Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray Man in any way, all credit goes to Katsura Hoshino.
Summary: Forced to leave the Order, Allen comes across a secret hidden in the depths of the Ark. Now, hunted by the Noah Clan and considered an enemy by the place he once called home, he has to search for the truth... The truth about Mana, Neah and himself. Where he came from and who he really is. Uncovering a web of illusions and doubts, Allen still moves forward as he promised to do... But what do you do in a war, when you feel like you don't belong to any side?
"The soldier, above all others, prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must bear the deepest wounds and scars of the war" – Douglas MacArthur.
Act Eight – Dance of Light and Darkness
Even the whispering of the leaves had ceased.
The akumas had their multiple eyes on the group, red and of different sizes, some still spun as if unable to fixate on anything as they gleamed with the forest's lights. One of the creatures had its head leaning forwards as a long and pasty-like membrane ran along the base of its helmet in a way similar to a dog licking his muzzle. Elana was sure this was a silent provocation and half expected the Noah to pat its head.
They had come from somewhere in the right direction of Allen and the others. Both groups were at the same distance from the tree and the Innocence it had in its roots. Elana felt her mouth dry. They were five (Six if they counted Raz, but she had no Innocence in her favor) against four… Yet, her nerve endings had become thin. Numbers were illusion: They were at disadvantage here.
Allen wanted to look at Raz with the corner of his eyes. Feeling he couldn't, he kept staring at Tyki Mikk.
The golden-liquid eyes contrasting with the gray skin, the Noah smiled at him in his usual way. Hands in his pants' pockets, the white shirt under the coat almost reflecting the colorful waves, he merely stared back as if they had crossed paths on the street or another normal place.
"Geez, no answer? Aren't you even going to ask how I have been?" He inquired with faked disappointment, his cigarette firm in his mouth as his expression became one of hurt. "And I thought we were camaradas!"
His eyes slithered to the others, stopping briefly on Raz, his laidback expression returning, not giving a hint of his thoughts. Allen felt his legs' bones turning into steel, holding back the sudden impulse of standing in front of the girl, a gesture that could be interpreted more as one of weakness than protection.
And when you were in front of rabid dogs, any movement could provoke an attack.
"If we have to fight, wouldn't it be better to just get on with it?"
He didn't need to look at the others to see their Innocences being activated. Close to his right, he felt Lauren, muscles turned into stone, all the sensation of friendliness fading away. Alison had her bow lifted, the index and medium fingers touching the middle of it, on the ring ornamenting it.
Raz remained still.
Her mind was pierced by images, of Allen's fight against akumas and the one she had witnessed yesterday. As poisonous as the images were, her focus remained on the present, not on the akumas but on the man who had just spoken. His skin was the same grey she had seen in herself back when she had woken up, marking the beginning of the only memories she had.
For the first time, she saw golden eyes and black marks in the shape of stigmas.
But it wasn't just his appearance or the way he talked to Allen, denouncing they had met before. There was a sensation, unlike anything she had felt before, being born somewhere, too deep inside for her to pinpoint as it spread through her blood. Her mind couldn't understand it, but her core seemed to feel as if it should… A sensation she knew.
"Is he… Is he like me…?"
The unknown Noah studied her for a moment, enough to make it clear that although she kept a "normal" appearance, he somehow knew who (or at least what) she was.
A needle of ice pierced her spine and right there, Raz could only wish he wouldn't say anything, that he wouldn't denounce the truth to Alison and the others. Her organs shivered, wanting to change places inside her.
Tyki observed the Accommodators that were with Allen and Raziah. They didn't come as a surprise, though they had never crossed paths before. The Clan had had some suspicions that some Innocence-users had left the Order… Not that they knew or cared why they hadn't turned into Fallen Ones. They were of no importance. It wasn't so easy to hunt akumas if they didn't have the same level of info the Order had and the Earl believed the Heart would most likely be with the Organization rather than risking itself in the open like that.
Not that it meant they wouldn't be killed just as well.
This night was turning out far more amusing than he had previously supposed it would.
"And would you look at that? It seems like you got yourself new friends." He dragged the word.
Lauren's eyes went from Allen to the Noah. There was something twisted in his eyes, despite his carefree mannerisms. He would rip their limbs one by one, as a child does to a fly and enjoy it immensely. She knew it. She could see it in his expression.
Samuel leaned forwards, his attention on the Noah as well, muscles tensed for the fight ahead.
Allen held his wrist and pulled. There was no pain. The flesh slowly dissolved to form a large sword. Even with the situation at hand, Alison couldn't avoid being impressed by the vision. She had never seen an Innocence like that.
"And I told before, didn't I?" He muttered, words cold. He tried to not think much about the last time he had seen Tyki and the circumstances. "If you touch any of my friends… I'll kill you."
There was no room for doubt regarding this promise and despite the gentleness Allen had displayed until now, Elana felt a shiver on her nerves. The Noah merely stared at the boy, as if he had made a joke that only the two of them could understand.
A part of Allen's mind was trying to avoid memories. Apocryphos' attack, Road getting in front of him, the escape and the last words he had exchanged with Lenalee before leaving… And underneath this, there was what Tyki had told him: "You sow chaos wherever you go, boy".
"Oh, you did mention something like this once…" The Noah nodded with a thoughtful expression of one trying to recall an event of long ago. "I could say just a few things regarding that…" Allen could feel the essence of what the Noah of Pleasure would have liked to say and his hand shivered.
"Please, don't let him say anything."
Tyki sighed as he shrugged.
"Sadly, we don't have much time now." His smile was the same of when Allen had first seen him as a Noah, when he had placed a Tease in his heart, which now beat out of rhythm as if the organ could recall it.
"Maybe after we deal with this, we can all have a long chat."
The akumas attacked.
With inhuman speed, Tyki lunged towards them. In his arm, there was a star-shaped shield of Dark Matter, like the one Allen had seen him use during the fights in the Ark. It didn't even shiver once it collided against Allen's sword.
Darkness and light met in the air. Teases appeared, brushing against them, agitating their wings quickly. Allen's white cape gleamed when reflecting waving colors while it wrapped around him, keeping him safe from their bites.
"Just to remember the good old times, boy!" The Noah smiled. Allen didn't reply, the sword a flash that danced as he tried to turn, to stay between Tyki and the tree with the Innocence.
He swirled, the sword slicing the Teases on the way as the Noah attacked with the Dark Matter, at the same time searching for an opening to hit with his power. The impacts didn't go through the cape, but Allen felt the pressure in his body, bones shivering in reply and one lighting of pain ran through him.
A black-tongued akuma jumped towards Elana, revealing a mouth with several rows of iron teeth. The woman cut the air with a folding fan, the exterior painted with black and marked by moving spirals of green. The leaves gleamed with Innocence. Half-moons appeared, following the gesture, hitting the copper-colored armor, not leaving a scratch.
She jumped when it went for her. Its teeth met with nothing, the shock sounding metallic. Samuel attacked with a double-bladed spear. It seemed sharp enough to slice the lights itself.
But the akuma's armor was of no material known to humans. Like its shape defied sanity, so did the elements that made it.
The creature turned, reaching with its claws. Samuel backed away, swirling the spear in a circle of silver. This was often to be useful, as with the long blades he didn't need to be too close, but the akuma's members were longer than normal. Legs similar to that of an insect came from its back and attacked at once. Some were blocked by the spear, others found a way.
Samuel groaned in pain as his chest freed blood.
He and Elana stood side by side. The akuma, despite its humanoid shape, stood in all fours, hands a mix between human's and paws boasting scythe-like claws. Samuel threw himself against it, the half-moon blades of Elana following like swirling birds. The girl ran as well, attacking the akuma from the sides, searching for a weak spot.
Alison pulled her fingers from the ring in her bow. A line made of white-blue appeared, cutting across air when she released it. The akuma was hit in the shoulder, the impact making it back off with a sound of annoyance or hurt. Lauren jumped in the air and fell with her fists stretched in front of her, hitting the akuma's back with all her strength.
The attack forced it down. Lauren kept punching the same point, trying to weaken the armor there. Claws grasped her body, tearing apart her shirt and air escaped from her mouth once it started to crush her.
New arrows rained, alternating between the akuma's head and what it used as a hand. Two arrows pierced his larger eyes, making it let out a cry and release Lauren. Oil flowed from the destroyed eyes, releasing a stench of something long dead. There were pressure dents in its back, yet it was not enough to destroy it free the trapped soul.
"Think that has any effect?" The akuma laughed, its voice a sound that was recognized by the senses just as something that shouldn't exist.
"Ask that again when you're falling in pieces." Lauren groaned, almost to herself, trying to ignore the ache in her muscles.
The third akuma was scratching the roots of the tree, its large head lowered as a dog trying to get in a fox's den, eyes swirling insanely, many standing out of the sockets as protuberances. The Innocence should be strengthening the bark, otherwise, the akuma would have already torn it apart.
"Shit!" Alison realized it, eyes going from one akuma to the other. Lauren needed to be near it to fight, but she could hit the akuma's arms and stop some attacks… However, she couldn't let the Innocence be taken, either.
It was insanity. It had been years since any of them had even cared about retrieving Innocence.
Still attacking the akuma, aiming especially at the head and hands, Alison dared to look at the tree again… And realized there was someone behind the roots.
"Raz!" She cried in her mind. The tree was huge and large, and the akuma was so focused on just the Innocence that it had not realized the girl on the other side. Her skin was so pale that the colors seemed to cover her as a kind of chameleon.
Without stopping her arrows, fingers so fast she might have been playing a strange harp, Alison moved her bow in a second, not needing more than that to place the other akuma under her aim and shoot. Pale blue ran through the air and the creature reared when it was hit.
In the instant of a heartbeat, Raz lifted her head trying to look past the roots and her eyes met Alison's. At once, she was back to crawling as Alison alternated her arrows between one akuma and another.
The one who had been attacking the tree turned, charging at Alison.
Claws (or thorns) were shot against her.
Alison jumped back. A warm river of pain exploded in her left shoulder. Blood washed her clothes as she tried to attack again.
Belly against the grass, Raz reached out with her hands between the roots, trying to get the Innocence.
She had known she wouldn't be able to help in the fight and the sensation of self-loathing had washed all sensations. However, noticing the akumas were being fought by two Exiled each and the third was digging the roots and trying to grasp the Innocence, she had backed away to the trees.
Once out the clearing, she had circled it. She had hoped that, by taking this route, she could get the Innocence without being noticed. Then she had seen the akuma, biting and digging, trying to break the roots. Her blood felt cold.
After all she had seen, she didn't want to get this closer to an akuma.
Lying in the grass, she crawled, watching for every movement of the creature. She could only hope it wouldn't see her, relying on how large the tree was. It kept biting, scratching, growling. Its movements had no sanity. Her heart throbbed against the earth and Raz wondered how the akuma didn't feel it echoing in the ground.
It lifted its head as if sniffing the air. The girl froze, only daring to move again when the akuma started to bite the wood, leaving marks. The Innocence shone among the twisted roots, intercrossing in webs, making it hard to reach it. Upon sinking her hand among them, Raz felt their resistance, each one covered in sharp saliencies.
When the akuma roared in pain and anger, her eyes met with Alison's. And she wished she knew what to do. The image of shadows coming near Allen, straps hitting against the train cabin's walls and shards of it going up in the air as a dark mist came to her mind.
She didn't know how to control it, didn't know what to do with it!
Her fingers brushed against the Innocence. She pushed against the roots, trying to hold it, to use the tips of her fingers to bring it closer.
"Just a little more, c'mon…" The scars that started to form in her hands due to the feathers throbbed. "It doesn't matter, c'mon!"
Her fingers closed over something and she pulled.
The light in the tree waved, but like a candle whose flame starts to diminish, seemed to be able to hold on for a while longer.
Once the lights disappeared, they all would know the Innocence had been caught.
Raz stood behind the tree, her mind running through the options. Should she stay and get caught before the fight had ended, the Innocence would be destroyed right there (and she would be lucky if the man didn't reveal what she truly was in front of the others, Raz knew he hadn't done so until now due to his attention being in the Innocence).
However, the idea of running away and leaving the others, as frightened as she was, was hateful.
Elana's attacked the akuma's shoulder, her Innocence making a light crack as Samuel danced in the air, hitting its the head and chest with the blades.
The other creature growled, a reddish liquid dripping from the eyes pierced by Alison's arrows and its hands had scratches. But the girl now was fighting the other akuma as well and Lauren could not help her. Her mind didn't make thoughts with words, just sensations. There was a crack in the akuma's chest where Lauren had punched and her eyes hunted for any weak spot it could have.
"You'll be swimming in blood with your friend soon enough!" The thing teased despite its wounds. Lauren took a deep breath, ignoring her pain, focused on where the attacks came from and where hers would have more effect.
Lauren attacked. A right punch hit the akuma in the neck. The other was blocked by its hand. Both backed off. Pain shot from the nerves in her left hand that the akuma had tried to break. However, she realized that its hand also had four deep holes.
From where she stood watching, Raz felt her throat closing without her control. She saw the white of Allen's cloak, but didn't want to see it, trying to stop her mind from going too deep in the fact that the other man was a Noah, that he was like her and it was the first time she ever saw someone of her "Clan" and the sight of that white, of those Innocences, was again something she wished to see gone and…
The girl tried to take a deep breath and force her organism under control as she slipped back to the forest carefully.
They were all fighting to protect the Innocence.
The thing in her hand emitted a dim white and green light. If any akuma came after her, her position would likely be denounced even with the stronger lights still around. And once those were gone, the Innocence would be all the more visible. Even if Raz tried to hide it under her shirt, it wouldn't work.
"And why isn't it hurting me?" It didn't feel like when she had grasped those feathers in Allen's arm, it was different…
Well, not completely…
At the second her flesh came in contact with the Innocence, something had pierced her, making her bleed inside, something ancient that held her nerves. Among that river of substances, there was a strong desire of getting rid of that thing.
That Innocence.
There had been times still when the sight of the Innocence, be of Allen or those other people, would get to her even before this fight had started. It felt like thorns. She couldn't comprehend it, limiting herself to trying to control it, as much as it burned.
She didn't want to attack them.
Even Elana, Samuel and the others… They hadn't done anything against her or Allen. There was no reason for her to hurt them.
And Allen! He had been at her side even knowing she was a Noah. He could have killed her, but no, he had helped her.
Yet, no matter how much she tried to hold to those thoughts, it wasn't enough. The contact with the Innocence prickled her hand. And those sensations took over her.
She wanted to destroy that.
An akuma cackled.
The cacophony of the battle continued.
Raz took a deep breath as she crawled to the ground again, keeping the Innocence close to her body. It pulsated like a soft heartbeat. She had to force herself to keep holding it, a storm piercing her blood. What should she do? Run back to town? It would take time, she didn't want to leave the others. Hide the Innocence? Risky. How could she know that if she put it inside some hole in the ground or tree, the lights wouldn't appear once more or something else wouldn't denounce its location?
The lights around were becoming weaker by the second.
She didn't have much time.
Looking back at the clearing from behind a tree, she saw figures jumping against each other. Allen and the Noah were engaged in a violent dance. The boy tried to tie the Noah's arms with a band that came off his cape, but the other pulled, forcing Allen along and kicking him. Allen let go in the last second, managing to land an attack with his sword. His opponent seemed to walk in the air and avoid it.
Raz ran.
What she desired to do didn't matter, what mattered was what she could do.
Run, get away from the fight, just keep the Innocence safe. She could meet the others later, once they realized the Innocence was gone, maybe the akumas would leave to hunt for it and then they would be able to leave.
Maybe, maybe, maybe…
Alison's shoulder throbbed with pain where the thorn had pierced her. Blood still flowed, red drops fell in the grass, dark between the living colors. The akuma attacked, but her arrows never stopped, she fought to keep the movements at the same speed, to not let that thing out of her aim.
The akuma didn't need to come closer. Its thorns were cast as Alison's arrows were. Light birds and gray ones colliding in the air. The akuma had scratches and dents, a deep crack in its helmet. A creek of blood came from a wound in Alison's leg.
Samuel ignored the blood on his face. Agile, he hit the akuma as Elana cast waves, trying to block attacks at the same time. His spear pierced the internal side of the creature's elbow. Samuel used the support to lift himself and, with a swirl of his weapon, punctured the other blade against the armor.
It went deep in the back of the akuma's neck. Elana hit the blade of her fan against a spot in its waist where the armor seemed thinner. The akuma let out a roar. A pressure surged from inside out, as a cocoon exploding. The impact threw both to the ground with a fire-like heat.
Among the white explosion, the cacophony and pieces of metal fading in the air, the lights of the forest became paler.
And, slowly, they ceased to exist.
The night felt darker.
The forest became a sea of dark grey and green, bathed in moonlight. Having become used to the colors, Samuel had to blink, everything around looked like a graveyard now. He and Elana looked at the willow, but Lauren and Alison were the ones fighting the remaining akumas as Allen still tried to keep the Noah away.
No looks or words were needed. As one, they just ran towards their friends.
Tyki realized the darkness, the remaining people fighting the akumas and knew what had happened.
"So, Raziah took the Innocence, huh? I wonder what she will do now." There was the matter of what Lulubell had told them, yes, but there was also something more powerful here: The girl's nature.
The nature of a Noah.
"Sorry there, boy!" He hissed as he tried to kick the side of Allen's body. "But tonight, I'm here just for business" Allen blocked a hit with his sword, pushing it against Tyki at the same time.
There was no reply. Allen could hear the sounds of the fight around and knew the others were also fighting the akumas. The white light from before everything became dark again and a whisper that only he could hear had informed him that one of them had been destroyed.
But others still remained and those of Level Three were not to be made fun of.
Having fought Tyki before, Allen wanted to keep him away from the others.
The Noah turned his shield, one of the stars' edges aiming for Allen. He stopped it with his sword. Something hit his stomach. His organs burned, pushing the skin of his back, or so it felt like. Another hit in a precise spot of under his chest and he fell in the ground, the white cape of Crown Clown keeping him safe from the blades that rained over him. His lungs fought for air.
Standing near the trees circling around the clearing, Tyki observed him for a second before jumping back and disappearing, face ripped apart in a smile.
Allen stood… And hesitated.
Instead of running to the woods, he turned back to the field and to Lauren and Elana. Seeing him at her side, Lauren, who was trying to hit the Akuma in the helmet as Elana hit its arm, yelled.
"Allen, what do you THINK you're DOING?"
He attacked the akuma. The sword's blade hit its waist and the creature stretched its torso back as if the spine had been broken. Allen meant to attack again, but Lauren screamed once more.
"Go after that guy! Raz has the Innocence! He will kill her!" She groaned as she avoided the Akuma's claws. Elana cast a wave of energy against it.
"But…"
"You heard her! We'll follow! GO!"
Allen took off in the opposite direction. He ran among the trees, jumping over fallen ones. His wounds pulsated, but his body was used to fighting and the adrenaline helped to keep his focus, mind trained to ignore the pain and force the body to carry on.
He didn't want to leave the others, even if he knew they were strong. But he had to.
It was the Innocence that was in his mind. It was Raz.
Raz was a Noah.
Allen wasn't sure Tyki wouldn't hurt her.
"What if the Clan started to consider her a traitor like Neah?"
And what if Tyki denounced her to Samuel and the others? He didn't want to think about it now.
He stopped for a moment, whiteness shielding him, eyes seeking among shadows for a gleam to follow.
XxX
Raz ignored her wish to go back to the others, blood going from hot to cold in waves too fast to separate the sensations. She kept running. The forest was silent, she couldn't tell if the fight was over or if she was too far away to hear it. The lack of lights didn't interfere with her vision.
Finally, she stopped near a twisted tree, catching her breath. She felt like she could still go further, but wasn't sure this would be a good idea.
The lights were gone and she was alone.
The trees pointed to the sky, branches and leaves as claws. Moonlight fell like a mist, the only remaining source of light, making glass-like pools in the ground. It didn't feel the same and it wasn't because she had grown used to the strange lights. It was the silence.
No insects or night birds could be heard. Every living creature in the forest might as well be dead.
Was the fight over?
Would the akumas prefer to kill those people or to go search for the Innocence?
If she could at least hide the damn thing somewhere safe and go back…
"And what could you ever do?" The cold thought washed the storm in her. "Of what help could you even be?"
She felt empty. Heavy. Useless.
And at that moment, something else had the chance to rise above every thought or heartbeat she could ever have. The Innocence pulsated in her hand as a heart freshly ripped from a body. Except it wouldn't stop beating.
And Raz hated it.
She hated it enough to want it erased, gone forever. She would gladly do it if she knew how to. The greenish gleam reflected in her eyes.
Cursed. Hateful. Disgusting.
There was no forgiveness.
Her fingers closed a bit more, this time with no sense of protectiveness. A shiver ran through her arm's skin.
She had never thought such a powerful emotion could be possible. This was unlike the dread she had experienced, unlike anything else. It filled her, erasing the previous constant sensation of hollowness until she knew nothing else.
It was violent, a storm with no end, making her want, no need, to act upon it.
She hated Innocence.
She hated Innocence.
SHE HATED INNOCENCE.
Darkness bloomed in its rebirth. It stretched towards her in a wave. Raz didn't realize it, her fingers becoming stiff as claws and slowly closing more and more around the Innocence.
The hatred burned on.
She didn't know how to destroy it, but that's what she would do.
If that thing didn't exist… If only the Innocence didn't exist! If it was gone, then…
The Innocence pulsated again in her hand.
Raz blinked.
What was she doing? WHAT WAS SHE DOING?
Allen! And Lauren, Alison… They were all fighting to keep that Innocence safe and she had been about to try destroying it? Her nerves convulsed, creating an echo that waked her body.
Still, she couldn't get rid of that desire.
Self-loathing filled her, clashing against the hate for the Innocence.
What sort of monster was she?
In the silence, the small rustle behind her sounded as a bone being broken.
Raz turned, searching for movement in the woods. Had it been an animal? A strange sensation slithered in her veins, accompanying the blood. It was new, soft and fragile as the heart of a newborn.
She knew someone was there. That the noise had been deliberate.
A figure appeared, hidden in the shadows of the trees. It came closer, stepping into a scrap of moonlight.
The pale light illuminated the gray face of the male Noah. His black hair, once up to the back of his head, had gotten lose and fell in a messy ponytail over his back.
The sensation of when she had first seen him, the one inside her veins, became stronger due to its novelty. Unused to it as she was, the impact was enough to hurt her mind.
Tyki studied the girl in front of him, who was still keeping her human disguise. Her hair fell over her shoulders and back, a veil of bluish-black ink and her complexion was pale as a bone, face a mask that allowed no emotions or intentions to be expressed.
But he thought she had likely felt it, the usual recognition that Noahs felt when meeting one another.
"Good evening." He greeted her with a polite nod. Seeing she still held the Innocence, he indicated to it with his chin. "And… What do you intend to do with it?"
Ana: Well, things are not looking very good.
Alison: May I ask what is your deal with the wounds and scars?
Ana: Hey, war. What did you expect?
Alison: … It isn't that I expected anything different, but…
Ana: Whatever. Well, look guys, I never had much experience with describing fights and I feel some passages may have been quite badly written. What do you think?
Tyki: I think I need more screen time here.
Raz: I think I'm screwed.
Ana: Yeah, thanks for the great advice with my writing skills, you both ¬¬
Jy24: They are lucky Tyki is way too focused in the Innocence to make any comment for now. However, secrets like those cannot stay hidden forever.
Alison: I do wonder when we're going to find out.
Ana: You guys just met, I wouldn't be spilling about those details so early. Well, the Exiled for now don't know a thing.
Tyki: As I mentioned, there are a few things I could say…
Allen: And none of them would be of any help!
Tyki: Please, boy, I did save your life. You make it sound as if I don't care at all! And you and Raziah are our new family members!
Allen: Am not!
Raz: Hey, I may be Noah, but I don't even know you! You can't just go say things like that!
Tyki: Well, you're both stubborn as hell, that's for sure.