Afterglow

Gage flinched as he snapped awake, clutching hard at something across his chest, his mind immediately springing to a plan of action. He'd been captured—tied up and prepped for torture. He struggled to sit up, ready to fight.

"Gage?"

Gage froze and looked down, realising he was clutching an arm—and not just any arm, but an arm still attached to its owner. He released it as he glanced over his shoulder and saw Jack staring bleary eyed and confused. Sudden understanding dawned on her, banishing sleep, and she reached for her gun on the coffee table, her face set.

"No, it's nothin'." Gage seized her outstretched hand and lowered it. "Jus'...dreamin'." He averted his gaze and disguised his embarrassment with a yawn. The hell was he being so jumpy for?

Jack remained tense, her head tilted as if listening for something, and then slowly relaxed, setting her gun down on the floor next to her. She sat up properly, wrapping her arms around Gage's middle and kissing his neck. "Morning."

"Mornin'," Gage mumbled, his cheeks hot. He must have been damn tired to pass out on the sofa like that, and even more so to hold onto Jack like a kid with a teddy bear. His eye flicked to the door again, but he resisted the urge to check it was still locked. He'd know soon enough if anyone had seen him in such a pitiful position.

Jack kissed his ear and he shivered.

"Sleep well?" she whispered.

"Too well." He shook her off and scooted a little down the sofa, catching her hurt expression before she could hide it. He gave her an apologetic shrug. "Just need to stretch. Not a good idea to go through a whole night with no one on watch."

"The door stayed locked, Gage," Jack said with a bite of impatience. "And one of the perks of running this place is my people do watch for me."

"I don't know 'em," Gage retorted.

"But I do. If you trust me, you trust them."

"Who says I trust you?"

"Your snoring said it for you," Jack snapped, scowling. "You fell asleep cuddling my arm like a big baby. Or do you do that to every asshole you meet?"

"Woman, I don't cuddle."

Jack crawled along the sofa, drawing temptingly close to him. "Fine. You snuggle."

"I don't—"

"You embrace," Jack went on, eyes lighting up as his temper rose. "You... hold. Nestle. Nuzzle. Hug. Caress. Dandle."

"The fuck is a dandle?"

"No idea," Jack murmured, kissing him. "I ran out of words."

Gage laughed into her mouth and pulled her onto his lap, running his hands up her thighs. The night's rest had done him a world of good, and every filthy thought he'd been cultivating over the last few days now crashed to the forefront of his mind.

He drew her close. Those lips against his. Soft and pink, little breaths of pleasure escaping them in her surprise. That's what he wanted. He cupped her face in his hands, kissing her long and slow, the way she had kissed him in Diamond City. She gripped his hair tight, and he shivered. He couldn't get enough of it. The taste of her. The way she gently bit his lip, before pulling away and pressing kisses to his collarbone, his neck, his cheeks…

She wriggled and grinned, pushing up against his crotch. "Mmm. Someone's excited."

"I've got a promise to keep," Gage said, undoing her shirt slowly and nipping at the bare skin each button revealed. "What was it? Fuck you until you forget. Nothing else." Jack opened her mouth to argue, but he was too quick, twisting hard and sending her toppling onto the sofa with a squeak of surprise.

He was on her in a second, biting her neck and dragging his nails down her stomach, revelling the way she squirmed and gasped at his touch. Gage met her eye. "That I can do." He hesitated, shuddering with anticipation. No matter the game, she had him well trained. He pulled back, feeling a twinge of smug satisfaction at the needy look in her face. "With your permission."

Her expression shifted from apprehensive lust to shock, and for a moment he wondered if he'd said the wrong thing. She stared at him, her mouth hanging open. But then gratitude trickled down through her features so slowly Gage didn't see the change until it had already happened. This confused him even more. What did she have to be grateful about?

Jack grinned, her dark eyes glittering with excitement. She wrapped her legs around him and dragged him forward with such unexpected force Gage nearly toppled headfirst off the sofa, catching himself at the last minute. Her thighs squeezed his middle hard and she whispered in his ear, "You have permission. And you don't finish until I tell you to."

"Yes," Gage breathed, tugging at her belt as her hands reached for his.

God, yes.

Gage lay in a heady haze, Jack held tight against him. She'd never let him cut loose like that before, and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't taken full advantage of it. He studied the shape of her face—in particular those full lips and dark, intense eyes. Jack was something else. Gage didn't have the words to describe it. He just felt it deep within his chest.

He wasn't sure how long they'd been lying there for. They'd fucked, and goddamn it had been good. Different than usual. And afterwards, instead of getting dressed immediately and making sure he was secure in his armour, Jack had stretched out, nuzzling into him. His hand twitched of its own accord, and Gage knew straight away he'd already lost. He'd relaxed, draping his arm over her, savouring her presence, and Jack had been there ever since, tracing lazy circles on his skin with her finger.

It was...nice.

Nice. So mediocre, and yet always out of his reach. The price for survival—but Jack's weight made him feel like he'd been swindled somewhere along the way.

Time slipped by, unhurried and unnoticed. Gage ran his fingers through Jack's hair, watched as she rose and fell with the movement of his steady breathing. Eventually he let his hand slide to her ample bottom. Not to suggest anything, but...well, goddamn, that ass.

Jack looked up at him, eyebrow raised. "Again?"

Gage considered this for a moment, then shook his head. "I'm good." He gave her ass a squeeze, then returned to her hair. There was so much of her he wanted to touch, and he only had two hands to work with.

She stared at him in silence, her expression unreadable. "What you thinking?"

Gage licked his lips. Where to begin? A lot had been going through his head while they'd been lying here. One thought stood out amongst the rest, though. "I'm thinking...you're a real stunner, you know that?"

She blinked, a dark flush spreading across her cheeks as she grinned. "You're after something."

"Nah." He continued to toy absently with her hair. "Jus' occurred to me I don't say it like I should."

Her expression softened as she gazed at him, and Gage felt the last bit of tension leave his face. He stared back with a small smile, fingers still curled in her hair, the silence speaking for him. The mood in the air subtly changed—thick with anticipation, but for what he couldn't say. Not unpleasant. Just...unfamiliar.

There was so much about Jack that was unfamiliar to him. Strange and exciting, a flame flickering in his belly, stoking his chest. Gage wanted her, as he always did. But not to fuck. He couldn't place the desire. The unknown word melted in his mouth, sweet but cloying. A spike of unease cut through the warmth. Gage pushed it aside.

Boston was on his mind—the way she'd crawled to him, pressing against him, giving her all to the comfort of his arms. It was so alien. To touch her, simply because she was there. To talk about everything and nothing, and never fear harm or ridicule. An understanding beyond comprehension—or at least anything Gage knew.

Jack made a noise in her throat, brow furrowing with apprehension. She hesitated, lips wrestling with unspoken words, and then blurted out, "I don't think I've met anyone like you before."

Gage blinked, the hand in her hair pausing. "I don't follow."

She looked as confused as he felt. "I can't describe it. I just...you're different. You're…" A slow blush spread lazily across her cheeks. "Special."

He stared at her.

"You're...considerate. It's not just about you. You know what I need and you let me have it. You don't judge me—you don't even give a shit about my past. And even when you don't understand it, you let me have my hurt anyway."

His skin began to prickle uncomfortably, and for the first time since they'd settled, his eye flicked towards the locked door and back again.

Jack threw an alarmed glance in the same direction. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Gage grunted, the tension coming back. He resisted the urge to rub his arms, but found he couldn't keep his eye from darting towards the exit and his gear on the floor. This was more than he'd ever anticipated. More than he could deal with. Relationships were chinks in the armour—there to be exploited, to pierce his defenses, to draw blood. And if it wasn't someone else using it against him, it would be—

Jack?

How much did he know about Jack really? Very little, considering his ignorance of her slaver past, and even that was suspect. She had a soft spot for the slaves after all, and seemed to dote on the kid, Sarah. The other raider gangs were at her beck and call, as far as the brothel went, and he, Gage, was the perfect avenue for getting what she wanted in Nuka World. More slaves, maybe? Or perhaps she wanted to free them...would make sense, if she was telling him the truth about anything.

Or maybe…

Gage rubbed his forehead with his knuckles, confused. Where was this all coming from? His paranoia—her "feelings"—things had been fine as they were. Why did she have to go fuck it all up? And why—God fucking damn it, why —was his chest so tight, his heart racing so much?

Gage knew she was waiting for an answer. A response. Something. He could hear Jack saying the words, though they sounded distant and far away, muddied and muddled, stuttering in his head. He had no answer for her. His mouth was too dry to speak.

Her eyes were burning into him. She reached out, her arms slipping around his neck. Trying to hold him, or be held. Try to leech comfort from him. Disgust crawled through his veins. Weak. It was all so fucking weak.

A bang downstairs gave Gage his excuse. He sat up sharply, nudging Jack off him under the pretense of listening for the sound, and then quickly began to gather his clothes. He had no doubt one of her 'employees' had just dropped something by accident, but he was going to seize the lifeline at all costs.

Gage wasn't ready for this—whatever this was. More than casual lust, he knew that much. Maybe it always had been more than that. And whatever his misgivings might be, he couldn't pretend it was one-sided. She glowed in his presence, and he burned alongside her, the merest touch rushing through him like wildfire. The way she made him feel...

That worried him more than anything else—he'd let himself become vulnerable—weak—and hadn't even realised until it was almost too late.

It terrified him.

Jack remained on the sofa, unmoving. As he pulled his dirty tank top over his head, she said, "What are we, Gage?

"Huh?" His stomach plummeted. Shit.

"What are we?" she repeated, her voice stronger.

Gage shrugged, avoiding her eye. "I dunno. What's with the stupid question?"

He glanced up in time to see her flush. Jack sat poised on the sofa, her arms folded tight across her breasts as she glared at him. "Don't give me that crap. You know damn well we've both been...acting different."

"Is this really the conversation you wanna be having now?" He gestured vaguely to their mutual state of undress. "You pick your fuckin' moments."

Jack continued to glare. He would not be avoiding this talk. Panic rose like bile, and Gage found himself rendered speechless. So she went on.

"I know you don't like being close to people. I accepted that from the start. But this is more than just fun, and it has been for a while. When Colter and the gangs were breathing down your neck, you came to me. Not just to fuck, but to talk. To get things off your chest."

She shifted in her seat and he saw her eyes were overly bright. "But time and time again, you lead me on, you make me think there's something more, and then you get frightened and run away."

Frightened? This rankled him. "I am not—"

"Or you play it off like it was nothing, and go back to being your miserable, bitter self."

"Or," Gage said loudly, the anger building like an unstable fusion core, "you're reading too much into it. Ever thought of that?" He pulled on his underwear and pants at breakneck speed, keen to avoid the indignity of having his dick out for the swiftly approaching fight.

Jack held no such qualms. Still naked, she jumped to her feet, her features an ugly mixture of hurt and embarrassment. "When you were high on that Quantum river shit you said you'd do anything for me," Jack parried. "Was I reading too much into it then?"

Did I?

Gage rolled his eye, suddenly nervous, and dragged his boots on. "I was high." He needed to get out of here quick.

"You held me in Boston. You listen to me when I need someone to talk to. You let your guard down around me. You told me your worries. Your fears. Ambitions. You—"

"That wasn't—"

"Stop making excuses!"

"I ain't makin' excuses!" He glared at her. "We was havin' a good morning—why you always gotta spoil it? Get clingy and latch onto me, tell me stupid shit I don't need to hear?" The thought of holding her again sent shivers down his spine. He swallowed the urge and smothered it with rage. "What do you fuckin' want from me?"

"Some goddamn honesty!" Jack yelled at him, her face red with anger.

"I'm bein' honest!" Gage bellowed back, kicking the coffee table so hard it spun off into the wall with a loud bang.

Jack went rigid. He'd forgotten how protective she was of her possessions. "That is mahogany," she snarled. "Don't you dare break it."

What the fuck is mahogany?

The petty bickering wrenched Gage back to his senses, skin prickling with rage as he snapped, "You want to know what we are? We aren't anything."

Jack drew close and poked him hard in the chest. "That is bull and you know it!"

Gage batted her hand away, his temper at breaking point. "We said from the start, just sex. Nothing else."

"We never agreed to anything!"

This was true, and it enraged him to know she was right.

"Well let me set the record straight," Gage snarled, nose to nose with her now, "We ain't ever been shit. We never have, we never will. You of all people should be able to pick out a quick, easy fuck."

Jack flinched as if she'd been slapped, and Gage regretted it instantly. They stood in silence, staring at each other for what could have been hours. The terrible quiet dragged, the sudden mask over Jack's face telling Gage he had struck deep.

"Okay," she whispered, grating on Gage's ears like a scream. "Okay."

He bit his lip. "Jack—"

"Shut up." Her tone was crisp, business-like. He'd heard it once before, the day he'd first walked into her brothel and tried his luck with her. It was the cool voice of unfamiliarity and it cut like a knife.

She paused, blinking rapidly, before regaining control. Her words remained steady, but the mask had slipped, and her expression was broken. "I can't do this anymore. Not when I know you're going to just brush me off afterwards."

Jack turned from him, picking up her clothes and slowly putting them back on. There was no rush—shame was not a concept Jack entertained. She caught his eye, the pain clear in every line of her face. "I...I don't know how to fix this." She laughed bitterly. "Maybe I can't. Maybe raiders are meant to be fucked up. But it stops here. I don't see the point in trying anymore."

Gage wanted to say something— anything —but he couldn't think what. He opted to open and close his mouth stupidly for a few seconds instead.

"Next time you come back," she said, sounding almost conversational now as she pulled her shirt over her head, "you can pay like everyone else."

Gage winced. His heart was racing and he felt sick with dread. He craved the numb again, where the only thing he felt was the rush of a kill. Killing was control, and he needed control. He scowled at her, hating her for taking his composure away, and before he could stop himself spat, "I thought you were done being a whore?"

He knew he'd gone too far before he'd even finished the sentence.

Jack deflated. Eyes closed tight, she hugged herself, small and defeated. Everything that was Jack melted away, leaving behind a shell, broken and alone. The slave had returned. Finally there was a tremor as she said, "Maybe I'm just your whore."

"No." The word burst from his lips without warning. But she had to know he was wrong. He shouldn't have said it. "You're not... that. You'll never be that again."

Her eyes flickered open and she gazed at him, her expression unreadable. Slowly her face hardened, and he watched as her posture straightened, her head held high in bold defiance as Jack came back into control. "You're right. I'm not." Rage rolled off her as she strode past Gage, hoisting his armour off the floor and thrusting it into his arms with enough force to almost bowl him over.

"So get out."

A/N: Well, England is on lockdown. I have an essential job so I still have to work. I'll try and keep you all entertained with fic for the foreseeable future. Speaking of which, I'm writing a new Quinn x Danse story set in Far Harbor...

Also, this is another one of my favourite chapters. :)