Chapter VIII: Ino Senju

"Sakura, Come here! You've gotta see this!"

Famous last words, Sakura thought as Ino grabbed her arm and proceeded to drag her off to God knows where.

Again.

Normally, Sakura would suffer through this treatment without putting up much of a fight, but she was sort of in a time crunch. "I-Ino!" She hissed. "Do you realize what time it is? The Chunin Exams—"

"Of course I know what time it is," Ino said, yanking her arm harder. "Look, I was thinking about what you said earlier." When Sakura didn't respond immediately, Ino elaborated. "You know, about the blood lines!"

Oh... Had Ino actually been listening to her that time? Sakura could feel a tendril of hope tentatively blossoming in her chest.

"The more I thought about it, the more I realized that you might be onto something. After all, I guess the anime did make a big deal about them." Yes, yes! Sakura cheered inwardly. Ino was finally thinking critically, dare she even say it, acknowledging the laws of the Narutoverse! Maybe we're not totally screwed after all!

"So I figured there must be some reason why I was able to learn Mokuton from a scroll. And then I realized something!" Ino's enthusiasm was nearly palpable. "You know how you said Sasuke didn't justlearn his Sharingan, but actually just unlocked the ability to use it? Maybe the same thing happened to me. Maybe I've always had the potential to use Wood Release and reading that scroll just unlocked it for me!"

"Um.…" ...no. I don't think so, Ino.

"It makes perfect sense!" Ino said excitedly, stopping for a moment to grab Sakura's shoulders and give her a good shake. "I've been trying to figure out why I got stuck in Ino's body for a while now. I mean, she's not even a main character."

"Why would you even expect to be a main character—"

"So obviously it must be because Ino's secretly really powerful!"

Sakura sighed. "Or maybe you just ended up in Ino because your personalities were similar?"

"Don't be an idiot. That reason is completely dumb," Ino glared. "And there's no way it was random."

"W-well, I don't see why not," Sakura said. "Not everything has to have some special reason behind it. I mean, why did we end up here right before the start of the Chunin Exams?" Sakura asked. "Wouldn't it have made more sense for us to show up at the start of the series?"

"No way," Ino dismissed, scoffing at the mere thought. "Everything before the start of the Chunin Exams was completely boring. This is when things start to get interesting, so obviously it makes perfect sense for us to show up here."

"Technically, Ino, we showed up a few weeks before—"

"—to give us time to train, dummy!"

"I... I guess that makes sense…"

To Sakura's relief, Ino had led them straight to the Academy. Instead of entering, she turned the corner, leading them both towards the back of the building. Her grin widened substantially when she caught sight of the two figures waiting for them ahead.

"Hey, Ino!" Naruto grinned back at her. He was waving a scroll energetically in the air. Next to him, Sasuke stood staring dully at the floor in front of him with his arms folded, looking decidedly unimpressed.

Why are they hiding in the shadows back there?

"Aha! There you are!" Ino broke into a sprint, dragging Sakura along with her. "Did you bring it with you?"

Better yet, what is Ino doing meeting with my teammates without me?!

"Of course!"

"Sakura, you're not going to believe this. Get ready for it." Ino let out a deep breath. "I'm not actually a Yamanaka."

Sakura stared at her, her face quite blank. She noticed Sasuke do the same.

"No, really," Ino insisted. "Come on. Bloodline limit, remember? It makes sense, doesn't it? I had my suspicions earlier, you know, so I figured, what if there was some kind of secret conspiracy going on? Konoha has all kinds of those, so it's not like it'd be out of the ordinary. And," —Ino swiped the papers out of Naruto's hands —"I have the documents to prove it!"

"What kind of documents exactly?" Sasuke said, voice suspicious.

"I'm getting there, God." Ino glared at him, clearly annoyed with the interruption. "So anyway! Earlier Naruto and I snuck into the Hokage's private chambers, you know, just to see what we could find. I wasn't really sure what to look for exactly, but I just followed my intuition and it totally paid off! You wouldn't believe the things that old guy keeps in his desk, Sakura."

"Wait, hold up." Sakura stopped her. "Are you saying that you just walked right into the Hokage's office in broad daylight and stole a bunch of private documents?" Sakura stared at them both skeptically. "With him? Er, no offense, Naruto."

Ino laughed. "Naruto's been evading ANBU since he was in diapers. Of course he can. How do you think he got that forbidden scroll at the beginning of the series?"

"Series?"

"W-well," Sakura stammered, "I thought that was more a throw-away gag, to be honest—"

"It's because Naruto's actually one of the smartest kids in our year," Ino said decisively. "He's not nearly as dumb as he pretends to be."

"I'm not?" Naruto's eyes widened; a second later, his face flushed as he realized what he just implied. "I-I mean, yeah! That's right! I'm totally smart and the best in class and everything!"

"Oh my god." Sasuke groaned. "Can we go now?"

"I could have graduated any time I wanted to!"

"Exactly!" Ino cheered him on. "But you didn't want anyone to catch on. It would have been dangerous, with you having that fox demon inside of you and all. People might've decided you were a threat, and who knows what would have happened to you then. It's a lot easier to blend into the crowd by pretending to an idiot, right?"

"Yeah! That's right!" Naruto gushed. "Wow, Ino, I didn't realize you were so cool!"

"Of course I'm cool," Ino said. "I'm a Senju, after all."

Sakura heard herself let out a squeak.

"What?" Let me see that," Sasuke snapped, grabbing the documents out of Ino's hands. Tentatively, Sakura snuck up behind him, her eyes greedily scanning over the contents.

"The contents of this document include the consent to adoption, as well as the acknowledgement of said consent, and are governed by the Konoha statutes under which this proceeding is initiated. In the matter of the closed adoption of one Ino Senju, such provisions have been designed to ensure protection of all parties, to prevent unnecessary trauma and separation, and to facilitate bonding of the family unit in support the decision of the Yamanaka clan to take custody of the child in question."

..What the hell..

"I, Tsunade Senju, the mother of Ino Senju, hereby consent to her adoption by Inoichi Yamanaka and—"

"TSUNADE?!" Sakura shrieked. "Are... Are you kidding me? Tsunade's like 60 years old!"

"Senju clan?" Sasuke said, eyeing Ino suspiciously. "Isn't that the clan of the First Hokage?"

"And why would the Hokage leave decade-old adoption papers lying around his office?!"

"That's right!" Ino said, ignoring Sakura's outburst. "He's only person to ever be able to use Mokuton, too, so of course it makes sense that I'd be related to him. It's the only possible explanation. After all, once you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left must be true!"

Sakura cradled her head in her hands, mumbling incoherently to herself. "This has to be some kind of joke."

"So you're not related to the Yamanakas?" Sasuke said. "At all? Something about this doesn't seem right," Sasuke's brow was furrowed now, and Sakura could see the wheels turning behind Sasuke's eyes. Unfortunately, whatever dawning insight was about to reach him was shut down as he opted to shake his head in annoyance instead. "Tch. Whatever, I can't deal with this right now. You can brag about your secret heritage on your own time."

Naruto scratched his head, looking back and forth between Ino and the documents as Sasuke handed them back to her. Ino claimed Naruto had accompanied her earlier, but he was staring at the wad of papers as if he was seeing them for the first time. "Uh... I don't really understand what's going on…"

"What's going on?" Sakura laughed. "I'll tell you what's—"

"I don't care what's going on." Sasuke said. "I can't believe I let you guys drag me out here. If we're disqualified for being late—"

"So if the Yamanakas aren't your parents…" Naruto said slowly. "Then that means you've never met your real parents either." Naruto's voice took on a bittersweet tone. "Well, at least you know one of them is alive. I don't even know who my real parents are."

Ino's eyes lit up. "Maybe we're related!"

"No!" Sakura nearly shouted. "Definitely not! Oh, look at that. Time to head down to Room 301!"

"Finally," Sasuke grumbled.