Misato
Somehow, they'd managed to hold back a collective mental breakdown. Everyone throughout Nerv worked through the blaring alerts to prepare weapons for the Evas. As soon as they were ready, the full cache would be available to them. All they had to do was deal with this Angel.
Would another follow? The question floated through the air like a vapor. Nobody spoke the worry, but everyone thought it. It hung over everyone. How would they deal with a threat beyond the current one?
It didn't matter. Misato needed them to focus only on the tasks at hand.
Finally, a report sounded with good news: "Slayer Inosuke has awakened!"
She turned to the main screen. It displayed a feed of the bottom of Tokyo-3, practically beside them. She searched the screen for the boar-headed warrior. Sure enough, at the bottom of the screen, a barely visible Inosuke clambered to his feet. After a few disoriented steps and head shakes, Inosuke begun running toward the Evas. He didn't seem to be affected by the Angel's light.
"Any changes in the pilots?" she asked.
"Shinji's readings have stabilized, but they're still in a dangerous area. Asuka's signs continue to drop."
"Any updates on the Lance?"
"Nothing yet," a crew member declared.
Nothing? She turned to Fuyutsuki. "Vice Commander, we need to see what's going on in Central Dogma."
The old man remained stolid as usual. "There are no cameras in central dogma."
How could she believe that? "With respect, sir, there are precious few nanometres in this facility which aren't under constant observation. I doubt that you and Commander Ikari have left one of the most sensitive locations in our headquarters without a means of observation."
In another situation, this bark might've been considered treasonous. Even now, a few members shuddered. If it had been Gendo standing above them, she wouldn't even have made the declaration. She probably would've tried to take him prisoner. Fuyutsuki, she decided, could be trusted for one basic thing: he wanted to defeat the Angels.
The distance between them made it difficult to tell, but Misato thought she saw the old man sigh. "Cameras don't work in Central Dogma. We can't observe whatever's happening down there."
Misato turned again to the feed of Inosuke. What was he going to do? Even if the Evas awoke, what could they do?
"Trust in your own efforts," Fuyutsuki told the room. "Even if we must rely on the dummy plug, we can… trust the Evangelion."
He couldn't even say the words without wincing. He'd hesitated. All of his underlings had heard him. In another world, Misato felt Ritsuko smile sardonically at it all. Fuyutsuki's pained expression was obvious, even at a distance. In that moment, Misato saw the vice commander as a fellow human. Whatever he'd done, he had probably joined Nerv for the same reasons she had, to protect people.
But she didn't have the time to consider such a thing. More than anything, she wanted to know what was happening in Central Dogma.
Tanjiro-Rei
Only now, as they floated in the cavernous room, did Tanjiro notice how it strange felt to fly. The bizarre wings had no weight, nor did he need to move any muscles to keep himself airborne. The body he shared with Rei simply remained in place. The ease of movement as they'd dashed through the corridors of Nerv had been the result of instinct. Few people knew the layout of Nerv's impractical facility better than Ayanami Rei. That understanding of the structure, combined with Tanjiro's reflexes, meant they could rush down to this room.
Combat didn't seem so simple.
In itself, their task seemed easy. All they needed to do was touch Lilith. From there, Rei would join with it the way she'd entered Tanjiro's body. She couldn't explain how she knew what to do, but Tanjiro felt her certainty. He trusted that she could end Nerv's plans for Instrumentality. But the only obstacle hung beneath them, clutched in the hands of Unit-00.
They would have been able to remove the Lance from Lilith's body. But if Rei entered it, and Unit-00 impaled it again, she wouldn't be able to free herself. That Lance existed as a unique weapon, able to contain even the Second Angel. If it struck them in Tanjiro's body, who knew how it might effect them. If it impaled Lilith while Rei took over, she'd be immobilized.
What awful timing, they thought together.
Rei, Tanjiro thought, tell me what you need.
The goal is for me to assimilate with Lilith the way I've assimilated with you. From there—
I trust you, Rei. Just tell me what you need.
She hesitated. Tanjiro placed complete trust and faith in her. She'd never had anyone defer to her like this.
The Angel roared again, returning her to the situation.
We need to remove the Lance, if only for a minute, so I can get off the cross.
Okay. We don't need to necessarily kill or defeat it, right?
That's right.
Instantly, they propelled forward. Tanjiro's black sword brightened, igniting into flame as they dove toward the metal beast.
The Eva groaned and shuddered, lowering the dual tip of the Lance into the sea of LCL. From there, it swept the weapon upward, spraying a blood-scented mist into the air.
The fire ceased. Tanjiro and Rei abandoned the attack to fly above the bloody mist.
LCL. They grit their teeth in unified anger. Tanjiro's body couldn't stand the stuff. Even as they floated, the fumes made him feel heavy.
They considered how to attack. Meanwhile, the Eva hesitated. The giant lowered the Lance into the orange sea, swirling it. From here, it slashed upward, sending a fresh shower into the air. They didn't move, but they worried.
Perhaps that was enough.
With enraged shrieks, the Eva began splashing and smacking the sea, sending up an orange mist and showering itself in the poison.
Rei worried. Tanjiro breathed.
Tell me one more time that you can do it. Tanjiro thought.
Rei didn't understand.
Please, tell me you believe in yourself. If we fail here, Gendo wins, right? The rest of this world loses if you don't win here, right?
She saw his intent. They saw and understood each other instantly. Rei wanted to argue. Tanjiro wished he saw an alternative. As he understood it, Rei needed to do this. Nobody else could definitively prevent Instrumentality. Nothing mattered beyond saving this world.
All they needed to do was remove the weapon and touch Lilith.
Please, Rei begged, don't do this.
The Evangelion roared like an impatient predator, clawing at the entrance of a cave where their prey hid just out of reach.
Tanjiro and Rei circled through the air, until Lilith hung directly behind Unit-00.
Without a word spoken, the two argued. Tanjiro gave his plan. Rei refuted it. He argued that there wasn't enough time. Angels attacked the surface now. Every second they didn't finish things, Nerv and Gendo and whoever else set up more obstacles. Things needed to be finished.
Tanjiro asked her to trust him, the same way he trusted her. Tears began to fall from the red eyes.
Let's say it together. Please, I want you to know what it's like to say the words and believe them.
However much she wanted to argue, he had the greatest point. They didn't have much time. So, with one voice, they spoke: "I can do this."
Suddenly, the unified Slayer shot toward the Evangelion. Black steel erupted into vibrant crimson flame as the body become a missile.
Unit-00 plunged a massive hand into the sea and splashed a curtain of poison into the air, then regripped the Lance. The giant felt no mercy nor doubt as it stabbed the spear toward the flames and wings.
They burst through the wave. Tanjiro weaved above the tips of the Lance, which impaled one of their wings. Pain erupted in their spine. The muscles of their back tightened as if someone were carving a chunk out of them. Still, the attack continued. The Slayer raised the sword and curled downward. In a fiery pinwheel, the first stroke severed the Eva's wrist. They kept spinning, like a fiery comet, and slashed through the other wrist with a second stroke.
The Eva's hands, along with the Lance, plunged into the orange sea. Rei and Tanjiro tried to correct their course.
Tanjiro felt only pain. His body, covered with LCL fluid, felt like it'd been covered in acid. His lungs burned. He couldn't see beyond the fumes. Rei struggled, lightheaded and pained, with the single remaining wing.
In that moment, Rei knew a part of Tanjiro which no one else could ever know. With death before him, and agony coursing through him, he remained focused. He did not fear death, but he felt terror at losing the war. The weight of failing outweighed the fear of death. Stronger than the fear, however, was the determination. He would move toward success without doubt or hesitation.
Their body crashed into the sea, mere feet from Lilith.
As the Evangelion roared in its own agony, Tanjiro thought to Rei: the rest is up to you.
Asuka
"Come on…" she said under her breath.
The girl's shoulders trembled as she stared at the empty space. Inosuke had been there only a second ago. "That pig-head got out? Seriously?"
How? Why? It wasn't fair. Asuka had trained to fight Angels. This was supposed to be her calling. Why had she dedicated her life to this if some idiot could do what she couldn't.
Behind her, Shinji said, "The Angel wants us to overthink things. It's showing us a bunch of stuff that's not real. Maybe it's like that Buddha story where he meditates under the tree."
"Are you serious?" she whirled on the only available target. Inosuke had been too stupid. Yeah, that was it. How could you launch a psychological attack on someone who didn't have a brain? Wait, no, that wasn't right. The Angel had projected Inosuke into her brain. That had only been a vision. It just wanted her to get angry. Yeah, that was it. It was just showing her an image of that pig-brained idiot to mess with her and Shinji. The poor idiot had fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. What a fool, honestly.
As she thought this, Shinji looked forward. He knitted his fingers together. "Don't overthink. This isn't real. Don't fight it. Just… meditate." He shut his eyes and exhaled.
"Really? You believe him, Shinji? You're a pilot, aren't you? You think we can get out of this by not fighting it? The Angel's launching an attack on us! This is why you're worthless! You didn't even think of this. You're ripping off Inosuke. You're too scared to do anything, and you're too useless to come up with your own ideas. You never do anything yourself. You're so— listen to me, dammit!"
He ignored her. How could he do that? Hadn't she been ignored enough? Had Nerv brought her on board just so they could relegate her to the corner? Welcome, little girl, here's a bright and shiny new Evangelion. Look at how important you are. Enjoy the ride. Look pretty, but remember, we don't actually care about any of your input.
How could they?
She ran toward the end of the train car. If she wanted to beat this thing, she'd do it alone, the same way she'd done everything. With a furious cry, she slammed her body against the door. She bounced off it and crumbled to the ground.
"Dammit. Hey, coward, help me!"
She looked back. The train was empty.
Asuka was alone.
All alone.
That spineless coward had gotten free.
Big deal, she thought. How was this any different from normal? Whenever she'd wanted anything, she'd had to accomplish it by herself. Whenever someone else got involved in her fate or her life, they'd only selfishly pursued their own desires. She'd been a prop in her father's life. She'd been incidental to her mother. Nerv used her like a tool. Even Kaji treated her like some tedious part of his job. Sure, they worked together, but why hadn't he ever acknowledged her?
Why? Why? Why didn't anybody see here? They didn't hear her. Asuka could tackle a person, punch them in the face, and scream at them in three languages. Yet, she'd be ignored. Some people mocked her for being loud, overbearing, obnoxious. What other option was there?
She'd only ever been noticed when she piloted the Eva. That'd been stolen from her, too.
"Dammit… dammit…"
She collapsed onto on of the seats on the train. How long would this remain, she wondered. The scenes had switched for her to arrive in this place. Would they change again? How often? Would she die in this train?
Why? Why?
Her knees curled up onto the seat with her. Soon, her arms locked around her legs. An angry girl sat curled in a ball, cursing the world, as the tears flowed.
The Angel would not relent.
"Come join your mother."
The voice came straight from her memory, but it seemed to be next to her. The warm light of sunset became harsh. The light sharpened into the unflattering, sterile light of a hospital room.
"It's not real. It's not real. Get out of my head. Get out of my head."
Asuka cradled herself, her eyes shut. "I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die."
A feeling came like drills in her brain. She wanted to shudder and weep. Instead, she curled tighter.
Her mother's voice repeated, "Come join your mother."
Something plopped on the ground in front of her. Nervously, Asuka peeked to the floor. The head of her childhood doll lay there. Instead of buttons, Miss Perfect's red eyes stared up at her. Judging.
She judged. They all judged. If they ever so much as glanced at her, if they ever accidentally noticed her, they judged her. Was this all she could ever get? The little attention she'd gotten at school came from spineless boys who saw her as an escape. She only attracted the spineless, people like Shinji, who were too scared to make their own decisions or have their own personalities.
Nobody really cared.
"Stop it!"
She stood and kicked the doll's head. It flew up and bounced off one of the windows. As soon as the head touched the glass, the window changed. It became like a screen. Asuka saw herself, the day she introduced herself to her class in Japan. The window beside showed her punching Zenitsu. Beside that, she saw herself roll onto Kaji and beg for his attention. Gradually, they all changed. It was her. It wasn't her.
Even if these images reflected her memories perfectly, it didn't feel like a composite. This wasn't one person. She praised with one sentence only to insult with the next. The girl stood confidently and dramatically in a crowd, only to collapse when alone.
Her voice filled the train car. Even the glass on the doors played moments of her life. Again. Again. Replay. Redo. Slightly different tone and pitch.
"It's not me! That's not me!" she screamed and begged and wept.
Shinji
The Third Child returned with a gasp. His plug suit floated in the entry plug beside him. Just what had happened to him that he'd lost his body for a while? Wait, no, that didn't matter.
"Focus!" Shinji said, breathing slowly. His pulse beat loud and fast. He needed to be calm. When he felt a bit more stable, he checked his readings. The Comms were down, no way to communicate with Misato or the team. The controls were unresponsive. The display showed him the bare minimal amount of visual information.
The screen showed the world through the Eva's eyes. It stared at the space roughly in front of itself. The golden light continued to sparkle all around him. That weird chanting hadn't stopped, either. A different sound, however, got Shinji's attention. Beneath the chanting, from all around him, he heard breathing. It didn't take long to figure out that Unit-01 had remained Berserk. It sat now on its knees, helpless against the Angel's attack, breathing like a wounded animal.
It should have powered down by now, he realized. Perhaps the light kept it in a sort of low power state?
The most important thing, he realized, was to take back control. From there, he'd get in touch with Misato and figure out how to defeat the Angel. Pulling at the controls did nothing.
After several seconds of useless tugging, Shinji turned again to what he could see. Unit-02 lay on the ground, the same as before. He hoped, but doubted, that Asuka had escaped the train.
Finally, he noticed someone else amidst the light. Inosuke ran toward them, one hand clutching his side. The guy continued to push himself without caring about his own well-being. There needed to be a way Inosuke could help. But how?
If nothing else, he wished he could shout to Inosuke: save her!
For once, the boy didn't doubt himself. It seemed that this Angel's attack didn't have an effect once someone broke through it. The Evas must be affected. They were mostly human after all, so it'd make sense if a psychological attack would impact them the same way it impacted a person. So, Shinji had made it through, but Unit-01 hadn't.
"Come on…" he tapped his fingers on the controls. "What can I do? There's gotta be something. I can't just sit here."
For one of the first times in his life, Shinji didn't think about running away. All he wanted to do was contribute. A crisis lay before him. Therefore, he wished to do his part.
But how?
That cruel voice within him began to speak. In the end, you're useless. Motivated for the first time in your life, and all you can do is wait. You saved yourself just in time to watch the world end.
He drifted. The void stood ready to consume him. He'd turn off. Already, he felt the instinct to feel nothing. The alternative was to open himself to failure and pain.
"No," he said, trying to drown out that voice.
He wasn't alone. He wasn't useless. There needed to be something he could do. That voice told him to switch off, try to dissolve back into the LCL, and hope he never came back.
"Come on. Come on."
He shook his head and clenched his fists. "Help me!" He gripped the Eva's controls. "You've saved me before, right? You're part of my mother, aren't you? Then, help me. I want to fight. Don't just turn off like this."
The controls did nothing. No matter how he pressed or input commands, the Evangelion didn't move. As he struggled, his plug suit bumped against him. Annoyed, he swatted at it, pushing it away. As he did so, the Eva's arm twitched. When he turned back to face the controls, he noticed something in the corner of his eye. Something had changed in the Eva's vision. Shinji's hand hovered just above the controls. In the Eva's vision, its hand twitched upward, suspended in the air.
Shinji moved his hand again. The fingers twitched, but the hand didn't move.
"Okay," he said. "Listen to me, Unit-01, whatever you are. I've been a part of you. You saved me a lot of times. We've been through a lot. Now, you're the one in danger, okay? You always took over when things got bad, but now, I need you to step back. I'm going to save us, okay? Trust me."
Shinji laid back, ignoring the controls. He breathed deeply, letting the LCL fill his lungs. "No more you saving me or me piloting you. You want to help me? Let's do this."
He blinked. When his eyes opened, he saw no entry plug. The base of Nerv stretched out all around him. The ground lay far beneath him, even though he crouched on his knees. Shinji looked at his hands. They were the Eva's.
Unit-01 looked to Inosuke. The Slayer stood only a few meters from Unit-02. It seemed to be running toward Shinji. Inosuke raised his swords. He seemed to be shouting something, but Shinji could not hear someone so small and so distant. The pilot felt he could not speak, so he instead pointed to the red Eva.
He hoped the message was clear.
Rei
Tanjiro faded. She felt him, but he'd seemed to be shrinking as his body floundered beneath the LCL.
Rei had spent so much time in the orange substance. She'd been coded, conceived, and born in Lilith's blood. A significant chunk of her life had been tied to it. Now, for the first time, she felt rejected by it. It felt as if blood filled her throat and nostrils. The weight of Tanjiro's uniform did not help, nor did the searing pain she felt through him.
One shoulder twinged in pain from the torn wing, while the other spasmed, making it harder still for her to swim.
All she needed to do was touch the Second Angel. Its newly grown legs stretched into the water. If she could just get to it before they ran out of breath, she could begin the process. She'd been designed to one day merge with the Angel. Now, ahead of schedule, she would do so, just as she'd merged with Tanjiro. Unlike with the Slayer, though, she would devour Lilith. All that remained would be Ayanami Rei, however contaminated she might be by the ancient being.
She could do it. She'd take over Lilith, free herself from the cross, and save Tanjiro from the LCL. All Tanjiro's body needed to do was reach out and touch Lilith. From there, she could take over.
As they attacked, Tanjiro had seemed so ready to die. He thought of sacrificing himself. He thought nothing of it. She thought he had a martyr complex. After everything he'd done, he seemed to be living for someone else. He helped the Demon Slayer Corps to help them. He fought to protect his sister. He fought to protect this world.
She worried that his intensity hurt him, that he'd pushed back emotional growth so he could be a brunt force of nature for other people's lives. She wanted him to experience living in a time of peace, when he could have the freedom to choose what he wanted to do, without the spectre of annihilation hanging over him.
Rei would also achieve their agreement: defeating Gendo.
Her lungs burned. The LCL seemed to be broiling Tanjiro's skin as they floundered. Faintly, the sounds of the Eva thrashing in pain could be heard.
Focus, she thought. All she needed to do was touch Lilith. Through aching eyes she saw the luminescent skin of the giant. It filled her vision. They were close. So close. She struck out her hand, but she was not near enough. Wildly, her chest seeming ready to explode, she kicked and flailed. Again, she struck out Tanjiro's arm.
A finger touched the colossus.
Instantly, Rei shifted. Her awareness flooded through Tanjiro and into Lilith, diffusing like blood in water. No longer did she struggle beneath the orange sea. Instead, her arms hung suspended by nails. She still couldn't breathe. The mask. That stupid mask with the image that had become SEELE's logo gagged her. Light and precious air had been sealed away.
But, somehow, she didn't worry.
Her giant hands casually passed through the nails which held them. Free of constraints, the giant body fell several metres deeper into the orange sea. Immediately, her new hands grasped at the mask. She awkwardly pawed at the mask with stubby fingers for several seconds, until they became thinner. Soon, slender fingers found purchase. With a strong tug, she peeled the mask from her new face.
Strings of old white pulled away with the mask. Rei gasped. The strings snapped back from the mask, peeling up on her head and dividing. Soon, the once smooth head had her hair.
Her body hurt. It ached as if all of her were a single lump of a being. She looked down to see the body stretching and shrinking, recasting itself in her image. Pain through her as if living things fought inside of her.
Rei had been designed to merge with Lilith after all the Angels had defeated, with Gendo's approval. Now, she had not so much merged as she had taken over. Whatever part of the original Angel remained in this body now struggled against her. She endured the pain.
As she suffered through the pain, she noticed something odd. Unit-00. It hadn't attacked. She hadn't felt it react to Lilith in any way. Rei forced her new eyes to look up and focus. The Evangelion stood at the edge of the white island, banging its head against the side. It smashed itself against the edge, moving its lower body in strange and frantic motions.
It didn't pose a threat. So, turned her attention. Both of her glowing hands dove into the sea, searching for Tanjiro. She could not see him. His body now seemed so small. Had he sunk? How deep was he?
She couldn't detect him like this. How would she find him?
Her hand brushed something. She refocused. A finger pricked on something sharp. A hand closed gently around something. She raised her hands above the LCL. The Slayer lay in her palm. He wasn't moving.
"Tanjiro," she said.
Near her, Unit-00 howled and beat its face against the ground. Rei looked at it, now standing above her old adversary. The weapon now seemed like a frightened animal. It was a failed experiment, a zero, just like her. This frightened organism hadn't deserved the pain it'd undergone. It had lashed out because it had been warped by trauma and suffering. She pitied the Evangelion.
She waded through the LCL, cradling Tanjiro in one palm. Her other hand reached out to Unit-00. It screamed as she touched its head. "Rest now," she said, not know why she ought to say those words.
Suddenly, it stopped. LCL liquid gushed out from the chinks in the metal. The organism had transformed, the machine remained. Metal and wires fell into the orange sea.
This was Instrumentality. The fate of being turned into nothing but a dream. She felt like she'd euthanized a suffering creature. How could Gendo want to do this to all people?
As she wondered, she saw him. The man hadn't moved. He stood in the centre of the white island. His hands had not gotten dirty. His expression had not changed. He stared up at her without a clear thought.
Ayanami Rei, the girl who held the fate of the world in her hands, glared down at her murderer.