Note: Seeing as I'm parodying movies that were released before the 21st century, I decided to do The Exorcist. As such, there will be a LOT of obscenities in this one. Just thought that I would give that warning before we got started. Now then, it's time for chapter five.

Chapter 5: The Exorcism of Lucy Hare

Cast

Lucy Hare

Peppy Hare

Finn Mertens

Jake the Dog

Seeing as his daughter, Lucy, was interested in odd artifacts, Peppy Hare had contacted an item collector to see if he had an artifact he could sell. The item he received was a statue that had a humanoid with wings on his back and horns. Without hesitation, Peppy gave it to Lucy.

"Thanks Dad," the younger female said, "this looks cool!"

"I figured that you would like it." Peppy smiled.

"Where did you get it?" Lucy asked.

"I got it from an item collector who said that it came from a shrine." The old hare stated, "It's an idol shaped like a chaos god."

"Creepy," Lucy said, "but I guess I can put it on my dresser."

"Just be careful," Peppy warned her, "that might be a cursed object."

"Don't worry," the younger hare said, "I won't let it break or anything."

Carrying the idol up to her room, Lucy placed it on her dresser. Before she could lay down on her bed to take a nap, the doe saw the artifact's eyes glowing red. As she fell asleep, she could feel something burning her. In addition, she started to hear voices echoing into her mind. Her eyes also started to glow red, much like the statue was. This was going to be a bad day, without a doubt.

Down in the living room, Peppy was talking with Fox, Falco, and Slippy.

"So," Falco spoke, "how's that daughter of yours?"

"Lucy's doing fine," Peppy said, "she's even going to take up a career in astrophysics when she gets out of high school."

"Where is she, anyway?" Slippy asked.

"She's up in her room," the old hare stated, "taking a nap."

"I would like to meet her." Fox stated.

"I'm sure that you'll get the opportunity." Peppy said.

All of a sudden, Lucy came out of her room while crab walking. She then proceeded to crab walk down the stairs.

"Looks like someone woke up." Falco joked.

"And she's crab walking?" Fox was confused.

"Are you feeling okay, honey?" Peppy asked.

"I don't feel so good." Lucy moaned as her eyes, nose, and mouth started to bleed.

"We need to get you to a hospital!" Peppy panicked.

"SILENCE!" A demonic, low voice came out of Lucy. Without warning, Fox, Falco, and Slippy started to levitate to the ceiling.

"Forget the hospital, Peppy," Slippy said, "you need to get an exorcist!"

"But where am I going to find one?!" The old hare asked.

"I'll call one!" Fox stated, "In the meantime, you should probably keep her in her room for the time being!"

A few hours later, and Peppy had put the possessed Lucy in her room, not wanting to get attacked by the monster inside of her. There was a knock on the front door. Peppy then went down to the door and opened it. Standing in the doorway were a blond-haired human and a yellow dog, both dressed like Priests.

"Is this the Hare residence?" The dog asked.

"Yes," Peppy said, "and who are you two?"

"Finn Mertens." The human introduced himself.

"And I'm Jake." The dog spoke.

"We're the exorcists that are here to exorcise your daughter." Finn stated.

"Where is the bunny, anyway?" Jake asked.

"She's up in her room," Peppy stated, "so be careful when you approach her."

Finn and Jake entered the room, where they saw Lucy writhing on her bed. Before the possessed hare could attack them, the duo tied her hands and feet to the bed.

"She's possessed, alright!" Finn stated.

"Let's test her before we continue on." Jake suggested.

"Okay." The human said.

"Hey Lucy," the dog spoke, "are you okay?"

"Lucy's not here right now." A demonic voice rang out of the doe's mouth.

"Then where is she?" Finn asked.

"She's in here with us." The voice groaned.

"Then let her go." Jake said.

"And if I don't?" The voice asked.

"Then we'll have to exorcise you out of her." Finn stated.

"Like how my mother exorcised a demon out of a courthouse." Jake stated.

"Your mother sucks cocks in hell!" The voice taunted.

"Take that back!" Jake shouted.

"Fuck off, you mongrel!" The possessed Lucy laughed insanely. In response, Finn splashed holy water onto her, causing the monster in control of her to violently scream.

"It burns! It burns!" The demonic voice screamed.

"Serves you right!" Jake barked.

"Jake, we've got to keep going!" Finn stated as Lucy violently writhed and thrashed on her bed.

"Let me out!" The monster inside the doe screamed.

"The power of Christ compels you!" Jake screamed as he splashed Lucy with holy water. In response, the hare uncontrollably spewed out massive amounts of green fluid.

"Ugh," Finn groaned, "pea soup!"

"She vomited all over us!" Jake complained.

"There's more where that came from, you bastards!" The monster inside Lucy screamed.

"The power of Christ compels you!" Finn and Jake shouted repeatedly. However, this only angered the monster that was possessing Lucy. Upon stopping their shouting, the exorcists were met with a violent scream.

"No it doesn't!" The possessed Lucy shrieked, "Christ can go get fucked in a brothel, I'm stronger than he is!"

The hare's head started to spin around her neck. When her head stopped spinning, she vomited on the exorcists again.

"Pazuzu!" Jake screamed.

The monster inside Lucy screamed in panic.

"I order you out of this girl's body! Begone!" The dog shouted as he held out a cross.

The monster screamed as he was forced out of Lucy's body, which reverted the doe to normal. Peppy then came into the room, where he saw Lucy untying herself.

"Are you okay now, honey?" Peppy asked.

"I'll be okay from now on." Lucy stated.

After untying her, Finn and Jake were paid their bill and left the house.

"Where did Pazuzu go when you ordered him out of Lucy's body?" Finn asked.

"I don't know," Jake stated, "but I hope that he's suffering."

Meanwhile, at the Star Wolf HQ ...

"You are so annoying," Leon Powalski said to a mirror, "you probably have to get your fellow demons to yell at you to shut up!"

"Your mother fucks Satan in hell!" Pazuzu taunted.

"I know," the chameleon said in annoyance, "that's why I had her buried on Venom!"

"Oh." Pazuzu was dumbfounded. This was just not the demon's day.

Note: This parody/crossover is supposed to be set before Star Fox met Krystal, which is why Lucy is so young. Kind of weird how Peppy has a daughter, but she didn't appear until Star Fox Command, he didn't even talk about her in any of the games before and after Command. I included a cameo from Leon at the end, primarily because I thought that it would be funny for him and Pazuzu to trade insults. Even though I am not religious, I want to apologize for offending those with religious beliefs. Then again, this is a parody of The Exorcist, so of course there will be slurs launched towards religious figures by the bad guy. What did you guys think about this chapter? Let me know when you leave a review or give a constructive criticism. Until next time guys, peace!