Chapter 04

Life is short, life happens in a blink of an eye. Or, at least that's what Lena felt when she got a call in the middle of the night...

"Hello? Who's this?"

With a sleeping voice, Lena answers her phone. She sounds grumpy because it's barely 3am in the morning. Who calls at 3am? Lena wonders, and she feels angry enough to snap at whoever is disturbing her rest because she already struggles to sleep due to her work, and the last thing she needs is someone interrupting her dreams.

Being the CEO of an international company comes with a very demanding schedule, and Lena makes her life even harder because she's a workaholic. The work is always first. Lena barely eats, she barely sleeps because she doesn't make the time to get the rest she needs. And, when she finally gets a little time to herself, someone calls her very late. Is this a joke from the Universe? Or, a reminder that she doesn't deserve to rest well at all?

Whatever is the reason behind this call, Lena is really upset, ready to yell to whoever is calling at this hour, but, before she could snap, her brain decides to say nothing at all when the only thing she hears it's the crying of someone else...

"Who's this?"

Her heart pounds fast, and a cold chill spread over her body when she recognizes the phone number.

"K-K-Kara...?"

No reply, just sobs and crying is what Lena is able to hear, but, she knows it's Kara, deep down, she knows it's her.

"Kara, what is wrong?!"

Lena's brain needs to hear a reason for a call at this late hour while her heart is telling her ' Don't! Don't ask!'. Lena never follows her heart, so she asks again for a reason for this call. Between sobs, Kara finds the strength to finally speak out.

It's when Kara starts talking that Lena realizes that she should have listened to her heart because she really doesn't want to hear this at all.

In her fancy bed, in her luxurious penthouse, Lena wildly opens her eyes because once again, her world was turning upside down after another call from Kara Danvers.

"Where do you think you'll be when you get old, Lex?"

"How old?"

"Really old..."

Lex shrugs, he has never wondered how he will be during his old-age. And, when he asks Lena why she's asking such a question when she's barely 8 years old, the younger Luthor replies...

"I don't want to end like Mother. And you? Do you think you'll be like Father...?"

"I don't know... but, being like our parents. Is it really the worst thing that could ever happen to us?"

For Lena, it was. Becoming her mother as time goes by, it has always been the biggest fear for her. But, Lex was right, getting old, like their parents, wasn't the worst thing that could ever happen to them. No, the worst thing that could ever happen, it's to never get the chance to get old at all...

"Miss Luthor, we've arrived..."

It was a Saturday morning when the chauffeur announced their arrival to Smallville. A little town with few people that knew about its existence. Passing by the streets, Lena wonders how Lex ended up in a place like this in the first place. From the window of her car, she finds nothing charming in the town that her brother chose to live in, and she might be right, there's nothing extraordinary in a little town as Smallville. But, this was Clark's town. And that was enough for Lex to fall in love with the little town.

Smallville is where Lex decided to spend the rest of his life, beside his precious Clark. And, in a way that's what he did, after all, they died, side by side... together...

They died together, that's the only thing that Lena recalls from her talk with Kara. And, just thinking about it, it makes her sad, really sad because if it was her, she would have died alone... completely alone.

Right now there are so many things happening in Lena's mind, in Lena's heart; the bad news about the car accident, it makes her feel so many emotions at the same time. Sorrow, anger, fear... And, like any Luthor, Lena has never liked to deal with a turmoil of feelings. That's why each time she gets to feel something which shakes her to her core, she shuts it down immediately, setting those feelings into little boxes she buries deep down in her soul. But right now, Lena doesn't believe she has enough imaginary boxes to contain all she's feeling.

"STOP! STOP THE CAR RIGHT NOW!"

The driver suddenly stops the car. He has no idea why they are stopping in the middle of the road till he turns his head to his right, and notices the roadside memorial.

"This is it... this is where it happened, this is the spot where Lex..."

Lena can't finish her sentence, she can't pronounce the word because saying the 'D' word, it makes it real, it makes it true. And, Lena is not ready to accept that Lex is gone. Her big brother can't be gone, that's what Lena thinks over and over as she stares at all the flowers, and candles which mark the last place on Earth where her dear brother was alive.

Locals have already settled lots of flowers on the section where the car was found, crashed, and, in flames. Lena has never been a fan of looking at crime scenes, but, she needs to see this, she needs to be here, even if a big part of her wants to run away as far as possible, because this hurts... this hurts a lot.

The driver turns off the engine. He says nothing. He just waits for Lena to move, or give any order at all. But, she can't, she can't move, she can't speak. She has this knot in her throat which doesn't allow her to say anything at all.

"Miss. Luthor, the funeral will start soon, and..."

"I know..."

She cannot be late to the funeral, she knows that, but she can't leave without leaving something here either, so Lena chooses the most beautiful rose she has in the big bouquet she has at her side, and taking a deep breath, she steps out of the car.

With shaking legs, Lena walks towards the roadside memorial. Her heels have never resonated so strongly as now. Maybe it's because there's no one on the road beside her, or maybe it's because Lena focuses on the sound of her heels just so she can be able to keep walking without falling apart.

Among all the flowers, all the candles, Lena stands there, alone. She wasn't there to see the car after the accident, but she has a very big imagination to picture in her mind the horrible scene. Broken glasses, screams of help, the sounds of the sirens...

"From all the places you had to die. You had to do it in a place that couldn't afford any of my medical devices..."

Lena strongly holds the rose she has in her hand, the thorns start to hurt her, blood drops, but, the pain that the thorns are causing her, it's nothing compared to the pain Lena feels in her heart.

You never know how much people mean to you till it's too late, till you can no longer treasure them. And that's what Lena is feeling right now. And, the worst part is that Lena believes that Lex didn't have to die at all. The CEO of L-Corp is sure that if the hospital of Smallville would have had her medical inventions, her dear brother would still be here... alive.

Not all the hospitals can afford her expensive inventions. She could make the prices more accessible for everyone. But, she hasn't done that... so, it's her fault? Did she kill her brother? Did she contribute to his fatal ending?

It might be insane to blame herself for Lex's death. But even still, Lena blames herself for it. She blames herself for not being closer and helping. She blames herself for not spending more time with Lex. So many Christmases, so many birthdays, so many memories they could have had, but didn't. And Lena blames herself for it because her work was more important than family. Being the perfect Luthor was more important than being the perfect sister. And thinking about all the past decisions she has made, Lena gets angry with herself, regretting each one of them.

Lena has many regrets already, but she's sure that her biggest regret in this life will be to not have the guts to stand up for her brother in front of their parents. She wouldn't have won the war, but, she would have let Lex know he wasn't alone...

Alone... so alone is how Lena feels right now that Lex is dead. Because he's gone, he's really gone and Lena bursts into tears when the realization of the death of her brother finally hits her.

"Why?! Why Lex?! Why didn't you live forever...?!"

Lena yells to the sky, she curses the world, she blames herself for so many things, but mostly, for believing that her brother would live forever. But to be honest, there's no one to blame, there's no one to get angry at, because Death happens. Sooner or later, it knocks on our doors without saying why or when.

But, just as Death can arrive in our lives when we least expect it, life can arrive too... maybe when we need it the most...

"Kara, your belly is slowly appearing..."

"Yeah... I'm really pregnant even if I'm still not so big..."

Lena chuckles with happy tears when the first thing she sees when she arrives at the funeral, it's a tiny belly for now, but it's there. With Clark's swimmers & Lena's egg, they made a baby, a baby that Kara was willing to carry for Clarke & Lex. The two men were supposed to raise this child, but they can't anymore. They are not here, and Kara is not sure what she's supposed to do now that they're gone.

"I'm scared, I don't know what to do now, Lena... I..."

"You're not alone"

"Huh?"

"You're not alone"

Lena softly puts her hand over the belly of Kara and smiles when she feels the new life that is being created.

Kara smiles too. Lena's hand is warm, and knowing that she's here, at her side, it eases her mind.

They have lost so much, but, between all the sorrow, all the loss and Death. There's hope... there's life... there's a baby on the way. A little ray of joy that will finally bring a little of light into their grey lives. And, that's reason enough to smile... to keep going, even if they know that we are not meant to live forever.