Selfishness
It had seemed harmless at first. A small mercy. Hardly mattering if they shared a small smile, a quick look that caught the eye and ended with a blush, a little friendly conversation. There was no indecency in that. In fact, for a while, Mary encouraged it.
She had liked the way he held her as they danced across the varying landscapes, the way he would say the sun shone for her alone, and the lopsided smiles he often gave, nervous and ecstatic all at once.
Mary never wanted him to stop, never wanted to hear him utter another woman's name. She wanted it to be only the two of them. Yet, when he suggested just that, she told him she couldn't possibly. She had a duty, didn't he know? It was unseemly that he should even mention it when she was held to a higher calling.
Maintaining her haughtiness, feigning ignorance, her horror at the suggestion that she had aided his fancy only caused him more confusion. He told her he should never mention it again. Leaving, he would not look at her and it wasn't until he had left her sight that she realised what she had done. No harm done, she had thought, but that wasn't true. She had done him the most harm of all.