Chapter 48

This chapter is dedicated to breaker99, irishleesh93, awkwardllama, jacpin2002, BUBU30, Strawwolf, as well as all the other anons that left reviews!

Zuko

"What were the two of you discussing?" His mother asked, next to his father with a smile that wounded Zuko.

He couldn't answer at first, his mind too undone from just seeing them together. There was a familiarity between his parents that he had never seen as a child, wearing clothing so close in cut and color, the way they seemed to gravitate around each other, they were more of a union now than they had ever been in the 17—almost 18 years he'd been alive. But there they were, standing close enough to touch.

It sickened him. Scared him, even.

What's more, it was betrayal.

How could she be near him, knowing what he did? How manipulative he was?

He wasn't sorry that the concubine, Tiang, was dead—she killed hundreds on Kyoshi, ruined his mother's happiness, upturned his life and nearly killed Katara.

He was sorry, however, that his mother had to be the one to kill the woman.

Azula eyed him slyly, but there was a nervous edge to the pursing of her lips. Her mouth opened for the briefest moment, and then closed, clamping together with an audible snap of her teeth. Zuko too, stared dumbly at his parents, unable to speak, barely able to think.

His mother's lips quirked, and she brushed her husband's shoulder tenderly, and Prince Ozai seemed to relax into her touch, eyeing his children less skeptically than he had before. "I don't think we're going to get an answer out of them, my love. Such are the secrets between siblings, as you well know. "

"Hm…" Their father mused, "Perhaps you're right, my dear." And he turned, looked at her with an adoration that made him want to hurl.

My head hurts…my heart too.

He wished Katara were here.

"You did come to speak with Azula, after all." His mother said, though her light golden eyes pierced Zuko's not Azula. A chill ran down his spine, and he felt rooted to the spot. "Might it be better if we speak to them…separately?"

Her husband looked mildly put out at his wife's words, dark eyebrows narrowing slightly at Zuko's mother, the lines around his mouth suddenly more pronounced as his gaze hardened at his children. Princess Ursa's hand trailed lightly down her husband's arm, and he turned to her, communicating a message he couldn't hope to decipher.

I don't want to. This is…this is wrong.

"Ozai…" She seemed to implore, raising a perfect eyebrow at him.

After a moment he exhaled, resigned, and turned to Azula.

"Come daughter." He ordered, leaving no room for defiance in his tone, Azula could hardly say no. Then he started to walk away, hands clasped behind his back, the picture of ease and calm.

Sparing one last hesitant glance towards her older brother, Azula turned, wordlessly following their father down the hall. He tried to tell her that she was going to be okay, that she didn't need him, but it was too late.

She was gone.

And he was alone with his mother.

Watching them go, his mother let out a steady breath through her nose. When they'd gone from sight, she turned towards her son. Zuko felt something uncomfortable lodge itself in its throat, words that were hurtful and accusatory and things he really wanted to say but couldn't—shouldn't. His eyes burned in pain.

She reached for him with a shaking hand, but he couldn't. He pulled from her.

"How could you?" He asked, harshly, he couldn't keep the pain and anguish from his voice—though he had to fight to get the words out—his voice was raspy and rough to his own ears.

He almost regretted it—something burned in the pit of his stomach—something that made him want to curl into a ball, never speaking to anyone again.

She looked so hurt, as the tears welled in his mother's eyes and he knew that he was to blame. But he'd already spoken—he couldn't take the words back, no matter how upset it made her.

"You have to understand—," She pleaded, reaching out again, but grasping at nothing—he'd already taken a step away from her.

He could only gawk at her in abject frustration.

"Understand what? You know how I feel—what he's done." He hissed the words in a low voice, careful not to be overheard, thought all the servants were suspiciously absent. "—and you walk around on his arm like it's nothing! Like she did."

That was low. That was cruel of him. Maybe Zuko was turning into something not quite like himself, now.

His mother faltered, unsteadily swaying on her feet. She barely caught herself before hitting the ground, grasping a pillar for support, leaning against it weakly. Small, quick breaths left her mouth. Zuko had never felt more awful. More than just the pain in his mother's golden eyes—there was fatigue—she looked so tired.

"How could you say that to me?" She gasped out, and the regal Princess Ursa looked so shattered.

He shattered her. It was all his fault.

"I misspoke." He said lowly, head hanging, gripping his trousers in his hands—he was truly sorry for that last remark, but the anger within him refused to allow a more sorrowful apology. "I apologize. I'm sorry."

"Are you?"

"Yes. You're not her. You never were." He bit out through clenched teeth

He didn't know whether his mother believed him or not, but she straightened, eyes narrowing, roving over her son's face—examining, scrutinizing him.

"What…What do you know?" She asked after a moment, a suspicious lilt to her voice, thought it was so small in volume he could barely hear her.

Zuko snorted. "What does it matter, what I know?" He shook his head, trying to clear it. "The truth remains all the same."

"No." She snapped. Suddenly she didn't look tired—she looked furious. She approached him, only towering over him slightly, and it was his turn to stagger, disconcerted at the suddenness of her approach. "No, Zuko." She repeated, and he was thrown off balance enough that she did grab him this time.

Her sharp nails pricked his skin through the fabric of the thin robe he wore. Her eyes blazed like fire—and Zuko stood there, dumbly—she'd never been this angry at him.

"I-I…" Was all he got out, staring up at her, eyes wide.

"What do you know?" The ferocity with which she shook his arm, her tone both manic and pleading…he didn't know what to say.

She scared him.

He swallowed the choke in his throat, coughing, looking to the right and left for passerby before his eyes found his mother's frantic ones again. "I…I know that Tiang killed Uncle Iroh." She nodded. "I know that he made her do it." The death-grip on his arm slackened slightly as his mother took a step away from him. "I know that he made you kill her…and…I think that he poisoned Katara that night in order to do it."

She swallowed, face grim. Though she didn't speak after his declarations...if anything she looked even more world-weary.

"Father's dangerous!" He pleaded with her, holding her hand this time. His mother looked down at their clasped hands in surprise at first, before finding his face. "You know this! Why—Why are you with him?"

But she ignored his question. "Since you know all these things, I imagine that Katara does as well." She said flatly.

"Mostly everything." He said quickly, he didn't want her to know all his thoughts. He looked out towards Katara, but her back was to him, he couldn't see her beautiful face. Yue though, looked irate. "I-I don't want to bother her. She's been through enough."

"You underestimate her." His mother said almost smugly.

He could have laughed.

"I think I'm the only person that doesn't underestimate her. She's amazing—more than I deserve." He said the last part quietly, hopefully his mother didn't hear him.

"Indeed." His mother said, with something dark in her tone—perhaps she hadn't heard him, after all.

I can't let her know that I know about the bloodbending.

"She's so amazing, in fact…" He said quickly, trying to change the conversation. "She's trying to save Yue from…from…herself, mostly."

"While you save Lu Ten?" Zuko's mother quipped knowingly, an eyebrow raised slyly. "I hear you've been acting as his advisor."

"I'm his cousin. It's what I should do." He said firmly—helping his cousin survive was his goal now—that and keeping Katara safe. "Katara feels the same way for Yue—at least I think she does."

His mother laughed at that. "The girl doesn't deserve the kindness."

"Her family begs to differ." Zuko could have laughed as he spoke, had the entire day not been so tragic and fucked. "They seem to think she's redeemable."

The look she gave him said that he was missing an obvious point.

"Then why is it so surprising that I stand beside your father?" His mother asked, eyes shining with something he couldn't decipher.

Zuko threw up his hands in exasperation. "Because he's a murderer, Mother! He killed Uncle Iroh!" His mother looked away, breathing through her nose once before turning back to him, eyes hardened and cruel. "If Lu Ten knew—he'd probably kill us all!"

"Oh please, Lu Ten wouldn't." She fired back; arms crossed over her chest. "He's not Sozin's son or Azulon's son. He's Iroh's son."

What happened to my mother? When did she become so cruel?

Zuko shook his head, something breaking inside of him. "Whose side are you on, Mother?"

She stepped towards him, but he retreated, moving away from her—they were too fragmented now—he couldn't trust her. Not now. Not ever.

Those gloomy eyes were back, no longer shining, but weighed down by something hidden. "Yours Zuko…always."

Zuko scoffed at her, turning away. "Forgive me if I find that hard to believe..." He shook his head again, before starting to walk away from her—towards Katara. "The way you looked at him…"

The way you've never looked at him.

Before he walked away, into the garden and the bright midday sun, he heard his mother call out to him—and he almost paused—but he didn't trust her anymore. He locked that part of him away for now, until he could deal with the hurt later—if that time ever came.

"You can question my behavior, Zuko…" She said, her voice only slightly louder than the leaves rustling in the trees. He strained to hear her, but he didn't turn. He couldn't. "…But never my motives."

Azula

"Are you quite alright, Azula? You seem…disoriented, daughter,"

She couldn't look at him. Wouldn't. She kept her eyes on the window in front of her, even as he led her into an unused chamber just off the garden. She still felt that unease, that hollowness in her stomach that was so unlike her. He wasn't wrong that she was disoriented.

But she lied anyway.

"Of course not, Father, I'm well…thank you." She said, even as he walked away from her.

Her mind was of two words—On one hand, she should have left with Jet that day, fought their way past the guards that threatened to kill him should she try to run. But that ship had long since sailed—Jet would be miles from the Fire Nation coastline by now, any hope of him returning would have long passed her by. His eyes though, when she'd left him behind…If she could talk to him, perhaps he'd ask her how she could choose her father over him? But the answer was easy—she'd been selfish, though she'd told Jet that from the beginning. Their relationship was never truly destined to succeed.

But Azula was nothing if not a strategist, and every plan requires a back-up, a tactic if things went horrifically wrong—and as she stared at her father in profile, calmly looking out over the city below, she swallowed, balling up her fists and trying to strengthen her resolve.

This was her back up.

Unlike my mother, I will survive. He won't kill me; I won't let him.

"Truly?" Turning to his daughter, Prince Ozai raised a thick brow. "I worried that recent events might have changed your…disposition towards me."

"My disposition?" Azula questioned, as the pieces snapped into place. She could feel her mind working again, escaping the fog it had been since Jet had left—trapped even more so by her mother's murder. "Of course not, Father. The boy was just a momentary distraction. I…thank you for reminding me. I-I know now What's most important. What has always been important."

She tried to ignore the way her brain screamed liar at her. Spirits, she'd developed a conscience. Maybe it had always been there, lurking below the surface…Jet and Smellerbee, Katara and Zuko, even her own mother must have brought it out of her.

But still, she must survive. And survival meant staying in her father's good graces.

Ozai nodded, seemingly pleased by her answer. "I believe Azula, that given time, you'll truly understand what it means to be part of this family."

I thought I knew.

I don't know what I know anymore.

"Of course." She murmured, stepping closer to him. He still didn't turn and face her, but he was smiling, so she felt comfortable, comforted. "Father…about Mother—," She started, when his eyes met hers, frigid and cold. Spine going rigid, she lapsed into a stunned silence, lowering her gaze to the floor.

Damn.

You're not out of hot water yet Azula…don't waste the opportunity in front of you.

There was a pause that lasted for ages as she waited for him to speak. The noise of the town below the hill was distant, a quiet din that she listened to while she waited…normal merchants and regular common folk freer than she would ever be. But Azula was pragmatic—she would hold her tongue, and deal with the cards she was dealt. She couldn't outsmart him…she would have to play his game…

Finally, after an eternity, he spoke.

"I've been thinking, Azula…that it's time to get you married as well."

What?

Her head snapped up, mouth dropping open as she stared at her father blankly. Did he just say…?

But he stood there, hands calmly clasped behind his back, face the perfect image of serenity. His lip curled upwards smugly; his dark eyes roamed across his daughter's shocked expression with only the barest hint of amusement showing on his face.

"W-What?" She asked, taking a step backwards. "But I'm…"

Azula couldn't think—

Ozai gestured for her to come closer. But her feet wouldn't move. Sighing, her father explained, "It shouldn't upset you this much, Azula, your brother's bride is younger than you. Besides, the Family comes first. It has taken much effort to recover our relationship with the Earth Kingdom. Your cousin's marriage to Princess Song has secured the Northern parts of the Earth Kingdom, but King Bumi of Omashu is another matter entirely."

"He hasn't forgiven us for offending his granddaughter all those weeks ago."

Offended? You tortured her, Father, not said her hairstyle looked bad!

"Either way," Her father continued on in a blasé tone, "I've offered you to him as a way to soothe his anger."

Azula couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her father had screwed up, acted on misinformation, and now she must pay the price? Huh. Perhaps it was only fitting—she was partly the reason Jin got arrested in the first place—but still "King Bumi? But he's ancient! He's…He's…" She shook her head; the thoughts wouldn't come fast enough to say. She knew, somewhere in the back of her mind that she would have to marry for political gain, she was a princess, after all. But…she thought it would be one of her father's lackeys, someone that she could mold to her wishes and whims, all while serving her father.

That was before Jet. Since him, he was all she envisioned.

But not someone half-way around the world and nearly 4 times her age!

"Don't you understand?" Her father asked slowly, mouth forming each word with precise intent, as though she were a small child. He continued after a moment "With your brother's marriage and your marriage, we will have a foothold in every prominent royal family in the world!"

"What about the air nomads?"

He waved that off, a pale had coming up to swat in her general direction. "Inconsequential." His eyes narrowed at her, his voice grew sterner, making it clear that this wasn'tup for negotiation. "You will go to King Bumi, you will marry him, you will bear him a child, and then…" he trailed off

And then…?

"Are you finished in here?" Princess Ursa's grating voice said from behind her, and she could have cursed the woman's name. What happened after she married King Bumi?

But her father didn't seem bothered in the slightest, if anything, his face only brightened as his legal wife walked into the room, every click of her footsteps irritating. Azula's heart sank at the sight, there was a time when her father gazed up at her mother in that way…those days seemed so long ago.

"Almost." Her father smiled a wide, toothy grin, reaching out and clasping Ursa's hand tenderly. "I was waiting for you."

"Why thank you, husband." Zuko's mother said sweetly, leaning into Azula's father.

She wanted to throw up. Or burn her eyes. Whatever it took to forget this sickening image in front of her.

"I was just explaining to Azula the bright and glorious future she has ahead of her."

"Ah." Was all Ursa said, knowingly sharing a look with her husband. Where was Zuko? "I see." She then turned to Azula, smiling brightly at her, as though she wasn't the very reason that Azula's life was torn apart. "If you ever need marital advice Azula, I can—,"

"Considering the last 15 years of your marriage, I can hardly expect good advice from you, Princess Ursa." Azula snapped harshly.

Ursa's smile faded and she cast her eyes downward, a dismayed expression written all over her features. Azula's pride swelled as smug satisfaction coursed through her veins—this lasted for all of a few seconds before she remembered that it wasn't just Azula and Ursa in the room. Her confidence dissipated as nervous eyes flickered in her father's direction.

Aside from his lips pressed together in a hard line, his eyes were as calm and apathetic as usual. No indication of anger, or displeasure. Azula considered herself safe for now. But she had to stay in her father's good graces.

She spoke wisely, forcing a bitter smile in Ursa's general direction "But…if you have any counsel, I'd be grateful for it." The words fought to escape her lips, and she wanted to take them back as soon as they left. "My own mother can't fulfill that difficult task, so I suppose I must trouble you, Princess Ursa."

"I'd be glad to do it, Azula." That unbelievably pleased expression was back on her face, as was Azula's nausea.

Her father stepped closer and ran a warm finger down her cheek. Azula fought for composure, to not shy away from his touch. "That reminds me, Azula, of how highly valued family is to the Earth Kingdom, particularly family background."

"I'm not sure what you mean, Father. Surely the Fire Nation Royal Family—," She started, but the hand that clasped her cheek came in front of her to cut off her words.

"I would hate for you to be the subject of ridicule at the Omashu court, so I thought it would be best for Ursa to formally adopt you."

WHAT? Adopted? By her? No. Not happening.

"I have a mother already, Father." She ignored the pity in Ursa's eyes and corrected herself. "Had a mother, I mean."

"And Lu Ten harbors a grudge against you because of her. Yesterday he wanted to marry you off to Laofu, the governor of Ember Island. I advocated on your behalf…You should be thanking me." He added at the end, tilting his head in her direction.

Laofu was old, almost as old as King Bumi, but at least if she married him, she'd be in the Fire Nation. How could her father think that sending her to Omashu, all the way on the other side of the world was a good idea? Clearly Ursa had controlled him—manipulated him into getting rid of the evidence of her rival's progeny.

"Besides," Her father added calmly, as though what he was proposing wasn't completely insane. It's not good for a girl to go into marriage motherless. Fortunately, Ursa is willing to step up to this insurmountable responsibility."

I don't want her.

"We'll have great fun together, Azula." Ursa said excitedly, reaching for Azula's hand. The touch was cool, but uncomfortable.

Don't touch me. Don't think you can be the mother I always wanted. My mother ignored me, but she was still mine.

"I think," Her father said slowly, walking around the pair in a calculative circle, "That it would be best for all parties involved that Ursa assume the role of your birth mother as well."

"B-But…" She started to say, but he turned to face her angrily, coming so close he was inches away from her face.

"Let me make one thing perfectly clear Princess Azula, you're my daughter. You belong to me." He growled, aggressively towering over her. His teeth clenched and his eyes blazed with molten fire.

Azula's mouth fell open as her composure faltered, shaking, her knees threatening to give way beneath her at the hostility. Ursa tugged on her arm, steading her, then she wrapped an arm around Azula's shoulders, but Azula could barely feel the touch. Instead, she was held by her father's burning gaze, one that threatened to shrivel her into nothingness.

"You will be Ursa's daughter. Your mother will never have existed. You will do as I say, and I will hear no more questions on the matter. Do you understand, Azula?"

The threat was clear. She stared at him for a few seconds before realizing that he wanted her to answer. "Y-Yes, I understand Father." She said, nodding rapidly, unable to keep the shaking from her tone.

And then, just like that, it was over.

The pleasant calm her father usually displayed was back like nothing had even happened. He smiled down at her, every bit the proud father that he was before. He leaned away from her, and Ursa let go of her shoulders, and Azula had to wonder what was to become of her now.

Damn it.

She'd played his game and lost.

Just like Mother. Tiang.

"Well, good that's settled." Her father said, smiling at the pair of women as though they were discussing an arbitrary disagreement. This was her life! "Ursa, don't you think we should meet with Katara's family to discuss wedding plans?" He quipped nonchalantly, holding out his arm for Ursa.

"Of course, husband." Nodding pleasantly, Ursa threaded her arm through her husband's. Together they walked out the door as if they hadn't just completely ruined Azula's life. It slammed shut behind them.

She stood in the empty room for a long time after they'd gone, trying not to collapse to the ground, trying not to cry. In the end, she kept her composure, though she was breaking on the inside.

Azula had wanted to be in her father's good graces.

She just didn't know that she'd have to pay this much of a price.

Katara

"Yue, you're being unreasonable." Katara's mother said, mouth turned down in disapproval.

"I'm being unreasonable?" Yue indignantly gasped, a palm coming to rest on her chest. "You have Katara guilt trip me into retuning to the South Pole with you, and then you want to lock me away?"

"It's not forever—," Her mother protested, sympathetic eyes countered by Yue's own derision. "Just until the child is born—for your own safety."

Yue snorted crossly. "You mean for your own reputation."

"Yue!" Chieftess Kya leaned forward in frustration, turning to her father-in-law. "It's no use with her."

"Let her stay then, Kya, if she wishes." Pakku said calmly sipping his tea before eyeing his granddaughter with a barely concealed sneer. "On her head be the consequences then." He leaned forward, fixing Yue with a steely blue regard. "But if you get my great-grandchild killed…How will you bear the shame?"

She looked away from Yue when she heard his footsteps brushing over the grass. She didn't hear Yue's answer, but whatever it was made her mother groan in dismay. Katara turned as Zuko stood over her, his shadow blocking the harsh Fire Nation sun from burning the back of her neck. She could barely make out his expression, but it was his heart that she felt more. There was something…dark within him, something she couldn't quite pinpoint.

She didn't know where he'd been, or what he'd done, but whatever it was, it caused a melancholic cloud to form over his head…he looked drained. She didn't know what to say, didn't think anything would come out right.

He greeted her mother and grandfather, and murmured a low 'hello' to Yue, that the older girl pointedly ignored. Smiling, Katara's mother turned back to Yue and the arguing resumed. Pakku raised an eyebrow in suspicion before nodding his greeting.

"Zuko?" She said, blinking rapidly as the sun returned into view. Avoiding her gaze, he sat down next to her, glowering at the ground. She caught the worried glances of her mother and grandfather across the blanket, and leaning closer, she whispered, "Are you alright?"

"No…" He sighed under his breath, "Not even close," He whispered back. No one else heard him, and for that, she was thankful. "But you're here…it's not as awful as it was."

Reaching across the distance between them, she covered his hand with hers, offering him a smile.

She leaned in closer, and tried to think positive, to be positive, for both their sakes. He covered her tanned hand with his own pale one, he was so warm, and pat it gently. She couldn't help but grin. Who was supposed to be comforting whom, exactly?"

"Don't worry Zuko…It'll get better…you'll see."

It has to.

Two more chapters to go! And there's going to be a sequel too! Thanks for staying with me for so long!

LM