Diego Diaries: Cloudy (dd7 393)

=0=O850 joors at the Autobot City Courthouse and Municipal Jail

He stood by himself with a frown on his cute little face. He was here to 'face the music, little mech' as the mob aka his entire family told him happily. He'd wanted to come in and con his way out of a jail sentence by himself but OH NO! THAT'S NOT THE FAMILY WAY, IRONHIDE! WE'LL ALL COME WITH FOR MORAL SUPPORT!

Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be an orphan.

Like now.

Sitting and standing around in the lounge nearby and the hallway not only did his entire family of elders come including the LITTLE BROTHER HE DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD but all of Ratchet's, Orion's and Prowl's elders and their pre-school kids.

Those people.

That didn't count the adult children he'd adopted and a few of THEIR elders as well. The mob sat chatting, glancing at him with grins from time-to-time and enjoying his predicament.

HE WAS SLAGGING INNOCENT!

So he stared out the window with a frown as he gathered his tattered dignity around him. That's when someone squeezed his aft. He glanced over his shoulder to see a smiling Ratchet who stepped closer to stand beside him.

"You're cute when you pout," Ratchet said.

Ironhide smirked at him, taking the higher road (for the first time with Ratchet). "I am aren't I?"

"Won't get an argument from me," Ratchet said with a chuckle.

"You'd think we were slagging mini-cons from the look of that mob," Ironhide said as he glanced at his family and the others with a deeper frown.

"They're here as character witnesses," Ratchet said as he patted Ironhide's aft. "They could have been accusers."

"Slaggers," Ironhide muttered as the door opened and he was called to come inside. He glanced down the hallway where everyone was standing up to follow. With an even deeper frown, Ironhide walked into the courtroom with Ratchet.

Inside everyone filled the chairs and benches along the wall. Even Ultra Magnus was there to get a bit of paybacks for other times and places perhaps. When everyone was seated, the judge, a good natured mech named Parlow nodded to Silver, the Clerk of Court. He rose. "All be upstanding in court."

Everyone stood.

"All be seated and observe the decorum."

Everyone sat.

Silver sat, then turned to Parlow. "Our first case is a mini-con named Pearlie of D-4 and his bond, Toto of D-4."

Ratchet grinned. He loved mini-con names.

Two little mechs stood up in the courtroom, then walked to the line to stand. They looked out of place and uncomfortable.

Parlow looked up from his data pad. "The charges against you are vandalism and being disorderly in public because of it." He glanced around. "Where's your village?"

"They're working, your worship," Pearlie said in a very small voice. It was evident that he was either a smart ass or a very old fashioned mech in his manners.

They existed.

Mini-cons with manners.

It was hard to tell just yet which it was but everyone's audials in the room were pricked up to find out.

"I see. Do I need to call for a village? I could do that if you require it," Parlow gently joked.

The two looked at him, then each other. An off line conversation went on between them, then Pearlie looked at Parlow. "That's alright, your worship. It was nice of you to offer."

They were that old fashioned in their manners.

Everyone there sat back to watch something unusual, mini-cons with manners and the resultant comedy, intentional and otherwise that would arise from it.

Parlow looked delighted with them and Silver looked muy amused.

Coln-2 who had a standing order that he be there when mini-cons were facing the music lounged in his chair with amusement.

Blackstone who was there to represent these two should they need it, did as well. He had standing orders as well.

Everyone in law loved mini-cons.

"Very well," Parlow said. "You're charged with defacing a monument."

Everyone in the room blinked with surprise.

"What do you say?" Parlow replied.

They stared at him, then each other, then him.

Pearlie hesitantly stepped closer. "Actually … its a big misunderstanding, your worship. However, we will pay any penalty that you declare. We accept the consequences over all."

It was silent a moment before Parlow leaned in slightly to ask them a question. "I would love to know how this is a misunderstanding. Please take the time to tell me."

Toto glanced at Pearlie, then Parlow. "Actually ..." he said with his voice trailing off. "We went to the paint store to get some for a project Pearlie was making at home. We didn't know walking home that our baby boy had picked up a tiny spray can of paint from a paint shelf at the store. He's very small and doesn't know such things."

It was silent.

Toto glanced at Pearlie and nodded.

Pearlie glanced at Parlow. "He was walking along with us and spray painted the monument. We were shocked and came back to fix it. We gave him to my ada to care for. We were caught with the spray can and our solvent to clean it. It was a misunderstanding."

Parlow considered that. "Is your son available?"

Toto and Pearlie glanced at each other, then Pearlie opened his carry hold. Reaching in, he pulled out a tiny infant with a giant smile. Sitting the baby on the ground, they looked at the judge with anxiety. "We will take any punishment for his deeds that you mete out."

Toto patted his tiny son, then glanced at the judge with anxiety and some fear. "He didn't know. You can see … he's very small."

It was extremely silent in the room as everyone stared at the smallest little mech baby that most had ever seen. He was light blue with white accents and was looking around with a giant baby smile on his cute little face. His finials resembled the ears of a Terran dog pricked up to listen. He turned to Parlow. Pointing at him, he walked up and held out his arms.

Parlow who was as mesmerized as everyone there stood, walked down and picked the baby up. "Aren't you the cutest little desperado I ever saw." He looked at the two, his stricken genitors. "Well, if that's the case, case dismissed."

The two looked at each other, then him. Almost stricken with relief, they walked up, made their spark felt expressions of appreciation, then gathered their little bit of fluff. Walking out with a burning desire to disappear, they exited and it was back to normal again.

"Mini-cons are The One's gift to all of us," Blackstone said with a big grin.

Everyone agreed.

Silver consulted, then said, "The Prime against Ironhide of Praxus."

Feeling the willies hit him big time given the audience watching, Ironhide stood, hulked to the line, then assumed a very mortified and defiant parade rest.

Watching him and knowing the backstory because Ratchet had filled him in, hence the composition of the court at the moment …

Blackstone was here on a day off.

Coln had traded duties.

Silver was due to record depositions but had traded off.

Parlow had traded cases to get this one.

The entire Village of Ironhide™ had switched it up as well to be here to 'bear witness, infant' …

"You don't have to do that Appa."

"What sort of family would we be not to be there at your joor of need?" -all of them

"Uh ..." -Ironhide

The rest of the mob there came for the lulz. Dear old dad and all ...

"Ironhide of Praxus is charged with disturbing the peace, fighting in a public place, assault and battery and resisting arrest. So says the data pad here, this one," Silver said with a big grin as he held up the pad with the charging statement, "so say we all." He set it down on his desk, then sat back to watch the fun.

"What's your plea, Ironhide of Praxus?" Parlow asked with amusement.

"I-"

"WAIT!"

Everyone turned around to look at Raptor of Praxus who had stood and interrupted the adored grandson he never expected to have.

"Yes?" Parlow asked.

"I'm Raptor of Praxus and I'm representing this youngling mech in his joor of need." Raptor gave the same cheese eating smile all of them had down to the latest version with the silver and copper 'hair'.

"Appa?"

Everyone glanced at Scout who was sitting on Alor's lap after skipping school for the fun. After all, it WAS comforting to have your onliest and tiny little brother (you never heard of before a few orns ago) give his support in your joor of (deepest) need (humiliation) with the rest of his family (biker gang).

Raptor glanced at the only other member of the family that would get all his stuff (besides Ironhide and it was a good pile of cool stuff indeed). "What, imp?"

Scout chuckled, a tinkling sound. "ADA! APPA CALLED ME IMP!"

Everyone laughed, then stared at him again.

He smiled.

"What, Scout?" Raptor asked again with a big grin on his face.

"Why Him doing this?" Scout asked. Given that he had a hard time saying two part names because of his age and development, it was a good thing for Ironhide's ego that he didn't call him out in the courtroom what he usually did everywhere else. The name Uncle Sun taught him to call Ironhide … Poo-Poo.

That one.

"Well, sometimes when you do a bad, you get your servo patted. Ironhide is here to get his servo slapped," Raptor said.

"You're representing me? What the frag?" Ironhide aka Poo-Poo asked with a bit of a snit thrown in for good measure.

Parlow, Blackstone, Silver and Coln sat back to enjoy the show. Apparently, it was considered part of 'army life' to be 'razzed' to death by your elders. Given that none of them had been or ever were soldiers, the next few moments could prove to be educational. Hence, the laisse faire.

"FRAG HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS! I'm merely exercising my duty to help my grandson," Raptor said with a big smile. "Your most holy worship, I'd like to know the EXACT circumstances of the arrest."

Parlow stared at Raptor with amusement, then Coln. "Could you please read the police report, Counselor?"

"I hoped you would ask," Coln said as he pulled it up. "There's the usual information in the header but the body of the report by the officer on the call reads as follows: "I came into the station and down the stairs to the platform. Upon it were between 20 and 30 youths who were pummeling each other with fists and blunt instruments, the fraggers. In the back of Car 3, a tall Autobot mech was being beaten with crowbars by several other youths and getting the worst of it. We cleared a path, then pulled the individual to his peds, someone who turned out to be Commander Ironhide of Praxus, a noted Autobot warrior."

"Ha!" Ironhide said. "Notable," he said as he glared at his family. "Notable."

His family smiled at him.

He frowned even deeper back.

"It goes on," Coln said with smirking satisfaction. "The individual was worse for the wear and when pulled forward to be removed by the valiant efforts of your local constabulary fought us with fury, though poorly. We cuffed his sorry aft, slapped his helm and stuffed him into the wagon headed for the prison. He screamed and yelled the entire time. I think someone should check out his helm. The slagger might not have all his marbles."

"Who wrote that?" Ironhide asked.

Coln looked at the signature. "Officer Commander Hercy of Helex."

"Well, that's the charge sheet. I'd like to plead for my grandson, your most gracious worship," Raptor said with a gigantic smile and a line of crap a mile long. "I hereby plead for Ironhide insanity by blunt instrument."

"I WANT ANOTHER LAWYER!"

=0=TBC 9-30-2020 10-24-2020

Fun Slag:

If you want to know what greatness is, go to the anchorage daily news and check out fat bear week on the Katmai River. The bears have gorged themselves and their guts actually drag on the ground. They can gain over two pounds a day all summer long. They also have videos of fat bears on you tube. :D:D:D You're welcome. :D:D:D