HELP
[sent 10:10]
COLD FEET
[sent 10:11]
20 minutes!（￣□￣；）
[read 10: 11]
Kaito sprints down the busy streets with his backpack in tow. The rain from this afternoon was splashing behind him and onto the back of his cheap denim, but he ignored it as he dodged a group of eager tourists. He enters the Haido City Hotel, where he (as KID) and Shinichi (as Conan) had first met 10 years ago. The roof had become their official meeting point for their important milestones, like when Kudo Shinichi officially returned 8 years ago, when he had destroyed Pandora 6 years ago, and when both of them finally had destroyed the last of their respective organizations just 2 years ago. Other things had happened here too, memories that he had a feeling he would take to the grave.
As he climbed the stairs, Kaito reminded himself that today, they're not meeting on the roof. He's going to room 1412 which is among a selection of suites which was specially reserved for friends and family. Because tomorrow, in a cruel twist of fate, the only person he's ever loved is getting married at their sacred meeting point, and he somehow ended up as Shinichi's best man.
He regretted never saying anything. The detective's look of pure joy when he revealed the news to Kaito left him speechless though, so instead, he just woke up every morning and reminded himself that if Shinichi is happy, then so am I.
By the time he reaches the 14th floor, Kaito is a sweaty mess. For all the time he spent on the roof, he had never been inside of the hotel, so he underestimates how much work it is to get to the top floor. At room 1412, he knocks on the door rhythmically and waits.
Shinichi opens the door and smiles. "Right on time."
"It's only 10:30. Shouldn't you still be out with the wedding party and fiancée?"
His eyes narrow briefly but quickly soften. "Well you never showed up, and I only came for your speech." You can't just say stuff like that to me, even as a joke , he thinks, blushing furiously. He can't use his Poker Face around Shinichi anymore, either because he'll read through it or he does something which makes him a hopelessly panicky disaster .
He looks radiant tonight, and noticeably more relaxed than the last time they had met (to be fair, there was a murder then). Kaito tries to hide his blush by tearing his eyes away from the gentle, cerulean eyes facing his, but it backfires tremendously when he noticed that the detective was wearing the pair of soft pants that Kaito got for Shinichi's birthday last year because he thought they would look nice on his ass.
They do.
Kaito can't stop blushing at the sight of his ass. Luckily, for all the mysteries he solves and all the people he saves, Shinichi was a spectacularly dense idiot. He's never aware of Kaito's panic at the mere sight of him, including now as he sits down on an expensive couch. Instead, he brings over a cup of coffee for himself and a cup of hot chocolate, which Kaito takes with both hands gratefully.
"By the way, I have stuff for you there," Kaito says, motioning for the bag. "Socks, heating pads, that fleece blanket at my place that you like. For your cold feet."
Shinichi stares at him in his analytical, calculating manner. It wasn't a look he typically faced, only for when a prank went too far or he had gone one lie too far. Tensing, Kaito shrinks into the cushions. But the tension was broken when Shinichi began to snicker, causing the magician to blush.
"Did I mess up?"
"No, no! I just forgot that you're not too familiar with English idioms. 'Cold feet' means that someone is having strong doubts over a big decision, specifically…" he averts his gaze and mutters the last part with a hint of an emotion Kaito had never seen on his face, "marriage".
Kaito checks his phone. Now that he thinks about it, the texts he had sent ("HELP" and "COLD FEET" in English for some reason), made a lot more sense in that context.
"Catch, you idiot."
Kaito feels a blanket drape over his head. He pulls it down and wraps it around his body. "What, so you don't want to get married?"
Shinichi whines, "Kaito…I'm having a crisis! What am I supposed to do? "
The words hung at the tip of his tongue. Marry me instead.
Instead, Kaito smirked. "Well, you love her, right? I always hear you complaining about her, and given that the only happily married couple I know is your parents who do the same thing, I think you should be fine."
Shinichi lowers his coffee. "I like her and all, but to commit to someone is overwhelming? What if I regret it in a couple of years? Who do I turn to then?"
Me.
He signed patiently, then looked into the other man's eyes. They were wide with panic, and his hands were nearly pulling out his hair. Kaito's hands twitched as he fought the urge to take Shinichi's into his own. He took a sip of his hot chocolate and continued, noticeably softer and more serious this time. "You never answered my question though. Do you love her?"
Because the more I hear about this, the less I see it lasting longer than a year.
"Well…" Shinichi took a long breath, "Ran I look like I'm in love every time we meet. At first, I thought it was because the proposal had gone well so we were so happy at that point. But even as the romance ended between the two of us, Ran would keep on raving about how lovesick I looked. She's intuitive. She's known me since we were kids and she always ends up being right about me. So, we can conclude that if she knows that I'm in love with someone but things my fiancée and I have no chemistry…" he placed his head in his palm. Kaito waited for him to collect himself.
"I… I don't think I love her anymore."
The words hang heavily in the room. Internally, Kaito smiles fondly. Leave it to the detective to deduce something like this. But it was an exciting development. He's in love with someone and it's not his fiancée.
It could be me. Is it me, Tantei-kun?
"Is… this a, um, revelation that you just, uh, had or…" he stuttered.
"Deep down, I think I've always known, but it's hard to come to terms with when you're supposed to get married so soon."
Kaito's head shot up at that. "You're still planning on getting married? Are you an idiot?"
He looks up blankly. "Should I not?"
Exasperated, Kaito stands up. "Of course not! You're supposed to marry someone you love, someone you can foresee being happy with. And it's got to be mutual. Take your parents, for example. To be fair, they're the only happily married couple I know, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that they work because they're compatible!"
Like us.
Kaito's eyes narrow. "Do you even want this or do you just feel bad for her?"
After a brief pause, Shinichi's voice is raw as he speaks.
"I… don't know."
Kaito sits down on the couch again. Softly, he asks, "What made you ask for me in the first place?"
Shinichi shrugs. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Nothing makes sense. There's supposed to be one truth and I can't find it, even though it's my job. But you always tell me what I need to hear, and I'm grateful for it."
I do it because I love you. Hopeful, Kaito leans in slightly.
"And you listen. I say what I have to, and a lot of the time it's Holmes and crime and things I've already said, but you listen to me the entire way through anyways."
Because I love you. He slides even closer to the detective until their thighs are pressed against each other. Keeping his hand where it is, Kaito brushes his thumb affectionately against his pant leg.
"You would drop anything to come and help me."
Because I love you.
"And you…" Shinichi drops his head. Kaito's nose is met with a whiff of his overwhelming and intoxicating scent. Finally, he deduces, "You…love me."
I love you. Only this time he barely uttered the words to the man himself, something Kaito had never dreamed of doing. He's not even sure if Shinichi can hear him. The only question on his mind leaves his lips before he can stop himself.
"Do you love me, Tantei-kun?"
He waits an eternity for the answer. Shinichi looks up.
Indigo meets cerulean.
His blue eyes are in pain and Kaito knows the answer before it's even said.
"I don't think I do. I'm sorry."
For a moment, nothing else registers to Kaito except for an unbearable pain in his chest. He shoves Shinichi away from him and stumbles to the door. He ignores how cold it was now that they had separated and the moisture covering his cheeks. He ignores that his shoes are squeezed uncomfortably onto the wrong foot. He ignores the matching tear tracks and confused look in the eyes of the only person he had ever loved.
Shinichi is trying to apologize. The word friends is definitely mixed in there, and it makes him want to throw up.
"I'm sorry, I-"
"Please don't talk to me," he whispers between shaky breaths. Kaito opens the door and steps into the hallway. Shinichi reaches his wrist. He shakes it free.
Quietly, he mutters, "Text me if you still want me here tomorrow."
He goes back down the stairs, taking his time and sitting down at the top of a flight of stairs and crying. By the time he makes it onto the street, his whole body feels numb. It's raining again. His tears blend with the droplets he lets fall onto his face. His clothes stick to his skin.
His apartment is cool and empty. Keeping the lights off, Kaito takes off his shoes and falls into bed. He falls asleep looking like a child: still in the previous day's clothing, tears falling freely, and grabbing a fistful of his fitted sheet with a stubborn grip.
Kaito wakes up the next morning to his phone ringing instead of his alarm. Groaning, he stretches and stands up. He's still in his jeans, which smell of undried fabric and rain. He wrinkles his nose and picks up the phone without checking the contact.
"Kuroba speaking."
"Kaito-kun! Do you know where my child is?" Kudo Yukiko's voice rang out, waking him up instantly. "Shin-chan's supposed to get married today, but no one can find him! Come by the hotel when you can."
"I-" Before Kaito could come up with an excuse, the line was already cut.
He tries hard to not cry about the night before, but his Poker Face doesn't work when he's alone. The last thing he had said after the disastrous confession was "Text me if you still want me here tomorrow". Shinichi had never texted him back, so he had planned on never seeing him again. In his mind, he had even considered looking for jobs that weren't in Tokyo, because the thought of even running into Shinichi ever again sounded so painful.
He changed into a fresh hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Looking in the mirror, he observed his red, swollen eyes and frizzy hair. I look like crap, he realized. Instead of trying to fix anything, he just grabbed a dark cap and sunglasses from the kitchen counter.
Kaito exits the apartment complex with his hands in his pocket. On the way over to the hotel, he practiced his poker face. He drags his feet on the sidewalk and crosses as many intersections as possible to waste time. He even checks the day's news blaring on the jumbotron. Hopefully, the wedding party knew nothing about last night, because if they did, he would probably be leaving the hotel in a body bag or on a stretcher at the very least.
When he enters the hotel's lobby, he doesn't even have time to prepare his poker face because Kudo-san immediately barrels into him in a frenzied state. "Kaito-kun! Thanks for showing up. Ran-chan's the mastermind, so go talk to her." Then, into her phone, she barks, "Tell Michiko to stop crying, we'll find him in no time…"
Michiko-san. That's awkward, he thinks sheepishly. Leave it to Kaito to forget his only love's long term partner's name. He's not entirely sure where to find Ran-san, so he calls her number. She picks up on the first ring.
"Kaito-kun! I've been waiting for your call," she begins. Kaito shudders, anticipating something ominous.
"If you heard anything about last night, then I-"
"I heard everything," she responds, cocking her head. He shudders again seeing how quickly Ran-san could change the tone of a conversation. No wonder Shinichi could never say no to her. "Don't worry, I'm the only one who knows. But come up to Shinichi's room quickly if you want to keep it that way."
"Right, I'm taking the elevator this time," he huffs, before hanging up.
He knocks on room 1412, trying to forget what happened the night before. Ran opens it and he walks in, halfway in a haze. That's where he stood and his ass looked hot… that's my backpack, except it's clearly empty… and that's the couch where…
Ran smirks. "Something definitely happened last night." She reaches over and takes off his sunglasses and cap, and the smirk disappears. "You look like crap."
He didn't even refute that comment. He sat on the couch, staring through the empty liquor bottles which certainly weren't there when he left. The couch smells like a mix of Shinichi's shampoo and cologne which he had bought him last year. The detective had been adamant about only using it on special occasions, but oddly enough, he always smelled like it on days Kaito was around.
Ran sits down on the couch, jerking the magician out of his trance. "I love him," he whispers, realizing that he'll probably never get a chance to say to him again.
"I know. I've known for a long time. Please stop smelling the couch and listen to what I have to say." From Ran, it doesn't seem like such a ridiculous order. She takes out her phone. "Last night, Shinichi called me and as you can tell he was uh…" she points to the empty bottles, "intoxicated, wasted, whatever you want. Anyways, I was with Sonoko, so she recorded the call and we put it on speaker and…" she presses play to a recording.
"...And he smells so good? And I let him go? Have you ever smelt him? That cologne he got me is so… I only wear it when he's around, you know, because I have to smell good for him. Is it his detergent? Because he brought over my favorite blanket ever and I want to keep it because it smells like him but I don't know how to ask him and I'm also scared of the smell to go away and you know why he did that in the first place? Because I told him I had c-cold feet and so he b-brought in blankets and w-wool socks because he's so adorable and st-stupid-d and-"
He was cut off with a massive sob and a giggle from Sonoko, which followed a slap, a shh, and an ow! He continued after a large gulp and hiccup.
"Which begs the que-hic-stion… because h-hic-e brought over wool socks in-hic-stead of the cotton ones I - hic - like and I-"
Ran cut it off there. "You didn't miss much in the beginning. Just a rambling about the benefits of socks with various material blends," she sighs, "even when he's drunk he's a pretentious idiot."
She catches a blushed Kaito sniffing his armpit. "I don't understand it either," she says, making him somehow go redder in the face as he snapped his arm down. "Maybe he's got a thing for idiots."
Kaito looks at Ran, confused. "Wasn't he into you?"
She smiled, responding, "Yeah, and I'm helping you find him even though you probably know exactly where he is." She hands him a note in Shinichi's scrawl which simply says "You know ."
He does.
The roof of the Haido City Hotel is windier than usual. Kaito muscles the rusty door open and tumbles gracelessly out of the doorway. Straight ahead is Shinichi, who's wrapped in the blanket and staring at the Tokyo skyline. He's eating a box of chocolates, which he only does after a long night.
"Oi!" He calls. Shinichi turns around, and he raises plastic from a store across the street.
"Fireworks!"
Shinichi gets up and walks over to Kaito. He's hungover and has heavy shadows under his eyes, and he's got his wedding tuxedo on, all disheveled. He looks like a movie spy, Kaito thinks as his heart skips a couple of beats. He's a little breathless too.
You've got no right to be this beautiful.
When he gets close enough, Kaito instantly gives him his sunglasses. He stares at Kaito oddly but takes them and mutters "Thank you," quietly. He's probably deduced that Kaito was crying last night by now, but doesn't say anything as he squats to the ground and lights 2 handheld fireworks. Kaito takes one and tries to ignore the jolt of electricity when their hands brush one another.
They sit in uncomfortable silence as they watch the fire creep towards their hands. It's not as majestic as it would be at night, but Kaito appreciates it all the same.
When they stamp out their first fireworks, Kaito prepares the second round. While focused on the fireworks, he hears Shinichi take a breath.
"Listen, I-"
NO. Shinichi stops talking, curious.
Shit, did I say that out loud? Shinichi nods.
"I guess my conscience is finally getting what it wants," he says, laughing humorlessly. When it fails to get a response out of Shinichi, Kaito takes a breath. "You wanted me to find you," he begins, looking at the other man for verification. He nods again. Kaito turns away to look at the horizon but angles himself in a way that the other man would still be able to hear him.
"I fell in love with you 6 years ago, on this rooftop. The night I destroyed Pandora, Snake was here too and he shot me. I was convinced I wasn't going to get out of there alive. You were there though, too, and stood between me and him, stalling for the police. Then, by some miracle, you got me out of there without being arrested. No one had ever cared for me that much, besides maybe my own parents. But after that moment, I knew you cared, and I was overjoyed. And then you looked me in the eyes the next day when I woke up in your house and I was so in love and wanted that forever.
"I still love you all these years later. Your face, your ass," (Shinichi blushed) "the way you make coffee every morning but still keep hot chocolate for me, and most importantly, your mind. I love that you're such an idiot sometimes. But even if you were talking about the ethical contradictions in Japanese law, I would listen to you for hours because you make everything sound. so. fascinating!"
Finally, Kaito turns around again, revealing a crimson rose in his right hand. "I love you," he finished, voice breaking and blushing furiously. Shinichi gapes at the rose. Kaito's hands shake with nerves.
Finally, a cool hand wraps around his own. Shinichi takes the rose and puts it behind his ear. It matches the blush on his face. His eyes are affectionate as he wraps his arms around Kaito's neck and whispers in his ear. "It's you. Always has been, I think. I…I love you."
Kaito grabs his waist and pulls him in.
Their first kiss is perfect: delicate, soft, and chocolaty.