Chapter 17: The Sacrifices We Make

I sat in the back of the Impala as Dean drove in silence with Castiel beside him, it seemed Sam was unable to overthrow Lucifer in the end. When Dean got back he was crushed, seeing news of disaster popping up all over the globe knowing Lucifer was the cause of it. Castiel insisted now that Lucifer had Sam he would seek out Michael for their final showdown so they called the apparent prophet Chuck to get that location. Castiel didn't say anything about our little night much to my pleasure but it didn't help me from thinking about it. I was foolish to fall so hard for an angel no less but I didn't regret any of it as much as I tried to force myself too, I only hoped he didn't either.

Once we got to the location Bobby made a makeshift Molotov of holy oil saying, "We need to get Lucifer alone so we can use this on Michael to buy us some time."

"I'll throw it." Castiel said taking it from Bobby as I gave him an uneasy look saying, "This is gonna piss them off."

"Not as much as I'm pissed." Dean said seeing the worry written all over his face making me frown.

Dean decided to head up first wanting us to give the element of surprise as I turned towards Castiel saying, "Whatever happens I just want you to know…"

He stopped me putting his mouth against mine feeling myself melt to his touch but he pulled away giving me a small nod knowing what I was going to say. Bobby looked between us but I just shrugged as we started making our way to the destination.

I saw Michael, Dean, and Lucifer in Sam's meat suit talking until by my side Castiel says, "Hey assbutt."

I blinked slowly turning towards him as he threw the Molotov at Michael watching him cry out disappearing while Lucifer turned towards us feeling my body freeze.

"Did you just Molotov my brother with holy oil?" Lucifer said with a slight surprise expression seeing the anger build on his face as Castiel looked around saying, "No…"

With a snap of his fingers, Castiel exploded beside me feeling his blood hit the side of my face as my body stiffened. The wind picked up around me as my eyes went black taking a step towards Lucifer seeing him stare at me with slight amusement.

"Funny… a demon angry about an angel, don't worry you'll be joining him too." Lucifer said as my fist tightened saying, "You better hope to your father that you kill me because if you don't I will find you and scatter your body across this planet."

He laughed staring at me saying, "Don't worry… I plan on it."

With a snap of his fingers, my body blew up from the inside out feeling nothing but emptiness.

I opened my eyes seeing I was staring into a room frowning as I heard light crying taking a step forward. I made my way to a basinet feeling my throat close up seeing Grace crying lightly inside as my eyes darted around the room unsure. I looked down at my body seeing I was in my original form feeling my hands shake looking around worriedly.

"You have a choice to make." I heard a voice say but I couldn't see the owner of it as it finished, "I can give you the option of staying dead with your daughter unable to help the Winchesters or anyone else again… or you will stay a demon on Earth and next time you die I may not offer this to you again."

I frowned looking down at Grace saying, "What happens to her if I go?"

"She will stay here with your memory like she always has." The voice said as I looked down sadly at my daughter.

I wasn't the person I used to be, I was angry, irrational and dangerously passionate about all the things I never wished for her to be around. I brushed her curls as she cooed at my touch feeling my heartbreak slightly looking down at her seeing her eyes close.

"I want to go back… she deserves to keep my memory the way it was." I said selflessly as the voice said simply, "As you wish."

I was suddenly standing back where I had died feeling around my body seeing I was still intact swinging around to see Castiel suddenly back as well.

"You're okay Cassy?" I said as he nodded saying, "God brought me back, I'm much stronger than before."

I watched him revive Bobby and heal Dean as he looked at me saying, "You died… how are you back?"

I smiled sadly saying, "I chose to stay here with you guys, there's always use for a demon extraordinaire."

"God brought you back?" Castiel said surprised making me shrug saying, "It appears that way, I feel the same."

I looked as Dean picked up the rings telling us what had happened before we decided to leave in case more angels came.

"What will you do now?" Dean asked looking towards Castiel as he said, "I'm going back to Heaven, they need a leader to straighten everything out."

"Yea I'm sure now that Lucifer is gone Crowley will have more work for me, demons aren't going to be too happy." I said as I felt Castiel staring at me for a moment looking away sadly, we both knew what it meant finishing this but it seemed none of us got what we really wanted out of all this.