AN: Hey. Here's something silly I made, hope you enjoy it. Please tell me what you think.

The ice cracked heavily as his pickaxe slammed into it. It did not split apart.

Kristoff sighed at his failed attempt, lifting his tool again he prepared for another assault to get what he considered a treasure.

Crunch.

He stopped. Turning around he looked at his surroundings, hoping to the ice gods that it wasn't a wolf. Sven was far from him, roughly 3 km east, he had no torch with him to ward away pesky predators.. in other words, he's screwed.

Bushes rustled dropping loose leaves on to the frosty grass, and Kristoff grimaced, raising his pickaxe in a show of intimation.

"Hey, Kristoff. There you are, Samantha and me were looking for you everywhere", Olaf jumped out of the bushes(To his relief), waving happily at him. Why is Olaf always so happy, Elsa isn't always happy... so where the hell did he get it from? He had no idea, to be honest. The snowman could have taken all her happiness for himself. Hmmm

"Hey, Olaf. Did Sven tell you I'm here?"

"Hm? Nop", Olaf giggled happily for some reason, dancing around the ice like he's on some type of drugs, which Kristoff wouldn't be surprised if that's the case. The snowman is far too naive for his own good, and would most likely accept anything from anyone.

Kristoff huffed. "Okay spill it, what's got you dancing like this? You met a snowwoman huh?"

"Silly Kristoff! There's no Snow woman."

"Then what's got you so hyped up?"

The snowman paused, and Kristoff took the opportunity to take out his flask and drink some well-deserved water. This looks like it's gonna take a well.

Finally, Olaf answered. "Do you know what sex is?".

Water burst from his lips. After recovering from a coughing fit, he glared in confusion at Olaf. What books is he reading!?

"P-pardon?"

"SEX!"-Kristoff cringed- "DO-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-SEEEEEXXX-IS?", Olaf said, enunciating and dragging out each word like he's some kid or can't speak English... or to be more blunt, like he's dumb.

"Okay okay geez calm down. Yes, I know what it is Olaf", He looked up to see the darkening sky. They can make it in time if they leave now, he can always get more ice another day."Alright, let's go back to Anna", he said, hoping to change the subject.

"and Elsa". Olaf added.

"Yes"

Later the two arrived at the castle after nearly forgetting Sven(You can't blame him, that stupid topic is still on his mind), and thankfully Olaf didn't mention his random topic again. Hopefully, it stayed that way.

"Kristoff?" Olaf broke the peaceful silence once again that hung in the study room.

He rolled his eyes, why did Elsa and Anna leave the snowman with him again." Yes Olaf".

"Do you really know about sex? Something just tells me you don't- ah the smell, must be that".

Kristoff resisted the urge to jump into the fire cackling(probably laughing at his situation) he rolled his eyes for what felt like the billionth time(Yes he can count that high, Olaf wouldn't think so but he can!) "Oh wise one, teach me your divine knowledge"

"Ew no, and aren't you in a relationship with Anna?".

"...W-What no, Olaf I mean the knowledge not the action itself..jeez".

"Ohhhhh I seee, hmmm" Olaf grinned." Ahh from what I gathered sex is an action between two people who love each other very very very much, true love if you will".

Kristoff nodded. Half listening, sleep weighing on his eyelids.

"Good. and when these two people have sex- well make love, they create a baby right?"

"Kristoff!"

He jerked up. He must have dozed off for a sec there. "I'm listening".

"Hmph, anyway. So I deduced(How much is the reading, jeez) that for me to be born, two people had sex".

"Yes", he said, half-absently

"AH, great!, that means Elsa and Anna are my mommies and they made love with each other to make me! I thought I was right YAY".

With those words, Olaf skipped out of the room, not before saying he is gonna tell the whole kingdom that Elsa and Anna made love. Kristoff just sat there. Not blinking.

Well... Elsa and Anna are gonna kill him.