Star Wars: Return of the Sith

23: Tenn's Tale: Catalyst

By Nanaki

228 A.B.Y.

At eighteen years old, Tenn found herself contemplating how life rarely turns out the way you hope it will. She'd been doing that a lot lately. She was currently sitting behind the main vent of an air circulation system deep in the bowels of Coruscant, waiting for a gang of particularly nasty spice dealers to appear. Master Rondo was a big believer in learning by doing, and since his duties as Grand Master kept him confined to Coruscant most of the time, he often sent Tenn off to learn by assisting local law enforcement. Tenn imagined that if Seco found himself in this situation, he would probably bristle at the perceived lack of attention from his master. Tenn, however, understood how busy and how important her master was. Also, with his centuries of life experience, he was a more efficient teacher than most, and always carefully planned out the time they did spend together in order to teach most effectively. Plus, having grown up on Ryloth, Tenn had seen firsthand how drug addiction could tear families apart, so busting up a ring of drug dealers was not a duty she minded in the least.

Being Master Rondo's Padawan was just one example of the unexpected turns her life had taken. She had never seriously considered the possibility, and hadn't even put herself up for consideration. Even so, events had unfolded just as Negian had predicted: Lucia had been promoted directly to Jedi Knight after completing the AP program, so Tenn, with her near-perfect grades and a personality that was indeed a lot like Master Rondo's, was the natural choice to become the Grand Master's Padawan. They made an unlikely pair, even in a galaxy as diverse as this one: a hulking Gen'Dai who was large even by the standards of his people, and a delicate, waifish Twi'lek girl. They worked well together though, there was no denying that.

Probably the most unexpected aspect of Tenn's life as a Jedi so far was that she was proving to be most gifted at the most destructive aspects of it. When she started out, she didn't really have a firm idea of what kind of Jedi she wanted to be, but she hadn't imagined herself as a combat master, incredibly powerful when it came to using the Force to enhance her own movements. In fact, she was so talented in this area that Master Rondo had even begun teaching her Morichro, a Force technique that allowed the user to control an opponent's heartbeat and metabolism. Morichro was not often taught to Padawans, both because subduing an opponent could be achieved through less invasive means, and because those invasive means skirted the dark side, if just a bit. Master Rondo believed she had both the necessary judgment and control of her powers to use it responsibly.

Tenn hoped he was right. Recent events had led her to seriously doubt her own judgment. After nearly two and a half years together, she had broken up with Negian two months ago, and it hadn't gone well.

"If you can even imagine a future where we're not together, and that doesn't just tear you apart, then I don't know what we're doing here!" Tenn let out a sigh, not wanting to think about the conversation yet again, but knowing that her brain wouldn't let her avoid it, now that it had gone down this path.

"It's just... there's still so much we haven't done, so much we haven't seen. I'm not ready to commit to anything." She had tried to reason with him.

"We've already seen and done more than most beings will get to in their entire lives." Negian had replied, exasperated.

Tenn hadn't fully realized until then just how differently the two of them had viewed their relationship. To her, it was something fun and comforting, knowing that Negian was always there when she needed a sympathetic ear, when she needed to vent. When she was feeling frustrated, it felt great to be around someone who thought she could do no wrong. But Negian had seen them as being on a road to marriage and family almost right from the beginning, and Tenn hadn't realized that nearly as soon as she should have.

She had slept with him WAY too soon, she could see now, only about one month after they'd gotten together. At the time, she'd seen enough to know that he wasn't just interested in her looks, but really cared about her, and if it was something they both wanted, then why deprive themselves? It sounded logical enough, but she had overlooked the fact that Negian had basically been in love with her for years already, and for him it was the culmination of five years of longing. When he had first brought up the subject of marriage three months later, he'd tried to act like it was no big deal, like he was just having fun speculating about their possible future.

It was only natural too, that an orphan would be eager to start a family of his own. But Tenn had seen firsthand how having a child too soon could ruin a formerly fulfilling relationship, in the example her parents had set. She didn't think they were anywhere near ready for that kind of responsibility. At least, she was sure that she wasn't. When she had told Negian as much, he'd done a convincing job of shrugging it off like it was no big deal. But she could tell that it was a big deal, deep down.

She should have broken things off at that point, she could see now. But aside from their differences in how seriously they took the relationship, things were great. Tenn doubted that there were many men in the galaxy who were both as strong and principled as Negian, while also, gentle, kind, and affectionate. He had the power and skill to reduce one of Coruscant's skyscrapers to rubble all by himself, yet he would never think of doing such a thing. He had a wonderful sense of humor, and could always cheer her up when she was feeling low. And in bed, boy, he REALLY tried. She could always count on having at least one orgasm when they got naked, and on a few occasions, they'd gotten that count up to five. But above all that, the way he utterly worshipped her, the way she was clearly the most important thing in his life, was addicting.

So she kept a lid on her doubts, waiting, and hoping, that she'd eventually feel the same way about him. But it never really happened. She cared about him, a lot. He was handsome, fun, and caring, a great boyfriend by any standard. But the unevenness in the intensity of their feelings, combined with their very different hopes for the future of the relationship, bothered her more and more as time went on. She also knew that the longer they stayed together, the more it would hurt him when they did break up. But she knew, deep down, that it was a matter of when, not if. He deserved to be with someone who wanted the same things he did, and the longer they stayed together, the harder it would be for him to find that someone. Tenn was not at all opposed to the idea that she might be that someone eventually, but she knew for sure that she wasn't right for him right now.

So finally, feeling she couldn't keep a lid on it anymore, she'd talked about all of this with Negian. Negian, for his part, had been picking up on this weird vibe for a while already, and had gone into the conversation already angry and defensive.

"This is not because of you, all right?" She'd tried to calm him. "These are my issues, and I need to be alone for a while to sort them out."

"Well it's obviously partly because of me! If I wasn't messing something up, you wouldn't want to break up. But if you explain what it is, maybe it's something we can work on."

"It's not something you should have to work on." She smiled sadly. "We just... want different things."

"Well that may be true, up to a point." He conceded. "But I want you in my life more than anything else."

"I know you think you do." Tenn sighed. "Heck, maybe that's really true. I'm not a relationship expert. But the way things are right now... It's not fair to either of us."

"Don't start telling me about what's fair!" His eyes narrowed as he started to realize he wasn't going to be able to talk her out of this. "There's very little in this life that IS fair. But when we got together... it finally felt like living in this imperfect world was worth it."

"I'm GLAD I make you feel that way." Tenn tried to focus on something positive. "I'm honored, in fact. You deserve to be with someone who feels the same way about you." The look that appeared on Negian's face at that instantly made her realize it was the worst thing she could have said.

"You coward." He growled. "You're just terrified of commitment because of what happened with your parents." Tenn felt a surge of anger welling up in her at that, but she reminded herself that he was lashing out because he was in a lot of pain right now. On top of that, he might not have been entirely wrong. "And if you really mean that, if you never actually felt that way about me... Then you are mentally ill on a level I can't even comprehend."

"It's not that black and white..." Tenn protested weakly. "I don't know what I want, in virtually any capacity."

"But you know that you don't want me." Negian pointed out. "Fantastic. I'm sorry I wasted two and a half years of my life on you, you ice-hearted schutta." With that, he stormed off. Tenn wanted to follow him, to try to calm him down, but she realized nothing she had to say would do any good.

'Did you really expect him to take that well?' She asked herself. How could he have? How could any man who really loved her?

To her dismay, her father also sided with Negian in this matter. When Tenn had explained the whole situation to him not long after, he'd simply said, "Well, you're more your mother's daughter than I thought you were." He'd said it as mildly as possible, trying not to sound judgmental, but it was clearly a criticism.

"So, you think I should stay with him, even as one-sided as things are?" She'd responded, disbelieving.

"I don't know if there is a RIGHT thing to do at this point." Alaric sighed. "But it sounds like you're basing your decision on what you're afraid of, and that's not the Jedi way."

"Don't..." Tenn held up her hands in a defensive posture. "Don't try to apply Jedi logic to this. Romance is the least logical thing in the galaxy."

"Well, from the perspective of someone who's tried to keep a healthy distance from this relationship, I don't think the issue is that the intensity of feeling is uneven. I think you're afraid to let yourself feel that strongly about him."

"What? Why would I be afraid of that?" Tenn frowned in confusion.

"Because it's a scary thing, knowing that so much of your happiness is tied up in another person. It means letting go of some of your independence, having some blind faith that you won't end up feeling more pain than you did when you were alone."

"Even if that's true, which I don't think it is, we want different things." Tenn tried to use the same reasoning she'd used with Negian, and it went about as well.

"Everyone wants different things. That's what makes them individuals." Alaric waved that argument aside. "You're just using that as an excuse because you're scared of how intense this has gotten. If you run away from this relationship now, you're going to spend the rest of your life doing it again whenever things get serious."

"I'm not running away!" Tenn shot back, a bit louder than she'd intended. "I'm doing the responsible thing, not leading him on anymore!"

Alaric put his hands on her shoulders now. "Tenn, I've spent the last decade and a half watching your mother bolt like a startled rycrit whenever she's in a relationship that starts to look long term, and you're about to start down that same path. Believe me, I don't take any satisfaction in saying this. You're my daughter, and I love you, but I just can't take your side on this one. I've been in that place Negian is in right now, more than once, and it is the worst feeling in the world. And in this case, it is completely karking unnecessary."

.

Looking back on it now, Tenn figured she shouldn't have been surprised that her father was on Negian's side in this case. He'd actually spent a lot more time raising Negian than he'd spent raising her, after all. She also figured it was probably best not to spend a whole lot of time analyzing the psychology behind that situation. She had spent a lot of time considering her father's arguments, and concluded that he was simply wrong. She wasn't just a clone of her mother, and she wasn't afraid of her own feelings. He was letting events from the past color his opinion of the present, that was all.

Tenn's mind snapped back to her present situation as a speeder with its lights off slowly pulled up at the entrance of the building she was currently perched on top of. That was a clear indication that this gang wasn't real bright; it was illegal not to have your lights on at night. Did the driver actually think the speeder wouldn't be seen if he kept the lights off? That was ridiculous, it simply wasn't that dark on Coruscant at night. Several men of various species emerged from an alley on the side of the building, then began quickly unloading boxes from the speeder. It seemed Tenn had caught them red-handed.

She charged to the edge of the roof and leaped into space. It was only ten stories down to the street level where the speeder was parked, hardly a difficult fall to break for someone with her skills. She could have simply used the Force to strengthen her muscles to the point where she wouldn't be injured when she landed, but doing that would put a rather large impact crater in the street, and the local police tended to frown on that. Instead, several well timed Force Pushes slowed her descent, with the added bonus of flattening the thugs unloading the speeder at the same time. If this was a misunderstanding and they were doing something perfectly innocent, she would apologize profusely, but she doubted that very much.

The driver of the speeder jumped out when he saw his comrades apparently collapse to the ground. That was fine with Tenn, since it reduced their likelihood of getting away quite a bit. "All right boys, I'm going to need to inspect those boxes." She announced. "Stay where you are." The three on the ground hurried to pull out a combination of blasters and vibro-knives even as they awkwardly lurched back to their feet. Tenn could have charged in and taken them all down before they could even get that far, but the lesson they were about to receive would be more effective if they were armed when it happened. "Seriously?" She asked with an exaggerated sigh. "Do you not understand what just happened to you? Do you not know what you're up against?"

The driver, a Devaronian with skin that was bright red even in the gloom of the dark street, was the one to reply. "I see a hotshot little Padawan with no backup. If you don't want to get hurt, little girl, you'd best leave now."

"And what makes you think I need backup?" Tenn asked as she surveyed her opposition. There was a human, a Twi'lek, and a Balosar. At least they didn't have any serious muscle like a Gamorrean or a Herglic, not that even those species would have been worrisome to someone who was used to sparring with a Gen'Dai Jedi Master.

"All right, drop this pest." The Devaronian gestured at her with irritation. The other three all fired their blasters, set to stun. Stun blasts were harder to dodge than a standard blaster bolt, at least in theory. However, by the time the thugs had actually pulled their triggers, Tenn was no longer there. These three broadcast their hostile intent into the Force so clearly, it was laughably easy to anticipate their actions. Using the Force to greatly increase her speed, she charged around behind them, then went to work. The only real challenge was moving fast enough to dodge their blaster bolts and clumsy knife thrusts, while counterattacking slowly enough to avoid causing serious injury. In just a few seconds, she had knocked all three down with a series of powerful kicks, while one of the hapless thugs had stunned the Devaronian driver with a stray blaster shot.

Tenn sensed more hostile intent coming from the dark alley the thugs had emerged from, and the green blade of her lightsaber sprang into being more than fast enough to parry the hail of blaster bolts headed in her direction. Tenn could easily have deflected the bolts right back at the beings who fired them, but she settled for scattering them off to the sides. She was here to arrest these guys, not kill them. Now two more humans came charging out of the alley, firing a blaster with each hand as they came, which was idiotic in several respects. For one, now that Tenn could see the barrels of the blasters, she could anticipate the path of the bolts more accurately. Second, the humans had removed themselves from the relative cover of the alley, meaning now Tenn could attack them from behind, which they had to know she could do, having seen what happened to their fellow thugs. But most stupid of all, by trying to wield a blaster in each hand, they were reducing their accuracy so much that Tenn didn't actually need to deflect most of the bolts. The vast majority just sailed right by.

Tenn calmly walked forward as they continued to fire, then with two fluid strikes of her lightsaber, she cut the barrels off all four blasters, without causing any injury to the gangsters who were trying to kill her. They responded to this generous restraint on her part by charging in swinging with bare fists, against an opponent armed with a lightsaber. Tenn couldn't help but wonder why, as she launched into a leaping backflip. How could they think they stood a chance against her, after seeing what she could do? Was it just a combination of anger and stubborn pride? Or did they think, because she was a woman, there was no way that she'd actually use her lightsaber on them? Well, they'd been right about that, she had to admit, at least in that initial instant.

Now the three thugs that were still armed, who she'd knocked down already, were getting back to their feet, taking a few shots with their own blasters as they did. With a sigh of irritation, Tenn charged in again, putting her lightsaber back on her belt, then quickly flooring all five thugs with a furious series of blows, hitting with a bit more force than the first time she'd knocked them down. She made sure to collect all their blasters, hissing a bit as she found out firsthand just how hot a blaster is right after it's been fired. She dumped the blasters into the driver's seat of the speeder, then finally moved to inspect the boxes they'd been unloading. Of course, they were mostly full of spice, but there were some death sticks thrown in for good measure too.

Tenn suddenly sensed more hostile intent heading her way, and lurched to the side in time to avoid the vibro-knife that had been meant for her right kidney. She spun around and delivered a roundhouse kick to the head of one of the human thugs, emitting a growl of irritation as she did. This kick hadn't been Force-powered, however, and the man was back on his feet a second later, preparing to lunge in again. Did he really not understand he was beaten? Was he really that blind to reality? Or was he mistaking her self-discipline and mercy for weakness? If that was the case, it was a typical male response. What the hell was the matter with men, anyway? Why couldn't they ever just open their minds and try to understand?!

Tenn was suddenly aware that her lightsaber was now humming in her hand again, casting a harsh green glow over the alley. She was very surprised to see the stubborn thug sprawled on the street, cleanly cut in two at the waist. It had to have been a lightsaber that did it, since there was no blood to be seen, aside from a bit oozing out of his mouth. Tenn was sure that she hadn't made a conscious decision to cut the man in half, yet there was no denying that it had happened. And with that realization, Tenn knew that her life would never be the same.

.

"If the Je'daii knew the truth of what you've done, all that you've been, all that you are... would they still accept you?"

"No. They wouldn't. I am not who they think I am-who I thought I was. I never was." - Predor Skal'nas and Xesh, Dawn of the Jedi

.

(Nanaki's note: Well, that was depressing. Let's talk about something else, which would be... Carrie Fisher dying. Good Lord, I hate reality sometimes. I don't think I'd call Carrie Fisher a great actress, but she was great for the role of Leia. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't think I've actually seen Carrie Fisher in a non-Star Wars movie anyway, so I'm not qualified to make that kind of judgment. I definitely enjoyed her work on Family Guy, and the episode of 30 Rock she was on was great as well. I'd just like to make a suggestion to Disney here: Don't just CGI her face onto another actress for Episode IX (I'm assuming she'd finished shooting her scenes for Episode VIII), actually recast the part. Yes, it worked fairly well for Tarkin in Rogue One, but Peter Cushing's face looked a lot like a special effect already. It didn't work nearly as well for that brief glimpse of Leia at the end.)