I realized I've had two more chapters up on my AO3 account that I never published here. So sorry!

Hank was all hot air, I realized. I'd drive his drunk ass home and drop him inside then get to cleaning up. He'd yell and curse at me before absorbing more alcohol into his blood and forget what he was griping about.

He took me up on an offer a couple times to check on Sumo during the day while he was at work and prior to my own shift. The spare key under a loose stone granted me entry to the man's rancid hideaway.

It had taken me quite a bit of convincing to be allowed this permission; it was only when I started yelling that Sumo needed to watch his diet, that Hank obliged.

" Fine. Jesus, if you gets you off my balls, he could use the attention."

I had the night off one Friday in mid-September and remained at his house to finalize a deep clean of the kitchen and bathroom before running the half-rusted mower over his lawn. Sumo kept me quiet company in and out of the house until his dad returned to witness me sitting on the floor with his dining table upturned so I could tighten the bolts.

"The hell did you do to my house? Like a fucking Hilton. You didn't have to do all that, Alex. What're you doing down there?"

I relayed to him my accomplishments of the day before upending the table back into position. No more wobble.

"Sorry, I know I went a little nuts. You just... you had a lot that needed done."

He eyed me up, probably not sure what to make of or say to this intruder. I stayed in the kitchen, putting back everything that had been on the table prior as he made his rounds.

"So what, you're my maid now? Am I supposed to pay you?"

"I mean, I won't say no," I chuckled. "I'll get going, though." I rounded the table to his opposite side and grabbed my coat where I had flung it across his sofa.

"Hey," he said. "Hold the fuck up. It's pizza night. Best I can offer you in exchange for fucking up my house."

"Are you sure you still want me around? God forbid I might take out the trash when we're done. Then what're you going to do? Let me eat your Oreos?"

"I'll consider it," he said flatly. "You staying or what?"

"Yeah, sure, I could go for that. Thanks."

Hank. Being nice. It was like a fucking miracle.

I made myself comfortable on his sofa, Sumo coming over to investigate before situating himself sprawled next to me, his giant head in my lap.

Hank called to place the order and then joined in his recliner, eyeing Sumo and I up, amused at these arrangements. "Never seen him like that with anyone so quick before."

"You have a lot of guests, Hank?"

"Nah," he said. He took a sip of his beer, still observing this phenomenon in his home.

"I wish you'd take a break," I said.

"Hey, it's bad enough you come in here and make this place look like fucking Cinderella's castle. You met your domestic quota for the next few months. Thanks but no thanks, Alex."

"Sure you don't want me to braid your hair next? Get you some fucking clips? Okay, you're right; I'd feel better if you didn't do it alone, that's all."

"You want one?"

"Sure."

He pushed himself back up with a grunt, returning with a tap to my shoulder. I grabbed the bottle with a nod of thanks, continuing to scratch Sumo's ears idly as I drank.

"And you tell me I'm the one with the problem," Hank noted. "Just gave that to you and it's half gone. You don't swallow or what?"

I nearly sputtered in laugher. No need to spurt beer over his flooring. Though my next task was to wax and steam clean….

"That's what she said," I muttered into the mouth of the bottle.

Hank paused and raised an eyebrow at me. "That's one I haven't heard for a long time."

"Yeah, well, not to make you feel old , but it still comes up every once in a while with my folks. I basically grew up on old reruns of The Office . Kind of a staple as a kid."

"Huh..."

"I can't even tell you the last time I had a beer," I said. "I dunno, being around it all day and seeing folks drink all day, kinda loses the appeal after a while."

"You're doing it now."

"Yeah, well, like I've said, I'd rather you not do it alone. Which is my excuse to drink more than you so you've got nothing left for yourself."

"Great… well what's your drink of choice so you don't fuckin' guzzle my entire case?"

"Rum and coke."

"Don't have any of that. Next time."

I didn't dwell too much on that statement, Next time .

We half-assed watching the news for a bit until the food arrived shortly after. Sumo was kind enough to relinquish my legs so I could grab the delivery and set up on the kitchen table.

"Don't make me get up. Just bring it over."

"Oh my God, fine!"

"Hey, I'm doing us a favor. No dishes."

I settled myself on the floor to lean against the sofa while we ate in silence, the news talking about something or other with Russia and the Arctic and Thirium.

"You know what's weird, Hank?"

"That you won't shut the fuck up?"

"Hah. Hah. I remember when I was little having to tip the pizza delivery guy. Now it's…" I trailed off. Fucked up .

He grumbled as he finished his bite, taking a final swig of his beer. "Fuckin' hate them."

He said this so definitively, and while I wanted to ask why and push for a bit more description, I kept my mouth shut. "Yeah," I said instead. "I know plenty of people who were replaced. Nowhere for them to go except try to leave."

45 minutes, two pizzas, and five beers later, I was comfortably sprawled on the floor with Hank's dog. I caught his eye upside down; the man managed to break a thin smile at the sight which I returned in kind. It was probably the alcohol talking - I forgot how much of a lightweight I was - but Hank wasn't bad-looking. Grizzled handsome, actually. He had that fresh-out-of-bed-fuck-this-world-and-fuck-you-too look that invited more thoughts that included the word fuck . He was probably much more fit back in the day but it was obvious the years had taken a toll. Still, not bad . He'd make a nice addition to this pile.

I gave Sumo a push to indicate he needed to move. The pressure was building in my bladder and if I didn't get over there soon, things would get bad. As I rolled over and let out a horrendous, very unlady like burp, at which I laughed hysterically, Hank muttered, "Jesus Christ. You sound like me."

"Oh no, no no, Hank, you were making much worse noises. The fuck did you have for lunch?" I pushed up and gave myself a second. I had been lying down for too long. I treated myself to his bathroom, coming back out to see Hank clipping Sumo's leash to his collar.

"You coming? Don't want to leave you here, you might clean something again."

"Smart," I said. I grabbed Hank's arm as I pulled on my boots to steady myself.

"You are a lightweight. Gonna have to work on that," he said as we left.

"What're you saying, Hank. Trying to get me drunk?" I teased.

"Don't be weird. Bad enough my bartender's become my housecleaner. Don't need you hitting on me."

As we rounded to the sidewalk, I retorted, "Yeah, heaven forbid a woman finds you attractive."

I was a couple steps behind him and the dog. He tossed his head back to peer at me. "Thought I told you not to be weird."

I raised my hands in defense. "Sorry! I take it back. I think you're ugly as fuck and I never want to see you again. I'll grab a brown bag for your fucking face and doodle an ass on the front."

"That's better," he said.

We walked a couple more minutes in silence before my stupidity spoke up again. "Does that really make you uncomfortable?"

"Hm?"

"That I think you're attractive."

"I think it's the beer talking."

We stopped so Sumo could do his business at the end of the block. Hank stared off at the construction site but my gaze lingered a second too long and he gave me that look again, that suspicious What-the-fuck-do-you-want look.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"No, you're not. Don't you have anyone your own age you could be with? I've seen guys flirt with you at the bar. Couple chicks, too."

I scoffed. "People my age.. Most of them have become so fascinated with android partners, The Eden Club. Dating went out the window the second guys realized they could have a woman who didn't talk back. Why would I want someone who can't hold a conversation? You know... they - it would be hard enough at this age even without androids. People getting married and having kids. Then just the singles left over. Except now even them, they're in these weird 'relationships' with...with the androids. I wouldn't want to even try to step between that. So. Yeah, I would rather spend time with you and your mess because at least it's real . It's tangible. You drown it in Scotch instead of plastic and at least I can admire your rejection of these things. I get why you and all our other patrons make their rounds and come night after night. It's either that or be out here with… I dunno what. There's not a lot left."

"You get deep when you're drunk."

"I am...delightfully yet introspectively tipsy. It's a nice place to be."

We started back down the block to his place. Only the faintest sense of embarrassment was rattling around in my mind, numbed by the food and beer and the gradually chilled air as the fall was beginning to settle.

Upon return, I collected the boxes and bottles and took everything out to the garbage bin before Hank could stop me, during which time he changed out of his work clothes and into sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Thought you told me you lived here naked, Hank," I said as he detoured into the kitchen.

"Can't do that with you around."

"I'm not gonna stop you. Would have to find the Lysol for your ass, though."

"Hey, I'm perfectly sanitary."

He settled back in his chair with a beer in hand, and then placed one more on the coffee table.

"Thanks," I said. Maybe he thought my half-assed confession from outside was a joke. Maybe he didn't give a shit. Maybe he just wanted the company.

I accepted and settled back into the sofa, feet crossed and propped up before me. Sumo returned and lay beneath my legs.

After a couple minutes, Hank stared at his dog and gestured with his bottle. "Maybe he knows something I don't," he said.

"What do you mean?"

He shook his head, drawing his attention back to the TV for a few moments.

"Hank?"

He held the bottle in his fist against his face in thought before pointing down at the beast. "Never even did that with my ex-wife. Always stayed with me or…" he trailed off, again returning to watch the news.

"Your son," I offered.

He looked back at me, brow furrowed with thin lips, fingers curling into the armrest.

"I'm sorry," I said in a sigh. "I'm sorry…" Not a topic I should have brought up.

"You know about that?"

I nodded almost imperceptibly. "Yeah, I remember from the news a couple years ago. Not too long after was the first time you showed up at the bar. I remember running into Jimmy at the 7-11 once, said you started showing up at his as well. I mean, obviously, it's not like other officers don't drop by, but you were gaining notoriety among us as a good tipper. Anyway, I'm sorry for mentioning him."

"Yeah."

We sat in silence and I sipped the beer, much more slowly this time around, the air hung thick with Hank's memories. Sumo maneuvered again to join me on the cushions. You're not going anywhere, Lady.

Hank tilted another small smile at the sight. "Too weird."

"What?"

"That," he pointed his bottle at us. "Fuckin weird how much he likes you."

"Well, dogs tend to be good judges of character. I'm honored."

"Think I might be a little jealous."

"Of me or Sumo?"

"Didn't I already tell you not to be weird."

"I can't win with you, can I? Either I'm weird cause I think you're hot, or I'm weird because your dog has taken a fancy to me, or I'm weird for cleaning up your house. God, is there anything about me you don't find weird? Shit , Hank."

He paused, likely taken aback by the first part of that statement but chose to ignore it for now. "Not really."

"You know, you're a little more transparent than you might think."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you have had plenty of chances to kick me out tonight. And you haven't. So maybe you're not entirely weirded out by my company."

He grunted. "You want another one?"

I give up . "Sure. Thanks."

He returned and squeezed into the sofa at the ass-end of his dog. Sumo rearranged himself so I got the tail and rear and Hank received the muzzle and giant eyes. Hank stretched his arm out to hand over the beer which I took and held on the armrest at my side.

"You know why I drink," he said. "So why the hell do you? Could be out downtown instead of with an old man."

I scoffed again. "You're not old, Hank. Please."

"Older than you."

"Oh for Christsakes, can you stop pointing out the age difference. You're making me feel like a fucking golddigger. All right, I have no shame. I've dated older men before. Get over yourself. God, at least you don't have a secret android girlfriend. Right? Figured I would have found one by now. And if you want to know why I need to drink it's because ten years ago to the day was when I found my brother bleeding from his eyeballs in a playground after he overdosed. Still had the stupid fucking pipe in his hand."

I spat out that last sentence like a horrible chewy piece of steak, wanting to keep it inside for as long as possible but it was too much to hold back now.

"Okay? So forgive me if I just want to spend some time with someone who gets what a little first-hand death does to a person. You cleaned up the streets best you could back then but it still got my brother. And I'm not - I'm in no way blaming you or any of the others for missing that one specific stash. Shit's always gonna be out there." I bit back my lips and mindlessly stared off towards Hank's computer in the corner, pressing the back of my hand to my mouth to hold in whatever dared to spew forth; tears, more confessions, perhaps.

"I hadn't told anyone about that night before," I added. My eyes burned now.

"Fuck," Hank said.

I looked back at him and forced a thin smile. His own default tired and worn out expression hadn't changed, though perhaps pity and concern now etched the corners of his eyes.

"Yeah. Well, every year it gets easier and I feel guilty for that. I can't help but keep wondering. I shouldn't have paid that bail. He seemed okay the first day or two when he was with me. Then he just...disappeared. Found his car, found him. This is so royally fucked up, but half the reason why I stay in this job is to help people forget what this world is doing to them. I... enable forgetfulness. But I don't know if we're supposed to forget. That's the horrible thing, isn't it?"

I ran both hands along Sumos' lower back, lightly tugging at the hairs, not hard enough to pull, just for my fingers to trace. I held back tears now, the pressure thoroughly aided by the alcohol.

Hank was the first to break the silence after a few minutes. "There's one part they didn't tell you in the news." He looked over me, eyes washing over my face. "Cole needed emergency surgery after the accident but the fucking human doctor was high as shit. Android took over, wasn't able to help. I know it's not a competition, but I really fucking hate the time we're living in right now. I dunno, Alex, if it wasn't for Sumo, I'd have driven off a fucking bridge by now."

My eyes stung at the mutual tragedies and I reached over for a moment to squeeze his hand atop Sumo's head.

"I'm sorry," I said. I didn't linger and took my hand back.

"You wanna tell me about the guy with the secret android?"

I managed to laugh, rubbing my eyes once with my palm and then looked back over at Hank.

"Yeah that's a fun story. That was fucked up. I had been seeing this guy for a few months. And I should have seen the red flag immediately. He had this like, storage shed in his back yard. Frankly I didn't think twice about it too often cause it was a shed. You know, for gardening and stuff. But there was one day I was going over and I'm about to open the front door to the house and there's this real faint banging coming from the shed."

"Oh fuck , don't tell me. You caught them?"

"Yeah. I didn't even say anything, I just fucking bolted back to the car. Wasn't until I had my foot on the gas I see him running out, dick still hard, the android is standing right behind him half naked. I swear, it was like some fucked up horror movie because you know, they're so still . It was just - I laugh about it now because it's so messed up. He had the balls to text me after and try to confess to everything and defend himself. I never understood why people cheated even before androids and like come on, I don't care that they're not human, I'd be equally weirded out if it was a blow up doll or something."

Hank chuckled. "My roommate in college had one of those. You want to talk about fucked up. Those things are disgusting."

" Yeah ."

"You got any more fucked up stories you want to share? Might help take my mind off you calling me hot. And you know, all this other depressing shit."

I pushed out a deep sigh. "Oh for fuck's Jesus' sake, Hank!" I said, releasing myself from Sumo's butt. I stepped over to awkwardly bend in front of the man, pressed one hand beside his head into the cushion, took his face in a tight unrelenting grip with my other, planting a firm full weird kiss on his startled, slightly parted mouth for a solid five seconds. When I released, I stood straight up and took a half step back, hands on hips, "There's a distraction for you. You got a fuckin' problem with that?" He didn't answer, wide-eyed and perfectly still. Sumo hadn't moved either. Good dog . My heart was about to pound through my chest after the night's drinks and discussions. I felt my hands quivering at my sides as I continued to stare down at the man, daring him to say one more word.

"I have to piss," I said instead. Too much beer. I ran a hand over his head and slipped away.

Hank and the dog hadn't moved when I returned. I shakily stepped over Hank's legs and plopped down back on the sofa.

"The fuck was that for?" he finally muttered, looking at me with the eyes of a man who just woke from a coma.

I shrugged and tossed up a hand. "I wanted to. Wasn't bad, Hank. Fuckin' sue me."

"I might have to. Emotional damages. Gonna file a report with Fowler for assaulting a police officer."

I laughed and leaned back and ran my hands down my face, sucking my bottom lip to taste the kiss. "You are really good about making me feel bad about myself."

"I just don't get it."

"Well you've already established that you think I'm young and you can fuck right off with that. Maybe listen to your dog, Hank. Apparently he likes me more than your ex-wife, so I'm going to take some points for that even if you can't admit it."

"Not admitting shit."

Conveniently, or perhaps to Hank's contempt, Sumo decided to get up and take his corner bed by the computer, leaving us with just enough awkward space on the sofa that neither would immediately fill.

"Fine. Then why am I still here?"

"Cause you're a pain in the ass."

"Uh huh. Says the man who, after I told him he was attractive, gives me even more to drink. Yeah, whatever you say, Hank."

"If you think I'm trying to get you drunk, you're more fucked up than I thought."

"That's not what I'm thinking at all. I don't think you're like that with women. I think that you actually do like my company but you're too much of a gentleman or your head is so far up your own ass that you don't want to admit that this isn't the most uncomfortable night of your life. Maybe you're enjoying yourself and some part of you actually welcomes this intrusion because it's a distraction from your nights here alone or out at the bars. Look, I'll go home if you really don't want me here. I don't want to overstep and ruin our friendship. Okay, it's all right. But I think we've had a fairly relaxing evening. I needed this, too. So we can just leave it there."

I couldn't get a read on the man; he probably couldn't get one himself. We sat in pronounced silence for a few minutes before I told him to lie down. "Come here," I said.

"What? Just told me to fuckin' lie down, that's what I'm doing."

"No, just, oh for shit's sake, this way." I waved a hand over. He either wasn't getting it or bordering on too drunk to comprehend. "I promise I won't kiss you again. I can see how disgusted it made you."

He glared at me, apprehensive, but whatever might have begun to flicker on in his brain over the course of the night encouraged him to stretch out on his back as fully as he could, legs perched up on the opposite armrest, arms tightly crossed against his chest, and relaxed his head back properly in my lap.

Tentatively, I placed one hand along his forearm, another on his head.

"The fuck you doing?"

"Playing with your hair. Shut the fuck up and close your eyes. Time for you to go night-night, Hank."

" Weirdo ."

"You call me that one more time and I'm gonna kiss you again."

He grumbled and tightened within himself, turning his head slightly to the side towards the fireplace. I'm not sure how long we laid like this, fifteen minutes or so, my fingers idling along his scalp, tucking and untucking the hair from behind his ear. Frankly I was surprised he let me do this for so long, but it was innocent enough and I could feel him start to relax, however begrudgingly. Thoughts drifted past as I felt myself ever slowly beginning to nod off. We must have mutually passed out for a bit because I felt myself jerk awake; I had sunk a couple inches deeper into the cushions, Sumo now lay under my stretched out legs again, and Hank was snoring. Vigorously.

My head was swimming from the long day and the beer and I was a little flustered. Flustered at myself for having begun to develop an attraction to this crotchety cooch over the past several weeks, flustered at him for continuously and repetitively noting my age, and yet, I could understand the firm hesitation and questioning. I wouldn't dare ask unless he offered, but I had gathered from his late night grumblings at the bar that his divorce occurred after the death of his son and then during his descent into alcoholism. I'm guessing he never got back into dating and sex wasn't one of the new dangerous addictions he had developed. If I was anyone else, I wouldn't be instigating or encouraging his drinking, perhaps not even participating, but one thing I've learned with my patrons over the years, there was no stopping it.

It was this world, the constant bullshit brought on us by advancements in technology which only encouraged homelessness and unemployment, drug use and alcohol. A disconnect from the social structure in which there were barely even live events anymore with the monopolizing demand for VR and artificial sex over at Eden. I never allowed myself to get swept up in this new technology like so many of my peers over the years because I saw what it did to them. Androids were supposed to free people up to enjoy their lives instead of being bogged down by chores and helping their children with homework , heaven forbid. But instead they just meandered aimlessly. For those that still had jobs, they'd come home and smoke or drink because it was so much easier to imbibe than it was to do something constructive with their lives.

I could only begin to imagine the hatred this man felt towards androids and the drugs. After doing so much during his time on the force to rid it from the streets and yet, just as it took my brother, it had taken his son. He must have felt useless in those moments of realization. What did they miss ? He probably wondered. How did they miss so many connections ?

He snorted himself awake and I giggled. He looked up at me. "What you laughing at?"

"You sound like a pig." I mimicked his snoring which evolved into a fit of giggles and he peered up at me.

"You saying that cause I'm a cop?"

"I guess I am." I snorted again, waking Sumo up in the process. I'm so sorry, boy, but your daddy is a noisy bastard.

Hank pushed himself up from my lap to sit properly back against the cushions, leaving only an inch or so between us as I devolved into a mess of the giggles.

"Yeah, well you sound like me after a bender and you're nearly half my size so where the fuck does that all come from? Huh? Fuck , I don't think my ass can take this sofa anymore. I need to get to bed," he said. He didn't move immediately, gathering his surroundings before he could stand.

I stretched out on my side away from him and splayed my legs over his own with an arm under my head.

"And it looks like you're staying here. Great," he said.

"What, you want me to follow you? I'm flattered," I said flatly. It was a tease; I didn't move but I heard Hank sigh.

" Christ , you're a weird girl. Ah fuck ."

Just as he was about to push himself up, I twisted onto my back and maneuvered into a kneeling position at his side, gripping his face with my hands for another firm kiss. "I told you what would happen," I whispered into his mouth upon release. He didn't mutter anything or push back or even grumble this time, allowing me to try again, gradually coaxing him to respond, however subtly. His left hand was still down on the cushion, his right was tight to his thigh. Without breaking from his mouth, I pivoted around to dig my right knee against his left leg to position myself in a proper straddle. I felt him tentatively place both hands on my waist and gave this situation a few more seconds before pulling back to break the kiss with widened eyes.

"Hey, woah, hold up, Alex. You uh - hey. Ah fuck . You need to get up and go home. Go!"

I paused for a half-second before I realized exactly why I needed to leave right now . I did as I was told and scrambled off as Hank stood and shuffled down the hallway.

"I'm sorry," I said. I don't know if he heard me but I said it again as I gathered my things and departed for the night.