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Years Ago From Now: Chapter 24

March 11, 1981

Hermione was caught between attempting to study a book on creating believable false memories and watching Lucius blow raspberries on Draco's very wriggly stomach. He had just learned of the game from her the day before, and her two boys had been obsessed since then. It did leave her feeling very sorry for Lucius, learning that such simple games had not been part of his own childhood memories, and that his interactions with small children had been so few that he had never heard of it.

Draco was desperately trying to roll away while he giggled, pushing against Lucius's face. He had started trying to crawl lately, but Lucius was not about to allow him to escape. They were paying her absolutely no attention whatsoever.

She was startled by a barn owl flying into the open window and coming to rest on the arm of the sofa next to her. She took the letter from the bird and told it to fly up to he owlery. The elves were wonderful about providing treats to any guest owls that would visit.

Recognizing the handwriting on the outside, she opened it with a smile on her face.

Dear Narcissa,

How are you? Things are as well as can be expected here. It is strange to feel so cut off from everyone. We still manage to see our friends. James still even sneaks out for a pint now and then. But it is strange not to entertain our friends at my own home. I hope that changes soon. I would love to return to Godric's Hollow. For now, without taking extreme measures, that isn't in the cards. The only person who knows where we sleep is the headmaster. And perhaps you? I'm not sure.

Things are getting kind of dark on our end. I'm not sure if you know, but… Caradoc Dearborn has gone missing. We've had people looking, but at this point we are thinking we won't be seeing him again. Do you know anything about him?

It is strange to know that my time is running out. Within the next nine months... and James is already talking of wanting another child. I can't do that, though. I have told him I need more time, and he is okay for now.

One thing about knowing you have a limited amount of time does though is truly make you appreciate the present. Harry might not have much time with me, and I am not sure how many memories he will hold onto. It won't be for lack of effort, though. I am shocked at how good a mother I am actually capable of being. I always thought I would be… well… preoccupied with life goals.

Considering I know we will make it to our appointed times, I am encouraging James to make the most of his own time as well. He might not know what is coming, but his friends will be able to say he was full of life until the very end. In fact, he is out with his best friends right now, probably singing badly in a pub somewhere with Remus while Sirius and Peter try to pick up women. If you ever get the opportunity in the future to get to know Remus Lupin, you should. I think your personalities would mesh nicely. Just keep in mind… he's a horrendous singer. One of the worst I have ever heard.

I hope to hear from you soon. Please send on a picture of Draco when you get the chance. I enclosed a picture of Harry and myself for you. The stuffed dog seems to be his favorite. That explains why its ears look soaking wet. He sucks on them. He tried it on a real dog that looks similar recently. He didn't seem to like it too much.

Love, Lily

The picture was of Lily and Harry lying on a large picnic blanket. Harry had a tiny fist gripped around the snout of a very Padfoot like dog. She was right. The fur on the ear looked matted and somewhat stiff. She laughed at the idea that it was really Padfoot's ear he had sucked on, imagining Sirius's reaction.

In a small wizarding pub in Cardiff that had come to be a regular meeting spot of sorts for members of the Order of the Phoenix, The Marauders sat at a rounded corner booth, talking quidditch loudly enough to annoy the other patrons.

"It isn't as if Dumelle really had a shot of saving it. I mean, with one broken arm and no more backup… all he had was his body to prevent the quaffle from going in, otherwise he's taking the shortcut to the ground," Sirius was saying.

Remus was shaking his head, "Which is why they need to make a league mandate regarding reserve players. This 'one reserve' thing is ridiculous. Quidditch is getting more and more dangerous and flashy to keep up with things. Like that game in Brazil last year? Three players from the same team all struck by lightning and their solution is some Pain Potion and a pat on the shoulder? It's no wonder refs end up in the Sahara. People get pissed off at seeing their loved ones maimed and curse the refs for a bit of vengeance."

James tipped his drink slightly in agreement, "I'm all for an exciting game, but considering I am a father now…"

His voice trailed off proudly, and Remus and Sirius puffed up their chests before doing a sing-song imitation of the now customary James Potter phrasing: "Considering I am a father now."

James smacked Sirius across the back of his head as he rolled his eyes and looked at Peter for backup. Peter, though, was not listening to the conversation. Instead, his eyes were locked on a witch standing behind the bar, passing pints to a couple of customers.

"Earth to Peter," James said, smirking. "McKinnon caught your eye?"

Sirius laughed, "Come on… he's been mooning over McKinnon since third year. Pun intended, Remus."

Remus chuckled, good naturedly, taking a sip of his beer.

"Seriously, Peter. You good?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

Peter was starting at the witch with an odd look on his face. After a moment, he nodded. Resolution was settling onto his face, an expression that was rare for him.

"I'm going to bag McKinnon," Peter said.

The three Marauders were silent for a moment before laughing, and Remus tapped the side of Peter's mostly full pint. "Bag McKinnon? Marlene McKinnon? I don't think Sirius even managed to squeeze through that trap door."

"I'd like to say I saw it for what it was, but… no, she's not that sort. There is no bagging McKinnon. McKinnon bags you," Sirius said. "She's certainly the sort to let you know if she's interested though, if you listen to Fabian Prewett, that is."

"Listened," James said, quietly. They all took a solemn sip of their drink before James continued. "Seriously, though, Peter… McKinnon isn't going to happen for you."

Peter looked at him with building anger. "And why not?" he snapped.

The three other marauders looked at him in confusion. McKinnon is… prime rib, Wormy," Sirius said. "We are… steaks. Good steaks, but… steaks. And you… well… what about that ginger chick at St. Mungo's! She's cute. Seems to like you well enough."

Peter frowned, "Lizzy? She's…, well, I like McKinnon. She was always nice in school."

"I don't think you are her type, mate," Remus said, frowning slightly.

"And what is her type? Werewolf?"

Remus's lip twitched in anger, and they all heard the slightest growl. James put a hand on his shoulder.

"Think of Fabian Prewett," James said, "Super tall. Muscular. Serious and…. He was like… one of those strong men that are lifting broads up into the air on each hand above their head sort of tough. I mean, it took a whole slew of Death Eaters to take them down. All of us look like wusses compared to them."

"Speak for yourself," Sirius said, winking.

James flipped Sirius off and continued. "You don't have a chance mate. Sorry."

Peter stood up, sloshing his beer a bit as he did so. "I'll show you!" He tipped his beer back and chugged it down before slamming it on the table and stomping toward the bar. The Marauders watched in growing amusement mixed with a bit of horror.

"This is one of those moments I'll wish I had a pensive for later," Sirius said, quietly. The other two nodded, absently.

Peter slid onto a barstool and raised a hand to gesture Marlene over. They had always been friendly. At Hogwarts, they had even been assigned to work together in Care of Magical Creatures sometimes. Now, they saw each other at Order meetings. James didn't know what he was talking about.

"Hi Peter. What can I get for you?" Marlene said, smiling warmly.

He cleared his throat, summoning his courage. "Another pint, please?"

Marlene nodded, pouring the beer while Peter thought of what to say. She sat it down between them. "Four sickles to you, Peter."

Peter put down five, not touching the beer yet. Marlene smiled as she scooped the money off of the counter, putting the extra in the pouch at her waist.

"I was thinking after the next meeting you might be hungry," Peter said, trying to sound confident. To his pleasure, his voice only squeaked once.

Marlene shrugged. "Sometimes. Usually I am here beforehand, though, so I can always grab a bite from the kitchens."

Peter shook his head, blushing a little. "Oh, no… I mean… I was thinking if you are hungry we could go out for dinner after."

Marlene looked over his shoulder at the Marauders staring at them from their corner table. "Uhm, who else would be coming? I feel like I would be a bit of a fifth wheel, and I hear Lily is staying in with the baby for the most part."

"Well, actually…. Just us. Maybe I could take you to dinner after. A date."

"A Date," she said, her expression growing a bit anxious.

"Yes," Peter said. All in. "The thing is, Marlene… I think you are really nice. And really pretty. I think we'd have a good time, and who knows what would come of it?"

Marlene blushed, shifting uncomfortably. "I'm… uhm, you are a great friend, Peter, but… well, I am not really interested in dating anyone right now. Fabian… well, I thought we would eventually become serious, and now… well."

"I'm patient! I wouldn't expect you to drop your knickers on the first date or anything," Peter said, desperation starting to come out in his voice.

Marlene pushed her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder, smiling sympathetically. "I know, Peter… Uhm, it's just… well, I don't really feel that way about… about you. I'm sorry."

"Why not?" he said, abruptly.

Marlene's discomfort was so palpable the people at the bar had quieted down and started to take notice. She took a deep breath. "I-I'm sure you are a very nice date, Peter. And I am happy to be your friend, but… I'm just not… attracted to you. I don't want to date you."

"Fucking gossips" Peter spat, clinching his fingers as if imagining a throat to squeeze.

"Excuse me?!" Marlene said, starting to get irritated. At their table, Remus started to get up, but James and Sirius pulled him back down.

"I didn't imagine you to be the sort to fall for stupid gossip about people, Marlene. I thought you were smarter than that!" Peter said, his voice getting a bit louder.

"What gossip?" Anger was starting to seep in for poor Marlene.

"Listen, I might be a bit shorter than most men… and I might not be able to lift you up in the air with one hand," Peter started. Marlene looked absolutely baffled at that.

"But if you need a man to keep you in line, no matter what people have told you, I can give it to you however you want! I can be rough! I might not look like some stupid meathead, but I can satisfy you, Marlene! See here!"

Peter leaned over the bar, grabbed Marlene's shoulders and pulled her into a kiss. After less than a half a second, he found himself tossed to the floor. Marlene glaring as she picked up his beer and tossed its contents on top of him. "James! Remus! Sirius! Get your loser friend out of here before I curse his brain to be the size of his tiny prick!"

The Marauders jumped to their mission, hauling Peter off the floor in shock and pulling him outside.

"What the hell, Peter?! James said.

"Dude, you are seriously going to have to grovel at the next Order meeting," Sirius chimed in, laughing in a shocked sort of way.

"No, there is no coming back from that," Remus added, looking at Peter with a very unimpressed expression. "Quite unlike you, Peter. What's got you so wound up?"

Peter groaned, pushing Sirius's hand off of his shoulder. "Merlin! You lot aren't much better than her! I am quite aware that I am…. That I don't look like one of you, but that doesn't mean I can't be as good as you!"

"We have never said anything-" James started, but was quickly cut off.

"I'm not stupid, James!" He said, and then he apparated away, finding himself, to his shock, at Malfoy Manor.

He walked up the drive, slightly confused as to why he was here. Still, after climbing the steps, the front door opened, allowing him entrance. A house elf appeared, "Mr. Pettigrew, I's be tellings the master you is here." Then, he popped away.

Hermione and Lucius had just been climbing into bed after a rather steamy shower together when Boden appeared in their bedroom. "I's sorry, Master. Mr. Pettigrew is here. Should I be sendings him away?"

Lucius plopped his head back on his pillow and groaned. "What time is it?"

"Almost midnight, Master," Boden said, feet shuffling slightly.

"Tell him I will be with him shortly," he said.

Hermione rolled onto her side next to him, running a hand down her husband's rib cage. "Do you want me to come downstairs, too?"

Lucius sighed, "No. No matter how sexy it is to see you toy with him like a cat batting around a mouse, I'm not in the mood to watch him salivate over you. Hopefully, I can get him out of here quickly."

Hermione leaned in, kissing Lucius's bare shoulder. She appreciated not having to get into character for Peter Pettigrew of all people. "I wonder why he is here…"

Lucius sat up and grabbed his wand from the nightstand, using it to straighten his hair out and then summoning his clothes to him from the bathroom. "You know, when he was made my mission, I truly thought the Dark Lord was crazy… well, crazier than before. I fully expected you to come out and tell me that Pettigrew was a bust, too useless to actually cause any damage. The thing with Dearborn though… that was unexpected."

Hermione nodded. "I didn't have to deal with Pettigrew much, and he always seems sniveling and weak. His sense of self-preservation and dreams of being better than he is will justify almost anything for him, though. He has all of the ambition of a Slytherin, but none of the guile."

"Shocking he was placed in Gryffindor," Lucius said, buttoning his shirt.

Hermione shrugged, "Too weak for Slytherin, too dumb for Ravenclaw, and too disloyal for Hufflepuff…. And they call Hufflepuff the catch-all house…"

"And bravery?"

Hermione snorted, "I suppose it takes a measure of courage to betray the only people who love you."

"That and a whole lot of idiocy. Go to sleep, Cissa. I'll be up soon." He kissed his wife on the lips and left the bedroom, walking downstairs to his office. Peter was already there, sitting next to the fire and staring into it broodingly.

"Mr. Pettigrew," he greeted, allowing a measure of annoyance to come through in his tone. "What brings you by so late? Couldn't sleep?"

Peter had the good sense to at least look a bit abashed at the veiled reprimand. "I've been out with some friends. Got tired of their grandstanding and decided to come here. How are you? Is Cissy already in bed?"

The familiarity had Lucius raising his eyebrow. "Never let her catch you calling her that. She'd likely cut your tongue out."

Peter nodded, eyes wide.

"Yes, she is in bed. She sends her regards, but she's had a busy day. Our son is getting a few teeth and has been quite difficult as a result."

"I've heard it is difficult. James' son, Harry, just got his first a few weeks ago. Barely eating or sleeping, the poor thing," Peter commented, casually.

"Hmm, indeed," Lucius replied, sitting down in the chair next to Peter's. He saw Peter glance over at the drink cart, but there was no way he was about to provide a drink to someone that had just randomly decided to drop in and disrupt what should have been a nice, easy bedtime routine.

"What can I do for you, Peter?"

Peter blushed this time. "Uhm, we are friends, right Lucius?"

Internally, Lucius groaned. Externally, he nodded. "Of course."

"You've been really great, you know, with making sure my mom is cared for, and I think you know I am… am a capable wizard?"

"Capable of many things, yes," Lucius encouraged blandly, thinking of how Dearborn's eyes had slightly protruded from his head.

"Why don't my friends see that? I mean.. my other friends?" he asked, sounding desperate.

Lucius sighed, gazing into the fire. "Most likely because you haven't given them opportunity. People who come by power and respect easily…"

"Like you?"

Lucius nodded, conceding the point. "I suppose. It is easy to maintain that position. It is made even easier by letting the smaller people be small. If I give someone I consider less able than myself lower expectations and standards, they never have to struggle to make it bigger. And because they are not forced to struggle to gain standing, they never do. What would Sirius Black and James Potter truly gain by you becoming as powerful as them? Why would they want you to be if it does them no good? Besides, I am sure they like having you there to be what they consider a contrast to themselves. A match burns much brighter in a dark room."

He felt bad that, to an extent, he agreed with the words he was speaking. Especially since they would likely be a driving force that would ultimately end with his wife's only other friend here being murdered.

Peter was silent for several minutes. "Why do you and…. The Dark Lord…. Why don't you want me to stay small?"

Lucius looked at him and spoke carefully. "We are Slytherins. It is to our great advantage that you be useful to us. You are not useful to us if you are weak and powerless. We need you to be more than that, and if that means expending our own energy and time to help you become powerful, we will gladly do that. We will help you become whatever you want to be and more, hoping that your gratitude will lead you to act in ways that further our own interests."

"That doesn't sound much like… friendship," Peter commented.

Lucius rolled his eyes. Gryffindors. "And wanting you to remain beneath me is something a friend would do? Be honest with yourself if not with me, Peter. Are relationships bad simply because those involved have something to gain from them? Does every human interaction have to be selfless to be considered good? You need to stop looking at the world as black and white. We are not so evil; they are not so good."

Peter was silent then. "What do you want from me?"

Lucius stood from his chair. "Me, personally? Nothing that I can think of. At the end of the day, your status, strength, desirability have no influence on how pleasant my own path is. The Dark Lord? I am sure he will tell you when he is ready. Until then, know that we have no intentions of hurting you and truly do want you to become the wizard you obviously want to be. You are welcome to stay as long as you like, but I must go to bed. I have a meeting with a few people on the Hogwarts Board of Governors tomorrow. Can't have Dumbledore destroying the place before Draco attends."

Peter nodded and stood, "I will be off, Lucius. Thank you for…. Your honesty." He stuck out his hand, and Lucius smirked as he took it.

"Whenever it suits me," he replied.

Author's Note: It is worth keeping in mind that Lucius, while not evil, is every bit a Slytherin. While he does appreciate his select friendships, he also sees friendship differently than just "I like this person". While I don't personally see relationships as business-like as he does, there is something to be said for the quality of a relationship that allows for an exchange of help. No good relationship will ever be made of a giver and a taker, you have to be both to grow individually and to grow closer together.

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