A/N: So I have a bad habit of getting away from myself. I always get ideas popping into my head and I just have to get them written down. I've had this chapter written up for quite a while so I've been waiting forever to post it. Enjoy and let me know what you think. xxx
"Daddy?" Maria whimpered as she clung onto Elliot who was preparing dinner.
"Yeah, Princess?" Elliot asked.
"When's Mommy coming home? I miss her."
Elliot inhaled a deep sigh and breathed out slowly to calm his nerves. It had been a whole two weeks since Olivia had disappeared off the face of the earth. Every time Elliot asked Cragen where his wife was, his boss would always reply with, "Liv's whereabouts is still classified.".
To be honest, El was starting get pissed off. He was pissed with Cragen for not giving him a straight answer. He was pissed at the FBI for practically kidnapping the love of his life and the mother of his child, soon to be children. But, he was especially pissed with Liv. He told her not to continue investigating Hayley's rape with Agent Lewis but she didn't listen, she never did in cases like Haley's. El knew that Liv couldn't help it, it was just the way she is and would always be. It was one of the many reasons why he fell in love with her in the first place. Elliot realised then and there that he wasn't pissed at Liv, rather he was pissed at her stubborn nature. If she wasn't so wrapped up in the investigation, she would never have successfully infiltrated that fucking eco terrorist group. He knew she was undercover because of that fact. That's the only reason to explain her recent absence in their lives. She wouldn't want to be away from him and more importantly, she wouldn't want to be away from their daughter or risk losing their chances of being little Zoe's new mommy and daddy.
"Daddy?" That sweet innocent voice of his daughter brought him out of his sullen thoughts, making him harshly blink his tears away and put on a brave face. "When is Mommy coming home?" Maria repeated her question, a look of confusion on her face. Her daddy was always so quiet and sad all the time now that her Mommy wasn't there. Seeing him sad made her sad and not to mention, afraid. She was afraid that something bad may of happened to her Mama. Her daddy was always very brave and never, ever cried. The only explanation for her father's grief had to be that something had happened to her mother. She was well aware of the fact that both her parents jobs were very dangerous.
"I don't know, Baby." Elliot finally got around to answering his little girl's question after swallowing down the lump in his throat. The confusion and anguish visible on the child's face was almost unbearable for him but he had to be strong for her.
And for himself.
Elliot once again sighed at the dejected look on Maria's face and lifted her up into his strong arms. "I'm sure it will be soon though." He tried to reassure her as well as himself. Maria snuggled into his chest and he held onto her much tighter than he usually would. Elliot was not afraid to admit to himself that he needed the child as much as she needed him right now.
"What if she doesn't come back? What if she leaves me like how my old mommy left me?" The little Latina began to sob into his shoulder, only increasing the anger and heartbreak he was feeling himself. Elliot sat his daughter on the kitchen counter and took her face into his hands, using the pads of his thumbs to wipe her tears away.
"Your mommy loves you, ok? She would never leave you. She would never leave our family. She'll be back soon. I promise you that." He vowed, not only to the little girl before him but also to himself.
"Is Zo-Zo still going to be my little sister?" Maria asked and Elliot hated how unsure she sounded. A child should not know such uncertainty at such a tender age.
"Of course she is, Honey. As soon as Mommy's home Zoe can be with us." The detective told her. The three year old was due to move in and the papers were supposed to be signed in about three weeks time but, of course, he couldn't do anything without Liv. 'How could she do this to us? To them? How could she just abandon our little girls?' He asked himself. Ok, he knew "abandon" was a strong word but that's how he felt in that moment – abandoned.
"Can we call Mommy? I just wanna talk to her." Maria's tone was slightly whiny but it didn't irritate Elliot in the way it normally would.
Elliot once again found himself sighing as he lowered his daughter to the ground and crouched down in front of her. "Sorry, Princess. Her phone must be broken. I couldn't get through to her when I've tried to speak to her." He explained gently, knowing that having Liv's phone number be disconnected was another FBI trick to make it seem like an "agent" had disappeared. Except this time it wasn't an agent that was undercover, it was his wife, God damn it!
Suddenly, Maria's expression changed and her face showed nothing but anger. "I hate her." She mumbled looking down afraid about how her father would respond. She knew Elliot disliked the word 'hate', he said it wasn't 'Christian-like' but Maria didn't care. Her mommy had left her, breaking one of her most important promises and so the little girl thought her feelings were justified.
Elliot frowned and brought Maria closer towards him so he could offer her some comfort. "Who?" He asked, having the feeling that he already knew the answer. However, how and what Maria said next shocked him a little. No child's voice should ever sound that dark.
"Olivia. I hate Olivia." Maria clarified and Elliot inwardly winced at his suspicions being confirmed. He drew the little girl into a tight hug and frowned as she buried her face into his neck. Maria hadn't called her mother by her given name since before her first day at kindergarten and now here she was, calling her 'Olivia' once again. He hoped that it was just a one time thing and that it was just Maria's way of venting her somewhat justified anger. He knew Olivia would be crushed to come home to find that her daughter no longer referred to her as 'Mommy'.
"No you don't, Baby. You're only saying that because you're upset." Elliot tried to reason with Maria. He felt a piece of his heart being ripped out when the girl tore herself out of his arms before doing the one thing he thought she would never do until she was at least a hormonal teenager.
She yelled at him.
"No! She promised! She promised she would never leave me! She has left me! I hate her! I hate her! I hate her!-"
Elliot knew she could have continued to scream those same three heartbreaking words until she was blue in the face if he didn't intervene. He knew that all the yelling and crying would only make her sick. It was time to get tough, he decided. "Enough!" The stressed father roared over his daughter's significantly weaker shouts.
Maria flinched and looked up at her daddy, afraid that he was about to hit her. He had never shouted at her like that, not even the time she accidentally scratched his car when the zipper on her backpack scraped along the metal. The unfamiliarity of this situation was enough to make her feel a sense of dread.
Elliot went to reach out for her with the intention of offering comfort but before even one of his fingers could brush against her softy baby skin, his little girl jumped back before taking off down the hall and up the stairs - presumably heading straight to her bedroom. Not even ten seconds later did Elliot himself flinch and squint his eyes shut when he heard a door slam on the floor above.
'I hope you get your ass home soon, Olivia. You're family's falling apart here. Our family's falling apart.' The deeply discouraged man thought to himself as he leant against the kitchen counter, physically, mentally and emotionally drained.
"Who's that?" 'T-Bone' sneaked up behind the woman before him and saw that she was gazing lovingly at a picture of a girl of about five or six years old.
Olivia, or Persephone as she was known as amongst her new 'friends', jumped but sighed when she saw it was just him. "You scared me." She whispered breathlessly, a hand over her heart.
T-Bone smiled sheepishly and apologized. "Sorry about that. So?" He persisted as he watched her go back to looking at the picture.
"'So?' What?" Liv asked, not taking her eyes off the picture of Maria.
"Who's the kid?" T-Bone asked, gesturing towards the wallet sized picture that was being cradled ever so lovingly.
"Maria. She's...she's my daughter." Olivia told him honestly. It was killing her, being away from her precious baby girls and the love her life. She knew they were going to be worried but most importantly, she knew El was going to be mad. He was overprotective to say the least so the fact that she had been shipped off to another state without him, as well as without any warning, she knew it was bound to make him worry about her.
"Wow. Never knew you had a kid. Who's watching her? I don' remember you mentioning a husband or boyfriend." Olivia resisted the urge to tell T-Bone to back the hell off and smiled as best she could.
"She's with her father. My ex. He's not even really my ex, we weren't really together. We were best friends. I kind of went to him looking for comfort one night and well...nine months later I had my Maria." Olivia was surprised at how easily she came up with that story. Hoping that he would assume Maria's father was Latino in order to explain the reason why her child appeared to be of Spanish decent when she, Olivia herself, was not.
"You had a one night stand?" T-Bone asked, a sly smirk on his face.
Olivia didn't like the judgement in his tone and immediately jumped to her own defence. "It was a mistake but if it had never happened, I never would have had my little miracle. It's not like I'm the type to sleep around nor was it with a complete stranger. We were best friends way before Maria came along." She was close to going into a full on rant causing T-Bone to take a few steps back and hold his hands up in front of him as if to say 'I surrender'.
"Woah! Take it easy." He tried to placate her. "I didn't mean anything by what I said. It's just...you don't seem the type to have a one night stand."
Olivia sighed and returned the photo to her jacket pocket. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just...Maria is my whole world. I don't want my moment of weakness to taint that."
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't pry, it's not my business." The scruffy guy admitted sheepishly.
"It's alright but can you promise not to tell anyone about Maria?" Liv asked, fearing what could happen when these people eventually found out who she really was. She knew she could trust him and that he was harmless. The others in this eco group on the other hand...
T-Bone smiled and rested a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You got it, P." He assured her before walking away and leaving Liv once again to her thoughts.
She smiled sadly as she watched him walk away. Their little chat only made her miss her family ten times more, if that was even possible.
Later that night, Elliot stood outside Maria's bedroom door, deciding whether or not he should knock or just go in without doing so. It had been hours since her little storm out and he hadn't even heard a single sound come from the room. Maria was never this quiet so, naturally, El was worried.
"Maria, Honey, I've got you a sandwich. Can I come in?" He said glancing down at the plate in his hand. Dinner had been a while ago so he knew his princess was bound to be hungry seeing as though she didn't come down when he had called her.
The concerned father sighed sadly and knocked again but when there was no reply, he turned the door knob and the door swung open. He knew that it was the right thing to do. After all, it was what Olivia would have done.
The sight that met Elliot's eyes was enough for his heart to crack and tears to pool in his eyes. Maria was curled up in a foetal position, hugging her favourite stuffed bear to her with dry tear tracks running down her soft cherub cheeks. Elliot sighed sadly, moved to sit on the edge of the bed and placed the small plate on the bedside table before gently reaching out and moving a piece of hair out of Maria's eyes. "Baby, wake up. It's Daddy." He whispered shaking her shoulder a little in an attempt to rouse her from her slumber.
The little girl groaned and rolled over onto her back as she swatted Elliot's hands away. "No. I want Mommy." She grumbled in her sleep and Elliot once again found himself cursing his wife and her reckless choices.
"Come on, Sweetheart. I brought you a snack." The man said in a normal tone of voice as he lifted her into a sitting position, causing her to flop against him with her head buried into his side.
Maria slowly looked up after having taken a deep breath and smelling her daddy's comforting scent. "Daddy?" She whispered groggily, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.
"Hi, Angel Face. Did you enjoy your nap?" He asked and Maria shook her head with an adorable pout. "Want to talk about it?" He asked opening up his arms for her to crawl into his lap which she did so.
"What if Mama doesn't come back? That means I would have lost two mommies and the kids at school will tease me for not having a mommy." The little girl said sadly as she clung onto her father for support physically and emotionally.
Elliot hugged her tightly towards him in order to comfort himself as well as her and placed a fatherly kiss on the top of her head. "Is that what happened in your dream?" He asked.
"Mhm." His daughter mumbled tiredly as a yawn escaped her little mouth.
"Well, I know that the kids at school aren't going to bother you like that ever. Do you wanna know why?"
"Why?" Maria asked looking up at him in wonder and adoration. Her daddy was the best at solving her problems, along with her mommy.
"Because I'm your daddy and I'm not going to let anyone hurt you like that." He promised.
"You're the best daddy ever!" She beamed in response before planting a sloppy kiss on her father's cheek. "But, what if they do tease me? What will you do then?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed as if she were trying to work out a puzzle.
"I'll arrest them, silly!" Elliot said as if that was the most obvious thing in the entire world and to him, anyone who ever hurt his princess must have a death wish. Of course, he would never hurt a child but he could hold his daughter's bullies parents responsible for their own children's actions and mean words.
Maria giggled. "But they're just kids. You can't arrest kids. Silly Daddy." She told him, shaking her head.
"You're right. When did you get to be so smart?" He asked with a grin and the girl shrugged. He then went back to the conversation they were having previously. "I know I can't arrest those kids for teasing you but I can go to the principal about them but you have to tell me straight away if they ever hurt you or your feelings, ok?" He said, looking her straight in the eye to show her how serious he was on the matter at hand.
"Ok, Daddy."
"Now, I know Mommy was wrong to go away like she did but do you honestly think that she would never come back to you?" Elliot enquire and Maria shrugged looking down at her hands that she was wringing together. "She loves you, Maria and I'm pretty sure being away from you for so long is killing her and I promise, I'm going to find her and bring her back to us, ok?"
"Ok." Maria squeaked before looking back up at him. "Can I eat my sandwich now, please? I'm hungry."
Elliot smiled and reached over for the sandwich. "After you've eaten I think it will be a good idea to get into your pjs. You have a very exciting day ahead of you tomorrow. Aunt Casey's going to take you and Zo-Zo to the zoo so you can spend some time together. Does that sound fun?" He had managed to get Casey to pull some strings so the girls could get to know each other some more whilst he used his day off to keep searching for Liv.
"Yeah!" Elliot laughed at her enthusiasm, he hoped that his two little ones continued to be close as they were growing up. He knew how sibling rivalry could ruin relationships between siblings.
It only took Maria ten minute to scarf down her sandwich, it probably would have been less if Elliot hadn't of slowed her down with warnings of getting tummy ache. After he had changed her into a princess night gown, Elliot read his daughter a bedtime story and tucked her into bed before deciding to take a shower in order to unwind for the night.