Chapter 4: Time with the Mini-Me

Donatello (2003)'s Lab: Donnie and Purple

As the two purple clad terrapins worked, Donnie couldn't help but notice his younger counterpart kept glancing at the door, almost expectantly.

"What's wrong?" He asked, voice gentle and smile soothing. "You look a bit put out, if you don't mind me saying."

"Uh…" Purple smiled his cute gap-toothed grin. "I'm used to Mikey coming in and bugging me. Begging me to play with him or show him my latest invention. I'm not used to him being occupied."

His smile turned slightly sheepish as the other laughed kindly and they both exchanged slight smiles.

"Yeah, little brothers tend to do that." Donnie agreed. "Make sure we eat, have our daily dose of social interaction and brotherly annoyance."

"Let's not forget," The smaller turtle suddenly held up a finger, grinning.

"Coffee!" They both finished the statement with a hearty laugh.

They worked another few minutes in silence before Donnie chose his next words carefully.

"So, what's really on your mind?" He spoke in a nonchalant voice as he got back to his main topic.

"Honestly...what if I mess up again?" Red-brown eyes glanced down, insecurity all in his eyes. "I couldn't stop the portal before. What makes now any different?"

"You were close but a certain hotheaded brother stabbed it correct?" Donnie cut him off as the other looked up at him.

"Well...yes…"

"Meaning, you would have finished." A wide eyed look as the older terrapin smiled. "Besides, your brothers don't blame you."

"How do you know?"

"Because I used to think the same thing." He paused as memories flashed in his eyes. "But brothers only blame when it comes to who broke sensei's teacup or whose chore it was.

Both of the sea reptiles chuckled before looking back at the tech in front of them, borderline insane glints in their eyes.

"So," The both grinned. "Let's get this thing started."

Rooftops: Raph and Red

"So tell me," Raph started, amber eyes scanning the alleyways for any of the Foot, Purple Dragons or even a common crook. "What peeves ya more than Mikey?"

"Fearless' obsession with stupid Space Heroes." A snort as the other groaned.

"Space Heroes?" snickered Raph. "Leo hasn't watched dat in years!"

Red chuckled back as if amused by both their brothers' issues with the show. As they jumped another rooftop. The taller turtle scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck gruffly. "So, tell me what really botherin' ya?"

They stopped on the roof as the smaller turtle looked down, Raph watched acid green shift to the floor quickly as Red huffed quietly. "I couldn't protect them."

Raph leaned against the wall as Red huffed again, this time more aggressively as if trying to reign his anger in on himself instead of the older turtle. "Donnie was panicking and I was barely able to keep the Kraangdroids off him; Mikey was downed, my little brother should never be THAT still. Leo was barely keeping it together and I messed everything up by getting us sent here."

His stiffened and eyes shiny with tears looked up when Raph clamped a hand onto his shoulder in a comforting sort of way. "No matta what happens da only thin' dey'll blame on ya fer is when Mikey gets one too many bruises from ya."

They both chuckled menacingly as the thought. "Now, teach me dat 'Does Mikey bend dis way?' game."

The Dojo: Leo and Blue

As they sat in Lotus Position, drinking tea Leo couldn't help but notice that his younger self had been acting differently ever since their conversation earlier when he mentioned the youngest of the Hamato Clan.

"So, Leo…" He paused to take a sip of his tea as deep blue eyes turned to look at him, insightful beyond his age and inquisitive for more knowledge. "Tell me about your brothers."

A light seemed to spark in the youngsters eyes, a spark only little brothers seemed to be able to bring to one's life.

"Raph's a hothead at times, not too often ever since The Invasion and the Snakeweed incident." A raised eyeridge. "Long story. You'd get the best version from Mikey."

They both chuckled; their youngest brothers were such handfuls.

"And even if he wasn't a hothead, he's our protector. He's got my shell when we team up. And in the times I'm not there, he's got Donnie and Mikey's backs, thank Kami." He smiled nervously. "Don't get me wrong. They can all handle their own in a fight, it's just...Donnie cracks under pressure and Mikey's...well Mikey."

Leo nodded sagely; he knew all too well of Donnie's panic spurges and Mikey's flightlyness- both physically and mentally-.

"Donnie is a constant; I can always count on him when I need clarifying of anything." Blue continued. "Not always physically like Raph but mentally. He always has these moments where he has to reassure me, even if he's close to panicking. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't need me…same for Raph."

Leo felt sadness and understanding fill his stomach. He knew that feeling all too well; your younger brothers growing up, right underneath your nose.

"They're both so...independent and our opinions often clash horribly." Blue shook his head, eyes closing in sadness. "I feel like I'm losing them but then I remember what sensei used to tell us growing up...Anata wa hitori janai yo. You're not alone."

Leo smiled as he felt the warmth of those words wash over him like a river. That sounded just like Master Splinter, knowing just what to say in any situation.

"And of young Michelangelo?" The taller terrapin expected annoyance. Amusement. Exasperation. But not the jealousy Blue showed in that moment.

"Mikey is...so many things to me." Blue started taking a deep breath. "My baby brother; the youngest of our clan all around; someone I need to constantly watch, he once told me he'd follow anywhere; the wild card...but…"

Leo expected most of these answers but Blue's last one through him for a loop.

"He's also my biggest source of jealousy." The younger turtle tilted his head lower as if he'd revealed his biggest shame.

"Your biggest source of jealousy?" parroted Leo, eyes narrowing as he tried to remember if he'd ever had any of these feelings. "What do you mean?"

"When we were little, he was just so quick to learn the katas...and he was always and still is the fastest of us." A deep breath. "When we first started training, I could never keep up or lead like I do now...I was always in his shadow."

Leo closed his eyes; he remembered that. The feeling of being overshadowed by the youngest who had the most natural, raw talent. The way he got everything right on the first go; the way Mikey seemed to get it. The orange turtle used to brush off the praise Raph and Donnie used to give him but when those wide baby blue eyes looked to him, he felt a stab of guilt now that he thought of it.

Those eyes asked for praise, acknowledgement. Something Leo never gave him, and now only gives him far and inbetween.

"And then one day...he just got a lot worse." Blue paused seemingly unsure. "He had to redo katas, to pay attention more, to sit still more. He often said he didn't understand and needed things to be repeated to him. At the time I didn't care and was just happy sensei was praising me more and I felt like my wish was finally granted. I didn't have anyones shadow over me anymore. I've never told anyone, I think you'll know exactly what I'm talking about, when I was little I wanted him to stop being good at everything; I wanted him to feel inadequate like I do and I regret it now."

Leo waited for the smaller terrapin to continue but when he didn't the older turtle thought for a minute. This was something that the other needed off his chest, Leo knew because he still hasn't gotten it off his chest. Something he couldn't just tell Master Splinter or the others.

Something only he, himself could understand.

"I regret it so much," Blue started once more. "He held back because of me and now no one takes him seriously, not even himself."

"Did you ever tell him to stop?" questioned Leo, dark brown orbs searching ocean colored ones.

"Uh, well...no," The other floundered for a bit. "But I-"

Leo raised a hand silently, causing Blue to stop face pulled into a look saying he wasn't ready to stop talking yet but relented because of discipline.

"Then you did nothing wrong." He smiled sympathetically. "I understand where you're coming from, I really do. But, my Michelangelo slacks by choice. He'd rather mess with Raph, play video games, cook, read comics, go skateboarding or even play with his cat than train. He once skipped a whole month of training. Simply by choice. We can't control what our younger brothers do but-"

"We can be there to watch over them and take care of them right, Leonardo-san?" A small chuckle from the smaller leader.

"Exactly," He stood with a deep breath. "Now, how about those Kata's?"

"Onegaimasu." And with a bow they began their exercises.

Kitchen: Mikey and Baby Orange

"So, little dude," Mikey started after a moment of looking through the fridge. "You know how to cook?"

"Like a turtle do! My big bro's aren't even aloud in the kitchen; they messed it up so badly that I banned all of them! Besides, Leo and the toaster have some sort of beef going on, for real." The two broke into fits of giggles at the thoughts of their older brother's trying to cook. "So, what did you really wanna ask me?"

The seagreen turtle paused in the process of pulling ingredients and utilities out as he shot a look at his freckled counterpart who continued to prep what was pulled out, seemingly already knowing what they were going to be making.

"...Do you feel like I do?" The words were soft spoken and insecure when they hit the air, the childish tone gone, replaced with something more fragile. "Do you...understand and hear things that Master Splinter doesn't, even when they aren't spoken?"

"...Yeah, drive me mad." A shudder ran through a small body. "'Specially since Sensei can't even seem to feel it or even April with all her abilities. Their fear, their insecurities...their anger."

"Do you hold back during training?" A pause in movement.

"Their jealousy is too much…" Tears prickling baby blues and sky blue eyes. "The anger and jealousy that the youngest can do what they can't yet."

"It hurts, but if we don't…"

"No one will." A shaky breath. "They'll self-destruct."

"I can handle the criticism. I can handle the pain of being the butt of the joke." Mikey felt his knees tremble but the emotion in the room was gathering. "I can handle it as long as everyone else is happy."

Finally, Mikey couldn't hold it anymore and his legs crumbled from underneath him; from the corner of his eye, he saw Baby Orange do the same, both of their eyes filling with tears as they tried to reign it all in.

"It hurts…" A squeaky sob.

"It's too much…" Trembling hands clutching a throbbing head.

"They don't always care! I feel they don't!" A shudder. "They think we deserve it!"

"They don't know!" Long bright orange bandana tails flying back and forth in denial.

"They'd feel more guilty and upset if they did know!" A horse cry, barely held back behind a light trembling hand.

Identical eyes locked as they began to collect themselves. Nobody would ever know, they would shoulder this burden as the heart and light of their respective clans. The family's pain was linked to them somehow, they would keep it a secret for as long as they could.

Silently, they started on dinner.

Routine. Normalcy.

Splinter watched the exchange in awed shock, mouth slightly open. He never knew his youngest was suffering so. And if not for their guests, he'd probably never known thanks to Michelangelo's acting abilities.

'Things will get better my children,' He mentally swore. 'I'll make sure of it.'