Here we are at part 5, wow, what a journey this has been lol. I have really enjoyed this series, and I hope yall are enjoying it as well! Have some fluff and family bonding time with our bb.

Also, the flannel that I mention in this fic is very important so heres a link to an adorable MGG pic because THIS flannel means EVERYTHING to me and this is the exact flannel I am referencing, so enjoy detail/news-photo/actor-matthew-gray-gubler-attends-the-sag-indie-brunch-at-news-photo/506656864

PT5

Reid awoke, fairly confused, laying alone in the bed of the Alaskan hotel room. He squinted his eyes open, attempting to adjust to the light and glance around the room.

Hotch was nowhere to be seen.

Reid rubbed his face, sitting up in bed. The minute the blanket he'd been wrapped in fell off, he realized that it was still freezing. He instantly began shivering, and grabbed the blanket once more, wrapping it around his body.

Slowly, as to not knock the blanket off his body, he shifted so that he could see the digital clock sitting on the nightstand. It was almost noon.

Reid's heart immediately started pounding, having realized that they were supposed to be on the plane home hours ago. He stood, bringing the blanket with him, and rushed over to where his phone was charging on the desk.

He quickly read through his messages, feeling the adrenaline rush begin to fade.

Hotch had texted him that the weather was too extreme, and they would be stuck in Alaska until the weather cleared up. Reid frowned at this, annoyed that he'd have to deal with the cold weather for longer, but he was thankful that he hadn't been left behind.

Reid sat back down on the edge of the bed, shivering underneath the heavy blanket. Then it hit him, where the hell had this come from? And how had he gotten into bed?

He yawned, rubbing his eyes as he searched his memory. The last thing he could recall was sitting down in front of the fireplace. He vaguely remembered people whispering around him, and someone playing with his hair, but other than that, his mind went blank.

Reid felt heat rush to his cheeks as he realized that he'd fallen asleep downstairs, and someone had carried him up here. His team members had carried him all too often and, though they never said anything about it, it always made Reid a little embarrassed.

He also realized that he was no longer wearing his work clothing and his blush set in even deeper. Hotch had probably dressed him like a child so that he hadn't had to sleep in uncomfortable clothing.

Feeling slightly shameful about the past evening, he decided he'd take a shower and at least try to look presentable.

Making his way to the bathroom, Reid threw the blanket on the bed and quickly rushed in to turn on the hot water. Luckily, it warmed fairly quickly, and steam began to build in the bathroom. Before the mirror became covered in condensation, Reid briefly looked himself over. He still looked very gaunt and pale, but his undereye bags were a little more under control after sleeping for over twelve hours the previous night. His hair stuck out all over the place but, luckily, the shower should fix that.

He quickly stripped and hopped under the warm spray of water, relishing in the heat.

Reid found himself once again standing under the shower head, doing nothing for quite a long while. He knew the minute he stepped out, he'd be cold again and, while he didn't want to use all the hot water up, he decided that he was probably the only one showering this time of day and it wouldn't matter.

When he stepped out of the shower into the steamed bathroom, he was thankful that he'd actually grabbed his bag this time. He was able to shift through his go-bag, looking for clean, warm clothing without shaking from the cold.

He had casual wear in his bag which he rarely got to wear, but now that they weren't technically working anymore, he figured he may as well opt for those rather than his thin button downs.

Reid pulled on his brown corduroy pants and looped his belt around his waist, pulling it to the tightest notch once more. Then he threw on a plain black long sleeve, the dark grey sweatshirt Hotch had given him, and then a red and black flannel that he'd forgotten he'd had in the bottom of his bag. Finally, he pulled on some mismatched socks and sneakers.

Stepping out into the chilly room, Reid was fairly happy with himself.

It certainly still wasn't enough, he still shivered slightly when the cold air hit him, but it was the warmest he'd felt save for when he'd been bundled in the heavy blanket this morning.

By the time he'd dried his hair enough so that it wouldn't freeze instantly, it was almost one in the afternoon, and Reid decided that he was in desperate need of coffee. He grabbed his phone, shoving it in his pocket, and left the hotel room.

The minute he stepped into the hallway he could hear the team talking downstairs. Reid smiled as he heard Emily, JJ, Rossi, and Garcia laugh at something while someone else (Hotch?) was groaning.

These were the best moments, when they could just act like a family. He moved towards the stairway but found himself stopping at the top.

Reid's smiled dropped from his face; he'd probably ruin the moment. He had been bringing down the mood recently and they probably didn't want him around. He'd just heard how happy they could be without him there; he didn't want to annoy them.

Plus, his appearance would probably bring Hotch a lot of stress, something the man did not need more of. Reid stood there a few moments, contemplating while listening to the occasional loud word or burst of laughter from the group.

Reid decided he wasn't going to join them, but when he began to turn around, he found himself bumping into someone.

"Shit, sorry" Reid apologized immediately, not having realized that it was Morgan who he'd stumbled into.

The man put his arms on Reid's, steadying him.

"Oh, hey Morgan. What are you doing up here?"

Morgan's brows furrowed; concern written on his face. "Uh, just grabbing my phone. Garcia hogged all the plugs last night charging all her equipment… Are you heading downstairs?" the man looked like he already knew Reid's answer, but he asked anyways.

"Oh, uh, I forgot something in my room and… I don't know, I think I might just read a little, but I might be down later?"

"Kid" Morgan said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "can… can we talk?"

"Uh I guess but I do really need some coffee in me so can we do it later?"

"Why don't I take you for coffee and we can do it there."

Reid swallowed the nervousness that had been building inside him. It had been hard enough talking to Hotch, now he was gunna have to do it with another teammate? Or what if this wasn't even about that, what if Morgan was going to tell him that he hated him? He had made it explicitly clear that he hadn't wanted to share a room with him during this trip, maybe he was going to tell him what he'd done to earn his hatred.

That had to be it. The man didn't care about him, he was just an annoyance. Morgan hated him, and he wanted to finally talk to him about what he'd done.

Reid gave a very small, reluctant nod, earning a smile from Morgan. The man patted him on the shoulder and began heading down the stairs.

Now Reid was very confused.

He slowly followed after the man, once again gripping the railing as he slowly trekked down the staircase. When he reached the bottom, the group had gone silent, looking up at his arrival. He awkwardly gave a smile, cursing himself inside his head.

He knew he would ruin their spirits.

Hotch and Morgan were speaking by the door in hushed whispers, but everyone else was just looking at him.

JJ stood up breaking the silence and handing him a cup of coffee. "Good morning sleepyhead," she stated casually with a soft smile, "you sure slept a long-time last night."
"Looked like you needed it," Rossi remarked, smiling as well.

"Yeah uh-" Reid coughed awkwardly into his hand, "I guess I did."

He sighed a breath of relief as the eyes turned away from him, refocusing on previous conversation. Reid very quickly downed the cup of coffee, his body relishing in the warmth of the liquid and the caffeine it had been craving.

By the time he'd finished, Morgan appeared before him.

"Ready?"

Reid nodded, following behind the man as he led them towards the door. He felt eyes on him and briefly turned his head, noticing Hotch. The man was watching the two of them leave, concern painting his features, but the minute he made eye contact with Reid his eyes softened, and a small smile inched onto his face.

Reid gave an awkward smile before turning forwards again, trailing behind Morgan.

The two of them piled in the car, Reid sighing when the hot air began to blast onto them. It didn't take more than a few minutes to make their way to a small coffee stand in a parking lot.

They got their coffee fairly quickly, and Morgan drove to a corner of the lot, parked, and proceeded to stare at Reid.

Reid ignored his eyes, choosing to focus on his very warm, delicious coffee instead. He hoped the man would just drive them back to the lodge and they wouldn't have to talk, but his plan seemed to be hopeless.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Reid couldn't help but meet the man's worried gaze. Morgan and he looked at one another for a few seconds before the man shook his head, breaking the gaze.

"Reid, what's going on man?" he started, clearly very upset. "I mean, you know you can tell me anything right?" He turned back to Reid, looking very deeply into his eyes.

Reid broke the eye contact, looking down at his lap. He clenched his jaw, unsure of what to say. "I-I don't know what I did to upset you b-but I truly am sorry Derrick-"

"Upset me? What? Reid, I'm not upset with you, I'm worried about you! You haven't been acting yourself the past few months and you look sickly, I want help, but you haven't let me. You haven't let me in. You need to let me in man."

"You… wait, so…" Reid was taken aback slightly by the information. "You don't… hate me?" he asked in a very small voice.

The silence was palpable as Morgan gaped at Reid. He truly did seem shocked at the question.

"Hate you? Kid, you're like my baby brother. I could never hate you! Why would you think…" realization dawned on Morgan's face, "oh."

Reid once again looked to his lap, avoiding eye contact. However, Morgan placed a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up at the man.

"Kid, look, I'm really sorry I said that. I didn't mean it like that. More than anything I didn't want to sleep with you because you tend to flail around a lot in your sleep and I didn't wanna get wacked in the face again. It wasn't because I hate you."

Reid bit his lip, nodding at this. He still wasn't thoroughly convinced that the man didn't hate him, but he did know he moved around a lot while he was asleep, so it was a valid excuse.

"Now can we discuss whatever's been going on with you?" Morgan asked, squeezing his shoulder in encouragement.

Reid took a deep breath, hoping he could keep his emotions in check this time. he was just going to give him the short version, the man didn't need all the details. Plus, he wasn't about to have another full breakdown in front of a teammate.

He was unsure of where to start, so, reluctantly, he brought his right hand out of his jacket pocket and held it out for Morgan to inspect.

The man instantly grabbed it, noticing the array of scars littering his knuckles. Morgan looked up with confusion and distress but didn't say anything. Instead, he did the same motion which Hotch had done, gently brushing over the scars with his own fingers.

Feeling a small amount of courage to speak, Reid took a deep breath.

"I, uh, haven't been doing super well lately. Mentally. Or uh, physically, I guess. I mean, I guess you already knew that, but it's been… rough." Reid swallowed, nerves beginning to flare a bit as the pit returned to his stomach. "It all started when I got shot in the knee. Being on desk duty is where I'm supposed to thrive, I'm horrible in the field, yet I kept messing things up. First it was victimology, then it was my geographical profile. Then… t-then we started losing more people because I wasn't fast enough to figure out who or where the unsub would be. Then JJ g-got hurt, and then Emily. All because of me and my stupidity, my inaccuracy in profiles."

Reid felt tears begin to well up in his eyes and he closed them, shaking his head at himself. He clenched his jaw, trying to hold in his emotions, but he was just too upset in reliving all his recent mistakes. He took a deep, shuttering breath before continuing.

"My problems were tiny comparative to all the bullshit Hotch went through, yet he's still functioning somehow and I'm just a liability. He's stronger than me, better than me. He doesn't deserve all the shit that happened to him but I…" Reid trailed off, a tear finally falling down his cheek as he finished in a tiny voice "I deserve it."

The car was silent once more as Reid's words sunk in. It was clear that Morgan was shocked, unsure of how to reply, so the man just kept a hold on his scarred hand instead.

After a few more moments, Morgan broke the silence.

"How'd this happen?"

"I punched my mirror."

Morgan looked at him with great concern. It was fairly obvious from the marks that he'd hit it more than once, and Reid was certain the other agent would put that together fairly quickly.

Reid bit his lip, turning away from the man in shame. "I guess there's something else too. Uh, I almost jumped off a bridge."
"What?"

"Well I guess technically I almost 'fell' off a bridge because I wasn't standing but-"

"Spencer," Morgan gently grabbed his face, tilting it towards his own. The man's eyes were filled with tears, ready to spill down his face, "you tried to kill yourself?"

Reid bit his lip again, avoiding eye contact, but ultimately nodded at Morgan's question. The man rubbed a hand over his head in clear distress, looking incredibly unhappy.

"I'm sorry."

"No, Reid, don't apologize, I should be the one apologizing. I should've noticed that you were struggling."

"It's not your fault-"
"No, it is kid, really, all of us should've noticed that you needed help. I mean I think we all knew something was up but none of us really reached out… I guess we all assumed that you'd come to us if something was really wrong…" Morgan stated sadly.

Reid gave a sad smile, eyes glinting with tears, "that's what Hotch said too. I didn't wanna put all of my problems on any of you guys… they're my problems, I should be able to handle them alone." He closed his eyes, letting tears flow freely as he thought about how pathetic he must look to Morgan now.

"That's the beauty of family, kid, you don't have to handle them alone. That's what we're here for." Reid laughed with a bit of joy and sadness at this, but it immediately turned into sobs. His body was beginning to break down once more as waves of emotion hit him.

Morgan reached across the console, grabbing Reid into a tight hug. Reid latched onto him like a leech, holding him as tightly as he could.

He cried over Morgan's shoulder for a short while. Luckily, he was not having as much of an emotional outburst as he had with Hotch a few nights ago. But Morgan didn't complain at all, holding him tightly and offering kind, whispered words in his ear as he let himself breakdown in the arms of his brother.

After a few minutes, the tears had stopped, but Reid's body was quaking like a leaf. It was a mix of adrenaline, caffeine, and a lack of food, as well as the damned cold which had seeped into the car over the last little while since Derrick had shut off the engine.

Morgan let go of him once he'd realized that the tears had stopped, but he still looked at him with concern.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm better now. T-thank you D-derrick." Reid said through chattering teeth.

"No, pretty boy, I know you're still not 'okay' okay but you're shaking a concerning amount…"

"I'm j-just c-cold. Its n-nothing." Reid said, wrapping his flannel around himself tightly.

Morgan looked him up and down, unconvinced, but turned the car on. "Well, we should probably head back anyways, they're probably wondering where we are. But really, kid, I want you to know that you can always talk to me about anything, okay?" Reid nodded, smiling a bit.

The heat kicked back on and Reid sighed in relief, putting his hands up to the vents.

"My god kid, your fingers are blue." Reid looked at his fingers, noticing the tinge of blue coloration on the tips.

"Oh"

"God your lips are turning blue too," he hit the heat, turning the air on full blast at the highest temperature setting, "I don't want you to end up in the hospital from hypothermia."

Reid nodded, leaning forwards into the heat.

The drive was short, once again, but Morgan insisted they stay in the car until Reid wasn't shaking as violently. Once the color had returned to his face and hands, Morgan finally shut off the engine.

Reid stepped out of the car, immediately beginning to shiver once more at the cold air. The wind blew hard and it was snowing so heavily that he could barely see the lodge that they'd just parked out in front of.

It was like his whole field of view was just a white canvas.

The two of them quickly made their way inside, Reid trembling from the cold again. He shook his head, dislodging lots of snowflakes which had fallen in his hair. The team was currently huddled around the fire where they'd left them, still chatting with one another.

Morgan headed upstairs, but Reid stood by the door, taking off his now sopping wet flannel and hanging it on the coat rack. His hands had already begun turning blue again and his skin felt icy cold.

He rubbed his hands together, hoping to get some heat back to them, but to no avail.

Emily suddenly appeared in front of him, grabbing his hands. Hers felt almost hot on his frozen fingers, and she led him over towards the fireplace. She gently shoved him to a sitting position directly in front of the fire, taking a seat next to him. JJ appeared on his other side, silently sitting and smiling at him. The two of them leaned against him and he allowed himself to receive their comfort, as well as the body heat they were providing him.

Reid was still shivering, but luckily he felt like he was starting to defrost a bit in front of the fire. A minute later, Morgan reappeared, holding the heavy blanket that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere when Reid had awoken a few hours ago. He handed it to JJ, who immediately threw it atop Reid.

"T-thanks M-Morgan" Reid said through chattering teeth. He didn't understand how he'd gotten so cold so quickly, yet Morgan was completely fine. Well, he did understand because the man actually had some muscle on his bones as opposed to being as scrawny as he was, and he'd been wearing a much heavier jacket… but no matter, he still didn't like it.

The two women sat with him in silence for a while, allowing him to warm up and listening vaguely to the conversations happening behind them between Garcia, Rossi, Morgan, and Hotch.

"Hotch talked to us a little about what happened" Emily said suddenly, breaking their silence. Reid felt a weight lift off his chest as he realized he wouldn't have to have the difficult conversation again with the team. He was sure that the man hadn't included all the details, but he was glad that they might be more up to date with what'd been going on.

He nodded at this, unsure of what to say.

"I'm sure you've heard this a lot the past few days," JJ started in a hushed voice, grabbing Reid's still freezing palm, "but we're here for you, and we love you."

Reid smiled, looking at the two of them. "Thank you." He said silently, voice catching a bit in his throat at their sincerity.

JJ seemed to notice the scars on his hand as she held it, but realization set upon her face rather than confusion. Hotch must've informed them about that too.

Part of Reid wanted to be angry or annoyed that the man had spilled the struggles he'd experienced the last few months. But instead, he found himself with much relief. It was weird, but he was glad that they knew, that he didn't have to hide his struggles anymore.

And he was glad that they'd stayed to support him despite his issues.

He sat for a while, warming by the fire and between his two sisters. They chatted over him, talking about nothing in particular, just enjoying one another's company.

Once he finally felt sufficiently warm, a little hot even, he realized that he needed something to eat. Reid clumsily stood up, leaving the blanket with the two women who stayed on the floor continuing their conversation.

Garcia and Morgan were chatting on the couch, laughing at something together. Rossi and Hotch were speaking next to the coffee machine. As Reid approached, the two quieted. He awkwardly smiled, moving towards the table sitting behind them that held a small amount of various foods.

Nothing looked incredibly tempting to him, he didn't even really want to eat anything. However, his stomach was growling at him in desperation.

He grabbed a cold bagel and peanut butter, as well as a fresh cup of coffee. Reid took a seat at the table, beginning to rip the bagel up into smaller pieces.

"You look like you should eat more than that, kid." Rossi said, sitting down next to Reid.

He looked up at the man, surprised that he was joining him.

"Oh, uh, no, I'm sure it'll be enough." He claimed, awkwardly smiling at the man.

"When we get back to DC, I'll have everyone over to my mansion for dinner and stuff you full of pasta until you're back to your normal self" Rossi gave a wink, leaning forward a bit, "and that's a promise."

Reid smiled at this, chuckling a bit. He had missed going to the team get togethers. He just hadn't really been up for them recently; he could only fake a smile for so many hours of the day.

Plus, the more the team offered him their support and affection, the more he realized that he'd been wrong about them. It seemed like they really did want to help, and that maybe he wasn't as big of a burden on them as he'd thought.

He sat with Rossi in a comfortable silence as he slowly consumed the bagel and his coffee. Reid was able to eat almost the entire bagel too, which was more than he'd consumed in quite a while.

The whole downstairs had fallen into a comfortable silence it seemed. There was no noise to be heard besides the howling of the wind outside and the crackling of the burning logs. Everyone was doing their own thing; reading, playing a computer game, napping, just hanging out together, contented.

Reid decided he wanted to grab a book from upstairs, so he tiptoed out of the lobby, trying not to disturb the silence.

He made it upstairs and into the hotel room quickly, grabbing his favorite book. When he turned around to head back downstairs, he had a slight heart attack.

"Shit!" Reid exclaimed, jumping when Garcia had seemingly appeared out of thin air in front of him. Before he could recover though, she threw her arms around him, bringing him into a tight hug.

He was stunned for a few moments, but soon returned it, hugging her back.

"Don't you ever, ever, do that again Reid" her voice said, quiet and wavering with sadness.

"Penelope-"

"No, Spencer," she said, pushing him away so that she could look into his eyes. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks, and she had a mix of anger, sadness, and concern on her face. "Don't you ever think that you're alone again. Don't ever, EVER, think you and your problems are a burden. Derek told me what you told him, and I don't know all the details but no matter what is happening in my life, you can ALWAYS reach out to me. I will always be there, I will always love and care about you and-" she choked on her words a bit, causing her to take a breath before continuing; "and I wouldn't be able to live in a world without you in it. So please, please, don't try… that… ever again. Please."

Reid had tears in his eyes, brows scrunching together in sorrow and a bit of shame as Garcia pleaded with him. He nodded, at a loss for words at her touching statement.

He hugged her again, tighter this time. "I'm sorry" he whispered, but she shook her head.

"No, don't apologize. Just promise me that, if nothing else, if you ever feel that desperately sad again, you'll at least come to me before you-" her voice caught again, and she cried a little into his shirt.

Reid felt a tear drop down his face and he nodded into her shoulder.

"I promise."

The two kept hugging a while before they separated. They took a few minutes to compose themselves before heading downstairs.

Stepping back into the lobby, they found everyone relaxing near one another, enjoying the rare calm that was settling around them. Reid sat down in one of the empty armchairs, opening his book.

He glanced around the room, feeling incredibly content for the first time in a long while. Looking around, he knew he was surrounded by people who loved and supported him unconditionally.

People who cared for him, and people who didn't feel burdened by his issues.

Most importantly, he knew he was surrounded by people who felt like he was needed in this world.

He was surrounded by his family.

And for the first time since he'd been shot in the knee, Reid felt his heart warm with what he'd been missing for so long.

Hope.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE ACTUAL HAPPY ENDING FOR ONCE
it's a rare find hehehe
also, I realized after writing this that small coffee stands in parking lots might just be a PNW thing... but there are these tiny lil stands that sell coffee where it's just a drive through and they kinda just show up in random parking lots all over the place in the PNW states... I know, it's weird, but you should look it up its actually pretty adorable
anywho, this is NOT the end of this series, but it is kinda wrapping up Reid's emotional rollercoaster that he experienced this season.
HOWEVER! I do have one or two more ideas to string in with this series that will be focused a little less on Reid's emotional turmoil, but will feature some exciting cuddling between the team!
I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and the series so far, have a wonderful day and thank you for all of your kindness :)