My Only Friend

by M. Sarah C

Naruto’s social life is as non-existent as his parents. When everyone you know thinks you’re a monster, it’s particularly hard to make friends. But Naruto does have one friend, whether he likes it or not… Naruto AT. (self harm, depressing/suicidal thoughts, suicide) **All the fun stuff!**

11. The Final Chapter (a goodbye)

Hey its me. M Sarah C.

Been a while right?

Yeah it has.

So you've heard this spill from me before, but its different this time. This time is the last time. Its time i finally explain. I hope you can forgive me for putting it off so long.

So.

This was a vent piece.

I'm not sure how many of you figured it out. But that's what it was. My Only Friend was a personification of my own thoughts and feelings. It was written when I was coming out of the worst spot of my life.

Don't get me wrong, I never cut myself, though I thought about doing it a lot. I would beat myself sometimes, but only once did it leave a bruise.

The personality and incredibly harsh, sadistic voice of Kurama was modeled after my own internal voice. Mean, sharp, and such dominating, demanding voice.

The feels of suicide were heavy on me during Middle School. I'd thought about doing it a lot, one night getting dangerously close to trying it.

The bitter, repittiveness, and overtly horrible feelings I had translated into my work.

I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry by the way, I'm just trying to explain the motivation behind this piece.

The reality of this story's existence is actually the mark of its downfall.

It was a vent.

The thing about feelings is, they fade.

I got help, like at the end of the story.

I got medication.

I saw someone.

The voice isn't gone but I can hear it less. I'm better at pushing it out.

I'm better at talking with people.

I'm better at expressing my emotions.

I got better.

I guess the reason I'm telling you all this is so you don't see a fanfiction anymore. You see me, my story.

Cuz it kinda is my story.

Its unpolished,

Its messy,

Its incoherent at times.

But it's my story.

And I hope it can inspire you.

Naruto and Shippuden were there for me. Naruto was and still is kinda my hero. A testiment to pushing through the hard times. That you can be happy no.matter your circumstances. To never give up.

I love the show and I love you all.

All throughout Act 1, everyone was so happy and positive. It validated my pain and made me feel worthwhile.

I'm not making more.

I can't. I don't have those same feelings or emotions or the need for this story.

I'm moving on to bigger and better things, even my own original comics.

I tamed my nine tailed fox.

I hope you can too.