The Diego Diaries: Clubbin at the Club House (dd7 345)
=0=Golfing and Goofing
The ball flew away and landed on the green. It rolled and rolled, ending up near the hole. Hardie chuckled, then looked at the others. "Like that?" he asked to huge laughter and congratulations.
Sun swaggered upward to the tee, sighted downfield, then swung without finesse. It flew away into the darkness, then landed on the edge of the green. Laughing, he handed the club to Jack who walked up, whacked the ball hard, then watched it fly away.
They looked downfield waiting for the ball to land on the green. It didn't. Jack stared at the field, then the club, then the field. "Where did it go?"
The laughter was loud, the mockery hard and by the time he put another ball on the tee, he took better measurements. He hit it again and landed it on the green. Glancing back, he smirked. "Do we go there?"
Delta laughed. "We do, General."
They swaggered and staggered forward heading down field an almost indecent distance before they reached the green. The humans were riding on the servos of the most sober, their vehicles left at the parking lot of the club house. They watched the lie of the land, a sand base combed to a sleekness that rolled with the terrain. The course had gravel pits instead of water traps, something that looked horrendous to climb out of. There were sand traps as well which were made from black and blue sand.
The balls lay on the ground which was made visible by discreetly placed lights that lit up the area. The hole had a flag with the number 1 in Arabic numbers for humans and Cybertronian from Simkeen and NeoCybex, the official languages of the colony for everyone else.
Prime glanced at Delta. "What now?" he asked.
"Well, Lissie gets to go first. You have to tap the ball into the hole," he said as he pulled a putter from her bag which was being carried by Flint. He handed it to her after demonstrating. She walked to the ball, checked the angles, did the math, then took her stance. She tapped it, Delta removed the flag, then all watched it go into the hole. She grinned. "Like that?"
Delta laughed. "Perfect."
"Your turn, Orion," Tagg said as he stood beside his son.
Optimus glanced at his father, then the hole in the ground. "I must put the ball into the little hole then."
"I think so," Tagg said with a grin. "Did you see what Lissie did? You do the same."
"Very well," he said sweetly as he walked to Lissie to take her club. He posed over his ball with it, then frowned slightly. "This thing is very short."
Huge laughter greeted that as Tagg, Prime's caddy walked to him with a putter from Prime's bag. "Try this one, Orion."
Prime took it with a grin. "Thank you, Atar," then wandered trying to find his ball until Delta helped him find it among the others. Prime took a stance, stared at the hole, then drilled it.
:Damn. Even drunk they hit the holes. They never miss when they throw a beer can in the recycler either: Will Lennox said.
:Good to know. If we ever get barracked into a brewery, we still have a chance: Glenn Morshower said with a chuckle.
Jack, Sun and Hardie drilled the hole, too, and by the time they played nine holes, their scores were identical but for one of them. Each had a total round score of eighteen but for Jack who had nineteen because he had to tee off twice.
Delta and his team who were taking notes weren't thrown off by the final scores. Soldiers of this caliber did very well. They were the only group that managed to do this kind of game. Most other players who had beta tested the early version played less capably in terms of accuracy so the challenge of this course was high. When you lived with a gun in your hand for eons you seldom missed your targets.
They gathered on the parking lot of the club house, amused and delighted with the game.
"I wonder if its harder when you're sober. I'm dragging old mech out for a round or two," Ironhide said around the buzz in his helm. "I can show him my fine figure when I hit the little ball thing."
Everyone looked at Ironhide, then smiled. His elders were standing around his slightly tipsy form ready to catch their little mech. Effusive thanks were given to Delta-2 and the team during the interlude waiting for the bus. It came at last, they staggered on, put the humans and their little vehicles inside and drove off.
Delta and his team watched them go.
A young mech glanced at Delta. "I've never seen a Prime get drunk before."
"You never saw Sentinel," Delta said with a chuckle. "I will say … it looks good on Optimus." He glanced at his team. "Let's go inside and tweak things. We have bookings for tee times starting at dawn. They walked inside with a bounce in their steps. They got a Prime on the orn after Festival, their holiest day to play on their course. Their luck couldn't get better than that now and going forward.
=0=On the bus to their next rambling, shambling stop
:Whenever we took bus trips we'd sing '100 Bottles of Beer On The Wall': Bobby Epps said as he winked at Niall.
"What's that?" Sideswipe asked.
They showed them.
^..^At the Stables for Round Two at last
"YOU TAKE IT DOWN AND YOU PASS IT AROUND, 87 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!"
^..^
They staggered down, then walked onward heading toward the stables where Springer had the night crew make a team of saddle horses ready for the fun and games.
Tagg walked beside his son who was happy, slightly tipsy but functional. "The last time you rode, Orion, you fell off a lot."
"I did. Jumping those fences was harder than it looked," Optimus replied to great amusement. "I plan to do better this time."
They reached the paddock where a lot of saddled horses were waiting. The arena beyond was quiet, though ordinarily there were riders and classes all during the orn and solitary riders during the night. It almost never was quiet.
"Here you go," Sparley said as he began to have them led out.
It took a bit of effort for some of them to mount up but soon all were plodding into the arena for the fun. They meandered around, then began to gallop together around the huge space. Fences were still up from jumping classes so Prime kicked his horse forward. The big stallion startled, then began to gather speed.
"Oh-oh," Springer said as he rode slowly with a number of bots who were either newbies or drunk. "Prime's going to spring something."
Prime was going at a good rate when he approached the first fence. Up he went, one with his horse … he wasn't a novice rider both as an owner and a father of horse crazy kids so over he went. Down he came, then booked it for the three that were coming up. Over the first, then the second he went. His horse went over the third but Prime didn't. He bit the biscuit on the ground.
Hard.
Tagg rode over to his son with half the group, then slid down to the ground. He reached Prime, then rolled him over. "Orion?" he asked with anxiety.
Prime onlined then grinned. "I think I want to do that again."
Huge relief and laughter was expressed as they helped him up. Getting him on the horse was harder but soon he was galloping around again. Faster and faster he went, then over the jumps he flew. He cleared them all, then let go to raise his arms high. He stayed on a long while before falling backward over the horse's powerful rump to land on the ground.
Hard.
It was a madhouse to reach him but they did. He was rolled over.
"Orion?" Tagg asked anxiously.
Optimus onlined then glanced at his father. "Hello, Atar. What are you doing here?" Then he glanced around at the faces peering down at him. "Where am I?"
"I think we're done here," Hardie said with a chuckle.
Tagg and Prime would sit nearby watching the hoo-haw of cowboys chasing more cowboys until everyone fell off enough that it wasn't that much fun any longer. They walked their horses in, thanked the night crew, then limped out to go to Retriades for drinks, dancing, games and triage.
A white 'party bus' rolled down the road to the Eight Ball.
=0=Up there
It was getting late when some of the ammas and adas began to poop out. Ratchet who was talking to himself was left in the chair as Miler and Docker organized everyone to go home. They walked some down to wait for their cabs, helped others across the hall to their homes or up and down the elevator to their apartment's floor. When both walked back into the apartment, Ratchet, Prowl and Alor were snoring in a deeply inebriated way.
Docker laughed. "Sad sacks. Why don't you go home, Miler? I can organize this."
"I will help you, Docker. No sense leaving it like this," Milie said as they both began to clean up the apartment. They did so with Ratchet snoring in his chair, Alor laying passed out in the hallway nearby and Prowl laying half on, half off the couch by the window. All of the children were sleeping either here or next door with Ravel and Corr. It was an amusing half joor before both of them rearranged the three mechs, then walked out to get Miler a cab to the Vos Tower in Metroplex.
=0=Night Club District, Retriades, the 'Eight Ball'
They had traveled through the eight side-by-side metrotitan cityscapes know as 'the Eight Ball' before reaching the last one, the mighty Retriades. This was the club, restaurant, theater and bar district which was always high flying at night, especially on the weekends. They climbed and stumbled out of it, then took in the scene as the bus drove away.
"Where do we go now?" Prime asked Raptor who was checking out the handheld he had downloaded every amusement possible to be had here. "How about eating something? There's a restaurant down the road here that has oriental food. I think I want some Thai."
Everyone thought that was a good idea, so they followed Raptor including Ironhide who needed a rudder to follow along. They reached the restaurant, The Rice Bowl, then entered to be seated at three large tables along a back wall. Orders were given by Raptor who just guessed, then ordered the Cybertronian version of Saki and Moutai, a brand of Chinese liquor called Baijiu. It was highly alcoholic, something none of them knew and had a sweet flavor. He guessed on both of those, too.
Sitting back to wait for a load of food and drinks, everyone gazed at Prime.
Hardie grinned. "How do you feel, Optimus?"
"I feel fine, Hard Drive. I think I fell a couple of times but I do not remember," Optimus said.
"That's for us to do, Optimus," Hercy said fondly.
The drinks came and so did dishes that were new to everyone but for a few of the Thai recipes which were popular on world. They dug in, sipping the liquor and Saki. It was highly, highly potent, both of them.
"We can go to the club down the street, Pivot after this," Raptor said as he ate his food and sipped the booze. "I think I want to dance." He glanced at his grandson. "What about you, Ironhide? How ya holding up?"
Ironhide who was holding a bowl in front of his face as he emptied it into his mouth with chopsticks glanced at his grandfather. "I'm good." He sat the bowl down, picked up his full glass, then knocked it back. He savored it a moment, then fell forward on his face. The glass rolled across the table to his father.
Blackjack picked it up. "Little mech could never handle the hard stuff."
"No," Hard Drive said with a chuckle. "Who's sober enough to help us carry him. I just watched a movie the other orn called 'Weekend At Bernie's'."
Huge laughter greeted that as several volunteered. They ate, drank and made merry until it was time to go to the club nearby. They would stagger out with many thanks carrying an unconscious Ironhide among several of them. When they got to the club, they would prop him in a chair at the table, the first of many stops that night and then the fun would begin.
Gotta dance, gotta dance, gooottttaaaa dance!
=0=TBC 8-4-2020
Weekend At Bernie's is an old comedy where a guy dies and two other guys have to make sure everyone believes he's alive. They have to take the body everywhere they go and its pretty damned funny. The actor playing the dead guy was very amusing.