Heyo, another author note! As you can probs tell, I edited the earlier chapters. That's because I had been using my phone and it wouldn't save important things, like italics and bolding as well as '…' which signify either a time skip or a POV change.
So yeet, issues been fixed, rest of chapters will proceed just like this. Enjoy Kurama's lovely effect and actually being able to tell what's going on! Thanks for all the love and support! Please keep making comments and giving me suggestions (so i can catch mistakes like these, darn app), it makes me soo happy!
Also, rip the short chapter but it's necessary.
Chapter 4: Alone
The room was absolutely quiet. The kind that rips at you in a way you wouldn't expect. It latches on and holds you still. It chips away slowly at your mind until there's nothing left.
Alone.
So alone.
No one.
But you.
Do I not count?
Naruto ignored the question and closed his eyes for the hundredth time.
The pitch blackness was an old acquaintance Naruto had grown much too familiar with. His eye bag hung heavy, completely wrecking his outward appearance. If someone had mistaken him for a corpse, he wouldn't blame them.
He felt like one.
He was going to sleep. He was going to sleep. He was going to sleep.
You're an idiot. Repeating things won't make them happen.
"Shut up."
Why should I? You don't sleep whether I talk to you or not. Besides, you wanted this…
"Please shut up."
How about NO.
Naruto sighed and spaced him out. It wasn't easy, but Naruto had had years to practice.
Focus on the fabric. It was soft, for the most part. And heavey. It weighed on his chest but not by much. He still breathed with ease. The feel reminded him vaguely of soft pillow he could never remember owning, if he tried.
Naruto laid sprawled across the floor, deep in covers. The bed was no comfort and provided no sleep. It just reminded him that he should be sleeping. Which is the last thing you want when you're trying to. You have to focus on not focusing on anything. Which isn't easy.
Especially when his body kept reminding him that eating was a thing he had to do on a regular basis.
The heavy blanket cocooned his body in a beautiful but unbearable warmth. How anything could be so warm without any reason to was baffling.
It was soft.
What was it made of?
Cotton?
Like sheep.
He should count sheep.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
Six…
seven…
eight...
n i n e
…
Two hundred.
Two hundred in one.
Two hundred in two.
It's not going to help.
"You aren't helping either."
What do you want from me? I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm a demon. How can a demon help a worthless child sleep?
"By leaving me alone."
Ohhhh. You might regret those words…
"I won't."
Fine then. I'll leave. I'll let your own subconsciousness mess with you.
Naruto pressed his eyes closed. Think about nothing. Nothing. Just nothing.
Hours passed, the sunlight drifting into the room. He didn't have school today. So he kept trying. The silence scraped into him. The hollow empty consumed him.
Naruto swore the clock had a vendetta against him as it thumped loudly in his head like the banging of symbols.
Naruto bit into lip, drawing blood like he often did. He tried to focus on the physical pain and blood welling in his mouth but his head still throbbed like nothing had ever changed.
Nothing would ever change.
He just wanted to sleep.
Why couldn't he just sleep?
Why?
You don't deserve it.
This wasn't Kurama. He had a voice, clear and decisive. This came as a single thought that played through his mind.
Over and over. Over and over. Over and over.
The thought was right. He doesn't deserve to sleep.
You don't deserve anything. You don't deserve happiness. You don't deserve peace. You don't deserve to live.
He doesn't.
But he can't leave.
He promised himself he wouldn't.
Not while the third Hokage was here.
Wouldn't it be better for him if his headache was gone? Wouldn't it be better if he didn't have anyone to worry about?
That's … wrong.
That's not how it works.
You're dumb.
He knew that.
You're worthless.
He knew that.
You should just die.
He knew that.
You don't deserve to die.
Huh?
Death's not a punishment. It's an escape. You don't deserve to escape. You deserve to be trapped in this pathetic little life of yours.
...right.
He can't keep thinking so selfishly. Naruto had to stay here. After all, this was his punishment. Criminals don't get to end their lives in prison. They have to stay there till someone else decides they die.
He'd have to wait for his turn.
I can't leave you alone, can I? Get silly ideas in your head.
"Guess not."