white medical coat. Ino scrambled up off the bed and made a deep bow.

"Kazekage-sama…"

"I understand why you would want to go to the trial, Shikamaru, but I'm sorry, I can't permit it. You are not well enough to leave the hospital just yet." Tsunade's expression told Shikamaru there was no point in arguing with her.

"Wow, the Kazekage herself!" Ino whispered after she had gone. "You must really rate!"

"Nah, it's most likely because of Kankuro."

Shikamaru spent the rest of the afternoon deep in thought. Yes, he was still somewhat weak, but he did not intend to miss the trial. Because she was now dating a guard, Ino might be reluctant to help him break the rules. However, Chouji, Naruto, and Kiba, who visited later in the day, had no such compunction.

Shikamaru still had the disguise he had planned to use when they went undercover in Wakaremichi – that of an old peasant man. He had meant to show it to Neji the night before, but never gotten the chance, because Neji had gotten upset about the Pet Mark and stormed out. So Neji had never actually seen it. He knew it might look suspicious if he sat with his parents – who would probably not be happy about him leaving the hospital either – or Chouji's parents. But Kiba's family and their pack of dogs would provide good cover.

His three friends returned the next morning, after Tsunade had made her rounds, to help him put on the disguise.

"My grandma's coming along too," Kiba said with a grin as he painted the distinctive red triangles of the Inuzuka clan onto Shikamaru's cheeks. "You'll be a couple."

"I'm not going to hit on your grandmother, idiot."

They left through the visitors' entrance, walking with a deliberate casualness – which Kiba and Naruto spoiled as soon as they got outside by giving whoops of glee and high-fiving each other. Kiba's mother and grandmother were waiting there with the dogs – Kiba's pup Akamaru and Tsume's own large wolf hybrid, which was missing an ear and sported a patch over one eye. Shikamaru felt a certain kinship; he too was feeling rather battle scarred.

He also found to his chagrin that Tsunade had been right about him still being very weak. Fortunately he was supposed to be an elderly man, so he could pretend that walking slowly and leaning on Chouji's arm were just part of his disguise. It was a little embarrassing, however, that Kiba's actual grandmother kept having to stop and wait for him to catch up to her. He was glad it was just a short walk to the court house. Still, he was exhausted by the time they arrived and glad to collapse onto one of the back benches. He could see his parents sitting up front, with the Yamanakas and Akimichis right behind them.

Ino came hurrying over to them and slid in next to Chouji, giving Shikamaru a little wink. So someone, probably Chouji, had tipped her off to the plan. At least, he hoped that was the case, and that she hadn't recognized him. He was counting on this disguise to render him incognito, not only to the Kazekage, but also to his parents and Neji.

Since their little party had been walking so slowly, Tsunade and five of the other six members of the panel of judges had already been seated by the time they arrived. Tsunade was leaning down to confer with Iruka-sensei, who would presumably be serving as the questioner. The others sat in solemn silence along the raised platform at the front of the court. A little below them was the enclosed witness box, where Neji would give his testimony.

Tsunade raised her head. "You may bring the prisoner in."

The door opened, and Neji was brought in, flanked by guards. Even though Shikamaru had thought he was prepared, he still had a visceral reaction to Neji's appearance. He was wearing the drab prison garb, and his wrists and ankles were shackled. Shikamaru had half expected him to be fierce and defiant, as he had been when he first arrived in Suna, but he was not. He did not shuffle along with his head bowed in shame, either, as Shikamaru had seen other prisoners do. He walked slowly to the witness box, looking straight ahead, and took his seat. His hair was untidy and there was a raw looking scrape on his forehead. But otherwise he appeared the same, so much so that Shikamaru had to look away.

Tsunade motioned to Iruka, who started to speak, but Neji interrupted.

"Excuse me, Kazekage-sama, but before we begin, please, may I ask a question?"

Tsunade did not look pleased, but she said, "I'll allow it."

"Please, is Nara Shikamaru…alive?"

"Whether he is alive or dead will not affect the severity of the charges against you."

"I know. I just – want to know."

Shikamaru was momentarily startled by the question; but then he recalled that the last time he had seen Neji had been right before he collapsed.

"Unless he has died in the past two hours," Tsunade said tartly, "he is alive. I checked on him this morning in the hospital."

Neji appeared to visibly relax. "Thank you, Kazekage-sama."

Tsunade nodded to Iruka. "Please read the charges."

Iruka unfurled a scroll. "Treason against the village of Suna. Collusion with a criminal organization, the Akatsuki. Attempted theft of the Masamune sword."

Shikamaru felt his mouth drop open. He stole my great-grandfather's sword? He hadn't thought he could feel any more angry and betrayed, but he had been wrong.

"And attempted murder, of Sabaku Kankuro and Nara Shikamaru."

There was a shocked buzz in the courtroom, quickly quelled by a glare from Iruka. Tsunade turned to Neji. "How do you plead?

"I plead guilty to all charges, Kazekage-sama."

"You understand that pleading guilty means you may be sentenced to death?"

"Yes."

Shikamaru looked over at the panel of seven. Tsunade and Jiraiya. The slave trader Danzo, a powerful politician. The Sabaku sensei Baki. Yamato-sensei. The elder Chiyo. They would have been the ones to decide Neji's guilt or innocence. Since he had pleaded guilty, their job was now easier; they would only have to decide if his sentence would be death or a lesser punishment.

Jiraiya and the Kazekage he thought might be merciful. They were not known for being harsh leaders. Yamato also almost certainly would not vote for death. Baki hated the North Country and everyone in it, so he would have no problem putting Neji to death. Danzo also was known to be cruel and ruthless. Chiyo he wasn't sure about. He didn't know her well. On the one hand, she was a grandmother. But on the other hand, she had lost her grandson to Akatsuki when he was younger, and she was known to be still quite bitter about that.

The seventh seat was empty. He tried to imagine who it would be. Kakashi, maybe?

The heavy door opened, and Shikamaru watched with everyone else as a slim, familiar figure entered and made her way to the empty seat.

"Representing the Sabaku clan…Sabaku no Temari."

Temari bowed her head in acknowledgment. She looked tired, but otherwise as striking as ever.

Iruka took a stance in front of the witness box, and addressed Neji. "Answer the questions factually, to the best of your knowledge. Do not leave anything out and do not add anything; no opinions, emotions, or supposition. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Please state your name and where you are from."

"Hyuuga Neji, of Konoha Village in the North Country."

"And you are the son of the head of the Hyuuga clan, is that right?"

"No. I am from a lesser branch. My cousin is the Hyuuga heir and I am her bodyguard."

Shikamaru felt a small jolt of surprise that Neji was telling them this.

"And how did you come to be in Suna?"

"I had a falling out with my clan. I left my village and went to a nearby town, where I met Orochimaru. He proposed that I come to his village to join his shinobi force. I went with him. But I found out he was drugging me and intended to make me a slave."

"And you killed his son, Kidoumaru, is that correct?"

"Yes. Kidoumaru –" Neji's lashes fluttered for a second and he looked down. "— attacked me, so I killed him. Then I left Otokagure."

"And what made you come to Suna?"

"I didn't know where I was going. I traveled across the desert for two days, until I saw some buildings."

"And that was the Nara property?"

"Yes…an old stable."

"What happened next?"

"I hid there for a day and a half and then I was found by –" Neji's voice faltered a moment. He cleared his throat. "By Nara Shikamaru. And Morino Ibiki."

"And when they found out that you were wanted in Otogakure for the murder of Orochimaru's son, the Nara family made an offer to purchase you as a Pet?"

"Yes," Neji said quietly.

"And when you became a Pet, you took an oath of loyalty to Suna, is that right?"

"Yes."

"And to Nara Shikamaru as well?"

Neji nodded. Shikamaru can see that his hands were clenched, the knuckles white. Maybe to most onlookers he appeared calm, but Shikamaru could tell how close he was to breaking. He willed his heart to harden. Neji deserved no sympathy from Shikamaru.

"Speak, please."

"Yes, I… Yes."

Yes, as I recall, you swore to put my life above your own, which was clearly bullshit, Shikamaru thought.

Iruka was questioning him about their life together now. Had Neji been faithful to Suna? To the Naras? Had he had any contact with the Akatsuki in that time? Had he known of any plots against Suna or any of its allies?

Shikamaru did not want to think about their life together. He found himself tuning out, unable to listen. It had been a mistake to come here. It had not made him feel better; on the contrary, he felt a thousand times worse.

Now Neji was describing the meeting with Uchiha Itachi. "At the market, I stopped to help an old woman…"

The old woman! Shikamaru remembered the old woman, and the emotion he had felt watching Neji gallantly shoulder her pack. If only he had gone with them! This Uchiha person would have had a much harder time making his case with Shikamaru there – or might not even have shown his face.

This Uchiha person who – Shikamaru was astonished to hear next – was the blood relative of the head of Akatsuki.

And who had somehow managed to convince Neji that the Akatsuki, the most ruthless and bloodthirsty terrorist organization in the land, would desist from attacking Suna if they only returned the Masamune sword. Shikamaru had always thought of Neji as being very smart, but, based on this dubious claim, Neji had decided to betray Suna, poison two people he was supposedly loyal to, and run off with this Akatsuki guy.

Why, Neji, why? Were you in love with him?

"He gave me the vial of poison and told me to put it into the food," Neji was saying, "so that they wouldn't pursue us."

"And you followed these instructions?"

"N-no. The morning of the mission, I opened the vial. But I couldn't bring myself to use it. But then my hand shook and some spilled onto the food. I thought…maybe it was fate…"

Fate? Shikamaru thought in disbelief.

"But then, as we traveled on the mission, I had second thoughts. I decided I would destroy the scorpion or throw it away."

Iruka picked up a folder from a nearby desk and scanned it for a few minutes before proceeding. "Sabaku Kankuro and Nara Shikamaru are both too ill to testify today, but they have given statements. They both say that you threw away one scorpion, but it was not the one you brought from the Nara kitchen – the poisoned one."

Neji closed his eyes and swallowed hard, as if the memory pained him. "Yes."

"Why did you do that? Was it a trick of some sort – a decoy scorpion?"

"No. I just – made a mistake. When I saw it was the wrong one, I was –" Neji seemed to be groping for the words. Shikamaru recalled his frantic eyes; the way he had flung the scorpion against the rocks.

"Why did you not destroy the second one as well?"

Neji hesitated a long moment before replying. "I – I was weak, and foolish, and let my mind become confused. They were angry and suspicious. I thought again – maybe this was meant to be; maybe it was fate."

Shikamaru was glad he had brought no weapons; he might've thrown one at Neji's head in that moment.

If only Neji were not so beautiful! A face was just a face, wasn't it? All faces were basically the same – two eyes, a nose, a mouth. What was it about Neji's face that made it so unforgettable?

###

Neji looked out at the sea of faces in the courtroom. All of them looked the same; forgettable and drab, because none of them were Shikamaru.

"So you just left them, then?" Iruka asked.

"Yes. I left."

Yoshino and Shikaku Nara were sitting in the second row. He forced himself to look into their eyes as he gave his testimony of how he had, in that moment, decided to leave their son to die. He had no secrets anymore, nothing he cared to hide. He did not care about this trial; he did not care what his punishment would be.

"But you came back? What made you come back?"

"I realized that I had made a terrible mistake." Neji closed his eyes a second, recalling that awful moment. "They were dying and I couldn't let that happen. I wasn't far away – I rode back as fast as I could. I put them on horseback – Shikamaru on his horse and Kankuro on mine – and then I just –" Neji realized his voice was shaking. He took a deep breath, willing himself to speak calmly. "I rode as fast as I could back to the Suna Hospital."

"Okay." Iruka consulted his notes once again. "Staff at the hospital have testified that you called for help, that you said clearly that they had been poisoned, and that you had in your possession some of the poisoned scorpion, which you gave to the staff. What was your purpose in holding on to the poisoned scorpion?"

"I thought maybe it would help them identify the poison, and maybe – help them in coming up with an antidote."

Iruka nodded. "And then, you remained at the hospital until you were arrested? You did not leave the premises at any time?"

"No, I stayed there."

"What was your purpose in remaining at the hospital?"

"No purpose. I just –" Neji could barely get the words out. "I couldn't leave him. I couldn't leave Shikamaru."

He looked at the Naras again. Yoshino had an expression of horrified fascination, while Shikaku sat stonefaced.

"Okay," Iruka said, after consulting his notes for several minutes again. "You said you took the sword because you thought it would keep Madara from attacking Suna. But what was your reason for going along with the rest of the plan? Was it to escape to the North? To get revenge on Otogakure? Did you have some personal grudge against Nara Shikamaru and Lord Kankuro?"

Neji was silent a moment. "I did want freedom. I did want revenge on Orochimaru. I did not have a grudge against Shikamaru. But…" He hesitated. "…I found out something that made me wonder if I could trust him."

Iruka frowned. "And that was?"

"The true use of the Pet Mark…he had never told me." Behind Iruka, he saw Yoshino look at her husband questioningly.

"Exactly what the effects are when it is activated?"

"He…never told me it could be activated at all."

Yoshino was looking from one to the other with an expression of angry bafflement. Neji thought with a sudden shock, She didn't know either.

"Excuse me," Yoshino called sharply. Heads all around turned to look at her. "Please explain to me what we are talking about."

Iruka looked at the Kazekage uncertainly. She nodded.

"In addition to identification, the Seal can be used as a disciplinary measure. The Master can activate it to cause severe pain and immobilize a Pet."

From the looks on the faces of many of the onlookers, Neji guessed that they too had not known the truth about the Pet Mark.

"Did you believe Shikamaru would activate the Seal?" Iruka said, looking as if the question pained him. "Is that why you tried to kill him?"

"No. I let myself get sucked into the darkness for a short while. Shikamaru told me he would never use the Seal, and I believe now he was telling me the absolute truth. Shikamaru is – " His voice cracked on the words. "Shikamaru is the best person I have ever known."

There was a silence. Yoshino had her head down, hiding her face. Neji could see Shikamaru's friends in the back, sitting with Kiba's clan and their dogs. Ino was looking anxiously at a pair of old people who looked to be part of their clan. Something about the old man seemed familiar, although Neji could not remember ever meeting him before.

"If there are no other questions," the Kazekage said, "the prisoner may step down, and we will proceed with the jury."

Neji left the witness box and took his seat in the first row of the courtroom, facing the jury. He realized he had no curiosity about what their verdict would be. He did not care if he lived or died.

###

Shikamaru shifted on the hard bench. He could see Neji, sitting still with his head bowed. He could not see Neji's face, but that was just as well, he thought, as it meant Neji could not see him either. He had thought he was beyond caring, but now that the moment had arrived, he realized he did care, very much.

He did not want Neji to die.

"The members of this panel," the Kazekage said, "myself included, will be deciding whether this young man will receive the death penalty, or a more lenient punishment of prison time with hard labor. Lord Jiraiya, we will begin with you."

Jiraiya rose, running a hand through his spiky white hair. He seemed more subdued than usual. "I've spoken to this young man, and to Shikaku Nara, who probably knows him best."

Jiraiya had not spoken with Shikamaru. Iruka had come to the hospital to question him and Shikamaru had told him what he remembered; what he knew. It hadn't been much, and Tsunade had shooed him away after a short time, saying Shikamaru had to rest.

"Look," Jiraiya said, "he's a kid, just come of age. Kids do stupid things. Who among us hasn't done stupid things when we were younger?"

Shikamaru caught a bit of eye-rolling at this. To say that Jiraiya had a colorful past was an understatement.

"However wrongheaded and destructive his actions may have been, I believe that at heart his intentions were good. I believe that he is genuinely remorseful for the damage done and those he hurt. I don't believe there was any intent to harm Suna. And ultimately he did the right thing; he saved the lives of his two teammates. I vote for leniency."

Jiraiya took his seat and Danzo stood up. "Yes, he saved lives," he said contemptuously. "Those lives would not have been in jeopardy if not for him. And many others died because he did not speak up. People condemn the slave trade, but this is what you get if you just take any common criminal off the street and try to make a Pet. He is not worth saving. The death penalty is warranted in this case. "

Next was the Sabaku sensei Baki. "Death," he said succinctly, not even bothering to rise.

Despite his vow to remain cool, Shikamaru felt a cold sweat breaking out all over his body. He wondered what it was like for Neji, hearing that.

Yamato, who was next, waited a moment, as if expecting more, before getting to his feet. "This is an example," he said, sounding uncharacteristically emotional, "of the evil that is Orochimaru. I believe this young man has been forever scarred because of what Orochimaru did. I am sorry that innocent people had to die as well, but I can certainly understand wanting to rid the world of a cancer like Orochimaru."

Shikamaru recalled what his father had told him, of Yamato's painful past. He also breathed a little easier. This sounded more hopeful.

"Yes, Otokagure being attacked was also detrimental to Suna," Yamato said. "But I don't think that was intentional on his part. And as Jiraiya said, he is still a teenager. I can't in good conscience vote to put him to death."

Chiyo, who was next, appeared to have fallen asleep. Yamato leaned over and said something quietly to her, and she opened her eyes and slowly got to her feet. Shikamaru found he was holding his breath. It was now two to two. He was pretty sure Temari would vote against Neji, so Chiyo was Neji's only hope.

"Akatsuki," Chiyo said in her cracked, reedy voice, "is the true evil. By joining with Akatsuki, he has brought down a village that was our ally. No matter what you think of Otokagure, they had never attacked us, and they joined with us against Akatsuki. Now they are fatally weakened, and Suna is more vulnerable. This is treason, and the penalty for treason is death."

Shikamaru felt his heart pounding, too fast. Yes, he had known Chiyo might vote that way, but it was still a shock.

Chiyo lowered herself to the bench like an ancient bird settling on a nest. Temari inclined her head slightly – a bow to her elder – and stood up. She looked tired, with dark circles under her eyes like those of her insomniac younger brother. Shikamaru felt for her, and at the same time dreaded hearing what she would say. This was it, surely the end for Neji.

"I speak for Gaara too in this," Temari said. She spoke slowly, in a clear voice. "We are in complete agreement. The North and its people killed our father. They are bloodthirsty and not at all trustworthy. I do not personally like or trust this Hyuuga. I have never liked or trusted him."

She gave Neji a cold, level look. Shikamaru could not see Neji's face.

"But he saved our brother's life. And the life of Nara Shikamaru." Temari drew a deep breath. "So we will return the favor. Life for life. I vote for leniency."

Shikamaru wanted to run across the courtroom and hug her, even if it meant Kiba got a reputation for having a pervy grandfather. She had probably just saved Neji's life.

The deciding vote would be Lady Tsunade. She was silent for several moments before speaking.

"I know this young man's history," the Kazekage said. "My husband and the Naras have told me he is not a bad person. I believe that at heart, he had good intentions." She paused again. "But the law doesn't look at what is in a person's heart. It looks at their actions. His actions endangered the lives of two Suna shinobi and put the entire village at risk. So, though it grieves me personally, I must vote for death."

"That's three for leniency; four for death," Iruka announced. "The prisoner will receive the death penalty."

A low murmur went up all over the courtroom. Some of the spectators looked shaken, others satisfied. Only Neji did not react.

No one was openly grieving, Shikamaru noticed, except perhaps his mother, who had her head down and a hand shielding her eyes. But was she mourning Neji's impending death, or the dishonor of the Nara clan?

Shikamaru felt a sudden wave of dizziness, like he might pass out at any moment. He clutched the back of the bench in front of him for support.

"Grandfather, are you all right?" Inuzuka Tsume's strong hand gripped his shoulder. Then he felt himself lifted and placed on the back of her huge dog. They made their way out of the courtroom and down the steps. From his undignified position on dogback, Shikamaru could see Ino and Chouji coming out after them. A little way from the square was a public fountain, and they stopped here.

"Take a drink, and splash some water on your face," Tsume instructed him, as the dogs lapped happily at the water.

"I'm all right," Shikamaru said, a little embarrassed to have nearly fainted. Looking around at his friends, he saw them looking as stunned as he felt.

"Wow…death," Kiba said, "I've never seen anyone our age get the death penalty."

"Especially not…a friend," Chouji added.

"Well, that's the law," Tsume said brusquely. "Not much of a friend, really, was he?"

They were all a little afraid of Kiba's formidable mother, so no one spoke up. Or maybe they agreed with her. Mostly, though, he thought they were all just shocked by the verdict.

###

All around him, the courtroom was buzzing with the low voices of people shocked by the verdict, but Neji was not one of them. He had known, from observing their expressions and body language, what verdict each judge would give even before they said the words. He had seen that the Kazekage and Temari both did not want to give the verdict they did, but had felt compelled to do what was right.

"The trial is concluded," Iruka announced. He signaled to the guards. "You may take the prisoner back to the cells."

"Excuse me, Kazekage-sama," Neji spoke up. "Before I… receive my punishment, may I say something?"

"Go ahead."

"I would like to apologize to the Nara clan for what I have done to them. They gave up so much for me, and did me the great honor of allowing me into their home, and I have repaid them in the most terrible way possible. I will go to my grave regretting that."

There was no visible reaction from Shikaku. Yoshino had her head down, hiding her face.

"And...may I ask one favor?"

"You may ask," Tsunade said, in a tone that added, But the answer will probably be no.

"May I see Shikamaru one more time?"

"As he is a minor, that would be up to his parents to decide," Tsunade said.

The two Naras looked intently at each other for a long moment, carrying on a silent conversation with their eyes. Finally Shikaku spoke. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

Neji knew it was no more than he deserved, but it still felt like a slap in the face. "Then… may I write him a letter?"

Again there was a moment of wordless communication. Then Yoshino gave a tiny nod.

"It will have to be examined by this court and by the parents," Tsunade said.

Neji nodded. He had expected as much, and there would be nothing in there that they could not see. He did not intend to burden Shikamaru with a love confession. He only wanted to express, in some small way, the enormous sorrow and remorse he felt.

One of the guards pulled Neji to his feet. He had expected to be taken back to the cells, but instead, they brought him to a small room off the main courtroom.

"We'll wait until some of the crowd clears out," the guard said. "Some of them want to tear you to pieces." His tone suggested he wouldn't mind seeing that.

Neji waited quietly, half-listening to the footfalls and muted conversations from the other side of the door. Suddenly, a familiar voice made him lift his head sharply. It was Shikaku and Yoshino, talking outside the door. Yoshino sounded like she was crying a little.

"I knew nothing good would ever come from taking a Pet."

"But if we hadn't," Shikaku said, "he would have been taken by Otokagure."

"As it is now, he's going to be put to death for treason. And Shikamaru almost died! How is that worth it?"

It is worth it, Neji thought, because I have known Shikamaru.

###

"You snuck out?" Sakura exclaimed. "I hope it was worth it." She had caught them returning Shikamaru to his hospital room. Shikamaru did not bother to reply. As it was, he barely had the strength to wash the makeup off his face before collapsing on the bed.

He stared out the window, thinking of the trial, and of the last time he had spoken to Neji, here in the hospital.

Neji had cried. In the time he'd known Neji, he'd never seen him cry. Not when he talked about what Kidoumaru had done, or his father's death, or even not having a country to go back to. Why had he broken down then? Because he wanted Shikamaru to believe he was remorseful for what he'd done? Because he actually was remorseful?

Or because he knew that his chance for freedom was gone forever, and he would die here in Suna?

He remembered Jiraiya saying about Orochimaru, We were best buds for years and still I couldn't see what was in his heart – those seeds of discontent that made him turn on everyone and become what he is today.

A light knock at the door brought him out of his reverie. He looked up to see Temari standing in the doorway. He was surprised to see her; as well as a little embarrassed. He was in his hospital gown, while she was still in the professional garb she had worn to the trial.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," Shikamaru lied.

"I came to tell my brother the verdict, and you too. He got the death penalty."

Shikamaru nodded. "I heard. Thank you for trying to spare his life," he added hoarsely.

"I did what I thought was right. But I'm actually somewhat relieved." She looked at him curiously. "Did you not want him to die?"

Shikamaru was silent.

"I know you can't trust a White-Eyes, but still, I didn't expect him to do that to you," Temari said. "From the way he acted around you, I always thought he was in love with you."

Shikamaru rubbed his chest, feeling a sudden pain. No, you have it backwards. I was the idiot who fell in love.

"Maybe it's just as well," Temari said. "He was a dead man either way."

"What do you mean?"

"At the trial, I said I spoke for Gaara. But I didn't speak for Kankuro. He suffered a lot with the poison – well, you must know. He's not willing to forgive, even if the White-Eyes did save his life. Plus, he didn't bring back Kankuro's horse. Kankuro valued that horse highly."

Shikamaru thought automatically, I'll have to teach Neji how to manage a riderless horse, before he remembered that of course he would not be teaching Neji anything ever again. Aloud he said, "Yeah…Morino Ibiki would be after him as well, not to mention the survivors from Otokagure. Do you know…any of the particulars? Like…when and how?"

"Three days from now. As for how, beheading most likely. Do you want to be the one to do it?"

Shikamaru shook his head wordlessly, unable to speak.

"He asked if he could see you."

"He did?"

"Yes…your parents refused."

Shikamaru felt once again the extreme frustration of being a minor. Not that he was even sure he wanted to see Neji. But he would have liked to be the one to decide.

"Well, you look almost as bad as my brother," Temari said. "I should let you rest."

Shikamaru wanted to say, No, I'm fine, but he found he was actually exhausted. As soon as she was out the door, he felt his eyes closing.

When he awoke, it was afternoon. He gazed out the window, at the village bathed in sunlight. How can the sky be so brilliant when everything is ending?

From outside in the hall, he could hear voices, his father's among them. "Yoshino's pretty broken up about this whole business," Shikaku was saying. "She's saying taking a Pet cursed our house."

"Shikamaru meant well." That was Chouza. "He's got a good heart, that boy."

"Just be glad he's not like my daughter," Inoichi put in, "mooning over some boy with Northern blood."

Shikaku poked his head into the room. "Hey, you're awake. Good news –"

Good news? Shikamaru thought.

"—Lady Tsunade says you can go home, if you take it easy for a few days. Which shouldn't be a problem for you."

They were all smiling, trying to joke and act like nothing was wrong, but Shikamaru could tell they too were staggered by the day's events.

"You heard the verdict?" Shikaku asked.

"Yeah."

"He asked if he could write you a letter. Iruka will have it. It's up to you if you want to read it."

Shikamaru wasn't sure if anything Neji could write would make him feel better about the situation. First though, there was the trip home and his mother fussing over him with homemade soup and the comfort of his own bed. Someone – his mother, no doubt – had changed the sheets, so that the bed no longer smelled like Neji.

Someone had also packed away Neji's clothes and the futon he had slept on in the little room. Seeing that made Shikamaru feel empty inside.

He's really not coming back.

Thinking again of the letter Neji had written him, he found he did want to read it, very much. Even if it was painful, even if it was difficult, he had to know.

His mother insisted that he stay in bed and take it easy for the rest of the day, so it was not until early the next morning that he was able to make his way to the Kazekage's office. He could have asked his parents to pick the letter up, he knew, but he wanted to do it himself.

Iruka was busy when he arrived, so he waited in the hallway outside, watching the guards and other workers come and go.

"Hey, it's the White-Eye spy!" he heard one of the guards say. Startled, he looked up. A few of them were gathered by the large window that overlooked the courtyard outside the jails.

"Heh heh," someone said, "looks like it's bath time."

Part of Shikamaru wanted to turn away. But part of him had to look. Slowly, he walked to the glass and peered down into the courtyard.

Ibiki was bringing Neji out, marching him along by one arm. Neji's hands were bound behind his back. He was barefoot, clad in only his underwear. There were bruises and scrapes on his face and arms.

Ibiki let go of Neji's arm and walked over to the large water barrel, picking up the hose that was attached. A small ring of curious onlookers was forming, some holding steaming mugs of morning coffee or tea. Ibiki readied the hose, and Shikamaru gave a reflexive shiver. The water would be very cold this time of the morning.

Neji's body tensed as the chilly water hit him full-on, but otherwise he did not react. He stood quietly, his head bowed, as Ibiki slowly hosed him up and down. Some of the onlookers jeered and catcalled, while others simply watched and sipped their coffee. Shikamaru could only imagine what it was like for Neji, who was so modest he wouldn't bathe outside during the rains, or even remove his shirt in the tent when they were storming.

Shikamaru turned away, feeling sick. Yes, Neji deserved to be punished for what he had done. And if someone had told him Neji would be punished like this he might have thought it fitting. But seeing it with his own eyes was something different. A part of him wanted to run down to the courtyard and take Neji in his arms.

And a part of him still wanted to throw Neji against a wall and scream, Why? Why would you do this? Why couldn't you trust me enough to tell me about Uchiha Itachi and his plans and all his lies?

Was he more important to you than me?

"Shikamaru." Iruka had appeared at the doorway of his office. Shikamaru turned from the window and followed him into the office.

"I understand you have a letter for me from Nej—from the prisoner."

"Yes." Iruka lifted the letter and held it out to Shikamaru. His eyes were full of concern, as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. Shikamaru was glad of it; there was nothing to be said, really.

He walked slowly back home, but he did not go inside. Instead, he found his favorite secluded spot on the rocks outside, where he often came to watch the clouds and think. He held the letter in his hands for several minutes, readying himself. Then he unfolded it and read.

Shikamaru,

I don't expect you to forgive me. I have no right even to ask you to read these miserable words. I only wanted you to know a couple of things.

You did know me, better than anyone ever has in my life. And I think I know you. You are not like Orochimaru in any way. You are the opposite of everything he was. I let my emotions take over, something a shinobi should never do, and I let myself be drawn into the darkness. It was my weakness, my fault, not yours.

I told you once that I was cursed. I now see that I am the curse. I tried to kill my own cousin, who was like a sister to me. And I almost killed you, the finest person I have ever known.

I would give anything to go back in time and undo my actions. But that is not possible. Nor can I ever repay the enormous debt I owe you and your family.

I can only promise this, that after I am gone, wherever I may end up, in whatever form, I will do my best to protect, guard and serve you. Until the end of time, my spirit will remain here to look after you and your clan, and all your descendants.

Hyuuga Neji

Shikamaru folded the letter and sat with it on his lap. He sat for a long time, staring into space, a million thoughts and emotions churning through his mind.

He thought of the way Neji had looked that day in the market, before he was sucked into Uchiha Itachi's dark web, and the way he looked just before he left for good. The desperation in Neji's eyes when he tried to throw the scorpion away.

Neji saying in that flat, resigned way, Perhaps it was fate. And the emotion in his voice when he said, I couldn't leave Shikamaru.

He opened the letter and reread Neji's vow. He remembered Haku on O-Bon, telling them about his similar vow. And someone else saying, That's a good and faithful Pet.

And he didn't know what was more ironic – that Neji, who had been willing to die, or kill, for his freedom, would now be a slave for eternity.

Or that the Naras, who had stood against slavery since the beginning of time, would now have one until the end of time.

###

A.N.: Thanks for reading, everyone! No, this isn't the end. I will try to be faster with the next update. In the meantime, please leave a review (even if you curse me heheheh)!