Chance
Part 3 Final piece of the puzzle

Leonardo stood in a shadowed recess of the dojo, unobtrusively watching as Raphael sparred against imaginary foes.

There was incredible strength in each of his movements; raw power etched into every line of muscle. Leonardo's eyes traced his brother's body with ill-disguised appreciation. It was only in hidden moments like these that he could let the air of detachment fall away and allow his desire to become evident.

A bit more than a week had passed since Leonardo had first made love to Donatello. It was just as glorious and satisfying as his experiences with Michelangelo had been. During that period, Leonardo had split his time between his two brothers, introducing Donatello to the building on Jefferson and the chaise longue in the abandoned psychiatrist's office.

Last night, Leonardo had brought the two of them together in that office. It was a step that needed to be taken if he wanted to achieve the openness he foresaw as the best way to keep his family solid.

Right away he noticed the guarded look appear once more on Donatello's face. Even though Leonardo had assured him that Michelangelo both loved and wanted to be with him, the genius was feeling anxious.

Leonardo knew this reaction was an after-effect of the treatment Donatello had received at April's hands. The young woman had herself been a mass of confusion and couldn't expect to know what she wanted when she didn't even know who she was, so Leonardo had never been angry at her over her treatment of his brother.

He had been disappointed though, because he expected April to be more honest about her doubts and questions. Rather than simply talking it out with Donatello, she had spent years giving him mixed signals, being receptive one minute and haughty the next.

When she'd chosen to leave for college, Leonardo had been secretly glad. He hadn't actually realized then that he wanted his brother for himself, all he was really conscious of was that with her gone, Donatello's moods might stabilize.

As soon as the three of them were together in the office, Michelangelo caught hold of Donatello's hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "Don't worry, Dee, everything's gonna be great."

"I'm not worried. Why would I be worried?" Despite that assurance, Donatello clung to his brother's hand, staring at him as though afraid he'd disappear.

"We're together now, nothing's gonna pull us apart," Mikey said, rising up on his toes in order to place a quick kiss on Donatello's cheek. "That's a down payment. There's more where that came from."

He waggled his eye ridges at Donatello, who couldn't help but smile and visibly relax. Leonardo had remained silent, observing them to see if he needed to step in should they require help in connecting. Once it was clear that Michelangelo had things under control, Leonardo cleared his throat to garner their attention.

"Before we move on to more pleasurable activities, I think it's time we talk about Raph," Leonardo said.

Donatello nodded. "I agree. I don't see how we can continue with this if Raph doesn't want to be a part of it."

"We could, but that would only drive him farther away," Leonardo said. "None of us wants that. For my part, I don't want to include him just because he shouldn't be left out. I want him."

It was a blatant statement of fact and his brothers clearly accepted it as such.

"Me too," Donatello said, blushing slightly. "But I don't know if he'll see me that way. He made fun of me all the time about my crush on April."

"That's only 'cause he knew she didn't appreciate you," Michelangelo said, patting Donatello's shoulder.

He was still holding Donatello's hand, so the comforting pat moved Michelangelo practically up against his brother's side. Leonardo hid a smile; his youngest brother could be very manipulative.

"The only one of us he does seem to want to spend time with is you, Donnie" Leonardo said. "He's been very withdrawn, barely speaks unless spoken to, and irritable. More so than usual."

"He talks to Chompy," Michelangelo said, winding his arm around Donatello's and hugging it to his body.

"I've noticed his standoffishness," Donatello admitted. "I ask him to help me with stuff because I feel like Raph just wants to be useful. If he's not fighting some enemy, I'm not sure he knows where he fits."

"You like the closeness you feel with him when he's assisting you with a project, don't you, Don?" Leonardo asked.

Once more Donatello blushed. "He's really strong."

Michelangelo grinned. "I've always thought you let him pin you down in practice on purpose."

"I do not," Donatello protested, though the blush climbed even higher. "You're the one who's always trying to aggravate him. Maybe you like having him throw you to the ground and sit on you."

"Sure I do," Michelangelo admitted with a shrug. "Not gonna lie."

"Well, it's clear that something has to be done to reach him," Leonardo said. "Give me your insights. Don, you say he needs to feel useful. What else?"

"He's protective," Michelangelo offered.

"He's competitive," Donatello said.

These were things that Leonardo already knew, but he wanted to find out how much his brothers knew about each other.

"Those are personality traits," Leonardo said. "What reaches into him? What sparks that tenderness we see when he's caring for Chompy? What opens him up to showing his feelings?"

"Being needed," Michelangelo answered immediately. "Chompy needs him for, you know, everything."

"Being valuable," Leonardo mused slowly.

Donatello nodded. "Exactly. Having others be dependent on him."

"He's really emotional," Michelangelo said. "Remember, he's got a temper, Leo."

Leonardo couldn't help but smile. "Oh, trust me, I know."

There was a very earnest look on Michelangelo's face as he stared at his oldest brother. "That's not what I mean, not 'xactly. Hmm. Hold on, there's a word." He looked up into Donatello's face, as if searching it for what he was trying to articulate. "Got it! Valuable. No, no, Leo just said that. Starts with a V though."

"Vulnerable?" Donatello supplied.

Michelangelo's expression brightened. "Yes, yes! That's the one. He acts all huffy and bad tempered 'cause secretly he's really emotionally vulnerable."

There was a satisfied tone to Michelangelo's voice, as though he'd just scored the winning goal in some game. As Leonardo thought about what he'd said, he began to believe that Michelangelo had hit upon something important.

"Mikey, I don't know what we'd do without you," Leonardo said, cupping his little brother's chin and giving him a quick kiss. "You have given me something concrete to explore and also quite possibly the key to reaching Raph."

There was a sparkle in Michelangelo's blue eyes. "Just a reminder, I like being rewarded for my good deeds."

Leonardo stroked Donatello's cheek with the backs of his fingers and then lightly kissed him as well. "The two of you can reward each other. You deserve it for helping me work through the dilemma of how to approach Raph."

"That was in our own self-interest too, Leo," Donatello said.

"We don't mind having some me time together, do we Dee?" Mikey asked as he nuzzled Donatello's arm.

"That isn't how me time . . . never mind," Donatello said, his gaze softening as he looked at his brother.

"Have fun, you two," Leonardo said moving towards the window. "I want to be at the lair when Raph gets back from running around with Casey. He'd expect it."

He didn't receive a response to that and paused on the window sill to glance back. Donatello and Michelangelo were already wrapped in each other's arms and sharing a deep kiss.

Smiling his satisfaction, Leonardo left them.

When Raphael had arrived home, he'd shot a testy glance in Leonardo's direction, but kept going until he'd reached his room. The fact that he'd slammed the door behind him was a good indication that he knew Leonardo was waiting up for him and resented it.

Now while Leonardo watched as his brother worked out, he couldn't help the misgivings that churned in his gut. The confidence he'd felt during his first encounters with Donatello and Michelangelo seemed a far-off thing. Raphael had already closed so much of himself off that it was going to be a challenge to reach him.

Being the leader, being Jonin, meant that he was expected to embrace those types of challenges. His father had trusted him, and Leonardo would honor his memory by doing everything in his power to keep his brothers close.

Donatello and Michelangelo were waiting as well. He'd seen the questioning looks on their faces as he passed them on his way to the dojo. His single nod conveyed the message that he was about to make his move. That was all the assurance the pair needed to turn their attention back to something they were doing on Donatello's laptop.

"You just gonna stand there staring at me all night?"

Raphael's question startled Leonardo out of his musings. He should have known his brother would sense his presence; it was something that they were trained to do.

"I was admiring your technique," Leonardo said, stepping into the open. "I didn't want to interrupt."

Raphael snorted. "If you're gonna start picking it apart, just know I'm not in the mood."

"Far from it." Leonardo walked out onto the rugs. "Your Kyan No Sai was perfect."

"Yeah?" Raphael looked surprised, his defensive posture easing a bit. "Want to put it to a test?"

Leonardo smiled and drew his swords. They bowed to one another and then each took a stance. The atmosphere shifted from relaxed to watchful, each combatant surveying the other as they looked for weaknesses.

It was Raphael who charged first and Leonardo easily deflected the blow, surprised that his brother had chosen such a simple attack. A second later he knew why; with his attention drawn to Raphael's hands, expecting something more complex, his brother was positioning his feet so that he could pivot and pull Leonardo off balance.

Unable to counter offensively, Leonardo took to defense, rolling onto a shoulder and then flipping far enough away to have time to get his guard up.

"Nice," Leonardo said.

"Been working on that one," Raphael replied with a grin. "There's more where that came from."

The pair continued their bout, neither gaining the upper hand. It went on for three-quarters of an hour before Leonardo realized that his plan for the evening wouldn't come to fruition if he didn't get his brother out of the dojo.

When they next clashed, their weapons pressed against each other as both struggled for dominance, Leonardo said, "I think we're going to have to call this a draw."

"Hah!" Raphael laughed, pushing his brother back. "Since when do we fight to a draw?"

Leonardo turned to keep Raphael in front of him as his brother began to circle. "Before I came in here I was actually thinking about going out for some air. How about a race to determine the winner?"

Raphael stopped moving, but kept his sais up. "You want to race? Where to?"

"The empty office building over on Jefferson," Leonardo said. "I've been trying to keep an eye on it to prevent the drug dealers in the area from moving in."

His brother seemed to think about that for a moment, the idea of possibly finding someone to beat up winning his internal discussion. He flipped his sais and tucked them into his belt. "Is that where you've been taking Mikey and Don lately?"

"I have to get them out of the lair somehow," Leonardo said. He sheathed his swords. "They're both occupied at the moment but I could . . . ." He trailed off, leaving their inclusion up to his brother.

"Leave them," Raphael said. "If you want a race, I'll give you a race. I don't need to be tripping over them."

As they passed through the lair on their way out, Leonardo could hear his younger brothers' voices coming from the direction of the kitchen. Leonardo had no doubt that they'd gone in there to make certain they weren't seen when he inevitably coaxed Raphael into going topside.

Once the pair were clear of the turnstiles, they started running.

Races weren't an uncommon thing between the turtles, but Leonardo found this one to be more exhilarating than most. For one thing, there was more at stake.

Leonardo had not been surprised that he and Raphael had battled to a draw. Raphael was a warrior; he enjoyed a good fight, almost seemed to need one from time to time. In the past, Raphael had beaten him more often than the other way around. It was only through near constant training, both physically and mentally, that Leonardo was able to match his sibling.

A testament to Raphael's own growth was in the fact that he'd accepted that their bout had ended in a tie. As much as he liked to win, he responded favorably to someone who could match or best him in a fight, provided that the other party was not an enemy.

Mona Lisa's fighting prowess was what had first drawn Raphael to her. He respected that, both for her abilities and her determination.

Leonardo was equally determined. If he achieved nothing more than introducing the concept of mating with his own kind to Raphael, he would consider it a win. As long as it didn't chase Raphael away.

Together the two turtles ran the rooftops, first one leading, then the other. They threw taunts at one another as they practically flew from building to building. It was easy to see that Raphael was enjoying himself because the smile on his face was wide and bright.

That sort of smile was rare to see these days. Since their father's death, Raphael had been trapped in a sort of gloom that wrapped around him almost possessively. It was the thing that was closing him off from his family, the thing that needed to be stripped away.

Defeating Shredder had provided the vengeance the turtles had thirsted for, but it didn't fill the hollow pit left in their hearts at the loss of Master Splinter. It would never totally heal, but it didn't need to be the gaping wound that it had become for Raphael.

For Leonardo, changing the relationship he had with his other two brothers had gone a long way towards restoring his emotional balance. He knew it had done the same for them and hoped that it would also be the treatment that Raphael needed.

As Michelangelo had so aptly pointed out, Raphael was the most emotionally vulnerable of the four of them. When his feelings overwhelmed him, he tended to lash out in frustration. Leonardo's goal was to prove to him that he didn't have to keep those frustrations bottled up to the point that they caused an explosion. He had family who cared and would listen.

Leonardo suddenly realized that while he was wool-gathering, Raphael had taken the lead. Shaking his head to bring himself back to the present, Leonardo put on a burst of speed. Raphael had already touched down on the building opposite their destination and was several yards ahead of his brother.

Tearing across the rooftop, Leonardo slowly closed the gap between them. His brother began running faster as well, determined to win.

Within seconds they were side-by-side. Raphael's head lowered as he charged for the roof's ledge, his legs a blur. Leonardo willed his own to accelerate and then both brothers pushed off of the ledge at the exact same moment.

Air swept past Leonardo's face as he soared into empty space surrounded by the purest sense of elation. The sheer joy of life filled that moment; his brother next to him as they pushed their bodies to their utmost limits.

Leonardo's foot touched down a fraction of a second before Raphael's. The momentum carried him half-way across the rooftop before he slowed to a stop. Raphael was right beside him, green eyes glinting with merriment.

"I won," Leonardo stated simply.

"That's only 'cause you have longer legs," Raphael said, still smiling.

"By about half an inch," Leonardo told him.

"That's about what you won by," Raphael said. "Running was always more your thing anyway. I'm a stand and fight kind of guy."

The smile fueled by adrenaline had already started to fade from Raphael's face and Leonardo recognized that statement as the bait it probably was. He wasn't going to be pulled into an argument that was designed to give Raphael an excuse to stomp off on his own.

"Want to check the building to see if anyone is trying to move in?" Leonardo asked, phrasing it as a question so that his brother wouldn't perceive it as an order.

Raphael shrugged. "Sure, why not? We're already here. Maybe I can find somebody to hit."

On a previous visit, Leonardo had ensured that the roof access door was unlocked and he took Raphael into the building through there rather than a window. Together they took the stairs down to the ground floor and looked around for signs that anyone had broken in. Finding nothing, they worked their way up just as Leonardo had done with Michelangelo their first night in the building.

As before, Leonardo maneuvered the search so that their final destination was the psychiatrist's office. He hadn't thought about it before, but that choice of location was actually appropriate for the mental healing that Leonardo was attempting to accomplish.

He was just working out what to say to his brother when Raphael interrupted his thoughts. "So, you got me here. Kind of a round about way of doing it, but I thought I'd let you run with it to see what would happen." Raphael walked over to the chaise and lifted his head to sniff the air before looking pointedly at his brother. "You guys think I'm dumb, don't you?"

"No, we do not," Leonardo said emphatically.

"Then blind," Raphael said. "You think I haven't noticed the way things have changed? Hell, Donnie's swooning again like he did when April was around and Mikey's all starry-eyed. And you . . . ."

He trailed off, jaw working. "What about me?" Leonardo prompted.

Raphael jabbed a finger in his direction. "You've been acting like cock of the walk."

"Am I really that unbearable?" Leonardo asked, walking over to stand opposite his brother.

"You're getting a big head, bigger than it already was," Raphael snapped. "Now this . . . ." He waved at the lounge. "Whatever this is has made it even worse. Maybe those two are okay with you running every little thing in their lives, but I resent the hell out of seeing you waiting up for me to come home like you're my . . . ."

His mouth snapped shut. Leonardo could see how worked up his brother was becoming but rather than stop him, he decided it would be better if Raphael had a chance to say exactly what was on his mind.

"I'm not Master Splinter," Leonardo said gently. "I don't want to be him. What I want, what we want, is for all of us to be close again."

Raphael gaped at him. "Have you guys been talking about me behind my back?"

"Yes." Leonardo knew that Raphael needed the truth, flat and unadulterated. "We are trying to find ways to help each other."

"By having sex?" Raphael demanded. Abruptly he exploded. "Our whole world is falling apart! Master Splinter is gone! April split, Mona split, Casey's talking about traveling, and here we are, stuck underground like the outcasts we are! Who even cares? Who the hell will ever care?"

Leonardo darted forward and wrapped his arms tightly around his brother. He held on as Raphael struggled against him. "Shh, it's okay, Raph. I care. We care. Shh."

He continued to murmur against Raphael's head even as his brother pushed at him in an effort to escape his hold. After a few minutes of stumbling around with Leonardo holding him in a vise like grip, Raphael finally stopped moving and broke down, sobbing quietly into Leonardo's shoulder.

"We're not having sex," Leonardo said, "we're making love. We are learning that we can be everything to each other and that it's okay. What I feel when I'm with Don and Mikey is more perfect than anything I ever felt with Karai. It's the same for them. We feel complete, like it is something that was always meant to happen."

After a minute, Raphael slowly lifted his head. The tears had soaked his mask and though his eyes were now dry, there was shame in them. "Now I'm acting like a damn girl. How is that good for anybody?"

"You don't have to keep your guard up with us, Raph," Leonardo told him earnestly. "That's the point. If we can't tell each other how we feel, if we can't be completely honest with the brothers we've grown up with, then who can we open up to?"

Holding Raphael's gaze, Leonardo moved forward to press a soft kiss to his brother's lips and pulled back to wait for a reaction. Raphael's eyes blew wide as he stared up in shock.

Leonardo braced himself. Rather than shoving him away though, Raphael suddenly wrapped an arm around him, gripped the back of his head, and returned the kiss.

The passion in that kiss had Leonardo's head swimming. All of the volatile emotions that Raphael fought to control were poured into the kiss, his tongue demanding as it ground against Leonardo's. For his part, Leonardo melted into his brother's body, pressing as much of himself against Raphael as he could possibly manage.

When their lips separated, both were breathing heavily. "Damn." Raphael cleared his throat. "Damn."

"I love you," Leonardo whispered. "I need you. We need you. We depend on you. Our world isn't falling apart as long as we all have each other."

Raphael's eyes slid from his to the chaise and then back. "Okay then." His tongue flicked out to touch his bottom lip and then drew back. "Okay. Let's see what all the fuss is about."

"Yes?" Leonardo asked. "You're sure?"

A corner of Raphael's mouth lifted. "Hey, I'm a turtle of action."

Leonardo stepped out of his arms and lowered himself onto the chaise. "Less talk then," he replied, a challenge in his voice.

Setting a knee on the chaise next to his brother, Raphael loomed over him. "Show me what you got."

Catching hold of Raphael's carapace, Leonardo flipped him over onto the lounge and their legs immediately wound together, their mouths once more connecting.

xxxxx

Two weeks later the four brothers were as one. They had all spent time with each of their three brothers before one night coming together as a foursome. It was the most rewarding evening of their lives, leaving all of them sated and deliriously happy.

At Michelangelo's urging, the turtles had devised a way to retrieve the chaise lounge from the psychiatrist's office. Working together, they got it out of the building, using a winch just as the youngest turtle had suggested.

It was given a spot in the living room so that on movie nights, the brothers could cuddle together on the couch and chaise. The fact that they rarely watched an entire movie anymore was a testament to how much they enjoyed being with each other.

None of them felt the need to isolate themselves or to suffer negative emotions alone. The support they offered to each other was complete, and because of it, so were they.

As Leonardo competed in a boisterous game of foosball with his brothers, he swore he could feel his father's presence. Master Splinter's spirit reflected the same joy that Leonardo himself was feeling and it was all because he had listened to his instincts and taken a chance.

This was a lesson Leonardo had been taught long ago. It was what had made him hold up his hand when their father had asked one of them to lead the others. There had been times when he'd wondered if that had been the right decision.

Looking around at the happy faces of his brothers, Leonardo knew that it had been.

The End