See the end notes for a spoilery warning for this chapter.

Overexposed

Miles had woken up feeling even better than he had the day before. He had even gotten to eat a bowl of lightly sweetened oatmeal, after his checkup, which his stomach hadn't rejected. Aches and pains persisted, but they didn't seem to limit him nearly as much. As doubtful as his parents were, Miles was all for his 'escape attempt'.

Even with everyone present being in on it, they still tried to make it look legit. Officer Cho, his dad's partner, came to check in with his dad. His mom stepped out for her morning break. His dad and Officer Cho went off to another room to talk shop. Then Miles unplugged his PICC line, turned off the vital signs machine next to him, pulled the various wires off of himself while leaving the sticky pads they connected to littered around his body. Lastly, because he'd miss it the most, he pulled off his nasal cannula. Then he turned himself invisible, and followed his dad and Officer Cho out of the closed ward, right past the officers guarding the doors. His dad started talking with those officers while Officer Cho walked off.

Could Officer Cho tell that he was following, or just hoping that everything was going according to plan?

Miles already felt tired by the time they reached the elevator and wound up leaning against the wall to take some of the weight off his feet. He missed his oxygen. It was an unfortunate reminder that for all that he'd healed there was plenty still wrong with him.

The elevators were just so far from the lobby. Why was that? And there didn't seem to be any side exit for Officer Cho to cut through to the parking garage. God, this was so much walking.

Wouldn't it suck if he passed out and lost his invisibility?

Check that, wouldn't it suck if he passed out and didn't lose his invisibility.

He didn't pass out, though he kind of wanted to, and he kept tailing Officer Cho. He kept in tune with his spider-sense, to keep anyone from running into him, as he focused on Officer Cho's back. He tuned everything else out. How fast his breathing had gotten, his racing heart, how heavy everything felt. Just keep following Officer Cho's back. He could do this. He was Spider-Man. Spider-Man could walk himself out of the hospital. Spider-Man could put one foot in front of the other.

When Officer Cho opened up the door to the back seat of his personal car, under the guise of tossing his coat on the back seat, Miles let himself collapse in after it. His dad's partner got into the driver's seat and started the car. He looked over his shoulder to back out of the space, before driving off.

"You're back there, right? I didn't imagine the car rocking a little bit?"

"I'm here," said Miles miserably. "But I might fall asleep."

"Yeah, well, it's a bit of a drive. But buckle up, yeah? Your dad would kill me if I drove you unrestrained."

"I won't tell him if you don't," said Miles.

"You think he won't ask me? I can't lie to that man."

Miles groaned in a not at all piteous way.

"You okay?"

"Ish," Miles said.

"Well, ish your way into a seatbelt, would you?"

Geez, this guy was spending way too much time with his dad.

Miles buckled the middle belt around his waist, leaving him free to continue stretching himself across the back seat. He dozed off pretty quickly, without Dad Jr. nagging him, which made his graceless fumbling with the belt worth it.

He came to as Officer Cho turned off the engine, a few seconds before the man spoke up to say, "We're here."

Miles groaned. He could have used a longer nap, but he couldn't just stay on Officer Cho's back seat all day. He slipped back into invisibility before squirming his way up into a seated position and undoing his seatbelt.

"Here's your house key," said Officer Cho.

"Thanks," said Miles.

"It's no problem," said Officer Cho. "Seriously. I'm glad you're okay. I'm glad I could help like this."

Miles was uncomfortably reminded of the heavy stakes they had both barely survived the week prior.

"You going to be okay getting into the house on your own?" asked Officer Cho.

"It's like, ten steps," said Miles. "I'll be fine."

He was not fine.

They'd never practiced steps in the hospital. There were no steps in the hospital. Miles felt dizzy by the time he reached the fifth step. He kept on feeling dizzy as he finally collapsed on the couch.

"Okay," he said to the empty room, "maybe I could have used another day in the hospital."

Sitting on the coffee table was a shoebox-sized device, placed by his mother the night before. Miles reached over and pulled the tube connected to it over to himself, and secured it around his head, slotting the cannula into place, before pushing the power button on.

"Oh, sweet oxygen, I missed you," said Miles. "Thank you, Jesus."

Ten steps earned him another nap, so Miles pulled the knitted blanket from the back of the couch down onto himself and dozed for the rest of the morning. He woke up a few times, but when he woke up from a stressed dream about a city in chaos, he decided he'd had enough of sleep for the moment.

He sat up, still thinking of the city beyond the curtains that were letting in a fraction of the noonday sun. He took stock of his weakened self. He was still wearing a hospital gown, still wearing electrodes and bandages he didn't need. He undid the ties on the gown and started unwrapping himself of his bandages, and pulling off the tacky electrodes stuck on him. It felt freeing. For all that he'd just been thinking he could have used more time in the hospital, he was definitely more than ready to have all of this stuff off of him. He wanted it all gone. He wanted the smell of chloraprep off of him. He stuck two fingers under the hospital band around his wrist, knowing that he could easily pull apart the clasp with his teeth, but relishing in using a smidge of super-strength to rip the thing off his wrist in an instant. Everything went onto his lap, and when he thought he had about everything off of himself, he stood up, letting the gown come fully off as he used it to make a bundle of the hospital trappings he'd divested himself of. The bundle in one hand, his oxygen machine in the other, Miles made a quick trip to the kitchen trash to throw the offending items out. He paused there, looking at the PICC line still in his arm.

He wanted it out, but his mom had forbidden him from removing it on his own and made him promise to wait for her to come home. Frowning, he made his way to his room to get dressed in a pair of sweats.

He'd looked up a video on how to take the line out, and it looked entirely simple. The only technical part was keeping everything strictly sterile. The rest was just pulling off the dressing, pulling the long tube out, and putting a bandage on it. Miles could understand why making sure that a hole in his arm to a vein leading directly to his heart didn't get infected was important, but his spider-healing was totally in full force! The infection he'd had at the hospital just went to prove his healing factor could handle an infection when it wasn't over-stressed. He really wanted that line out, and it would be so simple to get it out. Only the knowledge that he really needed to be on his best behavior with his parents kept him from ripping off the tape and going to town on the tube that ran through his chest.

His stomach grumbled.

Well, if he couldn't have the PICC line out, he could at least feed himself. It was no wonder he was hungry, he'd left the hospital when his nutrition bag was only half-empty, and it was already time for another bag. But there were no more IV feedings. There were nutrition shakes in the fridge for him. Miles's eye caught on a jar of peanut butter left out on the counter, though, when he reentered the kitchen.

No jar of peanut butter had ever looked so appetizing and appealing as it did to Miles in that moment. He snatched it up without a moment's thought and grabbed a table knife from the drawer. He opened the jar and stuck the knife in for easier carrying, before grabbing a box of graham crackers from the cabinet. This he stuck under his arm, so he could carry it, the peanut butter, and the oxygen machine back to the couch.

No one was there to judge Miles as he lay reclined on the couch with the jar of peanut butter tucked in the crook of one arm, pulling out half sheets of graham cracker to slather in peanut butter, and shoving them into his mouth. It was a simple pleasure.

His phone and laptop were still with his parents, so Miles turned on the television, tuning it to his favorite music station. He closed his eyes as he chewed. Good music, comfort food, and some privacy for the first time in forever.

Privacy, until there was a knock on the door.

Miles groaned to himself.

"Hello? Miles? Are you home?"

The voice was familiar, but Miles couldn't place it to someone who would be knocking on his door on a…Miles was pretty sure it was Saturday?

He went over to look out the peephole.

"Miles?" they asked, probably noticing the peephole darken. It was his guidance counselor.

Miles couldn't think of a reason not to open the door, so he did.

"Ms. Tremaine?"

She looked a little taken aback when he opened the door. In retrospect, perhaps the nasal cannula was a bit of an extreme look.

"Miles, hi," she said. "I'm…glad to see you up and about. Are your parents home?"

"Uh, no, they're at work," said Miles.

"Oh, do you know when one of them will be home?"

"In a little while, I guess," said Miles, still trying to figure out what his guidance counselor was doing at his home.

"Is there…anyone else home, I could check in with?"

"Um, no?" said Miles. He was definitely old enough to be home alone. "What's up?"

"Well," said Ms. Tremaine, very clearly trying not to frown, "I've been trying to get in touch with your parents about your return-to-school plan. Make sure everything's sorted for a smooth transition. Actually," she paused, and bent over, reaching to pick something up off the ground. "I left this in your door jamb a couple of days ago." She held out a card. It had the school logo, Ms. Tremaine's name and number, and on the bottom it said: Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson-Morales I'd hoped to see you on 4/9 for a home visit. Please give me a call when you are able.

"Oh," said Miles. He couldn't exactly say that his family had hardly been at the house for well over a week now. "We've been busy, I guess."

"I'm sure," said Ms. Tremaine. "I saw your father on the news about the Spider-Man case."

"Oh, yeah, well, both of my parents have been dealing with that, actually."

"And how have you been doing?" she asked.

"Uh, just tired," said Miles. He was kind of hanging off the doorway, at that moment. "Tylenol helps, and the rash's finally going away." He'd looked up mono pictures, and it was not pretty. The fact that there was still some faint marking to his skin did help the lie of it though.

"You're sure you're okay?" she asked. She was eyeballing the oxygen tube again.

"Oh, this?" asked Miles. Breathing trouble wasn't a symptom of mono. "Um, yeah, I had like, a secondary infection, but it's cleared up already." He rubbed at his chest, which was aching with the reminder.

"And, you're okay to be on your own?" she asked.

"Yeah," said Miles. "Just tired, you know? I should go lie back down, actually. But I've been working on my homework too."

"I'm glad to hear it," said Ms. Tremaine.

"Well, I'll tell my parents you came by," said Miles.

"Thank you," said Ms. Tremaine.

Miles huffed a sigh of relief when he was able to close the door and was quick to go collapse on the couch again. Well, he was definitely tired enough to actually have mono.

Too bad it was the kiss of beta and gamma rays that had put him in this state, and not the kiss of a cute foreign exchange student.

The next time there was a knock on the door, Miles ignored it. He wasn't going to get up just to have another awkward conversation at the door. Whoever it was knocked again, making Miles huff. He bolted up from his reclined position though, when someone unlocked the front door.

"Miles? You okay?"

"Ganke?" asked Miles

"Dude!" Ganke rushed forward to give Miles a big hug.

"Good to see you too," said Miles.

"Sorry, you kind of freaked me out when you didn't answer the door," said Ganke.

"How'd you get in, anyway?"

"Your dad gave me a key and asked me to check in on you," said Ganke. "How are you doing?"

"Just tired, man. I'm practically all healed at this point," he said, letting himself collapse back against the couch cushions.

"Yeah, that tube around your face tells a different story," said Ganke.

"What, this? Oxygen clears the head, you know? People pay good money to sit down at an oxygen bar these days. I'm lucky I got an in at the hospital."

Ganke snorted. "Whatever, man. However you wanna spin it."

"Hey, what's that crinkling in your bag, there?" asked Miles.

"Chips."

Miles held his arms out piteously. "Feed me!"

Ganke scoffed. "Don't you have a weak stomach? I don't think you should be eating artificial cheese powder."

"Hey, I've been snacking just fine," said Miles.

Ganke rolled his eyes but tossed Miles a snack-sized bag of Doritos before going to raid the kitchen. Miles happily opened the bag and tossed a couple of neon orange chips into his mouth. Except he grimaced the moment the sharp taste of the cheese powder hit his tongue, and a shiver of disgust seemed to run from there, down to his gut, and back again.

"Bleaugh."

"Did you just spit the chips back into the chip bag?" asked Ganke.

"No…maybe. Can you get me some water, please?"

Ganke shook his head, but he was an awesome friend and brought Miles a glass of water to rinse his mouth with, along with a tin of chocolate drizzled popcorn he'd found in the pantry.

"Toss me a kernel?" asked Miles.

"Your parents are so going to fire me," said Ganke, tossing a piece of popcorn into Miles's mouth.

"Yes!" said Miles, happily. "Sweets are a go, I repeat, sweets are a go."

"I think you already proved that with however many graham crackers covered in peanut butter you've already had."

"Hey, do not judge me. You cannot judge me. I've seen the unholy concoctions you've made in that rice cooker of yours."

"Uh, skittles rice is awesome, thank you very much."

"You wrapped it in seaweed!"

"It was good!"

"So you say," said Miles.

"Okay, first of all, you're being awfully judgey, Mr. You-Cannot-Judge-Me," said Ganke.

"And you can't," said Miles.

"Second of all, literally no one cares if you put peanut butter on a graham cracker," said Ganke.

"And they shouldn't."

"The reason I'm judging you-."

"Nope!"

"Is 'cause you're laying on your back, in your sweatpants, mainlining this stuff like someone broke your heart, and this is your comfort food."

"I mean, my heart was like, literally broken," said Miles.

"Really?"

"I don't know, probably?"

"Anyway, like, at least use a plate. And spice it up, a little."

"I swear to god, if you tell me to put skittles on my peanut butter…"

"I don't put skittles on everything! And, obviously, you put chocolate on it."

"Oh, that's a good idea," said Miles. "Popcorn me?" he requested, opening his mouth.

Ganke tossed another kernel his way, hitting his nose this time.

"Five-second rule," Miles declared.

"You know, the couch cushion's where people put their butts, right?"

"Ew," said Miles. "You had to make it gross?"

"What? It's true! It was already gross."

"Still tastes good," said Miles. "Popcorn me!"

An hour later, Miles and Ganke were too busy chatting and goofing off to notice his mom come inside.

"Miles, what have you been eating?"

"Uhhh, hey Mami," Miles greeted. "This is totally all Ganke's food."

Ganke gestured urgently at the side of his mouth, leading Miles to swipe away a smear of chocolate from his own.

His mother growled. «You're home for a few hours, and already you're eating junk food,» she said, marching up to him.

Miles gave her his best disarming grin.

She reached down and picked up his arm, examining the PICC line.

"I didn't even think about touching it," said Miles.

"Good," she said. "How's your stomach feeling?"

"Fine," said Miles. "We figured out, sweets good, Doritos bad."

"I could have told you 'Doritos bad,'" she said.

"Yeah, yeah," said Miles. His mom had never been a fan of overly processed foods. "I don't suppose we can take care of the plastic tube that's still reaching into my poor heart?"

"That tube helped keep your poor heart beating, young man."

"Sí, mami, but I still hate it," said Miles.

"Alright," said his mom. "The sooner the better, anyway. Ganke, could you help me clear off the coffee table?"

Thus began a lot of cleaning and sanitizing, and way too much pomp and circumstance just to yank a tube out of him. But eventually, his mom had a clean surface, clean and gloved hands, and some sterile bandages.

"Ganke, are you squeamish?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm totally squeamish," said Ganke.

"Okay, you might want to look away, then."

Miles winced as all of the transparent film dressing was peeled back from his arm. The PICC line was really sealed in tight. He was ready for his mom to just start yanking, but of course, she had to open up a thing of ChloroPrep and go to town on the area around the tube. Then, finally, he watched in morbid fascination as his mom pulled the thing out of him. He'd expected to see blood. Honestly, he'd expected the whole line to be dripping with blood as it came out. The video he'd watched had shown the procedure done on a surgical dummy, and that had come out clean, but honestly, this wasn't so different. And, as he watched inch after inch of plastic tube come down from his chest and through his arm, he thought he should feel something more profound or disturbing than just the faint tugging sensation.

For as simple as he had thought it would be, for as overblown he had thought the whole procedure was, it was strangely anti-climactic.

"There we go," said his mom, placing the length of tubing down on a plastic sheet she'd put down on the coffee table with one hand, as the other held a wad of gauze to his arm. "Hold that for me?"

Miles reached over and held the piece of gauze down, as his mom started counting blue bands on the tube she'd just removed, making sure that she hadn't somehow left a piece of it behind.

"So what's the verdict? Do I have an inch of plastic swimming in my right ventricle?"

"No," she said, "all accounted for. Let's get this wound dressed, and we'll be just about all done."

"Honestly, mom, I think a bandaid would do it."

Of course, his mom didn't agree, and he wound up wrapped up and taped up, with firm instructions not to take it off before she said he could.

"So what are we doing to celebrate?" asked Ganke, turning back from his phone now that nothing unsettling was happening to Miles's body. "Dude, that whole thing was inside you?"

Miles grimaced at the first question (as much as he'd wanted it out of him, the PICC line hadn't even ranked on the list of uncomfortable things about his hospital stay). He just wasn't so sure his parents were in the mood to celebrate, with however much trouble he was in.

"Oh, and how do you celebrate a return from the hospital, Ganke," asked his mom.

"I mean, we haven't had any of your cookies since Valentines' Day," said Ganke.

"Oh, you're after my cookies now? You haven't had enough sugar?"

"Hey, we're growing boys," Ganke complained, "and this guy here could eat a horse."

"Who's eating a horse?" asked his dad, walking in.

"Me, apparently," said Miles.

"But he'll settle for some cookies, apparently," said his mom.

"Oh, he'll settle for some cookies," said his dad.

"It's either cookies or a horse, Mr. Jefferson," said Ganke. "The PDNY stables are our only hookup for a horse, so it's your call, sir."

"That is a false dilemma," said his dad. "You forgot, we can feed Miles spinach and kale smoothies."

Miles gagged at the thought.

"I've been through your kitchen, sir. You've got chocolate chips. You don't have any kale."

"Alright, compromise, spinach and chocolate chip cookies."

"Mom, save us, please," said Miles.

"Well, we've got three racks in the oven," she said. "That's one batch of chocolate chip cookies for Ganke, one batch of mantecaditos for me, and one batch of spinach cookies for my boys."

"You know, honey, I think just this once, we could indulge in white chocolate macadamia."

"Good choice," she said.

Which was how Miles found himself in the kitchen with his parents and Ganke making two batches of cookie dough that would become three trays of cookies. It wasn't exactly how he was expecting his day to go, and while he couldn't complain about it, he also couldn't help but wish that the other shoe would finally drop.

He kind of wanted to hash it all out right then and there, just ask Ganke to give him and his parents some space, and get into it.

He also wanted cookies, and he liked not being in trouble, so he held his tongue.

"So what have things really been like, since I've been gone?" he asked as he leaned against the counter and cracked eggs into a bowl

"Crazy, dude," said Ganke. "You're like super popular right now. Did you see the fence in front of Bellevue?"

"No?"

"People left so many presents for you, dude. Too bad you can't collect. I mean, also a lot of cards and flowers from people who thought you were dying. But literally, I saw on the news, someone left a PlayStation."

"Bruh," said Miles. Why would someone leave a Playstation on the street in front of the hospital?

"Actually," said his mom, sifting flour, "the hospital's been collecting everything that's non-perishable. Or a candle. You have a week to collect it before they donate it to the Goodwill."

"But since Spider-Man's not swinging anywhere anytime soon, I think you're making a donation, Miles," said his dad, pulling the sugar down from a high shelf.

"Huh," said Miles

"Aw," said Ganke, throwing some chocolate chips in his mouth.

"What do you mean 'aw,'" asked Miles. "We already have your PlayStation at the dorm."

"Yeah, but the one at the hospital came with the new Star Wars game. But dude, you totally need to figure out how Parker collected on royalties, because your merch is selling like crazy."

Miles didn't think he could sign any contracts without his parents, so that was a conversation that couldn't be had until after they'd sorted everything.

"Has everything been okay since everything happened?" asked Miles.

"Things mostly went back to normal after a few days," said Ganke.

"You don't need to worry so much about it," said his dad.

"Did they figure out those missing persons cases?" asked Miles.

"Most of them," said his dad. "Some of the people who got out of the city just didn't return for a while. Some of them were reported missing by their neighbors or employers who hadn't heard from them. They're turning up."

"Only most of them, though?" asked Miles.

"We'll see, Miles."

Chaos breeds crimes of opportunity. Aunt May had told him that during one of their teatime chats. He hoped that there weren't people in the city who'd taken the evacuation as an opportunity to snatch people. Miles still couldn't stand it that people had been hurt because he'd waited so long to get out of school that day. He could have preempted the evacuation, and it would be terrible if people had actually been taken in that chaos.

"What about, um, what have they been saying about everything on the news…oh, hey, should we be watching the news, to see what people are saying about my disappearance?"

"Oh, leave the news off," said his mom. "We're baking cookies, you'll ruin the mood."

"Ruin the mood? I'm pretty sure they'll taste the same. Why, do you think they're saying bad things about me?"

"No, but they'll take it as a good opportunity to rehash everything that's gone on so far," said his dad. "I don't know about you, but we all just got home, and I don't feel the need to relive all of that right now."

Miles immediately felt guilty. He'd been so focused on wishing his parents would get his consequences out of the way, he kept forgetting how much crap his parents had been through for all of this.

"Changing the subject," said Ganke, sounding mischievous as he dug a big scoop of chocolate chips out of the bag, this time to actually put in his dough, "I still can't believe everyone's seen you naked. That's so embarrassing for you."

"What are you talking about?" asked Miles, shifting a little uncomfortably. "I wouldn't call like, a dozen people, everyone," said Miles, though a dozen people was still embarrassing enough.

"Yeah, in person," said Ganke.

"I guess we haven't mentioned," said his dad, "helicopter footage of you being decontaminated was leaked online."

"What?! I'm naked on the internet?"

"And on TV," said Ganke.

"I'M NAKED ON TV?!"

"Relax, mijo," said his mom, "no one can tell that pequito pajaro is yours. And they blur it on TV."

"Mom!" said Miles, not at all appreciating his mom had basically just called his dick small in front of Ganke.

"Yeah," said Ganke, grinning, "your face was still jacked up, so even knowing it was you, I could barely tell. But dude, some stations didn't even blur your butt!"

Ganke apparently thought this was the funniest thing in the world.

"This is literally the worst thing that's ever happened to me," he said, trying for levity, but not quite feeling it.

With that, his parents shared an aggrieved look between them.

"Too soon to make jokes about the worst thing that's ever happened to me?"

«Yes, it's too soon to make jokes!»

"Sorry, I'm just kind of distressed about the fact that people can download a naked video of me. Is the online version even censored at all?"

"Nah," said Ganke. "I still can't believe it."

"And they're not censoring my butt on TV?"

"On some networks they didn't, the first time it aired," said his dad, "which was not appropriate."

"Oh, but he has such cute nalgas."

"Mom!"

"Yeah, but their our cute little nalgas," said his dad, reaching over and smacking Miles on his rear.

"Dad!" shouted Miles. "Look at this Ganke, look at the disrespect I have to deal with in my own house." He kind of meant it, really. He didn't understand why they were taking this so lightly. Was he blowing it out of proportion? Almost no one knew it was him.

Ganke just started cackling at Miles's dramatics.

His dad reached over and wrapped an arm around Miles's shoulders, squeezing him close. It was only as he did so, though, that Miles realized how tense his dad was. Looking over at his mom, he saw her pressing her lips together.

They were only pretending, he realized. They were bothered by it. They were upset someone had leaked the video of him naked. They were upset television stations didn't blur his butt. They were pretending to take it lightly because they hoped he'd take their lead and not be upset about it. It was an old trick of theirs, going back to the days of skinned knees and fallen ice cream cones. But he didn't know how to take it lightly. Understanding that his parents were upset just made it all the harder to try to feel copacetic about the whole thing.

"Alright," he announced, "bathroom break."

"I'm gonna eat all the leftover cookie dough if you take too long," said Ganke.

"I'm not going to be that long!" said Miles. They were only just finishing the doughs. They still had to scoop it out across three cookie sheets.

As Miles closed himself off in the bathroom he thought about the fact that Ganke had definitely watched the video himself. Probably one where his butt was showing. Maybe even one where he wasn't censored at all.

He shouldn't be upset about that. They shared a dorm and a shower room. It wasn't like they'd never seen each other undressed. It shouldn't bother him, but it did. That video wasn't the same thing, though. Right? It felt completely different. And Miles could almost convince himself that he was being stupid about the whole thing, but his parents were upset too. His mom had taught him to laugh along with life's curveballs, but she was only pretending to laugh. His dad had set the tone for Miles's concept of modesty by taking Miles to the pool with him, growing up, and using the locker room. But his dad hated the fact that the video had been released. It wasn't stupid, it was a crossed line.

And why would anyone release it in the first place? It was police footage, but there wasn't anything newsworthy about it. It didn't show him disarming the bomb. It didn't show a criminal being apprehended. It just showed Miles naked and dying.

Ganke thought it was funny, though. And wasn't it also funny? Last month, when Quinn had streaked through the dorm one evening, Miles had laughed. He'd laughed again when a red-faced Quinn had been dragged back to his room by their aggrieved night-watch. And Quinn had barely gotten in trouble for it, so it's not like it was a big deal. So it was funny.

Except Miles hadn't lost a bet and gone streaking. It was different.

Miles resolved not to think about it. He focused on his breathing. There was still a phantom ache in his chest when he breathed too hard, and it was hurting now. Slow it down, in and out. Hold for a second in-between. Hold for two. Hold for three. See, you're not even crying, he told himself. Nothing terrible has happened.

He flushed the toilet and washed his hands to keep up the pretense and put a smile on his face when he left the bathroom.

"Oh, good, you're still scooping," he said. "Let me get in there."

His mom gave him a kiss on the forehead as he came into the kitchen.

Miles started flagging around the time the cookies went into the oven. It had been a long day, and he still very much had issues with his stamina. Ganke didn't stay too much longer once his mom saw how tired Miles was getting. She bundled him up on the couch for a nap, before sending Ganke back to Visions with a Tupperware container full of cookies. But for however tired he was, Miles had too much restless energy in him to sleep, so he pulled his laptop out to look some things up.

Youtube was a bit of a bust. The footage was there, but it all had the watermarks of different news stations. He tried searching again with the word 'uncensored' but that just brought results from Fox News and CNN to the top. Those were probably versions where his butt was showing. But Miles wasn't looking to see the middle-ground bad. He wanted to see the worst version of what had been released, so he could make up his mind how he felt about it.

He'd never been on 4chan before, only knowing it by reputation as being the black hole of the internet. He figured it was a good place to look for uncensored footage, and it turned out he was right, as he found what he was looking for in just a few seconds.

He hit play.

At first, he was too taken aback by literally everything else to be bothered about the original source of his discomfort. There was so much blood, all over his body, but especially around his puffy, bruised, and blistered face and his leg, no matter that he was being sprayed down with water, there was more blood to replace it. His eyes were blood red, like something out of a horror movie. He watched himself stagger to his knees. He watched himself collapse. He watched people with scrub brushes on sticks surround him from a distance. Miles was pretty sure he was completely unconscious when they flipped him over, and then when they pulled him out of the pit.

He almost closed his computer in the middle of it, wanting nothing to do with this footage. It was awful.

It was awful, it was awful, it was awful. He looked like death. He looked like he was dead. He looked like the life had bled out of him right then and there, and nothing was left but a corpse and a ghost that had forgotten to move on.

But he made himself keep watching instead, and when the video was over, he watched it again, this time focusing on his original concern with the footage. He watched as the Miles on the screen squirmed in the pit, under the spray of water, revealing the entirety of his side. How his whole backside could be seen when he rolled onto his stomach to push himself up on his knees. And then he collapsed on his back, and just everything was there. There were his blistered and bruised bits for everyone to see. And he thought that was the worst of it, but then it showed the part where he was unconscious and rolled over so they could scrub his back. Miles was taken aback by how intimate and invasive he felt the view was as his legs spread apart during the scrubbing. How many people had seen this?

And then when he was laid out on the ground out of the ditch, and the lighting was better, it felt like it was starting all over again, this horrible feeling of being seen. All the while he'd been in the hospital being poked and prodded all over his body, Miles hadn't felt as exposed and violated as he did in that moment. Even when Felix had been pulling the catheter from out of him, he hadn't felt this uncomfortable and powerless.

"Are you okay, Miles?" asked his dad.

"I…"

His dad came around the couch to see what he was looking at. Miles didn't bother trying to hide it.

His dad put a hand on his head, and then took a seat on the coffee table beside him.

"It really did upset your mother and me when we saw they'd released that footage," said his dad. "I know we were making light of it earlier, but…I guess we were hoping that it wouldn't bother you as much if we did."

For a few moments, it had. He just couldn't get his brain to wrap around the situation like that, though.

"It's just a little embarrassing," said Miles, his voice thick.

"It is what it is," said his dad. "And you're allowed to feel however you feel about it."

"I don't wanna…" Miles sniffled. "It's just…it's just a dick and a butt. It's whatever." It wasn't just a dick and a butt, it was everything about the video, it was the look of death, and it was a rearview of his bits that felt so much more exposing than all the rest, but it was easier to boil it down to something that could feel almost trivial.

"Come here," said his dad, opening his arms, and shifting himself to sit on the edge of the couch.

Miles went willingly into the hug, even as he tried to hold back another sniffle. A few days ago, he'd have given anything to be able to cry properly, but he didn't want to cry over this. It was stupid.

"I know hardly anyone knows it's me, but I still don't want anyone to see me like that," he admitted.

"I know," said his dad.

"Why'd they leak it? There's no reason for anyone to see that. That's not news!"

His dad sighed. "It was Saughy," he said. "Smart thing would have been for him to keep his head low, but I guess all he had left in him was spite."

That was all it took for Miles's face to screw up as he started to cry.

"He already hurt me so much," said Miles. "Why'd he have to…I thought it was over when I defused the bomb, that the ARS was just it, but they keep coming back at me."

"He's an evil bastard," said his dad. "A racist evil bastard, who has nothing but hate in his heart. But Miles, I want you to know, as much as you never wanted anyone to see this, it hasn't changed that people still think of you as a hero. The people who've seen this video, they know how much you sacrificed to keep this city safe. And sure, that's not the only thing they think about when they see it; so many people have been heartbroken, seeing a child like this. A lot of them are angry about it. But I don't know how anyone could watch this video and think less of you."

Miles appreciated hearing that, even if he didn't quite think it was true. "But still," he said. He felt so incredibly vulnerable for having this out there.

"Yeah," said his dad. "But still. Hey, I'll have a talk with Ganke. Let him know we're not going to be joking about this, okay?"

Miles shook his head. "No, I think…I think I'd rather laugh about it, than anything else. I just can't laugh about it right now."

"That's okay, Miles," said his dad.

There was chicken soup for dinner that night. His mom had made it without the usual spices, because his stomach still wasn't up for a lot, but it was still good to have something home-cooked and hearty. It did a lot to improve Miles's mood, but the video continued to be on his mind through the evening, even as they talked at the dinner table about school and what the 'back-to-school' plan might look like. Even as they watched a couple of back-episodes of Ninja Warrior later together on the couch (Miles could now boast openly about how handily he could complete the entire course).

It was still on his mind as his parents sent him to get ready for bed. So, when he was settled in his room later, he pulled out his laptop and ran another search on the video. Not to watch it again, or to see if there were any different versions of it he should be concerned about. He wanted to know what people were saying about it. He knew his dad didn't think anyone thought any less of him for it, but he couldn't quite imagine that was the case.

One of the first hits that came up on google was from a YouTuber Miles watched on occasion, ThomasRay. Miles decided he should at least start with someone he actually liked, so he clicked on the video, making sure his headphones were connected first.

"What's up, my awesome listeners? Hope you're having a fantastic Friday. Welcome back to the ThomasRay Show, get ready to like and subscribe if you're new here, and let's just get right to today's news.

"And the first thing we're going to talk about today, as you can expect, we have new developments and controversy surrounding the situation with the terror attack in New York and Spider-Man. First, it has finally been confirmed that the officer that was arrested two days ago, Lieutenant James Saughy, was arrested on charges of aiding and abetting the attack. According to a released statement, he is alleged to have been in direct contact with the terror cell that affected the attack, provided them with information about the FBI investigation to help them evade capture, helped them to time the attack to when it would be most effective, and collaborated with Officer Trip Laughlin. Officer Laughlin, of course, is the officer we covered yesterday who was caught and seriously injured while apparently trying to murder Spider-Man in his hospital room, and who has also been charged with sabotaging PDNY equipment, with the intent of preventing the bomb squad from arriving at the scene in time, now confirmed to have been one of the bomb squad helicopters."

The video cut, showing ThomasRay in a different outfit. "Hey guys, it's me from the future with a quick update, a new charge for Officer Saughey has just been released related to the leaking of video footage, the subject of which will be discussed later in this video."

The video cut back. "Of course, these charges are deeply disturbing, that members of the PDNY would aid and abet a terror plot that aimed at rendering New York uninhabitable. The question remains, are there any other coconspirators in the PDNY?

"These newly released charges, which many people were expecting, given the timing of the arrest, and Lieutenant Saughy's position on the Law Enforcement Coordination Program, are expected to have a major impact on the PDNY. The department was originally criticized for being unable to mobilize their bomb squad and their hazmat teams in a timely manner, and now it's being alleged that that failure was due to malice, instead of negligence. A lot of people are calling for significant oversight and change to how the PDNY screens, hires, and trains its employees. That's not a new movement, of course, but it has been revitalized by this development. Issues related to racism and conduct have dogged the organization throughout its history.

"Now, that's the story on the arrest so far, and I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. Do these allegations point to the work of a couple of bad actors, or is there a need for greater change in the New York Police Department? Are you concerned that this is evidence of infiltration by far right terrorist groups into our nation's law enforcement? Let me know in the comments below.

"Moving on, there has been a lot of controversy regarding a video that was leaked a couple of days ago from the PDNY. I won't be linking to any version of that footage in this video, for reasons that will become obvious as we discuss the matter. The footage itself was taken from one of the police helicopters at the scene of the events at the Central Park Tower, concerning the aftermath of the bomb's defusal. Many of you will have already been aware of footage taken by a news helicopter of Spider-Man exiting the tower, unmasked, and in very clear medical distress. It was this footage also, that made it very clear just how young this new Spider-Man is. Though we still don't know his exact age, he's been placed at between the ages of twelve and fourteen. Meanwhile, this new leaked footage continues from shortly after that, as Spider-Man was decontaminated of the radioactive substance, the very dangerous cesium-137, he had been exposed to.

"The footage is particularly controversial because Spider-Man was nude as a part of the decontamination process, and the footage was released uncensored. News stations that aired the footage did censor the footage, generally with a blurring effect, and while stations such as MSNBC and ABC took time to fully censor the footage, stations such as Fox News and CNN did not, seeming to rush the footage to air as soon as they received it, if the broadcasts they interrupted to air it are any indication. Both stations were noted to have left footage of his backside uncensored when the footage first went to air, though they have more fully censored it during subsequent airings.

"Now, I think it's pretty obvious that really, the footage should not have aired incompletely censored. I'm not going to speculate on why it wasn't, in some cases, other than to say that, it's kind of obvious why. As for why the footage was released uncensored online in the first place, one expert has noted that while censored footage would have been kept on the PDNY electronic evidence server, it would have logged anyone who had accessed it. The original unedited media would have not been accessible to very many people in the PDNY, but could have been accessed without a digital log.

"Now, as you can expect, there's been a lot of controversy around the footage. You do have people saying, oh, this is child pornography, it's child exploitation, the people who aired this are pedophiles, websites that host the video are run by pedophiles, if you've watched it, you're a pedophile."

Miles closed his laptop in a hurry, rolled over onto his stomach, and pulled his pillow over his head, clamping it down on either side of his head. He felt like too many thoughts were spinning around in his head.

'Child pornography' and 'pedophiles' weren't even words that had been remotely on his radar around this whole thing, and now they felt like they were coming at him from every angle. If there were any words that he didn't want to be associated with himself, or with Spider-Man, those were definitely up there. This whole thing just kept getting worse and worse.

Miles considered that he should just put his laptop away and go to bed. Wash his hands of the whole topic, and just not think about it. But after having his little freakout, he rolled back over, opened his laptop back up, and unpaused the video.

"Obviously, there's debate to be had about this footage being out there at all. Legally speaking it's not child pornography, because there's no sexual content, and the purpose of taking the footage clearly was not titillation." Miles found himself feeling immensely relieved at the pronouncement, and wished he'd watched for five more seconds in the first place. "It remains wildly inappropriate though that it was released in this uncensored format, however. I don't think that there's any debatable position on that. Speaking as a father, if it was my child in a situation like that, I would be beyond enraged if someone shared footage like that. Especially because, you know, there are doubtless people who've watched it for prurient interests." Miles frowned at his monitor. He couldn't quite credit ThomasRay's assumption that perverts were watching the video; he couldn't imagine anyone seeing anything titillating in the horrifying footage.

"We can only speculate as to why the footage was leaked online in the first place, and while I think it's reasonably safe to say the interest wasn't prurient, it does show a certain callousness towards the action in the first place."

The footage cut again. "Future me, again. This is the video footage that James Saughy is alleged to have leaked. And while we can still only speculate as to why he leaked it, I'd have to say, assuming the allegations are true, the only thing I can think of is: malice, retaliation for Spider-Man having defused the bomb. Which does add a whole new dimension to the debate on the footage being publicly available, with that implication that the purpose of the leak appears to essentially be revenge porn. Which, I know past me just got done saying it's not pornography, but purely in terms of motive, yeah, I can't really see it in any context at this point other than as revenge porn of a child."

Miles groaned in discomfort.

The video cut back. "Moving on from that argument, there were two more nuanced positions that I wanted to discuss, more specifically regarding the broadcast of the footage on television. These arguments boil down to, either yes, the footage is worthwhile and should be aired for journalistic purposes, and no, even censored, this is a violation of a child's privacy. On that first side, you have people saying that this footage has clear journalistic merit. That is to say, that it is informative and that it is evocative, and thus it should be shared. And, if you watch the footage, as I have, you can see that yes, this footage is informative. It shows us the horrible effects that this terrorist attack has had on the hero who stopped it. It shows us again, that he is a child, and a child who is suffering, and at that time, dying. It is a stark portrayal of what this act of terror has wrought, and what could have happened to countless New Yorkers had the bomb detonated.

"And, even more so than it being informative, it is evocative. I don't think you can watch the footage and not feel horror, helplessness, concern. I watch that video and I feel enraged at the perpetrators of the attack, and frustrated that it is a child paying the price. And it really pushes to the forefront of all of our minds, I think, what are we as a society going to do about the fact that Spider-Man is a child?"

Miles's relief had been way too short-lived. He didn't want people feeling horror about him being Spider-Man. He didn't want them hung up about his age. He didn't want his suffering to be up for public consumption.

"So from that standpoint, I can say that, yeah. The footage has journalistic merit. It accomplishes something by being seen. But to balance that out, you have people saying, that, well, it doesn't matter if it has journalistic merit, it's still a sharp violation of this child's right to privacy. That Spider-Man didn't decide to strip out in the open downtown as a juvenile prank, he was in the midst of a desperate lifesaving procedure. That while law enforcement had cause to point their camera at what was happening there, we as a nation don't need to intrude upon that moment of vulnerability that he never consented to. News outlets that received the footage could have viewed it privately, and described it to their viewers to inform them about it.

"And, as someone engaged in journalism, I can absolutely understand this side of the argument. This program does not name children associated with crimes, we don't show their faces. To be certain, I'm not linking to the footage we're discussing, though, on the flip side, I've never covered a story about a child that is so singularly remarkable as this one, so I suppose I can kind of see it both ways.

"Before I round this out, and ask you for your thoughts on the matter, I did think I'd welcome another voice to give their input. The whole while I was working on this segment, I was being reminded of the Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph from the Vietnam War, colloquially named 'Napalm Girl.' Photographer Nick Ut caught footage of women and children fleeing from a village that was accidentally bombed with napalm, and then ten-year-old girl Kim Phuc was severely burned, to the point of having her clothing burned off of her body, and it was the photograph of her fleeing naked and injured down the street that became one of the defining moments of the war and the protests against it. Obviously, no one can speak for Spider-Man on the question of this footage, but Kim has actually spoken about this moment herself. This footage is from the New York Historical Society's documentary series: The Vietnam War 1945-1975. In spite of what I just said about not showing child victims on this channel, in this context, I will be showing the accompanying video. I do caution you though, that the video is graphic, as described."

The video cut, not to the picture that Miles himself was already familiar with, but rather to that same child in what looked to be a hospital setting, her hair thin and short after the fire, the burns all across her back and arms clearly evident.

"After I went home from the hospital, the first time I look at that picture, I say, 'Oh my goodness.'" The video then did transition to the famous photo, and even more than the last, it made Miles's gut clench. "'Why he took that picture?' I'm naked. In agony." Yes, thought Miles, exactly. "And it looked ugly. But later on, I have to accept that that picture…it's really powerful." Another picture, this one maybe a few seconds after the other, closer up, with the burned peeling skin on Kim's arm in clear view. "I became a victim of war. And, you know, millions of children who suffer, their picture wasn't taken. Now, I have accepted it and I'm thankful that my picture worked for good."

Miles supposed he could see where she was coming from, but did that really apply to him? He didn't want his ugly naked agony to be the face of the evils of white nationalism, even if it was powerful. That wasn't the symbol that Spider-Man was supposed to be. It was his strength that people were supposed to see, his strength that let people know they were going to be okay. He wasn't supposed to be a victim. A victim twice over: to the bomb, and then to the leak.

"Obviously, while there are clear parallels between the Napalm Girl photo and the decontamination footage of Spider-Man, they aren't one-to-one comparisons, and I don't want anyone to take it as my trying to put Kim Phuc's words into Spider-Man's mouth. This is a situation where I don't know that there is a clear-cut answer, other than: Yeah, news stations, maybe take an extra five minutes to properly blur the footage next time. But all that's to say, I'd love to know your thoughts on the matter. Are you on the side that says the footage is important and necessary, or the side that says it's a violation of privacy? Do you have a completely different thought process on the issue? Let us know in the comments down below.

"Moving on, some things I loved today-"

Miles closed the laptop again and rolled over onto his back to think.

He'd kind of known that it wasn't the best of ideas to go looking at what everyone was saying about the footage but considered he'd probably lucked out to click on the video he had. He still didn't know how he was supposed to feel about the whole thing, though. He wanted to be able to laugh about it, but he didn't know how.

…

Miles opened his laptop again, and typed: Spider-Man decontamination meme.

The first thing that popped up was a Reddit thread titled: that one kid at camp that refused to shower. He clicked on it, revealing a gif of himself, on the ground, surrounded by hazmat suited emergency workers scrubbing him with brushes.

Miles snorted a laugh. Okay, that was funny.

!

A/N: Warning-This chapter deals with Miles finding out about the release of the footage of his decontamination, and his strong feelings of being violated and exposed.

Sorry for the long wait for a shorter chapter. Things have been wild IRL (mostly in a good way), and I only just got back to writing.

The YouTuber I used in this chapter is based on a real content creator I watch sometimes, but I decided against putting words in their mouth like I had in the first chapter for a few actual TV personalities, so I gave them a different name.

The Vietnam documentary I referenced is real, and you can go watch it. The section about the Napalm Girl photo was pretty interesting. Quick disclaimer, the Kim Phuc quote I used is actually two of her quotes smashed together just to make it more concise.

Shout out to my beta The_Lord_of_Chaos.