The Diego Diaries: Clubbin' Pre-Luxe, Baby (dd7 342)
=0=Pit Stoppin'
Ratchet wandered in after a madcap morning in the Children's Museum. Everyone else was there as he pulled up a chair, gave an order for himself and the kids, then drew Orion, Praxus and Prowler out of his hold. They were set on the table, then smiled and headed out for an elder. After a moment of noise and monkey motion, Ratchet grinned at Blackjack. "So …"
He frowned at Ratchet. "Fragging genetics. I'm holding hard for Scout to just have a slow orn."
"You and me both," Ratchet said with a snicker. "That makes a passel of them in the works. Roto visits the Academy as well."
"I don't want to hear it," Blackjack grumped. "Slagging kids. You work hard to bring home the bacon, to keep the toy boxes full and the crib blankets warm and snugly. You even get a slagging cow and this happens. And the worst part is we don't have stairs handy."
Ironhide paused an onion ring to frown at his big old pa.
"You got that cow because you're a big baby, not because of the baby," Alor said with a snicker.
"Technicalities," Blackjack said to great scorn and laughter. "Where have you been if I can asked without collateral damage?"
Ratchet smiled. "We were at the Children's Museum all morning."
"APPA!"
"What, Muffin?" Blackjack said as he glanced at Orion with big gooey optics of love.
"MUFFIN! LOU SAYED I, ORION MUFFIN!" Orion said as he held a fry in his servos. The fry in his mouth fell onto the table.
A lot of seat rustling and "OMGS!" were had, then it settled.
Orion looked at the table as Amma Lissie got her napkin ready. He reached for it causing retching sounds everywhere before she beat him to it.
Ironhide watched Orion lingering between intense embarrassment and slavish admiration for the sparkling. At least he was trying to be neat.
"Well, wasn't that just … uh," Turbine began before he laughed loudly. He reached for Orion and set him on his arm. Handing him an onion ring, the baby smiled and happily began to eat it.
"That's a slagging fine museum," Blackjack said. "Scout likes climbing the sand piles."
"So do these imps," Ratchet said. "I had to rattle them like a salt shaker before we left."
Laughter greeted that.
"How's Cybertron?" Ratchet asked.
"Its incredible. All of the places where there was subterranean damage or cracking from the surface to the interior are repaired. We've yet to find subterranean systems that aren't repaired. All of the dumps all over the planet are cleared. Where the scrap went we don't know but its gone and so are the solvent dumps they created," Delphi said. "None of the grave sites are disturbed and the munitions that aren't consolidated where they were left. Scattered things like land mines and loose change stuff appears to be gone. Praise Primus and The One."
Everyone said the Cybertronian equivalent of amen to that miracle.
"Then we can build faster and better?" Ratchet asked.
"We can," Hardie said as he held Halo. That imp was leaning against his chassis chewing on a fry.
"What about your two sad sacks. How's the sand piles around the Temple?" Ratchet asked.
Raptor laughed. "I had them weigh the sand when they hauled it off. I stopped them after about fifteen tons. They're going to get the rest, too. Its like concrete. They have to pick ax, then shovel it out. We managed to get a couple of wheelbarrows delivered and we told the priests that we would manage it. Sort of a thank you to Primus and The One."
"They must be dragging," Ratchet said.
"Oh, they aren't happy," Hercy said with a grin …
^..^
The sun was nearly directly overhead when they trudged back to the berm with their empty wheelbarrows for the nth time. They'd lost track of how many what with their anger at each other. Their minds were preoccupied with other things.
Smokey parked his barrel, then picked up his pick ax. Swinging it overhead, he dropped it on the rock like sand berm shattering it satisfyingly. His form was a thing of beauty to see and if it had connected with anything sentient, his ax, there would be two pieces of it cleaved down the middle. It was satisfying, indeed, to see the berm shatter. There could be two barrels to haul from this one swing. He began to shovel a butt load into the big barrow.
Hot Rod parked his, then picked up his ax. With a swing, he broke off a bunch. Then another swing drew larger chunks. There was part work here because both were too big for the barrow.
"Nice move, Not Rod. One swing got me two loads. See ya later," Smokey said quietly as he began to trundle his load away.
Hot Rod stared after him with molten optics, then noted the pile Smokey had left behind. He began to shovel it into his own barrow, then kicked the big pieces he made over to Smokey. With a smirk of delightful bastardy, he began to trundle over to the dumpster which was getting full again. A big truck would come by to dump it, then replace it back for more. Roddy smirked at Smokey as he walked past him.
Smokey approached the site, then dropped his barrow with outrage. Notty had been just that. He had taken Smokey's battered and shattered sand pile. Two of Hot Rod's were in his digging place. He kicked them back, then picked up his ax again. By then, Hot Rod had returned. He stared darkly at the big mech as he stopped at his place and dropped his barrow, too. "You're a slime ball, Scum Rod."
Hot Rod glanced at Smokey. "Did someone say something here, Dopey? All I can see is a petulant child ranting."
Smokey dropped his ax. "Petulant? Look who's talking, Rot Rod."
Hot Rod glanced at Smokey, then swung on him.
Smokey jumped him, then they rolled on the ground slagging it out.
Sitting nearby with cold beer and lounging chairs, Kup and Hercy watched them with an optic toward technique.
"Roddy has some skill. So does the infant."
Kup nodded. "They both have promise."
[Silence]
"They're getting behind. I heard Raptor pledge them to the priests for the duration."
"Should we tell them?" Kup asked.
Hercy shook his helm. "No. We'll let Chevron do it."
Both old mechs glanced to the side to see Chevron walk toward them with a tray that held drinks and a treat. He slowed with concern as he reached the two mechs, then stared at the two kids rolling around on the ground cursing at each other.
"Oh," he said.
Hercy glanced at Kup who rose. He walked over, gripped each by the scruff of their necks, then jerked the two to their peds. They turned to swing on him, saw a solemn-faced Chevron, then froze. They both bowed their helms. "Lord Chevron," both said at the same time.
It would be awkward for a few moments as Chevron served them, then walked back to the Temple office and commissary nearby.
"Well, don't you two beat all?" Hercy said with a slight grin.
Both of them looked at him, then scowled at each other. Neither said a word.
"Best get at it," Hercy said. "When you get done, go apologize to Chevron. He's lead a very sweet and good life."
Both of them sullenly picked up their axes and began again. It would go on until lunch, then they'd be let go for the orn. They would lay a patch to leave. They would also apologize to Chevron and half the priests who were gathered in the room with him at the same time. He would sweetly accept. It would be a humbling experience for Not Rod and Dopey the Younger.
=0=The Pit Stop
Huge laughter greeted that story.
Raptor grinned at the pair. "Thanks. I'm supposed to run their afts off. You made a good start. How much sand do they have left do you think?"
"A good 35 tons. I think they cleared about 15," Kup said.
"Not a bad start," Raptor said as others agreed. "Might teach them to get along. A mech can't choose his friends or work colleagues sometimes. Both need a wack upside the helm."
"How long will you keep them?" Delphi asked.
"Until they get off Prowl's shit list," Raptor said.
"Then never," Delphi replied. No one argued with him.
=0=Later that afternoon
They left the pool at the Sports Center to head for home. Buses would come soon and there would be dinner and hoo-haw to get through before Prime's Posse, their running name, would hit the road to club.
Ratchet entered the apartment followed by Ironhide. Cows and kids hit the ground and ran like the wind for the toy boxes beyond. Plopping on his chair, Ratchet glanced at Ironhide. "So, Prime's Posse eh?"
Ironhide sat beside him with a grin. "Yep."
"Sounds like a bad aft motorcycle gang of cops gone wrong. What's your gang sign, desperado?" Ratchet asked.
Ironhide shrugged. "A heaping bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy?"
Ratchet laughed. "Sounds yummy."
"Well, you know," Ironhide said with a smug face. "We are."
"Won't get an argument out of me," Ratchet said with a big laugh.
"What's the drill with kids?" Ironhide asked.
"We're coming here, those with kids who are free. Turbine wants Scout and Prowler so he gets them," Ratchet said. "Something about scout stuff under a tent in the living room."
"Sounds like fun," Ironhide said.
"What's the itinerary of the progress?" Ratchet asked.
"Well, we plan to get slag faced, play darts, pool, cards, dance, sing, show our manly figures … you know. Cut a wide swath," Ironhide said with a smirk and a lot of flair.
"What's this about going to play golf?" Ratchet asked. "I know the course is going to open soon but Prime gets first crack?"
"He does," Ironhide said. "This slagging course covers about a 1,000 square miles."
"Does it?" Ratchet asked as he calculated how far Prime could smack a ball with a club.
"Nope but its big. Eighteen holes and all that," Ironhide said though he was still vague on the details.
They both downloaded details. They were awesome.
"Do you have to wear those goofy pants, a dopey shirt and funky shoes? You know … my kind of stuff?" Ratchet asked with a chuckle.
Ironhide perused the image file with 'Golf'. "Frag no."
"Well, good then," Ratchet said. "I want film."
"Nope," Ironhide said with a grin.
Orion ran out. "ATAR! COMED LOU TO ME?!"
"Coming," Ironhide said as he rose to follow the imp into the hallway.
Ratchet watched them go, then called someone.
:This is Lennox:
:Hey, Lennox: Ratchet replied off line. "I was wondering what you were doing tonight ..."
=0=A moment later
Lennox grinned a moment as he sat with the command team, Fulton and Morshower at the conference table in the big conference room at N.E.S.T. HQ in The City.
"What's the joke?" Graham asked as they took a pause in the monthly meeting on site for the call.
"Ratchet told me that 'Prime's Posse' is going clubbin' tonight," Will replied.
"Prime's Posse?" Glenn Morshower asked with a chuckle.
"Yeah," Will said. "He wants me to go and film it. Apparently, the rumor is true. They've just build an eighteen hole golf course and asked Prime to come by tonight to try it out."
It was silent a moment, then John Fulton sat back in his chair. "Damn," he said with a trace of awe in his voice.
"Ditto," Morshower said as the others nodded.
They would be there, shadowing the Posse in super stealth mode.
=0=Later that night at 1600 joors on the TMC
Ironhide hugged the kids, then walked to the door. Delphi, Turbine and Prowl were already there. Kids were in the different berth rooms or down the other end with the big kids and Sunspot. He glanced at the group which would swell to a goodly size when the others arrived. "See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya." He walked out the door with a jaunty flair.
Delphi snorted. "Slagger would be lucky to be us."
It was on.
=0=TBC 7-31-2020