Misato
"Do you really think this is a good idea, Misato?" Ritsuko asked.
That was a hell of a question to ask this late, Misato thought. The elevator descended toward the hall of Rei clones. An armbar and a threat of disclosing personal information had managed to get Ritsuko to move. Now, she had effectively damaged her sole adult friendship, and she rode the border of betraying the organization that separated humanity from extinction.
Thus, Captain Katsuragi spoke her mind. "I've come too far to turn back, regardless of what I think."
"Not true." Ritsuko reached toward the elevator buttons. "I just need to hit any one of these and—"
"Don't."
Misato hated this. Every moment of this overdue confrontation was an insult to their friendship. That only made it more important to get this over with. The more she delayed the argument, the worse it would be. Already, her perception of her friend was warped and ugly. Those qualities which Misato most respected now seemed dangerous. Ritsuko's intelligence had become a cunning. Her ability to work a crowd now seemed manipulative.
Her confidante, the one source of consistency in a cruel world, had become alien to her.
Thus, one woman stood in front of the doors, stolidly facing forward. The other leaned against the wall, annoyedly sniffing and looking to the side. It seemed to be the slowest elevator ride she'd ever taken. Reason prevailed. No good would come of awkwardly waiting silent in the elevator.
Misato said, "Ritz, why are you hiding something from me?"
"I don't know what you're—"
Suddenly, fingers dug into the shoulder of a lab coat. The scientist twitched in pain as Misato used her military-level training. "Don't bullshit me."
Dr. Akagi swatted at the hand on her shoulder, saying nothing. Misato stayed firm. Come on, she thought. Please, just ask me to let go. All you have to do is tell me to stop.
That was the most damning evidence, or at least the most frustrating. Not once had Ritsuko made any appeal to their friendship. There was no question of 'why don't you trust me?' From the start, Ritsuko had been misdirecting her and focusing her attack on so-called sensibility and duty. She appealed to the authority of Nerv and Gendo and everything else. It wouldn't have taken much. All Ritsuko had to say was 'listen to me.'
Misato was acting on the words of a kid in a pig mask! Ritsuko had been her friend longer than Inosuke had been alive! Why, then, wasn't this person using the most valuable card she had?
If anything, Ritsuko had been drifting further and further away from her.
An old conversation came to mind: the hedgehog's dilemma. Getting close means wounding the other person. Here was an example of an inverse. Ritsuko tried to keep her friend at arm's length. Misato wanted to push closer. The distance hurt. The forced removal was more painful and distressing than their closeness ever had been.
The elevator doors opened. The jagged remains of Inosuke's work poked out. That was ignored. The sight in the middle of the room swept away all other thoughts. Ritsuko pulled out of Misato's grip and rushed into the room.
"What did you do?" Misato asked.
An eerie stranger floated in the centre of the room. In the central pillar of LCL fluid, casting a warm glow on them all, sat a mix of people. It was Rei. The features were undeniable. The nose, the cheekbones, even the hairstyle. Yet, it couldn't be Rei. The physique was defined. The frame was small, but not frail. This was androgyny personified. That which was slender on Rei was sculpted on this body. The traces of Zenitsu were small but noticeable. Mainly, the hair gave it away.
The stranger took on her gaze as if languishing in it. The person was incredible. Small but strong but frail but tough. Male but female but both but neither.
The stranger's eyes were open. Bright red eyes stared down at Ritsuko. They were wide and curious.
"As I thought," Ritsuko sighed. Her voice became louder, speaking to Misato even as she looked up at this not-Rei. "The power outage woke Nephilim. Somehow, I think they restored the power."
Misato's gaze wandered to the rest of the room. The walls of Rei all stared at this creature called Nephilim. They were like dolls. Despite the faint sound of laughter, they seemed devoid of life. They merely floated, keeping their non-focus on the figure in the centre of the room. "Wait…" Misato said, still looking over the clones. "How could that even work? This thing just turned the power back on?"
"My name is Nephilim," they said. "I will bring instrumentality."
Misato's eyes snapped to Ritsuko. The scientist stiffened, her shoulders hunching as her hair stood on end.
"Ritz," Misato said. "Why did you make Nephilim? What is Instrumentality? In that order."
Inosuke
It should've been a celebration. They'd won, right? Yet, there were no cheers. There wasn't even a smile. Zenitsu had been wheeled into Inosuke's room, woozy out of his mind on painkillers.
"Something's wrong," Inosuke said after the nurses left.
"You're only realizing this now?" Zenitsu grunted. His eyes swam about the room. Those pain meds seemed to affect people differently. They'd put Inosuke to sleep pretty quickly. Zenitsu, on the other hand, was acting like a strange kind of drunk. He swung his hand around, slowly contorting his fingers until one pointed out accusingly. He cast the finger to Inosuke. "Don't say such ominous things without context. Explain!"
Inosuke grunted, unconsciously pulling his boar mask closer into his side. "Shinji should have been here by now."
"Shinji?" Zenitsu rubbed his eyes. "Always Shinji with you lately. Why do you care about that kid so much? He's creepy."
Inosuke stayed silent and still for a while. He couldn't deny it. "You remember how the demons felt in the last moments? When we heard about how sad their lives were?"
"Not like I could forget."
"Shinji reminds me of that."
"What?" Zenitsu rolled back and forth on his pillow in drunken swings. "You're calling the guy a demon?"
"No! It's not like that. It's… Dammit! How do I explain it? Tanjiro said it, too. Shinji's not a bad kid. Hell, he's a damn good pilot. He helped us out, didn't he? He figured out the blueprints for us. He got the maps together. The kid's helped us work against his own father. That takes guts. Everything he's done takes guts."
"Funny, though." Zenitsu chuckled. "For a guy with so much guts, he's a coward."
Inosuke mumbled, "Not like you can talk."
"What?" Zenitsu rolled his head toward Inosuke. From his placid expression, it was easy to tell he hadn't heard Inosuke.
The self-taught warrior leaned back. It was just as fair to call Shinji a coward as it was to call Zenitsu a coward. Yet, both of them fought in the end. Both of them killed monsters. If anything, Shinji was the braver, as far as Inosuke was concerned. Shinji had been thrown into an Eva, a weapon with which he had no experience, and then had been forced to fight. His own father used him like a tool, something to be replaced rather than improved. There definitely wasn't a chance of his feelings being respected.
"Shinji's being used. I think everyone is. I don't know if it's Gendo, or all of Nerv, or someone above Gendo, but there's some shady shit happening. Shinji's important in this. He's a damn good Angel Slayer. Kid's saved this Japan more than a few times. If the Angels came one-at-a-time, I don't think they'd even need you, me, or Tanjiro."
"Yeah, yeah. So, Shinji's important to some master plan. Is that what you're saying? He's the middle piece of a puzzle. Be nice to him so he doesn't squash us next time he's in the Eva?"
"No!"
"I don't get it, then." Zenitsu closed his eyes. His voice became heavy. "Why do you care so much about Shinji?"
Inosuke sighed. "Because nobody gives him credit. He gets his brain messed up every time he steps in an Eva. He's left a piece of himself in that thing every battle. He's got the invisible battle scars. But no one cares. No 'good job'. No 'you're great'. You and me would hear every day that our effort was worth something. Even when we were being drilled back to health, there was always this idea. We were strong enough to make it this far! We'd done something up to that point, even if we didn't go further! Shinji? Hell, everybody thinks he's a coward and a prick."
"He is a coward and a prick."
Inosuke bit his tongue. He thought back to the time he'd given up. He'd refused to go to training for days at a time. How long had he passed in that state of hopelessness? Was that cowardice? Exhaustion? He'd done it. Zenitsu had done it. From what he heard, most of the Demon Slayer Corps. had spent some time like that.
Shinji didn't have that option. Oh, you want a break? You don't want to submerge yourself in blood? Shinji, you little bitch, why aren't you piloting the giant monster? Why don't you trust the assholes and maniacs around you?
Inosuke would've gone crazy by this point if he'd been in Shinji's case. A horrible thought occurred. He might have killed someone. Imagine that. A strange, nauseas guilt swelled within him. He would have killed someone. All those renewed oaths and promises to protect humanity would have meant nothing. Hell, even now, he thought about murdering Gendo.
Inosuke slammed his head against his pillow and wailed. "I don't get it!"
A pompous "Hmph!" burst into the room in a flurry of red hair. "You could be talking about anything. What's got our piggy confused this time?"
Inosuke's retort caught in his throat as Zenitsu spat out a question. "Where's Rei?"
It was almost as if he'd shaken off the effects of the painkillers. Inosuke turned to his friend to see him leaning toward Asuka, grabbing the edge of the hospital bed and moving as much as his leg brace would allow.
Something's happened, Inosuke thought. More was at work than he first figured.
Asuka put her hands on her hips and stepped into the room. "Miss Perfect? She went to go talk to Commander Ikari."
"Dammit!" Zenitsu slammed his fist against his bed. "Dammit! Why's that girl being so impulsive now? She spent so long barely being human, and now she's too careless!"
"Cool it, thunderhead," Asuka said.
Inosuke made a mental note of the phrase 'thunderhead', silently determining to call Zenitsu by the name every chance he got from then on.
The red-haired pilot stepped to the foot of Inosuke's bed, then looked between the two Slayers. She was easy to read, unlike so many people in this Japan. Inosuke could feel a steady supply of anger radiating from her, the energy of which fed a hungry ambition. Now, every part of his stance gave away her thoughts. There was an obstacle to her ambition. She thought that the two injured warriors held something she needed to progress.
"Is this about that green-haired Rei you told me about?"
Zenitsu snapped to his friend. "You told her?"
"Yeah." Inosuke turned back to him. "Why are you acting so angry toward Rei?"
Zenitsu shook his head. He looked between Asuka and Rei, then explained, "We were going to confront Gendo together. She told me that there's something weird happening. That green-haired thing is some weird combo. They used my blood, and they did something to her. I don't get all of it, but Gendo knows something about it. She promised me that she'd wait until we could go together."
"Hmph!" Asuka rolled her eyes. "Sounds like you two have rubbed off on her. It's hard to say she's the impulsive one when you fought an Angel alone on a broken foot."
Zenitsu barked off half an insult, but quickly cooled down. The excuses were crushed as soon as they came to his mind. Asuka crossed her arms. "Geez, everybody's acting crazy. First, Shinji rushed off in a huff, then Rei. Now you're—"
"Where's Shinji?" Inosuke asked.
Asuka tilted his head. "He went to go find Tanjiro or something. Maybe figure out where he's been transferred."
"Transferred?" Inosuke and Zenitsu screamed the word in unison.
Shinji
Infection.
Tanjiro had been swirling through the debris of a city that had been submerged for over a decade. Rust, glass, and all kinds of rot had been churning through the water with him. The thing that chipped off part of his skull might have been rusted.
Whatever the case, Tanjiro's condition had worsened. The sudden power outage only aggravated matters. His heart had stopped, again. There had been a complete absence of brain activity for an unknowable amount of time.
Some part of Shinji wanted to doubt it. It was impossible when he actually saw his friend. The doctors refused to let him into the room. Considering the Slayers' reaction to LCL fluid, and the fact that Shinji regularly bathed in the stuff, it was deemed unwise to let a pilot within the same room, for fear of what the result might be.
He'd stopped arguing soon enough. Tanjiro looked like a corpse. His skin had become as grey as unseasoned dough. Even the scar seemed to have lost some of its colour. The pallid arm that had once been so disturbing was now the same pale shade as the rest of the body. Monitors surrounded the hospital bed. More wires and machines were involved than before.
Life support.
Tanjiro Kamado could not function without the aid of artificial organs. The mighty warrior was now a sad imitation of life.
It didn't remove suspicion, of course. Shinji quickly noticed that there were more needles attached to the withered arm than the muscular one. Still, they wanted to keep Tanjiro alive. While he stared at his friend, Shinji remembered something: everyone in Nerv wanted to defeat the Angels. Regardless of everything else, they were united in that. Whatever disputes or violence might break out after the Angels were dealt with, they were temporarily united.
So long as the Angels pushed against them, they were together. Shinji's dad wasn't stupid enough to kill an Angel Slayer during all this, right? That'd be the same as killing a pilot. It was ridiculous.
So, Shinji stared through the window into Tanjiro's room.
Tanjiro
"Everyone's gonna die, Tanjiro."
The Demon Slayer gasped and jolted upright. His surroundings came into view. Panic rose. He fought to quell it. He saw Muzan's palace. The Infinite expanse of tatami mats and paper walls stretched above and around him. Intricate patterns and detailed paintings were displayed on every wall. The only light came from lanterns and candles within some of the cubed rooms. Most of the light was dull, filtering through the thin walls and floors.
The shadows and sharp angles made it look like a vision of Hell. Several seconds passed before Tanjiro realized all was still. The floors didn't move. No new door opened. He lay alone on a futon on a slab of tatami.
For an awful moment, he thought Muzan might appear. Or some member of the Upper Six. This terrible place didn't exist anymore. Something horrible was happening. Scrambling to his feet, Tanjiro gripped the hilt of his blade and prepared for battle.
It was silent. The air was stale. Nothing moved.
Slowly, he noticed the strangest part of the situation. His withered hand was gripping his sword. It should have been withered, at least. An old instinct made this hand grasp the weapon. He released the hilt and stretched out both arms. They appeared the same as each other, firm with muscles, calloused with wounds. Tanjiro opened and closed his hands several times. The weaker arm felt perfect. His 'good' arm felt numb. Its movements were sluggish. It felt as if he were moving it through water.
Another realization hit as he stared at his hands. His vision was strange. Tanjiro had grown used to the skewed vision of a single eye, but this skew was different. It was a slight difference, but it unnerved him. He put a hand in front of his 'good' eye. Nothing changed. He covered his demonic eye. His palm filled his vision.
His body tensed. In the absence of an enemy, Tanjiro could only try to contain his fear. When he pulled his hand away, a mirror had appeared in front of him.
"Take your time."
It was his own voice. It sounded as if it were coming from multiple directions.
The reflected version of him was monstrous. The reflection stood shirtless, with his skin baring the checkered pattern of his cloak. The demon eye shone a brilliant pink, while the human eye had neither iris nor pupil. The scar spread over most of the face in an uneven pattern. As Tanjiro gaped with confused horror, he saw the reflection's fangs. It wasn't quite a demon. Still, it was horrifying.
This strange vision followed his movements perfectly. "It's important you take your time." The reflection's mouth moved as it spoke. The speaking comforted Tanjiro more than it frightened him. The voice didn't come from his own throat. Even if he were going mad, that detail brought him some desperately sought comfort.
"The final act is about to begin. What will you do?"
Tanjiro shut his eyes, gripped his sword, and breathed. This strange vision was of no concern to him. This monstrous thing could say nothing to convince him otherwise. "You aren't me," he said finally.
"Nope. I'm just a part of you."
Tanjiro unsheathed his blade. "I'll give you ten seconds to explain before I destroy the mirror."
"When you fought the Angel, its blood mixed in the water. When you knocked your head open, some Angel blood made its way inside you."
Tanjiro remained still. "That sounds threatening, but what does it mean?"
"It means you're the first person ever to have human, demon, and Angel blood mixing in you all at once. Your demon side had an intense reaction to it. Those remains of Muzan got some life pumped into them."
Tanjiro gasped. "No…"
"Muzan's dead. Don't worry. I'm not Muzan coming back. No, this is all about you. Tanjiro Kamado's got a demon inside him. You can turn into a demon if you'd like. Who knows what affect the Angel blood would have? I think it'd be cool."
Tanjiro stepped forward. "I've heard enough."
"Many Angels will attack at once. What if they overwhelm your friends? You could be stronger as a demon."
"That sounds stupid."
Tanjiro struck the mirror. It shattered and fell over. He kicked it over the side of the tatami cube for good measure.
As the mirror tumbled down, Tanjiro heard sobbing. "I don't want to die."
He wasn't alone. The implication of the voice meant nothing to him. Even the reflection quickly left his mind. That didn't matter. Tanjiro lived ito save others. He would do so, regardless of what may come to him.
The warrior cried out: "Where are you?"
"I don't want to die."
Tanjiro jumped to one of the neighbouring room cubes, slashing through the paper wall to make his entrance. "I'm here! I'll help you! Where are you?"
"I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Why was I born?"
The sound seemed to be coming from above him. Tanjiro ran, jumped, and slashed his way through the maze of paper and dried grass. All the while, he heard the refrain. "I don't want to die. Why was I born? I shouldn't exist."
"Can you hear me?" Tanjiro yelled. The voice didn't respond.
Eventually, he found the source. He smashed into a room where a girl sat naked on the floor, hunched forward and lurching as if heaving. "I don't want to die." The refrain came in retches. The muscles of her back were so taut it looked painful. Her blue hair was matted with sweat. "Rei!" Tanjiro rushed forward, pulled off his cloak, and put it over her.
"What happened?"
Immediately, she gripped the cloak and hugged it around herself. She seemed to be trying to make herself as small as possible. The red eyes stared at nothing. They froze, open as if some invisible hand prevented her from blinking. A glassy, desperate expression gaped ahead. "What am I?"
"Rei, talk to me."
He put his hand on her shoulder.
Instantly, the world vanished. Colours splashed over his vision. A million Reis stood in front of him, quaking away from him in terror. Change. He saw as if from within a chamber of orange liquid. Arms and legs floated past him. The limbs were unnaturally small and thin. It looked like the muscles had never been used. They were as small and still as a doll's limbs.
The moon appeared. The earth. Muzan. His ancestors. Blood and planets and Evas and Angels. His family laughed. They lay dead. Nezuko appeared. Her hair turned blue and her eyes turned red. Muzan appeared, his red eyes glowered as his hair changed colour.
All vanished. He was back in the tatami room. "No. No. No. No. No." The word shot out of Rei. Tanjiro reeled back. He'd become lightheaded. Feeling left his legs as his knees buckled.
There was an empty frame on the wall, as if for a painting. The reflection of Tanjiro stepped into the frame from the side. "Looks like I was wrong. There's something a lot stronger and more intense than a demon here."
Suddenly, the wall was torn away. A giant, snow-white body stretched out before him. A massive ghost of Rei stood there. Her lips stretched back in a horrible grin, as if hooks pulled her mouth open. The massive eyes, each taller than Tanjiro, opened as if invisible fingers pried open the lids. The grotesque mockery of happiness leered forward. Tanjiro saw his reflection in her eye, his true reflection, a bewildered former warrior with a limp arm and blind eye.
Suddenly, the giant leaned away from him. It writhed, its arms curling around its body as if it were in pain. It turned and twisted.
Suddenly, it snapped up. Its face had changed. The smile was small and soft. The lower lip seemed frozen, barely open enough to show teeth. Slowly, it moved closer. The whole of its body floated toward him. It had become sensual.
He blinked. There was a butterfly bow in the giantess' hair. The eyes were larger, purple. The arms stronger, the chest larger. The demure smile became confident and condescending.
Tanjiro blinked, it was a nightmare version of the demure Rei, reaching out to him.
"No!" Rei, still clutching the cloak around her, stood in front of Tanjiro. "You're not me! You're not me!"
The warrior shut his eyes. A monster threatened an innocent. He fought monsters. Therefore, he resolved to fight.
With a large breath, Tanjiro leapt to his feet and unsheathed his blade. The small Rei turned to him. She grabbed his wrist and pulled. "We need to go. You can't kill it."
Suddenly, all went black. They stood alone on a small disk of light.
Rei wasn't herself. Shinobu stood before him. His own cloak hung about her. "Ara?" she asked, turning around. "Where are we?" She didn't seem to notice that her only garb was the hakama. Tanjiro found himself glancing down. As he did, he blinked. Rei was there, curling away from him. "I don't want to die. I don't want to die."
Tanjiro open and shut his eyes several times.
The images came and went too quickly for him to feel true terror. He was too confused.
"Well, it's easy."
Suddenly, there were in front of a derailed train. The twisted version of Tanjiro stood before then. The giantess Rei peeked out from behind trees. "Your mind and her soul. Angel, demon, human, clone. We want you to unite."
The large Rei stretched a hand from the tree.
"Come on!" Tanjiro grabbed Rei and began running.
"It's hopeless," Rei mumbled.
"That's never stopped me before! So, please shut up if you're not gonna be constructive."
Misato
She shook her head. "You experimented on a child."
"Don't misunderstand," Ritsuko snapped. "Rei was an experiment from the start. You know that. The most surprising thing was that she volunteered for part of the experiment."
"Shut up, Ritz. Just… shut up."
She leaned against the glass. Behind her, she knew, the Rei-clones stared at Nephilim. The Inter-Human stared down at Ritsuko. Misato couldn't think about it. All of it was absurd. It made some twisted sense, but she hated it.
"You asked to know, Captain." Ritsuko looked up to Nephilim as she spoke. "Now, this is how things are."
Nephilim said nothing. They merely watched.
Dark thoughts came through Captain Katsuragi's mind. If this was what the guardians of humanity did to protect them all, was it worth the effort? Quickly, she shook the thought from her mind. That wasn't what disturbed her. It was the opposite. This was a cold, sterile approach to humanity. There are going to be more catastrophes. People will continue to be monsters to each other.
From that, Nerv decided to change humanity.
Who the hell were they to make that decision? Forcing everyone to merge like that? That'd destroy everything, anyway. On a larger scale, that would reshape the world more than the Impacts. Misato could not abide that.
More than anything, it made her uncomfortable. She could probably be convinced it was a good idea, if given time. Ritsuko and Gendo and Kaji believed it. They were intelligent and persuasive.
A dull thud sounded behind her. Misato turned to see that a vacant-eyed Rei had thudded the glass, carried obliviously by the currents of LCL.
"That settles it," Misato said. "We're monsters."
"Most people are," Ritsuko said casually. "The few who aren't are either impotent or cowardly."
"I am beautiful," Nephilim said. "I am the space between you and Instrumentality."
Neither woman spoke for a while. The uncomfortable silence lingered. Misato tried not to think. Why had she done all of this, anyway? Because of children. She'd gotten swept up in what those kids had said. Now, what? Without Nerv, everyone would die to Angels. As much as she wanted to criticize the thought process which had created Rei, it had saved them. The human race would have perished multiple times over without her. There was a demented comfort in having a back-up Rei, too, in case she died,
Misato said nothing as Ritsuko walked up to her. "So, Captain, what are you going to do?"
She sighed. "No matter what you've said. It doesn't change the fact that you've lied to me. You and Kaji both worked your asses off to keep me in the dark." Misato stood and approached her friend. "If you were honest about this, it would've been easier to believe you. Instead, the smartest woman sounds like a teenager: 'oh, you wouldn't get it. We're just evolved. People are so miserable. We know how to make them better'. It's pathetic."
Misato looked up to Nephilim. "You don't even know what you're doing."
Nephilim seemed to chuckle.
Suddenly, a light came on above the tank on the left wall. A soft chirping beep sounded. Ritsuko's shoulders began to slump. The acceptance on the scientist's face slipped into grief.
"What does that sound mean?" Misato asked.
Ritsuko covered her mouth.
"Ritz, what does the sound mean?"
The scientist braced herself against Nephilim's pillar. "Rei… is dead."
Instantly, Nephilim fell to the bottom of the LCL tank, as if gravity had spontaneously appeared in the fluid.
"What?" It was impossible, so Misato didn't consider it. "The battle was a success. There weren't any casualties. How could Rei be dead?"
Ritsuko shook her head. The voice which followed was as cold and composed as usual, a stark and horrible contrast to her pained expression. "Commander Ikari is the only person authorized to approve the revival process of an Ayanami."
"Okay, so Gendo can approve a new Rei. How does that explain anything?"
Ritsuko stared coldly at her. "Commander Ikari would only authorize it if he knew she were dead."
"How could she have died?" Misato repeated. "There must be some mistake."
Ritsuko shook her head. "He was against the experiment with Zenitsu's blood. Gendo thought it was a bad idea for her to be influenced by the Slayers in any genetic sense. It changed her. He saw it. He didn't like it."
Slowly, Misato realized the implication.
As this news struck her, Nephilim tapped the glass. Ritsuko jumped away from it as if she'd dodged an attack. Both women looked at Nephilim, who now stared at them. "Mother's dead?"
Slowly, the vacant eyes of all the Rei clones turned to face them.