"Sans?"
"hm?"
"When was the last time you slept?"
Sans chuckled nervously at the question. Silence had reigned over them for about twenty minutes and it was… weirdly comforting. While earlier it had been awkward, now it just seemed… normal.
"it's not like i don't sleep, i take naps when i can. i just… need to be ready."
"And, other than sleeping, how do you get energy? This has to be the dumbest question out of my mouth, but I really have no idea… do you eat?"
He blinked at the way she asked, before laughing. "yeah, i eat," he said, before a sort of rumbling escaped near his chest.
"The fuck?" Jewel blinked, glancing toward his torso. "You're… not hiding internal organs or anything under the shirt, are you?"
A light dusting was on his cheekbones from the growl, but her questions were actually a pretty welcome distraction from what they had been talking about. "nah. but, admittedly, it's… bee a while since i ate anything… that was… well… how to explain it…" he tried to think.
"Dude, just compare it to a growling stomach, that's what it sounds like," she said with a sigh. "That's what most humans do when they're really hungry, their stomach makes this weird… protesting sound that it's not getting enough food."
Sans blinked at how blunt she was, but chuckled a little, a lazy smile adorning his face. "heh, essentially that's what it is, by the sound of it. minus the stomach part."
"Dude, you sound horrible at taking care of yourself," she muttered as she moved her leg, too lazy to actually get up at the moment, kicking her bag toward her, so she could grab it. She pulled the bag onto her chest, giving Sans a perfect view into it as she opened up the smaller, but still large front pocket to reveal a bunch of different snacks in them.
"Go on, have something."
Sans blinked as he looked into the bag. He could feel his hunger getting to him. This was wrong on so many levels… He couldn't just take her food… to top it off… how did she suddenly start trying to take care of him?
"really, i'm—" he started, before the growling sound appeared again in his ribs. A fresh dusting of blue powdered his cheeks.
"Sans, c'mon. You took care of my wounds, it's my turn. If you don't pick something, I will shove something in your mouth."
He sighed, heavily, but relented. Nothing in the bag was familiar…
"what is all of this, anyway?"
"Well, you got different flavors of chips, some candy, a little bit of chocolate, some jerky…"
"wait, jerky?" Sans snickered. "what the hell is jerky?"
She blinked a little. "What, you guys don't have dried meats down here?"
"well, yeah, but… what kind of name is jerky?" he sniggered.
A simple shrug of her shoulders was her reply. "I didn't name it. But it tastes good. Very salty though."
Sans chuckled at her response, before relenting and just grabbing a bag of chips. He glanced down at the label. Sour cream and cheddar, huh? Guess he was going to try something new. He ripped open the bag and looked down at her.
"excuse me, but i do believe it's your turn for storytime," he reminded with a lazy grin.
"Oh, right," she realized with a soft sigh.
If it was possible, she leaned a bit more into the skeleton. He never once moved her and despite him being all bone, with her hoodie there acting as a pillow, it wasn't that uncomfortable, not like the cold tile… granted, it wasn't so cold anymore, with her having been laying there for a while.
"It's not nearly as dramatic as time-traveling child murderers or anything," she began with a sigh, "I'm just… depressed," she shrugged lazily. "Tired of fighting, tired of just… everything."
"there's got to be more than that," Sans gently pushed.
"I can't really just… point to one instance and say "this is why I want to die." It doesn't quite… work like that," she sighed, "I'm just…" She motioned to her black eye, which Sans had delicately worked around previously, "My dad gave me this. Just a stupid argument that meant absolutely nothing, but I was tired of his bullshit, so I stood my ground over nothing. Mom just sat back and watched as usual, either trying to pretend it wasn't going on or just tuned it out, I don't know. My little brother, well…"
"you have a little brother?" Sans chimed in, unable to help himself. He still hadn't even tried the chips yet, not wanting to distract from her.
"Yeah… he's about four years younger… practically raised him," she gave a weak chuckle. "Yet he treats me like dirt sometimes too… he's got this…" she sighed a little. "He's got autism and he can be the sweetest thing when he's not in a mood. All he wants to do is get approval from those around him. He's constantly showing off his skills, bragging about accomplishments. But he also gets angry and frustrated easily. He doesn't always show it in the healthiest ways… as a kid he would constantly bash his head in the wall… later on he started pounding his fists against his arm…" she sighed heavily. "Sometimes it's not just himself he takes it out on. He's hurt me too."
Sans was silent as the parallels to Papyrus played out in his mind. He supposed he was lucky his brother was too sweet to hurt anyone… "'m sure he didn't mean it," he couldn't help but defend her brother.
"I know… he's always really regretful afterward, but it's just… another thing, ya know? I love him with everything I have, and I'd die for him, but it's just… what good am I to him anymore? I can't do much of anything for him anymore… hell, he helps me more than I help him now… I can't…"
That sentiment hit him a lot harder than he thought it would. The chips were put down to the side as he looked down at the human who still rested her head in his lap. He could see the tears in her eyes and he knew what that sting in her soul felt like.
"hey… i'm… i'm gonna tell you something my brother told me… yours reminds me a lot of mine and i… well… he said… that no matter how old we get, no matter how successful either of us become… no matter what happens… he's always going to need me… because i'm his big brother… we're… family…"
Tears lined blackened sockets as he repeated the words Papyrus had spoken to him in a moment of despair… a point where he very much felt like she did now… a point where he was desperately close to being in again.
Jewel looked up at the skeleton. She could feel her own tears, she could see his… and despite the protesting of every portion of her body, she managed to sit up, with a lot of difficulty. Enough to where Sans was pulled from his thoughts for a moment, worrying over her. Still, as she sat there, she looked at the skeleton, tears still lining his eyes that showed concern for her…
Arms suddenly wrapped around him and Sans found himself frozen. The only one who randomly hugged him was Papyrus and he was… no one else was close enough to do this kind of thing. Sure, shoulder pats, arm touches, stuff like that was done, especially at Grillby's when they were all chummy after a few drinks. Maybe a drunken one arm drape around your bar buddy. But this? He didn't know how to process this.
Was it weird then, when she pulled back he felt cold? She was so much warmer than he was, for whatever reason, but they weren't touching that long for him to adjust to it, were they? He was a skeleton, temperature wasn't supposed to be a factor… He lived in Snowdin after all, he couldn't feel the cold sting of the snow, he couldn't feel the blistering heat of Hotland… so why the hell was he feeling cold when she pulled back?
"Sans?"
He snapped from his spiraling thoughts as he looked back up at the human in front of him. Her brow was furrowed, knitted together in concern. Great, did he space out?
"heh, sorry, guess i'm more tired than i thought…" he tried, averting his gaze from hers.
Jewel watched him for a moment before moving to lean against the wall again, still sitting next to him. "C'mon, eat the chips then," she encouraged him as she sat there. "I wanna make sure you eat something before you head home to sleep."
Home? He hadn't been home since… His hand rested against the red fabric of his brother's scarf. Being home hurt too much. Literally everything about Snowdin reminded him of Papyrus. Even just thinking about snow made him think about how his brother would stomp around, yelling at him for falling asleep at his station…
Though she obviously didn't know specifics, it wasn't too hard to figure out what was going through his mind. After all, depression was a language they both spoke pretty fluently, it seemed. He was able to read her pretty easily in some aspects, while she was able to read quite a bit about him through it too. Granted, she had never lost her brother as he had, but the thought had definitely crossed her mind more than she liked to admit. Things were not the greatest back home and it seemed that he was avoiding home as much as she would during times like that…
"You haven't been home, have you?"
"…no," he whispered softly.
"So… what, you do everything here?"
"…pretty much."
"Have you even eaten anything in the past month?"
A weak shrug was his response. Why was he even being honest with her right now? If anyone else asked, he would have blown them off with a joke… maybe it was because he felt she could see through it… or was he just too tired to keep up the façade anymore?
Jewel reached down and grabbed the chips and held them in front of his face, earning a surprised grunt from the skeleton.
"I will force these down your non-existent throat if you don't eat them."
"buddy, really, i'm okay, i'm not—"
"Bullshit," she called him out, "I'm guessing your brother was the one who always took care of meals and the like. What would he say if he knew you hadn't properly slept or eaten in a month, Sans?"
His voice caught in the back of his mouth. He couldn't manage to make even a sound at the accusation. He could hear Papyrus' ranting, see him stomping his foot, and his hands on his hips as he looked down at him with that scolding look. But once the anger passed, the concern would show. Papyrus would become quiet and ask him why… why he would do it, why he wouldn't talk to him about it…
Tears truly began to flow from the darkened sockets of the distraught skeleton. Whereas before, there were small pockets of tears in his eyes, nothing truly fell. Now, however… there was nothing he could do to hold them back. He had been hiding from his reality for so long…
Once again, he felt arms wrap around him. However, this time, it felt different. The first time, it was fast, a tight embrace. Now it was… softer. Her arms wrapped around him delicately, as if holding him together… He felt her hand on his back and he almost fought against her. No, he was fine!
"SANS, WHY WON'T YOU LET ME HELP YOU?"
"…papyrus?" he gasped.
"Sans?"
He pulled back and looked up at the human who had been trying to offer him some comfort… something he had been denying himself for months. It wasn't as if he was alone… Asgore, Alphys, a lot of the monsters that were left had come to check on him… he just pushed them all away. Jewel was a different scenario, however… he pulled her into this mess, this was his fault… and she had given up where he was trying to find something to hold onto… something that…
"Sans, you need to take care of yourself," she scolded with a soft tone. "I'm hardly in any real position to talk, but for your brother, you need to focus on you."
His hands gripped her arms as he began to tremble violently. His breathing hitched as reality started to crash down on him. "…they're… not resetting… are they?" he asked her, but he knew the answer.
Frisk had never gone this long without resetting. Something happened this time… He had truly won… but he didn't want to. He never wanted to..!
"paps… he's… he's really gone..?"
So many times he had lost his brother only to get him back, it never truly sank in until that moment… he was never going to see Papyrus again… never taste his pasta, never hear him scream at him when he made a pun…
He could feel Jewel move, and this time, he latched onto her. He had no one right now, and she had shown some basic kindness, trying to take care of him, hugging him despite him pushing away… and being a stranger, it was somehow… easier to break down in front of her. There were no preconceived notions about him that he had to worry about breaking.
Sans had buried his face into her shirt, his head against her shoulder as he sobbed. His bones rattled with each deep breath, each cry muffled. And there was nothing she could do for him. Nothing that would truly help. All she could do was let him know that he wasn't alone. Her arms were around him, holding his delicate frame… it wasn't anything like holding a human. His height wasn't even an issue for her, her best friend was his height after all. But as a skeleton, he had no waist, not in the normal sense. After his ribcage there was… nothing but spine until the pelvic bone, so that was all she had to hold, was his shoulders and chest… which was significantly smaller than most would assume. He wore such baggy clothes it was almost startling to feel how thin his arms really were under them.
His arms would move from their position. Instead of grabbing her arms with his hands, they wrapped around her and squeezed, as if that was the only way to get his agony out. She was silent, but her face showed how painful that truly was. She gritted her teeth as she bore it, letting him do what he needed. She was going to feel this tomorrow… She still supported most of her weight against the wall, but she leaned down to hug the skeleton, and in doing so, her head did rest against his skull. She was feeling the fatigue, but she was trying to not fall asleep on him like this. She would talk to him, but… what could she say right now?
Somehow, she was able to hold off and not be the first to pass out from fatigue. It had taken hours, probably, and no doubt she probably drifted a couple of times, but Sans had cried himself out. She didn't blame the skeleton. There was more going on than she knew, but it was not the time to ask.
She took her hoodie and draped it over the skeleton, trying to give him some form of comfort. Because she knew she wasn't going to be able to stay awake, and in her sleep, she would probably let him go. Not that she had experience in this regard…
Finally, after fighting her fatigue for hours, Jewel finally succumbed.
The morning would pass, a king coming to check on his judge, only to find him cuddled up to their new human guest. She was pinned against the wall, her back against it, her head at an angle between her shoulder and the floor. Her arm draped around Sans as his arm wrapped around her loosely. His head was resting against her shoulder, face buried in the fabric as what the king guessed was an article of her clothing draped over him. He was unsure what had happened the night before, but Asgore had to admit he was grateful to find Sans finally asleep. Normally he found him awake or jolting out of a nap. This was the first time he had gotten this close without the skeleton awakening. He would have to have food prepared for them, eventually. But this made this difficult. If Sans' plan, whatever it was, did not come to fruition… would taking her soul even be possible should Sans protest? That was not a fight he wanted to partake in.
The king would leave the two to slumber. The shadows cast in the Judgement Hall would change as the day continued to progress, neither waking… Until early evening. The sun was brightest in the Hall at this point, having just gotten to the point it was directly in line with the gaping hole in the mountain. Sans stirred at the light hitting his sockets, burying his face more into the fabric he found himself curled into.
It would take him a few moments to remember where he was, what had happened the day before. As Sans pulled back, blue dusted his cheeks as he realized he had fallen asleep after crying himself out against her. His arm was still around her, while the other had curled up under him to hold onto her shirt. He noticed her hoodie draped over him as a sort of blanket… it was large enough to almost qualify. It was too big for even her.
He sat up and rubbed his sockets. They felt tight from all the crying… and he felt like he was about to start again. Papyrus was really gone… If had known, he would never have fought back… What was the point? Getting to the surface meant nothing without Papyrus… but neither did living in the Underground… nothing was worth anything without his brother by his side…
He felt a hand slide over his own. Darkened sockets looked over at the human beside him, but he didn't quite see her. He was still hazy from the fatigue and tears. He had made a fool of himself, didn't he? He literally clung to her and broke down. What did she think of him, he wondered? The monster who threw her through a window forced her into entrapment and then broke down crying in front of her…
"Sans," he heard. Her voice sounded so… heavy and miserable. He started blinking his eyes clear, rubbing them with his other hand, trying to get them to focus. "How ya feelin'? Ya…" he heard a soft groan, "doin'… alright?"
"'m fine," he muttered, lying through his teeth as usual. His own voice sounded so rough… "what about you? ya don't sound too good…" He leaned in a little, getting a slightly better look at her as his eyes began to focus. "oh shit… buddy, ya don't look too good either…"
His vision was still blurred, but he could see enough. She was significantly paler than he remembered from the night before. Did she lose more blood? He put his hand on her shoulder blade to try and roll her forward a little, to see if her back was bleeding from the odd position they wound up in…
"AAAaaeeehh!"
Sans jolted back at the seething-like cry that came from her. It was almost sobering, his vision cleared a bit more at his startle, adrenaline pumping. He finally saw the pained expression on her face, tears lining her eyes. How long had she been wearing that expression?
"c-come on, buddy, this… wh-what's wrong?" Why was he frantic? Was this because of him? Was this because of what he did to her? His hand began to shake as it hovered. He wanted to help, but a night's worth of sleep wasn't going to give him enough magic, not with how low his skill was.
Despite the pain she was in, she grabbed his shaking hand. Her breathing seemed to spike, deliberate breaths…
"I need you to help me sit up," she pleaded.
"but you literally just screamed when i touched you," he protested.
"I know, but if I don't sit up, it's only going to get worse. I need to straighten out and I can't move on my own. Please…"
Sans hesitated, he didn't know if he could do this. "m-maybe magic would be easier," he suggested. If he grabbed her soul, he couldn't hurt her by touch…
"T-that thing you did to grab me before?" she asked. "That… kinda makes a ragdoll effect, doesn't it? I-I can't, that'd… I-I need to keep my back straight as possible. Sans, please…"
The amount of pain and desperation in her voice was sending waves of anxiety through him. What had he done to her? She wasn't like this yesterday! But she needed to get up… Swallowing whatever hesitation he had, he went over, grabbing both of her shoulders gently.
"okay… on three?"
With a slight nod, very faint, he got down on his knees, readying himself. Her arm went onto his, to support herself as she got up
"one… two… three!"
She had a silent scream, a slight but broken high pitch escaping her every so often as she exhaled. It was almost worse than what she had before… but as she moved, he could hear the multiple pops escaping parts of her body. It was like popcorn popping rapidly and it made him nauseous to hear. Despite it all, he did what he could to keep her back as straight as he could as he lifted her. She tried to help, but she really couldn't move too much. He got her sitting up against the wall and once she was up, she panted heavily, tears streaming down her face. Sans couldn't help but look down at where she was laying, looking for blood, but there was none.
"i'm going to get help," he quickly said, "w-we got a human expert, she's our doctor! sort of! b-but she should have something," he frantically explained, but before he could teleport to find Alphys, she grabbed his arm.
"Don't… it's not… it's not going to do anything," she said, breathless, her voice cracking as she spoke.
"no, alphys is the best, she's got something, i just—"
"Sans," she said, clearly, forcing it out, which made him look back at her. "No one can help me. Humans don't know how to help me."
"what are you…. what are you saying?" He noticed she was only using her left arm, her right wasn't really moving and seemed to kind just hang there. It was strange, her hand had a faint blue webbing pattern on it… He had definitely never seen that before. "what's wrong with your hand?"
She sighed a little, motioning for him to sit down. He hesitated, but he slowly did, in front of her, not quite relaxing. He felt like Alphys could do something… their medicine was different than humans, maybe… whatever this was…
"It's a medical condition, Sans," Jewel explained, her voice tight. The pain from just sitting there was more than it should, but it wasn't as bad as laying on the ground like she was… She tried to hide just how much pain she was truly in. "It's… well…" she sighed a little.
"i can't help you if you don't tell me."
"Sans," she sighed, "you can't. It's a chronic pain condition. It's not even treatable, it's manageable, at best. Doctors don't even know for sure what's causing it."
"so, you're… just in pain like this… all the time?"
"It's not… always this bad," she admitted with a wince. "This is… a particularly bad flare-up. My lifestyle for the past few weeks hasn't made my condition easy…"
"i don't… pain is the body's response to danger, to let you know that something harmful… how are you just… in pain without a cause?"
"Dude, the fuck do I know? I just have to live with it, I don't know the answers!" Sans looked a little taken aback by her outburst and guilt started eating at her. "Sorry… that was uncalled for…"
"was this what you meant?" he asked, looking at her, "when you said you were tired of the pain, of fighting? it wasn't metaphorical was it?"
"Not completely…" she sighed. "There's a lot going on, Sans. But, really, would you have the will to keep going when there's no hope of getting better?"
"how do you think i feel with the resets?" Sans countered, "do you know how many times i've lived through all of this? this is the first time…" He began to shake. He won at the cost of his brother…
"Sans… I'm sorry…"
"forget it. if you're that damn determined to die, why don't I go get asgore now?" he barked at her.
"Dude, you really think I care? You were the one who told him there was a way I could help!"
As the two narrowed their eyes at one another, a meek clearing of a throat caught both of their attentions. Sans turned around, while Jewel just moved her gaze, unable to do much else. Standing there was a small yellow dinosaur in a lab coat. Glasses adorned their face, not falling despite the lack of arms or attachments to the head. They had three buck-teeth protruding from the upper jaw and seemed to fidget, index fingers poking together.
"al, what are you doing here?" Sans spoke up.
"K-King A-Asgore asked m-me to come m-meet with you. H-He said s-s-s-something about a p-project…"
Sans' eyes narrowed. Did Asgore catch them asleep, he wondered? It did look bad, even he knew that but… to pull Alphys in already?
"well, can't do much," he dodged, hands in his pockets as he stood back up. "our key factor is unable to move."
His tone was harsher than it should be, Alphys noted, but she also noted that small amount of concern in his voice. Was he trying to hide it? He seemed agitated, best not to ask. After all, if there was something wrong with the new human, as a doctor, it was her duty to see to the patient.
"O-oh d-dear," she said as she carefully approached, but she got near Sans. "S-she's not… d-dangerous, is she?" she whispered.
"not a clue," Sans retorted. "she's too depressed to attack us, she's been willing to let asgore take her soul… who knows what she'll do if provoked though…"
"I can hear you, ya know."
Both monsters froze and looked back at Jewel, who just sat there, looking a little bored. "Ya should probably know the more in pain I am, the more astute my senses get to predict incoming threats, so I can… ya know, avoid them?" Her head moved a little, tilting to the side and she tensed up, a seething hiss escaping her as parts of her started to shake.
Alphys almost felt guilty for talking so brazenly about the dangers she posed. This woman was in clear pain. "What's causing the pain? Is there an injury?"
"few of those," Sans muttered a bit. "but they're not causing it. something about a medical condition. she's pretty damn adamant there's nothing that can be done about it," he bit a little.
"Well, painkillers don't work, nothing any of my doctors have tried even puts a dent in it!" Jewel bit back.
Alphys flinched a little at their hostility to one another. This wasn't what she expected… "W-well…" she spoke up, trying to get between the two without getting caught in the crossfire. "W-what do you n-n-normally do? I-in an e-episode?" she asked.
"Depends on the kind, I suppose," Jewel tried to think. "Normally when I get like this, I just… have to remain straight and I use a heated blanket to try and loosen the muscles so I can get up and get an ice pack… or five."
Alphys blinked a little and went a little closer to her. "S-so, it's… muscular?" she asked.
"Docs actually think it's due to the nerves going crazy. There's this theory that either there's an electrical current issue, or my immune system is attacking the nerve endings. I kinda believe the second, because I got these numb patches on my body, or parts just start going numb after a little pressure. Either way, it still triggers the muscles to swell up and tense."
"So you t-t-treat it l-like a s-strained muscle?"
"Sort of. Heat actually makes the problem worse if I don't reduce the swelling first, but when I'm frozen in bed, there's not much I can do except turn on the blanket."
They didn't have anything that could really cool her body like that… however… Alphys glanced back at Sans, and he tensed, knowing where this was going.
"no," he cut her off.
"S-Sans, b-be reasonable."
"i'm not going back there, let alone with… her," he glanced back at the human just sitting there.
"You d-don't have t-to go b-back to t-town, just… somewhere in the forest, so the s-snow can do it's j-job."
Eye sockets narrowed at the small dinosaur before the fight left his frame. He simply walked back over to Jewel, eyeing her a little. "i have to touch you."
"Just don't squeeze or apply pressure," she replied. Unlike him, she had no fight. She was in too much pain to care any longer.
His gaze softened just a bit at the lack of resistance, just her plea to not make her pain worse. It caused him to hesitate a moment before he gently placed a hand on her shoulder before they teleported to Snowdin Forest. He backed up once they were there. He had her put near a rock wall, letting her continue to lean. Instantly, he could see her breath and the initial shiver from the drastic temperature change.
Silence reigned over them as neither were quite in the mood to talk. Sans just stood there, as if keeping guard in the too-quiet forest. His foot began to bounce against the rock he too decided to lean against. He didn't quite want to nap… this would be perfect… but he was too on edge. After all, he was near home… Papyrus' home… and near where Papyrus died. He held the scarf around his neck, his frame starting to shake not from the cold, but from emotion he was trying to suppress.
It had neared an hour since they had arrived. Sans could hear her shivering yet she had not made any other sounds. She wasn't dressed for this weather, but the fact she was still shivering he supposed was good… He kept an eye on her. She wasn't turning blue, though her ears and face were red, as were her fingers. He should probably end this, Alphys had to be wondering where they were. She was probably trying to turn this into a suicidal thing, not say anything and hope he'd let her freeze to death.
"I'm sorry."
Sans blinked and looked to the human, who hadn't really moved. She was even starting to gather some snow on her shoulders, just a little.
"what?"
"I'm sorry… for snapping before. I just…" she closed her eyes. "It's not an excuse, but I… well, I'm just… tired of people acting like my condition isn't real just because they can't make sense of it."
Sans stared at her for a moment, brow furrowing. "is that what you thought?" He got off the stone and looked down at her. "it doesn't make logical sense, no, but obviously it still hurts. i was just trying to make sense in my head, i wasn't trying to belittle what you're going through. do people really do that to you?"
"My dad mostly. He likes to tell me I'm making shit up. Others think I'm overreacting to the pain. Then there are the people that do believe me but treat me like I'm made of glass. I don't know if that's worse… like, I have to move to keep myself from locking up, but I can't do too much either without a flare either. It's…"
"you can't escape it either way, huh?" Sans sighed.
"Mhm," Jewel sighed a little, before glancing back at him. "You know… I wasn't insinuating anything either… right?"
Sans scoffed a little. "buddy, i told you more than i should have, yet you think you have it worse? i can't imagine the kind of pain you're in but—"
"Sans, I wasn't trying to compare us! I know you've been through some fucking time-travel torture and I can't even imagine what it must be like. But metaphorically being stuck isn't like…" she groaned a little. "Never mind… but I wasn't… trying to compare us. Comparing reasons to be depressed is like two fires competing to see who can burn hotter. They either destroy everything around them or burn each other out."
Sans almost protested. What about all of this made him want to lash out at her? She hadn't even done anything. Was she just the easiest? He could hear Papyrus…
"SANS, QUIT BEING RUDE TO THE HUMAN! SHE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING TO DESERVE IT!"
He grabbed the scarf around his neck. Was it because her showing up made him realize that he had really lost Papyrus? She wasn't involved, she hadn't made him do anything. It was just… because she said the right things that his mind finally had no way to justify the denial he had been living in. Was it because he broke down and cried to her that he didn't want to be around her any further? It wasn't his fault she was hurting, she had a condition, his conscious was clear… but he was still the reason she was trapped here. The reason she had cuts and gashes on her… and that couldn't have helped her condition at all.
"Sans?"
He jolted a little as she spoke again, pulled from his thoughts. He hadn't realized his hand was trembling as he clenched the scarf. "what?"
"What was… your line of thinking when you told the king you had an idea? You told him you needed my cooperation…"
A sigh passed his teeth, eyes closed. "i have no clue. i was just… trying to stall for time. but the logic's there, i guess… a human did all of this, maybe one could undo it."
"You mean… the resets, right?"
"well… yeah, but you can't."
"Probably not, but I have no clue about any of this, you're kind of the expert on it."
"i don't even fully know how the kid did it. i just know they could. but what i do know is that it requires determination, and you… don't take this the wrong way, but…"
"Ha, no. Determination is the last thing I'd used to describe myself. I can't even be determined when trying to die."
Sans sighed, groaning a little. "can you stop with that?"
"You know it's not gonna stop just because I stop talking about it," she muttered a little. "Just not giving you false hope. Not… giving myself false hope. I'm gonna die, that's the whole thing, Sans. I'm gonna lose my soul, that's how it's gonna go."
Guilt suddenly filled his soul. She… "you don't want to..?"
"I don't… know anymore…" she muttered softly. "I'm just… numb right now… no strong feelings one way or another. But my reality is what it is now… and I…" She glanced back up at him, her head actually moving a bit. "I want to help. I don't know how I can, but I want to at least try."
Sans looked down at her, his soul twisting in his ribs. He let out a soft sigh and he walked over, gently offering her a hand. "all right, buddy. i'll… start thinking more. but we need to get you better first before you can do anything."
She offered him a small smile before reaching up and taking his hand. "Okay."