A.N.: All right, let's see what Harry had up his sleeve. Brief note: Gryffindor=Gryphons, Ravenclaw=Ravens. The clue is in the name, people. Anywho, I am writing this on about three hours sleep, so I hope you like it. Fic rec will be Core Threads by theaceoffire. It isn't finished. Actually, it is 73 chapters and it just started year two, but it is a great story, if a but wordy, and is definitely worth a read. Also, if I typoed, please message me so I can fix it.

Ok, story:

Last time: Harry carefully cross-examined each one, prying out hidden details and thoughts on progress. Given that two of the teachers were teaching basic subjects, and the other an elective, the individual opinions of the teachers matched up. Each said that, while there were very few who excelled. The general consensus was one of… adequacy. Harry grinned. This, was exactly what he was hoping for. The Marauders had had their day. Now, Harry Potter was going to prank Hogwarts in a way it would never recover from.

-HP—HP-

Harry had a hard time not laughing. Here he was, Mr. Dark-Lord-in-Training or Mr. Cheating-His-Way-into-a-Tournament, or Mr. He'll-be-Dead-by-Christmas, holding an impromptu staff meeting in the great hall with everyone attending, in front of the students, and everyone was playing along. It was HILARIOUS! As much as he was enjoying it, though, he felt like he was forgetting something, but as hard as he tried to remember, he couldn't remember what it was. Putting it aside as unimportant for the time being, he got back to business. The various other teachers were winding down with snide comments from Snape (who looked like he had been up all of last night with nightmares, even though he had looked fine earlier in the day) and a very nice, but mostly useless speech from Hagrid (he was still new, after all. It was his second year of teaching, for goodness sake!).

As Hagrid wound down, Harry brought the next piece into play. One of the most important parts of any successful prank, as Sirius had told him in a letter last summer, was the involvement of things that were thought safe, or were completely ignored, and nothing was as ignored or belittled as Argus Filch.

"Thank you, teachers for your perspectives. Next up, would Mr. Argus Filch come forward for questioning?"

For several minutes, the only sound throughout the entire hall was confused, disbelieving murmurs. Then, from a side door near the teachers table, and exceptionally nervous, suspicious, and surprisingly hopeful Argus Filch came out, and sat at the head table for the first time in memory.

"Mr. Filch, thank you for attending today. I know your invitation must have come as a surprise, as you are by far the most ignored and undervalued member of or staff. Now, I am aware that you hold rather… severe feelings of animosity towards many of the students here for various infractions you have caught that were ignored, pranks you have had to clean up after, messes you were made to take care of, damage to various parts of the castle you had to fix, constant heckling from the student body, insult from said students and even your peers, being taken for granted, and such…"

Here Harry paused, letting the students think about what a hard life Filch had. He was a bitter old man, to be sure, but he had good reason to be mad. Born a squib to a low-ranking dark family, being cast out from his family, being forced to work in a place where everyone but him could do magic, and being forced to clean up messes like a house-elf with no appreciation for his efforts was a very good reason to be bitter, and, if Harry could help it, he would soon have far fewer reasons to be like that. Oh, he didn't like Argus, at all, but he was willing to be cordial to him because of his position, and, due to many, many years under the Dursleys, he understood the man very well.

Having let the silence drag on for long enough, he started back up again. "… but that is beside the point. We already have a rather thorough account of the students from all of the teachers. What I would like from you, is and account of the castle. How is our maintenance? How clean is the castle? What areas need the most work, and how can we help?"

The speech that followed was long and tedious, very bitter, as well as rather alarming. Various safety features, such as cushioning charms at the bottom of stairs and the various towers were fraying, if still there at all. Various pluming features were leaking, and had been for years. There was a very real threat of a gas leak in the kitchens, and a possibility of potion fumes from Snape's lab getting mixed in to the gas that was used to cook the food due to a flaw in the lab's ventilation system (that made Snape get even paler). The list included whole wings that no-one had ever seen that hadn't been cleaned in centuries, sections of the castle in such a bad state that they weren't safe for anyone to enter, and even tales of a family of trolls in a hidden part of the dungeon. It was horrifying to Harry to here this list, and even more horrifying that only a handful of Muggleborns and Halfbloods seemed to care. After the report was complete, Harry let silence reign for half a minute, gathering himself for the next bit. This was the hard sell, the do-or-die moment. Pulling a staff meeting out of thin air was one thing, but encouraging thorough changes in Hogwarts life? That would take some work.

Harry took a deep breath, and stood up. "This, is what I wanted to bring to your attention, teachers and students of Hogwarts. Throughout every description of classes, all of the considerations of students, and that rather horrifying description of our castle, I noticed one common theme. Adequacy. Every teacher had a few exemplary students, but most of the classes were full of mediocrity! We are supposed to be the foremost magical institution in all of Europe, but the other schools laugh us to scorn, and rightly so! Beauxbaton may not be as far as we are academically (though they aren't far behind), but their castle and grounds far surpass ours! That is unacceptable. And Durmstrang! The castle they attend may be as ugly as hell itself, but if the students who attend that institution get below an EE on ANY year's test, not just OWLs or NEWTS, the student is stripped of their magic, obliviated of all knowledge of the magical world, and is expulsed! As such, their academics FAR surpass ours! Not that I think we should take up their policies. No! That would be coping them. We need a way to be better than them. That is why we are here."

"At each of your tables, student helpers of mine are handing out pamphlets with various ideas I have had for clubs, systems, and projects we, as students, can help the teachers with. These clubs will have minimal teacher oversite, no required attendance, and open enrolment as long as you fit the criterium they have, As each club is named and explained, I will be inviting the student or students in charge of them to come up and, after I explain the groundwork, they will explain the basics of what they hope to perform. One more time to be clear, besides any criterium that the clubs themselves have, I am not forcing you to join these clubs, the teachers are not a part of these clubs without invitation, and the only student who will HAVE to be at any of these clubs is me!"

"Now, first up from Ravenclaw, we have Luna Lovegood for 'Club for the Pursuit of the Unknown', or CPU. This club will be primarily dedicated to the science of magical research of limits, namely, can something be done, and why or why not. Can a first year really not cast a Patronus? Are Phoenixes really immortal? Do leprechauns actually conjure gold? These questions will be the basis of this club. Now, for the most part, the club won't be pursuing groundbreaking research, but sometimes they will come across interesting things. Take me for example. At eighteen months old, I survived a killing curse. That is impossible. How did that happen? Other than these mysteries, they will mostly be focused on developing rule systems to study, analysis, and categorize magic, as well as finding out what really is, or is not, possible. This club will hopefully provide us a groundwork on which to build all other studies. Luna, if you please."

Luna Lovegood stood up. Having her go first was a major gamble on Harry's part, but he knew that it was his best choice. All of the other club leaders were not as strong as she was, nor as glib. Harry just hoped the brilliant Luna would be talking a bit more than the eccentric Looney.

"I talk of Nargles, Blibbering Humdingers, and Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, and often get mocked for it. I speak of the Heliophants, and Wrackspurts, and many other things that people mock. But what am I actually talking about? I need a volunteer to tell me what a Nargle, a Blibbering Humdinger, and a Wrackspurts is, respectively."

She paused, waiting. After several minutes, Hermione drew a deep breath, stood up, and answered. "Nargles are like small, nearly invisible bees that won't leave you be and steal your stuff. A Blibbering Humdinger makes nattering sounds that drown out useful thought and productive conversation, and a Wrackspurt is a type of creature that avoids conflict of any kind."

Luna smiled a dreamy smile as Hermione sat down. "Yes, all true. Just one more question. What ARE they?"

Hermione blinked, as did almost everyone. Everyone, that is, except for Luna and Harry. After several minutes of Hermione stuttering, she got it.

"I don't know."

Everyone was silent. No-one except for the two students at the front of the room knew. Finally, Luna gave a huge grin and gestured to Harry. He stood up, coughed lightly, looked around, and said one word.

"People."

Silence reigned for several minutes as no-one got it. Finally, with a sigh, Harry expounded. "Nargles are bullies who are continually annoying, like small, nearly invisible bees that won't leave you be. They also have a bad habit of stealing your stuff. A Blibbering Humdinger is simply a gossip, wasting good time with worthless speech. As for the Wrackspurts, they are the cowards of this school who are to weak-willed to do anything to help those in need, such as I was once upon a time to Luna Lovegood, but no longer. Of all the creatures she mentioned here today, the only one that is actually a mythical creature is the Heliophant, and exceptionally powerful form of rare, Micronesian light elemental. As for dear Ms. Lovegood's worldwide pursuit of the legendary Crumple-Horned Snorkack, well, it would be easier to say she just wants a friend."

A deep, ashamed silence reigned over the room for almost two minutes as people realized what this meant, particularly at the Ravenclaw table where the bullies and gossips sat. Years of insults and abuse, heaped on a girl for liberal use of allegory, and that whole time, she had been doing nothing more than DESCRIBING that abuse. Finally, Luna let them off the hook by continuing.

"Harry Potter did not ask me about this. He figured it out himself. Of all of the people here, he is the only one who listened well enough to get what I was saying. More embarrassingly still, no-one ASKED!" She shouted the last word, making everyone flinch. She giggled.

"Oh, good, you are still listening." Harry and a few others chuckled at the joke, but it didn't really make any of them feel better. Harry himself had taken two years to figure out this lonely girl's code, when it could have been solved in a ten-sentence conversation. He knew he would have to make it up to her, but for now, he let his attention come back to the conversation at hand.

"No-one asked, because everyone knew. They knew I was 'Looney', to pun a bit, so why ask about the crazy animals I 'saw'. This is the point of the club I am a part of. We will ask ALL the question to find ALL the answers. Then, we will share these answers with others. That is all."

As she skipped back to her seat, silence reigned. At the Ravenclaw table, shame was in abundance. The house of the wise had missed out on one of its students, and a bright one, if her goals were any indication, because they didn't take the time to find the answers. This, alone, meant that the population of CPU would skyrocket.

Harry had intended Nevil Longbottom to be next, but after that performance, he bumped him down one slot so the Weasley twins could go next. Luna's speech had left a bad taste in most mouths, particularly her head of house, so the Twin Terrors of Gryffindor would make a good encore to get everyone back into the needed headspace. After all, it didn't count as a good prank unless everyone was laughing.

"Right, then. The next club will be the Society of Mirth, Ingenuity, and Legality to the point of Excellence. This club is a loose-knit collection of inventors and salesmen with the express purpose of creating and propagating art for its own sake, while not abandoning functionality. In short, fun, pretty thing that still have value. To spearhead this group, we have Misters Gred and Forge Weasilby."

The applause was still rather muted, but it managed to be riotous as well. The Pranksters of Hogwarts were beloved by all, as long as you were out of the spotlight of the pranks. As was to be expected, they performed with aplomb and humor, showcasing several products and items of their own creation, as well as a few anecdotes about their past failures, including things like Boneless Buns, Full-Deck Exploding Snap (all of the crates blew up) and a few more. Then, oddly enough (for them) they got serious for a few minutes. The effect was somewhat enhanced by the fact that they started speaking in stereo.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we don't want you to get the wrong idea. We do love fun gadgets and interesting pranks, but there is another side you need to consider. We, as inventors, have been studying, researching, and even creating potions, spells, and enchantments for many years to get to the level of success we have today. We are skilled potion masters, trained under the care of Professor Snape himself, to whom we owe much gratitude…" They bowed to the man, bringing shock from much of the student body. The Weasley twins, showing respect to a teacher, and a snake? It was unbelievable.

George spoke by himself next. "But for spell creation, we learned that on our own, and had many near misses, many near-death experiences in the process. We joke about the more humorous mistakes, but there have been many, many dangerous encounters and dead lab animals that we are frankly to serious about to even bring up. Without proper care, both of us would be dead."

Fred piped up. "Not that we want to discourage any of you. On the contrary. That is why this club exists. Let's say that an experiment has a one-hundred-percent chance to kill you if you try it, and each additional person up to ten ads another five percent risk. Each person after ten ads another forty percent. If four people do the experiment, there is only a thirty percent chance of death per person. If ten people do it, the chance drops to fifteen percent risk each. Thus, an experiment that would kill any one person, is relatively safe when done by ten."

"That is the point of this club. Support, sharing, and assistance. No one person needs to take the risk by themselves. Add in the speed we can gain, and the information we can trade, and things get even better." George pointed out.

"Think of us like a guild hall." Fred expounded "Each product will have to pass certain safety test, in exchange for a magical seal of approval. The seal tells your customers that the product is safe and usable without any threat to them, boosting sales. In exchange, you only need to pay for whatever tests are necessary, instead of paying guild dues. Low cost, and a large boost to revenue."

George spoke back up. "Anyone can join for free, and we have a system where the costs for the tests can be rated out, knuts on the galleon, over the course of the first full year of sale, so no money is required up front. No necessary payment plan, either, as long as it is payed out by the end of the year, and at minimal interest, too. We also freely keep all necessary patents in four separate locations, at least, to prevent thievery, and they are all magically backed up."

Fred chimed back in. "After one full year of membership, or three completed patents, you automatically get entered in the guild roll, meaning you are recognized as a full member. That means at-cost access to materials, lab spaces, and even storage. At this point, you can become an inventor, specializing in designing new things, a salesman, spreading others products, a tester, verifying other people's inventions, or an investor, throwing your money behind others projects. All deals can be moderated and supervised by the guild, but they don't have to be. The choice is yours."

"Donations are NOT welcome, as most of the revenue is produced by certification, that is, rating people's skill, inventions, or knowledge based on levels. This is also optional, though it does boost sales and attention. The remaining money is produced through brokerage, particularly of unused ingredients, scrap material, or sales space." George concluded.

Fred then explained how they would use an ignored section of Hogwarts as the 'school location' until they could find permanent residence, then he and George came together to finish in harmony.

"We, like many of you, have ideas, dreams, and plans that may never see the light of day. With effort, we can come together and bring these ideas into reality, so that we can do our business with a SMILE!"

As they reached the end, they did a stage bow as fireworks went off behind them, forming into a giant yellow smiley face. The whole hall, teachers included, burst into applause, and much cheering was heard throughout the big room. Harry smiled in joy. This was the type of prank he loved. Beneficial to all, and funny to him. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the site of Minerva 'Fire-Breather' McGonigal clapping for the two troublesome lions with tears in her eyes. And Snape applauding while choking on a sneer? Priceless. This was going to be a fun meeting.

-HP—HP-

Compared to the Weasley's production, the announcement of deportment and culture classes from Nevil were quietly received, though many seemed interested. The Hufflepuffs announcing the building of an inter-house 'speakeasy' under Ernie MacMillan was well-received, as was the planned Ravenclaw-sponsored study spaces and tutoring aids. The offering of Pureblood politics classes under Daphne Greengrass was a large shock, but the strategy sessions under both Draco Malfoy (business planning and bureaucracy) and Ronald Weasley (chess) nearly caused a riot. Thankfully, though they met in the same place and at the same hour, the days were flipped so it went on day Draco, one day Ron, so as not to cause any problems, with Harry taking Fridays to cinch the two forms of strategies together. All in all, though it meant that Harry would be VERY busy, he knew that this would bring Hogwarts out of the dark ages, and into the light.

He flinched. That was poetic, a horrible hyperbole, and a bad pun, all at once! Seriously, he had to stop doing that.

Anyway, as the meeting started to wind down, as it was nearing curfew, the coup de gras was performed. Harry was delivering a speech about hope and unity, and the best wizarding school, or whatever, when the doors to the great hall opened and Dumbledore walked in. He had been looking for the other teachers for some time now, as he had a rather important staff meeting to hold about the Tri-Wizard Tournament and spying on/controlling Harry in case he was using dark magic to win, and had been confused when no-one had showed up. After several hours of searching various offices and apartments, even going so far as to go to Hagrid's hut to make sure they weren't there, he had finally made it to the great hall, not really expecting to find them, as they had no reason to be there. Imagine his surprise, then, when, not only were the teachers there, and all the students, but they seemed to be having some sort of meeting with HARRY POTTER in charge, AND THE BOY WAS SITTING IN HIS CHAIR! As soon as he walked in, silence reigned.

Harry froze as Dumbledore walked in. This was bad. Of all the people here, the only one who could blow this whole thing wide open was Dumbledore. He had to find a way to make sure that didn't happen. People had to believe that the headmaster had set this up, or it would all fall through, and Nevil and Luna would be alone again, not to mention the inter-house rivalry. Plus, Filch and Snape were just starting to look half-way pleasant. He steeled his nerves. He wouldn't let these people down. He needed people to believe he had permission to do this. After two beats of thought, he had it. A smile crept across his face, and he thanked Fate and Fortune for this opportunity. After all, he wasn't the only one with a reputation to uphold here.

Harry glanced up at the headmaster in panic, then down at an imaginary watch. With a soft curse, he spoke up.

"Headmaster, I am soooo sorry! I promised I wouldn't keep the kids out late or mess up your meeting this evening, and here I've done both. Kids, I'm afraid this is the end of the meeting. Don't forget to speak to the various leaders to state and interest in any of the things we talked about, and make sure to hurry off to bed. We have less than ten minutes until curfew, so, a round of applause for the teaching staff for their help in setting this up, the house-elves for the food, and a HUGE hand to or headmaster, for his help and guidance in this matter."

In seconds, the whole student body was on their feet, each House trying to outdo the others. The snakes were clapping politely, but they kept on going for a good five minutes, the Gryffindors were by far the loudest, the ravens were more intelligent, clapping in time to make it seem louder, while the badgers seemed the most heart-felt. All in all, it made it perfect so that no-one could talk to the teachers or headmaster without being out of bed late, making it so no-one could confirm or deny the teachers' involvement, and with a little care, Harry slipped right to the middle of the Gryphons, so no-one could see him or single him out on the way out. The whole group was chattering excitedly and planning on which of the clubs they would be signing up for, and the best part was the 'shocked speechless' look on Dumbledore's face.

Harry smirked to himself as he made his way to bed. Mischief managed, indeed.