You are back home now, your emotions all revolted again. You didn't press Brittany for information too much since you noticed very early in your light conversation what Dr. Holiday told you: her memory seems to be a little weird. She's not entirely sure why she is in the hospital, even if she says she remembers having an accident, and certain other things seems to escape her mind. She seems to remember every single thing about you, though.
You are proud of yourself, since you were able to keep her company and have light conversation like a normal adult without puking, or fainting, or running away like a dumb teenager. Will has always told you that especially during your darkest moments you need to celebrate every single small thing that makes you feel good, even if any other person wouldn't understand it, so you figuratively pat your own back as a well done gesture.
Since you didn't get any information out of Brittany, you are debating calling Quinn to finally find out what information she has, but you decide that can wait. For some reason, since everything is going to crumble down anyway, you feel like calling your grandmother. You don't know what to expect, you have no idea what you are going to tell her after 20 fucking years of not speaking, but hearing her voice once made you feel things you haven't felt for a long while. And since you must be some kind of masochist, you pick up your phone and dial her number once again.
"Hello?" says that elder voice you know so well.
"Alma Lopez?" you ask, your voice at the verge of breaking, your whole body shaking.
You hear a sharp intake of breath, and there are like 30 seconds of complete silence. You are about to hang up when she finally speaks.
"Santanita! ¿Cómo te atreves? [How dare you?] Your abuela calls you and you only call her back 2 days later? Dear Lord, niña, I raised you better than that."
You don't know what you were expecting, but it definitely wasn't that.
"Uh... Sorry, I have been busy..." You mutter utterly confused.
"Nonsense, you shouldn't be busy for your family." She replies firmly. You don't know if you are more surprised by the fact that she doesn't really sound mad, or by the fact that she is actually talking to you.
"Abuela, you haven't called me in twenty years." You remind her, trying not to be rude. "You didn't even come to mom and dad's funeral." You add, slightly annoyed.
"Brittany has taught me a lot." She says as all answer.
"What does that even mean?" You ask, your confusion growing more if possible.
"She has been so good to me..." She muses, not really talking to you. "Did you finally marry her?"
"What?" You are not understanding a single thing,
"I heard you got married."
You want to answer 'well, kind of', but you decide not to make it any more difficult than it already is.
"Well, yes. Ten years ago, grandma, so no. It's obviously not to Brittany." You say coldly.
"Oh, I see..." She says, and you believe she sounds sad. "Did you know Quinnie is pregnant? Such a nice girl she is, married to a lovely man..." She starts kind of rambling and you wonder if it's intended, which would be a very low jab, or if actually her age is starting to take a toll on her. Neither option would really surprise you.
"Sí, abuela. I know Quinn is pregnant." You say with a sigh, rubbing your eyes with your free hand. You want to ask more about Brittany but you really don't know how to address the whole situation. "Grandma, what's your deal with Brittany?" You decide to take the direct approach.
"Nena, I don't have any deal with Brittany..." She says, sounding a little confused.
"No, abuela, I mean, how so you talk to Brittany?"
"Oh! Well, she was living with me for a while. Poor girl." She says and you frown.
"What? Why?" You ask surprised.
"She didn't have anyone else. I found her sleeping on my doorstep one cold morning, she must have been freezing, I'm not a cold-hearted person, Santanita." She says and you snort.
The conversation falls silent for a few moments. You don't know what else to say, but some tiny bits are starting to clear in your mind. You are a little annoyed though, so trying to get more information out of your grandmother wouldn't be good for either of you. So you decide you'll try again next time, once you have the information Quinn wants to give you.
"Abuela, I gotta go." You say drily.
"Ok, Santanita. Come visit soon, I miss you." She mutters and she sounds tired.
You hang up the phone and sigh deeply as the sun starts setting and the darkness is starting to surround you. You don't bother turning on the lights, though. It has been enough for one day. One thing you have realised today: you'd die for Brittany Pierce. Would you die for Dani, though? You are not so sure. You would do all in your hands to protect and defend her, but to the point of putting your own life at risk? Probably not. And that annoys you. It annoys you that you would catch a grenade with your bare hands for Brittany, but you'd only try to kick it as far away as possible for Dani. You are not happy about that realisation. You feel as a horrible, horrible person.
When Dani gets back home it's almost late in the evening, and she finds you sitting on the couch, doing some research on your laptop while you are wearing a fluffy pyjama and your favourite pair of glasses (you have like a million of those). She moves close you you, and hugs your neck from behind the couch, giving you a soft peck on the lips. You feel her smile softly as you don't flinch away.
"There's dinner in the fridge, dear" You mutter softly.
"Are you looking for flights to Lima?" She asks a little confused. After all you have always said you'd never go back to that shit hole of a town.
"Not really, just curious." You say with a sigh and close your laptop before getting up and moving close to Dani, trapping her in your arms in a tight hug,
"I am so, so, sorry." You whisper sincerely. You hate hurting her.
She starts sobbing in the crook of your neck and you let her. You hold her close to you. You both know this is not over, and you really need to make a decision. It's either committing to Dani wholeheartedly, or not at all. And it's probably the hardest decision of your life. You love this woman, you really do, but if you are not a hundred percent sure that you will be able to give her all she deserves, you know it's better to not make her suffer anymore. She deserves to be happy, even if it is without you.