I am on a role with my Loud Gravity stuff. I still not sure if I should do an original chapter or go to Fight Fighters. What do you guys think?

I owe none of the content in this.

Dipper's Guide 3: Stan's Tattoo

[Static. Dipper is standing in his room. Lucy was sitting nearby.]

Dipper: Hello, I'm Lucas Loud or you can also call me Dipper. The person behind the camera is my brother Lincoln.

Lincoln [waves]: Hey.

Lucas: Today on 'Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained' we investigate Anomaly #23, Grunkle Stan's secret tattoo. [Looks at bulletin board with pictures of Stan's tattoo] What is he hiding? A college prank? Secret Symbol? Or something stranger? Stan claims it doesn't exist, but today we're gonna find out. Our sister Lucy is with us. So sis, do you know what's Stan's tattoo is?

Lucy: I don't know what it looks like.

Dipper: Seriously? But your always in the vents and know what's going on.

Lucy: Luke, there's some thing's I don't do and wanna see. One of them is seeing something I won't be able to un-see about my Great Uncle. So no, I don't know what his tattoo looks like.

Dipper: Ok, time to rethink our strategy now.

[Static.]

Dipper: Okay, here's the plan. Stan never takes off his undershirt. Obviously to hide his tattoo. But me and Soos are about to 'turn up the heat' on this mystery. Geez, I'm starting to sound like Luan. [Turns the heat up on the thermostat.]

Lincoln: We've all been there bro.

Soos: But that was a good one though.

[Static. Another camera is hiding in the gift shop, Stan was checking something on a board and Soos walks in.]

Soos: Whoo, hot in here today, huh, Mr. Pines? Probably be a lot cooler if we… [Takes off his shirt]… worked without our shirts on! Am I right?

Stan: Soos, I will pay you to put your shirt back on.

Soos: Aw, don't be shy, Mr. Pines [grunts and lies on table] Bodies are nothing to be ashamed of.

Stan: Watch the shop for a minute. Soos, I need to go find a melon-baller and pull my eyeballs out. [Leaves.]

Soos: [Plays with his stomach and sings]

Lori [coming into view.]: Hey Grunkle Stan, I'm heading out with the… [Sees Soos] I'm… just going to leave.

[Lori leaves. Soos shrugs and continues what he was doing. Static]

Lincoln: Okay, plan B. I got this. [To Stan] Holy shmoly! Is that poison Ivy on your shoulder? Let me scratch it for you. [Reaches for Stan's tattoo.

Stan [Smacks Lincoln's hand away.] Kid, I heard about how you and your brother come up with plans that are good. This is not one of them. You'll have to try harder than that to see my tattoo.

Lincoln: A-ha! You said you didn't have a tattoo!

Stan: I don't, but you do. [Reaches for Lincoln with a marker.]

Lincoln: Huh? What do you- AAHH!

[Static, cuts to Dipper and Lincoln, with Lincoln having the word 'Goober' written on his forehead.]

Dipper: Okay, Plan C. Stan is in the shower. I wish it hadn't come to this, but sometimes you have to do terrible things for science. Lisa is an prime example.

Lynn [off-screen and holding the camera]: This better be worth it. I will beat the stuffing out of you and goober for making me see something I won't be able to un-see.

Lincoln [slightly smug]: Don't worry Lynn, Luke got the short straw and he goes in.

Dipper [slightly irritated]: You don't have to rub it in. [Lucas takes the camera, walks into the bathroom and opens the shower curtain. Which reveals Stan fully dressed and water running down his face.]

Stan: You're never gonna see it, kids. Never. Gonna. See it.

Dipper: How long have you been standing there?

Stan: Give me that camera! [Reaches for camera.]

Lucas, Lincoln and Lynn: AH!

[Static. The three of them are shown to be hiding on the roof.]

Lincoln: Yeah, Stan is pissed at us. So we decided to chill out up her while…

Stan [Off-screen]: I'M GONNA FIND YOU, KIDS!

[Crows fly from the woods.]

Lynn: Yeah, I say 10 or 15 minutes tops before we come down.

Dipper: Well, that's it for this episode. Stan's tattoo remains in mystery, but who know what other secrets are waiting to be uncovered.

[Static. End.]