CHAPTER 31: The Bird in Flight
A.N.: I truly apologize for such a long wait in posting this. I did not and will not abandon the story; my life has just been quite crazy and busy. If I was J.K. Rowling and got millions to just write all day…but alas, that's not the case. But I think things have eased up somewhat and the next chapters should be quicker.
Also I know some readers were wondering after the last couple of chapters if it was the end of the story, so I apologize for any confusion there. I promise that I will finish the story, and I will tell you clearly when it is finished.
###
Ordinarily, a mission where Shikamaru just had to lay around and feign sleep for several hours would have been right up his alley. But now, the tension and dread were making him wish he were out there, travelling with Naruto and Chouji, or doing something, anything really.
His fear wasn't for himself so much as for Neji. If by chance he was discovered in this cell, he just had to act dazed and tell his story. But he didn't think there was much risk of that. Ibiki was not on duty again until tomorrow morning, and he doubted the younger night guards would try to enter the cell or interact with such a dangerous prisoner as Neji was supposed to be.
But Neji – what had happened to him? Had he gotten out of the village safely? He could tell from the waning light that the sun would be going down soon. If Neji had made it out…if he managed to cover a few miles before dark…there was a chance the plan might succeed. Shadow had excellent night vision and knew the terrain, and Neji's eyes were pretty good as well.
He felt suddenly claustrophobic, shut up here in this tiny dark cell, while above him in the sunlight the rest of the world came and went heedlessly. How must Neji have felt, knowing this was the last thing he would see here on earth? A picture flashed into his mind, of Neji the way he had looked when Shikamaru opened the cell door. Neji had been leaning against the wall, gripping the bars above his head as if hopelessly wishing for freedom.
He had done the right thing, Shikamaru thought. No matter what happened to him, if his plan succeeded, it was all worth it.
But had it succeeded? Was Neji safely out of the village?
Voices drifted in from the small window above him.
"You looking for Kamizuki?" He couldn't be sure, but it sounded like Kotetsu.
"Yep, waiting for Izumo."
Was that Ino's voice? Shikamaru was instantly alert. She sounded close; right outside his window. Because the window was so high, he couldn't see out without standing up, but he cautiously edged the sleeping mat closer to the window so he could hear better, keeping his back turned to the cell door.
"He's a lucky guy."
"Haha, I keep telling him that! Stick of gum?"
"Sure, thanks…"
Shikamaru strained to hear. If Neji had been captured, surely they would be talking about it. But they just seemed to be joking about inconsequential matters.
"Well, I gotta turn in these papers. I'll tell him you're out here."
"Thanks!"
Through the narrow barred window, Shikamaru could see Ino's sandals, and a bit of the fishnet leggings she liked to wear. She was tapping her foot, pacing a bit as she waited for Izumo. He wished he could call to her, but that would jeopardize both of them.
Something fluttered to the ground next to Ino's sandaled foot. A moment passed, then she gave it a flick with her toe, right through the bars, before walking away. Shikamaru felt it hit his cheek and bounce away. Slowly, as if shifting in his sleep, he inched his hand over until he could grasp it, then slid his arm back under the blanket to examine it surreptitiously.
A gum wrapper folded into the shape of a tiny crane lay in his palm.
The bird had flown.
Shikamaru felt his heart leap up in glad excitement. He had not told Ino anything because he did not want to put her in an awkward position with Izumo, even though he could have used her sharp mind. But somehow – from Chouji most likely – she had found out and was sending him this message.
He knew there would be hell to pay, once he got out of here, for not telling her himself. He didn't care. He would gladly tote her market basket on a thousand shopping trips, do early-morning spars, spend his Saturdays working at the flower shop – whatever she asked.
There would still be a thousand things to worry about on Neji's journey through the surrounding lands and open to the North, but at least he had gotten out of the village safely. Shikamaru closed his eyes and went to sleep. He had always been able to fall asleep easily and wake up alert, and he did just that. Several hours later, when the first gray light of dawn entered the cell, he opened his eyes. Without moving from his position on the mat, he began to plan.
From the angle of the sun, he figured it was approximately 6:30. He knew Ibiki came on duty at 8:30. He wanted to wait as long as possible, to give Neji as much time as he could, but he didn't really want to tell his story to Ibiki.
A short while later he heard footsteps; a guard, he supposed, bringing the prisoners breakfast. As he had expected, the metal slot on the door was slid open.
Showtime.
Shikamaru staggered forward, holding his head as if it hurt. "Hey! Hey, you! Did you get him?"
The young guard goggled at him. "What –? Wait – who are you?" He checked the sign outside the door, as if making sure he had the right cell. "Where's the Hyuuga?"
"That's what I'm asking you. Did you capture him?"
"He…escaped?"
"It's still light outside – it's still afternoon, right? Don't let him get awa—"
The guard's expression was one of mounting horror. "It's morning. He was supposed to be executed today."
Shikamaru held his head in both hands and cursed mightily. But inwardly he was exultant. No one had even known Neji was gone! Just as Shikamaru had hoped, he had gotten a head start of almost fifteen hours.
The guard yelled down the hall to someone else and disappeared from view. Shikamaru could hear much loud talking and panicked cursing. Guilt clouded his mind for a moment. He hoped these young guards wouldn't be in too much trouble because of what he had done.
Then for a while, all was silent. He called out a few times, but there was no answer. He wondered if, in their haste to recapture Neji, they had forgotten he was here. Standing at the door yelling was getting tiresome, so he went back and sat down on the sleeping mat.
Eventually he heard a key turn in the lock, and Aoba, one of the Kazekage's top officers, stepped inside. His eyes widened slightly at the sight of Shikamaru sitting there in prison clothes.
Shikamaru got to his feet. "Did they catch him?"
Aoba frowned. "Come with me," he said shortly. He did not cuff Shikamaru, but he took his arm as if he were a prisoner. As they walked across the courtyard like that, Shikamaru was very conscious of the curious glances at him, and the fact that he was wearing prison clothes. He hoped he wouldn't run into anyone he knew.
Flanked by a couple of the younger guards, they made their way through the streets of Suna to the Kazekage's offices. Aoba led him to a small room that was used for interrogations. There Shikamaru was left alone for a while. Trying to put himself into the mindset of a shinobi who had just let a dangerous prisoner escape, he got up and paced the room anxiously. Finally, Aoba returned. Frowning, he motioned for Shikamaru to have a seat, and sat down opposite him.
"Okay, first of all, what were you doing in that cell? Who sent you?"
"No one sent me. I…" Shikamaru made his expression look ashamed and sorrowful. "I wanted to speak to the prisoner before he died. I wanted to ask him a question."
"What question?"
"I just wanted to ask him…" Shikamaru took a deep breath. "I wanted to ask him…why? Why he did it."
"Why he did it?" A cold gravelly voice echoed from the doorway, and Shikamaru turned to look into the fearsome countenance of Ibiki Morino. "I can tell you why he did it." Ibiki stepped into the room and leaned against the wall with his arms folded, staring contemptuously down at Shikamaru. "It's no secret. He hated the North; wouldn't shut up about it as a matter of fact. The massacre in Otogakure – he had no remorse. He told me he hoped Akatsuki did the same thing here in Suna. His only regret was that he hadn't been able to join up with them and be part of it."
Was any of this true? Unwillingly, Shikamaru had to admit that he could picture Neji saying those things, about Otogakure at least. Had he hated Suna too?
Or was Ibiki making it up? He specialized in psychological torture, bending people's minds until they didn't know what to believe, planting the seeds of doubt, fear and suspicion.
"The only thing that mattered to him was that Akatsuki guy."
Shikamaru felt the doubt grow.
Aoba looked impatient. "He's a criminal; his reasons don't matter. I only want to know one thing. Which way do you think he went?"
Shikamaru stared down at the table. "Last time…he said he was supposed to meet them at the Spike Pass Bridge." If you went there, Neji, they will find you. But if you are going home by the route I gave you, hopefully they will never catch you.
###
Neji followed the route Shikamaru had given him. As Shikamaru had instructed, he had changed out of Shikamaru's uniform to the older, drabber clothes Shikamaru had packed, so that he now looked like an ordinary traveler, a merchant perhaps, if he encountered anyone.
So far he had not. Much of the route wound through rugged, uninhabited desert lands. He had traveled most of the night and stopped to rest in the blistering heat of midday, finding a shaded area under an overhang for himself and Shadow.
He was most concerned about Shikamaru. Had Shikamaru been found out? What would they do to him? The thought made his chest constrict painfully.
Of course he always looked out for his teammates on missions, but this was something new, to feel such fear on someone else's behalf. It raised up the ghost of memory, of the only other night he had ever felt that way – the night his father had been taken away. Four-year-old Neji had sat in his bed, listening, as the men's angry voices filled the night. He had been too young to understand what was happening; too small to have a say. He could only wait, terrified and grief stricken, for his father to come back and explain it to him and tell him it would all be okay.
But his father had never come back. Neji had never seen him again, just as he would probably never see Shikamaru again.
This was love, love in all its dark pain. He knew it now, what it was to love somebody.
He was certain, also, that Shikamaru did not feel the same way about him. He still flinched inwardly recalling that moment in the cell when Shikamaru had pushed him away, and the anger on Shikamaru's face.
Do you think I would ever be with a slave?
No, no of course not, why would he, when he could have the old Kazekage's daughter? Shikamaru had done what he had done out of honor, because he had made a promise to Neji. He wanted nothing more from Neji than that Neji get out of his life and leave him alone.
He thought of the Kazekage's daughter; the way she had looked on the stand casting her vote not to put him to death. That would not have been her preference, but she, like Shikamaru, had honor. She was a warrior, too, good with a sword. She and Shikamaru would make a good match. Were they together right now?
Shadow tossed his head, annoyed with how tightly Neji was gripping the reins. Neji eased his grip, and shook himself as well. Why was he torturing himself like this?
As humiliating and awful as that rejection in the cell had been, he did not regret his impetuous confession. He would have regretted it far more if he had not said anything.
###
Despite the grilling and the mind games from Ibiki and Aoba and all the trouble he was almost certainly in, Shikamaru had no regrets about helping Neji escape. Left alone in the room, he put his head down on the desk and dozed.
He was awakened by a familiar scent: the acrid tang of cigarette smoke. He looked up into the bearded, unsmiling face of Asuma-sensei. They regarded each other in silence for a minute or two. Asuma seemed to be gathering his thoughts, and Shikamaru was perfectly happy to let him do that.
"So he overpowered you, huh?" Asuma said finally. He walked to the window and cracked it open a bit to let the smoke out. "How'd he do that?"
Shikamaru gestured at his neck. "Nerve pinch."
"Yeah, that would do it to put you out for awhile. Wouldn't leave any marks, either."
"Yup," Shikamaru said.
"I wonder, though," Asuma stroked his beard. "How did he get close enough to do that?"
"Guess I let my guard down."
"Looks like it." Asuma nodded. "And he took your horse?"
Shikamaru tried to look outraged. "They told me."
"Lucky break for him the horse was there, and all loaded up for a mission," Asuma observed.
"Yeah, lucky. Did Naruto and Chouji go ahead on the mission?"
"Yeah, strangely enough they did. They said they saw him ride out and thought he was you. They didn't look too closely, though, because they were having some kind of argument over the supplies or something."
Shikamaru felt relief and exultation spread through him. It had worked! Aloud, he said, "Another lucky break for him, huh?"
"Yeah," Asuma said pointedly. "Looks like it was his lucky day. Where do you think he was going?"
Shikamaru hesitated. "I…have no idea."
"Heard you told them the Spike Pass Bridge."
"I said the Akatsuki were headed there, and –"
With a sudden decisive gesture, Asuma stubbed out his cigarette and tossed the butt through the open window. "Okay, Shikamaru…cards on the table. Where do you think he was going? To join the Akatsuki?"
Shikamaru drew a deep breath. "No. I think he was going home."
Asuma raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think that?"
"He never sympathized with the Akatsuki. That one time, I think he—" Shikamaru stopped, fighting back the emotions that surged unexpectedly. He cleared his throat. "He wanted to get revenge on Orochimaru, and his freedom. He spoke about his clan many times, and his village. He missed them."
"Mmhmm," Asuma said. He appeared to be weighing his next words. "I know he was a kid. Believe me – I've trained you three since before you were genins, and I know kids can do dumb things. But he was also a highly trained fighter, with at least some connection to the Akatsuki, and he did some real damage to Suna. I know you two were close. But a shinobi can't be sentimental. The village has to come first and foremost."
The extreme contempt of Ibiki and Aoba had stung a little. But Shikamaru found that he really cared very much what Asuma thought of him.
"His clan is very important in the North," he said. "Hypothetically… if he could persuade his uncle to speak to their Kaz – their Hokage I mean - about the possibility of an alliance, do you think the Kazekage would go for it?"
"An alliance?" Asuma said, raising an eyebrow. "You mean between North and South?"
"It might be the only way to stop the Akatsuki."
"Yeah. Hypothetically." Asuma shook his head. "But just because you and this Northern kid took a liking to each other doesn't mean the whole world will get on board. And what makes you think we can trust the North?"
"We have a common enemy," Shikamaru said. "We weren't that friendly with Otogakure, and I wouldn't trust them, but we joined together against the Akatsuki."
Asuma gazed at him thoughtfully for a long moment. Then, with a decisive nod, he turned and left the room, the heavy door banging shut after him. Shikamaru got up and tried the door; it was locked. So he was definitely a prisoner, then. What would they do to him? Even more than the prospect of prison time, he feared losing the respect of not only Asuma but his parents. They had all gone out of their way, his parents considerably, to help Neji. Would they see this as a betrayal?
Another long waiting period ensued. Where had Asuma gone? To speak with someone, most likely, but who, and for what purpose? Was he telling Ibiki or Aoba of Shikamaru's ideas, or had he gone to Iruka to ask that Shikamaru be removed from his team?
He dozed and dreamed – being cast out of the country…his mother with silent tears in her eyes…Ino and Chouji white-faced…
…Neji riding Shadow…right into the arms of Uchiha Itachi…
He sat up. There was no window in the room, so he could not tell how much time had passed. He was getting hungry. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head vigorously, trying to clear his mind of the dreams. Fears, just fears. He had no regrets.
"Ho." The door opened and a young guard Shikamaru had never seen before was standing there. "He wants to see you."
"Who?" Shikamaru asked as they hurried along through the halls, but the question went unanswered. He assumed it was Asuma, and was astonished to find himself taken to the office of Lord Jiraiya. Asuma was also there, frowning. Was that a good or bad sign?
Jiraiya tented his fingers, looking at Shikamaru with his keen dark eyes. "Asuma's filled me in on what you did."
Shikamaru wasn't sure what this encompassed. How much had Asuma guessed? How much had he told Jiraiya? How much trouble was he in?
"And that you believe a truce could be brokered between the North and South countries. Exactly how would that be accomplished?"
"There was a letter of treaty in my saddlebag. Suppose that letter were to make its way to the North Country…" Even to Shikamaru's ears, this sounded ludicrously farfetched.
Jiraiya quirked an eyebrow. "Interesting. But a long shot. A very long shot. Even if he survives the trip – not likely – who's to say what happens on the Northern end of things?"
If he survives…not likely. Shikamaru tried to keep his voice steady. "I think it's worth a try."
"I'm a gambler, kid, I know odds. You're staking a lot on this. Why?"
Shikamaru leaned forward. "Remember you told me about your friend – ?"
"Orochimaru? Yes."
"If you could have saved him, would you?"
Jiraiya sighed heavily and leaned his chin on his folded hands, gazing out the window. "It's not that simple, kid. With some people, their prison is on the inside. I couldn't save Orochimaru from the darkness in his own heart."
###
They traveled in darkness, avoiding the light of day when they could be seen. There was a moon, not full, but it would do. Neji had good night vision; Shadow's was even better, and he knew these roads. Search teams from Suna – and maybe Otogakure as well – would be tracking them. It had been three days now, and he estimated they had put about 100 miles between themselves and Suna by now.
They had stopped to rest. When Neji lifted the saddlebags and tack from Shadow's back, Shadow rolled around in the sand like a dog. He remembered Shikamaru telling him that this was the way horses cleaned themselves, rubbing off the day's sweat and dust. He wondered if he should try it, too.
Shadow was at the mouth of the cave now, dozing on his feet as horses often did, but Neji couldn't sleep. Here in the wee hours of the morning, with the moon reflecting down on the bleak, bleached desert landscape, it felt like the two of them were alone at the edge of the world.
Impulsively, Neji put his arms around Shadow's neck, pressing his face into the horse's mane. He breathed in the scents of saddle soap and the oil Shikamaru used on Shadow's coat, scents that reminded him of Shikamaru himself. He knew he must look foolish standing there like that, but he was beyond caring what his old self would have thought.
Enough, he told himself. He had a mission to complete; he was a shinobi, not some lovesick schoolboy.
###
Almost as much as he missed Neji, Shikamaru missed Shadow. He had said his goodbyes outside the prison to his faithful friend, and he did not regret giving Neji the horse. But it was an ache, like losing an arm.
He had avoided prison time, thanks to Asuma and Jiraiya's intervention. They were the only ones, besides Ino, Chouji and Naruto, who knew the truth. To the rest of the world, he was a sentimental idiot who had sneaked in to visit his Pet, and been overpowered by the dangerous criminal. He had not, however, gone unpunished. He had a month's suspension without pay. He decided to put his time to good use finding a new horse.
At the dealer's stables, he looked at several horses, but was not really taken by any of them.
"Any one of them would be better than the horse you're using now," the dealer said.
"Bo?" Shikamaru said, patting Bo's placid neck. "He's a good boy…he's useful for riding around the village. But I need a strong, fast, smart horse for missions. What else have you got?"
They walked outside to the paddock, where five or six more horses were enjoying the sun. They all looked fairly strong, and passably fast. But they lacked that spark, that certain something he had felt with Shadow. He thanked the horse dealer and was about to leave, when his eye was caught by a lone white horse racing along the back fence of the paddock. It was a little smaller than he was used to, but it moved quickly and easily. Alert too; though it appeared to be paying the humans no attention, he could tell it was aware of them.
He gestured toward the white horse. "How much for him?"
"Her…nah, she's too unmanageable." A crafty look came into the dealer's eyes. "But you're supposed to be good with horses – you could break her easy. 5000 ryo."
Shikamaru hated that expression – breaking a horse. He wasn't trying to dominate the horse so much as come to a mutual understanding of each other. He wanted a partner, not a slave.
Aloud, he said, "Too much trouble. My best horse was stolen; I need another reliable one, not a difficult one. It takes a long time to train a horse like that."
"But look how fine she is!"
"Yeah, she's pretty," Shikamaru said in a disinterested tone. "Your best bet would be to train her yourself."
"I've tried," the dealer admitted. "She's too wild."
In truth, Shikamaru was interested in the horse. He had known the instant he set eyes on her. He had not come in looking for a horse like that; as he had told the dealer, he wanted a dependable workhorse for missions. But seeing her, the way she paced defiantly back and forth and tossed her long black mane – in a crazy way, she reminded him of Neji.
The dealer gestured to the white horse. "I don't suppose you – ?"
"Are you looking to hire me?"
"What's your price?"
Shikamaru pretended to consider it for several minutes before answering. "3500 ryo. Also, there would be three conditions. One, it takes as long as it takes and you don't question my methods. Two, you don't go near her yourself other than what is necessary. And three, if I like her at the end of training, we'll waive my fee and you sell her to me for 1500 ryo."
The dealer mulled it over a few minutes, but eventually, as Shikamaru had known he would, he accepted the terms, and the deal was struck.
The first day, Shikamaru came with apples and carrots for the other horses, who eagerly came to the fence for the treats. He patted them and talked to them awhile. The white horse kept her distance, though he saw her eyeing them.
After a time he let himself into the paddock and walked along the fence to the far area, where the white horse was grazing. She raised her head and snorted warily as he approached. Not looking at her, he sat down against the fence, pulled out a book, and pretended to be engrossed in it. In reality, he was keeping a covert eye on the horse, not wanting to spook her into attacking him. Shadow had tried to bite him the first time they met. He didn't want a repeat of that.
He wondered how Neji and Shadow were doing. Keep to the river, he had told Neji. If they kept to the river and followed the path he had marked, they should be okay.
###
The river was dry.
They had been traveling for a day and a half now…how many miles, Neji had lost count. They were still faithfully following the river route, but gradually the high, rushing waters had diminished to a stream, then a trickle. Now there was only rocks and sand. He had last filled the canteens back when the water was a foot deep, but they were almost empty now, despite his careful rationing.
For a paranoid second, he had wondered if this was some kind of trick by Shikamaru, exacting his revenge for Neji's betrayal by sending them out to die in the desert. But that was absurd. If Shikamaru wanted him dead, he could have simply let events take their course. And even if he still felt bitterness and hatred towards Neji, Shikamaru would never have wanted his horse to suffer as well.
Shadow was tossing his head and pulling mutinously, trying to go back the way they had come. Neji didn't blame the horse; why wouldn't he want to go back to Shikamaru and his good life in Suna rather than dying of thirst out here in the desert.
He weighed their options. They were still deep inside the South Country. Could they risk going into a village? He was afraid less for himself than for Shadow and the mission Shikamaru had entrusted him with. It was becoming harder to think clearly; every inch of him felt parched – his skin, his lips, even his eyes. Ahead of them and around them was only sand, the punishing sun, and here and there the bones of some unfortunate creature, picked clean and bleached white.
That will be us.
###
Shikamaru was sitting in a shady corner of the paddock, gazing idly up at the clouds, the white horse still staying far away from him, when it hit him – a rush of overwhelming heat, exhaustion, weakness and thirst. He had a moment of confusion, and then he felt the tingling on the back of his hand.
Neji!
He jumped to his feet, feeling frantic. Obviously they had gotten lost in the desert, but how? Had his directions been unclear? He had plotted a course that followed a more remote branch of the river, away from the towns and villages.
He needed to find a map, to figure out where they were. He hurried out of the paddock, jumped onto Bo's back and rode into town. As luck would have it Ino was there, outside her family's flower shop.
"Ino! Do you have a map?"
"Well hello to you too." But she did indeed have one, and Shikamaru perused it, breathing hard. By his calculations, in the time since Neji and Shadow had left, they should be in a relatively unpopulated area – so why would they have left the river?
"Is it mostly desert up here, around the river?"
"The old riverbed you mean? It's all desert up there, since the dam was put in."
Shikamaru felt as if the ground had suddenly given way. "The…dam?"
"Didn't you pay any attention in school?" Ino said impatiently. "A few years ago, after Iwagakure got hit by Akatsuki…they put the dam in to make the river deeper and harder to cross where they are."
And in doing so they had diverted the water from this fork of the river. It would have seemed like a good plan; after all, that part of the river ran through empty desert. No one would need to get water from it.
Unless, of course, you were a fugitive traveler trying to avoid the main roads and towns.
"I screwed up, Ino," he said in horror. "I screwed up and now they're dying."
Her eyes widened. "Chouji and Naruto?"
"No, no, they're fine…they're in the villages to the East."
Understanding dawned. She mouthed the word, Neji.
"I'm a fucking idiot."
Ino didn't bother to deny it. "Well, Neji's smart, though. And Shadow knows how to find water, right?"
Yes, yes he did, and Shikamaru had told Neji that. But could he find water when there was none to be found?
###
Shadow is desert-smart, Shikamaru had said. He knows how to find water.
He recalled Shikamaru telling him Shadow was smart, and how he had scoffed at that thought at the time. But everything else Shikamaru had told him had turned out to be true. And what other choice did he have? Even if it meant taking their chances at a village, they would die if they continued in this direction.
"Okay, Shadow," he said, his mouth almost too parched to speak. "Find water. You lead, I'll follow."
Back along the trail they went, almost unbearably retracing their steps, the broiling sun beating down mercilessly. One foot in front of the other. Neji's world has shrunk to that, the simple dogged motion. He had dismounted to take some of the load off Shadow. The horse was plodding too, his head down. Even so, Neji kept falling behind. When the distance between them became too great, he called and Shadow halted to wait for him. After that, Shadow would periodically stop and look back, then wait patiently for Neji to catch up.
They reached a point where the trail branched off in a different direction, and Shadow turned readily to head that way, Neji stumbling along behind. Mercifully, here the path was downhill, with a few rocky outcroppings that provided respite from the blistering sun. Here and there, the chitinous skeletons of tiny scorpions could be seen at the base of the rocks; the only sign of life.
Neji was beginning to hallucinate water, the sound of it, the sight of it. He kept his head down, focusing on the puffs of red dust rising from under his sandals.
Eventually, Shadow stopped. Neji looked around. They were in a wide, flat, arid basin of land between two massive mountains, with little protection from the hot, drying winds. Very far off in the distance, beyond one of the mountains, he could see a sizable walled city; if he recalled the map correctly, that would be Iwagakure. Here and there the mountain side was dotted with other small dwellings, the only sign of civilization.
There was no water anywhere.
Why had Shadow dragged them to this place? Perhaps he had misunderstood Neji's words, or perhaps he was just stopping to rest. But in his heart, Neji thought he knew the truth: that Shadow had stopped because he sensed his human companion had reached his limit and could not go on.
Neji knew this was true. It felt as though his bones were literally turning to sand. He did not have the strength to climb the mountain. He was going to die here.
He was becoming dizzy, his thoughts hazy. Wearily, he laid a hand on Shadow's flank. He had failed, he knew, making Shikamaru's careful planning all in vain. Shadow had his head down, nibbling at some scrubby dried grass. It hit Neji that even though he was most likely going to die, it did not mean Shadow had to die too. With the last of his strength, he unfastened the saddlebags and let them drop to the ground. Then he unbuckled the saddle and lifted it from Shadow's back, leaving only the worn saddle blanket handstitched by Yoshino.
Drawing a kunai from his weapons pouch, he sliced the tip of his finger. Once before, he had written a message in his own blood. Shikamaru had stopped him from dying that time, but he could not help Neji now.
Shikamaru, you saved my life, over and over. I'm so sorry to be giving up like this.
Carefully shaping the letters in blood against the rough blanket, he formed the words:
I BELONG WITH NARA SHIKAMARU
He meant to add "SUNA VILLAGE" and "REWARD," so that there would be an incentive for whoever found Shadow to return him to Shikamaru. He knew Shikamaru would certainly not balk at paying a reward. But a sudden wave of lightheadedness hit him before he could finish shaping the words. He closed his eyes and sank to his knees in the sand.
Shikamaru…I wish…I hope Shadow gets back to you safely…
###
Shikamaru was back at his post when it hit him again. Exhaustion, thirst, weakness, everything shutting down. And overriding it all, concern for Shadow. Neji was dying, but it was not his own life he was worried about, but Shadow's.
There was a rare desert flower that only bloomed once a year. Ino had taken him to see it once, and they had watched as it unfurled its petals, opening its bright, delicate face to the world. Shikamaru felt something opening in him like that now.
Forgiveness.
He pressed his face into his hands. Neji…I wish…please, just be safe…
###
The wind was picking up. Shadow was nosing at Neji, as if trying to get him to his feet. Then he felt a touch on his shoulder, like a warm hand. Of course no one was there, but strangely, he felt comforted by it.
Something peppered the back of his hand, and then the top of his head. The blowing sand, he thought, but then he realized it was wet. He opened his eyes, he opened his hands, and felt it.
The rain had come.
###
Shikamaru felt something nudging at him. He raised his head. The white horse was standing there, her large dark eyes fixed on him. She nuzzled him again, rubbing her face against his.
He still had no idea what was happening to Neji and Shadow. Were they alive? But he felt comforted by her presence.
He reached for his backpack and found the apple he had brought and held it out. She sniffed at it a bit, then took it delicately in her teeth, ladylike, and ate it.
For better or worse, he had a new horse.
###
The light smattering of raindrops intensified, coming down hard now. Neji shook himself from his daze of exhaustion. He had no way of knowing if this rain would last 10 days, like the last time, or be over in a few minutes, but he intended to make the most of it. Reaching for the saddlebags, he pulled out the cooking pot and placed it on the ground near Shadow, who thirstily lapped at the water that collected there.
Neji draped a towel over his head to keep the rain from his eyes; it quickly became soaked. He found the digging tool and began to dig a hole, sucking water from the saturated towel as he worked. After several minutes work, he had a muddy pit three feet wide and a foot deep. Over this, he carefully laid his waterproof tarp, fitting it down into the hole and anchoring it with stones so it would not slip. Now he had a small makeshift pond. The rain was still coming down, and he hoped it would last long enough so they could fill all the canteens.
All of his clothes were soaked. He stripped them off and stood in the pouring rain, letting it wash away the heat and dust. He recalled how he had been too proud – or too afraid – to bathe in the rain in Suna. All that seemed unimportant out here in the desert. Only one thing mattered: survival.
The rain continued for several hours. Neji curled on the ground next to Shadow, covering them both with the blanket. It was soggy and not all that warm, but they would live to see another day. He awoke just before dawn, stiff and damp. Shadow was grazing on the strawlike reeds a short distance away. Pulling the blanket around him, he took stock of the situation. He was pleased to see that his improvised pond was almost full with water; there was probably some silt and debris in there as well but it should be safe to drink.
Watching Shadow munching the reeds reminded Neji that he too would need to find something to eat. Scanning the area, he found no signs of life save for some scrubby trees and a lizard sunning itself on a rock. He broke off the top of a reed and took an experimental nibble, but found it too tough and fibrous.
Looking again at the fat brown lizard, he recalled the roasted lizards at the tournament, and how repulsed he had been at the thought. It didn't seem like such a bad idea now. He got to his feet and headed toward the rock, moving quietly. At first the lizard didn't stir; then, when he was within a foot of the rock, it took off, zipping away with surprising alacrity. Neji leaped after it, making a grab. It skittered away again and stopped several feet away, looking back at him with a glint in its eye. Was it mocking him?
Twenty futile minutes later, he had to admit it – Neji Hyuuga, elite shinobi warrior, had been outsmarted by a reptile.
Tenten's face appeared in his mind. Use your weapons, idiot. Of course she would not have called him that, but she would have thought it, and she would have been right. His mind was so befogged by exhaustion and hunger that he had overlooked the obvious solution. He pulled a kunai from his pack, and sat down to wait. A short while later, he saw another lizard – or maybe it was the same one – darting across the rocks. Instantly he flung the kunai, and this time it did not get away.
He cleaned the lizard and roasted it over a small fire. The meat was tough and gamy; if he hadn't been starving he would have spat it right out. But it was food, no matter how unpleasant.
He remembered the Spice of Life in his saddlebag. Of course it was at the very bottom. But when he had finally located it, and sprinkled it liberally over the charred lizard, he found that Chouji was right: it really did make everything taste better.
He emptied out the saddlebags to make sure nothing had gotten wet. As he did so, something small and bright red tumbled out from the bottom, landing in the sand. He bent down and picked it up. It was the charm Shikamaru had bought him at the New Year.
So you can return safely to your home, Shikamaru had said.
###
Shikamaru was home, but he knew some people thought he should be in prison. They suspected that he had let a traitor to the village escape. There were dark whispers about aiding Akatsuki. Others just thought he was a lovesick fool, deceived and overpowered by a wily criminal.
It was dispiriting, but it was nothing new to him. It seemed he gained people's regard only to lose it again. That was just a minor annoyance, however, compared to the gnawing dread he felt wondering what had happened to Neji and Shadow. He could only hope that they had survived. There had been no further episodes; he didn't know if that was good or bad, and not knowing was torture.
To keep his mind off of it, he focused on training his new horse. He had decided on a name: Doshi. She was a quick learner, but she had a temper and she could be willful.
Like Neji, he thought. Why did everything always circle back around to Neji?
###
Neji and Shadow circled around the center of the town where the river ran, and stopped into a small noodle stand on the outskirts, near a scrubby area where Shadow could graze. Neji kept his sunglasses on, to hide his eyes. If anyone asks, say you have sand-blindness, Shikamaru had told him. The sun reflecting off the sand, it can do that.
The proprietor didn't ask, but he eyed Neji warily as he said, "What can I get you?"
"Whatever's good," Neji said. He was way beyond being picky.
"Curry noodles are our specialty."
The curry was spicy, but Neji had had hotter in Suna and Chikaku. The thick, chewy noodles tasted so good that he had a second bowl and then a third.
"I wasn't sure at first, but I can tell you're from the South," the beaming proprietor told him. "Northerners can't eat this kind of food."
"Yes, that's true."
They traveled a little further that evening, finally bedding down under a bridge. Exhausted, Neji fell into a deep sleep. He was sharply jarred awake by loud, agitated neighing from Shadow. Then he heard men's voices. Instantly alert, he jumped to his feet, flattening himself against the bridge wall. Shikamaru had told him to lay low, but what was happening? Were they trying to steal Shadow?
Shadow neighed angrily again and reared up, striking out with his hooves. Neji heard a thwack and a howl of pain as one of the figures went down. Then much cursing.
"Leave it, leave it…just cut him and let's go," one growled.
Cut him? Forgetting Shikamaru's advice against using his ninja skills, Neji was on them like a maddened dervish, laying out the three men still standing in a matter of seconds. One took to his heels; the others lay groaning in the dirt while Neji saddled up Shadow and rode off. Adrenaline had driven the tiredness from their blood, and they traveled for several hours before finding a secluded place to rest again.
After that, they were doubly cautious, only stopping in at the very edges of inhabited areas to fill up on water and supplies, then traveling mostly at night and hiding out in caves or beneath cliffs. Looking at the map, Neji found a much smaller river that ran northward, through what looked to be mostly sparsely populated areas. They could follow that.
On the third day, they came to the edge of a soybean field. Although there was a plentiful soybean crop, which they helped themselves to for a tasty meal, it didn't appear to be patrolled or particularly well-tended, with long weeds springing up among the bean plants. Neji thought it would make an excellent place to bed down for the night.
He awoke to find a small, wrinkled brown face peering down at him. An old woman was standing there, a large orange dog by her side. Hurriedly, he jumped to his feet, brushing the weeds from his hair and clothes, and bowed deeply.
"Please…forgive me for trespassing on your land. My horse and I…we mean you no harm. We are just poor travelers looking for a place to camp for the night."
From under her wide straw hat, the old woman squinted at him and Shadow, who was munching unconcernedly on some weeds. "That's a fine horse," she observed, shifting the heavy-looking basket of beans she carried from one hip to the other.
"I would be happy to help you carry those beans in," Neji offered.
"If you're thinking to rob me, I have nothing to steal."
"I'm not a thief." Neji flushed a bit, remembering that that was not quite true. "Well, we did eat a few beans. But all we want is to sleep in a corner of your field for the night."
She studied him a minute without speaking. Then, as if making up her mind, she said, "I can do better than that. Can you pick beans?"
Neji supposed he could.
"My husband is gone, and I need someone to help me bring in the harvest. If you can stay a few days and help me out, you and your horse can stay in the barn, and I'll throw in meals."
Neji hesitated. On the one hand, he wanted to get to Konoha as quickly as he could to fulfill his promise to Shikamaru before the Akatsuki threat got worse. But he and Shadow were both exhausted from being on the road, and a few days rest and some regular meals would do them good. Plus, it had always been drilled into him to respect his elders. And there looked to be a lot of beans.
She led him around the back, where there was a small vegetable garden, and, beyond that, an old barn with a very old horse and several chickens.
"You are welcome to sleep on the straw."
It was warm and comfortable in the barn. The chickens were noisy at first, but soon settled down. Shadow and the old horse sniffed each other curiously, then stood munching hay together companionably. Neji thought of Shikamaru sleeping in the stables during the rains. He thought now he understood why Shikamaru liked it so much. There was something peaceful about the sounds of the animals and their presence.
He was jarred awake by the noisy crowing of a raggedy rooster that looked absurdly proud of itself. He sat up and stretched, combing straw out of his hair with his fingers. It was early, not quite daylight, and he decided to meditate, something he had not done in weeks. Sitting upright, he closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind…
"Ho!" a cheerful voice rasped. "You sleep sitting up like a horse, hey?"
Neji got to his feet and bowed. "Good morning."
The old woman opened the gates to let the horses and chickens out to graze, then took down two baskets from a hook on the barn wall, handing him one. She showed him how to tell if the beans were ripe, and how to cut them from the vine without harm. She lent him a hat that had belonged to her husband, a wide-brimmed conical straw hat like rice farmers wore. He thanked her and took down his hair. They worked all day, only taking a break midmorning for a meal and then another at the end of the day.
The old woman's cooking was simple and good. Sometimes, over dinner, they would chat. She asked him no questions about his life. Instead, she would tell him stories of her late husband and her daughter, who lived in a large city and visited on holidays.
"Aren't you afraid," he asked her, "here by yourself?"
"Afraid of what? Bandits? Animals? I have my dog. And I have nothing to take."
"Akatsuki…" Neji said. He had hesitated in bringing up such a fearsome name, not wanting to make her afraid.
But the old woman only chuckled. "Akatsuki's not interested in me, one old lady with a bean patch. I'm no-one."
I am no one either, Neji thought. Aloud, he said, "Grandmother…you have never asked where I'm from…North or South?"
She shrugged. "What do I care? You work hard and you're respectful – that's good enough. People are people. As long as they buy my beans, I'm happy to see them."
He felt himself a man between two worlds. If she had asked, what would he have said? He was a Northerner by birth, but some of his heart belonged to the South as well.
It took four days to bring in the harvest. The old woman thanked him. "You're a good worker." She brought him some clean clothes that had belonged to her husband, and told him he could bathe in the river. "Don't worry," she said with a sly grin, "I won't look."
The river in this area was shallow and fairly slow moving. Neji walked downstream a little, to where it became deeper, good for bathing. He squatted on his heels on the bank, watching some tiny fish swim languidly along the bottom. His reflection looked back at him; his hair ragged, his skin tanned. It was the face of a stranger, a stranger in a straw hat. No, more than that.
It was the face of a man. He was a man now.
He had been a member of the most prestigious clan in his village, and he had been a slave.
He had eaten a fantastic banquet in a palace, and he had eaten lizards in the desert.
He had won tournaments, and he had worked in a bean field.
He had killed a man.
He had kissed a man.
He was now free, a man adrift, a man between two worlds. He was wanted for treason in one, maybe both. Certainly he was a missing-nin in Konoha.
And he knew now, what it was to love someone, to love them more than you loved your own life.
Stripping off his clothes, he slipped into the water and began to bathe. He wondered how it would be to just stay here, helping the old woman. Rise each morning, meditate, work in the fields, eat a simple meal, sleep. Not so bad. Shadow seemed to like it here too; plenty of long grass and another horse to keep him company.
But he could not, of course. He had a mission, and a promise he intended to keep.
Feeling the cool water rush past his skin, he tipped his head back and watched a flock of crows circling above the bean fields. The sight brought a sharp memory of the birds on the kimono Shikamaru had given him at New Year's.
There was a saying, Even in the most placid fields, the wind still blows. Even in a peaceful moment like this, thoughts of Shikamaru still blew through his mind, stirring up emotions he was trying to forget.
He bathed, and put on the clothes the old woman had given him. They were more modest than what he was used to wearing in Suna, a sign he was growing closer to the North. He smoothed down his hair as best he could, and tied it back. Bending down to put his sandals on, he caught sight of his reflection in the water's surface once more, and felt a shock of recognition.
His father's face looked back at him.
The present seemed to blur with the past for a moment. In his mind, he heard his father's voice.
Come back to Konoha. You're a Hyuuga.
Whatever was waiting for him there, he knew in his heart this was true. He could not undo the things he had done, but he could face them, and try to make amends.
They left early the next morning. The old woman gave Neji some of her homemade pressed tofu cakes for sustenance along the way, and they were off. After his days off in the pasture, Shadow was full of energy and ready to travel. Neji, who was tired from the long days picking beans, was content to sit back and let him take the lead. It was a pleasant day, and Neji fell into a kind of waking trance as the hours passed, lulled by the warm breeze and the rhythmic motion of Shadow's hooves.
It was almost sundown and they had been traveling for miles without seeing anyone when Shadow suddenly halted, laying his ears back and sniffing the air uneasily. Neji was instantly alert, snapping out of his daze and reaching for his weapon pouch. He looked around. They were at the edge of a wooded area, and all seemed peaceful enough. Was someone hiding in the forest, lying in wait? But he could detect no one, no motion, no sound.
He urged Shadow forward, and again the horse balked, tossing his head and looking up dubiously at the large old trees looming above them. Neji suddenly understood. It was not anything hiding in the forest, but the forest itself that had unsettled Shadow. Being a desert horse all his life, he had never seen anything like it. Looking around him, Neji realized something else as well. Everything around them was green.
They had crossed into the North Country.
Now they could take a more direct route, through the villages and populated areas, and the miles went more quickly. The villages were more what Neji was used to - square, brightly painted houses, crowded more closely together, with electric wires criss-crossing the skies. The food was less spicy; there were more fresh fruits and vegetables, especially the bitter greens that Neji liked. It was strange, hard to acclimate himself to again, and yet, he felt more relaxed than he had in months. The people here looked more like him; their skin was lighter, their hair darker and longer. Except for his distinctive eyes, he could blend in easily as one of them.
Neji felt a welter of emotions – sadness at knowing he would never see Shikamaru or the South Country again, apprehension about what was waiting in Konoha, and above all, a fevered impatience to be at their destination. He was tired of traveling, tired of this solitary existence. Being with Shikamaru, letting another person into his life like that, he had come to understand the value of having a companion.
Or a lover.
He shook that thought out of his head. It could never be, and he should stop tormenting himself with it. But every new or familiar sight reminded him that it was his own fault he could never share this with Shikamaru. He found himself telling Shadow about it sometimes, although the horse still seemed on edge and certainly did not share Shikamaru's excitement and enthusiasm for new places. Each time, there was a knife-edge of anguish, recalling Shikamaru's words.
I had hoped to escort you back to your homeland...visit your village and see all the places you told me about.
A few days later, he realized he no longer needed Shikamaru's map. He recognized those mountains. He knew where they were. Now he was the one pushing Shadow on, getting off and jogging alongside when the horse seemed to be growing tired. Long past the time when they would have normally stopped for the night, he kept going, mile after relentless mile, through a haze of exhaustion, Shadow huffing, his head down, almost nothing left…until in the distance, he saw, with a rush of emotion that sucked the breath from his body, the gates of Konoha.
He was home.
###
A.N.: Thanks for reading, everyone! No, this is not the end yet. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought! I promise to be quicker with the next update.