Thank you guys so much for the great response on the last chapter. Thank you to:
The Crowned Prince
Jana
Lillian81
DarylDixon'sLover
SlyChoice
MiaMia
MiaRose 156
Perseus Apollyon
MayaFaya
Go check out these lovely people! Your reviews kept me going and helped me pop out this chapter quickly. Thank you as well to the new follows and favorites and I hope you guys enjoy this adventure, as I'm loving writing it. Imma be honest - this whole chapter has a lot of a) fluff, b) sexual tension and c) lore of Westeros because honestly, I wanted to make a chapter that was quite literally just Jon and Dany, so this is going to be fun. I hope you guys enjoy it!
Daenerys
Daenerys couldn't remember the last time she had freely rode on Drogon.
Years, most likely. The last time she had been on him was when she had taken her child home to be cared for after the battle in Vaas Kasheen, but walking to the dragon pit to actually just ride him? That hadn't happened in a long time.
She was starting to feel for how she treated her dragons. It wasn't like she locked them away like she had done when she first ruled Meereen – they were in plenty of open space away from the city, and were allowed to go where they pleased, but she didn't seem them as often. Her whole mind had been focused on her twins, on Jon, on somehow surviving what was coming for them.
She knew that over time, maybe once everything began to calm down and she wasn't consistently being watched from the outside, she would allow herself to fly around with Drogon. To truly be herself again. But for now, he seemed quite content with just laying around before being summoned to fly.
And as she flew through the sky, trying to think of all the places Jon could have gone, she had a feeling Drogon was going to become tired soon. He had been flying now for most likely the whole day – she could see the sun beginning to fall, and she had been all around to try and find clues as to where Jonarys could have taken him.
She still couldn't believe that the dragon had sensed him. There was absolutely no way in all of the history of dragon lore and the world around them that Jon could have easily lifted himself up and ran to the pit as fast as she could. He was still healing – this was a bad decision for him to be going off like this. A very bad decision.
So Jonarys had known he needed help – so he had come. On a normal day, she would be proud of her dragon – well, she supposed it was Jon's now considering they had bonded in a way – but at the same time, this was the absolute worst time for something like this to happen.
The worst part was that as she was flying, Daenerys still had no idea how she was going to even talk with Jon. She wanted to scream and yell at him for suddenly taking off, but she also knew that he wasn't going to be in the right state of mind when she found him – at this point, it was more of an 'if.'
She sighs as Drogon begins to slow down, stopping at what looked like a lush rainforest. It seemed to go on for days. Her brow furrows as she looks around, her dragon beginning to slow. This…was not where she would imagine Drogon would take her.
"Where are we?" she asks the dragon, but he only lowers his head, obviously needing to rest. She sighs as she steps back. She didn't blame him. He had been flying for hours now.
They had first started back in Meereen by her commanding to follow Jonarys' scent. It wasn't hard to find another dragon when the one she was riding lived with it. The first place the scent had taken her? Yunkai.
As soon as she recognized the pyramids and the gates, she almost felt herself start to shake. Daenerys wasn't an idiot. She knew Jon had a good reason for coming to Yunkai. The moment she had mentioned to him that the sellswords came from there, she had seen the look on his face.
Jon was an honorable man. She knew that for a fact. But at the same time, she also knew that he had some deep-seated anger for what Daario had done – which was rightfully so. But never in her wildest dreams or nightmares did she ever think Jon would ride directly to the city itself to face the sellswords. And a part of her genuinely thought he had burned them down or striked them with his sword. She knew Daario had turned – but not all of them had.
But that hadn't been what happened. Not at all. As soon as she touched down onto the ground in Yunkai, she had been met by one of the masters here that still stayed in their homes, except it hadn't been anything very pleasant.
"Ah," he had said, walking over to her once her dragon had landed on the outskirts of his home. "Another dragon rider who is visiting us today. Tell me – are you planning to burn us down anytime soon or was that first visit just for fun?"
Daenerys let out a deep sigh and looked at him with the utmost seriousness. "I know someone was here today. What did he do? Did he harm anyone?"
"Besides scaring our people here? No. The dragon was a surprise – we had no idea that the dragon queen possessed other beasts now, but the man who had ridden them actually only came to speak."
Daenerys' brow had furrowed. "Speak? Speak of what?"
"About the proclamation that we sent to Meereen a little while ago," he had said snidely, crossing his arms across his chest. "Apparently, we as a city did not know that the conqueror Targaryen had married herself off already – seems like something you would share with the people you rule over."
Daenerys raised her hands, stopping him in his tracks. "Wait, what did you say?"
"That you were married already – at least that's what the man said. I thought there weren't any other dragon riders?"
"He's a Targaryen – I'm sorry," Daenerys instantly stated, running a hand through her hair. "I just…did not expect for him to say that."
The man stared at her, his eyes suspicious. "Was he wrong?"
"No," Daenerys responded. "No, he wasn't…it's quite new. I didn't mean to disturb. I'm sorry. We'll be sending word soon." Before the man could even respond, she was back on Drogon and soaring off into the sky, quicker than he could even open his mouth.
After that, Drogon had gone to the next city Jonarys' scent had gone to, and it was Astapor. When she touched down again, with another master, he said the same thing – that Jon had shown up, told them that she had gotten married to someone else, and left. It was as if he hadn't even been there.
And as she had flown to where Drogon took her next, she found a mixture of confusion and anger inside her head. She wanted to be pissed at him for literally riding off into some other city and telling people that she was fucking married to someone else. She knew that marriage was a strong political alliance and even if it wasn't what she wanted to do, she knew that eventually, she would have to. And now he went and spread a bloody lie about it.
And what if it spread to other areas? For people that she could actually form a real alliance with?
But at the same time, her confusion was even more prevalent in her mind. Why would he do that, of all things? She knew Jon wasn't keen on her getting married – that much she had known from their discussion the day prior. But the fact that he had gone off just to tell people that didn't make any sense. She didn't know that he would care that much.
'Of course, you did,' her mind says back to her. 'Come on, Dany. You're not dumb. You know Jon would very well do that to protect you.'
Alright, maybe it was true. But at the same time, he still went and flew on a bloody dragon to tell the people himself. He could have just written a bloody letter.
So now, she stood there, staring up at thousands of trees in front of her in the blazing heat. In all of Essos, she didn't think there was a place like this. Most of Essos was dry land. As she thought about it, she did fly over a large body of water, but where could she be that had this much of lush greenery? Not Westeros.
'Gods, please not Westeros,' she whispers internally. She knew Jon was of sound mind, but after finding out what his family did, a small part of her thought maybe he would do exactly what she had done – rain fire. But she had pushed that down. Jon wasn't like that. He couldn't be like that.
But after seeing where she was, she knew it could not be Westeros. These weren't their trees or anywhere close to what they had there. These were tall, and had thousands upon thousands of leaves. The air was so humid that she had to twist her hair into a braid to stop it from blocking her vision.
She turns her head to look at Drogon and feels her shoulders drop. Yup, he was sleeping.
"Alright," she mutters, looking back at the lush forest. The sand beneath her feet crunched as she started to walk towards the trees. "I suppose I'm on my own with this one." She clutches Dark Sister tightly into her hands, looking around the beach.
If it wasn't for the fact that she didn't know where she was, it would be quite peaceful.
As she walks further down the pathway, she starts to see ruined buildings, as well as quite large footprints in the sand. Could they have been from Jonarys? She didn't see any smaller footprints in the sand though that would be Jon's.
Her brow begins to furrow as she looks at the footprints. They were much too small to be dragon prints on second glance. Jonarys was at least twice the size of…whatever this was. She kneels down and examines it, her brow furrowed. What were these things?
As she stood, she suddenly heard a low growl come from behind her. Daenerys slowly turns her head and feels herself take several steps back. A part of her imagined it what it could possibly be. Maybe a larger animal? Some sort of lion?
But what she saw was something she thought had gone extinct years ago.
There, standing in front of her, about the size of her smallest dragon, was a large, angry beast. He had large wings that seemed to spread out for at least thirty feet, and his scales were an ugly green and white. Its beak was long and terrifying – it could easily bite right through her body if she let it.
And it looked hungry.
"It's alright," she whispers, taking several steps back. "I'm not here to harm you…please…"
Within a moment, the monster screeches and flies at her regardless of her stance. She quickly ducks out and runs away back down the sand. She could hear it flying after her. If she didn't reach Drogon soon, she was going to die.
And, as she stared at the trees once more, the screeching of the beast behind her, she realized exactly where she was.
This was a Wyvern – a creature she had heard was like a dragon, except much angrier. And these trees, this beach, that abandoned city – oh, for fuck's sake.
She was in Sothoryos.
"Drogon!" she screams as she finally spots her child ahead on the sand. He lifts his head as she swiftly avoids the claws of the Wyvern, nearly biting down onto her flesh. As Drogo himself got up and screeched at the monster, Daenerys lets out a sigh of relief – but that was soon forgotten as the Wyvern slammed it's leg down onto her side, before flinging her across the sand.
She lands with a hard thud – nothing breaks, but her face gets cut up as her skin breaks under hard rocks. Daenerys curses as she feels blood start to seep down her forehead before she quickly moves her eyes back to where the monster was. The Wyvern was directly over her body, screeching.
As its mouth opens to bite into her skin, she quickly grabs Dark Sister and slams it straight into the Wyvern's leg that was right next to her head. The beast lets out a mighty roar of pain as she pulls it out, quickly standing as quick as she could. Her head was killing her.
She stumbles back a few paces, holding her sword tightly and staring at the beast. It gets over its pain quickly and comes at her again. She swings her sword hard against its head and draws blood, but her weapon was no match for its jaws. It clings down onto her sword on her second hit and sends it flying – as well as her, again – into the bushes. She lands with a hard thud, but this one fucking hurt.
She cries out in pain as she stares down at her arm. It had gone straight into a sharp piece of rock on the ground and had cut open her skin.
Daenerys turns her head and stares up as the Wyvern flew at her. As she went to grab Dark Sister again, however, this time Drogon came from where he had sit and grabbed the Wyvern, throwing him across the sand. Before the Wyvern could even stand, Drogon had plunged his teeth down into the beast, biting it's neck raw, before breathing fire directly onto its skin.
She had heard when she was younger the wyverns were known to be much more vicious – but Drogon was no regular dragon.
The dragon throws the now-dead wyvern into the sea, and Daenerys watches as its corpse flows out into the water. As Drogon strolls his way over to Daenerys, she lets out a soft sigh before forcing herself to stand, holding her injured arm.
"That's my boy," she whispers, scratching the side of his snout. He lets out a puff of air as his sign of affection. Blood started to seep into her eyes and she wipes it away, feeling her head. When she pulls her fingers back, blood covered all five of them. "Good gods," she mutters, shaking her head. "Why in the name of the gods above would Jon come here?"
She didn't even know if Jon knew what this place was either. She had only heard legends from places like Sothoryos – she didn't know if she ever even met anyone from here. For good reason, considering her first encounter with anything on the island tried to kill her.
Daenerys sighs and looks down at her arm. It was bleeding badly. Her eyes glance around the area before she decides to take a part of her shirt and wrap it around her arm, tightly. Blood had already begun to seep through within a moment, but it would have to do for now.
She grabs Dark Sister, letting out a deep sigh. As much training as she had been given, and as great as she was getting, she knew if Drogon was not there, she would have died. No one could take on one of those alone.
Gently, she places the sword back into her holster, before looking up at Drogon. He was wide awake now.
"Can we please find Jon before I get attacked again?" she asks him. To that, he lowers his wings and she shakes her head, climbing on top of him. She knew Sothoryos was full of horrible creatures, at least from legend – and she really did not want to risk coming in contact with another one.
But that thought made her wonder…was Jon okay? Or did he have an encounter with this beast too? There was no way Jonarys would be able to take it down as quickly as Drogon did.
Her heart began to race as she looks down at her child. "Do you sense Jonarys? Please."
Drogon moves his head, looking around for something, anything. And then, he suddenly lifts into the sky, wings flapping, as he takes off, heading towards west of where they were. She holds onto Drogon tightly, hoping, praying, that she didn't find what she thought she would.
If Jon died because of him running off to tell people of a fake marriage, she was going to purposefully bring him back again to yell at him.
It took her a little over a half-hour for Drogon to finally slow down and land in what looked like a large coverage of trees. She hesitantly got off, looking around the forest. She could hear some sort of bugs chirping, but no growls, no hisses – just the sounds of the leaves blowing in the wind.
"Alright," she mumbles. "No wyverns yet." She grabs her sword and moves off of Drogon, clutching her arm a little bit. The bandages at this point needed to be changed. Blood had dried on her cheeks now.
She moves quietly through the leaves, looking around the area, before seeing Drogon take off into the sky, screeching. He was probably off to go sleep again – he had to know that she was safe. Right?
As she pushes away a few layers of vines, her eyes suddenly land on an oasis that leads out into the ocean, waves crashing onto the sand. It was like a small pond that was lit up by the rising moon above her, the sun just setting in the distance. Flowers so delicious invaded her nostrils and she smelt the beautiful fragrances of vanilla and pear. This was stunning.
And what made it even better is that there wasn't a wyvern anywhere to be seen.
Daenerys steps through the vines completely, looking around, before her eyes suddenly land on what looked like a firepit in the distance. She grabs her sword and walks closer, thinking it might be someone who actually lived on this beast-infested island. But as her eyes began to see through the failing light around her, she realized with a start that it was exactly who she was looking for.
There sat Jon, staring out at the sea right next to the pond, the fire bright and keeping his face lit. But as she walked closer, the feeling of relief that she felt at seeing him alive was replaced with anger.
"JON!"
Her voice made him jump nearly a foot in the air. He turns his head and stands instantly, his hand on his sword, before he lowers his limbs and walks to her. His brow was furrowed in shock, staring at her. "Dany?!"
She storms over to him and before he could say anything, she pushes him hard, practically knocking him down onto the ground. "What in the seven hells are you doing here?!"
He instantly grabs her and pulls her down, covering her mouth. She tries to break free but his other hand closes around her arms. She cries out in pain at the sudden pressure on her wound, and he pulls his hand away as if he had stung her. "Fuck, I'm sorry," he whispers, looking at her bandaged wound. She began to bleed again after that. "You just can't be loud here…anything could hear you. What…what happened? Why are you-"
As he turns to look at her, he quiets down. Even though she wanted to be mad at him, angry as she could be, the pain in her arm was hurting badly, and her head was throbbing. And honestly, she was happier more than anything to see him alive. And that had caused tears to gather in her eyes. She really hadn't thought she would see him again.
"Dany," he says softly as her tears start to escape. And suddenly, she breaks down, letting her head hang. His arms wrap around her tightly and she does the same to him, reveling in the feeling.
"You scared the shit out of me," she whispers, her head buried deep into his neck, her arms wrapped tightly around him.
"I know," he responds. His voice vibrated throughout his chest, his Northern drawl coming out. "I'll explain everything – just please stop crying." He pulls away and wipes at her cheeks, trying to stop the tears. "I hate seeing you cry."
"Then you shouldn't have flown halfway across the world!" she snaps, her anger coming back.
He sighs and takes her arm in his hands, undoing the messed up and dirty bandage from before. When he sees the wound, he cringes. "What happened?"
"Wyvern," she answers.
He stares at her in surprise. "You took down a wyvern?"
"No. Drogon did. It would have killed me if he wasn't there…but I tried to harm it." She gestures to her bloody sword. "Happy I got a hit in, but…I never could have killed it."
"Still…many men die instantly with those beasts. It's why Jonarys didn't take me to that area, I'm pretty sure." Jon looks down at the wound before looking back at her. "How did you bandage it?"
She gently moves her cloak, exposing the ripped part of her shirt. Jon shakes his head and moves her gently away.
"Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."
His hands felt so nice.
It wasn't even that they were smooth or anything. They were calloused and dirty and everything else in-between, but after being on her dragon for the whole day, and nearly dying due to some foreign monster that she had never seen before, feeling a human's hands on her face was like a warm welcome.
He had moved her to the shore where the pathway to the ocean was now and had used the water to clean the cut on her forehead and the gash in her arm. It had hurt like no tomorrow, but she knew it was necessary. The saltwater helped clean out the wound – no doubt it would have gotten infected if not.
And as he wiped away at the blood on her cheeks once he finished wrapping up her arm again in a piece of fabric, she felt herself let out a soft sigh. She knew she had to bring it up eventually. Right now, she was just basking in the feeling of having him again.
But she didn't forget how he had just left – with barely a note.
"There," he says after a moment, wiping the last bit of blood off her cheeks. "All done." His hand stays where he last wiped, gently stroking the skin and looking at her wound on her forehead. "I'm sorry for all this…I didn't think anyone would follow me."
Her brow raises in shock. "Are you joking?" She pushes his hand away, shaking her head. "Jon, why did you leave in the first place? You had us terrified!" Her anger was returning. He was quiet for a moment. "Were you just not going to come back? Just leave behind your family and never return because of this revelation?"
"No," he instantly responds, looking at her. "I was going to come back – I was never going to leave you alone."
"Then why did you just get up and leave?" At this point, she was staring out into the water. "I understand what we found out was something neither of us expected but you just…left." She shakes her head and stares down at the ground. "You didn't even say goodbye. Just went on your way. Do you know how much you worried me? Gods only know what the children are thinking right now. You-"
"I didn't want them to see me," he answers, interrupting her. He was looking out into the water. She turns her head to glance at him, her brow furrowed in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
Jon doesn't respond. He just stares into the vast sea in front of them. It was in this moment she really noticed the age on his face. It wasn't like he had changed much. He still had the same handsome features she had fallen for, that Northern look that had attracted her so much so long ago, but the moon shone down on him like a bright light, illuminating the bags under his eyes.
"I've never felt so much anger," he finally says. He doesn't look over at her. "When Dan showed me that…I stepped out of the memory early. I couldn't stand to see my sister and my brother do something so…" He shakes his head, not even finding the right words. "I had to get out of the room before I did something or said something I would regret. And when I went to my chambers, I only had one thought on my mind."
He looks over at her, his hands intertwined together, his knees against his chest, but he had the most serious look on his face.
"I wanted to kill them."
Daenerys doesn't say anything, just watches as he looks back out into the sea. It was silent between the two for a few moments before she looks back at him.
"Why did you want to?"
At that, Jon lets out a bitter laugh before standing up, walking back to the fire. Daenerys sighs and stands as well.
"Jon-"
"That has to be the worst question you have ever asked me," he states, turning back to her.
She stood there, shocked at his words for a second, but doesn't let them stop her from walking forward.
"Why would I want to kill the people who fucked my life over, and manipulated me into killing the one I love?"
He throws a piece of wood – rather harshly – into the fire pit, watching it burn.
"Why would I want to get revenge on the person who convinced a fucking dwarf that you were going to burn down a city, and have him go along with fucking poisoning you?"
He turns back to her, and now she could see the glistening in his eyes – he was holding back tears.
"Why would I want to end the lives of the people who ruined you, made you look like a monster, and made me kill you, only for it to be all some fucking ruse for them to take power?" He was shaking now, pointing out at the sea. "I mean, fuck, Dany, I-"
He stops himself, looking away.
"I killed you. Because they knew I cared about my family but knew I wouldn't take the crown. They did it all for their gain and I…" He shakes his head again, and that's when she could see his shoulders start to shake.
She walks over to him calmly, letting herself drop Dark Sister onto the ground.
"They poisoned you," he sobs, his head now in his hands. "And manipulated me…into killing you."
At that moment, she wraps her arms tightly around his middle, pulling him close to her to try and offer the best embrace she could. That only seemed to make him cry harder, and he collapses onto his knees, taking her with him. Even so, she still keeps her arms around him, not loosening for a second. Within a minute, she was crying too.
It hurt to see someone that was so strong and had been through so much break down right in front of her. She didn't think she saw Jon cry ever, even when he was dying. So this was something she wasn't used to whatsoever.
"I thought they were my family," he sobs against her neck. "And they betrayed me. They betrayed both of us."
Daenerys lets out a low sigh, rubbing his back. Gods, did she know about that. "I know," she whispers softly, trying to calm him down. "I know." She runs her hands now through his hair as he continued to sob. She could feel his tears leaking onto her clothing, but she didn't care.
When he pulls back, she rests her hands on his cheeks, wiping away his soaked skin. He speaks softly. "I should have known." He looks back at her. "I should have known they would so something…Sansa was always craving power…and then Bran suddenly wanted it as well…I should have known they would convince someone to do something and I…" He shakes his head and looks back at the ground. "I killed you, Dany. Fuck."
"Hey." This time, it was she who rested her hands against his chin, forcing him to look at her. His eyes were so red. It looked like he had been crying a lot today. "I don't care about what happened."
"You can't tell me you aren't mad at what they did."
"I'm enraged," she whispers, her voice breaking. "I can't believe your family would do something like that, but what happened then isn't what we are now. It doesn't matter if we were poisoned or manipulated or anything – we are both here right now, despite what happened. That has to mean something to you."
Jon looks at her quietly. She could see his lip quivering. "I'm so sorry," he weeps. "I'm so sorry for what I did…"
"You have nothing to apologize for that you haven't already," she reassures him, not moving her hands from his cheeks. "What they did was horrible…but you now know at least it wasn't truly me doing those horrible biddings."
He swallows thickly, looking back at the ground. "I knew there was something wrong…I knew it wasn't you in there that was doing that. It wasn't the Dany I loved." He glances back at the fire. "Everything…it was all just a lie." He runs his hands through his hair, letting his head rest on his knees. "I don't even know who to trust anymore."
Daenerys looks at him softly before grabbing his hands in hers. "You can trust me." Jon moves his gaze back to her, and she could see the softest hint of a smile. "And you can trust our children, my men, everyone there…look at Arya…your whole family isn't full of monsters. She's the sweetest out of everyone."
"Arya," he mutters, shaking his head. "I don't even know how she's feeling about this."
"She was upset," Daenerys answers, letting her hands drop back to the ground. "Understandably, but I didn't really speak with her. She escorted herself out – didn't want to speak about it."
Jon looks back at her. "And the children?"
"They were more frightened that you suddenly disappeared and thought they shouldn't have told you."
"No," he mutters. "They had every right to tell me. And it's good that they did." She didn't miss the dark tone his voice took with that statement.
"I told them the same thing."
Jon glances at the ground before letting out a sigh. "I'm so sorry, Dany." He looks over at her. "For leaving like that. I just saw Jonarys appear out of nowhere and I…I felt the need to go."
"I wanted to ask that," she states, glancing around. "Where is my dragon?"
Jon rubs the back of his neck. "Jonarys is…flying somewhere." Her eyes widen at that statement and Jon raises his hands in defense. "Don't strangle me yet. He is alright as far as I know. I think I might have scared him off a little."
"What is that even supposed to mean?"
"I was yelling a lot – and throwing things into the water. I was angry. You have to believe that."
Daenerys shakes her head. "Great…one of my dragons is missing."
"He'll be back. I can feel it." She raises her brow at him. "It's…I don't know how to explain it. Remember when you told me Drogon disappeared for a while when you first ruled Meereen? But you knew you'd see him again? That's how I feel right now. I think he's just flying around the continent, surveying the land."
"Right," she states, chuckling a bit. "I wanted to ask – why are we on Sothoryos where both of our dragons could easily be killed by the bloody murderous creatures here? Did you tell Jonarys to come here?"
Jon rubs the back of his neck, glancing at the water. "No. To be honest, a part of me completely forgot about this place. I have never met many people from here…I think Jonarys just wanted to take me somewhere I would be alone."
She raises her brow. "How did it end up being here, though? And…" She sighs and runs a hand through her dirty hair. "I put off asking this because I didn't know how to bring it up, but why did you go to the slave cities?" He was quiet, still looking out at the sea. "Jon, either you answer or I swear I will make you."
"I wanted to go to Westeros first." He moves his eyes back to her, and she sees the pain return within his dark orbs. "I told you…I wanted to kill them. I wanted to fly directly there and find them, take them back, and make them suffer like Daario. But when I flew there…I just couldn't do it." He glances at the ground, sighing. "As angry as I am, I couldn't just go there and hurt them. That only would prove more of what people think of us."
Her brow furrows. "What do you mean?"
"That all Targaryen's can do is burn people," he answers, looking back to her. "I thought of the children, what they would think. What Dan would think. I mean, Daemon grew up hearing about you and the good you have done…but if I suddenly snapped and burned people down, what would that show her? It would only show the stories she heard of past Targaryen's were true…and I'm quite positive that wouldn't help herself accept who she is."
Daenerys looks at him quietly before reaching over, grabbing his hand in hers. "I'm proud of you."
He snorts. "Why? That I didn't kill them when I had the chance?"
"No," she answers. She needed to break him out of this pain somehow. "That you went with your head. You didn't succumb to emotions. There have been so many times in the past where all I wanted to do was burn the people alive that hurt me. If I wanted to, I could have flown on Drogon when I awoke and tried to find you…but I didn't. Because the world is bigger than just the two of us now. You made the smart decision."
"Then why does it feel awful?" he asks her, his voice soft.
"Because you're still angry. You still want revenge. There's nowhere that says you can't get it – but it's better if it's not on impulse. It takes planning." Jon sighs, glancing back at the ground. She bites her lip and nods for him to continue. "What happened after that?"
Jon's quietness returned and he gazed back out at the water. "Once I did tell Jonarys to stop, I kept thinking about what I was doing." He sighs slowly. "I couldn't go back to the pyramid yet because I wasn't ready to face my sister or talk about any of it yet. But I knew that I was going nowhere. If I was flying on Jonarys, I might as well do something. So I decided to visit Yunkai and Astapor and tell them you were taken. After that, I just…wanted somewhere alone, where no one would be. So I assume he knew to take me here. I didn't expect someone to follow me…I suppose I should have predicted you, though."
Her brow raises. "But with the men in the slave cities…why? You know that could cause many problems."
"I talked with Arya while Dan was healing from her seizure," he responds, looking over at her. "And I know that you said you weren't going to marry anyone any time soon, but the idea was still in my head. And she said that if you were…what would that mean for me?"
She stares at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"
"Dany, even if we aren't…I don't know, together or anything like that, you're still my family. And so are my children. If some new man suddenly comes into your lives, becoming your husband, where does that leave me? He won't be okay with someone being around that isn't your husband. Or being around the children as often. What about Arya, even? She wouldn't be okay with it. She's only there because she cares for us but if I was suddenly replace-"
"Whoa, stop." She raises her hands, trying to slow him down. "You wouldn't be replaced. If my so-called 'husband' had an issue with it, I would stop him in his tracks quickly. You would stay there. You wouldn't not see the children. You would still be welcome in my life, Jon. I know why you would think you would be kicked out…I care about you. We all care about you."
He doesn't respond, just moves his head and looks back at the ground. Daenerys sighs and shakes her head. After a moment, she speaks again.
"I understand your reasoning," she says to him gently. "Really, I do. And honestly…I didn't particularly want to marry any of those men anyway. I'm more concerned about how it might spread to other parts of Essos…and if it might find its way back to Westeros, somehow – even if it's a lie, people might begin to think things. It's a miracle that me living after what happened had stayed a secret for so long before I was found out."
He was still quiet, but after a moment, he glances back over at her. "I just wanted to protect the last shred of a family that I had."
Dany feels her shoulders drop, and her heart stops. Fuck, how could she be angry at someone who says that?
She reaches over and grabs his hand again, holding it in her own. "You wouldn't have lost us." He looks over at her, and she gives him a soft smile. "You wouldn't have. I understand why you did it – but next time, ask first. Please. Before another city decides to start issues with us."
Jon nods quietly. She lets out a soft sigh and looks up to the sky.
"I suppose our dragons won't return yet," she mutters. Jon looks up as well.
"They're alright…they're probably just resting."
Daenerys glances back at him. "We have children to return to."
"Have you seen our children? They will be fine for a night – especially with Arya there as well." He stands, looking down at her. "We can rest until then and leave as soon as Drogon and Jonarys return back."
"It's freezing cold," she mutters, bringing her hands together to rub them. It was true. As soon as the sun set, the humidity and the heat disappeared and were replaced by frigid temperatures. It reminded her of the desert, of walking in the Red Waste all that time ago.
It would be scorching hot during the day, but the nights were the coldest without someone to cling to. She remembered she would try and huddle with her Dothraki handmaidens to attempt to stay warm.
Jon looks down at her before offering his hand to help her stand. "I'll keep you warm."
Daenerys raises an eyebrow at his words. As much as she wanted to comment on them, she couldn't deny that a part of her looked forward to that.
So, she quietly takes his hand, walking with him as he guides her back to the little campsite that he had set up. There wasn't much, just fire and what looked like a pack of sorts. She tilts her head, having not seen that before.
"What do you have there?"
Her finger aims at the bag and he looks over, before chuckling a bit, embarrassingly. "Ah, that." He leans down and grabs the pack, before turning to her. "So, uh…hear me out."
Daenerys raises her brow as he begins to pull out multiple things. Two seemed to be some oranges that had been in his room, things she had given to him specifically over dinner one night. But the last item made her nearly take a step back.
It was a container that held wine.
"Why do you have that?" she asks, her voice absolutely filled with judgment. Jon lowers it to the ground before turning to her.
"When Jonarys came, I didn't know how long I was going to be – I knew it wouldn't be a week or anything but I had to bring something. There wasn't much in my chambers but this-" He stops and rubs the back of his neck again before looking back at her. "I had a lot on my mind. I thought drinking might help once I…settled debts. But since I didn't do what I thought I would, I haven't touched it."
Daenerys was still staring at him, her arms crossing. He sighs and looks back at her.
"I'm sorry. I know it was a stupid thing to bring."
She glances back at the bottle of wine before shaking her head. "Jon, I'm not annoyed with the wine. In fact, it's almost sweet you brought it – I gave you that." Which was true. She had gifted it to him during dinner – as she had done with the oranges – for his thanks for training her with the sword. She didn't think he would drink it that quickly.
But desperate times called for desperate measures, she supposed.
"If you want anything else to eat, I can hunt something," he states to her. "I'm just used to an empty stomach."
Daenerys shakes her head and then sits down at the fire. "The fruit will do for now. We'll just need to make sure we eat something good when we arrive back to Meereen." She grabs the container and holds it in her hands. "But for now, we could at least have some fun despite what we've heard."
Jon looks at the wine before letting out a quiet smile. "I suppose we can."
Hours pass before the wine was almost completely gone.
Daenerys was one to usually drink wine slowly for hours, just because it was not queen-like to suddenly devour a whole entire bottle quickly. One of her goals in life was never to become as drunk as Tyrion would get – or to even get remotely close.
But right now, she had drank it quite quickly, and so had Jon. It wasn't even that they were stranded until their dragons returned or anything like that. It was only because, after everything they had heard and discovered, she deserved a drink. And so did he.
Now, all they were doing was just telling stories of their lives before they met. It was strange, how it seemed they didn't speak much about it when they were together all those years ago. They had their time on the boat – but most of that had been in the bed and not just speaking. When they had arrived at Winterfell, they hadn't been together as often – only sometimes at night.
And then everything had happened and they didn't see each other for years. When they would train, they would swap random little stories from their adventures but never to this extent.
In this conversation alone, Daenerys had learned about many instances from Jon's past. He told her about Ygritte, and not just that he had been with her – how he had met her, gotten with her, and how it had ended. He told her about how he had joined the Night's Watch, and how he had met Sam.
He spoke about how he was anointed Lord Commander out of nowhere because Sam had nominated him, and people had voted for Jon because they believed in him. He talked of Ghost, and how he was given the runt of the litter, but ended up being one of the only few that survived.
He even opened up more about his childhood. That was something she had never seen that much from Jon. It was like he tried to hide what he went through despite the fact that it made him who he was now. He talked about his mother, how she mistreated him, how Sansa practically hated him until they grew older – which took on a sour tone. How he had trained Arya until he had to leave. How Robb had been a true brother despite how some of his family members would treat him.
She had to admit, she had felt bad for him. She could never imagine a mother treating a child so badly. In her life when she was older, Viserys had been the one to whore her around for someone to marry so he could find his army, but as a child, she had never been mistreated. Maybe it was because she didn't have a mother growing up and that's why she wanted to be the best version of what she could be for her children. But the idea of someone just treating a child horribly because it wasn't theirs? It wasn't the child's fault.
After some time, she started to speak about her past as well, starting with her brother and their time together running alone, before he gave her away to Khal Drogo. She'd talk about her marriage to him and how it started off quite bad and turned into something good. She spoke about her time in the slave cities before she took over, and how she acquired all of her armies. She talked about her first time in Meereen, and the loneliness she had felt when she locked up her dragons and Drogon flew off.
It was good, to get all of this off of her chest. She constantly felt like she had to keep up walls to make sure appearances remained the same, that no one questioned her power. But in all honesty, it was hard to consistently look like you had everything under control, and you weren't feeling pain inside.
But having Jon here in front of her gave her that release. She could speak to others about what she had gone through, but he was the only one who could truly understand – because he had been through some of it too.
"I was surprised when I discovered he and Missandei were together." Now they were talking about the Unsullied and Greyworm. "I mean, she was a great girl. And he was a great commander. But he always seemed so devoted to you."
She raises her brow at him. "That's a bad thing to be devoted to a queen?"
Jon sighs. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant – the way he acted sometimes reminds me of the way Daario acted with you. He was very protective. He was very serious all the time. I don't think I ever saw him crack a smile."
Daenerys smiles a bit. "He was like that, yes. But it's only because he had to be. It's how all the Unsullied were. They were trained at a young age to become mindless killers. And I wanted to get rid of that. I didn't even force them to become my men. I let them choose."
Jon's brow raises. "Really?"
"I let anyone who fought for me choose. I would end the people who would cause their suffering because no one deserved to go through what they did. For the Unsullied, it was the slave masters. For the Dothraki, it was the Khals who kept many of their people under their rule. And after, if they wanted to fight for me, they could. Every person you saw serving me? It was by choice. Even Missandei. I bought her off of her slave master so she wouldn't have to be with him any longer, but if she had requested to go home, I would have sent her off and said goodbye. But she stayed because she cared for me."
Jon glances at the ground, and she sees a sad look appear on his face. Her brow furrows.
"What is it? Did I say something?"
"No, no," he responds, glancing back at her. "Missendai told me the same statement a long time ago – when I was figuring out if I should trust you or not. I asked her if she wanted to go home, would you let her? And she said that you would."
Daenerys smiles sadly. "She knew me well."
She looks at the nearly empty bottle of wine before drinking the last bit of it, lowering it back to the ground. As she does, she looks back over at him.
"We need to move on."
His brow furrows. "What?"
"I know what happened to us was horrible," she whispers. "I hate what they did. I hate what Tyrion did and how he was so easily fooled. I hate that Varys was the one who poisoned me. I hate that your family planned it and hurt you in the process. I hate it all." She glances back into the fire. "But we need to be more than that."
He was still looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know if this is the wine speaking," she states, swallowing slightly. Her vision was a bit fuzzy and she did feel slightly drunk, but if she didn't get this out now, she knew she never would. "But what happened, happened. There is nothing else we can do to go back in time and change the past. I burned thousands because I was poisoned. You killed me because you were manipulated. But what else can we do except move on and be better?" She stands and wobbles a bit before gaining her footing again. The last thing she wanted was to be a drunken fool in front of Jon, of all people. "We have both been abused by people our whole lives. People who were supposed to love us. And yet we choose to focus on that and not on what we have now?"
She turns to him, gesturing around, her hands moving wildly in the area.
"We have this whole city to ourselves. We have children who bloody love us more than anything in this world. We have people who support us, care for us. There is nothing else we can do except move to what we are now."
He raises an eyebrow at her. "And what is that, Dany?"
Daenerys looks around the small refuge they had before looking at him. "I don't know," she answers, starting to walk around the fire. "Powerful rulers? Leaders? A mother and a father?" She glances out at the sea again. "We have dragons, an army…if we wanted to we could even find more people, and go back and invade Westeros again."
Jon was silent. Daenerys bites her lip before shaking her head. That was a stupid thought. Jon didn't want a crown. She was almost too afraid to go back after what happened.
"I don't know, Jon. Even after what happened, I feel that we…we're just better now." She turns over to him and smiles, almost too brightly. It seemed the wine was finally getting to her a bit. "I mean, look at us. We are stranded on a continent that hardly anyone comes to because it's filled with beasts that could quite literally tear us apart, but my dragon tore it's neck open and killed it. My dragon! I mean, we both have dragons! Who would have thought that ten years ago, dragons could even exist? And now we have four. That has to mean something for us. That we've beaten what the world has thrown at the Targaryens. The world can just go and fuck itself!"
She didn't think she had ever spoken so many profanities as she had in Jon Snow's presence. She supposed it was his Northern personality that was rubbing off on her. Whether that was good or bad she had yet to determine. But as she stood there, staring out at the sea, she lets out a soft sigh.
Daenerys turns on her heel and walks back to Jon, but her footing gets caught in a large root that was embedded into the ground, causing her to fall. She loses her balance and falls face forward, but instead of landing directly on the ground, she feels two arms catch her and lowers her gently to her bottom. She glances up and feels her cheeks turn red at seeing Jon staring at her, rather amused.
"Don't laugh," she mutters.
"I'm not, I'm not – I think you just had too much to drink," he says to her gently, chuckling a bit.
She sighs and shakes her head. "Even so…even if I did…what I say is true." Dany looks back up at him. "I want to be more than what we were before. I want to be a mother, a queen, a ruler – I don't care what happened to us. I mean, I care but – I just want to mean more. To be someone…better."
"You are," he says to her gently. His hand rests gently on her side. "Trust me."
"Why do you think that?" she asks. "What if…I'm all just…making this up as I go?" Jon raises his brow at her, and she sighs. "Alright, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but…I don't know."
"Dany, if you were making it up as you went, you wouldn't be a good ruler. I don't think I've ever met anyone else who cares as much about her people as you do, as much about innocents – about the people who don't benefit her but want to keep them safe. You are a better version of yourself, and if you can't see that, everyone else can for you."
Daenerys smiles a bit, letting her head fall. For someone who didn't know what to say on most occasions, Jon knew how to make her feel a little better about the situations they were in.
"Have you always had this fear?" he asks her. She shakes her head.
"No...it only really started when I had children." She looks up at him again. "I wanted to be better for them, so they weren't settled with the common idea that all Targaryens are monsters…I wanted to be the best mother and ruler I could possibly achieve, but I always feel like there's something more I can do." She glances out at the sea once more. The whipping of waves was going to make her tired. It was soothing. "When I was younger, I wanted to take back the throne for my family, for revenge, for everything I had gone through. Now…I just want to make sure my children are taken care of. My needs are gone – I try to focus on them now. I mean, look at us. We are willingly going along with some mystery city that Kinvara is taking us to, all because I want my children to feel more accepted about the strange occurrences that they're having. Past Dany? I would never do that myself. But it's for them."
"Don't think that what you're doing is wrong," he says to her gently. "You're doing much better than many other mothers I have heard from. Sansa once told me about Lysa Arryn – the sister of my 'mother' – and she was probably one of the worst. She still fed her son by the breast even when he was of talking age, around ten."
"I heard of her," she muses, glancing back at him. She smiles a bit before sighing. "You know, when you think about it, you had to kill me."
Jon's brow furrows at her phrasing. "What?" he instantly asks. "Why would you say that?"
"Don't look at me that way. It's true – I'm not angry, it just makes sense. If you hadn't, I would have gone even madder. I would have gone to every city and burned it down. It was only getting stronger as time went on – the poison, I mean. If you didn't do it…who knows what would have happened." She turns around and sighs a bit, running a hand through her hair. "Who knows…" she repeats.
Jon glances at her quietly before she feels his arms snake around her middle. She doesn't fight it. At this point, she was starting to get colder. Any sort of warmth beside the fire she would accept willingly. "I think you need to sleep," he states to her.
"Oh, stop," she mutters, before letting her head rest. Only then did she realize she was right in between his legs, her back up against his chest. His arms were wrapped around her middle to stop her from moving. She raises an eyebrow at him.
"What? You said you were cold. I'm keeping you warm."
"Sure, that's why."
"Dany-"
She shakes her head. "I'm not berating you, Jon - only teasing." She moves her head again and rests it once more on his chest. "This is nice." He was silent, the only sounds being the waves crashing into the shore. After a moment, she glances up at him. "Why are you wearing your hair back again?"
His brow furrows. "What do you mean?"
"That bloody hair tie." She sloppily reaches up and grabs it, practically yanking it out of his hair. He stares at her in surprise as she flings it across the sand, snickering. She looks back at him and finds him shaking his head.
"You do not handle your wine well."
"I do! I'm only stating that your hair doesn't need a tie." She lets her head rest again against his chest. "You wore it down when I first saw you again at the inn and started wearing it up once more when you arrived at the pyramid. I like your hair down."
His brow raises. "You do?"
"Yeah. It's more…I don't know. It feels like you. I never got to see it like that when we first met. It feels...natural." She glances up at him. "Why did you start wearing it up in the first place?"
"It was after the first time I was killed," he answers. "Melisandre had already cut off some of my hair for her ritual but…I just felt that I needed to change. My hair down reminded me of who I was before and when I woke up, I didn't feel quite like myself again…so I tied it up. Had it like that for a while until I had to fully live in the North again, and when I came here, I don't know…thought maybe I should start tying it up."
Daenerys nods, understanding where that hobby had come from. "Well…" She turns her head to look at him again. "I think you should start wearing it down. You were brought back again. You were given a second chance again. Wearing it down could mean…a new you. Besides – I already gave you a haircut so you have to wear it down for me."
She hears Jon snort and feels his chest move with his small laughter.
"Is that how it works?"
"As Queen of Meereen, I demand it."
He feels his hands move to her own hair, looking at the tendrils. "I always wondered how you knew how to cut hair. Why do you?"
"I told you." She turns to him. "I was on my own for a long time with my brother. We didn't have many people to take care of us. So we had to take care of ourselves. I suppose some of the skills I learned stayed with me – like cutting hair." Dany raises an eyebrow at him. "Why are you suddenly so interested in my own hair?"
"Because honestly?" She nods. "It smells awful." Her mouth opens in shock and he chuckles a bit. "I think the forest might have gotten to you."
"Well, there is a possibility of wyvern blood in there – going to need serious cleaning when we arrive home." She lays her head back on his chest, looking back at the sea. So this is what being content felt like? She quite liked it.
After a moment, Dany looks back up at him.
"You know, with your hair down you're going to attract attention too."
His brow furrows. "What do you mean attention? Bad attention?"
"No. I mean women are going to throw themselves at you." She feels him snort again – she was starting to really like the sound of his laugh. "What? I'm serious. You had to have had women like that after all this time. Don't you…I don't know, want that again?"
He was quiet, but she could still feel him snickering. After a moment, he speaks. "I had women 'throw themselves at me,' as you say, yes. Back beyond the wall – some wildlings. But I never did anything."
She bites her lip, afraid to ask her next question. "Why? You were free."
"I only wanted to be with one person. And she never got out of my head. She still isn't."
If her cheeks could grow redder, they would. "Oh." For a woman who had so much practice speaking to large crowds, she could barely form the words to respond to what he said. "Well, um…I suppose that changed."
He was silent. For a moment, she thought she had ruined their fun, their moment of peace and happiness. She had asked and brought up too much and suddenly he would seclude into himself again. But after a moment, she feels him shake his head. "No. It hasn't."
Daenerys turns to look at him in surprise, but he only nods and continues to talk.
"I was going to ask you to marry me back then, you know."
Her brow raises high. "You…what?"
"I was." He glances back at the sea, and she turns her head, his gaze suddenly overwhelming. "I had it planned. I was going to take you back to that place I took you to when we first arrived at Winterfell. You remember that?"
"Where we could have stayed for a thousand years?" she asks, a slight smile on her face at the memory.
"The very one. And I would ask you there." He sighs, and his grip on her lessons. Coldness returns a little. "But then I found out who I was and…I was so confused and conflicted. I wanted to be with you but every past lesson in my life said no."
"Oh," she mumbles.
"I did want to be with you." She glances back at him, a new emotion – shyness – invading her body. This conversation took a turn quite quickly. "I know it didn't seem like that, but I did. Every single part of me told me to be with you except my head. But the night before you attacked King's Landing…I decided I was still going to ask, despite everything that happened…and then the burning occurred. The fire…and then Tyrion…
She suddenly feels his grip tighten, and she knew why. He was getting angry.
Daenerys reaches behind her and grabs the back of his neck, moving his gaze to her own. As much as this conversation scared her, she didn't need him to grow angry as he had earlier.
And it was the same view of his eyes, filled with rage. But as soon as he made contact with her own, she almost saw it all but vanish. "It's alright," she whispers. "I told you – you had to. It's in the past…let it be. You're here with me – it's okay."
"It's not," he mutters.
"But it is," she reassures. Her fingers start to comb through the bottom parts of his hair again, and he lets out a soft sigh, closing his eyes. "Believe me…if it wasn't okay with me, we wouldn't be here right now."
Jon opens his eyes again and smiles a bit. "I guess you're right on that."
His grip relaxes, and she turns her head again, resting it on his chest once more. "So, you did still want to be with me?" she asks cheekily.
"I did. Everything just…happened. I never had the chance to go through with it."
Daenerys nods softly. His hands move to her midsection, gently resting above her navel. This was the most peaceful she had felt in she didn't know how long.
"Well, you did get half of what marriage entails." His brow furrows and she smiles a bit, looking back at him. "Children."
Jon shakes his head as she turns her own, resting once again. "That I did…by the grace of the God's above and below." She feels him laugh again. "Dan really did grow into you. She was so stubborn – still is. But she had your smile and your laugh…it was almost like a perfect match."
"You're one to speak," she responds. "Daemon wanted nothing more than to learn about you. He tried so hard to emulate how you fought with your sword. He wanted to be just like you." She smiles a bit and rests one of her hands on his own again. "That's becoming more of a reality these days."
"It is."
She was quiet for a moment, looking down at where his hands lay. Her mind thinks back to everything they had been through, how they were here now. The stupidest of thoughts start to enter her mind, but as she stared down at her stomach, where his hands laid right on top, she decided to ask it anyway.
"Did you ever want a third?"
He moves slightly, this time shifting her so he could fully look at her – although most of her body still laid between his legs. "What?"
"A third…child, I mean." As she asked it, she realized how it sounded. "I…I didn't mean with me, or…or anything. I meant if you ever…I don't know, found someone…give the two of them a sibling or…I don't know."
Her words were being completely fumbled. She was losing her sense of self staring into his eyes. It was penetrating, mesmerizing. Despite her choice of words and the heat that spread through her skin, she could not force herself to look away.
"I'm sorry. I sound mad."
"No," he responds. His voice was barely above a whisper. She could hear the crackling of the fire almost overtake it. "You don't."
She stares at him as he raises a hand to her cheek, gently caressing the skin. Gods, if she could melt, she would. What was it about him that suddenly had her spitting up her words? His newfound confidence? His sweetness? His hair? Whatever it was, it stilled her, froze her, and she was locked under his look.
"I have thought about a third," he says softly. "I love my children – and if we're being completely honest, I want as many as I can get. I grew up with siblings, and to give Dan and Daemon more would be amazing." He lowers his hand back to her waist, letting it sit right above her navel again. "But you need to be honest with me, Daenerys."
Her full name. She couldn't even move, only nods her head.
"Would you want me to have that?" he asks, his gaze piercing into her own. Questions lingered within it. "With anyone else but you?"
Her brow furrows. The question didn't even seem to process. "I…what?"
"You heard me," he responds. "Would you?"
Her voice was completely shot. All she could do is open and close her mouth like a dying fish, searching for air. But the most she could do was stare. She sees his gaze flicker towards her lips and she instinctively licks them before he moves his gaze back to hers. "I…" She swallows, trying to form words. Anything. But nothing comes out. "I…Jon…"
She stares up at him, and him at her. She glances at his lips and then back at his eyes. That same force from the night of the festival took over her, and she found herself leaning in closer and closer, mesmerized by his gaze. It seemed she could almost feel his heartbeat against her hand, resting softly on his chest, speeding up and up. There was barely an inch between them when she closed her eyes. Her forehead touches his.
A loud screech caused her to jump.
Her eyes snap open and he stands, grabbing his sword, looking around. Her mind instantly thinks 'wyvern,' but instead, two loud and colorful dragons appear above their heads, circling over the treetops, before landing on the sand. She lets out a breath of relief. They were okay.
But as she looked at Jon, she realized they had, again, almost kissed.
He looks over at her, and she sees the disappointment in his expression, but he manages a quiet smile and nods towards the dragons. "I suppose we can head back now. Can't be too far of a fly."
Daenerys nods gently, walking over to Drogon. Before she climbs on his back, she stops in her tracks. "Jon?" He moves his gaze back to her. "When we get back to the pyramid…say hello to the children, talk with your sister…but afterward, come to my chambers."
He doesn't reply but nods his head. Quietly, he climbs onto Jonarys and takes off into the sky quickly, and she follows, swallowing her fears. Drogon had come probably at the best and worst time ever. And flying right now, while slightly drunk, was not helping her with her head.
But she trusted that Drogon at least knew his way home – and when she did get there, she hoped Jon followed through with what she asked.
When they did arrive back in Meereen, Daenerys had noticed that Jon had gotten back first. Jonarys was resting on top of the pyramid, but when he saw Drogon, he flew back to where the pit was. Daenerys quietly hops off of Drogon onto her balcony, watching as her dragon flew behind Jonarys, going back to the others.
The sun was already set. She knew many would not see her. But she was happy to be back.
She sighs as she leans against the banister, running her hands through her hair. What the fuck had happened on that continent?
It was like all of her walls she had put up came crashing down the moment the alcohol touched her lips. Was it that they had shared their pasts with each other that she didn't speak about before? Or was it when he started to laugh and smile with her despite the pain they were both going through? Or was it his fucking gaze that practically saw right into her.
"Seven hells," she whispers, looking back up at the night sky.
How was she even going to speak with him after this? She had practically embarrassed herself on the island in front of him. She felt like a fool.
As she steps away from the balcony, she walks over to the mirror in her room, looking at herself in the mirror. The moment she did, she took a step back, before chuckling. Jon was right – she did look absolutely awful.
Although the blood from her wounds had stopped, her bandages were covered in dirt – and so was her face. Her hair – as Jon had said – smelled of dirt and guts from that monster Drogon had killed. For someone who ruled, she did not look very queen-like here.
"I do need to bathe," she whispers, shaking her head. Now that she really looked at herself, she realized that the alcohol had finally calmed down. Her head didn't hurt and her vision wasn't blurry – probably from riding Drogon, honestly.
She moves her hands quietly to her stomach where Jon's were earlier, and suddenly, she realizes something – despite the fact that she looked and smelt absolutely awful, Jon had still held her close to him to keep her warm. He still wrapped his arms around her to make sure she was comfortable. He was still there.
He was always…there.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and she jumps. After taking a breath – or several – she turns. "You may come in." She really needed to learn to be more aware of her surroundings.
Quietly, the door opens, and in walks who she was expecting – Jon himself. She smiles at him quietly as he closes the door. "Are you feeling alright?" he asks her quietly. "After the wine?"
"I'm feeling great," she replies, which wasn't a total lie. She didn't feel sick or anything – just more nervous than she had been in a long time. "Did you see the children? And Arya?"
"I did say hello to them," he says, walking over to her. "Daemon was shocked to see me and hugged me tightly, asking questions. I told him to relax and that I would explain everything tomorrow. Dan seemed to just go back to sleep after her hug." He chuckles and shakes his head. "Guess she wasn't as worried because she knows I would have been alright. Not surprised."
"And of Arya?"
"Asleep. And I've learned from years of living with her not to wake her when she's sleeping. She used to get quite grumpy. Don't want to know what it's like now that she's older."
Daenerys laughs, moving over to the bed to sit on it, but she stays silent, her gaze moved to the ground. Jon looks over at her, glancing around the room, before sighing.
"Dany, what is it?" She doesn't reply, not knowing what to say. All that she wanted to speak about had left her the moment he smiled about his sister. He moves to sit next to her. When she still doesn't speak, he looks at the ground. "Is this about what I asked?"
After a moment, she looks back at him, willing herself to speak. "Y-yes, and I-"
"Fuck." He stands and runs his hands through his hair. "Look, I'm sorry. I had wine in me and I said some things and I-"
"I don't."
He stops and looks at her, his brow furrowed. "What?"
"Please…sit." She reaches out and takes his hand, looking up at him. "Sit with me."
Jon's expression changes and he nods, moving next to her again. "What is it?"
Daenerys swallows and looks at the ground, before moving her gaze back to him. "I...know we were drinking, but it was not like either of us didn't mean what we said to each other." She doesn't move where she was looking, but wills herself to not glance away. "Do you remember what you asked me? If I…I wanted you to have a life with someone else besides me?"
He nods after a moment, letting her speak.
Daenerys bites her lip and sighs. "I…this sounds extremely selfish." She finally moves her gaze. She couldn't believe the words coming out of her own mouth. "I don't want to lose you again, Jon."
She forces herself to look up at him, and this time, she could feel tears trying to break her vision, but she wills them down, needing to get through this.
"I have lost…so much. I have lost some of my family, my dragons, my friends…my life. I nearly lost my daughter. But I…I can't lose you. Not again." Her lip starts to quiver, but she forces herself through her words. "You have been there…through everything. You've protected us, helped us, trained us…it hasn't even been that long and I can't even think of even having another day without you here."
She takes a deep breath, trying to stop her voice from cracking.
"And when I did lose you…when you died…a part of me died with it. I thought I would never see you again. I thought I lost any chance of…having normalcy or whatever it is we are trying to live…and you want to know what made me realize this? On the island…I smelt awful. I still smell awful. And yet you held me to make sure I wouldn't freeze, or even be close to cold. You made sure that even though…I put myself in that spot…you made sure you were there."
Jon's gaze changes, and he smiles at her words, before snickering a bit. "You do still smell awful, yes." That causes her to laugh, and the motion makes a tear escape. She wipes it away, shaking her head.
"Stop, don't make me laugh," she commands. "I have to get through this." Daenerys looks up at him and lets out a shuddering breath, before letting her shoulders fall. "I can't lose you again, Jon…and I don't know if it's…something more or something less or…just my past holding on…but I can't let you go. No matter how hard I've tried…I can't let you go. And the very thought of you going off with someone and having…having a child with them…it…"
She couldn't even describe the word – but it didn't seem that she needed to. He rests his hand against her cheek, wiping away another stray tear. Daenerys looks up at him and feels herself let out a breath of relief. He was smiling.
"I understand," he whispers, before wrapping his arms around her. That one movement broke her and she starts to cry, letting herself go for probably the hundredth time today before she pulls back and rests her forehead against hers. His hand strokes her cheek, much like it had done back on the beach. "You're my family. I'm not going anywhere without you or the children, Dany."
"Good," she murmurs, feeling her cheeks begin to hurt. She couldn't remember the last time she had smiled this large. "Because I would have commanded you to stay if you did leave," she jokes, and he chuckles, before lowering his hand to hers. She pulls back after a moment and sighs. "I'm sorry…I've completely lost my composure. I shouldn't have-"
"Dany, would you stop apologizing to me?" he asks her. "If anything, I should be saying sorry for running when I should have stayed – which I am sorry for. That wyvern nearly killed you."
Daenerys sighs before nodding her head. "That was quite awful, yes. I won't lie about that." She turns to him and wipes at her cheeks, ushering away any of the tears she still had. "There is a way you can make it up to me though."
His brow raises, and she moves so that she was on the bed in the middle before lifting the fur over her body. She looks over at him and ushers for him to come close. He does so, and she starts to move into the same position that she was in while in Sothoryos, right between his legs, her head on his chest.
While a part of her had been nervous that it wouldn't feel quite the same without the wine, it felt so much better now with her sober. And when he arms wrapped around her, the same warmth returned to her, only this time hotter.
"I want you to stay with me. In here." She looks up at him. "I mean move your items and your possessions and everything else…even if we leave soon. I can't have you running off like that again…and you're quite warm. I like that...helps me fall asleep."
Jon chuckles, and she feels herself let out a soft sigh of bliss. "Of course, Dany. You'll have to put up with Ghost, though."
"Put up with him? I'm quite sure he likes me more than you," she challenges.
"Yeah? We'll put that to the test tomorrow then."
"Good. I'll show you that you're wrong." She feels him begin to do the same thing she had done for him multiple times now – run his fingers through her hair to calm her down. And it was working quite well. Her eyes dipped close within a minute.
"Sleep, Dany. You're safe here," he says to her gently. "I'm not leaving...I'll be here tomorrow."
With that reassurance in her head and his heartbeat soothing her to sleep, Daenerys let herself drift off against him, his arms keeping her secure.
And for the first time in years, she felt herself fall asleep with a smile on her lips.
I promise you the smut is coming, I promise!
You all are probably wanting to kill me right now because I haven't had them kiss and I know it's driving me crazy too but there is a specific moment I want them to have when they actually kiss again for the first time in I don't even know how many years now, so please be patient because it's coming I promise lol next chapter is going to be...intense, that's all I'll say.
As always, love it? Hate it? Want to burn me as Dan did to that soldier (oh wow, I'm coming up with my own now)? Let me know in the reviews, as they always keep me writing and trying to push out these chapters for you as quick as I can - you guys are all awesome and I love writing for you. If we're being completely honest, for a time I lost my passion for writing and I was reaaaaally scared to write this, but you guys have made me feel so accepted with your reviews and your comments - it really does mean the world, so keep leaving them because I love your feedback and your awesomeness! Don't forget to follow or favorite to join us on our adventure, and I will so you all in the next chapter. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you have a great day! Wash your hands and stay healthy!